Archive of Our Own

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Like many other things in life, Remus John Lupin never really paid attention to the saying until he had to experience it himself.

On Friday night, he was sitting in a living room at Grimmauld Place for the regular film night with Black and Harry, but his mind was not really in the place. He paid no attention to the film that was played on the television set; he did not even notice the ongoing quarrel between the man and his godson.

Huddled in a woollen blanket, his attention was glued to an incoming message in his smartphone. 

Can u blv that this thing is called Dorayaki!?

It’s lk a pancake n it’s Dora <3 <3 like meeee

Coming with the message was a picture of his girlfriend Nymphadora Tonks holding a small pancake wrapped in plastic in front of her face. Only her eyes could be seen from behind the cake, and they did look excited.

Lupin chuckled. She seemed to be having a great time in Tokyo.

The couple met when Tonks filled in the position of drummer in Lupin’s old band The Marauders for a reunion show more than a year ago, and the man was proud to see that her own career had taken off since then. 

Her little band had been getting plenty of invitation to perform, and this time around, it came all the way from Japan. In the past week, the band had been moving from underground clubs to another, showcasing their songs and selling their self-recorded album in a small booth just outside the venue. Listening to this story about how close-knit the underground music network got him excited; perhaps he should start becoming more active again.

Bet they don’t taste as good as my Dora , Lupin typed his reply. Once he hit send, he placed the phone on the coffee table to finally pay attention to the film.

But he noticed that Harry was already changing the title to something else.

“What’s going on? Thought we're watching Hitchcock tonight?”

“Yes, but a certain crybaby couldn’t hold his feelings,” Harry answered grudgingly.

“A dog died! You know that’s off-limit!” Black shouted from underneath his blanket.

“People died in this one! It’s even more offensive!” 

Black threw his blanket away. “Then let’s watch Disney!”

“No! Many of the characters have no mother! That’s off-limit for me!”

Lupin rolled his eyes. "Okay, that's enough, you two." 

He then snatched the remote control from Harry's hand and searched for a film to watch on the streaming platform. His choice fell into a classic, romantic film from the 1980s. 

"There. No dead dog. No dead parents. Everybody happy." Throwing the remote control away, he returned to his side of the sofa and wrapped himself with the blanket.

Black snickered at his choice of film. "Someone is in a long-distance relationship."

Lupin turned towards Black, eyeing him sharply. 

Even Harry was chuckling from his spot on the floor.

"Oh, nothing … I was just pointing out that our little kine club is missing a member. She's still in China, isn't she?" Black hastily added.

"Japan."

"Right. Isn't it great how things are progressing? Seemed like only yesterday she showed up and offered to play for us."

Only at this point that Lupin's expression softened.

"Yeah, that's true. She deserves it. Happy for her."

He stretched to fix his position on the sofa, but a new message came into his phone. When he opened it, Lupin smiled to see a whole paragraph made of the heart emoji being sent to him. In real life, it would be equal to her squealing excitedly before jumping to give him a thousand kisses. 

This moment made him realise how he missed her so. 

It was the second time he felt that pang of emptiness since she was away. Only two nights before, as he laid awake on his bed, he had to resort to pleasuring himself with his own hand. At first, he thought he was just horny because she had just sent him a photo of herself in an onsen , with nothing but a small towel on her lap. But when he was done, not only that he felt ridiculous, he also felt incredibly alone.

He thought of how every night, ever since they moved in together, she would lie on his left side with her hand on his heart. Or if she was still awake, they would talk. And he would play around with her cheeks as she rambled on about rabbits, pancakes, or whatever weird things she was obsessing at the moment.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It was hard to believe that Tonks need to be on the other side of the planet for Lupin to realise how he could not live without her.

--

Monday came and everything seemed to return to normal for Lupin.

By normal it means that by 4 PM he was sitting in the teacher's office, facing three secondary school girls with a guilty look on their faces while Hagrid --the school caretaker-- swept pieces of broken window glass off the floor.

"Now can anyone tell me what exactly happened to this window?" 

"It was me, sir," said the first girl. "I was practising for the tournament, and then … it happened."

"No, no! It wasn't her! It was actually me," added the second girl. "I kicked the ball."

The third girl raised her hand. "Actually, sir. That's not true. It was me."

Lupin crossed his arms in front of his chest. "So what you are saying is that … all three of you kicked the ball together and smashed this window?"

"No, sir! Angelina and Katie weren't involved. It's just me," said the third girl, nodding confidently.

"Hold yourself, you weren't even there. I did this."

"No, obviously, the ball was mine …"

At this rate, Lupin was so confused that he had to cover his face with his hand. The extent that teenagers would go to cover up for each other! But then again, he may have done the same thing when he was their age. So perhaps everything was karma.

"Come on. Certainly, all three of you can't possibly be telling the truth?"

"But it's true, sir, I kicked the ball and it hit the window."

"You can't even kick that far!"

"Oh, you want to try me? They made you striker and now you can say shite?"

This time, Lupin actually had to slap his desk three times to stop their quarrel. "Hey, hey! That's enough. Miss Bell, language."

He opened his drawer to get the detention slip. "Since you are so keen to be responsible for this, then you will go to detention. All three of you."

"No, Miss Johnson, this is final," he added just as Angelina was going to open her mouth. 

Signing off, he handed each of them their own slips. "Now off you go."

Muttering their dissatisfaction, the girls marched out of the teacher's office. Hagrid soon followed; he nodded politely at Lupin as he passed.

"Thanks, Hagrid."

As he put all his things into his bag, Lupin wished really hard for the drama to be the last he should handle that day. It was quite rare for him to be able to go home early; he was already thinking of a cup of hot chocolate and something to read before dinner. If he was even luckier, his girlfriend would be free for a call. 

But then his phone rang.

And his eyes widened when he saw Tonks's name on the screen.

Knowing that Lupin would be in school, she would not call him without any warning. But the worst part was that when he picked up the phone, there was no reply but the sound of her crying over there.

"Dora? What's the matter?" Lupin made a move to a more secluded corner in the room. 

"R-Remus! Mum! She … she had an accident!"

Shit .

"What happened?"

"I … I don't know! She called, and … she seemed to be in pain, but I don't know what happened!"

"Take a deep breath, calm down." Lupin waved his hand around. "Any idea where she is? I'm done now, I can check for you."

"I don't know, think she's at home? Dad's out of town and t-the maid's not in … She didn't say anything, she just cried a-and she sounded in … in pain."

"Okay, I'm going there now. Where are you? In the venue?"

"Y-Yes. Just arrived."

"Good. Try to relax? I'll keep you updated."

"Thank you. Please let me know ...? If you need to take her to the hospital …"

"I'll let you know, sweetheart. Don't worry about it."

Once he was done packing, Lupin immediately ran off to the school gate.

Seemed like there would be no hot chocolate for the afternoon.

--

When Lupin arrived at this well-kept, beautiful house in a quiet residential area in the city, he was conflicted to find out that the gate was not locked.

On one side, he hoped that this means someone had come in to help Tonks's mother with whatever just happened to her. But he was also worried that there was a more sinister reason behind it. So he hurried along the well-decorated stone path, stopped in front of the door to knock it, and got even more anxious when he found out it was also unlocked.

"Excuse me?"

There was no answer, but he dared himself to step in.

"Hello? Anybody home?"

Finally, he heard a response.

"... Who's that ..."

Lupin had only ever met Andromeda Black Tonks once, just a few months ago, and even then the woman left a strong impression in his mind. Beautiful and patrician, Andromeda is the very personification of independence and power. Not only that she made her own rules, but she also expected others to follow them.

Yet the voice that he heard that day extremely far from what he knows of the woman.

After going around the guest room and the staircase, Lupin finally arrived at the family's living room --where he found Andromeda lying on the floor.

"Goodness …!"

As he rushed towards her side, he became aware that the woman was fully conscious, and had her head supported by a small pillow. Her mobile phone was placed nearby, but one of her shoes were missing.

"Oh. It's you," Andromeda said under her breath, and Lupin swore he could see her rolling her eyes when he appeared.

You see, their first and only meeting did not go that well for both sides. Having been in a relationship with Tonks for more than a year, Lupin innocently thought the woman had told her parents everything about himself --including that vital piece of information about his HIV status.

But it turned out that Tonks had her own reason to not tell her parents about it. So when Lupin consumed his medication during their dinner together, it came out as an unpleasant surprise for them.

As a result, Andromeda decided that her daughter should not be in a relationship with this man, who may have done something suspicious in the past to get infected by such a terrible illness. She was also worried about Tonks catching up the disease from him. Also, will they ever be able to have children? Andromeda wanted grandchildren, and she certainly expected healthy ones.

She had all sorts of reasons to disapprove of Lupin, and she was not going to be subtle about it.

"Dora called, she said you had an accident. What happened? Why are you on the floor?" Lupin asked, kneeling right beside the woman.

"Oh, nothing … my stupid old foot slipped off the stairs," Andromeda answered, grudgingly. "I called Dora because I panicked. Forgot she's in Tokyo."

Lupin dropped his jaw. The only stairs that he had seen in the house were the one he saw when he walked in. "What … you mean, that staircase!?"

"Well, this house doesn't need more than one, does it?"

Lupin just did not know how to best express it. "But … you're here?"

"Well, Remus, I certainly couldn't fly, so I had to crawl my way to this room because my foot was too painful to move," Andromeda answered. "Thank you for your keen observance."

Even in this state, she was still able to insult Lupin. But the gentleman just smiled.

"Do you mind if I give a look?" He asked. "Don't worry, I've had first aid training. The school made it compulsory since a student fell down from the third floor."

"Third floor!?"

"Yeah, tried to slide down using the handrail … excuse me," Lupin muttered, checking the woman's left foot. "Let me get some ice."

"It's in the kitchen."

"Alright."

Five minutes later, Lupin came back with a bowl of ice and a small towel. Wrapping the ice with the towel, he carefully placed it on Andromeda's foot. He also found a painkiller inside a first aid box and handed one to Andromeda, completed with a glass of water.

"Let's hope it's just a sprain. But to be certain, we need to get it X-rayed."

"No, not the hospital!" Andromeda shouted.

Lupin almost jumped back. "But …"

"No buts, this should be just fine. It's a minor thing."

"Well ... If you say so."

Lupin decided against arguing with the woman. But the man made his sitting position more comfortable, as he was determined to keep a close watch and take her to the hospital, if her condition does not improve. Even if he had to fight her for it.

A moment went by without them saying anything.

Lying on the floor with her eyes closed, Andromeda was either trying to deal with the pain or pretending that her daughter's boyfriend was not there. But Lupin thought he could at least tried to distract her.

"So, you dislike hospitals?" 

The woman opened her eyes. "Tsk. I spent the majority of my daughter's childhood going to emergency wards. I am so done with it."

"Oh? Why?"

"Many things. A broken bone, scrapped her feet here and there," Andromeda sighed. "Electric shock that one time."

Lupin's eyes widened. Tonks's clumsiness was legendary but he had no idea it was that bad. 

"Yes. When she was five, she fell off a tree because she tried to … to grab this balloon, that was stuck on a branch. Turned out she wanted to return it to the child who owns it, but she could have called an adult," the woman rambled on.

"Two years before, she saw me cleaning the house one time, and decided that she wanted to help. But she dipped this towel into water and used it to wipe the radio. Of course, she got electrocuted," she continued.

"Wow. A miracle she survived."

"Indeed. Her heart is in the right place, but she makes terrible decisions."

Lupin smiled. "Does that include me?"

The answer was clear enough, so Andromeda moved on to another topic. 

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Oh, it's already over. Dora's call came just in time."

"There's no need for you to come." But she did look in pain when she said it.

"I want to make sure that you're fine."

Andromeda rolled her eyes again, but this time she did not try to hide it.

"Are you mad at her for calling me?"

"I guess I couldn't stop her from trusting you that much."

Lupin laughed softly. 

"How?"

"Pardon?"

"How come she gets to trust you so much?"

Lupin felt the itch to say, despite me being ill and having a shady past? But reminding himself to be the bigger person, he took a deep breath instead. 

"I guess … Dora just has this ability to see the best in people. Even when the person himself struggled to see it."

He could not tell if Andromeda found the answer satisfying.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, the woman weighed in her next question carefully. But she did not seem to be deterred by her own consideration. 

"Well. You do seem like a good man, I have to admit. But I can't help having questions in mind."

"It's my illness, isn't it?"

"Well …"

"It's alright. You can ask me about it."

"Fine. I know this is going to sound very rude, but … one can't help feeling curious …"

"You want to know how I got it."

"Precisely."

Lupin closed his eyes and fixed his sitting position. Though not many people had dared to ask him this question --even Tonks waited until he told her the full story himself-- he had prepared an outline in mind, just in case it would be needed.

"Well. I wasn't a junkie, though I'd admit that I had used marijuana a couple of times in my youth. But I have never done anything harder than that. Let alone intravenously," he began. 

"And yes, I'm bisexual. Had been in a relationship with both men and women. But all of my former partners were negative. And I wasn't promiscuous. So that wasn't how I got it."

Andromeda did not give any reaction to his confessions.

"But I was assaulted by three men when I was 13. And that was, most likely, how I had gotten the virus."

"What …?"

The lady made a move to get up from the floor.

"I was living in Cardiff back then … The incident made it into the newspapers." He gave a bitter smile. "Not exactly how I imagined getting famous for."

"My God."

Lupin lifted his shoulders. "I only found out about the infection years after that."

"Does Dora know about this?"

Lupin nodded. "She does. I've told her since the beginning."

He added, "It wasn't a happy conversation, but I am determined to be honest. So if anyone asks me about this, I will bare all the facts."

Another moment of silence passed between them. Andromeda had intended to get up earlier, but the woman eventually returned to lying on the floor. There was no significant change in her face, but Lupin noticed that her voice softened.

"I had been very horrible to you, hadn't I?”

Lupin hastily waved his hands. "Oh, no … No. I'm not telling this for you to pity me …"

"Damn it, I have become my own parents."

Lupin was about to ask what she meant by that when his gaze fell into her foot --and he noticed a slight change on it.

"Uh … excuse me, sorry I had to cut in. But I think you really need to go to the hospital."

"Eh? What's the matter?"

"I noticed some discolouration. And the pain … it doesn't improve, right?" Lupin tried to get up from the floor.

Andromeda groaned. “Alright, alright! Get the car keys.”

--

The next minutes of his life reminded Lupin very much of the films he would watch with Sirius and Harry on weekends.

First, Andromeda instructed him to find the car keys in a certain drawer in the study --this alone had made him feel awkward and embarrassed.

Then, once the car was ready, he had to figure out ways to bring Andromeda in. The problem is that the lady was in so much pain that walking was just impossible, even with the help of Lupin's guidance.

So he actually had to carry his girlfriend's mother on his back.

As if this situation was not hard enough, his phone kept on ringing.

"That must be Dora."

"I'll pick it up later."

Once they were in the car, the lady would not stop complaining about the way he drives, despite being in constant pain.

"Why do you stop? We're in an emergency."

"Andy, it's a red light."

"Nonsense! Where's the police? We need to talk to him."

Meanwhile, his phone continued on ringing.

"Don't pick it up, you're driving."

Lupin had no choice but to nod and say yes. The lady kept on complaining about various other things that Lupin chose to just ignore everything that she was saying.

"... I said, has Dora ever told you about it?"

"Oh? Sorry?"

Shit, he missed that part. 

Before Andromeda could get mad, Lupin mumbled to himself about how Tonks perhaps had said something about it --whatever "it" is-- but he might need some, uh, refresher.

“Dora’s father and I. I ran away from home to marry him.”

Oh, right. He had heard about that one. 

“I met him when we were both students. It was summer, and I … was at my family’s home in the country,” Andromeda began. “It was so massive that Ted and his friends thought they were going hiking in a national park. They had no idea that they had entered private property. My father literally tried to shoot him.”

Lupin suddenly felt extremely blessed and lucky.

“We had to keep it a secret, of course, especially Ted was not like how he is today. He was not royalty, and he built the company from zero. He started out by doing door-to-door sales.” Andromeda could not hide the fact that she was proud of him, but this time Lupin actually agreed. The man was indeed admireable. 

“When he proposed, I decided that I had to tell my family about our relationship. Starting from my sisters. But they mocked me, and Cissy even told our mother about it. Tsk! The audacity. Only because Ted was a commoner! They thought I had no idea about the things Bella did behind our parents’ back,” Andromeda rambled on. “I heard she still does it today.”

Lupin vaguely remembered about Tonks having an aunt who moonlights as a high-end prostitute, but he chose not to dwell on that. There was something that Andromeda was trying to tell him.

“So I ran. To this day, I have only ever talked to Cissy once, when my mother died. But I would never go back to that house, Remus. They may have raised me, but we do not share the same value.”

“I see.”

Andromeda then turned towards Lupin’s direction, and to his surprise, she grabbed his arm tightly. “Remus. Whatever it is that has led Dora to you … If what you two have is true, then don’t ever let me stop you.”

“A-Andy?”

She slowly released him from her grab.

“Just … tell her to visit me more often. And if possible, wear skirts. No more tattoos.”

Lupin struggled to find a word to say, but luckily, they soon arrived at the hospital. 

He stopped the car at the emergency unit, where a nurse walked out to help them got Andromeda into a wheelchair. Lupin hurriedly explained to him her condition and the first aid that he had given, and the nurse nodded before carrying her inside. 

He returned to the car to bring it to the parking lot, but before he got in, he heard Andromedia shouting to the nurse. 

"My son is parking the car, but once he came back, you should let him in ..."

It seemed like there are more than one good news to tell Tonks when she called him later that day.

END