Chapter Text
Neal was on his lunch break, sitting on the table top of a picnic table behind the lube and repair shop in a pair of coveralls, hands twitching to empty pockets. Fuck, what he wouldn’t give for a smoke right about now. He hadn't succumbed in months but he just couldn't shake the urge.
“Hey!”
Neal looked up, smirking at Del. “Hey yourself,” He said, hopping off the table and sitting proper. “What the hell are you doing here so out of the library with us roughens?” He said, referring to Del's job as a librarian. He started out as an assistant but they liked him so much he ended up getting promoted... plus it didn't hurt he was pretty smart and well read, once you got past the goofy bumbling exterior.
“Very funny smartass, you’re just jealous.” He said as he unloaded the sack he carried. “They didn’t have your usual so I got you roast beef.”
“Ugh…well I guess I can live with that. Thank you all the same.” He said with dismay as he took it. “And yeah, maybe I am a little jealous. You look at a librarian and think: well that’s a fuckin’ respectable position. You don’t get covered in grease, you don’t smell like a wreaking yard, no one thinks you’re trying to rip them off unless we're talking late fees-“
“And since when did you not care about any of that? Aside from the grease thing."
Neal huffed, looking away.
"...This is about the kid isn't it?" Del asked grimly.
"What? Please." He said dismissed.
The kid, aka the alleged bastard child he might've fathered with Susan, his last girlfriend before he left Chicago and last person he dated he really gave a shit about. Sure, he wasn't a total unfeeling bastard in regard to those that followed, he cared about them enough but nothing ever really clicked.
...Of course then Del had to come along, sitting there across from him in his argyle sweater vest with that damn mustache and mop of curly hair eating his tunafish and looking like the best thing he'd seen since he last saw him earlier that morning.
"Ever since you learned about the kid four months ago from an old friend you've been fretting about them, not to mention thier Mom: the one that got away."
"Susan isn't 'the one who got away,' she just someone I dated, broke up with a few times, then got back together with good number of years before she broke up with me for good. Probably because she was pregnant and didn't want me to have anything to do with it."
"You don't know that."
"Well what I do know is the kid is seven and I last saw Susan a little under eight years ago. The numbers make you wonder."
“Maybe she broke up with you before she knew about it, and uh…didn’t know whose it was if you get my drift.”
Apparently Neal did because he jumped up and gestured angrily at Del. “I keep telling you, she wasn’t that type of woman. she would've...I don't know, kept track of that sort of thing, you hear?!?”
"Hey, take it easy, What I meant to say is how do you even know it's yours? Maybe she didn't tell you about it because it was someone else's."
Neal sat down, defeated look on his face. "...No, I suppose I don't know if it's mine for sure. But like I said, the numbers line up."
“And who knows, it could be a an in between situation, where she learned after but felt like you were too much of a mess to get in touch with. Maybe she met someone else.”
“Bet he has his shit together, has one of those fancy college jobs too-“ Neal started resentfully, but Del stopped him.
“Hey, I said maybe.” He shook his head. “...Here's bright idea, why haven't you gone and talked to to her already?"
"Well, several reasons, for one I wanted to prove I could hold down a job for a decent amount of time...and for another, us I guess."
Del looked at him suspiciously. "What about us?"
"We've got a good...I don't know, a good thing going on and I didn't want to mess things up."
Del looked around uncomfortably. "Neal-"
"Yeah I know..." He said lowly, hunching forward. "I know, we aren't exactly a thing, but we aren't exactly not a thing neither -"
"We aren't, period." Del snapped, regretting saying it the second he did. He wasn't sure why he was still so insistent, maybe because feeling like this again scared the shit out of him. "If you want to get back together with you're baby mama, see if I care."
"I don't want to get back with Susan!" Neal hissed, growing frustrated.
Del shook his head in disbelief. "Whatever you say... but what the hell are you planning on doing about it anyway?"
Neal looked up, taken off guard by the question. "What?"
"Well you must have some sort of plan." Del pointed out. "Hopefully you do anyway."
"Oh I don't know, I guess talking would be a good start, like I could say: ‘hey, I heard you might have had my kid. I wanna try not being a deadbeat? I don’t earn a lot, but maybe you need some help with rent, or groceries-’”
“And what, you’re going to just show up at their place?”
“For one, I don’t know where that is. I do know where she works weekdays at that place called 'Eddie's Diner' I was thinking…I go in when she has a shift.”
“A solid plan. Do you want me to come with? Give you moral support?”
He tusked. “Christ Del, you don’t need to get involved in this.”
“Well it’s taken you ages to do it, someone ought to be there to make sure you don’t chicken out like you have been for months.”
“Like I said, I wanted to make sure I had a good handle on the job.” He said defensively.
“Right, sure…you want me to come or what?”
“Yeah, sure…we’ll go tomorrow morning for breakfast. I figured the kid won’t be there since she'll be at school. Not that that matters, I just don’t want to put Susan in a weird position.” He insisted, hunching over his sandwich, and Del shot him a sympathetic smile.
“It’ll be alright, okay?”
Neal nodded, taking the time to swallow his food before agreeing: “Alright.”
---
Eddie's Diner
It was a busy morning and Del and Neal had been seated at a booth and were waiting for their server, Neal slouched down and testily drummed his fingers against the table top.
“You know what? I don't think she's even working today maybe we should just leave-” Neal said suddenly.
“Jesus, we should at least ask, don’t be an idiot.” Del said, glancing at the area behind him, face falling. "Uh... what was Susan's last name?"
Neal looked at him suspiciously, as the sound of footsteps approached. "Gibbs, why?"
"Mr. Griffith, what a pleasant..." the waitress started before she saw Neal, who'd still been slouching and shielding his face but straightened up with smoothness of a car dealership tube man jerking around in the breeze.
"Hey, how you doin'?" He managed.
"Worse then half a second ago." She retorted before asking Del: "You know this imbecile?"
"Oh I don't know if I'd go as far as to call him an imbecile..." Del said with an uncomfortable laugh.
"And so what if he does?" Neal snapped, before amending: "...The knowing me part, not the imbecile part. That was a bit harsh."
"Well I'd be harsher, but some of us have jobs." Her wild curly blond hair was pulled back from her face, highlighting the tacky gold earrings she wore. She looked exactly like he remembered, only older. He supposed he looked older himself, though a different kind. When they'd met she'd been in her mid twenties, hadn't hit that point where you stopped growing and started aging. Neal... well it was safe to say he'd been a bit past that point.
He tugged at the open collar of his coveralls "Hey I'll have you know I have a job. See it's got an embroidered name and everything, they don't give that to the short timers."
"Well good for you." She said tiredly. "Honestly in you're case that's impressive."
“Yeah, ever since I moved back in December.” He said matter of factly, choosing to ignore the thinly veiled insult. “I work at O’Malleys lube and tire.”
“I can back that up.” Del chimed in. “And I would love some coffee if it isn't too much trouble...”
She filled Del's mug, otherwise not breaking stride on her argument with Neal. "I heard you were back in town, was hoping it was some sort of rumor. What's it been been, seven years?”
“Nearly eight accually.”
"Still not nearly long enough." She said dryly, looking away.
Aw come on, it wasn’t that bad.” Neal said. "We had some good times didn't we?"
“The bar fights, the drinking, I’m pretty sure you were messing with drugs at one point-“
“Just to make money, sometimes I got into tight spots, I never used and I haven't done that in almost two years.” And he repeated at Del: “Almost two years!”
“Well I-I don’t see why I would care, I’m just a friend here for breakfast.” Del said almost defensively, smiling at Susan. "I really truly had no idea you worked here. I mean, sure I've seen you in that uniform but-" He chuckled nervously. "You've seen one waitress uniform you've seen 'em all."
"I'm sorry?" Susan said with bewilderment and Neal rolled his eyes.
“He just means he's traveled a lot, you know one thing blendin' into another and all that shit. My point is-“
“Mr. Griffith?” A girl’s voice inquired, tiny steps pattering over the worn linoleum.
“Hun, I told you do your work and not bother the patrons.” Susan said.
“But mom, that’s the librarian, Mr. Griffith..." She insisted.
“Hey I don’t mind!" He said brightly, to which Neal, who currently curling up into himself again muttering: 'I don't think that's what she meant' But Del ignored it. "...How’s it going, it’s Marty right?”
“Yeah...What are you doing here, outside the library?” She asked with a frown.
“Well librarians have lives outside the library, just like your teachers." Susan offered.
"Right! Exactly. I was just getting breakfast with uh…my friend Neal.”
Neal cleared his throat, turning to her, attempting his best smile. “Hi there.”
“I’ve seen you before too, in some of mom’s old photos.” She said. “You hair looks weird now though-“
“He’s an old friend…and don’t be rude, get back to your workbook.”
“But Mom…” She whined.
“Go.” She insisted, before turning a glowering gaze to Neal.
"So...look at that, you have a kid." He said with an uncomfortable laugh. "Who apparently Del knows."
"Entirely a coincidence." Del insisted. "I know a lot of people. I'm a librarian, that's sorta part of the job."
She scoofed. "Whatever. Regardless of where he heard it from I'm guessing Neal is here because he heard I had a kid and thinks she's his."
“…Two things: For one I didn't think she'd be around... I figured she’d be in school or something.”
“Your about half a month off, that's not until September.” Susan said tiredly.
"Second of all I don't think, I know. Namely based on how your looking at me right now and well...the most damning evidence of all is her face-"
"Neal, not to contradict but she doesn't exactly look like you." Del interjected.
"Yeah I know but I swear she looks just like my Ma when she was that age. I'll show you a picture sometime."
"So she might be yours, what's your point?" Susan said. "Have you come to bitch at me for not telling you? Or heaven forbid, get back together? Because-"
"Whoa, take it easy, I wasn't interested in doing either of those things." He said quickly. “I just came to tell you I ain’t no deadbeat. I wanna help out with money, or whatever.”
“I don’t want your money, or ‘help’. Why the hell do you think I’ve never told you about her?”
“I know, I'm a mess, but I've been trying to shape up ok? I'm trying to be civil here, could we take this down like, ten notches?"
She huffed, taking a deep breath. "Fine...look, I'll admit it isn’t easy being a single mom, but part of that is quality control, keeping the schmucks out. And as far as I remember you’re a schmuck.”
“I won’t deny that, but underneath he’s a decent guy.” Del chimed in again. "Like he said, he's kept that mechanic job for almost nine months now."
“What’re you, his damn lawyer?” She asked.
"No, just his roomate, here for moral support and all that.” Del said nervously.
Susan cracked up at that. “You know what? fine...I’ll think about it.”
“Good enough.” Neal said. "So, how about some grub?"
---
She showed up at the shop a couple days later, he heard her asking for him when he was in the middle of an oil change.
“Didn’t expect to hear back from you at this point.” He said as soon as he finished, covered in oil. “Sorry about the grease by the way... had a job that was messier then expected.”
“I got puked on by a drunk fella last week, a little grease isn’t anything.” She said looking over O'malley's. "Decent place, at least I know enough people who've come here and haven't gotten ripped off. Also apparently you weren't lying about you keeping a job here for nine months."
"You've been checking up on me?" He asked.
"What did you expect?" She answered. "It's not like I'm just going to take your word for it."
“I guess that's a decent point. What I’m surprised about is how you’re still doing the whole waitress thing, expected you to be married to one of those big shots in the suits, who work in those tall buildings. You're pretty, smart…”
"Been there and done that." She said. "Fairly recently in fact, we were living in Rockford but me and Marty moved back here after the divorce because I have more family here."
"Good timing on my part I guess." He joked.
"Yeah, it's god damn fate." She said tiredly. "But at this point I’m almost in my mid thirties, work in a greasy spoon, and am a single mom, I don’t have a ton of prospects lining up. And the guys that are aren’t exactly ideal.”
“What, like me?”
She winced, shaking her head. “…I may have overreacted a little bit the other day.”
“A bit?” He said with a smug smile.
“Don't get cocky, you’re still schmuck.” She shot back, before adding: “…But I was thinking on it for a bit and it does mean something, you trying to own up."
“I’m a lot of things but I ain’t no deadbeat.” He said. "At least, I like to think I'm not."
“It also means something that you didn’t make a scene with Marty."
"What are you talking about..."
"I think you know damn well what I'm talking about."
He made a frustrated noise. “I figured there was a reason why you broke up with me, not to mention never telling me and all. I get it…I was a mess.”
“Yeah, well so was I. And for the record, I didn’t know about it when we broke up. But when I did I made this grand decision to cut out all the bullshit, and that included you.”
“Well I woulda liked to know.” He muttered. "So what are you saying, are you gonna give me a chance?"
“Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t trust you, so we go by my rules. For one as far as she’s concerned you’re on probation.”
“I guess I can understand that.”
“-And as far as money goes…the diner just had a night shift part time dishwashing position open up. I put in a good word to Eddie about you, the positions yours if you want it.”
“Christ, I’m good for the money-“
“Like I said I don’t trust you yet, I need to know it's honest money.” She insisted. “You wanted to help this is how. At least for the time being.”
“Alright, fine.” He said. "And just so we're clear, I really am not interested in getting back together."
"Oh god, don't flatter yourself buddy." She said with a laugh.
"I'm sayin it just incase that was a concern, I'm sorta involved with someone. Met them around the time I came back here, and it's been good." He sighed, the last few days had been awkward. "I mean, I always feel like I'm on the verge of fucking it up... but it's been good."
"Clearly they've had a good influence on you...maybe figure that before you end up doing that."
He nodded grimly. "Right...gotcha."
She looked over his shoulder at the El Camino parked by the office, gleaming in the sun. "Is that a customer's?"
He smiled proudly. "Nope, that'd be mine. When I was trying to get to Chicago from New York last winter I go stuck in Wichita, that's where I stumble across it."
She laughed with disbelief, walking over to the car. “Your joking, you just stumbled across one of your dream cars in Kansas, cherry red paint and everything?”
“Del, the librarian fella, says I’m an idiot, with all the money I've had to shill out for with all the shit that’s been wrong with it, not to mention the undercoating for when winter comes rolling around again... but I’ve made a mint when folks need shit hauled.”
“I’ll bet...well, congrats.” She said. "The dishwashing gig starts tomorrow night at seven. Don’t be late.” She was about to go before adding: “What the hell did happen to your hair?”
“Stress?” He offered. “Genetics? To tell you the truth it was starting to go gray when we dating, I just covered it up.”
“At least you aren’t losing it.” She said with a raised brow, before finally going.
“Hey, small favors.” He called out as he went back into the garage.
---
Del hadn’t seen Neal since that morning because he had a meeting about the fall reading program, and discovered him pacing in the living room agitatedly, Billy Joel playing on the stereo.
“Billy Joel type of day huh?” Del asked with dismay, Neal grunted, waving the comment off. “So what happened? You finally slip up an let loose on an asshole customer?”
“The week’s young. No, Susan dropped by.”
“Was it bad?”
“Naw, it was good actually. Has me on a probationary period just in case I mess up or piss off, but she’s gonna give me a chance. Even got me a job at the diner as a dishwasher so I can make some extra money to uh…pass along.”
“She doesn’t trust your money, does she?” Del said with amusement.
“Apparently not, but you know, it’s a start.” He said.
“Hey, this is great, why are you freaking out then?”
“What if I do mess up?” He said in distress.
“You shouldn’t look at it like that, all you can do is try your best. And you’ll be fine, maybe not the best-“
“Thanks…” Neal snapped.
“But it’ll be fine.” Del insisted. “And hey, you’ve got me, and don’t you always say I’m your lucky charm?”
“Yeah and you always call me a sappy weirdo for saying that.” Neal snapped. "'sappy drunk weirdo' if I'd been drinking."
“Well it’s a special occasion." he said, offering his arm. Neal looked at it suspiciously.
"What are you doing?"
"What the hell do you think I'm doing?" When Neal still looked confused, Del sighed with frustration. "It's been a long few days, and I didn't mean what I said before...I do give a shit about the idea of you getting back with your ex. I don't want to but I do."
"Well that isn't gonna happen, alright? Even if it weren't for you, we're two different people now." Neal said, stepping forward and joining him in embrace. The tape went from ‘Only the Good Die Young' to 'Always a Woman' started and Neal sighed, putting his head on his shoulder.
“You really are lucky, a charmed fucker." Neal muttered. "Us finding this house, or helping me get the El Camino...”
“Hey, don’t put the blame on me for that heap of junk,” Del joked as he swayed them in place.
Neal chuckled, lifting his head to face him. “I’ll have you know Susan congratulated me on that heap of junk today.”
“So she has a bad taste in men and cars?” Del asked.
“You’re full of it, you know that?” He said as Del laughed at his own joke. “And to be fair you have a similar taste in men.”
“Well you know…” Del said uncomfortably. “That's different, it varies... day to day.”
“What about today?” Neal asked hopefully. "What are my chances tonight?"
"I'd uh... say they're pretty good.” Del said, and Neal smiled as they kissed.
“Sleep in the same room good?” Neal asked and Del shrugged nonchalantly.
“I could used the company, and I'm sure you could too.”
---
Despite Del's comforting presence though, sleep didn't come easy to Neal.
"...Your still awake." Del muttered, the gears turning in Neal's head almost deafening in the silence.
"Just worried."
"I told you-"
"I know, I know-" Neal growled in frustration, sitting up in boxers and a ratty t-shirt, turning on the nightstand lamp. He hugged one of his legs, they had a scrappy but toned look to them, like a cat that had been out on the street too long. "I was thinking of college."
"I think you mention you dropped out?"
Neal smiled grimly. "Not precisely. See, I got a scholarship in track and field. But in the first part of my sophomore year I did something stupid and broke my leg. The school was considerate enough to let me stay if I kept my grade up but uh..." He shook his head. "I was already in a bit of a tailspin, and things went down from there."
"What's your point?" Del said quietly.
"My point is I'm poison, if I could make things go to shit I could do it again, this time with someone younger and more vulnerable-"
"Geez, slow down." Del said, voice thick with sleep. "First of all...you were just a kid then, and you've been trying hard to be better."
"I guess." Muttered Neal.
"And second of all, your not in this alone babe, I'm here for you and the kid."
"Del, you don't have to do that, this is my bullshit-"
"Don't be ridiculous, your bullshit is my bullshit. Besides, she's one of the better ones."
"She must take after Susan...but thanks, I appreciate that."
He laughed to himself, making Del ask: "What is it now?"
"You just called me 'babe'." Neal said smugly.
"What? No I didn't." Del insisted and Neal grinned, turning off the lamp and slinking over to him in the dark.
"Yes you did, baaaby..." He said, drawing the word out teasingly as he kissed him.
"God your such a pain," Del said in feigned frustration, kissing back and wrapping an arm around him.
"You know you love it." Neal muttered tiredly as he settled against him.