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2019-08-22
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rice porridge for the soul

Summary:

Being sick has never felt this pleasant. It doesn’t matter that they’re all in Hajime’s cramped little bedroom; Nazuna leaning on the doorframe, Mitsuru seated on the floor and Tomoya on the chair by his desk. It doesn’t matter that his head hurts and he’s tired. None of it matters when he can still feel himself smiling so genuinely, heart warm with the love he holds for these three boys, who love him just as much back.

 

written for day four of ra*bits week. prompt: tea time.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

Despite his appearance, Hajime is pretty sturdy. His stamina may not be the best and he can be pretty clumsy, but his arms are strong and so is his immune system. He rarely gets sicker than a sore throat and some sniffles in the winter, and at the end of the school year, he’s always among the ones with the highest attendance. 

Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean he’s immune to the common cold. 

Fall brings with it a cold nip in the air and unpredictable weather. It’s always too cold in the mornings and too warm in the evenings, with gloves and scarves being stuffed into bags as students leave to go home. Hajime always prefers being well prepared, sometimes even bringing an extra pair of gloves in case someone else has forgotten theirs. 

Not only does he dislike being cold, but he also knows he can’t afford to get sick. Between studying and part-time jobs and Ra*bits activities and helping out at home, there’s always something Hajime needs to do, some kind of work that he can’t neglect. In the few moments he does have some free time, he always makes sure to be with his siblings. Sometimes that means watching movies with them, other times— like now— it means taking a walk outside to admire the fall colors. 

It’s among the bright shades of orange and yellow that Hajime notices his sister shiver. It’s barely noticeable really, but Hajime is always extra perceptive when it comes to those he cares about, and he’s quick to give her his scarf so she can keep having fun frolicking in the leaves. 

Both his brother and sister look like they’re having so much fun, Hajime easily forgets how cold he really is. It also doesn’t help that he tugs off his gloves as well to snap some pictures of his siblings’ lovely smiles, ignoring his own shivers. 

It’s only when he wakes up the next day, hours before his alarm and with a stuffy nose, that he realizes he might have been a little too careless. 

And it’s only when he’s struggling to keep his eyes open in class that he realizes that he probably should have stayed at home.

But as much as he wanted to, there was no way he could. He had already promised Tsumugi he would help him reorganize the shelves at the library, and he still needs to fold and deliver all the uniforms he had washed for numerous units, and oh, hadn’t he also been asked if he could help out in the kitchen during lunch?—

Something gentle and cool lands on Hajime’s forehead, and he can’t help but lean into it, for once not startling at the sudden touch. Maybe he should be more hesitant when he doesn’t even know what it is, but he doesn’t care enough to open his eyes and see. It feels nice and that’s all he needs to know.

In fact, it’s so nice, he could probably just fall asleep like this.

Unfortunately, the cool sensation leaves far too quickly for his liking, and Hajime finally forces his eyes open to see where it had gone.

“Hajime, you’re burning up!” Unsurprisingly, it’s Tomoya, and Hajime barely catches a glimpse of his retreating hand. “You even look sick— why did you come to school today?” His tone is far more concerned than scolding, and Hajime hates seeing Tomoya’s expression so pinched with worry. 

“I don’t have time,” Hajime mumbles at last, finally taking in the rest of his surroundings. Some of the other students are walking around the classroom too, talking to their friends, and the teacher seems to have already left. Ah, is class already over...?

“What do you mean you don’t have time?”

Hajime shifts his gaze back to Tomoya’s face, forcing himself to focus on those warm, brown eyes. “I have work today. I have to help out at the cafeteria, and then at the library after school, and—”

“There’s no way I’m letting you do that when you’re this sick. Seriously, you look like you’re going to pass out any second.”

Hajime forces a smile. “I’m fine, Tomoya-kun, you always worry too much.”

Tomoya huffs, “That’s my line, you know. Either way, I don’t think I’m worrying too much when you’re literally sitting in class with a fever. I’m surprised you even managed to get here when you’re this sick.”

Honestly, Hajime is surprised as well. His body had felt so heavy when he had pushed himself out of bed, running on a headache and too little sleep, but the thought of letting people down was stronger than any cold could be. Working while sick is fine if it means not disappointing anyone.

“C’mon,” Tomoya says, trying to pull Hajime out of his seat. “I’m taking you to the infirmary. You’re gonna rest there till your parents can come pick you up.”

“Eh?” For the first time that morning, Hajime looks fully awake, eyes wide with surprise. “No no, I can’t do that. Both mom and dad are working late and— I already told you I’m too busy.”

“And I told you I’m not letting you work when you’re sick.” Tomoya’s tone is strict, but his expression remains gentle and worried. “You’re just going to end up collapsing if you push yourself too hard.” There’s a brief pause as he purses his lips. “I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I let that happen.”

And as much as Hajime wants to argue against that, there’s no way he can. Not only does Tomoya have a good point, but he also makes it difficult to say no when he has those big, concerned puppy eyes.

“Nn…” He’s so close to giving up, especially when he can feel the exhaustion weighing him down more and more by the second. “But… those people are counting on me to help them out. I can’t just back out now, it’d be too difficult to find someone else on such a short notice.”

“You really need to stop worrying more about other people than yourself, you know…” Tomoya mutters as if he’s said this a million times before— which he has, though Hajime never seems to listen. “I’ll find someone to cover for you, and if I can’t, I’ll just do the jobs myself.”

“There’s no way I can let you do that, To—” Surprising even himself with how suddenly it happens, a coughing fit cuts Hajime off. It’s painful, tearing through his throat as he coughs into his elbow, eyes squeezed shut. He vaguely feels Tomoya’s comforting hand on his back, though he can’t hear what he’s saying. 

“—ing you to the infirmary.” Hajime catches the end of Tomoya’s sentence once the coughing finally subsides, leaving him pressing his hands against his chest in a weak attempt to minimize the pain. Though he hates to admit it, Tomoya is right; there’s no way he can work when he’s this sick. Not even determination and anxiety would be able to keep him from coughing and possibly fainting, which would only cause even more trouble. 

“O-Okay,” Hajime manages with a weak nod, letting Tomoya help him up. 

He feels a twinge of guilt watching Tomoya gather all his things and carrying them for him. It reminds him of all the times Tomoya had helped him during middle school, always so patient and kind, always waiting for Hajime no matter how slow he was. And here he was again, letting Hajime wrap his arms around one of his as he leads them to the infirmary. 

He leans on Tomoya, wishing quietly that, one day, he’ll be strong enough for Tomoya to lean on him too.

 

..

 

Time passes by quickly in the infirmary. Hajime falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow, neither the headache or sore throat strong enough to keep him awake. He could have probably slept there till the next day had it not been for someone gently shaking him awake, quietly speaking to him.

“Hajime-chin? Heeey~ Hajime-chin?”

He forces his eyes open only to see a blurry mess of yellow and blue in front of him. As his body slowly wakes up and memories of the morning come rushing back, Hajime finally manages to make out Nazuna’s features. “N… Niichan.”

Nazuna smiles, though the concern is obvious. “Hey Hajime-chin. Are you feeling better now?”

His headache isn’t as bad as it had been, but his throat is still sore and every limb feels like it weighs a ton. “Yes. Sagami-sensei gave me some medicine too, so I feel much better now.” He feels awful.

“You’re obviously still sick,” comes Tomoya’s voice, catching Hajime off guard. He lifts his head just enough to check, surprised to see both Tomoya and Mitsuru standing behind Nazuna. 

“Don’t make it sound like a nap and some pills can cure you in a day.” Tomoya once again speaks with the stern, yet concerned tone in his voice. Hajime catches a glimpse of the expression matching his tone, before he drops his head back on the pillow, closing his eyes again. 

He doesn’t want Tomoya to look so worried. He doesn’t want Nazuna or Mitsuru to worry about him either.

He doesn’t want to disappoint all those people he had promised he would help.

All Hajime really wants to do is become one with the cot he’s lying on.

“Is Hajime-chan going back to sleep?” he hears Mitsuru say. “I thought we were helping him get home!”

“We are,” Nazuna answers, placing his hand on Hajime’s shoulder again. “C’mon, Hajime-chin. We know you’re tired, but you’ll be able to rest better at home.”

A part of him wishes to argue that he could just sleep here till tomorrow. It would save him the trouble of having to go home and back to school, and it’s not like there’s anything at home that he really needs to do—

“Dinner!” Hajime exclaims, quickly sitting up and immediately regretting it when the dizziness hits him like a ton of bricks. The world seems to sway a little, tilting more and more to the left, until he feels someone steady him, keeping him from falling out of bed. 

“H-Hajime-chin?” Nazuna says, looking a little spooked. Oops.

“I have to cook dinner for my siblings today.” The words come out in a rush as Hajime tries to steady himself before finally pushing himself off the cot. Nazuna remains close by, making sure Hajime can actually stand. “What time is it? They’re probably wondering where I am.”

“Calm down, Hajime,” Tomoya says. “Classes only just ended. If anything, you’ll be home early since you’re not working today.”

Hajime blinks. “Did you find someone to cover for me?”

“Yup. When I explained the situation to Tetora he agreed pretty quickly. I think he might have dragged Takamine with him too.”

“Thank you, Tomoya-kun… I’ll have to get them something in return, maybe I’ll wash their uniforms for free next time...”

Tomoya smiles, “Worry about that later. Let’s get you home first.”

 

..

 

Though the Shino household is rather far away from the school, time passes by quickly for Hajime as he dozes off on the train, head resting on Mitsuru’s shoulder. Even the walk from the station to his house doesn’t take long when he’s got Tomoya and Mitsuru on either side of him, arms linked together in an attempt to share their warmth. Hajime still feels a shiver creep up now and then, but both Tomoya and Mitsuru react by getting even closer to him. It reaches the point where their feet almost get tangled up in each other, but none of them seem to mind. 

The house is still empty when they arrive, but a quick time check lets Hajime know that his siblings will probably be home in an hour or so. 

“Thank you for walking me all the way home,” Hajime says, smile warmed with friendship rather than the fever. 

Mitsuru grins back, but makes no move to leave. “We’re staying with you!” he announces. “You said you gotta make dinner, right? So we’ll make it for you! And take care of you too. You shouldn’t be alone when you’re sick yanno.”

Hajime has lost count of how many times his friends have surprised him this day, but it seems they have even more secrets hidden up their sleeve. “You— you don’t have to do that…? Making dinner shouldn’t take too long. But if you really want to stay, I could make food for you too. Ah, but I don’t think I have enough ingredients...” The supermarket isn’t too far away though, but Hajime barely has any money left for this month, and he wouldn’t dare ask his parents for more now that the cold weather means higher electricity bills. 

Would it be rude to make dinner for his friends from discount vegetables that were about to expire...?

“Don’t be silly, Hajime-chin. We’re here to help you, not to make you make dinner for us.”

Truthfully, a part of Hajime doesn’t want to say no to their offered help. With his unit mates looking so understanding and kind and genuinely happy to help, Hajime finally relents, trying to push away the twinge of guilt poking at him. Maybe he can let himself be spoiled by his friends, just for today. 

He’ll make it up to them someday— it’s what he always says when he lets himself accept their help.

It’d be rude to say no when they’re being so insistent, Hajime tries to tell himself as he finally opens the door all the way for them to enter. “Alright, um. Please excuse the mess...”

“Pardon the intrusion~!”

It’s a small house, and even with all four of them being relatively small, the hallway gets cramped easily, so Hajime hurries out of the way. 

“You should go lie down.” Tomoya is the first to get his outerwear off, moving to stand next to Hajime. He looks at home in the Shino house, having visited more than either of them can count “We’ll take care of everything, so go get some rest. I’ll get some medicine and tea ready for you.”

Going to lie down while he knows everyone else is being productive feels far too foreign to Hajime, and he can’t help but hesitate. “I can show you where things are—”

“It’s fine, I already know where everything is,” Tomoya interrupts, again with that gentle tone of his that leaves no room for argument. Hajime feels weak, but he blames it fully on the cold. “Just go lie down, Hajime.”

Casting one last worried glance over at the remaining two, Hajime relents and turns to head to his room. “Just let me know if y—” This time, it’s another coughing fit that cuts him off. Luckily, it doesn’t last long, but Tomoya, Nazuna and Mitsuru are all wearing worried expression when he looks up at them again. “E-Excuse me,” he says, voice painfully hoarse, as he leaves the three of them alone.

Luckily, the walls of the house are thin, making it easy for Hajime to pick up on any trouble. Though he does trust his friends, he still keeps his ears out for the sounds of any pots falling down, glass breaking or whatever else that could possibly go wrong.

Nazuna comes in with a cup of tea and a glass of water soon after Hajime has changed out of his uniform and settled  down in bed. He looks a little sheepish. “This probably isn’t as good as the tea you make, but we tried.”

Hajime smiles, already warmed by the gesture alone. “I’m sure it tastes fine.”

He swallows down the medicine with some water, before taking a small sip of the tea. It does taste fine, perhaps a little sweet because of too much honey, but Hajime doesn’t mind. He can imagine Mitsuru dumping as much honey in the mug as possible, claiming that it would help his throat, until Tomoya must have inevitably stopped him. It’s only an assumed scenario, but it still makes Hajime smile. “Thank you so much, niichan.”

Nazuna reaches out to gently ruffle Hajime’s hair with a smile of his own. “Don’t worry about it, Hajime-chin. Let us take care of you today, alright? We were thinking about making some rice porridge for you too, and then we’ll get started on dinner for the rest of your family. Stir-fried vegetables and meat, right?”

Hajime blinks once, twice and then a third time for good measure. Nazuna says it all like it’s nothing, like taking care of Hajime and helping him out is the most natural thing in the world. 

He’s so touched he could cry, and for a second, he can actually feel tears building up in his eyes, but he’s quick to blink them away. This time, he’ll show his friends his gratitude through words and smiles rather than tears. “Yes… we have some leftovers, plus vegetables I got on sale yesterday, so that should be good enough.” His lips form a small smile once again, a little softer this time. “Thank you so much, niichan. Let Tomoya-kun and Mitsuru-kun know that I’m grateful for their hard work too.”

Slowly but without hesitance, Nazuna leans in and plants a quick kiss on Hajime’s forehead. For a second, it looks like he’s about to say something else, but he seems to change his mind. “You still have a fever. I’ll get something to cool you down.” And with that, Nazuna leaves, giving Hajime a moment of quiet to enjoy his tea.

 

..

 

He has no idea what time it is when he wakes up next. It’s darker outside and surprisingly quiet in the house, and for a second Hajime finds himself wondering why he woke up when he still feels exhausted. 

His question is quickly answered by the sound of water and someone moving around next to his bed. Turning to the side, he finds Mitsuru sitting there, wringing a hand towel into a small container of what Hajime assumes is cold water.

“Mits—” He tries to speak, but his voice is little more than a hoarse whisper, so quiet it surprises even himself. When he tries to speak again, no sound comes out. 

Mitsuru stares at him, lips parted in surprise. “Hajime-chan, you sound awful!” 

Hajime opens his mouth to respond but his voice still refuses to cooperate. At least his throat doesn’t feel as sore as before, but this situation isn’t much better either. Even clearing his throat does nothing to solve the problem, only making him wince in pain.

Mitsuru’s eyebrows furrow in concern. “You can’t speak at all now? Maybe you should drink more tea… Oh, but the rice porridge will be done soon! There’s ginger in it and niichan said that’s good for the throat! Maybe we could put honey in it too?”

Hajime is quick to shake his head. He’d rather not add nausea to his growing list of uncomfortable symptoms. 

“Ah, okay~ Oh!” Mitsuru holds up the little towel again. “Here, this’ll help against the fever at least!” With a surprisingly gentle touch, Mitsuru brushes Hajime’s bangs out of the way, before placing the towel down on his forehead with just as much care. 

And though Hajime very much appreciates the gesture, he would have appreciated it even more if Mitsuru had wrung out the towel more. It only takes a second before he feels drops of water run down his face, into his hair, down his neck— everywhere really. And not only is it getting in his eyes too, but it also tickles .

He opens his mouth to try and say something, but oh, right, he can’t do that either. It’s tempting to just remove the towel altogether, but he doesn’t want to offend Mitsuru when he had been kind enough to do this in the first place. 

“Here’s the p— Mitsuru! I told you you have to wring out the water before putting it on him!” Luckily, Tomoya comes in as his savior. There’s the sound of something being put down on the nightstand, before Hajime feels the cloth being lifted off his face. He reaches up to gently wipe away the water in his eyes, before he slowly opens them, finding Tomoya’s concerned face mere inches away from his own. 

“Are you okay, Hajime?”

Tomoya is really really close and suddenly Hajime’s face feels all warm again, and he’s pretty sure it’s not because of the fever. 

“Hajime-chan can’t speak right now! His voice disappeared.” Mitsuru speaks up, peeking out from behind Tomoya. 

“Really?” Tomoya blinks, before leaning back again. Hajime is still unsure if Tomoya had even noticed how close they had been. 

“Hajime-chin lost his voice?” comes Nazuna’s voice from the doorway, peeking in. With all three of them there, looking so curiously and intently at Hajime, he does his best to will the blush away. At least he can blame it on the fever if they notice anything. 

“The porridge might help, right?” Tomoya asks Nazuna before looking at Hajime. “It’s the one you’ve tried at my house. With egg.” 

Despite his fever and temporary inability to speak and the headache that threatens to make a comeback, Hajime can only smile as he pushes himself up to sit. Tomoya’s cooking is always good, and though this is just a simple rice porridge, Hajime knows it’ll taste delicious— flavored with ginger and chives and love and care. 

Losing his voice isn’t that bad when he has Tomoya, Mitsuru and Nazuna to fill the silence. Even if all Hajime can do is nod and shake his head as he eats and they talk, occasionally letting out breathless giggles that make his shoulders shake, his precious unit mates make sure to include Hajime in their conversation, no matter how mundane or nonsensical they are. 

Being sick has never felt this pleasant. It doesn’t matter that they’re all in Hajime’s cramped little bedroom; Nazuna leaning on the doorframe, Mitsuru seated on the floor and Tomoya on the chair by his desk. It doesn’t matter that his head hurts and he’s tired. None of it matters when he can still feel himself smiling so genuinely, heart warm with the love he holds for these three boys, who love him just as much back.

 

..

 

Tomoya watches as Mitsuru places a wet cloth on Hajime’s forehead, making sure that it isn’t dripping with water this time. Hajime doesn’t even twitch in his sleep, mouth slightly parted as he takes calm, deep breaths. He looks relaxed, and though Tomoya is sure that a wet cloth and rice porridge can’t drive the cold away overnight, he hopes that Hajime at least feels better tomorrow. Class will be lonely without him, but if there’s anyone who deserves a few days of rest, it’s Hajime.

Mitsuru perks up as if suddenly having remembered something. Without explanation, he leans down, lifting up half the cloth before placing a quick peck on Hajime’s forehead, then placing the cloth back down. Tomoya can only watch with a slightly bewildered expression as Mitsuru gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up, as though that could explain anything.

Was that a thing now? Giving Hajime forehead kisses? Or maybe it was just a Mitsuru thing?

As if nothing had happened, Mitsuru gets up and leaves the bedroom, with Tomoya trailing behind him. 

“Hajime-chan’s asleep,” Mitsuru informs Nazuna once they’re out in the hallway, still keeping his voice low. 

Nazuna nods, already wearing his outerwear. “Good. Hopefully he’ll be able to sleep through the whole night.”

“Mhm! Hajime-chan needs lots of rest so he can get his voice back! I miss hearing it.”

“You heard it earlier today,” Tomoya says as he grabs his jacket, though he has to admit he misses Hajime’s voice as well. It’s odd leaving Hajime’s house without seeing him in the doorway, smiling and waving and telling Tomoya to have a good night and sweet dreams.

“Tomo-chin, where’s your bag?”

“Oh.” Casting a quick glance around the small hallway makes it obvious that it’s not there. “...I think I left it in Hajime’s room.”  

With quiet footsteps, Tomoya goes back into Hajime’s bedroom. The bag in question is easy to find, resting on the chair he had been sitting in earlier. And though Tomoya knows he should just grab it and leave as quickly as possible to avoid disturbing Hajime anymore, he can’t help but pause for a moment, gaze drawn to Hajime’s face once again. 

Even sick and asleep, Hajime manages to look beautiful, like a work of art or an untouched flower— an entire garden, an oasis . Even now, as his stuffy nose leaves him producing soft snores, Hajime is his oasis, beautiful and precious and… 

And…

When had their faces gotten so close?

Without meaning to, Tomoya had ended up leaning in towards Hajime, close enough to see the faintest freckles decorating Hajime’s skin. 

He feels creepy watching Hajime sleep, but for some reason he can’t bring himself to look away, not yet.

A sudden thought pops up in his mind, just like it had with Mitsuru less than five minutes ago. He looks at the cloth on Hajime’s forehead, then his lips, before his gaze quickly lands on his cheeks.

They look soft.

They… feel soft. 

It lasts only for a second, but Hajime’s cheek feels soft against Tomoya’s lips. Warm too, reminding him that Hajime is, in fact, still sick and very much in need of some undisturbed rest.

As if burned by the sudden realization of his actions, Tomoya pulls away fully, fingers resting on his lips. 

He really had kissed Hajime, huh. Just on his cheek, sure, but it had been a kiss nonetheless, an action that Tomoya can’t remember ever feeling inclined to do before this. Before meeting Hajime. And even if he were to imagine himself giving someone a kiss on the cheek again, the face that pops up in his head is gentle and soft, purple-eyed and framed by light blue hair.

Surely that must mean something, it must say something about how Tomoya feels about Hajime, but Tomoya doesn’t dare think about it. Maybe later, when he’s alone and not still standing in Hajime’s room. 

With one last glance at Hajime’s sleeping face, Tomoya scurries out of the room, trying to ignore the fact that his own face has grown hot as well.

Nazuna raises an eyebrow at him when he returns to the hallway. “Found it?”

Tomoya blinks, having nearly forgotten what Nazuna could be referring to. “The— oh, yeah. Yeah! The bag. I found it.”

Nazuna’s expression changes just enough for him to look like a parent who knows exactly what’s going on despite his kid’s best efforts to cover it up. He smiles, but says nothing about it.  “Alright then, let’s go home.”

Tomoya nods, leading the way out, as he tries not to think too hard about whether or not he’ll get to kiss Hajime like that again.

Notes:

yet another fic that ended up going in a different direction than planned!!! but uhhh conclusion: hajime deserves so many kisses

he drinks tea at some point so it still matches the prompt right??? right??????????laughs nervously

hmu on twitter @ bibibingka !