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I'm not your friend

Summary:

Erwin was happy to take part in this 'roommate' program at his school. After meeting his new roommate? He isn't so sure anymore. But with close quarters and long debates about literature comes first crushes and a lot of awkwardness.

Erwin might not survive his senior year.

Notes:

This was thrown together last minute for the roommates prompt for eruri week but it's definitely going to be a series because I have a lot of ideas for it. Feel free to let me know if I'm missing any tags.

Also can you tell I have some strong opinions about the Great Gatsby?

Work Text:

Erwin had been rather shocked by the school’s decision to try this new roommate program. Taking their ‘problem’ students and rooming them with their star students. And of course, Erwin had been eager to try it. He was shocked, yes, but he thought it was a rather solid system. The idea of helping someone else, the idea of helping guide someone into a better life? It sounded wonderful. The students being put into the program were known for skipping classes, getting into trouble. And Erwin knew that the only thing most people needed to be better is someone who believed they could be better. Someone who genuinely thought that they could reach their potential. 

That’s what Erwin was thinking as he paced his dorm room, waiting for his new roommate to arrive. When there was a brief knock at the door, Erwin jerked to face it, standing straight and wondering, briefly, what to do with his hands. 

The boy who opened the door was somehow everything Erwin had expected while also being absolutely nothing he could have ever planned for. He was small, but absolutely nothing about him seemed fragile or weak. Almost delicate features hidden behind piercings and a scowl, grey eyes sharp and alert. The strap of the backpack that was over his shoulder was covered in pins and buttons, though Erwin couldn’t get a good look at them. He was...well. Erwin couldn’t deny that he was beautiful, in an edgy way. The same way a cemetery was beautiful. Dangerous, mysterious, but drawing you in. Just begging to be appreciated. 

“Erwin, this is Levi.” The guidance counselor - Pixis, the only counselor Erwin had met who actively encouraged students not to call him ‘Mr.’ anything. - who had brought the boy in said. “Levi, Erwin.” 

Levi’s scowl deepened, and he jerked away from Pixis as he went to the clearly unclaimed bed. Erwin swallowed thickly, suddenly wondering if perhaps his optimism from minutes before had been misplaced. Pixis turned to watch him. 

“Erwin is one of our star pupils. He leads the debate team and is the current captain of the varsity football team. He-” Levi turned, harshly, to face Pixis.

“If all you’re going to do is rant about how he’s so much better than me, you can save it.” He said, and Erwin was struck by his voice. Deep and just as sharp as his eyes. Pixis quirked a brow, looking more amused than anything.

“He’s here to help you, Levi. You’ve got one last chance and he’s it. Use it wisely, won’t you?” Pixis offered a little smile, then turned towards Erwin. “Levi’s a junior, and he has a few of the same classes you had last year. I trust you’ll be a good influence on him.”

Erwin nodded his head once, and watched as Pixis left the room. Erwin was left standing there, suddenly unsure of what he was supposed to do. Levi clearly didn’t want to be here, if the way he was still standing beside the bed and glaring at the door said anything. Erwin shifted his weight a bit, wracking his brain for something - anything - to say. He watched as Levi huffed and tore his hoodie off, throwing it at the bed, and Erwin saw tattoos on his arms. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Erwin began, but he was cut off when Levi glowered at him.

“I’m not your friend.” He said, voice flat and just barely tinted with the anger that was clear in his eyes. “I’m not here because I believe you’ll change my life or some shit. I’m here because it was this or get expelled. Don’t act like you want to be my friend or like you think this is anything other than something good to add to your college applications, alright golden boy?” 

Erwin blinked a few times, not quite sure if he was shocked or not. He opened his mouth to say something, then when he found he had nothing to say, closed it again and nodded once. Levi watched him for another moment, then turned to flop down onto the bed. He curled up on his side, back to Erwin, and he looked too small. 

The optimism Erwin had been feeling certainly seemed misplaced, now. 

 


 

For two weeks, Erwin didn’t get so much as a ‘hello’ from Levi. He had tried, a few times, to strike up conversation. At first, Levi had flat out ignored him. Then, had shifted to offering him unimpressed or annoyed looks before returning to whatever he was doing. Aside from his refusal to speak, though, Levi was a rather considerate roommate. He kept his side of the room neat and clean, he didn’t touch any of Erwin’s things. He used his headphones when listening to his music and over all was really nothing like Erwin had expected. 

And over those two weeks, Erwin had learned a few small things about him despite Levi not talking to him. He knew Levi was a musician, writing his own music in a beat up  notebook he always put away as soon as Erwin came back into the room, placed carefully in the bottom drawer of his desk. He knew Levi didn’t sleep well or often, but when he did he liked to be buried in his blankets. He was a smoker, and those pins that Erwin had seen on his backpack were mostly pride pins, as well as a few referencing bands Erwin had never heard of. And the longer Levi went without talking to him, the more Erwin wanted to get to know him. 

Things shifted when Erwin entered their bedroom after class, one day, exactly sixteen days since school started and they had been put in their shared dorm room. He closed the door quietly, glancing at Levi where he was lounged on his bed with a book in his lap. Erwin went to greet him, then let out a breath and decided against it. Instead, he settled down at his desk, starting on pulling his school work from his bag.

It happened by chance, really. He happened to be facing Levi’s bed as Levi shifted his position and Erwin saw the cover of the book he was reading. He paused, chewing at his lip. Then, his eyes flicked over to Levi’s backpack in the corner, to the pride pins covering it. Rainbows and every variation of ‘i like boys’ covering the bag. 

“Do you think he was in love with Gatsby?” Erwin blurted out before he could think about it. 

And that got Levi’s attention. Levi tensed, then lifted his head slowly to look at Erwin. He blinked, face quickly falling back into an impassive expression. He was silent for a long moment, the air around them felt heavy and Erwin couldn’t breathe.

“What?” He finally said. And considering it was more than Erwin had gotten since they first met, he counted it as a win.

“Nick.” Erwin clarified, gesturing to the book still in Levi’s hands. He seemed to be about halfway through it. “Do you think he was in love with Gatsby?”

Again, it was quiet for a long moment, Levi regarding Erwin almost suspiciously. For a few seconds, Erwin was certain Levi was going to go back to ignoring him. But, Levi slowly dogeared his page and set the book down as he sat up straighter. Erwin couldn’t exactly explain why, but he felt his heart leap in his chest when he realized Levi was offering him his full attention. 

“Dude was head over heels.” Levi finally answered, talking slowly. Still unsure and a little suspicious. Erwin couldn’t help but smile.

“He wasn’t very subtle, was he?” He asked, shaking his head. “I’m still shocked there are people who are convinced he didn’t sleep with the guy from the elevator.” 

And that got a reaction Erwin hadn’t been expecting. Levi’s eyes lit up with a fire, blazing out of control as he sat up straighter and threw a hand up in a gesture that Erwin was pretty sure was supposed to be agreement. 

“It wasn’t even thinly veiled!” He demanded, more emotion in his voice than Erwin had heard, yet. “He could remember everything else perfectly, the whole night in full detail, but once he gets into the elevator with some intense sexual tension, he’s too drunk to remember anything but wakes up in the guy’s apartment in his underwear? Bull shit.” 

“The explanation had always seemed like denial to me.” Erwin agreed, turning slightly in his chair so he was facing Levi more fully.

“He’s a textbook example of an unreliable narrator.” Levi said. “He can’t be trusted. It’s all his version of events, sure, but his version isn’t at all as unbiased as he likes to say it is. And that’s part of why that scene was so goddamn important. That whole night was given to us in that much detail on purpose, because it made it more obvious that him ‘not remembering’ the rest of the night was complete and utter bullshit. The entire point of it was to drive home that something he didn’t want to admit to happened.” 

Erwin couldn’t help his smile. This...wasn’t what he had expected. He hadn’t expected such a passionate, educated dissection of the writing. Perhaps not the most articulate explanation of the whole thing, but Levi clearly understood what he was talking about. And he clearly was very much invested in it, had very strong opinions on the matter. It made Erwin’s chest tighten up and his heart pound against his ribcage. 

“So what’s your opinion on Jordan and her relationship with Nick, then?” Erwin asked, unable to keep the grin off his face. That fire in Levi’s eyes just burned brighter, and when he leaned forward, butterflies erupted in Erwin’s stomach. 

Four hours later, Erwin hadn’t gotten any of his schoolwork done, but he had learned a fair amount about Levi. He learned that Levi liked to read, that his English class was the only one he went to regularly. He learned that Levi could dissect and examine literature and was amazingly articulate as he did so. Sure, he had some colorful language and used over the top metaphors, but he was so obviously educated in what he was saying and knew exactly what he was trying to get across. He learned that Levi loathed small talk but was content to spend hours on a good debate with someone who knew what they were talking about. He learned that Levi hated math, despite being very good at it, and that he had been thrown into this roommate program after punching one of his teachers.

They ended up on their own beds, backs to the wall as they faced each other from across the room. Erwin with his homework in his lap and Levi absently strumming a melody on his beat up guitar. The silence stretched on for a few minutes, really the first break in conversation they’d had in the past four hours. Then Erwin lifted his gaze to watch Levi again.

“Why did you hit him?” He asked quietly. Levi’s hands didn’t falter on the guitar.

“Because he was a fucking creep.” He answered simply, clearly having expected the question. He raised a brow, something like vague amusement lighting up on his face. “You never met someone who deserved a good punch to the face, golden boy?”

“A few. But I’ve never actually done it.” Erwin answered, looking back down at the homework he had still not started. He pressed his lips together, debating asking what happened to make Levi that angry. But something about the answer he’d been given told him that he wasn’t going to get anything more in the way of explanation.

After a few minutes of relatively comfortable silence, Erwin heard Levi set his guitar down. Erwin’s head lifted up, watching Levi as he began tugging his shoes on. Erwin’s brows furrowed a bit, and he glanced at his watch. 

“Curfew is in twenty minutes.” He said, and Levi snorted a laugh. 

“Yeah, and?” Levi smirked, raising a brow as he watched Erwin. “You down for breaking some rules, Golden boy?” 

Erwin spent a few seconds just looking at Levi, feeling his brain screech to a halt. Had he ever actually broken any rules? As a child, he was sure. Small things, like staying up late or trying to sneak extra candy. But nothing since he’d gotten to highschool. He tried to be a good student, tried not to do anything that might reflect badly on his father. But Levi had a gravitational pull to him, something that made Erwin want to reach out, to learn who he was and why he did the things he did. And the past few hours talking about literature and hypothetical sciences certainly hadn’t made him any less interesting. 

“Hey, it’s fine if you don’t want to.” Levi’s voice broke through Erwin’s haze, and Erwin refocused on him. He seemed genuine, now standing as he shrugged his sweater on. But something about being told he could say not made him not want to. 

Erwin just continued gaping at Levi, watching him shove a pack of cigarettes and a lighter into his pocket. Watching as he typed out a message on his phone and shoved that into a pocket, as well. When Levi’s hand touched the doorknob, Erwin felt his heart jump into his throat as he scrambled gracelessly to his feet.

“Wait-” He began, wincing when he knocked his school books and papers to the floor. 

Something strange happened, then. Levi turned to face him, and Erwin - on his hands and knees trying to gather up his things again - was left looking up at him. And it was an odd position to be in. Erwin was a good bit taller than Levi, and have never had to tilt his head back to look at him. And the way Levi looked at him, it made Erwin’s chest tighten and his stomach churn in a surprisingly pleasant way. Made liquid fire pour into his veins in a way he had never really experienced before and he couldn’t figure out what it actually meant. 

Levi smirked at him - and Erwin didn’t want to focus on why that made him feel even more dizzy - and stepped closer. He offered a hand, and dragged Erwin up to his feet when he took the proffered hand. 

“C’mon, loser.” He said. 

Erwin couldn’t help but smile.

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