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Calling the August heat beyond unbearable was an understatement. The late afternoon sun was beating down on the apartment, turning it into a literal oven. Icarus lay sprawled on the sofa, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. The glass of freshly squeezed lemonade that sat undisturbed on the coffee table was now warmed up, and by the looks of it, the ice that was just there a minute ago had shrunk into nothing. The hero sat up and groaned at his misfortune, utterly drenched. Even his powers offered no solace from this infernal heat, wisps of psionic energy briefly sparking to life before being fizzled out of existence. Turning on the little fan he had borrowed from M’gann the previous week, he laid back down on the couch, stewing over the current predicament.
Here he was, alone, in one hundred degree heat being baked like a potato, and regretting not signing up for that beach trip the Team had gone off to earlier in the day. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he grabbed his phone and checked it over in case somebody decided to check on him. It had been a while since the others had left, so he was sure he had gotten plenty of texts and missed calls the past couple of hours. And he was right. A smile crept up on Icarus’s face as soon as it started pinging with a stream of new messages. Artemis, Aqualad and M’gann had all tried to get in contact with him, with the young Martian sending approximately a hundred texts in the last hour alone. Making sure to send each of them a satisfactory reply, Icarus headed into the kitchen to munch on the chocolate chip cookies she had dropped by before leaving for the trip.
He was glad he had friends he could rely on, especially M’gann. The last year hadn’t been kind to them, to the entire team no less, and so Icarus took it upon himself to be the young Martian’s crutch during this time of crisis, who was also pleased to return the favor. Everybody was still reeling from Wally’s recent passing, especially Dick and even more so Artemis, the poor girl. They really deserved a break after all that’s happened.
Mentally pinching himself to snap out of his sordid thoughts, Icarus suddenly felt stupid for not shooting Dick a text the last few months. He was aware the young hero had likely gone under the radar since the whole incident, but it was still best friends’ policy to check on him.
Right?
Or maybe it would better to call and invite him over. Yeah, that might be a better idea. Keyword: might.
Putting Dick’s number on speed-dial, he lifted the phone to his ear, waiting eagerly for the other man’s voice to filter through. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous.
“Grayson.” A voice on the other line answered, sounding a bit groggy and a little on the somber side.
As soon as Icarus heard the familiar voice, all traces of nervousness went out the window. “Hey, Richard.”
“Chris.” Dick simply said, sounding pleasantly surprised. “I wasn’t expecting any calls from anyone today. I thought you were with the gang?”
“No. I guess I fucked up at the last minute. I ended up not going.” Chris sighed, shaking his head as he laid back on the couch. “I kinda regret that decision now, though.”
“Oh, I see.” Dick continued with the straight-to-the-point business tone of voice, “So, did you need something?”
Chris was speechless for a moment, suddenly finding the loose flyers, papers and the unpaid electrical bills sitting on the table more interesting. He was zoning out again, focus!
“Your company would be welcome, I think. Plus, it'd be nice to have you around!” He blurted out loud before he noticed that that sounded slightly desperate. Good going, dumbass. “I don’t think I should be alone right now.”
He swore he could hear Dick chuckling at the other end of the line, that bastard, “Alright. Didn’t think this would all be one big setup for a booty call, Chrissy."
“Wait... what?” Chris blushed. He could feel his face heat up at Dick’s joke, or at least he hoped the younger man was joking. “N-no, no it isn’t. I just thought maybe you needed some company after everything that’s happened and all.”
“I got you, I got you.” More chuckling from Dick on the other end, but it ended up dying as soon as he mentioned the events of the last few months. “I’m just playing with you, Chris. I should be down to hang today. No rest for the wicked, but I always have time for you.”
“’Course! I’ll have to clean up the apartment first, though.” Chris nervously laughed at the sentiment, scratching the back of his neck. Thank God for that.
“Hey, maybe I could help with that!” Dick offered, making the extra effort to sound a bit more jovial now. The older hero noticed the change of tone in his voice and hearing it made him crack a boyish grin. Chris’s smile soon morphed into joyous laughter, “That would be great! I sure could use the god-tier organizational skills of the Boy Wonder right about now.”
“First of all, I go by Nightwing now, you doofus. How many times do I have to tell you that?!” Dick retorted, the incredulous tone of his voice reverberating through the line. “And on top of that, Bruce can suck it! You know there’s a reason why I even left him in the first place, right?”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down there, Nightwing. Don’t want to piss off Papa Bats with that kind of language. What if he’s listening in on our little phone call?” Chris teased, amused at how much Dick got so riled up every time he refused to call him by that name.
The young hero groaned at the little quip, “Fine, fine! I’ll be there in 30.”
“See you then, squirt!” Chris laughed some more.
And then silence.
==== 30 minutes later ====
Having quickly taken a shower, and a super cold one at that, Chris started to get dressed in some fresh new clothes. Since it was basically scorching in the apartment, he decided to wear a plain old tee and a pair of red basketball shorts. The hero decided to also style his dark hair a little bit, combing it out into a trendy middle part, the curtained strands sitting on his forehead at just the right angles. Feeling better immediately as he looked into the mirror, the hero walked back into the living room and took a swig from his new glass of lemonade.
He decided to get a head start on cleaning up the apartment as he waited for Dick, not wanting to dump most of the work on the poor guy. Empty beer bottles, old pizza boxes and loose packets of hot sauce and ranch lay sprawled on the living room floor, making it look like some bizarre piece out of a modern art museum. If Destiny, an old friend of his, were here, she would’ve definitely slapped him upside the head for this. The kitchen fared no better either, all the dirty dishes having gradually piled up in the sink over the course of the last week. Superhero work was serious business, what could he say? And due to that, Chris found himself having less and less time to do the chores.
Suddenly, a knock echoed from the living room.
“That must be Dick.” He wondered aloud, making his way towards the door.
Opening it, he was welcomed by the sight of the man, the myth, the legend himself. Dick Grayson was wearing an oversized tank top and a pair of blue basketball shorts. His usual pair of shades sat squarely on his well-chiseled face, concealing his eyes but it sure did a terrible job at hiding the devious smirk sitting on his face. Needless to say, the dude was prepared for the summer alright. And he looked great.
“Hey, Robin Hood! You’re looking sharp.” Chris perked up, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. He felt his lips curve into a smile at the sight of Dick.
“I told you not to call me that, Chris.” Dick simply stated, sounding a bit annoyed but entertained at the very least, “Sweet place you got here by the way.”
“I appreciate the compliment, good sir.” The older hero joked, dramatically bowing before gesturing him to come in.
“Jesus, who trashed this place?” Dick remarked, making sure to avoid the scattered things on the floor as he walked into the apartment. His eyes wandered around the place as if picking it apart through and through to the bone.
Chris laughed timidly at his observation, goddamn Robins and their keen eyesight, “Well... it’s mostly on me. Between doing superhero work and working at the library down the street, I haven’t had much time to do the chores.”
“Fair enough. I haven’t done much cleaning of my own place too, so I guess we’re on the same boat there.” Dick chortled, as he began to pick up after the older hero.
The silence that followed was more than welcome. It helped Chris process some things as he started to dispose of the empty pizza boxes and party cups into the garbage bags Dick graciously supplied them with. One thing was for certain, the Boy Wonder had grown up. It felt like only yesterday that he was the impetuous ten-year-old kid he had to practically babysit when he worked closely with Bruce during his days living in Gotham City.
The Boy Wonder soon grew on him though, quickly becoming good friends with the kid, as Chris rarely had any. He grinned at the memories, thinking over the times when he would help a young Dick play pranks on both Bruce and Alfred at the Wayne Manor, noting that most of them were a major success. Their weekend trips to the pizzeria over in Happy Harbour with the entire gang and Captain Marvel, who strongly insisted to be their “adult” chaperone despite being the only, truly, adult hero present was also something he had missed dearly.
And now, the kid he knew for so long grew to become a responsible, mature young man. Nine years have passed and the wear of time was noticeable in the way Dick looked and did certain things. He was surer with himself, more confident in his skills as Nightwing, and more independent now that the glory of adolescence faded away. He was still his cheeky little self, but the stuff with Wally and being an independent crime fighter over in Blüdhaven obviously took a toll on his person. Being a hero and saving the world and its denizens 'round the clock just did that to you.
The older hero knew the feeling all too well. Time hadn’t been the kindest to him either despite being able to live for this long. Ever since he had been “touched” by the Lexicon and the spirit it held centuries ago and being granted immortality and powers a mortal man could only dream of, his life just wasn’t the same anymore. Sure, it allowed him to see more of the world and experience more things a regular person couldn’t in a single lifetime, yet nothing seemed to fill the void it left him. He had to learn to cope and be at peace with the lot he was given by fate, which proved to be a tremendous task, having had to process the loss of so many loved ones for so long. And eventually, with that stunning realization, in time he’d lose Dick and the others too.
“-ou alright?” The younger hero asked, a look of genuine concern flitting across his face. The sunglasses that hid his blue eyes were raised, Chris seeing them in their full glory.
“What?” He asked, before realizing that he had started crying in front of Dick.
“I was asking if you were alright, dude. Are you crying?” The younger man pressed, who stopped everything he was doing just to see if he was okay. It touched Chris, making his heart ache even more. He was totally going to miss the guy.
The immortal shook his head vigorously, grabbing the nearby mop to deflect Dick's sudden attention, “No, no. I’m fine. Trust me, I’m just peachy!”
Unbeknownst to him, however, Dick wasn’t even close to being convinced, being the student of Batman sharpened your wits and made you more alert to a person’s every action, it seemed. That or Chris was just an awful liar. Rather than pressing him for an answer, the younger man decided to just let it be for now.
“Hey Dick, want to listen to some music while we finish up here?” Chris asked, trying to shift the conversation forward. He sure as hell didn’t want to come across as a drama queen to the kid.
“Sure. That sounds like a good idea, Chris.” Dick nodded, a small smile on his face, “I wanna know the songs you listen to. We’ve barely spent enough time with each other anyway, and this might be a good time to bond over music while cleaning.”
Chris nodded as he wiped the stray tears from his face, letting the mop rest against the wall as he began to fumble with the stereo. “Gee, well, it sure means a lot hearing you say that. It’ll be like old times, huh?”
The smile never left Dick’s face. “Like old times.”
Before the both of them knew it, the music started to play. It was a simple, upbeat song with a carefree beat to it. The older hero started to dance along, humming along to the melody as he gracefully mopped the living room floor. Dick looked endearingly at Chris, who completely missed his expression of longing as the other man was completely absorbed in his work. His blue eyes flitted to the flat-screen TV, which had the typical Spotify logo on it along with the cover art for the song.
"'Hillside Boys' by Kim Petras? M'gann totally got you hooked onto this stuff, hasn't she?" Dick inquired as he tidied up the cluttered coffee table.
"Pfft, you Philistine!" Chris exclaimed, slightly insulted by Dick's unfamiliarity with the artist. "Kim Petras is the one, the only, and an absolute goddess of a singer these days. She's totally going to change the face of music this year, I just know it."
The former Robin shook his head, amused at Chris's sheer admiration for the woman. "You don't know music until you've listened to some Slipknot or some Linkin' Park. 'In the End' is a classic!"
"Well, I'm always open to other peoples' tastes and preferences." The other man fished the remote and offered it to Dick, who gladly took it like a kid who just got a Christmas present. "Feel free to change the music, if you want, Rob."
"You got it, boss." Giving Chris his signature smirk, Dick jumped onto the couch before pilfering every available playlist on the app, earning him an annoyed grumbled from the other man. This should be interesting.
After an hour and half of vibing with the music and cleaning, Chris began to talk and make conversation again, but not before shaking off the feeling of butterflies in his stomach.
“So, what’s life been like in Blüdhaven for you? I heard crime rates are at an all-time high there.”Chris inquired as he washed the dishes.
“Well, it’s been a hassle, I’ll give you that much," Dick explained while helping dry the dishes. "It’s your usual stuff; bank robberies, stolen purses, Joker lackeys. Could use more action but, as I said, there’s no rest for the wicked.”
“You got that right, my man. At least you're helping people.” The immortal agreed, a half-smile sitting on his face.
“Now, it’s my turn to ask questions,” Dick smirked, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Are you with anyone?”
Chris suddenly stopped what he was doing as soon as he heard the question. His face started to heat up, scratching the back of his neck out of instinct. He wasn’t one to talk about, or even consider, relationships. Hell, somebody that was even remotely interested in the affairs of love. An “old geezer” like himself had given up on entertaining the idea long ago, especially for someone who’s lived for as long as he did. Simply put, nothing ever lasted for your typical immortal. Your life tended to be a self-repeating tragedy in itself, a curse.
“No, I’m not. And I don’t plan on getting with anyone anytime soon.” Chris simply stated, not wanting to elaborate further on the question. On the contrary, his interest was piqued, tempting him to open up, to be vulnerable. Another realization came and went, one which reminded Chris that he had been cooped up for so long. The older hero didn't want to acknowledge the facts but he knew all too well he craved intimacy. Was this his only sure chance at that?
“Dude, that’s a real shame. Do you really want that pretty face to go to waste?” Dick asked nonchalantly as if that wasn’t such a bombshell statement.
Chris looked at him with an unbelieving gaze, rolling his brown eyes at the compliment. “Pfft, pretty? Don’t test your luck with me, Robin Hood.”
“W-Well, you are... right?” Dick stuttered, now noticing what he had just said about his friend.
“To be honest, nobody’s really complimented me like that before, at least in recent memory.” The older hero confessed, scrubbing the plate he held onto for what felt like an eternity. At this rate, he might as well have scrubbed a hole straight through it. Chris paused for a moment, taking the time to process the feeling. “But... I think you’re pretty, too, Dick.”
The other man turned red, a bashful smile gracing his face, as soon as Chris turned to him. Both men didn’t know what to do, only sit there in silence, ruminating on each other’s faces with these bombshell confessions still fresh in their mind. He didn’t know what to make of it, expecting Dick to go all out with the wooing like with the girls, but no. The young hero was a nervous wreck.
“I'm sorry. At this point, I should just shut up since I'm not helping your case at all.” Chris couldn’t help but chuckle at the face the former Robin was making, feeling absolute pity for him.
“No, no!” Dick said, waving both his hands vigorously, “You didn’t do anything wrong, man. It was my fault to even ask in the first place.”
The older hero shrugged, refusing to allow Dick to be in the wrong, “You were just curious, that's all. Don't sweat it, kid.”
The silence between them became deafening, only staved off by the constant sound of music from the living room and the running water. Chris really hadn’t thought of his feelings, especially for someone like Dick. It wasn’t something he had even thought of before obviously, but now he sure was, and it consumed him. The older hero never really had any experience when it came to the affairs of the heart, his long-dead lover Gaspard a noted exception, but this was different. It didn't feel like a short-term, purely sexual attraction and it sure as hell didn't feel like the typical summer fling people their age often threw themselves at. It felt... genuine, real. And that terrified Chris.
As if by pure coincidence, Dick spoke up and with confidence this time. “You know, I’ve had some time to contemplate over the last couple of months. With Wally's passing and everything else that’s going on, I found myself thinking about you more.”
Chris shot him an earnest look, letting the other man know he was all ears. He knew he wasn't ready for what the Boy Wonder had to say, and so, he silently prepared himself for the worst.
“You don’t have to be alone anymore, Chris. I think you’re an awesome guy, someone that I’ve always looked up to, hell, even liked for so long, since I was what? Thirteen?” Dick mused, completely speaking what his heart had been telling him this whole time.
“I don’t understand...” Chris felt winded, confounded at the younger man’s confession. “I thought you and Barbara were together? What happened to that girl?”
“It was all to get your attention,” Dick said, his final word absolute and full of desire.
“I don’t know what to say, Dick.” His mouth slightly agape as those words left his lips.
“You don’t have to say anything, Chrissy.” The younger man gently took his wrist, turning the water off so they can share this moment with each other. His blue eyes bore into Chris’s, letting the other man know exactly what he wanted. Dick’s free hand cupped the other man’s cheek, caressing it with deep affection.
“Is that why you’ve always gone all out with the Christmas presents the past couple of years?” Chris asked in disbelief, his mouth going dry at Dick’s soft touch, “The flat-screen TV, that old Nintendo-64 you got from eBay, that leather suit made by Bruce's drones down at Wayne Enterprise? Which, by the way, thank you for that.”
“Yeah...” Dick weakly confessed, scratching the back of his neck. “I really like you, Chris. And I want to be more than friends, take our relationship to the next level.”
The older hero slowly lowered the dish back in the sink. Taking a deep breath, he looked shakily at the younger man, his eyes filled with raw emotion and tears. “Dick, you can’t be with someone like me. As much as I’d want to give a relationship between us a try, it just wouldn’t work out in the end.”
“What do you mean?” Dick asked, a bit hurt at the other man’s rebuttal. “Is it because of the fact that you’ll outlive me? Because I don’t care about that!”
“But I do.” Chris steeled his eyes, completely serious but hot tears ready to spill betrayed him nonetheless. “Dick, don’t you realize the people that I’ve had, that I’ve ever cared for in my life, are all gone? Nothing in this world lasts for someone like me.”
“Not us.” Dick retorted, his eyes returning the same look but with what seemed like passion, the flame of perseverance. “Not the team, not the League and most of all, not me. I’m still here, Chris!”
“But you’ll be gone.” The immortal sadly shook his head, not wanting to disappoint the younger man who was obviously trying to delay the inevitable. “Not now, not tomorrow, but soon. And I’ll have to live with the fact that I’ll never get to see you again.”
“Can’t you ask that friend of yours? What was his name?” Dick inquired, desperation tinging his voice. The former Robin’s grip on Chris’s wrist tightened. “Apollo? You know he can’t keep you like this forever.”
As much as Chris wanted Dick to be right and to finally have the ability to relinquish his immortality, he knew that bargaining with the ancient god was for naught. Apollo was, by all means, a benevolent spirit but a stubborn creature no less, obviously used to getting what he wants as a deity of great renown and all. And on top of that, angering him by renouncing his gift of eternal life was the last thing on the hero’s bucket list, knowing full well the wrath of the god he was bound to was terrible and absolute.
“I know, Richard." Chris murmured, placing his hand over the younger man’s, who was clearly shuddering from all the emotions he was feeling. The immortal felt pity for him. The former Robin already had a lot on his plate, and he sure as hell didn’t deserve this right now. “I can’t guarantee my success but I promise I’ll try, for us.”
“Good.” The rogue hero simply said, resting his head on Chris’s shoulder as they embraced without a care about the heat.
Neither of them knew, however, that this would be the last time they'd be in each other's arms for a long time. As fate was a cruel mistress, she had other plans laid elsewhere for the immortal hero. Just as the Icarus of legend defied the very gods and paid heavily for his transgressions, this could only end in tragedy.
Chris sorely wished he were wrong.