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Whenever Roman wants to settle something, it’s usually by challenging them to a duel.
Logan steals the last jar of crofters? Duel.
His bro replaces all his underwear with a dead whale carcass? Duel.
Patton hogs the TV for too long? It’ll be tough on the guy, but they’re dueling.
Whenever he suggests a battle to the death, he usually gets his way. (Logan shook his head but said that next time he would just buy more, Remus just laughed at him and put things back how they were, and Patton almost burst into tears, the poor thing).
So it surprises Roman when Virgil actually agrees to duel when he found that he too had feelings for Deceit. In all honesty, he assumed that Virgil would just… Cave in, y’know? Hide away in his room and let Roman be the snake charmer all he wants.
But no, instead Virgil is gearing up with a sword he can barely lift and glaring at Roman with the fury of a thousand suns.
Roman stands up a little straighter. Sure, he has the strength of a great typhoon by his side, but he doesn’t know if he can match Virgil’s sheer willpower. It doesn’t help that his entire knowledge of duels is from the musical Hamilton. And since they’re not even using guns…
Shit, Virgil’s looking at him. Act natural.
“You scared, Princey?” Virgil smirks at him from across the plane of existence he conjured. “Or is that just your normal face?”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Roman glares.
“I would actually. You know how much effort it takes to put on this damn armour?” He motions to the chainmail he’s donned. It’s spray-painted black, but some of it is flaking off.
“You know, you’d save yourself a lot of pain if you just relinquished your claim!” Roman huffs.
“You don’t even know him!” Virgil holds the sword up to his chin, swaying slightly under the weight. “When do you ever hang out with the other sides besides to just yell at your brother?”
“That’s rich. Last time I checked you two hated each other.” Roman raises his sword in tandem, holding it close to Virgil’s throat. “Does the brooding act ever actually work, or were you planning on winning him over by looking like a depressed panda?”
“Oh that is IT, Princey-”
“You two better have a good explanation for this.”
Deceit, for his part, doesn’t seem that surprised. He glares at the two of them and snatches their swords away, another two arms crossed over his chest. He taps his foot impatiently. “Well?”
In an instant, the facade Roman created washes away in, leaving him and Virgil standing in Roman’s room with horror-stricken faces. They look to each other, both turning a dark shade of red.
Virgil gulps. It’s deafening in the silence. “How did you-?”
“I’m self-preservation. You think I wouldn’t notice your little playfight?” He places the swords down on the ground and sighs. “Seriously, what is all this? What exactly is worth risking your safety?”
Roman points at Virgil. “Virgil started it!”
“What?” Virgil whips his head around and glares at Roman. “You’re the one that got jealous!”
“There’s nothing to be jealous of,” Roman says indignantly. “I just told you to back off because it’s hard to ask Deceit on a date with you leering over him like a prized ham-”
“LEERING?”
Deceit walks up to them and paces two of his hands on their shoulders. When he speaks, it’s soft. “You were fighting over me?”
Virgil winces. “No?”
“You literally had swords at each other’s throats,” Deceit deadpans. “I just… I don’t understand. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“We didn’t want you to have to choose. It seemed… Like an unfair burden.” Roman won’t look at either of them now, his eyes glued to the floor.
Deceit frowns. “Who said I was choosing?
Virgil huffs a pained laugh. “Did we put you off that much?” His voice is a little croaky.
Instead of answering, Deceit presses a light kiss to Virgil’s forehead, making him suck in a shaky breath.
Roman sinks in defeat. Of course he’d never be good enough-
And then Deceit brushes Roman’s hair away from his forehead and grazes his lips there. For a moment, time stops and Roman can hardly believe what’s happening.
Deceit pulls back far too soon, but he’s beaming at both of them. “I loved that you didn’t even consider my opinion. That totally didn’t get in the way or anything.”
Virgil, honest to God, giggles. “We’ll tell you next time.”
“Good.” Deceit squeezes Virgil’s shoulder and gives him a warm smile.
Roman nudges Deceit in the side. “Don’t think this means I’ll stop dueling people just because you decided to play civil serpent.”
“Of course, dear.” When Deceit grins at Roman, he swears that his heart stops beating. “As long as you let me take care of you afterward.”