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I felt empty. Drained of all emotions. Everything dried out like the tear stains on my face. I could recognize that my breathing was still halting somewhat but not as bad as it had been. It had been an intense, but thankfully, brief panic attack.
“Are you alright?”
It was a bit startling to feel a hand at my cheek, and I jumped a little before I registered Lucien’s timbre. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, really? You’re fine and those tear stains on your face mean nothing?” He gently ran a thumb across my cheek. “Did someone upset you?” His voice remained light, but his eyes darkened slightly.
I let out a sigh and placed a hand on top of his, causing the movements of his thumb to pause. “The only person who upset me was myself.” I felt so old with those words. Like I had just walked away from some terrible accident but was trying to make the most out of it.
He tilted his head, his too smart eyes on me, “You had a panic attack.”
I let out a slight laugh. “Got it in one.”
He smiled slightly and his voice went into teacher mode. “Most people only have one or two panic attacks in their lifetime. However,” he brought a hand up with a raised finger, “some people are more prone to them than others. Often times, it can be a case of genetics.” He gave me a smile. “Other than that, people who are going through intense stress are more prone to them. Along with people who are more sensitive to negative emotions and situations.” His eyes grew a little bit distant as he started his next sentence, “Those who have also experienced traumatic incidents early in life are also more prone to suffer from panic attacks.”
I let out a tired huff and leaned into his hand, my eyes closing for a long moment, “You’re a wealth of information. We’re always lucky to have you as a guest on our shows.”
He made a humming noise before I felt him move closer. “But really, if there is something that caused it, you should let me know. That way I can help you avoid it. Also, you could probably assign someone to do your running around for you today. After having that panic attack, you must be tired. We’ve filmed most of the scenes we’ve needed to. You can afford to take a rest.”
I opened my eyes to protest but stopped short at the soft look in Lucien’s eyes. “Are you sure? I mean--”
He gave me a little laugh and pulled his hand back to give me a light boop to the nose, “You should have more faith in your subordinates. I know that I wasn’t the only one who noticed, and I am sure that your friends would be more than willing to help cover for you.”
I looked over to where Anna was standing to see her quickly look away before starting to help Kiki with getting things in order with the rest of the crew. “Okay. You’re right.”
He gave me a slight smile. “That was easier than usual. Most of the time, you’re more stubborn.”
“Ouch.” I rested a hand over my heart. “You’ve wounded me.”
He tilted his head with a wider smile. “Oh no. If I’ve wounded you so with my words, I’ll have to do something to make you feel better. Do you want to go out to eat with me once we wrap this shoot?”
I hummed like I was thinking it over before I gave him a smile. “I would love to.”
“Wonderful!” Lucien looked away as his name was called. “Looks like that’s my cue.” He started to walk away before pausing to look back at me with something unreadable in his eyes. “Whatever caused that, I hope that you trust me enough to tell me. If not now, one day.”
I waved my hand with a tired but fond smile, “It’s just stress. I got so much to do, but…” I trailed off as I tried to pull my mind away from those thoughts. I made a noise of muffled surprise as something suddenly pressed against my lips.
“Hold that thought for later? And relax. Things will be fine. I promise you.” He spoke the words with such conviction that I couldn’t help but believe him.
I gave him a smile as he pulled his finger away and walked away. If Lucien said that things would be fine then I was sure that things would be.