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It's no secret that back in the good ole' days, Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes were the best of friends. Scratch that, the two boys were more like brothers. Sure, they fought like animals but at the end of the day Bucky would die for Steve and Steve for Bucky.
The two brothers loved each other dearly but fought over the simplest things. Unfortunately, men and women happened to be one of them. It all started with a joint crush on a very beautiful, very unique woman named Peggy. Bucky had loved her first, naturally, as Steve wasn't always the super-soldier he ended up being, but at the end of the day, Peggy chose Steve.
And Bucky tried his hardest to be okay with that, really, he did.
And then there was the war. And HYDRA. And Steve plunging into icy waters in his normal, idiotic self-sacrificial manner. And so none of that ended up mattering. And then Bucky came back.
- - - - - -
Contrary to what people usually think, Tony is a relatively understanding person. Sure, he's stubborn and a bit self-centered at times, but if someone he loves is hurting or needs something from him, he won't hesitate to do it. So when Steve found out Bucky was alive, Tony understood when he wanted to find his long, lost brother.
And when Bucky came back after finally regaining control over his own mind, Tony understood that he wasn't the same person he was in the 40s even if Steve didn't.
Deep down, Steve knew that things weren't the same as they used to be. And maybe that's better, right? He has the Avengers and his wonderful boyfriend, Tony, and now he has Bucky back. But the 1940s Bucky he remembered was kind, charismatic and confident. Present-day Bucky is anything but and Steve finds himself struggling not to force the old Bucky back onto him.
- - - - - -
It's been a few weeks since Bucky moved into the tower and to say things have been a little tense between the Brooklyn super-soldiers would be an understatement. It has been driving Tony up a wall having his boyfriend always stressing about the ex-winter soldier and the latter wanting anything but an interaction with the younger blonde.
"Hold still, Grease Lightning," Tony mutters as he tightens a part of the new arm he had made for Bucky. "I almost think you'd rather be armless then strut around with my wonderful creation I so nicely constructed for you."
The long-haired brunette simply rolls his eyes but stills under the younger man's steady hands nonetheless. Bucky actually doesn't mind getting his arm worked on, not in the slightest, not if it means getting to come down to the lab to see Tony. Tony is the only person that doesn't treat Bucky like a wounded animal and tells him things straight as they are. Because, you see, Tony might have sympathy for Bucky, but that doesn't mean he's totally forgiven him for everything he did. The dude might've been the Winter Soldier and all but he did still murder his parents. Tony thinks he should get to be a little upset over that fact.
"Why are you so nice to me all the time?" Bucky asks in his normal gruff voice, looking anywhere but into the billionaire's eyes because he's not sure what he'll find there and he doesn't exactly want to know either.
Tony's grip on his tool slackens and he tries to fight off the wave of color that's surely attacking his face.
"What do you mean?" Tony responds innocently, going back to work as though nothing happened.
"I mean I'm not a good person. I've done things, hurt people. Fuck, Tony, I'm still a master assassin for crying out loud," Bucky tries to keep the emotion out of his voice but finds it wavering against his will. "Even Steve can hardly stand the sight of me. So, why are you so nice to me?"
The question has been on Bucky's mind since the moment he walked into the tower and everyone seemed to have their negative opinion of him— everyone except Tony. Tony with his unruly mess of brown hair. Tony with his perfectly tanned skin that shines with scars and marks of a master mechanic. Tony with his mesmerizing brown orbs that remind Bucky of the coffee he used to get from his favorite diner in the 30s whenever he needed to escape. Tony just being... Tony.
And Bucky wants him. Oh, how he wants the man to himself. On the best nights, Bucky dreams of holding Tony in his arms without the fear of hurting him, of whispering sweet nothings in his ear, of being the one who gets to make his adorable face turn pink at the drop of one tiny compliment. But Tony isn't Bucky's for the taking. Tony is Steve's.
It's obvious how much Tony cares for his Captain what with his eyes shining whenever the blonde enters the room and the latter being the only one who can drag Tony from his work in the dark hours of the night. Bucky sees it in the way they brush up against each other, unable to keep their hands off of one another when they're in the same room. He sees it when they're cuddled up on movie night. He sees it all the time. And Bucky is a big enough person to admit he's jealous.
But Tony is Steve's and despite their differences, Bucky would never steal his brother's man.
"Because you and I have something, Buck," Tony shrugs carelessly, his response bringing Bucky out of his thoughts as he stares at the brunette curiously. "We get each other. We have an understanding. You're Steve's best friend and that means something to me."
Steve's best friend.
"Yeah," Bucky forces a smile onto his lips for Tony's sake. "I guess we do have a bit of an understanding."
- - - - - -
"Steveee," Tony whines as he tries to wriggle out of the super-soldier's tight hold around his waist.
Don't get him wrong, Tony would much rather stay in bed all day with a wonderfully shirtless Steve who is practically a heat furnace but he made a promise and he doesn't break promises.
"Stop movin'," Steve mumbles and pulls Tony closer into his side making the younger man sigh.
"It's already 10, Steve. You hate sleeping in," Tony tries to negotiate but Steve's ocean eyes remain closed.
"Just this once," he sighs contently and Tony silently gushes over how adorable his sleepy boyfriend looks.
"I promised Bucky I would fix the glitch in his arm today," Tony says as he runs a hand through Steve's messy morning hair making the blonde lean into the touch.
"You've been spending a lot of time with him," Steve opens his eyes finally, a frown on his lips and evident jealousy written across his features.
Tony, finally getting out of Steve's grasp, rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. "I built him a new arm, Steve. He's your best friend, I'm just helping him out."
"I know, I know," Steve concedes and stands up, walking over to Tony and wrapping his arms around the shorter man's waist. "But are you sure you can't stay awhile longer?"
"I'm unfortunately very sure, I'm already late," Tony swats Steve's arms away and misses the warmth instantly. "Besides, Bucky really isn't all bad, sweetheart. He just seems a bit understood."
By the time Tony manages to escape from his room, it's already 20 minutes past the time he'd told Bucky he'd meet him. He's not sure what he expects the former assassin to be doing when he makes it into the lab, but he certainly doesn't expect him to be laying on one of Tony's many tables with his head in his hands.
"Bucky?" When Tony hears a mumbled response he rushes over to the older man's side, eyes widening considerably when he sees Bucky's pained expression. "James, what's wrong? Are you alright?"
"H-Hurts," Bucky groans, weakly gesturing to the area where his arm and technology attach.
"JARVIS, run a full body scan," Tony orders with a shaky breath already going to work on removing the Stark Industries arm from Bucky's flesh.
"Right away, sir."
"This is all my fault," Tony mutters under his breath, forcing any tears out of his eyes as he doesn't need another distraction. "If I had just-"
"Is' not your fault," Bucky coughs and Tony gasps in horror as blood comes out with it. "H-HYDRA.."
"What?"
"Sir, it seems as though there is poison in Mr. Barnes' blood. Based on my calculations, it has been there for quite some time."
"Poison?" Tony exclaims, heart pounding painfully when he sees the purple-black color that surrounds the area where Bucky's arm and the metal usually meet. "From HYDRA? How did S.H.I.E.L.D. not catch that? Shouldn't your version of the serum be fighting that?"
That question, however, is forgotten when Tony sees the horrified look on Bucky's face. The soldier is glistening with sweat, jaws clenched as he tries to fight off the pain. No. Tony will not let him die. He will not die. Tony refuses to lose him.
"How much longer until the poison kills him?" Tony demands and despite the pain, Bucky smiles at the way Tony never sugar-coats anything with him.
"Roughly 2 hours, sir."
"Shit, fuck," Tony looks into Bucky's worried blue-grey eyes and his heart jumps. "Get Banner. And Steve. We need to figure out a cure."
The two arrive minutes later with Steve instantly rushing over to Bucky's side when he sees his best friend in pain. Sure, they might not be getting along the best right now but he doesn't want him to die.
"What's going on?" Banner asks in concern meeting Tony by a table full of syringes and dozens of holographs.
"What happened?" Steve rushes out giving Bucky a once-over.
"HYRDA poisoned Bucky so if his arm, the one they gave him, were to ever be removed a slow-burning poison would be released into his system," Tony informs, refusing to look at the two super-soldiers; this is too urgent, he won't let his emotions betray him.
Bruce looks over Bucky's blood pattern curiously, tapping the holographs obsessively for minutes until he pulls away with a grim, straight-lipped expression.
"I think I can make a cure," Bruce states firmly and Tony prays he's right. "But I'll need to go to my lab to do it. And Steve, I'll need you to come with."
"Me?" Steve frowns, a worried expression instantly on his face when he realizes he'll have to leave Bucky. "Why? I can't leave Bucky."
"Your blood has the super-soldier serum in it and I'll need samples of it to make an efficient cure for a human with Bucky's abilities."
Steve looks between Bucky and Bruce with a conflicted frown, only pausing when his eyes find the warm, brown ones of Tony.
"I'll stay with him, Steve," Tony puts his hand on his boyfriend's arm gently. "Go with Banner, I'll take care of Bucky."
"A-Are you sure?" Steve glances at his best friend whose eyes are now closed and his face in a grimace.
"Yes, go," Tony orders, pressing a quick kiss to his lips and pushing him out the door without another word.
Shooting a worried look at the worn-down super-soldier on his lab table, Tony goes to get a wet wash cloth and a bottle of water. When he returns, Bucky is sitting completely upright with an eerie calm expression on his face.
"Buck?" Tony calls, frowning at the weirdness of the situation.
When Bucky's eyes meet Tony's, they're completely glassed over with tears and seem almost... empty.
"Peggy?" He whispers as Tony gets closer and Tony's heart actually breaks a little at the tone.
"No, no, it's just me. Tony."
"Howard?" Something changes in Bucky's eyes, a flash of anger or pure hatred and suddenly Tony finds himself up against the wall with Bucky's human hand against his throat.
"B-Bucky, pl-please," Tony gasps for air trying his hardest to wrench himself out of the chokehold. "It's Tony, not Howard."
"You did this to us!" Bucky yells knocking Tony hardest against the wall in the process. "You created the serum! Steve just wanted to be normal! I wanted to be normal!"
And even though Tony has learned to hate his father his whole life, he's never hated Howard more than he does in this very moment. He wants to comfort Bucky, to take him into his arms and tell him it's okay, that Howard was an ass and ruined everything he touched, but Tony can't even get air into his lungs, much less form a coherent sentence.
He closes his eyes and waits for the oxygen to run out, not wanting Bucky to have to see the light drain from his eyes when it does. But it never happens. Bucky's hand falls limp from Tony's neck and the younger man eagerly gasps for as much air as he can get.
"T-Tony?" Bucky groans, falling into a coughing fit as soon as he says a word. Blood splatters onto his hands and shirt making Tony cringe.
"Hey, Buck. It's okay," Tony hesitantly steps towards the long-haired brunette but Bucky coils away from Tony's outstretched hand as though it's poisonous.
"G-Get away from me!" He demands, pushing himself against the wall and as far away from Tony as he can get. "I'll hurt you!"
"It's the poison, you're hallucinating," Tony explains quietly, carefully taking small steps towards the cowering soldier. "That wasn't you. None of the violence, the killing... none of it has ever been you."
"Tony, leave!" Bucky moans painfully and Tony scoops him up as best as he can, laying him on the couch in the corner of the lab. "Please, I don't want to hurt you."
"No, you won't. I'm not leaving you. I'm here til' the end of the line, remember?"
Another fit of coughing causes Tony to sit on the couch with Bucky practically laying on him as he attempts to pat the sweat away with a wet washcloth. Tony whispers reassurances in Bucky's ear, things he has no right to say and things that certainly may not be true. Things like it's okay, you'll be fine, there's a cure.
"It's not okay, Tones. It was never okay," Bucky sighs, closing his eyes as he allows himself to rest against Tony. This is what he wanted, right? Too bad he has to die to get it. "I don't have m-much longer. Can you... can you tell Steve that I'm sorry?"
And that's what makes Tony break, the dam full of tears finally leaking out of his coffee brown eyes as they drip freely down his shoulder. He can't bring himself to speak, he only nods.
"I've made a lot of choices that have gotten me here," Bucky whispers, giving into the idea that he's going to die. "I deserve this. I deserve to die."
"No," Tony insists through a muffled sob wrapping his arm tighter around Bucky and pulling him closer. "No you don't."
"I do, Tony, and that's okay," Bucky opens his tired eyes, a small smile forming on his lips as he relishes in the feeling of Tony's skin on his. "Because if I had chosen differently then I wouldn't have met you."
Tony finds Bucky's eyes, tears falling freely down both of their cheeks. Tony doesn't know what to say. No, he doesn't love Bucky— it's Steve, it's always been Steve— but he would be lying if he said there wasn't something there. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel something whenever Bucky complimented his work or accidentally grazed his skin with his own.
"I'm so sorry," Bucky mumbles, never breaking eye contact with the brunette situated above him. "I've done so many things to hurt you."
"It's okay, Buck," Tony manages a shaky whisper. "I forgive you," he grabs Bucky's clammy hand and runs his thumb mindlessly across the top. And he does. Tony really does forgive Bucky.
"I know you love Steve," Bucky continues as if Tony never cut him off to begin with. "And that it'll always be Steve. But I love you," Tony holds back sobs by biting his own lip, running his hands through Bucky's damp hair. "I love you. And you should know that."
And Bucky does love the small brunette. He doesn't know when it happened but somewhere in between watching Tony work in the lab rambling aimlessly about equations and theories Bucky will never be able to understand and watching him be the most compassionate person not only to Steve but to the other Avengers, Bucky fell hard.
"I do," Tony squeezes his eyes closed, nodding against Bucky's body. It's only a matter of time now, both of them can feel it.
"You should have met me in the 1930s," Bucky smiles softly, remembering how he was back then. "You would have liked me then."
"I like you now, just the way you are," Tony responds honestly, a hand slowly twirling Bucky's hair in between his fingers.
Tony doesn't know what comes over him or what possesses him to make his next move. He doesn't love Bucky, no. He belongs to Steve in every sense of the word. Surely it's because Bucky is dying on the couch next to him and because he just admitted that he loves Tony. But Tony does feel something for the former Winter Soldier, something more than casual conversations in the lab and side glances in the kitchen. And maybe if he would have met Bucky first then things would've been different.
But he didn't and they aren't. So Tony does the only thing he can think to do.
He presses his lips against Bucky's softly, gently so as not to cause him anymore pain than he's already in. And they both relish in the feeling for probably a bit too long; after all, it's nice to fall into something that won't have any consequence. Almost like a dying wish.
When they pull away, Bucky has a blissful smile on his lips even though his eyes remain closed. His voice is no more than a mere whisper at this point. "Thank you."
Tony smiles gently ignoring the wet trail of tears on his cheeks. Nothing matters except the last moments of the man in his arms. "You're welcome."
"Did I miss something?" A voice echoes from across the lab making Tony jump away from Bucky instantly out of shock rather than shame.
In the doorway stands Steve with a vial between his long, nimble fingers and a confused frown on his lips. He walks the distance to the couch in no more than four strides and passes the vial to Tony without question. The younger brunette wastes no time in forcing the liquid down Bucky's throat, the latter managing to painfully choke it down.
Within seconds Bucky's skin regains color and blue-grey eyes find warm coffee brown and the view makes Bucky's heart surge. If he's dead then that's okay because this is a heaven he could damn well get used to.
"Tony?" He groans as he attempts to sit up with a little help from the billionaire next to him. He frowns when he meets the blue eyes of his best friend; okay, maybe not heaven? "Steve? Did the cure work?"
"Yeah, it looks like it did," Steve grins and pulls his friend into a hug and Tony takes this opportunity to move off of the couch and take a few much needed steps back.
"JARVIS, how's he looking?"
"The poison seems to be eliminated, sir."
"Hear that, Buckaroo? Looks like you've got a clean bill of health."
The two share a grin but deep down they know that nothing will go back to the way it was before. Maybe that's for the best, maybe for the worst.