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”Oh. It's you. What do you want?! I thought I told you to quit following me!” Ellsee glared at him as she stood with her back up against the sink. The light glinted off the quivering sanitation ooze clinging moistly to the rim in a too-familiar way from the countless times he'd seen it. He thought his hands would be trembling, whether from fear or excitement or whatever the hell else he could be feeling in this moment. But no. He could feel the complete absence of shaking more than he thought he could ever feel any shaking itself.
“You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, Raines.” He gripped his hand in his pocket, around the cold, smooth metal. Guns weren't his jam, but he'd seen them before, and used them. And even if he weren't, at this range, he was certain he wouldn't miss. “How fucking long I've been trying and retrying to get you right here. Right where I need you.” She opened her mouth, probably to sass or yell at him again. Not this time.
The moment she saw the barrel pointed her way, he swore he could see her pupils shrink with fear, one nearing a tiny dot while the other more resembled a razor-thin line.
“Wha- What are you doing with that?” Her voice was what was trembling now. Good.
“Doing what needs to be done. Before you hurt any of them again.” He pulled back the safety, the metal felt icy digging into his skin before his forefinger came to rest on the trigger. “I warned you to stay away from them. Now you gotta face the consequences.”
“Please...” Her voice trembled, and he clenched his teeth together painfully.
“I warned you.” He moved his finger and the sound of a single shot painfully pierc
Murrit shot his head up from his desk, feeling a cold sweat running over his skin.
What. What had happened? He gasped and looked up, and felt his whole body turn icy as he saw the girl sitting ahead of him.
No. No no no. What the hell. What the fuck was this?! Why was she alive?! He had her dead to rights. He hadn't turned back the time!! Why was he back here!? Was the universe just that against him getting rid of her to protect the rest?!
At the edge of his consciousness, he heard the bell ring, and the people around him shuffled things in preparation to leave. His whole body felt fragile as a statue of eggshells under a 1 ton weight. If he made so much as a single move, he was going to fall apart. Was that even real? Had he hallucinated it? Murrit forced a deep, shaky breath between his teeth as he slid his hand down towards his pocket. The weight and chill metal hit immediately and he knew right away.
This wasn't a dream. He had succeeded, but then he had somehow failed.
What had happened? What had changed? What was it the universe wanted from him that it wouldn't allow him this one thing after all the immense bullshit it had put him through to get to this point?!
“Hey.” He jerked like a startled animal when the voice sounded beside him. Whipping his head around to find Dismas staring down at him, one eyebrow cocked in an expression of confused concern. “Class is over. Time to go.”
“Right, right yeah, just...” Murrit pushed himself to his feet, gripping the wooden desk lest his sweaty palms slide his hand to the far side and his face right into the wood. “Just need... a minute. I'm fine.”
“... You okay? You're acting weirder than usual.” Normally that amount of concern in Dismas's voice would give him a different sort of pang, deeply suppressed longing and aching soreness of things unsaid. But there were bigger fish to fry today.
“I said I'm FINE!!!” He snapped, loud enough to make Dismas jump and nearly everyone else in the room turn to look right at him. Shit. He closed his eyes, focused, trying to call back the last minute before he had publicly caused a scene. Just bring it back, like always before. He kept his eyes closed, feeling a pounding headache coming on. Had he overused it too much to get there before?
“Okay, seriously, do you need to go see someone? You look like you're about to pop something.” Murrit snapped his eyes open and stared at Dismas. A quiet, dark suspicion snuck up on him, and he could feel the fear pricking at him like a knife through the back and between the ribs.
“Did... Did I say something, just now?”
“Say something? More like you nearly shattered all the windows in the room.”
This time it wasn't even ice he felt. It was all just. Numb. His whole body suddenly felt distant, like his feet weren't where they were supposed to be and trying to move his fingers didn't budge them a bit. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. He had gotten so close . They were almost safe . Of all times to lose that mystery power, why did it have to happen now ?!?!
“Hey!” Dismas's voice hit him like a slap in the face, plunging him back into his body just as a wave of dizziness overtook him. “I said are you ready to go yet, or what? If there's something wrong, maybe you should go home or something.”
“Yeah. Yeah. I'm... I'm fine. Just. Just...” He saw a flash of green move past his eye, and his eyes followed Ellsee behind his shades as she walked out the door. And, if his memory was entirely correct, he knew where she was headed next. “Just... gotta use the can. Clear my head a min. Go wait ahead of me.” Dismas shot him another look, but as per usual, he had little argument.
“If you say so. But hurry up. I don't have all day. Jentha's waiting.”
“Yeah. Yeah, cool.” Murrit staggered past his kismesis, out into the noisy, bustling hallway. Everything felt distant and fuzzy, like he could barely focus a few feet ahead of him. Too much stimulus. He felt like everything was moving ahead too fast. He distantly felt his shoulder check someone and he heard the sound of a soda cup fall and splash all over the ground. The indignant soda drinker snapped at him and his clumsiness, but when he tried to back up the moment to stop it from having happened, all that happened was he saw Ellsee getting further and further away.
It really was gone. No time powers. No safety net. Nothing. Was he not allowed to kill her while he had powers? Is that what it was? He put his hand to his pocket again, and gritted his teeth.
No, he didn't need it. He knew how it was going to go down. He just needed this one more chance. Just one. If the universe wanted him to kill her on equal grounds, then he was going to do it. Then he could turn right around and spit in the universe's stupid face .
Ellsee went into the bathroom, and he stopped, leaning against the wall beside the door just for a moment.
It's okay , he thought to himself. Just do it like last time. Just go in there, and take care of her. Once and for all. No do-overs. No Time bullshit. You've got this.
Taking in a deep breath, he pushed the door open, letting it shut behind him. Ellsee was standing at the mirror, just like before. She had her hand up in her hair, just like before.
And she was going to die here. Just like before.
Ellsee turned at the noise of the door, and her hand came down from her hair, glaring at him just the same as she had the first time.
“Oh. It's you.” She turned around, her back just barely nudging the rim of the sink like before. He noticed the same little glob of sanitation goop glistening. Even the lighting was all the same. “What do you want?! I thought I told you to quit following me!”
“Shut the fuck up.” His tone was low, cold. And he reached toward his pocket, coming closer to her. Ellsee tensed up, and went to the old reaction of backing up closer against the sink. “This is going right this time. And nothing that you or your weird tricks can do is going to stop me.”
“W-what are you talking about? I haven't done anything to you!”
“No. Not yet.” He gripped the gun in his pocket, glaring daggers at her between the shutters of his shades. “And I'm not about to let you start.” He took one last step forward, tensing his hand to retrieve his weapon.
Just as a piercingly loud ringing assaulted his frazzled nerves with noise. As tense as he was, he jumped like a cat splashed with ice water. Ellsee didn't take the opportunity in vain. With the light, agile steps of a dancer, she jumped away from the sink, dodging around him until she was rushed out the door and into the hall. Murrit whipped around, and felt that numbness sink into his every nerve one more time.
“... Damn it,” he muttered, so soft it didn't take a single bit of his breath. His teeth pressed together, the sensation of them grinding felt like someone was running his head against a strip of sandpaper. “GOD DAMN IT!!!” He whipped around, kicking one of the stall doors in right off their hinges. His breath came out ragged, as if some vise had just let him go and he would die if he didn't get any air right that moment. “Why the fuck can this not just be easy?!” He felt the headache return, worse, as if the universe had decided to slam his head in a doorway while it fucked over everything he had worked for. He staggered towards the door, where moments ago Ellsee had just left.
It was okay. He could still fix this. Power or no powers. He just... needed to plan.
Murrit threw open the door so hard it slammed against the outside wall, then wobbled his way out as it slowly glided shut behind him.
–
The bathroom was quiet now, all but for the sounds of his own breathing. Huddled up against a tile wall, inches away from a small puddle of cleaning fluid, head spinning and breath half gone. Arcjec stared into his trembling hands, one of which still showed the slowly fading imprint of the letters from the fire alarm lever.
Had he. Had he just saved Ellsee? By going back in time?