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Sometimes things did not work out the way Sophie planned. She was, after all, a grifter. Not a goddess.
She had locked Nate and Sterling into that room 4 hours ago with far too much alcohol and no way out. That was part of the plan of course. They needed to talk things out at some point. They had been friends once and she knew that friendship was important to Nate, no matter what he claimed.
She had not expected Sterling to find her camera while looking for a way out. And she certainly hadn’t expected him to destroy it. And now 4 hours had passed and she had no idea if they were ready to come out yet or even if there were still 2 men alive in that room.
With a long suffering sigh, she picked up her novel and got comfortable for the long night ahead.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The first hour had passed quickly, the two of them combing the room for a way out.
The second hour was slower. Sterling had picked up a book but found he couldn’t focus. He turned the pages absently and tried not to watch Nate. Nate who was going through the first bottle quickly, on the opposite side of the room, frowning at the window.
The third hour was practically frozen in time. Nate had sat on the floor by the door, bottle in hand, knocking incessantly, sporadically calling out to Sophie. Sterling had tried to ignore it, but he could practically feel the rhythm pulsing in his brain. He poured himself his first through fourth drinks in that hour.
The fourth hour was somehow worse. Nate has given up on being let out and had begun tearing the room apart.
Sterling had accepted their fate a lot quicker than Nate had. He poured himself another drink as Nate savagely destroyed the room looking for a way out. ‘He must know,’ Sterling thought. ‘He figured out we’re trapped long before he tried kicking the door.’ But he said nothing and watched. He seemed to be a bit desperate, frantic, like a trapped animal.
Sterling couldn’t tell if he was the predator or prey.
Sterling poured his fifth drink and frowned. They used to do this. The two of them, drinking together, alone. And now Nate was so desperate to get away from him he was practically feral.
James swallowed against a wave of- was it nausea? He couldn’t quite tell what the unpleasant feeling was. He wasn’t quite-
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. Nate spun so fast he nearly fell over.
“What?” He barked.
“I said I’m sorry. About Interpol. IYS. Maggie. Sam. “
“Don’t you fucking talk about Sam!” Nate raised the book in his hand angrily. Sterling glanced at it pointedly, and then looked away.
“Are you going to throw that at me, Nate?”
Nate just stared at him until his anger subsided and he lowered the book, reaching for his bottle. He groaned when he found it empty.
Sterling filled the second glass and held it out. Nate took it grudgingly, with a mumbled thanks, before pacing across the room.
“It feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?” James mused aloud, trying to keep his voice casual. “The two of us, drinking together like this.”
“It was,” Nate answers. “I was a different man back then.”
“You were brilliant,” James says before he has time to think. He resists the urge to clasp his hands over his mouth.
Nate scoffs.
“Do you remember,” James pushes on through his own embarrassment. “The Cézanne? Qatar? I never would have thought to-“
“We’re not here to reminisce,” Nate says sharply, walking over to refill his glass. At least he wasn’t drinking straight from the bottle anymore.
“That’s exactly what we’re here for Nate.”
“Fine then!” Nate turns to him, smiling the same way he must smile at marks, knowing he’s caught them. “Let’s reminisce! Let’s talk about the time you had Elliot beaten and my apartment blown up! Remember that? Let’s discuss the time you asked for my help and then betrayed me, putting my entire team, my family, at risk. Or how about Palogen? Remember that? Let’s go over how you’ve been a constant thorn in my side when all I wanted was to help people, to make things right.” Nate had paced his way over to stand beside him. He looked down on James with that same frightening smile, before taking his seat.
They drank in silence.
James wanted to say, “you were breaking the law,” but he knew more than anyone that justice and the law do not see eye to eye. He wanted to say “I was doing my job,” but he knew how pointless those words are.
And they’re not even true. There was no reason for the extra attention he paid to Nate’s team. No reason for the fact that he kept his eyes open for signs of them constantly.
At least no reason he wished to share.
“Do you remember the La Peregrina Pearl,” Nate asked after nearly an hour and Sterling jumped.
“Of course,” he says quickly. “Our first case as partners.”
“Partners,” Nate repeats slowly, enunciating it as if it were foreign to him.
“Partners,” James repeated.
“I never understood why. I was fine without a partner.”
“You were spectacular.”
“What?”
“Smartest man in IYS. Best I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh,” Nate says, and the word is weighted. “Oh. You asked to be partnered. Couldn’t risk any less, I suppose”
He had never admitted this to anyone. Couldn’t bear to admit it tonight. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the city for that. James stood and paced along the wall.
“But you did, didn’t you? You wanted to work with me. Never even considered what I wanted. I was furious when they partnered us. Did you know that?”
And now James wanted to leave, needed to get out of this room and away from this conversation, because he hadn’t! He’s never even thought-
“But I have no right to complain. Being your partner saved my life in Texas.”
“Barrett Equity. Yes, I remember.”
“And at Red River.”
“I didn’t think you knew about that one.”
“But more importantly, you taught me how to work with others. I wouldn’t have Leverage if it weren’t for your... meddling.”
James leaned against the wall, at a loss. But Nate wasn’t finished.
“They changed me, Leverage changed me. Working with Hardison, Parker, Elliot. Being with Sophie. It made me a different man.”
“A better man,” Sterling added. “A great man.”
Nate looked at him sharply. “Stop that. Why do you keep doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Complimenting me. Putting me on some sort of pedestal. Acting like you admire me.”
‘Not enough alcohol,’ James thought. He stood there, mute, his mouth open just a little. He’d said too much. Hadn’t even noticed he was doing it after the first time. And now a decision needed to be made, and it needed to happen fast. He had realized it years ago, just after the Ma Mystere incident. He’d come to terms with it 10 years ago, after Pallogen and the black book.
Excuses to see them became far more difficult when they retired and were no longer committing Interpol-worthy crimes. He’d resigned and found some pathetic excuse to move to their town and now-now!- he has to decide whether to come clean, and he had better do it soon because his mouth’s been hanging open for at least 3 minutes now and Nate-
“Never mind,” Nate grumbled and poured another drink. “How long have we been in here?”
James wanted to scream. At himself for being a coward and Nate for being so difficult and Sophie because she should have caught on by now. His excuse to hunt them had run out in a parking lot and his excuse to live here had walked out the door 4 years ago with her wife.
And still he orbited the two of them trying to find a way to be closer.
Sophie was kind enough She’d invite him over for awkward dinners that Nate clearly resented. They... texted sometimes and James was grateful for each message and it was pathetic. It was-
“I asked what time it was.”
“I do admire you.” The words were out before he could stop them. “I think you’re brilliant and devastating. When you work, when you plot, it’s spectacular to watch. You look at me sometimes and I feel you turning me inside out in your head, finding my weaknesses, and calculating how to destroy me and it’s terrifying and exhilarating and-and-and humiliating. I think you’re compassionate and just and vicious and vindictive and gorgeous and-and-and-“ he trailed off helplessly and wanted to melt. Or jump out the window. The window was very tempting right now. He would give anything to not be here in this moment. Anything. Because he was too drunk and he’d said far too much but also nowhere near enough and Nate wasn’t talking. He hadn’t said a word. And James was trying very hard not to hyperventilate and there was a reason he never got drunk in front of other people. And someone needed to say something, so he glanced at his watch and said, “It’s past 3 in the morning. We’ve been in here over 5 hours and I don’t think she’s planning on letting-“
And he hadn’t even noticed that Nate was walking towards him until there were hands on his shoulders and lips touching his. And Nate was kissing him with the same desperation he’d used to tear up the room. For a moment it was wonderful.
But Nate still hates him, right? And if Sophie found out she’d hate him too. In the morning Nate would remember this and throw him away and there would be no more dinners or texting or- or anything. Nate would have one more reason to hate him and this time Sophie wouldn’t even try to-
Holding back a sob that he desperately wanted to blame on the alcohol, he pushed Nate away, turning his head to the wall. Nate stepped back abruptly.
“Sterling? James?” He said, and his voice was raspy and hesitant. James looked up. Nate looked horrified, ashamed. “I’m sorry,” Nate said desperately, and James hated it. Why must everything between them be desperate? “I misun- I thought- I would never-“ he shook his head as if trying to clear it. “I should’ve asked. I won’t do it again. I promise.”
And this time James actually did sob, and it was definitely because of the alcohol and Nate looked stricken. James leaned heavily against the wall, hugging himself, as if to protect himself from the hope he had felt for just a moment. Wanting to steel himself against the feeling of that long- awaited kiss, finally received but wrong. Horribly wrong.
“James? His eyes flew open, though he didn’t remember closing them. “I’m so sorry. I-“
“I can’t stand you hating me.” The words came out in a rush, sloppy, undignified, but not desperate.
Not desperate. For once he just needed to sound like he wasn’t desperate. “I can’t. I didn’t mean- I just wanted-“ His voice cracked and he pressed his palms to his eyes for a moment. “I just wanted to be near you again.”
Nate stared at him looking confused and at a loss. “God, Sterling, I-“ he shook his head again and took another quick drink. “Fuck. James. You can’t think- I didn’t-“ He slammed his fist into a bookshelf and growled in frustration. “Damn It James, I don’t hate you. Fuck, I don’t even think Elliot hates you anymore. Not since you saved Parker and Hardison in Suriname.”
“But-“ that feeling was back, the one that wasn’t nausea, and he wanted to sob again, but he gathered up what remained of his dignity and tried again. “But-“
“You came over for dinner tonight!” Nate continued helplessly. “You ate with us. For the third time this week and it’s only Thursday.”
“But that’s because Sophie-“
“Sophie wouldn’t have invited you if she didn’t know I li-“ and then Nate’s mouth snapped shut and he actually stumbled back a step.
No. He’d heard wrong. He’d misunderstood. That’s not what Nate was going to say. Not now. Not like this. Not here. Not after he had just listed reasons to hate him. Not when he had just kissed him.
The two men stared at each other. James could see Nate’s mind working double time even as he felt his own shutting down. He needed to get away from this before everything fell apart. Before Nate said anything else.
“I used to hate you” Nate said slowly. “But you changed. You helped. Do you remember before? When we used to help people? Before Blackpool?”
Nate was walking towards him, as if the talking wasn’t enough. And he seemed to be waiting for a response, but James had forgotten how to speak, how to breathe. He jerked his head up and down.
“Didn’t you miss it? I didn’t even realize I did until I met them. You say they made me a better man, but they didn’t. They just helped me remember.” Nate sighed. “Helping. Just helping. I remember what you were like back when we were helping people. You were like this.” A hesitant hand touched his face and quickly pulled back. “You’re just like I remember you.”
James raised his head and found himself practically nose to nose with Nate, his breath catching as he met Nate’s intense blue eyes. James could feel him turning him inside out again, but for the first time it didn’t make him feel small.
“Before,” he whispered.
“Before,” Nate agreed quietly and James leaned forward, pressing their lips together, tangling his fingers in to Nate’s soft curls and Nate’s hands were on his shoulders again.
He didn’t realize he was crying until Nate reached up and brushed away a tear. He pulled back, embarrassed, sinking to the floor and turning away to wipe away the evidence.
He was not expecting Nate’s arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug and to his embarrassment, he started crying harder.
They sat like that until the tears stopped and he found himself relaxing into Nate’s arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Sterling doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he wakes up it takes a moment to sort out where he is. Pressed against Nate’s chest, one of Nate’s arms wrapped around him.
He tensed and closed his eyes, not sure what to say or do in this situation. Horror flooded his aching head as he remembered, the things he’d said, the crying, the humiliating desperation, and he had to bite his lip to prevent a repeat performance.
There’s a soft noise of a book being placed on the floor, and then Nate’s other hand is on his shoulder, squeezing gently, as if to say, ‘I know you’re awake, but we can pretend as long as you like.’
Embarrassed, he pulled away, trying to smooth out his wrinkled shirt.
He looked over at Nate, who looked tired, hungover, nervous. His hair was a mess and his shirt- Sterling had cried into it. He’d ruined it. He’d ruined everything.
“Sophie, she-“
“She opened the door an hour or so after you fell asleep. We’re free to go.”
But Nate hadn’t gone. He’d stayed and let Sterling sleep. But that’s not the point! The point is-
“Sophie! Nate, you’re with Sophie. We have to tell her. She’s going to be furious! I shouldn’t have-“
“It’s okay James.” Nate reaches for his hand but he yanked it away.
How could it be okay? He’d kissed Nate, Sophie’s husband. Sophie has been kind to him, had welcomed him into their home. And he had repaid her like this? This was his fault for getting drunk like that and he needed to calm his breathing before he passed out.
“Hey, breathe. James, hey,” Nate has his shoulders again. “It’s okay. Sophie knows and it’s okay.”
“Why?” He managed to ask as his breathing slowed.
“Because she likes you too, I suppose.”
“I don’t understand.”
Nate sighed and stood, before extending a hand to help him up. “I’m too old for all this floor sitting. Come on.”
Sterling took the offered arm, ashamed for having kept Nate on the floor for so long. His own joints creaked as he rose.
They walked out of the ransacked library and made it all the way to the kitchen before Nate let go of his hand to make them coffee.
“Did you know,” he began, voice casual, “That Elliot and Alec are dating?”
Sterling frowned. “Hardison and Parker broke up? They seemed so happy together.”
“No. They didn’t break up. They’re still together. Elliot’s dating both of them.”
“Nate you can’t possibly be suggesting what it sounds like you’re suggesting”
“He is.” Sterling turned, carefully suppressing his anxiety. Sophie looked radiant. Sophie always looked radiant. “We want to date you.”
“I- what? What?” He turned back and forth between the two of them
Nate gave Sophie a worried look over his shoulder before looking back at Sterling. “We want to date you,” he said finally, “If you’re willing.”
“What would that even mean? How do you- what would that even look like?”
Sophie and Nate shared another look. Nate passed Sterling a cup of coffee, a very welcome distraction, and held one out in Sophie’s direction. Sophie walked over and sat down beside Sterling, placing her hand on his for just a moment. “James, if you’re not comfortable with this Nate and I won’t bring it up again. And we’ll still have you over. Nothing will change.”
“But if you were interested,” Nate continued, taking a seat across from him, “We would still want to have you over, but maybe also go out together. And-” he looked helplessly at Sophie, who just nodded and motioned for him to go on. “We would want to be...” He sighed and took a really, unnecessarily long sip of his coffee.
“Nate...”
“I’ve got this, Sophie. James, we’d want to be... romantic with you.”
Sterling felt like his brain was running away without him, or like the ground was falling out from under him.
Nate had changed. He was braver. The Nate he knew could never have opened up like this. He was braver than Sterling, who found that he couldn’t think of a single thing to say. A single thing he dared to say. He needed about 2 business days to process all of this before he could even begin to- “Can I kiss you?” He squeezed his eyes shut, cringing at his own awkwardness.
He opened his eyes when he felt two pairs of hands grasping his.
“Yes,” Sophie said, sounding delighted and surprised.
“I- yes. I would like that very much,” Nate added a moment later.
And then he kissed Sophie and Nate came around the table to hold him and kissed his cheek. And he couldn’t handle this. It was too much, too fast, and after too long.
He pulled away and dropped his head to Sophie’s shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him. He stood there and let himself be held by the two of them.
He was going to be okay. This was going to be okay.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes things did not work out the way Sophie planned. She had sent James and Nate off for a date night in the hopes of finishing her novel, but there they were, back in the kitchen and she still had another 2 chapters to go. She put down the book and laid back in their bed, enjoying the sounds of their conversation, the soft laughter and compliments.
They were 6 months into this new relationship and Sophie couldn’t be more pleased. James and Nate made her very happy, and she delighted in how happy they made each other. She adored James’s newfound daring and openness, possibly more than she adored his lips on hers.
When the door opened, she looked up at the two happy men, her two gorgeous partners, and she couldn’t help patting herself on the back. She had done this. She had made this possible.
Sometimes things didn’t work out the way Sophie planned. But most of the time they did. She was, after all, a very good grifter.