Chapter Text
A film by Peter Parker
and Shuri!
Tony and Peter are in the lab Peter begins recording
Tony: Peter can you read me that list again?
Peter: No I can not. *Peter puts on sunglasses.* What up? I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fucking learned how to read.
He flips the camera back on to Tony who stares at him in confusion
Shuri is filming as she walks into the common area where around one is.
Shuri: How did you take down Captain America?
*Peter stands up and does his best German accent.*
Peter: I shot him in the legs, because his shield is the size of a dinner plate. And he’s an idiot.
Tony laughs so hard he falls on the floor everyone else looks around confused (except Bucky with a a smile on his face) and T’Challa has a face that shows he is so done with this.
Steve has his hand on his face and sighs.
Steve: He did. He did do that.
Everyone: WHAT?
Peter is in his Spider-Man suit is in front of a mirror in the bathroom with his phone.
Peter: It is Wednesday my dudes. *He throws off his mask as he shakes his phone.* aaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Shuri is fliming in her lab she is with T’Challa.
T’Challa: Pass me my keys
*Somehow, Shuri has a tree in her lab and she throws it at T’Challa*
T’Challa: I said my keys.
Shuri laughs.
Shuri: I thought you said Christmas Tree.
T’Challa: Why would I say-“
T’Challa then realizes what this is about and looks at her and looks so done.
Peter is filming, Tony and Peter are in the lab.
*Tony gets up.*
Tony: Can you pass me my keys.
*Peter throws a copying machine.*
Tony: I SAID MY KEYS PETER!
Peter: I thought you said printer.
Tony: Why the FUCK would I say printer kid?
All the avengers are in a meeting and Peter begins to talk.
Peter: So, uh, basically what I was thinking was—
[Shuri slaps him in the face]
Peter: AH FUCK I CANT BELIEVE YOUVE DONE THIS”
Everyone:
Tony: So are we just ignoring the fact he turned British or—
Peter walks into the common room and yells,
Peter: THE FLOOR IS LAVA! If your on the floor you die.
*Everyone scrambles to get on to something. Clint scarifies Nat and he pushes her off the couch, Bucky is meanwhile just laying on the floor.*
Bucky: TAKE ME!
Steve: Bucky no—
Bucky: Hey do you think you could push the elevator button for me.
Sam: No Bucky, fuckin werido.
*Sam throws a plastic water bottle at Bucky who is missing his arms.*
Steve is on the couch looking at a bowl of nuts.
Steve: I am nuts about these nuts. But I’m also nuts about my close good friends.
*Camera pans out to show the whole couch. Bucky is on his right side of the couch and Scott is on the floor smiling. Clint is on the other side of the couch with Wanda on the ground cuddled up on his leg. Meanwhile, Sam is on Steve’s left behind the couch. Text appears on the screen.*
Steve: My close good friends.
Sam: Hey loser, say kid backwards.
Bucky: Dick?
Sam: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA— That’s gay.