Work Text:
This had been a terrible idea.
Loki was fairly certain he had mentioned, more than once, that this was a terrible idea. And yet they were still here, on Svartalfheim, wandering through the Deep Tunnels after a creature Loki was fairly certain didn’t actually exist. Oh, and they had been separated, and lost.
“This was a terrible idea.”
Sif heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Yes, Loki. As you’ve said every five minutes for the last half hour.” Loki stuck his tongue out at her back. “I didn’t hear you complaining when Fandral decided he wanted to come here.”
Loki glared at her. “Why? Did someone steal your ears? I complained. I complained a lot, in fact. Everyone on Asgard heard me complaining about it.”
Sif was smirking, the bitch. “Fandral didn’t.”
“It’s Fandral’s name day and we said he could do whatever he wanted. And if he wants to go hunting some mythical creature in the smelliest caves in Svartalfheim, then that’s what we’re going to do.”
“Even though you think it’s a terrible decision.”
“That’s right.”
“Because he’s Fandral.”
“Yes. Why are you laughing?”
Sif’s shoulders were shaking. “No reason.” She flapped a hand at him. “So, we’ve come to Svartalfheim, entered the abandoned tunnel system the natives no longer use, got separated thanks to the floor collapsing under the two of us, and now we’re lost. What do you have to say about that?”
“That this was a terrible decision and I told you so.” Sif laughed. “And Fandral’s a twit.”
“I’m telling him you said that.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll tell him myself.”
It actually wasn’t that bad. The tunnels hadn’t been used in a while, so there was the occasional creature that had moved in and made a home, and wealth of cobwebs and dust. It was dark, but Loki was able to call a light easily, and between he and Sif, they didn’t have much trouble with anything they came across. Thor and Fandral has shouted down to them that they’d meet up further down when the two tunnels likely merged back together, although they had been walking for quite a while without any further sign of their other two companions. Which just meant the two tunnels hadn’t met up yet, but the issue was Loki hated caves.
He had no sense of direction within them. For whatever reason, he simply could not find his way out of one. Which was why Sif was leading and he was holding his ball of seidr to light the way.
“This was a terrible idea,” Loki muttered, and Sif sighed.
“This was a fantastic idea!”
Thor looked over his shoulder at Fandral’s beaming face and laughed. “Aye, except for the cave-in and the fact we are now separated from Loki and Sif.”
Fandral just waved his hand airily, causing the ball of light he was holding to jump all over the place. “Minor inconveniences, Thor! I am going to see the Tunglfasa wyrm ! And —“
“And then you’re going to ask Loki to court you,” Thor interrupted with a grin that Fandral returned easily. “Have you got everything in place?”
Fandral nodded. “I do. Your mother is preparing Loki’s favourite place in her gardens for us with a table and lights. Kanil has been busy today with the food and my first gift,” he patted his vest pocket, “is right here.”
“Can I see it?”
Thor took the little velvet bag from Fandral, unsurprised to find it was a little bigger on the inside.
“It’s Star Metal,” Fandral said quietly. “The very first shooting star I ever saw with Loki. I hunted it down afterwards, and the Sons of Ivaldi crafted this for me.”
Thor turned the bracelet over in his hands. The delicate engravings and the way the metal had been shaped to look like cresting waves all crashing around a single stone of pure dark blue. He tapped a finger lightly on the stone.
“What’s this?”
“That’s for Loki,” Fandral grinned. “It’s my seidr, given physical form and crystallised by me. It contains my most treasured memory of Loki.”
“You sap. What’s the memory?”
Thor’s grin faded into something less teasing as Fandral’s entire face softened, his bright gold eyes shining with excitement. “It’s from when we were kids,” he said softly. “We were all maybe eight or nine decades old. Your mother was having her annual Spring Ball in Idunn’s Orchards. And I was the only one without a partner.” He brushed his hair away from his face and Thor caught a glimpse of a tiny braid of dark hair behind his ear, visible even in the poor light from his seidr light.
“And Loki came over, told me I was too beautiful to be alone. He danced with me, and I promised him I’d marry him. Loki just laughed it off but...” Fandral blinked and then smiled at Thor with a wink. “Took me a couple of centuries after that to understand I was actually in love with the little shit, of course.”
“Of course,” Thor snorted and handed the bracelet back in its bag. Fandral tucked it back into his vest pocket and they began moving again.
They’d not gone too much further when Thor noticed that the light in the tunnel was changing. A brilliant green glow was coming from one side, and the sun was beginning to show through gaps in the rocks above them.
“—-or! Thor! Fandral!”
He grinned at Fandral and shouted back. “We’re here, Sif! And so is the exit!”
“Oh thank fuck for that!”
Fandral sniffed in mock insult and sashayed up to prop his hip against the wall where the tunnels joined.
“Excuse you,” he began, but his words were cut off by a low and deep rumbling from beneath them.
“What is that?” Thor shook his head at Sif.
“I don’t know,” he said quietly, “but I think it’s time to leave.”
Fandral nodded his agreement, and as soon as Sif and Loki had rounded the corner, Thor drew Mjolnir and sighed. “Right. Cover your eyes and we’ll get out of here.”
He moved to swing Mjolnir, but the rumbling came again, closer this time and the stones and dirt above their heads gave way easily as it passed them by. Bright sunlight streamed through and he turned with a grin and a cough as the dust and debris settled. Loki was dusting himself off and grumbling, Sif was laughing at Loki’s grey hair, and Fandral was -
“Fandral!” Thor darted forward to catch him as he fell, blood pouring from a wound somewhere on his head. His eyes were glassy and distant, his right hand twitching and moving constantly. “Stay awake!”
“Fandral!”
The rumbling came again, drowning out Loki’s cry. Sif whipped her head up to look at the ceiling of the cave entrance, and she saw the glitter of something pale white moving overhead, through the stone. Something pale white and massive.
“Loki, get us out of here!” She thought they may have found Fandral’s wyrm.
Loki was clinging to one of Fandral’s arms, his own face white, and magic dancing over his skin. “Yggdrasil doesn’t connect back to Asgard from here. I had to take us a roundabout way, remember?” There was an eerie calm note to his voice.
Sif turned and looked at him.
Fandral was completely limp in his and Thor’s arms, his head so drenched in blood, for a moment she thought it had been removed, and bile filled her throat. His eyes were wide and unfocused, and there was a tremor to his limbs that made something in her chest clench.
“Loki, we need to get somewhere safe.” She tried to keep her voice calm. “You can look at him then.”
Loki swallowed and nodded, and the green that danced across his skin filled the air. “Yggdrasil! Take us somewhere safe!”
The loud creaking of branches drowned out even the rumbling of the cave. Yggdrasil’s magic flooded the area, grasping at each of them with tendrils like vines, and yanking them through the center of her. Sif shut her eyes as the world tilted and turned, and when it finally righted itself, there was only silence.
Thor closed his eyes as they were set down somewhere bright and eerily quiet. There was no birdsong, no sounds at all. He blinked slowly to let things come into focus, and then looked down at the man in his arms. Loki was holding his other side, but Fandral’s face was almost completely obscured by the blood that hadn’t stopped.
His eyes were unfocused, and the twitching spasms in his right hand had moved to all his limbs. “Loki,” he said quietly but firmly. “We need to get him to Eir now. We cannot handle this!”
Loki nodded, his limbs cold with panic. They hadn’t planned for this. Loki was supposed to take them on Yggdrasil, to map a path to Svartalfheim’s caves so she could grow branches that would connect directly over time. Fandral’s shadows reached everywhere, even the places Yggdrasil herself could not, and he was their escape plan had anything gone wrong. They hadn’t planned for what they would do if Fandral was injured! And Loki could feel this place. Like the caves, it was one of the blind spots in Heimdall’s vision.
They couldn’t carry Fandral when he was seizing, and Loki didn’t know how far they were from the nearest place Heimdall could see, or the nearest connecting branch to Asgard.
He shut his eyes.
“Loki,” Thor growled, fear making the sky rumble overhead with dark clouds.
“Shut up. I’m getting us home.” He sent his magic out to Yggdrasil, found the branch they were on. It didn’t connect to Asgard. It didn’t even connect with Vanaheim or Alfheim. Svartalfheim had been sick for too long and Yggdrasil had begun to cut the pathways off from the dying planet.
I need a way home. Yggdrasil, we need to get home now!
The World Tree creaked and groaned, her branches trembling. Loki’s attention was drawn to the start of a new branch, forming from the one they were on and reaching toward Asgard, but it was new and incomplete.
Loki curled his magic around it. He opened his eyes and shuddered at the sight of Fandral’s body twitching, his eyes unseeing.
“We need to go home now.” He shoved his magic at Yggdrasil, uncoordinated and panicked, pressing it against the tiny branch and willing it to grow, to connect. The world was filled with the green of his seidr as it was pulled and pushed out of him, and then a bright burst of light, made of all colors, filled his head. Loki’s ears rang, and something, or someone, was singing.
There was a sensation of falling, the wild, terrifying emptiness of a void around him and inside him.
He hit the ground hard. The world danced and sang in all colors, rampant and wild.
Someone was shouting for Eir, but Yggdrasil was talking. He thought she was talking. Or maybe those were shadows. Loki tried to focus, but the world tilted and spun and danced out of reach, and he was left floating in a void.
Sif scrambled to her feet the moment they were in the healing halls, shouting for Eir and bolting out of the room to find the healer. Fandral was seizing on the floor and Loki was unconscious, blood running from his nose and his eyes burning green through his lids.
She slammed into the wall as Eir came tearing out of her office, Alvöru on her heels. “Fandral’s hurt.”
Thor sat stupidly on the floor with Fandral’s seizing body still in his arms and Loki glowing and bleeding beside him.
“Eir,” he murmured. “Eir. Help? Something killed Fandral and Loki did something and— ”
“And you need to get off the floor and let Alvöru take Fandral.” Thor blinked and tried to focus on the face in front of his. Small, pale and soft, with freckles all around her big purple eyes.
“Avoi,” he said and she nodded.
“Mmhmm. Now off the floor. Al’s got him. Loki’s fine. That little light show is nothing to be concerned about right now.”
Avoi’s voice was soft and soothing, and he let her lead him to an empty bed. Eir and Alvöru had Fandral on the bed beside him, and when Eir moved to cut his vest off Thor flung a hand out.
“Wait! Give me - in his pocket! Don’t lose it!”
Eir reached into Fandral’s pocket and grabbed the small pouch there. She handed it to Alvöru and went back to cutting Fandral’s vest off, tossing it to the floor when she was done. She placed her hands over his chest and pushed her seidr through his body.
“Avoi, I need a set of those drainage tubes.” Eir moved to Fandral’s head, Alvöru following her, and both of them focused their seidr on the damage that had been done.
“I’m going to ease the pressure build-up. You focus on mending the skull fracture.”
Alvöru nodded and Eir left him to it. Fandral’s skull had been split and he was bleeding heavily, both out of the wound and inside his head.
Avoi came back with the drainage tubes and Eir soaked one of the of them in her seidr, Alvöru holding Fandral’s head still as she slid the end carefully through the bone of Fandral’s skull. Blood started draining down into a bag she attached to the side of the bed.
“Eir,” Alvöru murmured, “there’s a lot of bruising here.”
Eir nodded. She ran her seidr through Fandral’s body, idly healing the mild damage like scratches and bruises along his arms, as she poked at his seidr, trying to get a response. There was nothing, though. His magic was there, but he wasn’t conscious of her presence.
His seizing had lessened with the draining of pressure in his head, but his hands were still twitching. Eir focused her attention on his head, helping Alvöru heal Fandral’s skull and try to ease the bruising in his brain.
Thor watched the blood draining from his friends brain and closed his eyes. Fandral’s seizing had stopped, but there was clearly something horribly wrong.
Loki was quiet, but Thor didn’t want to look at him. He couldn’t seem to make his eyes leave the tubes and bags of blood that were coming from Fandral’s brain.
“He’s going to die. Isn’t he Eir?”
Loki choked out a whine and opened his eyes. The whole room was painted in hues of green and he could feel the magic burning in his eyes.
“Not if I can fucking help it! And I don’t want to hear bullshit like that from your mouth, either. Sauma, see if the prince is addled.”
“I’m fine.” Loki’s voice was hoarse and his head throbbed with every beat of his pulse, but he shoved himself to his feet. A poor decision, made abundantly clear when the room started spinning.
Sauma grabbed hi before he could collapse, and hauled him over to a bed. The room didn’t stop spinning and he had to shut his eyes, fingers digging into the blankets beneath him.
“You’ve almost completely drained your seidr.”
Loki nodded. Bad idea. Terrible fucking idea. “I’m gonna be sick.”
A bucket was shoved under his chin just in time for him to vomit up everything he had ever eaten in his life. It made his head pulse with pain, but it wasn’t the first time.
Sauma’s fingers pressed against his temples, her seidr nudging at his. Loki shoved her away. “M’fine. Just seidr-concussed. Fandral. Eir, Fandral?”
“He’s right, Sauma. I need you here.” Sauma moved over to Eir’s side obediently. “He’s got bits of his skull that pierced his brain. We need to remove them carefully.”
Loki threw up for an entirely different reason. “Fuck.” His fingers curled around the edge of the bucket. “Eir...”
“Shut up and let me work!” the healer snapped. “He’ll heal or he’ll die, but I’m gonna do my damned best to make sure it’s the former. Now unless you’re bleeding out or have some relevant information, keep your fucking mouth closed.”
“This was a fantastic idea!” Fandral grinned over at Thor and winked. “Did you see the size of that Wyrm?”
He sighed happily and laughed. “And now it’s back to Asgard so I can wine and dine your brother and ask him to court me!”
Fandral ran his fingers over the lump in his vest pocket and squeezed it lightly.
“He’s going to say yes,” Thor said softly.
Fandral turned to answer him, but something sharp stabbed through his head, piercing pain and blinding bright behind his eyes. He staggered, grabbing at his head and groaned.
“Fandral?”
He shook his head a little, but the voice…
“ Fandral!”
He blinked slowly and opened his eyes, turned to look for Eir, but saw only Thor and the caves.
“Let’s go home,” he murmured. “See one Wyrm and you’ve seen them all.”
There were six bone fragments lodged in Fandral’s brain, but getting them out was a delicate process. Alvöru kept Fandral’s head still and watched over him and the drainage tube, while Eir protected the rest of his head and did what she could to mitigate the pressure. It was Sauma, with her skill working with bone, who carefully found each piece and removed it, guiding it out with her seidr. Eir followed behind her, healing the damage to Fandral’s brain.
The tube remained in his head, draining blood an relieving the pressure that threatened to throw him back into a seizure if not kept reduced.
Sauma and Alvöru worked together to heal the rest of the damage to Fandral’s skull, and Eir took a warm cloth and cleaned the blood from his face and neck. He was extremely pale beneath the layer of red, but his heart was still beating steadily and his breathing was untroubled. His body seemed to be functioning without an issue, and she hoped that meant his mind hadn’t been damaged and he would heal well.
They kept a careful eye on him for the next couple hours, letting him heal and rest, before Eir tried to wake him. She called his name and tapped his cheek, but there was no response. His seidr didn’t even react to hers.
No one said anything about it, but she could feel the weight of Thor, Loki, and Sif’s gazes, and she gave them an encouraging smile. “Head wounds are finicky. We’ll try again in a couple hours.“
Thor left only when Avoi threatened to strip him and hose him down in the middle of the halls. He shuffled off to his rooms, pausing only at the door to turn back to Avoi.
“Will you make sure Loki bathes as well? He’s just as covered in - in muck as I am.”
He didn’t say ‘ covered in Fandral’s blood’ because that made it seem… real.
Avoi just nodded. “I will. Go on. Eir’s going to try again in about an hour to wake him up. It’ll all be fine, Prince. Take care of yourself a little too.”
“Loki?”
He blinked and glanced up at Sif, but his eyes moved back to Fandral almost instantly. “What is it?”
“Avoi says you need to bathe. We both do.”
“Ah.” Loki nodded. Yes, he’d heard her. He went back to watching Fandral.
“Loki?”
“I’m waiting,” he said.
Sif sat down on the bed next to him. “Waiting for what?”
“For Eir to tell Fandral that he needs to corral me. He’s always the one to do so. I thought perhaps that would get him up.”
Sif slipped her hand into his. “He’ll be all right. You’ll see. He’s Fandral.”
Loki nodded. He was, and that was why he could never not be okay. Loki wouldn’t be able to bear it.
“Come on, Loki. You’re covered in blood. Let’s go bathe, and you can fetch that blanket you have and lie down with him. The bed’s big enough, isn’t it?”
“It’s not proper,” he murmured, standing. “He hasn’t asked me yet. I thought he might today. Maybe.” He looked down at his hands and then back at Fandral. “Not now.”
“If anyone complains, blame it on me. I’m stealing this bed when we get back.” She kicked the post of the bed behind him. “And you know I like to sprawl. Now come on.” She tugged on his arm and he sighed, letting her lead him out the door. He took a final glance back at Fandral.
“I won’t be long,” he murmured. “Don’t leave.”
Fandral was not pacing. He was just… making sure he could still walk.
Frigga’s gardens were perfect. Lights strung up and glittering softly, his and Loki’s favourite flowers scattered all around the small table. Kanil’s amazing food covered it, and in his room there were silk sheets and sweet wine waiting.
He turned at the sound of footsteps and had to fight down the urge to vomit all over his shoes. “Loki!”
Loki was grinning as he looked around the garden, and Fandral nearly fainted with relief when he held his hand out and Loki slid his into it, just like he always did.
“And what’s all this?”
Fandral smiled and tugged Loki in closer. He held the small velvet pouch out with his other hand and licked his lips nervously.
“Fandral? Can you hear me honey?”
He blinked and shook his head, Eir’s voice fading away. “I’ve got something to ask you,” he said as Loki opened the pouch, and rubbed his hands against the fabric of his trousers.
“Fandral…”
“Will you let me court you, Loki?”
Eir ran a hand over Fandral’s head, pressing her seidr in along his. Still, the boy didn’t wake.
“Eir?” Sauma’s voice had a note of worry in it and Eir smiled at her
“It’s only been the first few hours. It’s not dire yet.” Although the fact that he wasn’t reacting at all had her worried. Normally, even unconscious, his seidr would react to hers.
Sauma licked her lips. “We could try… um…”
Alvoru huffed angrily and nudged her aside. He rolled his knuckles along Fandral’s sternum, making Sauma wince in sympathy, but the other man didn’t react in the least.
“This isn’t good,” Alvoru muttered.
Eir rubbed her eyes, nodding softly. “Head injuries are troublesome, though, and there was a lot of damage. His seidr is focused on healing.”
Sauma looked at Alvoru. “I say give it a couple days before we get too worried? He could wake up tomorrow, perfectly fine.”
Alvoru crossed his arms. “And he might not wake up at all.” Sauma grimaced and looked away, and Alvoru sighed. “No, you’re right. A couple days. Maybe Loki taught him one of his healing trances or he knows one we don’t.” He looked at Eir. “But if he doesn’t wake up?”
“Then we'll be trying something a little more invasive,” Eir said, nodding. “But for now, we wait.”
Alvoru frowned heavily. He hated waiting.
Thor sat quietly beside Sif in the bed beside Fandral’s and waited. Loki had been gone during Eir’s attempt at waking Fandral, and he was grateful that she’d told him she’d wait.
“A little white lie doesn’t hurt now and then,” he murmured. The door creaked and he looked up as Loki wandered back in, hair damp and curling loose about his shoulders, a thick blanket in his arms. He nudged Sif to get her attention.
“Loki’s back,” he whispered.
“You smell better,” Sif said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.
Loki’s eyes were on Fandral, focused on him like he had expected Fandral to be awake when he returned. The fact that he was not had Loki’s fingers clenched tightly in the blanket, his mouth drawn down into a little frown.
“Why… why isn’t he awake yet?”
“Eir said head injuries are tricky, Loki,” Thor said softly. “They’ll try again soon. He just needs to rest.”
Loki’s fingers were clenched so tightly around his blanket that Thor could see the white of the bone under his skin.
“You can get in with him. Eir said the contact would be good for him.”
Loki stood at the bottom of Fandral’s bed for a long moment, his fingers clenching and unclenching in the blanket, until he finally let it fall open. The blanket was large and it hung over the edge of the bed, the softest cashmere in a warm, sandy gold. Loki spread it out over Fandral and then crawled beneath it, lying down in bed next to the other man.
Fandral’s body was warm, which was a relief. Loki rested his head on Fandral’s shoulder and curled an arm around his chest. He could feel the other man breathing, hear the beat of his heart, but when he slipped his fingers into the other man’s, he didn’t squeeze Loki’s hand like he always had before. There was no reaction at all.
Loki shut his eyes. “Please wake up.”
“He will, Loki,” Sif said quietly, curling her hand in Thor’s. “He will.”
Fandral blinked his eyes slowly and rubbed at his eyes. His head was throbbing a little and his mouth tasted of something sweet and sickly. There was an ache in his thighs and his back was stinging faintly, but when the room came into focus around him, he couldn’t help the sappy grin on his face.
His thighs ached from exertion. The stinging in his back was courtesy of Loki’s nails dragging down it all night and his headache was from all the sweet wine and chocolate they’d consumed.
Fandral turned his head to face Loki, his eyes still closed and lips slightly parted as he slept, and pressed his own to them.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Now go brush y’r teeth an’ gemme coffee.”
Fandral laughed and licked Loki’s cheek before he rolled out of bed and stretched. He looked down at his sleeping husband-to-be and sighed happily. “Knew you’d say yes.”
The scent of coffee and the bright sunshine calling to morning. The sun was demanding, but he was warm and comfortable.
Loki nuzzled his face into the pillows, and a warm chuckle sounded from somewhere near to him. He opened his eyes, and a bright gold pair of eyes stared back at him warmly.
“Fandral,” he breathed, pushing himself upward. “You’re okay.”
He slipped his hand into Fandral’s, entwining their fingers together. Loki leaned forward and pressed his lips to Fandral’s.
The world shimmered green and gold and blue and Loki opened his eyes.
The room was dark with night, the scent of the healing halls thick in the air, and Fandral was warm next to him, but his hand limp in Loki’s.
Loki leaned his head on Fandral’s chest and sighed. Just a dream. Unfair.
“Lo? Babe, why wouldn’t I be okay?” Fandral frowned a little in confusion as he set their breakfast trasy down and sat on the bed beside Loki. “Is everything alright?”
Loki nodded slowly, lips tugged down in a little frown. “Of course. I -- I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” He shook his head and grinned. “Clearly, you damaged my brain last night. I need my coffee. Gimme!”
Fandral snorted, but turned to get Loki his coffee. “If it’s your brain your worried about, I can always --”
Fandral laughed as the coffee went flying, the cup clattering to the floor somewhere behind him. Loki was pressing himself firmly up against his chest and peppering his face with kisses. “Not my brain I’m worried about, minn elskaði eiginmaður .”
The sun was rising, slowly filling the room with a dim gold light that Thor usually loved to watch. But not today.
Today, Thor watched Loki as he slept, curled up tightly against Fandral with his head on his chest. It didn’t escape his attention that his brother had one ear pressed against Fandral’s heart. Their hands were entwined on Fandral’s stomach, but it hurt Thor to see how slack Fandral’s was.
He’d seen them hold hands more times than he could remember over the years. And even when one of them had been unconscious, they’d always tangled their fingers together. Thor and Sif had teased them about it, Eir couldn’t explain it and their mother just grinned. But it had always happened.
Not this time.
He glanced over at the door as it slowly opened and smiled tiredly at his mother as she peered in.
“Good morning, mamman,” he whispered. Sif didn’t stir at all where she was sprawled out over top of him, and Loki’s eyes stayed closed, his breathing steady. “You’re up early.”
Frigga smiled gently at Thor as she moved into the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
“Sleep clings too tightly to some of us even as it abandons others.” Her eyes lingered on Loki and Fandral for a moment, before she moved to sit on the edge of Thor’s bed. “Good morning, my darling. How are you?”
Thor let his head fall into his mothers soft hands, and sighed quietly. “I’m tired, mamman” he murmured. “But I don’t want to sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see him standing there. All that blood and —“
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Is he going to wake up?” Thor opened his eyes and looked up at his mother. “I don’t want to lose Loki too if he doesn’t.”
“I spoke with Eir.” She brushed her fingers lightly through Thor’s hair. “She said that despite him not waking, the fact that his seidr is focused on healing himself is a good sign. She believes he will make a full physical recovery, which was in question at the start.”
Head injuries could so easily be deadly or permanently ruinous, especially when the skull was fractured. And the place where Fandral’s brain had been injured had the healer worried he might have lost ability to move or walk. There was still question to that, but the wounds were healing without trouble, so it looked promising.
“As to when he will wake, no one is certain, but I am hopeful.” She pressed a kiss to Thor’s forehead. “He has much to come back for.”
Thor toyed with the little bag in his pocket before he pulled it out with a sigh.
“I don’t know what to do with this,” he admitted softly. “Do I give it to Loki just in case Fandral doesn’t wake up? Or do I hold onto it?”
He held it out to his mother and shrugged. “I’m… lost. I’ve never seen someone like this before. In between living and dead.”
“Hold onto it,” Frigga said gently, clasping the bag and Thor’s hand between both of hers. “Fandral will wake and wish to know where it is, so keep it safe for him, and don’t give up hope, Thor.”
She traced her fingertips over his knuckles. “You believe he’ll wake up well and Fandral will fight to prove you right.”
Thor just nodded and sighed softly. “Is there anything pressing for today, mamman? Or could I stay here with Loki and his Fandral?”
Frigga smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “You and Sif are to both stay here and keep Loki and Fandral company. One of my handmaidens will check in with you periodically and bring dinner.” She ran her hand through his hair. “Take care of your brother for me, hm?”
“As much as he’ll let me.”
Thor knew better than to push Loki though, especially when he was scared like this. Loki would only push back with words, and his brother wielded those like another blade.
He let his cheek rest on the top of Sif’s head and watched as his mother moved to the other bed and ran her fingers through first Fandral’s hair then Loki’s.
Loki opened his eyes and looked up at her, and Frigga smiled softly. “I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Loki shut his eyes and turned his face into her hand, rubbing his cheek across her fingers. “I was dreaming that he was awake, but he wasn’t.”
Frigga traced her thumb over his temple as he rubbed his cheek against her fingers. She didn’t think he even realized he was doing it, but Loki had always taken on animal attributes during highly emotional times. “He’ll wake up, sweetheart.”
Loki looked doubtful, his expression filled with worry as he turned his gaze back on the other man. “I should’ve gotten us back faster.”
“You did fine.” Frigga kissed his temple. “Lie down now and go back to sleep. You’re to spend tomorrow helping your brother and Sif keep an eye on him."
Loki nodded absently and laid his head back down on Fandral’s chest, the steady beating of his heart a reassuring sound.
Frigga ran her fingers through his hair until Loki’s breathing evened out. She stood and turned back to Thor. “I’ll check in with you later, dear. Try to get some rest.”
There was a warm, heavy weight on his chest and legs, and Fandral struggled to make his eyes open. It was much easier to simply run his hands down the soft skin of the body pressed against his, to trail his fingers through the oil and mess between them and grin.
He opened his eyes with a jaw-cracking and immediately coughed and spluttered around the mouthful of hair he ended up with.
“Loki,” he grumbled. “Your hair is smothering me, love.”
Loki sat up quickly, gripping Fandral’s arms. “You’re awake!” He turned to Thor, and faltered at finding them not in the healing halls at all, but in his bedroom.
His smile slipped from his lips. “I’m dreaming again,” he murmured. He sank back down beside Fandral with a sigh, blushing brightly when he realized they were both naked.
That kind of dream.
Fandral stared at him. “You said almost the same thing before,” he said slowly. “I’m okay, and I’m awake. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He let his hands rest on Loki’s hips and pulled him in closer. “And you’re blushing? After earlier I didn’t think I’d see that again in our bed any time soon,” he teased. Fandral ducked his head and kissed Loki gently before he pulled back and watched his face.
“Lo, are you alright, my love? I promise, no more Wyrm hunts!” He nudged his hips forward and grinned. “Need me to break your brain again? I mustn’t have done it right before if you think you’re dreaming still.”
Loki stared at Fandral. He was very real, for a dream. “It’s not my brain that’s broken, it’s yours.” He traced his finger over the side of Fandral’s head where there should have been a tube. “I wish you’d wake up.”
Something jostled his arm and Loki looked down at it, the colors of his skin and the bed sheets siding together like oil paints. He looked back at Fandral
And found Eir standing next to him, her hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him.
“Morning, honey. We’re going to try and wake Fandral up again.”
Loki blinked at her and looked down at Fandral, unconscious on the bed with the tube still in his head.
He sighed heavily. Just dreams.
Thor gently nudged Sif awake, shifting them around in the bed to sit upright.
“Wassit?” she mumbled and Thor kissed her cheek.
“Eir is going to try and wake Fandral again,” he said softly. Loki was moving about in the other bed, and Thor held a hand out to him. “Loki? Do you want to sit here with us?”
Loki squeezed Fandral’s hand and slid out of the bed. Eir was moving his blanket aside and he took Thor’s hand and slid into the bed beside his brother, resting his head on Thor’s shoulder.
He stared down at his hands. Fandral wasn’t going to wake up. He didn’t need to watch to know that. He was only awake now in Loki’s dreams.
Thor sat in silence as Loki curled himself up around he and Sif. A shiver went through Loki, but Thor was positive he wasn’t cold. Eir and Alvoru were talking quietly at Fandral’s bedside, and he sighed.
“Loki? Do you want to sit up? He - he might open his eyes this time.”
Loki tucked his face into Thor’s side and shook his head, He tucked his legs up against Sif’s back and wrapped an arm around Thor’s waist, sliding a hand under his thigh and clinging to him.
“He won’t,” he mumbled.
Eir was talking quietly, calling out to Fandral, but Loki didn’t look over at her. Fandral wasn’t talking back, wasn’t waking up. Maybe he never would.
Fandral turned his head, frowning over at the edge of Idunn’s orchard.
“Fandral?” He glanced back over at Loki. “Are you alright?”
“I heard -- I heard Eir.”
“She’s in the palace.”
Fandral nodded and shook his head. “Right. And I am here with you, my beautiful love, to plan this wedding thing your mother is insisting on.”
Loki snorted and stood on his tip toes to wrap his arms around Fandral’s neck and grinned. “She’s your mother-in-law now!”
“Almost,” Fandral teased back and ducked his head to press his lips to Loki’s.
Eir sighed in disappointment. “Let’s get you kids some breakfast. We’ll try again after lunch.”
Loki was running his fingers up and down the seam of Thor’s shirt, his eyes staying focused on Fandral.
“What happens if he never wakes up? What do we do?” His hands stopped moving. “We won’t burn him, will we?”
“Loki.” Eir moved to the bed and sank down beside him, grasping his shoulders. “Sweetheart, he’s going to wake up. You know how finicky head wounds can be. Just you wait. He’ll wake up before the week’s end and everything would be fine.”
Loki closed his eyes and turned his face back into Thor’s side. Eir sighed and gave Thor a tired smile. “Everything will be all right. You’ll see.”
Thor sighed and ran a tired hand down his face. He glanced over at Sif and shrugged.
“Not it,” she mouthed at him and Thor groaned silently.
He moved forward and put his hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Loki? Eir needs to try again.”
Eight days since they’d brought Fandral home and the man had yet to wake. He’d seized for what felt like hours the day before, but still didn’t open his eyes.
Thor was starting to think he just wouldn’t.
Loki didn’t move from where he was tucked up next to Fandral, their legs wrapped together and the other man’s hand tight in his. Eir could work around him - he wasn’t moving.
Fandral wasn’t waking. Alvöru had left for his tribe on Alfheim to see if they had any insight from the other healers, and Sauma had left for the deserts of Muspelheim to seek out the healers who lived there. Eir had stopped reassuring them that head wounds were tricky, and Loki was fairly relieved by that. He hated having to listen to lies.
Loki kept his ear over Fandral’s heart to listen to the steadying beat and tried to remind himself there was hope so long as his heart was beating.
Eir pressed her hands to Fandral’s head and guided them down, tracing her seidr through the other man as she called out to him. There was no response, as he knew there wouldn’t be. Fandral never responded except in his dreams and he had grown to hate them, refusing to sleep and fall into the trap of believing him well.
He was exhausted, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t want to dream again.
He wanted Fandral to wake up for real.
There was something wrong.
No matter what he did, where he went or what he was doing, there was a constant feeling of something being… off.
There were flickers of Loki’s seidr leaving trails throughout their rooms and the palace itself. But wherever he followed it, it would vanish. Loki couldn’t see it. Thor couldn’t see it, nor could Eir or Frigga.
There were whispers, voices calling out to him and telling him to wake up. To open his eyes and come back.
“I’m here,” he whispered and drew his knees up to his chest. Loki was sleeping beside him, but even that seemed wrong. “Loki? Can you -- can you hear me? I’m here, love.” He reached one hand out and brushed it through Loki’s loose curls and bit his lip. “Loki? What -- what’s happening?”
Eir sighed as she tipped the sleeping draught into the tea the maid had brought. She hated drugging the kids unannounced, but Loki hadn’t slept in three days and he looked terrible. He was going to start suffering for it if something wasn’t done, and it was her duty as healer to prevent illness as well as heal it once it occurred. Even if her patient hated it.
It wouldn’t be the first time she’d had to interfere to prevent him from harming himself. The boy tended to fixate and forget to take care of himself. She still held hope that Fandral would awaken, but she’d have a hel of a time keeping him in bed if Loki was ill.
Pouring the tea into the cups, she didn’t feel the least bit bad about also drugging Sif and Thor. It prevented Loki switching his cup with one of theirs if he smelled a trick, and sleep wouldn’t hurt the other two.
Eir carried the tray into the room and set it on the table. “There was an incident in the kitchens so dinner is slightly delayed.” She handed each of them a cup, raising a threatening eyebrow at Thor when he gave her a confused look. He didn’t often drink tea, but he would drink this.
Loki barely looked at his cup. It was muscle memory more than anything that had him accepting the tea, blowing on it to cool it, and drinking from the cup. His eyes barely left Fandral once, hoping to catch the flutter of an eyelid or the twitch of a finger, but there was nothing.
Eir busied herself about the room, cleaning up minor messes, pushing the chairs in, and checking the supply cupboard. She kept an eye on the three of them and wasn’t the least bit surprised when Loki started swaying first. The boy gave his cup a look of absolute disgust before turning the expression on Eir.
“That’s cheating.”
Eir moved over to the bed. “You need to sleep.” She pointed at the cup. “All of it.”
With a sigh, Loki drained the rest of the tea and handed her the cup. “I’m just going to dream of him and be disappointed,” he muttered, lying down and wrapping himself around Fandral.
“Well then, tell him to wake the fuck up. Maybe he’ll hear you.” She ran a hand over his hair and pulled the blankets up over him. “Or just enjoy him being there. And get some rest.”
Loki huffed. “Like I have a choice.” But he closed his eyes and tucked his face into Fandral’s throat, asleep in seconds.
Eir turned to look at Thor and Sif. “I expect those cups to be empty.”
Fandral watched Loki twitch beside him and sighed as bleary green eyes opened. There was something different about them. Sadder and somehow tired .
“Lo?” He reached over and traced his cheekbone. “I’m here. Can you — can you hear me?”
Loki had been off for the last few days, and every time Fandral closed his eyes, he heard Loki’s voice whispering to him. Begging him to wake up, to hear his voice and come back. He heard Eir, Thor, Sif and thought once he’d even heard Frigga.
“Am I real?” He whispered as Loki blinked at him.
“I wish you were,” Loki said softly, shifting to rest his head on Fandral’s thigh. “But you’re just a dream.” He smiled wearily as he peered up at the man’s face. “A beautiful dream, though. I’m always disappointed when I wake up.”
Eir had drugged him this time, though, so maybe he’d get to stay a little longer. He traced his fingers over Fandral’s hand, sliding their fingers together. When the man’s hand closed around his in return, Loki had to shut his eyes. “I miss you.”
Fandral squeezed Loki’s hand softly. “There’s something wrong,” he said quietly. “Because this — this isn’t a dream. Not for me? You were here already. We were…” he gestured down at his naked lap. “You were sleeping it off.”
Could dream constructs have their own awareness and experiences? Or was his mind just trying to make up answers to the questions in his head?
“You’re not waking up.” He supposed it didn’t matter. But if constructs could be self-aware, if they could have lives even when they weren’t being dreamed of, then this was Fandral, in a way. He supposed. “Eir keeps trying but you won’t wake.” He studied their entwined hands. “I don’t know what happens if you never do.”
“Waking up?” He shifted a little and ran his fingers through Loki’s hair. “Waking up from what? We — we went after the wyrm and then I proposed and… and things have been off since then.”
Loki blinked tiredly, but he didn’t even bother reacting to the knowledge that Fandral had proposed to him. Or believed he had. Or whatever. He had thought the other man might. Had hoped.
“We went after the wyrm,” he agreed, “but there was a cave-in. You were... really hurt.” He tightened his grip around Fandral’s hand. “Eir says you’re healing, but you won’t wake up. It’s been over a week.”
Fandral felt like the bed was being tossed about in the ocean when Loki’s words sunk in.
“I’m — I was hurt?”
A piercing sharp pain in his head made his breath catch and Fandral flung a hand up to it. A ghost sensation of tubes, of a shaved patch of hair and the whisper of a scent of home. Healing. Blood and lavender and Loki and Eir.
Wake up? Please. Please wake up.
I’ll only be a moment. Don’t leave, okay?
Please open your eyes.
“Loki… Loki are you — are you dream walking?”
Loki shrugged. “I don’t think so? I didn’t try.” Maybe he should have tried. “Every time I sleep, I dream of you. But Eir drugged my tea this time, so I’m not waking up like I usually do.”
He stared up at Fandral. How was it he could feel tired in a dream? Was he dream walking?
“Are you real? Are you my Fandral, not just a dream?”
Fandral nodded. “I’ve been seeing your seidr everywhere. But when I follow it, there’s nothing.” He looked down now. “I can see it now, and it’s just you. ”
His heart was racing and his stomach hurt, but Loki’s fingers were warm.
“Lo? I don’t want you to go again. There’s been something off about you for days… because you weren’t sleeping.” He brought Loki’s fingers to his face and kissed them gently. “I don’t want to marry a dream.”
He hadn’t been sleeping. He’d been staying awake as much as possible to not suffer through a dream that turned into a nightmare once he was awake.
“Please wake up?” He stared pleadingly at Fandral. “Please? Wake up with me and come home.”
Fandral nodded slowly. “Help me? Help me wake up? I don’t know how.”
He sighed and rubbed his other hand over his face. “I guess I kind of ruined the surprise too,” he murmured.
Loki pressed a kiss to Fandral’s knuckles. “If it helps, I’ve been waiting for you to ask for a while. Thor has your gift.” He smiled at Fandral. “I haven’t looked at it. I want you to give it to me when you ask.”
He sat up, moving to lean against the headboard next to Fandral and keeping their fingers entwined. “I’m not sure how I keep getting here, so I don’t know how to make you follow me back. You haven’t been following Eir.” He pooled his seidr in his hand, letting it curl around Fandral’s. “We could... I suppose you could just try to stay with me when I wake up? If it doesn’t work, I’ll just come back next time I sleep.”
“Stay with me,” he murmured and rubbed his lips along Loki’s fingers. “I want to wake up. I want to ask you. ”
Fandral shook out the blanket and settled it back over their legs. He flushed a little when the unmistakable clinking of an oil pot sounded as it hit the floor. “We’ve been, uh, celebrating,” he sighed. “I, uh, do you want me to get my pants?”
Loki snorted. “Nah. I don’t care.” He leaned his head on Fandral’s shoulder, ignoring the heated blush of his cheeks. “When you wake up, I’m just going to show you how much better reality is than dreams.”
He pressed a kiss to Fandral’s shoulder. “Have you tried walking your shadows? Are they here too?”
“Reality is better?” Fandral wheezed, and cleared his throat. “Oh.” He carefully and completely unsubtly dragged a cushion over to cover his lap and his very, very interested cock, and rubbed his head along Loki’s.
His shadows… he hadn’t even thought of them.
Fandral brought a hand up and tried to call them and when that failed, he tried to call his seidr. “What -- there’s nothing ,” he murmured.
Loki was warm and real against him, his green seidr shimmering beneath his skin and Fandral could see little wisps and tendrils as it reached out to him. But there was no answering tug of his own, no little curls of shadows to twine about his fingers.
“You still have it in your... in your body. Your seidr is there. You’re there, but you just won’t wake up.” And he desperately hoped this was real, that Fandral was real and this wasn’t a terrible trick of his mind.
He uncurled the fingers of his other hand, calling Yggdrasil. The creak and groan of branches whispered as if from far away, but a flicker of green and gold flashed between his fingers and a small sprig of leaves fell into his hand.
“She’s here, too.” He twirled the spring between his forefinger and thumb and then handed it to Fandral. “Just in case,” he murmured. If you have a part of her, she can always find you.”
Fandral took the little branch and immediately felt calmer. “It’s been missing this whole time,” he realised. “Whenever its not really you… this is what’s missing. Seidr and this .”
He cupped a hand around Loki’s cheek and smiled softly. “When I wake up, I don’t want to court for a year and a day. I want to marry you as soon as possible.” He huffed a laugh and grin. “I’ve let myself talk myself out of asking you for centuries .” Fandral bit his lip and frowned a little. “Lo, my gift! My courting gift to you, it has my seidr in it.” He gripped the branch tight and frowned at it. “Maybe… maybe I can follow it back.”
Loki propped his chin on Fandral’s shoulder, staring at the sprig of Yggdrasil’s leaves in his hand. “Should I ask Thor for it when I get back? I can take it and go onto Yggdrasil. Maybe you can walk her branches back?” He frowned slightly. “I don’t think I could walk her here, but if you can follow your seidr…”
“Please,” he said softly. “I don’t want to live in a dream.”
Fandral tugged on Loki’s hair gently and watched the loose curl as it bounced back into place. “Ask him for it. Bring me home?”
“I won’t let you be stuck here,” Loki promised. “I’ll bring you home.” He turned his head and looked into Fandral’s eyes. They were beautiful, and they’d be even more so when he was awake and back with them.
He could feel a tug on his seidr, like it was being drawn away from him.
He tightened his hand around Fandral’s. “Can I kiss you before I wake up? For luck?”
Fandral ducked his head and pressed his lips to Loki’s. He clutched his fingers tighter in Loki’s hair and murmured against his mouth, “I love you. Find me.”
Loki opened his eyes back in the healing halls, his head resting on Fandral’s chest. His lips tingled with the memory of the kiss and he reached a hand to trace over them, turning to look at Fandral.
He was still unconscious. He hadn’t been able to follow Loki back through when he woke, but that wouldn’t matter. Loki would give him a path to follow.
He threw the blankets back and moved over to the other bed, shaking his brother. “Thor, wake up! I need the gift Fandral was going to give me.”
Thor groaned and waved a lazy hand in the direction of his cloak. “‘S there,” he mumbled. “Not s’posed t’ give it yet.” He yawned and rolled over, burying his face back in Sif’s hair. Everything was heavy and his mind was dragging him back to where it was dark and warm.
Where he wasn’t waiting for the inevitable conversation about Fandral never waking up.
Loki pressed a firm kiss to his brother’s head and simply grabbed his entire cloak. Yggdrasil opened a doorway without him needing to ask and he threw himself through it, dashing along her branches.
He fumbled with Thor’s cloak, pulling the small sack from one of the pockets and clutching it in his hand.
He sank down onto the branch, crossing his legs and resting Thor’s cloak across his lap. He turned the small bag over and over in his hands. He wouldn’t open it. It was for Fandral to give to him. But he traced his seidr over it, twining his magic with the dark blue magic he could feel inside.
He pressed his lips to the bag. “Find me.”
Fandral opened his eyes to a dark and empty room. Loki was gone, as was the bed and the entirety of what he now knew had been a dream construct. The tiny branch of Yggdrasil was flickering in his hand and he smiled down at it.
“Okay,” he murmured. “Let’s go.”
A familiar sensation, one he hadn’t realised he’d been missing flooded through his entire body, dark blue, green and gold. “Seidr. Oh thank fuck,” he breathed.
Find me.
“Loki?” Fandral turned his head, but saw nothing again. Just the darkness and the flickering of Yggdrasil’s little branch. “Right.” He closed his eyes and breathed slowly. Focused on the feeling of Loki’s familiar seidr wrapping around him, the feeling of his own finally reaching back and tugging on his hands.
Find me, Fandral.
“I’m coming,” he said and grinned as the tugging came again, stumbling forwards and walking slowly. “Loki. Keep calling for me.”
Loki smiled at the blue curl of seidr that wrapped around his fingers. “Hello, love. I’m waiting right here for you. Take your time.”
Yggdrasil was creaking and groaning, her branches swaying around him, though the one he sat on remained steady. The one that Fandral would be walking on. Loki studied the branch he was sitting on, fresh and green - young. He traced it with his siedr, felt where it came from, where it went.
“Do you know, Fandral, that this is the branch we came back to Asgard on? You’re walking it now.” He brushed his fingertips along the smooth bark. “There wasn’t a path back to Asgard from where we were. Yggdrasil needed to create a branch, so I flooded it with my seidr, forced it to grow.” He smiled. “I’m right here with you, the whole way. Come back to me.”
The branch was steady, warm and gently glowing with Loki’s seidr, green and gold and warm.
It was easy to follow, to simply let it lead him home. He could hear the faintest whispers of Loki’s voice, drifting back to him along the breeze that sounded like trees swaying and flowers falling.
He clutched the little twig harder in his hand and tried to reach for his own seidr again. Tiny wisps of dark blue reached back and he grinned. “Almost there.”
Loki was twining his seidr around the tendrils of Fandral’s that were reaching out along the path, braiding them together. “The peonies are in bloom right now,” he said, watching the blue and green of their magic like willow vines floating in a river. “I think we should have crowns of pink peonies, Fandral. And I want to wear your colors.”
Yggdrasil’s branches swayed around him, and a doorway opened at his back. Loki turned and glanced at it. He could see the bed through it, and Fandral’s sleeping body.
“Almost home.”
...crowns of pink peonies…
Fandral laughed and nodded. “And I want to wear your colours, Loki.”
Almost home.
The seidr ribbons twisted harder around his hands, pulling him along the branch. There was a doorway opened at the end of the branch, and he could see the healing halls through it.
Almost home .
Fandral let the seidr ribbons pull him closer, though they didn’t tug him through it. They stopped at the doorway and swirled around it. “Guess I have to take this step, huh?”
He looked back behind him at the gentle glow of Loki’s seidr where it was moving through the branch like blood in a vein and grinned as he turned back and stepped through the door.
“Home, my mockingbird. He is home.”
Loki grinned and brushed a hand through Yggdrasil’s leaves. “Thank you so much,” he whispered, and stepped through the doorway.
He landed on the bed, startling the maid, who shrieked and dropped the breakfast tray. Loki didn’t pay her any mind, leaning over Fandral and brushing back his bangs. “Are you back, my love?”
Fandral’s entire body was aching, his lips were dry and his head was sore. But there was a familiar hand stroking through his hair and pressing against him.
“L--” he coughed and groaned as he forced his eyes to slowly open. A few bleary blinks to try and clear his vision, and Fandral gave a lopsided grin at the faintly blurry face above him. “‘lo Loki. You --- marry me.”
“Absolutely,” Loki said, and pressed a kiss to his lips. He brushed a hand over Fandral’s cheek. “I’m going to get you some water.” He grinned. “And wake Thor and Sif.”
Loki pushed himself off the bed, grabbed the pillow Fandral wasn’t using, and flung it at Thor on the way out his door. “Brother, someone is awake! Get up!”
He trotted out of the room and down the hall to Eir’s office, knocking on the door before shoving it open with a grin. “Eir!” He grinned at the woman as she looked up from the papers on her desk. “Fandral’s awake.”
The woman shoved herself out of her seat. “When?” She ran toward the door.
“Just moments ago.” Loki moved out of her way and followed after her down the hall. “I’m going to get him some water. He’s really hoarse.”
“You do that,” Eir snapped, and shoved through the door to Fandral’s room.
Fandral wiped his sweaty palms over his pants again and took a deep breath.
He’d decided against decorating the gardens and just repeating what he’d done in his mind.
This time, he’d just let himself into Loki’s rooms. He glanced around, grinning at everything. All of his belongings fit in amongst Loki’s like they’d simply always been there. His paintings that he’d done over the years on the walls, his favourite bolts of fabric draped around Loki’s bedposts and mingling with the ones already there. Books stacked in among Loki’s own, trinkets and baubles everywhere. Toiletries and clothes all mixed up together, like they’d been that way for years and not hours.
The door opened and Fandral whipped his head around, grinning like a fool as he dropped down on one knee and held the bracelet out to Loki.
“I really hope you say yes, because I’ve kind of already moved in,” he said and when Loki burst into laughter he stood and opened his arms. “I also recall you promising to show me that reality was better?”
*