Chapter Text
Ever since he was a young boy running around his backyard with his younger brother hot on his tail yelling familiar yet harmless threats after Wei Wuxian egged him on with playful hits to his ego, and ultimately irritating him, Wei Wuxian believed he would never be worthy enough of someone's care. This thought had never been one that agonized his mind throughout his childhood, Wei Wuxian just knew as if it were second nature. Maybe it was due to the fact he knew handling himself would be too much of a burden to others, but no matter, it was the solid conclusion he deciphered and understood from a young age.
Wei Wuxian is a free-spirit with a ego so mighty not even the severest of punishments could waver his confidence. He had zero sense of boundary and personal space, often flirting with young girls his age for a sense of enjoyment and never expecting anything more to bloom from it. Almost everyone understood Wei Wuxian's shamelessness was simply a part of him; and ultimately what came along with being his friend. By now those who wanted nothing to do with Wei Wuxian strayed from his path, but those who stuck around never failed to be at his side no matter the amount of times Wei Wuxian found himself in trouble with adults. But no adult could stop him; he had all he needed within himself, he was free to do what he wished no matter the consequence that was bound to follow suit.
This is why, the second he laid eyes upon a boy just about the same height as he walking around the halls with a stack of three books in arms, heading to his next class amongst a crowd of other students, Wei Wuxian had his eyes glued to the familiar face as he halted dead in his tracks to stare just a bit longer. Wei Wuxian felt his mind go into haywire. Lan Wangji, a complete introvert compared to his older brother, purposely staying away from anybody and everybody, but showing up amidst chaos to place a stop to it. Wei Wuxian would be lying if he denied that Lan Wangji had to pull him off a few boys more often than not. Other than that the two seldom conversed unless Wei Wuxian initiated such contact and annoyed his acquaintance deliberately.
But never had he imagined someone, amongst all those around him, would find something so special about him, yearn to understand each part of his personality and body, to witness each crevice of him and figure out each side of him as if solving a jigsaw puzzle. Wei Wuxian often foresaw people by reading their emotions, them failing to surprise him, yet Lan Wangji was the only person whom could catch him off guard, keep him on his feet, draw him nearer with intrigue. Wei Wuxian wished to know more about him; wished to understand and know everything about this man who was as silent and cold as the evening breeze.
---
Wei Wuxian never could have imagined living without the familiar weight on his left hand on his ring finger, often reaching to that particular spot to twist a silver ring around when anxious or embarrassed. Without that piece of materialistic joy on his finger, it was yet another physical reminder of his foolishness and lack in understanding others. He felt empty, alone, a sensation so foreign to him with all the friends that surrounded themselves around him. But what is the point when the only person that truly mattered to him was gone from his life, and possibly hated him?
The ring that once settled on his finger now hung from a silver chain he kept on his chest beneath his clothing, the coolness of metal brushing against his heart where every time the metal brushed lightly over his skin like the tips of familiar fingers, the image of a stoic, silent man came to mind, overwhelming his senses with the need to reach out to that figure through his mind and never let him go, or turn his back on him and walk way. Wei Wuxian was determined to keep such a memorable and important item hidden - especially from Lan Wangji. What would he think of him knowing Wei Wuxian continued to wear the ring on his person? Well, Lan Wangji hadn't exactly asked for the ring back, so he assumed it was fine to keep it for now. If he was ever questioned, he could simply make the excuse that he didn't want to lose such an expensive ring.
"Daddy?"
Wei Wuxian startled from his thoughts, and glanced over to see a boy with black bangs beginning to cover his eyes due to its growing length. He wore a lilac long sleeved shirt and black slacks - a style Lan Wangji tended to dress him in. Wei Wuxian often called him out for "torturing our son with unbearable and suffocating clothing", but never made an attempt to change the boy into something different. Lan Wangji did most of the clothing shopping; Wei Wuxian simply critiqued the choice in clothes (Lan Wangji had amazing fashion choices, Wei Wuxian just wouldn't admit his six year old child had better fashion tastes than him).
"What is it?" he responded.
No matter how many times he was called "Daddy" by little A-Yuan, the term would never fail to send his heart aflutter. When he had first heard such a name he believed A-Yuan had been talking to Lan Wangji; until the child latched onto his pant leg and grinned up at him with a toothy smile displaying his baby teeth and incoming adult teeth.
Sizhui was adopted by both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, after a dear friend of Wei Wuxian, Wen Qing, mentioned she had little time between shifts working in the medical field to be a proper adult figure for Sizhui. Sizhui's name came from Lan Wangji when his husband decided it would be best to give the child a chance to move on past the grief of his parents, as he was so young when it had occurred. Though Wei Wuxian calls him A-Yuan more often than not just to either tease the child, or soften him up. It was nice to remind the child that it was fine to grieve, but also fine to be happy. Wen Qing had taken him in when A-Yuan's parents had died, and decided he needed parental figures that would be there for him more often than she due to the clouded schedules of being a doctor. When Wei Wuxian had brought this conversation to his husband the same night as the two sat in bed; Lan Wangji reading a book, while Wei Wuxian curled a strand of his hair around his finger as he bothered his unfazed his husband with many questions about his day at work, before blabbering about his job.
"Oh yeah, sometimes Jin Zixuan needs a good punch to the face, huh Wangji? Oh, did I mention Wen Qing needs someone to take care of A-Yuan?"
After that it was a long conversation about adoption and moving forward with their marriage and life together. But Wei Wuxian never regret a thing, he had a child to take care of alongside his soon to be ex-husband whom continued to have parental rights. Wei Wuxian would never be so cruel as to take away Sizhui not when he himself still very much cared for Lan Wangji. Though, haven't not seen the man in quite awhile due to him traveling for the sake of work, he believed maybe Lan Wangji didn't feel the same way about him.
Just thinking about the man made his heart drop like stones into his stomach. Lan Wangji had been his first for most things, and suddenly losing that person who had been more than his brick wall, more than his stability, leaving with all of Wei Wuxian's mixed feelings and lost words on his person; it derived him and filled him with a fatigue that only came with losing the one you love. For a reason too stupid, of all things.
Wei Wuxian hated him. But he loved him all the while. Part of him couldn't hate him, but maybe he was forcing that little spark of hope in his chest down by making himself consider all the negatives, exaggerate the truth and bury his feelings just as he had when he first met Lan Wangji, just to find some logical reason not to make his mixed feelings one-sided. Lan Wangji owned a cold exterior with a soft inside; however, when was he one to stick around those owned ill intention and were not worth his time nor help? It was so painful.
"Daddy, you're off in your own world again." Sizhui owned a cute pout on his lips grimy of the stew Wei Wuxian had (attempted) cooking. A-Yuan wasn't whining or making disgusted expressions, so Wei Wuxian assumed he had done a decent job. Though, maybe Sizhui was trying to make him feel better - he was a smart kid, after all. Both sides had tried to keep little Sizhui from their arguments and over all divorcing process, but Wei Wuxian couldn't count the amount of times the boy made a comment on the excessive amount of liquor bottles, or how Wei Wuxian seldom kissed Lan Wangji goodbye in the morning. It was simple child observation, but the child had always been curious with questions, and often used that child-like curiosity to his advantage. Wei Wuxian always adored that about his son, getting it from both sides of his adoptive parents, but in this case it had been severely different. Wei Wuxian wished to keep Sizhui from knowing each detail, and was certain he knew it, because he never asked.
Wei Wuxian stifled a chuckle and leaned to side to squeeze the child's chubby cheek. He pouted slightly, "A-Yuan... you're very observant for your age. Soon enough you'll be smarter than all the kids your grade."
Sizhui offered a shy smile in return to his daddy's compliment and placed his smaller hand over the bigger one that rested on his face. "Sizhui's name is Sizhui."
"But you're my A-Yuan... you keep me company."
Sizhui whined, but it held no hate. Then a familiar grin of teeth came to display, Sizhui's eyes disappearing into crescent moons as he giggled and leaned into Wei Wuxian's touch. Wei Wuxian couldn't help his own smile blooming on his face as his thumb caressed the soft skin beneath Sizhui's eye. Once he pulled away he straightened himself out and cleared his throat.
"A-Yuan... you distracted me too much and now my soup is cold. You barely even started yours. You better eat it or I'll eat it for you."
Sizhui wrapped both of his little arms around his bowl of stew and pulled it close to his chest. He pouted at his father.
"No, this is A-Yuan's bowl~" he said cutely, emphasizing the name Wei Wuxian often used with him.
"Ay aya aya, okay." Wei Wuxian leaned over, just for his son to lean away, refusing to give up his stew. "A-Yuan, I'm not going to take your stew. Come on, let go of it now, you're getting your hair into it."
Sizhui glanced down to see the tips of his hair slightly dipping into the liquid due to hovering over the stew as if it were his favorite toy. He leaned away and placed his bowl back into position in front of him to settle his father's concern. Wei Wuxian sighed and sat back down, twirling his spoon inside the bowl absentmindedly. No matter how many times he would cook - no matter how good it tasted, or whether it made him want to puke - nothing would taste better than his sister's lotus rib soup, or Lan Wangji's cooking. But to taste Wangji's cooking again is considered a dream.
Wei Wuxian caught Sizhui staring at him again, and he made delivered a small chuckle, before setting down his choice in silverware. "Go. Eat." Sizhui hurried back to stuff his face with the stew, arising a soft smile out of his father.
"Don't eat too fast, your stomach won't able to handle it." He said those words, yet made no effort to stop his son from drinking down the bowl in a matter of minutes.
...
Messages
1:01 PM from Hanguang-Jun:
Have you decided on a schedule.
1:03 PM from Wei Ying:
Not yet.
1:04 PM from Hanhuang-Jun:
Let me know. Have to adjust my work schedule."
1:07 PM from Wei Ying:
Okie dokie.
"Is that daddy?" Sizhui asked as he peeked over Wei Wuxian's shoulder. Wei Wuxian impulsively hid the text messages away, but gave it upon looking at his son's big, dark eyes staring wonders at him.
"Yeah."
"Can I call him?!" Sizhui was already making his way onto his father's lap, dismissing all his paperwork and sitting on them instead. Wei Wuxian emit a soft "Ay!" before carefully pulling the papers beneath the child's butt and setting it on the table.
"Not right now. He's working."
Sizhui's pout was evident, his brows furrowing together in protest when Wei Ying's phone suddenly buzzed with another text.
1:09 PM from Hanguang-Jun:
How are you and Sizhui?
Wei Wuxian had to read the text message a few times to make sure his eyes weren't tricking him; it took most of his power to not topple over, for Sizhui's sake. The child seemed to sense this as his hands clutched onto his shirt for a strong hold. This was a basic everyday question, but for some reason it continued to shock Wei Wuxian to no end. He still asked?
1:10 PM from Wei Ying:
Sizhui is doing good, he just finished eating lunch and now we're relaxing at home while I grade some papers.
Wei Wuxian faltered, thumbs momentarily stopping on the screen as he debated his next text. Was asking about Wei Ying a simple mask just to be polite? No, that wasn't right. Hanguang-Jun was, most of the time, truthful with both his actions and his words. If Wei Wuxian was stepping past a boundary his to-be-ex-husband never hesitated to call him out for him, and vise-versa. Through his inner coils, he unconsciously darted his thumbs across the keypad.
1:12 from Wei Ying:
I'm doing okay. Work is taking most of my time besides A-Yuan. Thankfully we share custody over-
Wei Wuxian halted and shook his head, frantically deleting the last part of the message.
1:12 from Wei Ying:
I'm doing okay. Work is taking most of my time besides A-Yuan. I bet work is still taking up most of your time.
He hadn't intended the last part to be as bitter as it came out to be, but Wei Wuxian had felt it was right to type that. Though, knowing Lan Wangji, the man certainly could read attitude even through text.
When Wei Wuxian couldn't even get a read on his text, he assumed the man had returned back to work. He set his phone down and ran a hand over Shizui's head delicately. The boy clung onto him and snuggled into his chest, depending on Wei Wuxian to hold onto his weight - which was close to nothing.
"Ah, you're so light, A-Yuan. Did that soup not fill you up all the way? Hm?" He poked at the child lightly, receiving a few screeches and giggles.
"No~ A-Yuan is very full."
Wei Wuxian hummed at that and wrapped his arms around the child. "Good, because you'll need all that energy to play!"
Wei Wuxian was unable to be a homebody, no matter how exhausted he was; his childhood was full of adventure and getting into trouble with his brother. Having to sit still and be inanimate was probably one of the hardest things he could do, he had to be doing something in order to feel accomplished and fill his meter of enjoyment for the day. He had been trying to get Sizhui out everyday to play, so he could have fun as well.
"Daddy, when will Papa be able to play with us again?"
Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow, "You do play with your Dad."
"No, together. Now I only get to play with Daddy one day, then Papa the other. I want to play with you both!"
It was as if a knife had pierced his flesh, tearing through it and hitting the mark directly in his heart. The pain was inevitable, it surged through his bloodstream like a rocket, curling his muscles tight and his eyebrows curt as the ring beneath his clothes suddenly felt it were burning. It took Wei Wuxian a moment to realize it was his own body flush with newfound emotion he conquered only at night when he was alone with himself and could observe each emotion piece by pathetically broken piece. Wei Wuxian was not a fine piece of human; in fact, he was easily vulnerable to his own emotions. He hid and buried his feelings so him nor others would have to face them. Until he met Lan Wangji, who opened his eyes and unfoiled him into spilling everything to him despite his cool composure. Not many people could do such a thing; and now without that comfort, Wei Wuxian had no clue how to battle his inner self. It was driving him insane.
Wei Wuxian forced himself to swallow the building lump in his throat, whether it be bitterness or yearning, he cared less and locked those emotions up in a chest in the back of his mind for the time being. He would deal with that mess later, because right now Sizhui was his priority. Wei Wuxian placed his hands on the boy's shoulders and smiled.
"I'll try."
That seemed to be enough to convince Sizhui for the time being. The child nodded and, with a new revelation to play, he ran off to put on his shoes in front of the door. Wei Wuxian shook his head, watching his back before standing and following in his footsteps.
"Where do you want to go today?"
"Toy store!" Sizhui exclaimed.
"Ah-" Wei Wuxian placed his hands on his hips and shook his head at his son, "You have enough toys already, your dad buys you so many. Now you want more and more, huh, A-Yuan? You're spoiled."
Sizhui giggled and ran to cling onto his dad's leg, a motive he used whenever he was up to no good. He did it to everybody to act cute, because Sizhui, the troublemaker, knew he could get what he wanted most of the time. It was how he sucked his Father into doing everything for him.
"If you're good, then maybe," Wei Wuxian said, "You're lucky that you're cute."
With that final resolution, Wei Wuxian offered his hand to the young boy standing at his side. Sizhui wrapped his little hand around two fingers of his father. "Can we ask Uncle Jiang if Jin Ling can come?"
"Mmm..." Wei Wuxian pocketed his cellphone, "How about we just show up? surprise them a little. My sister should still be working, so I don't think she will mind very much if we take him out."
"Uncle will get mad."
"Uncle will be fine."
Sizhui didn't seem too sure, but still followed his overly confident father out the door, being sure to grab the butterfly toy left besides his slippers at the entrance and holding it close to him.