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“So dad said, I could help him with his new project! Don't you think it's amazing?”
Penny laughs and nods which makes her image pixelate a bit. “Yes. Yes it is, love. Hadn't you been pestering him for ages to-”
Crash!
I jump, completely surprised by the sudden noise, and so does Penny. A moment later, however, she groans and pinches the bridge of her nose, looking thoroughly fed up and like she is going to punch or slap someone or do both.
“Simon, Baz!” She hollers, sounding terrifying. She is usually so gentle with me, I forget that she can make people piss their pants by just glaring at them.
“What the actual fuck are you two doing?” She yells again when she gets no response except a breathless 'oh fuck'.
“S-sorry Pen!” I hear Simon yell back this time. His voice sounds a bit weird and tinny and it's kind of funny.
“How many times have I told you two to not fucking snog in the kitchen?”
“We weren't-”
“Bloody liar.” She growls and gives me an apologetic look and I shrug, trying hard not to laugh.
“Just wait a second, love.” She says, smiling at me before she gets up from her bed and marches out of her room while I hear the sounds of a vague fight and struggles and sheepish retorts that follow, mainly because they are still yelling.
“We weren't snogging!”
“Like hell you weren't. That's all you two ever fucking do. Snog around the house and make me sick with that gratuitous flirting.”
“Bunce-”
“If I find you two together in the kitchen again, without any third person, I will curse off your sorry asses and spell the kitchen in a way that keeps out both of you. And that means no midnight snacks for you, Simon Snow.”
“Penny, that's cruelty!”
“Shut it. The mental scars I have because of walking in on you two making out in the kitchen or on the couch is cruelty.”
“Bunce-”
“I'll set you on fire, Basilton, if you pull that shit again.”
Then I hear stomping and a few moments later, Penny re appears on the screen, looking exasperated.
“I'm honestly so fucking glad they weren't dating in Watford. They would have had driven the entire school crazy, I swear. Like, I've already been driven half mad with their antics.”
She shakes her head and gives a small laugh. It's fond because despite everything, I know Penny cares a lot about those two.
“I don't think they will dare kiss in the kitchen for a while now. You've scared them proper.”
“Oh, I bloody well hope so.” She mumbles, rolling her eyes.
I am about to say something when there is another crash and it's followed by an indignant squak by Baz. Penny looks murderous, her eyes flashing with rage, and I know Simon and Baz have been done for.
“We weren't doing anything Bunce, I swear.” I hear Baz call out nervously. “Simon is just a clumsy tit.”
And Penny is shaking with silent laughter.