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The lower decks crew, myself included, had been invited by Captain Janeway to join her for dinner. She wanted to get to know us better and bond with us. She had already started to do this with me more privately, acknowledging that she liked me and I liked her.
The table in the staff meeting room had been decorated with replicated flowers and fine glassware, crockery and cutlery. More fancier that that in the mess hall. Neelix had cooked and replicated a delicious smelling selection of Talaxian meat and vegetarian dishes.
Across the table, amongst the vibrant conversation, the Captain, Kathryn, as she had asked me to call her on what could be described as a date (a secret one at that), and I discreetly made eye contact. My fellow crew mates paled into insignificance in her presence.
The group spoke about all manner of subjects, from professional development to career aspirations, hobbies to favourite holonovels. Then the conversation turned to
family. Others spoke about the family they had left behind, the family they missed and the family they would perhaps one day have.
All the talk of families triggered my emotions and bought back traumatic memories. I was an only child who had been parentless since the age of 22. My family, those who meant the world to me, those acquired by love and science, had been lost in a single day five years ago - my child-to-be physically and my wife emotionally. She was never the same after that day and our marriage had slipped steadily to its inevitable end. It was an end I had not wanted.
The pain and sadness welled up inside me and I fought to hold back tears. Some of my crew mates knew my story, some didn’t. But I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it.
I drew my eyes away from the spot on the table I had been focusing on and looked upward to find Kathryn’s beautiful blue eyes looking at me. There was a look of soft concern on her face, her eyebrows raised slightly. She smiled at me. I smiled weakly back at her, emotion still heavy within me.
The minutes seemed to go by in a blur and then the dinner finished. We all thanked the Captain and rose from our chairs to make our way out of the room. Then I heard the Captain, Kathryn, calling me, her voice professional, yet warm.
“Ensign Tompkins, can I see you for a moment.”
I turned to face her as she approached me. The others had left quickly and we were all alone. She reached me, stopping close to me.
“Are you ok?” She asked.
Her concern was comforting.
“Yes.” I said somewhat weakly, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself.
She touched the inside of my arm, the crook of my elbow, with her hand and lingered there for a moment. I felt a warm sensation spread through my body. All nervousness I felt previously in her company, all sadness, dissipated.
Our eyes met across the silence, the connection intense. Suddenly the distance, both physical and across levels of command, disappeared. We were just two women about to act on a mutual attraction.