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“You seem to have found a spot in my body”
The vibration of Boris’s voice waked him up from his musings.
“Is curious because I could have said it was the other way around” a soft, silent laugh came out from below, undetectable if it weren’t because of the tremors on the chest against his cheek. “Do you think they’re listening?” he whispered against the bare skin, feeling the warmth of his own breath back to him.
“Probably” And the word lingered in the room for a while before he continued ”But you have been particularly quiet tonight...” Silence “I wish you were like that more often”
“I thought you liked the way I am?” he asked with an accusatory tone, slightly lifting his head to send a fake offended look and get a better view through the darkness.
“I do” silence ”Although sometimes I worry about you” Boris’s eyes fixed with his; frankness and determination pronounced on the lines of his frown. That’s enough to make him win this argument.
Before Valery laid down his head over his chest again, Boris was able to devise a tiny glimpse of sadness in his eyes, evidenced by the vague moonlight that entered through the window.
“I like it here” silence ”The sound of your heart beating… reminds me you’re alive” but the bitter tone in which the words came out of those sweet lips was Boris proof of the haunting thoughts of a man who didn’t allow himself to reconcile with happiness.
The only thing I can’t protect you from, Valery. Your own head.
“Valery…” He said trying to capture back his attention back. It worked, but the thousand hues of blue of his beautiful eyes already got the corruption of toxic thoughts of fatality and guiltiness crossing his mind in that precise moment.
He gently grasped the hand Valery was resting on his chest right above his heart, slowly breaking the stiffness of his fingers with his own and lacing their hands together in the most serene and reassuring way he could manage, drawing invisible paths on the inside of his fingers.
“I’ll always be by your side”
Silence .
“You’re older than me.” He sentenced and laid his head back to the bare chest, somewhat disappointed for the vague promise.
“Oh… and what’s that supposed to mean?” Boris asked in a cheerful tone.
Silence .
“Hey...” He said when he noticed his intent to change Valery’s mood hasn’t changed “I meant it, Valery. I’ll be always by your side”
Valery didn’t look up but acknowledged his attempt pressing back at Boris's fingers, trying to communicate forbidden words through the skin of their fingers.
Reassured, Boris's right hand idly stroke the back of Valery’s neck, twisting his curl between his fingers, the feathery brush sending shivers through his spine and producing a delicious warmth that spread from his heart trough to all the rest of his body.
Immerse in the sweetness of the gesture, he finally relaxed and let sleep take over him.
--
He put his jacket and took a long drag of the cigarette, not sure if it tasted the same anymore.
He wishes he'd retained the flavor or the short relief of the smoke running trough his lungs, forcing his worries away. He wishes he'd retained at least that so it wouldn’t be so hard to replicate the feeling.
He closed his eyes, concentrating on the memories, trying to transport his soul to that peaceful moment.
The tickling of the rope lying loosely against his neck didn’t feel at all like what he remembered, but it didn’t matter any longer.