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"You are so stupid!" Loki complained loudly as he dragged his brother up onto his bed.
Thor's head lolled somewhat, his limbs heavy and almost limp to Loki's manhandling. He tried to help the best he could, to assist Loki and his own recovery, but his wounds had left him weakened. He felt lethargic, somewhat slow, and very sore. Despite his injuries, Thor's sense of self-preservation had enabled him to escape from the monster, and sneak up to Loki's balcony. However, his sense of self-preservation was failing him when it came to not smiling at his brother's scolding.
"Idiot!" Loki grunted, finally propping Thor against the headboard. Thor knew that his brother was trying to be gruff, trying to treat him coldly as punishment, and yet he still felt that Loki's touch was full of care. Loki could have dropped him, for instance. He could have let Thor hit his head, and only say that it'd take more to hurt a skull as thick as Thor's. But instead, Loki's hands had eased him down. In trying his best not to be gentle, Loki was far more telling.
"What were you thinking?" Loki growled, shoving Thor's dangling leg onto the bed as he turned away, rushing to grab what potions he had on hand. "Oh, that's right," he continued to himself, his voice dripping with bitterness. "You weren't thinking at all! The Mighty Thor only thinks with his big muscles!"
Thor said nothing. Not because he felt he deserved Loki's scolding, but rather because he liked to hear it. Having Loki so angry with him actually filled him with a great sense of pride. He was also just too exhausted to argue with Loki about the glory of being a warrior. He couldn't slay the beast he had been hunting... (without his father's knowledge)... so he took Loki's ire as his consolation prize. To him, it meant that despite his brother's protests and feigned disinterest, if Loki could be so angry and shaken up about a bit of spilled blood, then he still cared.
Besides, Loki would be discreet about this. He could scold Thor all he wanted, but Loki's anger was preferable to Odin's wrath.
At least... Thor thought so, until he noticed that as his normally composed younger brother went to retrieve the necessary vials, the rest were knocked over. They clattered across Loki's desk and rolled onto the floor where they shattered, making Thor startle. Loki cursed under his breath, but he had grabbed what he needed and quickly returned to Thor's side. Thor couldn't help but notice Loki's hands were shaking.
"Loki," Thor said, hoping to reassure his brother.
"Shut up," Loki hissed, setting the vials aside only long enough to rip open Thor's shirt. "How could you be so reckless?!"
Thor fell quiet, only because he had forgotten what he even meant to say. His heart was pounding. Oh how he would have loved to have Loki tear off his clothes any other time, and it was only happening now because Loki needed to stop him from bleeding to death.
It was only then, when Loki began putting healing potions into his wounds, that Thor realized just how much blood there was. It stained Loki's clothes, his bed, his floor, his balcony. It was still pouring out of Thor's chest. The only place there wasn't any blood was in Loki's face, because he had gone perfectly pale, a mask of fear.
"Hey," Thor said, feeling groggy as he put a clumsy hand to Loki's cheek. "I'm gonna be okay," he said. And then Loki's face had color, because Thor had smeared him with it.
For a moment, Loki was speechless. His eyes were fearful, mouth parted in disbelief as if Thor had just told him something awful. Thor thought it was probably in poor taste that he wanted more than anything to lean up and take advantage of Loki's shock by stealing a kiss. He wanted to taste Loki's sweet mouth, the softness and the hard edges of it. He wanted take away Loki's fear and doubts, and not relent until all of Loki's emotions had been lit into desire, so that in at least one thing they could finally be the same.
Loki was no mind reader. He did not suddenly soften in realization and lean down to kiss Thor, despite what Thor would have feverishly hoped for. Nor did he recoil in horror, as Thor would more realistically expect if his true feelings were ever known. Instead, Loki slipped back into anger, glaring down at his brother. And, Thor thought to himself, he's still gorgeous.
"You're not okay, you imbecile. You could have died," Loki said, his voice breaking somewhat, and now Thor no longer found it so endearing. Now he was just worried. Not for himself, but for what he was putting Loki through. "You could still die. You're a complete idiot, you know that?"
"Yeah," Thor admitted, with a self-deprecating smile that was as painful for Loki to see as it was for Thor to make. "That's why I have you."
Loki made a strange choking noise, and Thor was afraid that Loki was going to cry. Thor couldn't bear it if he did. But instead Loki visibly gritted his teeth and planted a heavy hand on Thor's wound, both physically stanching the flow of blood and beginning to pour almost excessive amounts of healing seidr into Thor's body.
"Why do you do this to me?" Loki sighed, full of anxiety. "I'm not a very good healer."
"Because if I went to anyone else, father would find out and kill me," Thor said.
"As soon as you're healed, I'm going to kill you."
"I can see now why you're not very good at the healing arts," Thor quipped, and Loki burst into nervous laughter, closer to sobbing than genuine mirth. The pain-filled laughter evaporated just as quickly, leaving tension in the air, but Thor was grateful. Loki closed his eyes, as if he couldn't bear to look at Thor. He quietly sat by Thor's side, focusing on his magic and taking deep breaths that spoke of his underlying panic.
Thor watched him for a moment, finally feeling a real pang of guilt settle into his chest. He would be okay – of course he would. Loki would never let Thor die, even if he had to claw his soul out of the afterlife. But he would never forgive himself for working Loki into such a state. He had expected scolding, maybe a little concern, but seeing Loki unravel was too much. Thor wished he had just gone to the healers instead, or even directly to his mother. But feeling his bone and flesh knit back together from Loki's touch... feeling his brother's seidr curl in his blood... he would carry this with him, always.
"Thor!" Loki's panicked voice startled Thor back to his senses. Had he been drifting off? He felt one of Loki's hands cupping his jaw, the other still laid on his chest. Thoughtlessly, Thor tried to nuzzle against Loki's palm, and succeeded in doing so before he caught himself. He looked up to find Loki staring at him, eyes full of concern.
"Don't worry," Thor said, but he could hear the heaviness in his own voice, and he could hardly keep his eyes open.
Loki looked stricken, but managed to reply with muted sarcasm. "You lost a lot of blood and now you're losing consciousness in my bed; why would I worry?"
"I'm just tired," Thor said, but quickly realized he was far from being reassuring. "You've done a fine job, Loki. I can feel it. I think I only need to rest for a while."
Loki didn't look relieved. Thor could still feel Loki's seidr flowing into him, now at a more controlled rate. He did feel better. His chest still ached, but his breathing wasn't agonized anymore, and he knew his flesh was mended. As much blood as he had lost, Thor knew that he had seen worse. All he needed now was some rest, to let his body replenish itself and recover. If Loki truly thought he would die, Thor had no doubt that his brother would not be lingering here. But he knew Loki would still worry.
Thor laid his hand on top of Loki's and began to idly stroke his fingers against Loki's skin. He felt Loki flinch in nervous response, his hand flexing under Thor's, but he did not pull away. Thor took it as a small victory and kept up his small, comforting motions even after his eyes drifted shut. It was easier to just focus on his own breathing, and Loki's, and on the silky touch of Loki's skin under his.
It was quiet for a moment, for an eternity. Thor was close to sleep when Loki spoke to him.
"Do you want me to bring you back to your own bed?"
"No," Thor answered immediately, thoughtlessly. "I'd rather be in yours."
"And where am I supposed to sleep?"
Thor opened his eyes again, blinking slowly, and then stretched out his arms in a lazy, welcoming gesture. He expected nothing, but a moment later Loki sank into his embrace. Loki was warm and pliant and Thor was eager to wrap his arms around him, pulling him closer.
"Lie still!" Loki scolded, pushing at Thor's shoulder, but it did nothing to move his oafish brother. Thor only chuckled and settled heavily on his side, his arms locked around Loki's slighter frame.
"I'm only doing this to make sure you don't die in your sleep," Loki grumbled, making himself comfortable against Thor's side. "I'm not sure an idiot's death will earn you a seat in Valhalla."
"I will endeavor not to die on you," Thor promised, a smirk on his lips, and against Loki's hair. "The Valkyries themselves would have to drag me away. I would rather stay by your side."
He felt Loki huff in reply, breath hot against his throat. Loki's cool hand once again laid itself across Thor's chest, almost as if to comfort himself that Thor was still there. "You would be foolish to choose me over paradise." But his nervous, fiddly fingers against Thor's chest contradicted his words.
"Nothing could be called paradise if it did not have you there," Thor confessed quietly. He was tired, but his exhaustion could not be to blame for his words. He had chosen them purposefully. He wanted Loki to hear. Let him make of it what he would. Thor squeezed Loki tighter, pressing his face into Loki's hair. "I love you."
"You're hallucinating. Go to sleep, brother," Loki chided, sounding more breathless than scornful. "In the morning, you'll be scrubbing my floors."
"Gladly," Thor smiled, letting his head drop back onto Loki's pillow. What he wouldn't give to be in Loki's bed, to have Loki in his arms, any other day. Every day. But this was fine. For now. "Thank you," he said, and he meant it.
Loki didn't reply. Not until Thor was deeply sunk into blissful darkness, surrounded with Loki's warmth and sweet scent. When Loki finally replied, it seemed like his voice came from far away, and at the same time, it was perfectly clear to Thor's ears.
"I love you, too."
Thor wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not.
"Idiot," Loki added affectionately.
Definitely not dreaming.