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“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.” Ruby closes her comic. She shoves herself up off the comfy library seat. She heads for the door. It’s a long walk through Ironwood’s Atlesian house back to her room. She better get going.
“But it looked like you were doing something. I’d like to know what. I love learning. My father says—”
“I said, nothing! I’m doing nothing.” Ruby clenches her fists. “Please.” She sighs. “Just leave me alone.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. Did I offend you in any way? My father said I need to learn from my mistakes and—”
“Look, Pe—you, I just, I can’t be around you.” Ruby wraps her arms around herself. “It’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. I—”
“I remind you of her, don’t I?”
Ruby squeezes her eyes shut. Opens them. Finally looks at Penny 2.0. “Yes. You’re just like her. In every way. Except.” She hiccups. “You’re not her.”
It was a mistake Ruby only actually ever made once, but one she almost made at least a hundred more times since their arrival in Atlas. Thinking that this Penny, this second version, was the original.
The excitement Ruby felt the first time she saw her, the hope. She remembered how it had all been crushed when she’d gone in for a hug and Penny 2.0 hadn’t hugged back. How it withered as Ironwood explained this wasn’t the same Penny, her Penny, but a second (updated) version created using the same blueprints. They had already invested so much in the “Penny Project”, they couldn’t just give it up, but they couldn’t bring the first Penny back either.
Ruby tried so hard to not judge Penny 2.0 for something she has no control over. She tried to be her friend, but every time she looked at her, Ruby ached. She hadn’t meant to start avoiding Penny 2.0, but they were already drawing Grimm to their location with the relic. Her emotions wouldn’t help anything. It was better for everyone if she were able to bury them deep, deep down. Better not to think about it. Better not to let herself feel the hurt.
Ruby doesn’t want to hate Ironwood and Mr. Polendina for thinking they could just replace Penny, but she finds it extremely hard not to. So, she walks away.
“I don’t want to be her,” Penny 2.0 whispers.
Ruby stops.
“I don’t.” Penny 2.0 sniffles. “I know I’m supposed to, that everyone wants me to, expects me to. But I don’t want to.” She wipes her eyes with the palm of her hand. There’s no tears there (whether or not she’s capable of producing them, Ruby isn’t sure), but it’s a human gesture all the same. “I hate it. I want to be me. I don’t even know who that is.” She hiccups. Then, in an even softer voice, “I just want to stop hurting people like you. The ones who knew her.”
Ruby turns around. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t choose this.”
“But, you’re still hurt.” Penny 2.0 gazes steadily. “Being around me hurts you, no matter how much I try to be your friend. I’ve…” she trails off. “I’ve read her diaries. I know how close you two were. I know it’s not fair of me, but I thought, since you knew her so well, you could help me figure out who I am. Help me know how to become someone entirely different than her.” She bits her bottom lip. “Now, understand that all I’ve ever done is hurt you. I apologize. I’ll leave you alone.”
“You—Penny, wait.” Ruby stops Penny 2.0 from leaving. “Yeah, it hurts, it hurts a lot that you look exactly like the Penny I knew. I’m not going to lie to you.” She takes a deep breath. “But I’d also like to help you. This isn’t fair to you either. You deserve to get to be your own person.” Ruby puts a hand on Penny 2.0’s shoulder. “She’d want that for you and I think she’d want me to help. But.” She puts a finger up to stop Penny 2.0 from getting too excited. “You’re going to have to give me space sometimes too, okay?”
Penny 2.0 throws her arms around Ruby. “Oh, yes! Thank you! Thank you!”
“Yup, you definitely hug like her.” Ruby groans.
Penny 2.0 retreats back. “I’m sorry. Sorry. Is that a bad thing?”
“No, I’d say that’s definitely a good thing.”