Archive of Our Own

Silence.
It always seemed to be silent.
At least I didn't feel fear anymore.
It was the first thing I remembered as my conciseness awoke from slumber. Alone, afraid, and agony. But if I was waking up again... Of course.
I had done all that to myself for nothing. There was no question I was afraid to die in the simulation because there was a possibility I would never wake up in the real world.
But I could feel it. I could perceive my own movements, so I didn't have to deliberate if I was dead or alive. I could feel as I wiggled my fingers, and as I inhaled a deep breath, as though I hadn't sucked in fresh air in a long time.
Yet something caused me to begin coughing before my lungs could fill.
And then I lost my balance, falling from the soft cot I had been resting on. Unable to catch myself before I hit the ground, disturbed dust clung to my skin and clothes, and I couldn't oppose another bout of coughing as I breathed in more of the dry dust.
Just what was all this? A strange light peeked into the room, and I finally brought myself to open my eyes and take a look at my surroundings. The first thing I noticed was the amount of rubble filling the room, as though I had been sleeping in ruins.
Perhaps I didn't remember as much as I previously assumed.
Turning back, I took a look at the odd cot, or pod, I had been resting in. It was almost upright already, a rock behind it keeping it steady.
Or so I thought. As if on cue, the pod teetered and fell to its side, causing the thunderous crash to echo around the room.
It wasn't the only one though, in fact, the room was full of the same looking pods. Some crushed in or overturned, others broken and cracked. Whatever happened here, it seemed like my pod was the only one lucky enough to survive it.
Why couldn't I seem to remember a thing? It felt so familiar, this room I was in, but the answer felt so far, just out of reach.
As I pulled myself up, I felt my body ache in protest, my legs sore and weak as though I hadn't stood in years. I couldn't prevent using the overturned pod as a crutch until I could bring myself to stand on my own. Just what was this weakness? And the sharp hunger pains scarring my stomach like a beast, I... Had to find something to eat first, before anything else.
The gentle light peeking through the cracks in the walls seemed like the most obvious of way to escape, aside from a large metal door on the other side of the room. That door, of course, was blocked off by a massive chunk of fallen ceiling.
I exhaled, mostly to prepare myself before pushing off the pod, which slightly moved it away. I felt the weakness return but only for a moment before I could stand on my own. Alright... This was... Good, yeah.
The cracks looked fairly small, and odd vines wrapped around the walls, overgrown and too in the way to possibly get through. There had to be something; anything to cut these.
As I was looking around the room though, I found my hands subconsciously reaching into the pockets of the jacket I wore, and my fingers grazed something cold and small.
"What on Earth?" The words escaped my lips before I pulled out a small object, the silver of a blade glistening under the light.
So familiar, yet so distant. What was this doing in my pocket? Though, I'm sure I could think on it later when I found my way out of whatever place this was.
I brought the blade to the thick vines and began to saw into the greenery. The vines began to snap and pull, but not enough to squeeze through yet.
With each cut into the overgrowth, more light shed into the room, and the once small crack now seemed to reveal itself to be much larger, as a majority of the hole had been covered up before this.
The sun felt warm on my skin, it was like I had spent my entire life in shadows, and it was my first time feeling the sunlight. Of course, that was ridiculous, I know I had been under the sun before, but... When?
It suddenly came to my attention that I didn't remember anything. As much as I tried, not a single memory rose to my mind. Even my name eluded me.
Being trapped in ruins at that moment seemed much less scary than waking up without knowing my own name.
Another cut into the vines and the final snap caused the rest to crumble to the ground. Yet the force threw me back, and a sharp pain shot down my arm. All I could do was cry out when my body hit the ground like a rag doll, and the feeling of warm liquid dripped down my arm.
Without thinking, I pressed my hand against the cut, feeling the hole that had been sliced into my jacket. Luckily it wasn't that deep thanks to the covering fabric but... I'd have to treat it soon. But first, getting out of here to even find anything to do that, as well as food.
I pushed myself back up and made my way to the wall. Peeking to the other side, it was hard to see much of anything.
A building across from this one, but I couldn't see anything more.
This was probably going to be a tight fit, but I didn't have any other option.
Putting the knife back in my pocket, I carefully began to squeeze myself into the crack and shimmied through. The wall squeezed tight around my body, feeling almost like it wanted to crush me within. I felt the scraping of brick against the back of my neck, and the pulling of my jacket as I dragged it along with me, and just when I thought my lungs were going to give out from lack of air, a blazing light nearly blinded me.
It was hotter than I could have imagined. In comparison to the sun beating down on me, the previous room felt like a refrigerator. Why was it so hot?
Why was I... All alone?
I eased my eyes open, using my hand as a visor to block out the intense blaze, and it didn't take long to discover why nobody had come to save me. Well, actually, that was a silly thing to answer.
Almost immediately after it reached my mind, the rising self-loathing in my gut suppressed it.
Who would want to save someone like me anyway?
All around me, it was like a wasteland of jungle upon jungle. Every building seemed to have some sort of plant and vine burrowing into it, splitting the structure apart. It was like... It had been abandoned for hundreds of years by now.
But... That's not possible, surely people lived here, right?
"Hello, hello?" My attempts to call were washed away by a dull, lonesome echo.
Why did my own mind elude me? Where was I?
Question after question, and not a single answer.
When I lowered my hand away, my eyes seemed to have adjusted to the sunlight, allowing me to look up to the sky, painted with orange and red clouds in a sunset. The sun itself appeared massive, cooking the Earth from above.
I didn't remember much, but it was obvious to see something wasn't right. Not about the sun, or the city, or myself.
My stomach rumbled once more, urging me forward to look for food. Every building around me didn't appear to be a store or a home, nowhere I could find something to eat, unless vines were edible that was.
It was almost torture to walk on the boiling ground, the heat felt as though it threatened to melt my shoes to dust, if such a thing were actually possible.
It didn't take long to need to raise the hood of my jacket to protect myself from the blaze.
The streets were... Silent. So utterly silent, the fear only continued to rise in my gut. If I wasn't afraid when I first woke up, I knew I was terrified now.
Rubble lined the streets like walls, and insects began to buzz around me, as if waiting for me to drop dead already.
Yet it was odd that I couldn't see a single body. Not that I would particularly want to see one, but in a massive city, if not a single person was around... It made sense, right? That they could be dead?
It felt like I had been walking for an eternity, sweat soaking my clothes, my hair sticking to my forehead, and my legs hurting more than I knew what to do with. It felt like if I were to stop walking for even a moment, I would collapse and not be able to stand again.
As the sun began to set, the boiling heat melted into chilling cold, and oddly enough, I couldn't help but notice snowflakes trickling down from the sky like shards of glass.
My hunger caused a painful contraction, causing me to stumble, but I caught myself as quick as it happened, pushing myself onward.
The stars became the only light, which wasn't much of anything.
And then it happened, I tripped over something in the road, and as I hit the ground, I was too exhausted to even cry out. I wanted to pull myself up, but I couldn't move.
My attempts to wiggle my toes, or even shift my arms, I might as well have been paralyzed. All I could do was raise my head and look to the stary sky.
Perhaps... Perhaps I was hallucinating when I saw the stars begin to move, detaching from the dark blanket and mixing with the falling snow in a beautiful haze of white. I didn't think I minded if it was the last thing I saw.
Then there was something else. A shadow before me, shapeless and flowing, like a demon watching me in my pitiful state.
Red eyes glaring me down, the only color I could make out before I felt myself slip out of wake.
"We can't leave them behind, they're just students!"
"We don't have a choice. If we don't leave now, we'll all die."
"It's all our fault. This is the end... Isn't it? We're going to die, we're all going to..."
"Stop talking like that! Get to the landing dock now. I'll leave them a message, but that's all I can do."
My mouth was dry as if my cheeks were filled with cotton balls. I needed a drink, but when I tried to utter 'water', all I could muster was a pained groan. It was difficult to tell how long I had been out if I was even alive at all.
I felt a soft touch to my lips, then the cold liquid of water. I couldn't care a less where it was coming from, I didn't hesitate in opening my mouth and allowing the water to trickle on my tongue, running to the back of my throat. It felt like I could drink an entire river, and by the time the water was pulled away, I only wanted more.
I opened my eyes, the moving stars still danced across my vision, but as my eyes cleared up from the haze I had before, those stars came into focus into small fireflies gently floating in the air, their small wings fluttering almost in perfect silence.
The small insects only kept my attention for mere seconds before a face crossed my gaze. A stranger glared me down with soft, yet stern eyes. He seemed to be staring me down with curiosity but it was difficult to tell.
"You're alive." In the most gentle voice I had heard in my life, the stranger released a soft exhale. "How are you feeling?"
As if on cue, my stomach howled, making me involuntarily wrap an arm around myself, where I could feel an odd fabric wrapped around my injury. Bandages?
He blinked, then closed his ruby-red eyes. "Of course. You wouldn't have eaten in quite a long time."
The stranger exit my line of sight, only to return a few moments later with a glass bowl in hand. "Eat."
I still felt like I was unable to move, my body screaming in soreness, and my joints aching in protest, but the smell of warm food was enough for me to be able to push myself to a sit and take it from his hands. As I did, the stranger sat back, crossing his legs as he watched me intently. I couldn't help but stare him down, not out of suspicion, but I felt an odd sense of deja vu, and he was rather attractive.
Long black hair pooling around his lithe body, and shining eyes I could see my reflection in. He wore a perfectly polished suit, one that practically announced 'I am important!'
Suddenly, the stranger ever so slightly cocked his head, "Are you not hungry after all?"
Maybe I was hungry in more ways than one. I tore my eyes away and looked down to the bowl. It was difficult to make out what I was being served, looking like a mashed pile of goo, but it smelled good. Though it was likely anything would smell good when you were this hungry.
Before I took a bite, I sniffed the meal once more before blowing it to cool down some.
And after the first bite and the flooding of flavor in my mouth, I was scarfing it down faster than I could taste it.
"You're Nagito Komaeda. I assumed you were dead." The stranger spoke up as I was still stuffing my mouth.
"That's my name?" I wiped a mess off my lips and swallowed the last bite. The stranger huffed as though my question was an inconvenience.
"You forgot. Not surprising after the program was essentially ripped out of the ground while you were still inside."
He pushed himself to a stand, brushing some fireflies away from his face. "It would be close to three years now since it happened. You and I were classmates. Us and the rest of the class were in a project that required our consciousness to enter a digital state. There was an accident though and the machines were quite literally uprooted. It caused both of us to have every memory torn away. You and I were the only students the scientists didn't bother saving." He crossed his arms and looked away, giving me some time to let the information sink in.
Why did they only leave us behind? It didn't make any sense, right? Was there something wrong with us?
Finally, I felt the energy to push myself to a rather unsteady stand, using a tree to keep my balance. My head rushed in pain, and my body was sorer than I could have imagined, but it was still a relief I felt better than when I had fainted. "If I forgot everything, why didn't you?"
"Who said I didn't?" Without hesitation, he looked back and pulled a yellow folder from inside his suit, holding it in my direction. "I found this within the inner walls of the lab when I awoke. Look at if you will."

I found myself drawn to it, but something stopped my hand from even touching the files. The way the stranger gazed at me, so stern and yet, calm as ever. I couldn't figure out what he was thinking. "Who... Who are you?" I felt like I knew him. It was odd, of course, he did say we had been classmates, yet it felt different than that.
The male didn't speak, he only gave a soft exhale, urging me to collect the folder from his grasp. What would I see inside? What was I even expecting to see? I couldn't answer that.
Maybe I wasn't even worthy enough to look at it!
The passing night fireflies reflected within his red eyes, giving me a safe feeling being in the stranger's presence. Whoever he was, I was glad he would be the first living human around. Just that look calmed my nerves and erased my doubt in wanting to know more.

The folder drifted from his hand to my fingers before I opened the contents. The first thing I noticed was the topic of all the papers inside as I began to shift through, eventually having to put the folder on the ground to continue.

Student files and documented reports. I first began to look for my name, which was easy enough when I saw a photo of myself on the front of it.

"Name, Nagito Komaeda, age nineteen, though seeing the timestamp of the records, that would make you twenty-two now." As the stranger spoke, he closed his eyes before kneeling at my side, long hair brushing the snowed ground. "Happy three birthdays." He took over the shuffling of papers only to pull out his own file.

"Izuru Kamukura, age eighteen. Formally known as Hajime Hinata." Izuru clicked his tongue before carefully returning the paper. "It's useless to keep looking through the students. The rest are dead."
He began to collect all the student files to move them aside, and it was hard to resist looking at all the portraits in the process. "How... How are they all dead?"
Every student looked to be so young and full of life in their pictures. Even if I didn't know them now, they had a sense of identity that I didn't think I had.
"Obviously, the pods kept us alive during the disaster. Some insects and animals were lucky, but the scientists removing the other students to try to escape ultimately doomed them." With that, Izuru pulled out another paper. "This one discusses the machine that we had been secured on. It took all our memories with us so we could live inside it, as a sort of advanced simulation. When the machine was uprooted, it took our memories with it."
He shifted the paper over to me so I could read it over, which basically described the simulation machine and functions. No mention of it being removed at all.
"How do you know it was uprooted?" I flipped the paper over but the other side was blank.
"Did you observe the machine there when you woke up? Neither did I. The scientists carried it with them during the incident." Izuru pulled himself up, patting the snow off his dress pants. "It's most likely difficult to get to that room now, it caved in after I left, but the lab had recordings in their main room. That, and video. I observed a much as I could. To sum it up, there was a nuclear explosion. The scientists transmitted their coordinates though, in the off chance we survived."
At first, it didn't make sense. Why would he tell me all this? It took a minute of thinking before it clicked in my mind. "Wherever they are, the machine is. With-"
"With our memories." The dark male finished for me. "Yes, I perceived that as well. It's too far though. Every car, train, and plane were damaged in the blast, and we're nowhere near a body of water for a boat." He exhaled, holding his hands behind his back.
A sense of silence overtook the two of us. A silence I wasn't quite sure how to break.
Something told me to stand up, and step over the folder to stand beside my former classmate.
Past the trees and beyond the rocky cliff we sat upon, where the red sun was beginning to rise once more, I could look upon the city ruins from afar.
"What can you recall?" The red eyes sparkled under the skylight, and though he was speaking to me, the way he stared off into the distance made it seem like he was lost in his own mind.
The presence he gave off was similar to that of a ghost. Mysterious, I couldn't grasp him.
I opened my mouth, ready to proclaim I couldn't recall a thing, but that wouldn't be accurate. A thought struck my memory and though hazy, it was... Something at least.
"I think I died." I pulled my eyes off the stranger to look beyond the two of us. "I can't remember well. Just pain, and I think I died being full of hate. I can still feel it in my heart." As if on instinct, I let my hand press against my chest, feeling the calm beats. "But I don't know why."
"It's likely your emotions were strong enough to carry to your body before your memories had a chance to upload." Izuru released a scoff after a few moments.
When he remained silent once more, I found myself being able to focus on what lay before me.
The scene before me caused my eyes to widen in wonder. It was... Beautiful, and terrifying.
When I wasn't lost in the streets of it, the city was quite beautiful, even with the overgrowth tearing through the walls. "I like beautiful things." I found myself muttering without thinking.
For a long moment, the dark male was silent before he finally released a sigh. "We're not ourselves." Izuru took a step forward with a monotone voice, hit feet nearly edging off the cliff. A few loose pebbles shifted free, but it didn't seem to affect him in the slightest.
Yet it nearly made my heart stop watching him so close to the edge.
But why?
I didn't even know him, but I couldn't let him hurt himself! "What are you doing?" I took a step forward, but he didn't react. If Izuru's dark hair hadn't been swaying, he may have well been a statue.
"We don't have our memories. Who's to say this is even the real us talking? Now that you're awake, we need to retrieve that machine." He outstretched his hand, which seemed fairly confusing at the moment.
What was he going to do? Plus Izuru was so beautiful, could I even touch his hand?
Where... Did that thought come from? I shook it off before I outstretched my hand in return. I had thought he would walk away from the edge to reach out, but if I had known he was going to pull me close and walk off the cliff edge, I would have reconsidered my actions heavily.
I felt... Light, yet heavy.
I couldn't even focus on falling when fear choked back in my throat, and tears threatened to prick my eyes. All I could do was cling onto him tightly, and silently beg I wasn't going to die.
I couldn't even scream, my heart was dropping with me.
I wasn't sure how long I was falling. Seconds, minutes, it was difficult to count when you're afraid of falling to your death. The city didn't even feel this far down when I was looking at it from above.
"You're free to release me." The dark male's sudden soft voice brought me back to reality, and I opened my eyes where my stomach sunk back into place. Metaphorically, that is.
The landing had been so careful, I hadn't even realized it had happened. For a second more, I kept my arms wrapped around him until I felt like I could stand without my legs shaking.
That had been... Fairly terrifying.
Could I even trust this guy? With him being the only survivor I had found yet, I didn't think I exactly had a choice anyway. "How do you... Plan to find this machine?" I tried to speak without stuttering, but I wasn't sure I had been successful in my attempts.
"Return to the lab." Izuru walked ahead and took a look around the street, as though he were looking for something I couldn't quite grasp.
Despite him making me scared for my life only minutes ago, this guy was rather amazing, wasn't he?
"How do you plan to do that?" I hurried to catch up walking at his side, "Didn't you say it had caved in?"
I noticed a slight flicker in Izuru's eyes, one I couldn't exactly read. He looked down to his pale palms and clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. After a moment, he released the pressure and outstretched his hands once more.
"Easy. I just didn't have a reason to use it before this." Suddenly, he moved as the speed of light, whipping around and in a thunderous crash, too fast for me to even see, the building we had just been walking past had a massive hole in the wall, exposing the inside to the morning heat.
"Wh- What was-" Where were my words? Did he seriously just... Punch a hole into a brick building? Is that actually possible?
Izuru scoffed before he looked back to me, his expression was less than interested. "That would be the reason I was left behind. Stronger and smarter than the average human, I was presumed to be dangerous. I discovered that quickly once I read my file." His eyebrows furrowed in thought, but I couldn't think of a response. I felt bad, but what could you say in this situation? His face didn't hint at a single emotion he could have been feeling.
I was left behind as well, but why? Nothing I had seen in my file explained why they would do such a thing, and I definitely didn't feel very strong or smart like he did.
The silence as we walked became almost unbearable, I had to break it somehow. "The sun is... Rather hot." I found myself having to shield my eyes from the blaze. It hadn't even completely risen yet, but I was already feeling the effects.
Izuru rose his eyes off the ground to up before making a somewhat amused scoff. "Of course. The explosion was enough to destroy all of humanity, what do you estimate happened to our atmosphere? We're cruising in a massive greenhouse."
I thought that was that at first, but as I thought more on it, it wasn't that comforting to hear as we returned to silence.
I hadn't even realized I had been making a bothered face until I caught sight of the male giving me a shining glance. Without warning, my free hand was being held.
It didn't take long to feel his hold. Soft, comforting, protective, it made me not want to let go, and instead, I squeezed in return. I never could have imagined a man's hand, a man living in a wasteland nonetheless, would be so delicate.
"How were you living in this place anyhow?" I looked down as I questioned, kicking an empty can out of the way of the road as we moved onwards. "Three years by yourself in this place, all alone without memories. Wasn't it difficult?"
Izuru didn't waste any time in responding a simple, "No." He rolled his shoulders before continuing, "I had my skills. I could scavenge, and it didn't take long to figure out the need to avoid walking in the sun for long periods of time." At that, I caught him giving a short glance, probably hinting at my own awakening. I could only chuckle awkwardly.
"I didn't need my memories, I knew what I needed to know, and I had no interest in learning anything more. Not until I saw you trudging the wasteland." He cleared his throat, and I momentarily felt his grip tighten. "I recognized you from the files, but more than that;"
"You feel like you know me?" It was my turn to finish for him, which made Izuru hum, turning back to look ahead.
"I felt the same way. That's kinda funny." I felt something odd in my chest, but I couldn't describe it. I almost felt giddy, but an odd thought was forcing me to suppress it. My own head wanting to nearly tear itself in half.
I like him? I like him. I really do.
But how could I? When I'm so lowly and gross, how could I be allowed to?
What was happening to me? I tried to shake them off again like I had been doing, but they didn't want to free themselves from my thoughts this time.
Suddenly Izuru cleared his throat, finally ripping me away from my mind.
"We're here." He released my hand to move closer to the wall. It looked different from when I had been leaving the building, but I still remembered squeezing myself through that narrow crack.
The male inhaled, preparing himself before rearing back and giving the wall a powerful kick that caused it to collapse, rubble flying into the back wall and reopening the room for an entree.
It didn't look different at all, my fallen pod was still where I had left it. Izuru didn't wait long to step inside the lab, making his way to the back wall where the pile of rubble blocked the only door. "Their equipment is just past here." He explained, examining the pile in our path.
I couldn't help feeling useless at that moment. Getting us back to the lab, making an entrance, and now clearing the rubble? That was all Izuru. So what was I even doing here other than being perhaps some sort of encouragement? And I didn't even feel like that.
Izuru dug a hand into a weak hole in the rubble and grabbed something from the center. It was quite amazing to watch as he pulled back a structure rock, causing the entirely of the rubble to fall apart in a mess on the ground.
Well, the maid wouldn't be happy but it worked. I decided to be helpful and reached for the doorknob but was beaten in terms of speed where the male opened it instead.
"After you." He took a glance in my direction. I gave a smile, hoping he didn't see it was fake.
Inside the room, it felt cool, like an air conditioner had been left running.
It felt nice, really nice. A room that had been blocked from that hot sun for so long wouldn't be heated up, would it? I felt like I could say here forever, but I pushed myself onward.
After a few seconds, there was a crash and the outside light was cut off behind the metal door.
The only light seemed to be an odd blue dimness coming from down the hallway, almost begging me to investigate.
I tried to look back to make sure Izuru was behind me but the light wasn't bright enough to see such things, especially after the door shut behind us and he happened to be dressed in all black. The one thing telling me I wasn't alone was the gentle tapping of nearby footsteps following in suit of my own.
I felt like I should be scared, or at least a little worried, but I wasn't. Whatever the reason, I didn't feel even a mere pinch of anxiety. If anything, I would think this was exciting.
I suddenly felt a gentle brush against my hand before Izuru's hand wrapped in mine again. Admittedly, I didn't particularly mind it, if I were to say anything about holding his hand, it was that it was quite comforting.
I shouldn't be allowed to touch someone like him.
These thoughts digging into my mind again. Getting stronger with each step, with each small squeeze I gave to his soft hold.
The hallway opened up to a room, smaller than I had been expecting, but it seemed perfect for a secret lab.
The blue light's source was emitting from a massive panel of computers lining the far back wall, flickering weakly every couple moments. It was as though just being on was draining the computers of life right before my very eyes.
"Electricity still works..." Izuru's voice muttered beside me as he untangled our fingers.
"Maybe a generator?" I cast him a glance but instead of offering a response, the male moved past, his midnight locks swaying ever so gently, glistening with the soft, dim glow. He suddenly seemed distant, as though I no longer existed. The way his fingers twitched, almost unnoticeably, before he pressed down on the power button, he seemed hesitant, perhaps even delicate. The computer fans whirred to life, all the screens focusing on something odd playing. Almost as if every monitor were a piece of one large picture.
One by one, the blue emptiness was filled in until what sat before us was an odd man, shrouded in the darkness of this very room. It appeared pre-recorded, the quality aged poorly, but it was still easy to tell he was wearing a lab coat.
For a long moment, the room was silent until the volume cracked to life, nearly making me jump and urging me closer.
"You must be very af-afraid if you've woken up." The computers glitched, the video momentarily shutting out, only to return with better quality than before.
The scientist's face flashed with a grim expression. His eyes dark, hair ruffled as though he had just awoken. I gave Izuru a quick look but he seemed focused on watching the video instead.
"I'm afraid there's been an accident." He continued. "In an hour, a nuclear blast will have traveled the surface of the globe. The cause is yet unknown but it's been suspected this is the cause of the Ultimate Despair. That's all I can tell you over video." He exhaled before crossed his arms behind his back. "You two very well could be the last of humanity by the time this video reaches you, seeing that you two were able to survive inside the pods. We had no choice in leaving you behind, which you'll understand once your memories are returned." He went quiet for a long minute. It almost felt like an eternity as he closed his eyes, as if trying to prepare himself for what was to come next. Then he exhaled and stood up straight.
"We did not take the program with us. It is still in this room. Use your talents, that's all I can offer you. For the chance that our test subjects are not the ones to find this video, I can't disclose its location. Nagito Komaeda, Ultimate Lucky Student."
It suddenly felt like he was looking directly at me. This guy... Who was he?
"You're well known for your incredible luck. There's no doubt you have a chance in surviving the blast. All I can give to you is hope."
Hope?
What is an Ultimate?
"And Izuru Kamukura, Ultimate Hope," I caught Izuru furrowing his brows as his name was mentioned. "You were our most valuable test subject. It is with a heavy heart we must leave you behind, but you are needed here." The scientist closed his eyes as the screen began to fade.
"Release your talents, you'll find what you're looking for."
And all at once, the monitors shut off, shrouding the room in a thick darkness.
"This video wasn't here when I was last in this room." The dark male muttered beside me before I heard the small clicking of a button being pushed.
As he attempted to get the computers back on, I shut my eyes as tight as I could before reopening them to the nothingness.
It was too dark to see a thing, I couldn't seem to adjust my eyes to it. All I could do was wander aimlessly.
How could luck possibly be a talent? How could I use that to find anything in here?
How... How fair is any of this?
Suddenly Izuru grunted and banged his hands against the button panel, still not getting a response.
"I-I don't think you should hit it-!" I moved close to the sound and attempted to reach out my hand to calm him down but I had miscalculated.
He must have cracked the panel because as I extended my arm, a painful shock of electricity shot up my fingers before I had time to react. All I could do was cry out before I backed up. It was all a blur until I backed into one of the walls, cradling my aching hand.
It didn't hurt as much as you would expect being electrocuted would be, but the shock of the sudden hit was enough to make me feel dazed.
Lucky, he said. I certainly didn't feel very lucky after that.
"Are you alright?" I could hear Izuru moving closer but I couldn't even make out his shape in this darkness.
I gave a nod, though he likely couldn't see it. "Yeah, I'm okay. You don't have to worry-"
Not about trash like me.
Damn these thoughts. Though I felt myself starting to believe them.
Trash like me. No, I don't deserve anything. I wasn't sure what an Ultimate was but I absolutely knew luck wasn't a talent worth even a glance. But this guy, I felt like I understood Ultimate Hope perfectly. He'd be someone that would have turned heads if there were people here.
I couldn't see him, but I could feel a soft breath on me. I almost wanted to beg him to back up, why was it making my heart race?
Then the slight scrape of shoes on the ground as he shifted a leg brought my attention elsewhere. It was almost a relief. "What... Is that?"
I turned around to see what he was talking about, and there I could see it.
I could most definitely see it in this darkness. Of course, I could see the light peeking through the bricks that I had fallen back into.
Luck...
"There's something behind here." Izuru pushed on one of the bricks, causing it to shift against the others. "It might be the machine."
"Are you going to cave the wall in again, like on that building?"
"I could damage it with the blast." He replied to my question without hesitation. Instead, he carefully pushed in a single brick, causing it to fall forward and leaving a small gap in the wall. More light flowed into the darkness, but I didn't get a chance to look through the hole before Izuru began pulling brick after brick from the wall.
Doing the only thing I could think of, I began to mimic his movements, grabbing a brick and pulling it out of the wall.
It's likely hiding it behind this wall was the only thing the scientists could think of in such a short time, but why didn't they bring it with them?
What about the other students? Perhaps our memories could answer the questions nagging at my mind. Without warning, the wall crumbled, revealing a small room about as big as a closet. But that's all that was needed for the glowing machine to lay dormant.
"How do we use it?" I looked to Izuru for answers but he appeared lost too. Or so I thought before he walked forward and examined the machine. It only took a minute for him to open up a compartment and pull out a knot of cables. "I'm guessing we hook ourselves up."

My whole body felt hot. So hot I thought I was going to die. But it felt really good. I could barely keep myself standing. It was thanks to the wall behind me I was still upright, but how could I focus on standing at all when a tongue was being entangled with my own. His cold fingers held onto my chin, preventing me from moving away. I could barely breathe when I was being held like his special toy.
I didn't mind if I was just being used to feed his own desires. I'd do anything for the ultimate hope, but I had asked him for this. He was so kind as to kiss me in such a way. No matter how many times I asked, he never seemed to mind placing his beautiful lips on scum like me.
"All test subjects please report to the main lab immediately." The speakers suddenly cracked on, interrupting our moment with a bothered sound from Izuru. He let himself linger himself against my skinny body a few minutes longer, probably because he knew it would annoy the scientists. As he finally backed away, breaking a small stream of saliva between us, he let a hand brush through my hair before turning his back and closing his eyes as though he were sleeping. Every touch he gave me was so soft, as though he would break me if he were even a little rough.
"Annoying." He exhaled. "The tests are boring, I might just fall asleep on them instead."
I expected him to move on without me as I caught my breath but that didn't seem to be the case. When I finally stopped panting like I had run a marathon, he turned back to look at me, a spark in his red eyes. "Are you ready yet?"
His question nearly caught me off guard and though I opened my mouth to respond, I couldn't find the words to leave my lips.
"I set my claim on you." He continued so softly, only I would be able to hear. "Which means you're mine. Which also means, I don't intend to leave you alone. Allow me to ask differently. Are you now ready to head to the lab?"
I quickly nodded, pushing myself off the wall to follow his lead down the halls.
"I find it amusing," The dark male suddenly murmured, his red eyes covered by thick locks of dark hair. "How I've taken you multiple times by now, yet you still get worked up over being kissed."
The remark was so sudden, I nearly tripped and felt my face burning red. "Don't say those things where people could hear." I flashed him the most annoyed face I could manage, but it seemed to have little to no effect.
"You say that," He muttered, "Yet you asked me to make out with you in the hallway just now."
Something about being seen being shameful like that... It was exciting to an extent. But that was just some kissing, what would people think if they knew disgusting trash like me was doing something like that with their Ultimate Hope?
I shook my head, looking for an opportunity to change the topic.
It was just lucky that a Scientist ran up to us, out of breath. "There you are!" She swallowed and caught herself again, standing upright and quickly fixing her hair. "The lab is waiting for you both. We're ready to commence the Neo World Program."
At that, the small scientist led us to the main room. Pod after pod lined the walls in a large circle the center being an odd machine. The rest of the class was already hooked up but not yet inside the program.
"What took you so long?" One of the male students exasperated.
Instead of replying, Izuru turned to the scientist. "What's the point of this program?"
"We want to test how effective your talents will be in a secluded area. It's completely safe. We send your mental state inside and as long as nothing goes wrong, you will wake up with your memories intact as well."
Without thinking, I reached out and clutched Izuru's hand. It felt so natural now, but I could remember how terrified I had been when I first asked to do it.
"So please lay in the pods and I'll get you sorted up." She gave a smile and gestured to the two open pods beside each other.
"Before that," Izuru pulled his hand back and reached into his pocket. The momentary disappointment was replaced by wonder as he offered out a small multitool. "Take this. I found it earlier, you can use it better than I can."
If I were staring at myself just then, I probably would have seen my eyes bulge out of my head. He had... Never given me anything before.
As I took it, I let my fingers brush against his. Izuru didn't seem to have a reaction to it, but then again, it would be difficult to feel something when your emotions were removed, right? Still, something like that never bothered me.
I felt my heart leap as I took it and placed it in my pocket. Maybe it'd be useful later.
"Please get in the pods now." The scientist urged.
I wish I knew that would be the last time I saw him in the waking world, knowing who he was. I would have hugged him tight, and maybe said goodbye, or 'Until next time'.
The first thing I smelled was the salty ocean air. And then I could hear seagulls crying from the skies. Finally, I could see sand and tall palm trees. I pushed myself off the beach, my fingers digging into the warm grains. Shaking my head, the sand fell from my hair and coat.
All around me, my fellow classmates were beginning to wake up too.
"Where... Are we?" A girl rubbed her head. "This is pretty damn fancy."
"The Neo World Program. It's almost like a VR game." Another girl muttered. "It seems pretty advanced though."
I took a glance to each student, but my main focus was on Izuru, already sitting up in the sand, looking around with an obvious look of boredom. Sand fell like snow off his hair before he rose to his feet.
I looked back to waves lapping at the shore, each small wrinkle in the perfect water seemed oddly... Peaceful.
"What are we supposed to do?" A male student looked around, his face twisted in confusion.
"Have fun of course!" At that, another one of my classmates jumped to his feet. "I mean, there's a whole beach right in front of us! Let's relax before we have to do anything and go swimming!"
The confused faces of the students melted to relaxed smiles as everyone seemed willing to participate. I found myself forcing a smile, but I couldn't bring myself to feel as excited as the others.
Who would want to see someone like me in a swimsuit? I don't want to melt anyone's eyes.
Before I knew it, the class had taken a visit to the local store and got their own swimsuits while I found myself burying my hands in the sand.
Nobody even gave me a glance as they returned to the beach. The girls wearing frills or one-pieces, some wearing bikinis with cute flowers, other girls choosing simple black or wet suits. As for the boys, everyone's style was relatively similar. Swimming trunks of blue or black, others going bolder with a speedo, which I could have... Probably gone without seeing.
Even Izuru returned, though walking slower with the others. He caught my glance and began making his way over, causing a mini panic in my chest. "Are you not going to swim?" He tilt his head with innocence. His question lingered in my mind, but I found myself unable to focus. Black trunks with small blue flowers, not hiding a bit of his perfect body... I quickly swallowed and gave him a smile. "I didn't realize how good you looked in a swimsuit. It doesn't leave anything to the imagination, does it?"
The male looked down to his own body, as though trying to find what I was talking about before giving a curious hum and taking a seat beside me. "I was going to swim but seeing as I'm also an Ultimate Swimmer, it would be boring. I hope you're doing something more interesting."
He looked down to the small pile of sand I had amassed while he was gone and I suddenly was struck with an idea. He was perfect at everything, but he still somewhat had the mind of a child, right?
"How about mermaid tales?" I pushed the sand over my legs and flattened it as best I could before looking back to Izuru, looking fairly unamused.
He released a heavy sigh and fell back into the sand, spreading out some golden grains as though it was mere dust in his way. Shaking the sand off my legs, I followed after and laid beside him, looking up at the perfect skies.
Though the blue, endless sky, was still part of the Neo World Program, it still looked pretty.
I like beautiful things.
"What do you think is up in space?" My eyes drifted to the midnight haired boy. He narrowed his ruby eyes in thought before turning his head to return a look I couldn't quite read.
"Countless stars, planets, dark matter, galaxies, probably a lot of space rocks."
He finished with the most serious tone he could muster, it was difficult to resist a small chuckle before I let myself reach out. I found myself hesitating, feeling as though I should ask to touch him, or not do it at all. But Izuru didn't stop me, making me feel like I could continue, and brush some dark locks out of his face.
"I'm nowhere near as smart as the Ultimate Hope, but not even space is big enough to contain my feelings for you."
For a split second, his eyes widened, and I thought I could see a hint of pink flash across his cheeks, but it was gone as quick as it appeared before he looked back up to the sky. "Not scientifically possible."
"Hey, you guys!" A girl called from the water. "We're on a beach! Are you going to have fun or flirt the entire time?!"
Before either of us had a chance to respond, strange dark clouds began to cover the once bright sky.
Suddenly, a cheery voice came from behind.
"Ahem, mic check, mic check! Is this thing working?"
I'm sorry, Izuru Kamukura. What else can I say? What other options did I have?
This whole time, they were all so full of despair. I felt my thoughts becoming fuzzy with anger the more I thought about it. The flames were getting stronger, coming closer. Smoke was filling the air, I could barely breathe.
Then I heard a crash of a fire grenade. The flames began to calm, but it was nowhere near enough. I tightened my grip on the rope holding the spear dangling above my body.
Of course I was scared; I was absolutely terrified, but they left me no choice.
The moment the poison grenade smashed into the ground, I inhaled and felt the stinging in my lungs. All at once, everything was going dark.
Unable to maintain my strength any longer, my fingers released the rope. I felt the spear piece my body, but I felt no pain. I felt absolutely nothing.
I thought I was dead, by all accounts I should be, but the next thing I realized, I was gasping for breath, unable to control my rapid heartbeat.
"Get them out, get them out now!"
The voices were sounding hazy, but with my body still rocking with the pain of my own death, listening to the scientists were the last thing I cared about.
My... Death.
Did I die?
"Sir, over here! One is awake!"
"What? That's not possible. They shouldn't be able to wake up inside the program. Their mental state will collapse. Put him back under!"
Before I realized what was happening, the lid of my pod was being thrown off.
"No... His avatar was deleted. If we put him back under, he can't wake up again."
"What about his memories? They didn't get to upload to his body."
"They're probably in the program code, it would take a while to retrieve but I think-"
Suddenly, there was a crash. I felt myself slipping out of consciousness but I attempted to keep myself awake.
Who were these people? Where was I?
I tried to sit up but a hand forced me back down again.
"Isn't this a surprise?" A female released a cute laugh. "The world is going to end and you're worried one boy will remember if he jerked off this morning. Don't you have better things to do?"
She released a scoff as though what she said was obvious.
"J-Junko? You're supposed to be dead!"
I found my vision starting to come into focus, which was fairly useless as I could only stare at the ceiling.
"News flash, lame-asses, a lot of things were supposed to happen. Things don't always go according to plan, what you see isn't always what really happened. I heard you have something valuable though. I want it, and in exchange, I'll let you and your pathetic dick goblins hide out somewhere safe when the world gets inevitably destroyed by radiation. Aren't I nice?"
I heard a scientist cry out before there was a ripping sound, and a crack as something hit the wall.
"You're making this so much harder than it needs to be!" The girl exasperated.
The hand holding me down moved away, giving me the chance to push myself up and see a stranger standing in the center of the room, one hand holding tight to the Neo World Program.
Her sneer circled around the room, but as she looked past me, it was as though she was looking right into my soul. It gave my entire body shivers.
She tossed her blonde hair behind her shoulder before her face fell, looking much darker than before. "You're acting like all want to die."
She looked around to the group of scientists circling her.
"I want the mind of the Ultimate Hope. It's in here, isn't it?" She ever so lightly kicked the machine.
"Call security." One of the men on white coats gestured to another. They quickly pulled a device out of their pocket and clicked a red button before she could react.
The way her face twisted made my stomach want to drop.
"You're going to regret that." Her hand fell off the machine. "My AI is killing off your cute little students, meanwhile, I set off the most powerful nuclear bomb known to man, and you decide to sit on your asses while I offer you a safe place. Better get out while you can. You have an hour." She sneered, backing to the doors, before taking off, heels clapping the hard ground.
After she was gone, the scientists began a frenzy of muttering, their eyes darting around the room in a panic.
"What are we supposed to do now? Do we have enough time to escape?"
"If we leave now. But what about Neo World? The students are trapped there with her AI. We don't have enough time to wake them up by protocol."
"And our escape pod doesn't have the space for the machine. If she gets a hold of Izuru Kamukura's mind, we may as well be dead already."
"It's decided then, we need to leave the machine behind with protectors."
"What about the students?"
"Wake them up. They won't have their memories but we don't have a choice. Their lives are our future. Pull all but Izuru out, and put Nagito back to sleep."
Suddenly, all the scientists were looking at me. Was... Was I Nagito?
What were they all on about? Who was Izuru Kamukura? And Neo World?
I couldn't even ask before I felt a prick in my arm. Looking over, a scientist was pulling a needle back before her eyes stared into mine with a look I couldn't read.
"Izuru will protect his own mind, but what about Nagito?"
I felt myself becoming... Dizzy.
What was I just injected with?
I allowed myself to lay back into the pod, not that I had much choice though. I could barely keep myself awake. Something strange was being attached to the side of my head.
"They're close, Nagito will keep him safe. We have to hope for that much, even without their memories. Keep them under Neo World until we can hide the machine from her. And don't let Nagito re-enter, just let him sleep."
"But what about the program? He'll be waking up much later than Izuru."
"We don't have a choice. Just do it."
I found myself... Falling asleep. I couldn't control it. I felt more tired than my body could possibly manage. It was like I hadn't slept in days.
I didn't want to sleep though, I had to know what was going on...
It was hard to tell how long I had been out, but what woke me up was shouting.
"We can't leave them behind, they're just students!"
Something popped, snapping and hitting against the wall. It smelled of smoke, I could barely breathe.
"We don't have a choice. If we don't leave now, we'll all die."
"It's all our fault. This is the end... Isn't it? We're going to die, we're all going to..."
"Stop talking like that! Get to the landing dock now. I'll leave them a message, but that's all I can do."
Before I could hear anything else, I felt myself fading off again.
"Sleep." Someone whispered softly in my ear. "You'll be safe. You will survive. You have to. We'll be waiting for you."

Almost as soon as I drifted off for the final time, I was opening my eyes inside the tiny room again, connected to the machine. The memories had felt so real and alive, it was like I was reliving them all over again. I pulled the wires off and set them on the ground, leaning back into the machine in silence.
These memories... They had been stuck in the machine this whole time. For three years it was hiding behind this wall, waiting for us to collect them again.

I exhaled before looking over to Izuru, who appeared to be waking back up as well. He blinked before his eyes landed on me in return. At first, he appeared slow and sluggish after the experience, exactly how I felt as well, but it didn't take long for him to sit up straight and pull the wires off the side of his head. "It appears I finally remember everything." His voice so quiet, I couldn't have heard if he spoke even a little bit lower.
Without warning, I was being pushed to the ground, and unable to resist my lips being seized in a kiss.
It was so warm and gentle, yet aggressive like he was hungry.
How could I have forgotten we were, are, a pair?
Someone as worthless, as disgusting as me, managed to capture the heart of someone so incredible as the Ultimate Hope.
I reached a hand up, tangling my fingers through the flowing locks before wrapping my arm around his shoulders.
Three years of being asleep, three years of being without this, that wasn't fair at all.
"How sweet." A cynic voice snapped, cutting the moment short. Izuru quickly moved off, and I looked into the darkness for the source. Familiar, but where have I heard that voice before?
The light of the Neo World Program wasn't enough to light the lab, leaving a majority of it in a drowning darkness, hiding the intruder behind a mask of shadows.
"This is how you expect the story to play out, right? You wake up in a strange place, meet each other, realize you're actually some gross lovey-dovey couple, you have your memories back, the scientists return for you, sing kumbaya, happy ending, humanity is saved." She snorted, the sound of heels against the ground approaching ever closer. "Well, that's not how this is going to play out. Izuru has his memories back, but the Neo World Program has the coding still. You're sitting in front of the most powerful machine in the world, and oh how I've been looking for it."
As she came closer, the light cast over her sneering face, illuminating her feminine form.
"Though, I could let you take the machine." She was suddenly staring at me. Familiar...
Junko?
"You see, the scientists need this machine for the other ultimates. But I only want Kamu-cutie's power. So if he joins me," Her eyes drifted to the dark male before she outstretched a thin, oddly manicured hand. "I'll let you walk off scot-free with your memory bank. The scientists won't return without it safe, after all. They don't care what happens to the two of you."
I opened my mouth, but at that instant, I couldn't find my words. Izuru lowered his eyes from her, almost as if he was seriously considering it. Finally, he softly exhaled.
"He will be safe?"
"As safe as a baby in a booster seat." She waved her hand impatiently, waiting for him to take it.
I barely had time to open my mouth, blurting out the only thing I could think of saying. "Please don't." The thought of him leaving me behind was suddenly terrifying. Even more so than dying in a world like this.
The midnight-haired boy blinked, making a small, soft noise of confusion. "But you will be safe. Why would you refuse this offer?"
"Hurry this up I don't have all day." Junko narrowed her eyes in my direction, showing exasperation of my stopping of her plan.
Aside from this girl having been the cause of the nuclear blast that put us in this situation and not trusting her with a bag of garbage, I perceived there was more than solely that.
Perhaps it wasn't even about this Junko at all.
If I had a say, it wasn't about my protection either. In fact, I couldn't care less about that. "Joining her..." I found myself clenching my fists, unable to get the words out. I could feel their eyes on me, waiting for me to continue.
Joining her and leaving me behind, I'd rather die in the wasteland than lose you again.
Despite my attempts to form such words, nothing escaped my lips, but I could move my body.
I allowed myself to reach out and place my fingers atop Izuru's pale hand, Junko's face glaring momentarily in confusion before her eyebrows furrowed in irritation.
She dropped her arm and sighed, like she was forcing down her anger before taking a taller stance, towering above us. "Is this some sort of joke?" With a bony finger, she was pointing directly at me. "You'll have all your memories back, and those lame-ass scientists will come save you! You don't even know this guy!"
Ere I could interject, another voice rose up, catching me off guard more than I apprehended it would. Izuru slowly moved his hand away and stood up, causing his long hair to brush against me for half a moment.
"I couldn't mind less." He started, for the first time since we met up, sounding truly annoyed. "Three years passed already without a memory. I won't miss the rest. I already have what I need."
The girl appeared to freeze up before snorting in amusement. She rolled her shoulders, causing her fluffy hair to bounce lightly. "So you won't come with me? You know, you're so cruel. You don't even remember me at all." She slowly rose her hand and reached into the mountains that were her chest. Not a second passed before she pulled out an odd... Pole?
Using the Neo machine, I pushed myself up, slightly causing it to be shifted backwards in the process.
The stick suddenly extended as she flicked her wrist.
"I've been waiting in this disgusting lab since the fallout. I got the backup generator working, I've replayed that scientist's video hundreds of times, I've lived off the disgusting gruel that's barely food, just so I could wait for this day," If I wasn't mistaken, her eyes twinkled in delight.
There was a pause from the two of them before the dark male blinked slowly. If I wasn't mistaken, he could have been almost amused. "You got caved in." Izuru's stance was that of preparing for an attack. I found myself wondering why until I could see what his eyes were focused on. The pole was fizzling with electricity, crackling with small shocks and ready to be used. It was a stun baton, wasn't it?
"The circumstances aren't important." She waved a hand and began sneering, taking a small step closer. As she moved, the baton followed, air rippling where it crackled. "If you can't be mine, I'll just have to dispose of you. You'll get in the way, just like last time. Or I could get rid of the obstacle." I met her shining green eyes, melting with malice.
It happened quickly. My body didn't have a chance to react. Before I could even blink, blue light blinded me, and I felt the heat. Burning heat, electrifying heat, but no pain whatsoever. Not until I was thrown to the floor, knocked off my feet without warning. I nearly wanted to cry out in surprise but I didn't even have the chance. It was so sudden, I didn't even realize what was going on until it was over and I was being pinned to the ground, a weight on me preventing me from getting up.
Everything was a haze but I could hear the shattering explosion where I had just been standing, and smelled the smoke of the shot.
"No!" Junko's voice cried out. As everything came back into focus, the first thing I noticed was the red eyes looking down on me before I caught sight of the fire rising from the Neo machine.
"You..." I was almost in disbelief at what just happened before my very eyes. "You sacrificed everyone's memories just to protect me."
But why? How could this measly life of mine be more important than preserving everyone's memories? Memories... That's what everyone is, and without them, could you even call yourself you? We were only able to get back a couple, I still don't remember my childhood or everything that happened inside the Neo World Program. Just those few were enough for me to remember what a useless piece of garbage I was on earth.
"You destroyed everything!" Before Izuru had a chance to respond to what I had said, Junko hit the stun baton against the wall, as though taking it out on the bricks themselves.
The sound that escaped her throat was that of a dying rat, or perhaps an injured dinosaur. Her furious shriek could have exploded my ears if the cracking of the bolts against the wall wasn't doing it instead.
"All their talents!" She slammed it against the wall once more, "All their despair!" Another hit caused some of the bricks to become dislodged.
Without giving it much thought, I wrapped my arms tight around Izuru, as if holding him would protect him from the rubble beginning to fall around us.
"That was my once chance to make the Remnants my AI slaves, and you destroyed their data! Die with them!"
The small room began to cave in all around us, bricks sliding out of place, cracks running up to the ceiling, and the machine's fire becoming so hot, I thought I would sweat myself to death and suffocate in it before the walls even had a chance to fall.
"You remember your talent," His voice was so soft in my ears, like the whispers of an angel, it nearly caught me off guard, but I quickly nodded.
"You ruined everything again, you dummy Kamukura!" Another yell, and yet another crash of the baton into the walls.
"They were perfect, they were my despair minions, I had everything!"
"Don't hold it back," Izuru muttered quiet enough for Junko to not suspect he was giving me an order, though it was unlikely she could hear anything over her own yelling anyway.
I took a glance to Junko, makeup running down her face caused by tears of fury. The look in her eyes was so distorted, I was convinced she was quite literally blinded by rage. How was I supposed to use my talent to save us?
Useless luck, what could luck do in this situation anyhow?
"But you had to come along with your perfect... Perfectness, and made them join that dumb program, and now they're lost forever!"
I had to do something though. At this rate, if she kept at what it was she was doing, we would most surely be crushed, despite the talent of luck.
Just... Just let it go?
I allowed myself to cling to him tighter, feeling the fire flickering and burning the ends of my jacket.
As she went to hit the walls once more, Junko lost her hold on the baton, causing it to launch past us, stabbing into the back wall just beyond the fire.
The electricity thundered from within, catching onto any internal wires. All at once, the lab was being shot to life. Computer monitors glitching and flickering with the video, the sound as distorted as a demonic nightmare.
Every light seemed to be on at once.
Speakers and lightbulbs, machines and computers, it was like going deaf in the middle of a seizure-inducing light show.
Izuru took the chance of her being unarmed to push himself off me, allowing me to sit up and catch sight of him throwing a strong kick towards Junko.
Her surprised cry was cut short with his shoe pinned to her throat.
"I remember you quite well." His voice seemed... Different. Angry.
"I never liked you. Do your own dirty work from now on." For a long moment, he was frozen as the girl squirmed under his hold. The moment he rose his leg, Junko pushed herself up and inhaled before releasing a wheezed cough.
"You'll die out here, never knowing who or what you are. In the end, you'll regret letting me live."
I thought the grin she gave would haunt my nightmares, but it didn't last long before she stumbled to the back door, coughing not just because of the pressure Izuru had pushed against her, but the smoke that was filling the room with every passing second.
It had already begun to sting my eyes and the worry set in that I would suffocate on the smoke just as she was. I couldn't help a cough and began moving for the door was well.
It seemed so far, and the room was spinning with the flashing lights, I wanted to throw up just then.
With the adrenaline melting out of my blood, the reality was starting to catch up on my body and it... Really didn't feel great.
Not a word was able to leave my mouth before I found everything going dark.

Darkness wasn't a scary thing anymore though.
It was a familiar feeling, safe even.
If I wanted it to be so, I would have allowed myself to be swallowed by the darkness, but in this case, I had a place to return to.
It was unlikely someone like me was even wanted around though.
It was only because of my luck Junko had dropped the stun baton, I didn't even get to move. I did nothing, I've done nothing.
I have no talent. I have no reason to live.
Not a memory to cling to, not a childhood to look back on.
Not even a fragment of what my parents looked like.
If I thought of them though, I imagined they were... Really beautiful together. I was happy back then. I don't remember, but my body does, that's what Izuru had told me, right?
My parents, my friends, my classmates, and teacher, I couldn't remember a single thing, and yet I felt my chest becoming bubbly when I tried to think about what they were like.
I did have friends, didn't I? I was supposed to protect their memories.
And I... Failed.
No, I absolutely had no right to live after failing at such an important thing, but I still had to return. But why?

I found myself feeling suffocated, my heart cold, my hands numb.

"Memories make us who we are, but they're not everything we can be."
Whose... Voice was that?
"I can hear you, and all your worries. You can return, it is not your fault. You're still you, with or without your memories."
No, that's wrong... How could I be me when I don't even remember who I am?
I tried to tune out the voice but it only seemed to be getting stronger, closer.
"Your heart is still yours, that's the most important thing. I didn't need my memories to know I cared for you when I first saw you."
I found myself opening my eyes, the soft brush of hair tickling my neck.
When my eyes met the shining ruby ones of Izuru sitting beside me, I thought I saw him crack a smile for half a moment. "You are okay." He exhaled ever so softly. He reached out, and I couldn't bring myself to complain as one of his cold fingers brushed my cheek. "Are you aware quite how fluffy your hair is?"
Without a response, I turned my head away to hide the warm red upon my cheeks.
"You are Nagito Komaeda." Izuru suddenly murmured. "I saw you in my memories. I had selected you as my own." He pushed himself to a stand.
"But," I started without much of a thought in advance. "We barely remember each other. Do you even still want our relationship to-"
"Yes." He interrupted without a moment's hesitation. "As I told you," The dark male gently closed his eyes with an exhale. "I found myself caring for you before we even found the machine. Perhaps it was infatuation, perhaps not. I'm admittedly not very good at perceiving my own emotions. But I do know you don't need a library of memories to know when you care about another."
I began to push myself up, feeling a slight sting in my lungs from the smoke inhalation. It didn't hurt too much, only enough to cause my moments to become sluggish. I was really unlucky, being hurt twice in such a short time span. As I sat up, a wet cloth fell from my forehead and onto my lap. I was unaware it was even on me, Izuru had probably put it there to help me feel better.
Speaking of that though, I had nearly forgotten about the bandages around my cut. As carefully as I could, I lowered my jacket off my shoulders and looked upon my arm, wrapped in a bandage so perfect, you would think a gift wrapping machine had done it.
"Is your arm feeling alright?" Izuru lowered to a kneel. "Shall we take this off?"
"It's probably not fully healed," I admitted. "But I... Want to see how it's doing."
There was a pause from Izuru before he gave a short nod. As his fingers reached for the end, I quickly flinched as I remembered I happened to be in possession of something that could make the removal easier. Reaching into my jacket pocket, I pulled out a familiar multi-tool that Izuru himself had once given me.
"Use this," I offered him a smile.
He examined the tool with a hint of curiosity before accepting it and opening the blade.
"You gave this to me..." My thoughts were voiced aloud as he made the first cut.
"I don't remember." The male blinked. "I suppose I appreciate you keeping it though."
I found myself recalling back to the first memory I had been returned.
"You told me I could use it better than you could. I'm really happy... This little thing was how I got out of the lab."
Izuru didn't respond, but his touches were light as he weaved his way through cutting the wrapping, careful not to have the blade even graze my skin.
"What sort of memories were you shown?"
The inquisition caused him to pause. Either from thinking or hesitation, I couldn't tell, but he kept going a moment later.
"How the world used to be," He finally ushered. "I remember my birth from being Hajime Hinata, and finding myself working for Junko Enoshima. I also... Remember meeting you." The bandage fell with the final cut and he rose his gaze. I couldn't bring myself to stop looking at his beautiful eyes.
Silence overtook us, and I could feel the warm sun melting its heat upon us.
"What was our meeting?" I finally swallowed back, breaking the silence. Izuru blinked, before reaching close. Though I felt my heart beating with embarrassment, I couldn't simply push him back. He leaned closer, so close I could feel his breath on my ear before whispering.
"You aimed a gun at me." With that, he backed up, a smug smirk upon his lips.
How was I supposed to reply to that!?
"Probably because you kept doing things like that." Unable to resist a pout, I rubbed my ear, still feeling his presence.
Suddenly I found my attention distracted as a small firefly crossed my vision. It couldn't be melting into night already, could it? The sun still felt so warm, but without even realizing it, the skies were orange and red, clouds coloring the sky like heaven's paintbrushes.
"So... What are we going to do tomorrow?" Raising a finger in the air, the small firefly took perch upon my nail. The silence was calming, even if my question remained unanswered.
A long minute passed before Izuru followed the movement and rose his hand in the air. The glowing insect took flight, doing a dance in the air before moving to land on his finger.
The light twinkled in his eyes, making Izuru's ruby irises appear as real jewels.
I couldn't resist staring. How could one person be so beautiful?
Izuru seemed distant, his expression revealing he found himself in a distant place watching the firefly's gentle shimmer.
Suddenly he blinked back to reality as the insect took flight and our eyes caught each other.
"Are you afraid?" He suddenly asked. "We are the last two, a majority of humans have been wiped out, and those who still live are in hiding. Those scientists will not be returning to save us now that their machine is destroyed."
Was I scared? I hadn't even thought about any such things. With almost dying, being afraid of things like that wasn't on my mind at all.
Pulling myself to my feet, I made my way over to the midnight haired male before offering a smile and taking one of his hands in mine.
"I'm not scared. The world is rather beautiful this way, isn't it? One day, there's going to be nothing but endless jungle and wildlife. It makes me rather happy."
Izuru gave a quiet hum, looking out over the cliffside. "You like beautiful things."
"And what do you like?"
He exhaled in response to my question, a soft breeze brushing through his hair. "I don't know. I'm not even sure who I am. Is Hajime the one that likes things, or is it Izuru? What part of me are you infatuated with?"
The question seemed like it came out of nowhere, but it was likely Izuru had been thinking about it for a long time.
It was one question I had no answer to.
Did I ever even know Hajime? My memories could not tell me such things.
"How about we sit down?" I cast a glance to the dark male and gave his hand a careful squeeze. Though he seemed hesitant, Izuru lowered himself down to the edge of the cliff, allowing his legs to hang precariously over the edge.
I followed his lead and took a seat beside him, allowing my body to cuddle at his side. As long as Izuru didn't stop me, it was okay, right?
I didn't want to taint him with the trash that is me, but I just couldn't help it.
"The sunset is pretty." I began. Izuru didn't respond, his eyebrows knit and still exposed his troubled feelings. "I wonder what's up there. What do you think is in space?" I continued after a bit of the stillness in the air.
As Izuru rose his head to the sky, some of the dark locks brushed his cheeks and fell over his shoulders.
His red eyes squinted as though he was looking for something. "Mystery." He finally answered after a moment.
It almost caught me off guard. It was nothing like the answer he gave when we were on the beach.
He began speaking again before I had a chance to reply, "Endless, unknown. Full of light and dark, cold and hot. Good and evil." The male sighed and lowered his head once more, "This question is boring. What is your answer?"
More fireflies had already started to make their appearance the darker the skies became.
Would my answer be enough for him?
It didn't seem like I had much choice in the matter of answering. I sat up straight, placing my hand on his lap.
"I like you for you, Hajime, Izuru, or any other name."
His eyes narrowed, seemingly dissatisfied before turning to make eye contact. "I don't remember anything of being Hajime. All my files, they spoke only of him. His scores, friendships, clubs, records, my mere existence was only mentioned. Was I forgotten? Hated? Did they all like Hajime more? Perhaps I was just an inconvenience. A thief of his body and mind. Who could like the man that stole their best friend away? Can I even call this body my own?" He clenched his fists, digging his fingers into his palms, "Who am I, Nagito Komaeda?"
"You're you, that's all there is to it." I didn't think before placing my hands over his fists, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. "I saw you in my memories. Not Hajime. When the two of us kissed, it lit a fire in my heart. The gift you gave me saved me from remaining stuck within that lab. And when I was unconscious..." I swallowed back my fear before allowing myself to continue. "When I was unconscious, I would have let myself die if you weren't there, guiding me to live. That was you, not Hajime."
Izuru gave a soft, single chuckle of amusement. "Although I do recall a memory of us sharing a kiss, I'm curious of the memories you had returned."
He allowed the silence to take over again, but that wasn't something I was ready to have happen. I wasn't ready to have our conversation end. At least not yet.
"I have an idea." I looked up to the sky, where the stars were twinkling and small flakes of snow were falling once more.
"Let's share a kiss right now, without the adrenaline or memories. A kiss with just us, and how we feel about it."
It seemed to have caught Izuru's attention because for half a second, his eyes twinkled. "Just one then."
When he began to lean forward, I shut my eyes and let out lips connect.
His lips were soft and cold, yet oddly warm. It was as comforting as a kiss could be. I couldn't bring myself to part from the kiss, I found myself only wanting more. Though Izuru's lungs must have been much stronger than my own, because I was the first being forced to break it in order to breathe.
"How did it feel for you?" He asked after giving me a minute to catch my breath.
"It was..." What word do I use to not embarrass myself? I was craving more kisses. "It was great." I finally landed on. It wasn't quite the words I was looking for. 'Incredible, heart-stealing, astonishing, pleasurable' could have all worked just as well.
"And... What about you?"
Izuru paused on my question to think on it a moment before blinking.
"Sloppy." Without warning, I was pushed back into the ground, his hand firmly against my chest to hold me down, "I think we should try again. Until you get it right."
Was he... Saying he wanted more or insulting me? I decided against the latter and gave him as innocent a smile as I could.
"It could take all night." I retorted, "I don't know if you'll have the energy for that."
With his free hand, he suddenly brushed his fingers through my hair. It made my heart leap, the soft touch was as addicting as a drug. I found myself pressing into his hand when he did it again.
"Fluffy," Izuru muttered. "I'll go ahead and kiss you as many times as I feel like."
As our lips connected again, I felt a sense of relief. Relief that we might have just accepted each other, relief that we have a chance to live in this new world.
Even if nobody comes for us, this world... Is one we make on our own.
And wherever Junko escaped to, we can handle ourselves if she finds us again.
We don't need our memories to be us. They make us who we are, but they are not everything we are.
What we become depends on the future, and where we walk for it.