Work Text:
You're my best friend. It's natural to feel this way.
Protective.
But when you look at her,
I feel icy fire inside my chest, burning,
burning.
The first time you called me brother I think my heart broke.
When we were younger
(before we risked our lives on what feels like a weekly basis, before death had tainted and twisted us, before adulthood was even a dot on the horizon, before the birds and the bees, before Allison, before Kira, before Lydia, before Adderall, before Mom, before your dad, before, before, before)
we would share our beds,
and fit together like we were supposed to remain there forever.
I miss those days.
Not just for the childish knowledge that a blanket fort would keep the monsters away.
I remember the days when my brain went too fast, and nobody knew why, and none of the other kids could stand to be near the boy who couldn’t stay on track long enough to play just one game.
You couldn’t either, but you tried. And you laughed. And I knew I’d try for the rest of my life to keep you laughing.
We’ve been ScottandStiles ever since.
It’s not enough and too much all at once. You’re always around me, even when you’re not here.
Your shirts in my drawer, your favourite ice cream in the freezer, your scent on my bed. Even if I removed all traces of you physically, you're branded into me for life.
I’m sure this is how I will die. Drowning in you. For you. Is there a difference, any more?
I can’t bring myself to care.