Work Text:
October 18, 11:37am
Tropicana Asshat: i think it’s very Hurtful of you to give me this nickname
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Oh wig?
Tropicana Asshat: i forgot what I made your name and actually that is so fair of you carry on
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I was going to anyway, but thank you.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: You’re a mess and I’m gonna roast you next time I see you.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I don’t know for what yet, but it’s coming.
Tropicana Asshat: i expect nothing less
October 18, 2:17pm
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I didn’t say it in person but boy,
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: What the FUCK are those?
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Some white boy ass jesus sandals.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: The fuck.
Tropicana Asshat: this is italian man-phobia
Tropicana Asshat: they’re my italian dad birks and i dont deserve this
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: That’s the most white people shit I’ve ever heard.
Tropicana Asshat: i don’t think salt is a spice in my favor.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: That’s…
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Surprisingly fair.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I’ll allow it.
October 19, 12:22pm
Tropicana Asshat: rhodeybear pls tell me u love me
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I’m narrowing my eyes but also
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I love you very much and appreciate your value in my life.
Tropicana Asshat: thank you i love you
Tropicana Asshat: howard called :)))
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I will fight him at the slightest implication.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Drop of a hat, Tones.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Do I care if he’s rich?
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Not even a little bit.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I will square up with Howard Stark.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: What’d he do, tho?
Tropicana Asshat: you know, the usual :)))
Tropicana Asshat: im a disappointment, im a mess, im reckless, blah blah blah :))))))))
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: You have never disappointed me in your life.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I like to joke about you being a mess, but you’re really organised and I benefit from having you in my space.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: And being reckless is relative to the level of danger you have the capacity to deal with.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: You do fine.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: I will fight anyone for you.
Tropicana Asshat: thanks jimbo
Tropicana Asshat: ilu
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Anytime, Tony.
James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ilu2.
October 21, 2:11am
“James “Rhodithan” Rhodes” has changed their name to “Part Time Babysitter”
“Part Time Babysitter” has changed “Tropicana Asshat”’s name to “Semilocal Infant”
Part Time Babysitter: I hate drunk you. For the record.
October 21, 10:57am
Semilocal Infant: i know
Semilocal Infant: im sorry
October 24, 9:22pm
Semilocal Infant: so what are we wearing for halloween rhododendron?
Part Time Babysitter: That might be my least favorite one so far.
Semilocal Infant: you hate rhododendron more than jimsus christ superstar?
Part Time Babysitter: I hate you.
Semilocal Infant: equal parts homophobic and fair
October 24, 10:09pm
Semilocal Infant: ok but what are we wearing for halloween jimmy dean breakfast sandwich
Part Time Babysitter: Do you have a list somewhere?
Part Time Babysitter: Is this something I need to look for next time you give me your phone?
Semilocal Infant: the list is all in my head babey
Semilocal Infant: H A L L O W E E N
Part Time Babysitter: We’re going as Danny and Sandy, stupid.
Part Time Babysitter: You decided that last Christmas.
Semilocal Infant: oh gay
Semilocal Infant: we’re so fuckin cute
Part Time Babysitter: You’re a disaster area.
Part Time Babysitter: I’m going to bed.
Part Time Babysitter: Love you.
Semilocal Infant: whtgrfedfghtfrfgf
Semilocal Infant: love you too
October 25, 10:57am
Semilocal Infant: got out of therapy early
Semilocal Infant: come pick me up?
Part Time Babysitter: Omw.
October 26, 1:13pm
“Part Time Babysitter” has changed their name to “Rhodey”
“Rhodey” has changed “Semilocal Infant”’s name to “Tones”
Rhodey: I’ll kill that guy for you.
Tones: you’re the best friend i’ve ever had
Rhodey: I will cry at the drop of a hat, Tony Stark.
Tones: i know
Rhodey: You’re the best friend I’ve ever had too.
Tones: shut your whole mouth
Rhodey: As opposed to my partial mouth?
Tones: shut it james jonah jameson
Rhodey: That reporter from New York??
Rhodey: I am disgusted, I am revolted, I spend my whole life loving our Lord and Savior Marie Curie.
Tones: big love for my james rhodes
Rhodey: Shut up smh.
October 28, 3:17am
Tones: if i were an enzyme
Tones: i’d be a dna helicase
Tones: so i could unzip your genes
Rhodey: Anthony.
Tones: do you have 11 protons?
Tones: bc you’re sodium fine
Rhodey: Anthony.
Tones: are you made of nickel, cerium, arsenic and sulfur?
Tones: bc you've got a NiCe AsS
Rhodey: Tony you’re not even focused in chem.
Rhodey: You have an 8am.
Rhodey: Do I need to come over?
Tones: you don’t haaave to?
Rhodey: Omw.
Tones: thanks platypus
November 1, 11:14am
Tones: where’d you go? :(
Rhodey: I’m getting breakfast, Tones.
Rhodey: Not leaving you.
Tones: :)
November 2, 3:14pm
Rhodey: Bring me back my jacket, ratboy.
Tones: :)
Rhodey: Tony what is this.
Rhodey: You can’t just.
Rhodey: Love you.
Tones: love you too <3
Rhodey: Thanks for the new jacket, Tones.
November 5, 5:16am
Tones: you can’t go into the military it’s too early
Tones: you’ll have to be awake right now every single day
Rhodey: Tony.
Tones: please?
Rhodey: Tony.
Tones: i know
Rhodey: I’ll come back.
Tones: i know
November 15, 12:16am
Tones: i don’t think you have your phone right now
Tones: in fact i know you don’t
Tones: i know you won’t reply
Tones: but i love you rhodey
Tones: i’ll write a letter tomorrow, i swear
Tones: just wish you were here
Tones: nothing is the same when you’re gone
Tones: i don’t think i’ve ever used my words
Tones: to say that i’m in love with you
Tones: i don’t just love you
Tones: you’re my world, james rhodes
Tones: and it sucks that you’re not here
March 5, 8:02am
Rhodey: You’re a fucking sap, Anthony Edward Stark.
Tones: RHODEY!