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snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
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Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 266,111
- Chapters:
- 89/?
- Comments:
- 19,449
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- 22,145
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Bookmarked by A_thoughtful_pause
30 Aug 2025
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love always wakes the dragon (and suddenly flames everywhere) by themidnightguardian
Fandoms: Bleach (Anime & Manga)
11 Jul 2025
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Summary
“They want me to get married,” Ichigo says with the sort of bewildered offense that he often wears after returning from Seireitei. Specifically, whenever he’s been handed orders from Central 46 that he deems bullshit, and which he’s going to do his damnedest to get out of.
“Did they say who they had in mind?” Kisuke asks, curious. And besides, it’s never too early to start planning how to eliminate a target, should such a thing become necessary.
“They’re trying to marry me off to Byakuya." Ichigo's face is scrunched up. Confusion or disgust—or some blend of both, ideally.
“Probably because you insist on calling him by his given name,” Kisuke says, aiming for teasing and landing a little too close to bitter, instead. It’s been years. Years. And Ichigo still predominantly calls him Getaboushi or Urahara.
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OR:
Central 46 gets it into their heads that Ichigo would be easier to control if he was married off to someone in the Gotei. Kisuke would rather pull an Aizen and kill every last one of them than let that happen. Luckily, Ichigo is--more or less--of the same mind.for the prompt: devotion
Series
- Part 5 of UraIchi Week 2025
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,372
- Chapters:
- 1/2
- Collections:
- 2
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- 92
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- 720
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Bookmarked by A_thoughtful_pause
12 Aug 2025
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When Merlin went to trade his life for Arthur's, he was ready to die; but the Old Religion wanted his life, not his death, and Nimueh did not offer the bargain he was expecting.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,739
- Chapters:
- 12/?
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- 348
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- 1,402
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Bookmarked by A_thoughtful_pause
27 Jun 2025
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Summary
"This merits something quite special!", the king intoned. Merlin had a bad feeling about this.
"You shall be rewarded a position in the royal household."
"But I already have a position in the royal household!"
This is the story of how Merlin did not get 'rewarded' by becoming Arthur's dogsbody and became an actual physician instead. Will destiny still find a way to unite the two to usher in the Golden Age they always promised us?
Let's find out, shall we?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,529
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 902
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- 2,427
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- 815
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- 53,026
Bookmarked by A_thoughtful_pause
23 Jun 2025
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Percy, The Weirdest Prophet Apollo Has Ever Met by diaskedasilexis
Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
03 Nov 2025
Summary
Oct 7 2025 Update: TLH now being posted chapter by chapter.
Percy has been seeing the past and the future all his life. When he was seven and about to die, he called out to Apollo for help. Apollo brought his brand new baby prophet to his oldest living son, Lee Fletcher, to care for. From there the events of Percy Jackson and The Olympians unfold, both similar to, but also entirely different from canon. Most of the characters' ages have been changed, new backstories added and much of this stories explores the complexity of people and gods.
Prequel: ‘You’re a Demigod, Percy’ covers seven year old Percy’s first few months at camp.
The Lightning Thief = The Path Not Chosen
Sea of Monsters = The Thread Yet to Be Renewed
The Titan’s Curse = A Hero’s True Purpose
The Battle of the Labyrinth = A New Age of Heroes
The Last Olympian = Children of Fate
Weight of Expectations = Prequel to the HoO arc, starting with a 7yo Jason
Hope for the Future = The Lost Hero
- Words:
- 1,092,104
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 802
Bookmarked by A_thoughtful_pause
02 Jun 2025
