Archive of Our Own ^beta

The FaceTime call starts to ring, and Joe quickly answers it, eagerly leaning towards the camera. “Hi, Matty!” he says happily, waving at his screen.

“Hi, Uncle Joe,” his nephew says, waving back.

“Hi,” Joe says again, smiling at him. “How are you?” Matthew doesn’t say anything, just bashfully brings his hands up to his face, and Joe laughs. “Aw, are you getting all shy on me?” he asks. “Where’s your mommy?”

Mary pops into the frame, leaning down to gently take her son’s hands away from his face, smiling. “Hi, Joe,” she says, smiling at him. “How’s London?” she asks, sitting down next to Matthew.

“Living the dream, baby,” Joe says, and Mary laughs. “I’m just seeing if Matty will say anything today.”

“He’s a little distracted,” Mary says. “He asked for a new toy. Show Uncle Joe what you got.”

“This!” Matthew exclaims loudly, lifting up a stuffed puppy.

“Wow!” Joe says. “Who gave you that?” he asks.

“Nanny,” Matthew says, burying his face in the puppy’s fur.

“Nanny, huh,” Joe says, nodding. “Wow, what’s his name?”

“I don’t know,” Matthew says softly, shrugging.

“What was the occasion?” Joe asks. “How come Nanny’s giving out gifts?”

“He passed a swimming test,” Mary says.

“He did?” Joe says. “Wow. Good for you, buddy! And you got a stuffed puppy. Did Mommy give you anything too?”

“Mommy gave him lots of fun things like clothes and socks,” Mary says, taking the stuffed puppy from him.

“Wow!” Joe exclaims. “I love clothes and socks. Let me see, Matty.”

Matthew stands up on his chair, carefully holding onto Mary as he lifts up one of his legs, showing off a pair of blue socks with the solar system on them.

“Those are space socks,” Joe says, and Matthew nods, putting his foot back down.

“Look at this one,” Matthew says, lifting up his other foot, showing off another sock with the same pattern.

“Cool!” Joe says. “Matthew, did Mommy give you those?” Matthew nods, and puts his foot back down. “Do you like space?” Matthew nods again.

“Matthew has been reading a lot about space now,” Mary says, “especially since he met Rami. And Gwil.”

“Really?” Joe asks. “Aww, Matty, that’s awesome. What did you learn so far?”

“Did you— did you know Venus is hot?” Matthew asks.

Joe nods. “I did. It’s the hottest planet in our solar system.”

“It’s so hot, really hot,” Matthew continues. “And then they take off.”

“They take off?” Joe repeats. “Who’s taking off?”

“The astronauts take off!” Matthew exclaims, and Joe laughs, nodding.

“Oh, I see now,” Joe says. “Yes, the astronauts take off. In their ships! That’s right.”

“Have you— have you seen it?” Matthew asks, pushing himself back up on his chair, leaning towards the computer, Mary’s hand on him to hold him still.

“The ship?” Joe asks. “Yeah, I have.”

“Has Rami seen it?” Matthew asks.

“Rami lived on it,” Joe says.

“On the ship?” Matthew asks.

Joe nods. “On the ship, for a whole year. With my friend Gwil, remember him? They lived on it together.”

“I remember,” Matthew says. “And I saw a picture of Mars.”

“Wow, what was that like?” Joe asks.

“I don’t know,” Matthew says, and Joe smiles at him. Matthew leans towards the computer again, lightly smacking his hand on the screen.

“Oh, no, Matthew,” Mary says, reaching out to stop him.

“Is Rami home?” Matthew asks.

“He is!” Joe says. “I think he’s in the kitchen. Did you want to say hi to him?”

“Hi Rami!” Matthew screeches loudly, and Joe laughs.

“No, Matty, I meant, do you want to see him?” Joe asks. “I can go get him if you want, do you want to say hi?”

Matthew looks at Mary, who smiles and nods encouragingly. “Is it big?” he asks, looking back at Joe.

“Is what big, Matty?” Joe asks.

“The ship!” Matthew exclaims, and Joe laughs.

“Do you want to ask Rami?” Joe asks. “You can ask him.”

“Okay,” Matthew says softly.

“Okay, just one sec,” Joe says. “Don’t go anywhere!” He sets his laptop down on the sofa and then quickly walks into the kitchen, where Rami is putting away the groceries they just bought. “Come here, babe,” he says, holding his hand out. “You’ve got a fan.”

“A fan?” Rami repeats, taking Joe’s hand, following him back out into the living room. Joe sits back down on the sofa, picking up his laptop, and Rami sits down next to him.

“I found somebody!” Joe says, and Matthew looks at Rami, and then smiles and turns to bury his face in Mary’s shirt.

“Hi Matthew,” Rami says gently. “How are you?”

“Say hi, Matthew,” Mary says, trying to turn him to look back at the camera, but Matthew just climbs onto her lap. “Sorry, he’s still shy sometimes. Matthew, you just saw Rami not that long ago, remember?”

“That’s alright,” Rami says.

“Matthew was telling me about space,” Joe says. “He’s learning all about space and he wants to ask you a question.”

“Oh, I’d love to hear it,” Rami says. “I love space.”

“Ask Rami your question,” Mary says softly, rubbing Matthew’s back.

Matthew looks at the camera quickly, and then looks away again before shyly turning around, facing them. Rami gives him an encouraging smile. “Is it big?” Matthew asks softly.

“Is what big?” Rami asks. “Space?”

“The ship!” Matthew replies. “What’s it called?”

“Oh,” Rami says. “The ship I was on was called the Mercury.”

“That’s a planet!” Matthew proclaims, and Rami smiles and nods.

“It is, you’re right,” Rami says. “And it was very big.”

“How big?” Matthew asks.

“Uh, hmm,” Rami murmurs, trying to think. “Bigger than your nanny’s house,” he says, and then tries not to roll his eyes at himself.

Matthew nods, then reaches out towards the computer again. “Rami?” he asks.

“Yes?” Rami says.

Matthew pouts a little and then sits back down. He leans up, whispering something in Mary’s ear, and Mary laughs softly.

“You can ask him that, sweetie,” Mary says. “He’s nice, he won’t mind.”

“Are you married yet?” Matthew asks.

Joe beams over at Rami, and Rami smiles. “Not yet, Matthew. You’re invited, remember? You’re going to be there when we get married,” Rami says.

“Okay,” Matthew says, and then he giggles a bit. He hits the table a couple times and then turns to Mary, putting his hands on the stuffed puppy. “Can I show Rami?” he asks.

“Of course,” Mary says, handing the stuffed toy back to him.

“This is mine,” Matthew says, lifting the toy up to the camera.

“Oh, that’s so lovely, Matthew,” Rami says, nodding. “That’s so nice. Does he have a name?”

Matthew shakes his head. “No.”

“That’s alright,” Rami says. “He looks like a good boy, I’m sure he doesn’t mind waiting for a bit.”

“Do you live in space still?” Matthew asks.

Rami chuckles softly, shaking his head. “I live in London, with your uncle. You know that. I used to live in space, but not anymore. I’m staying on Earth now.”

“Okay,” Matthew says again. “That’s good.”

Rami smiles. “Good. I’m happy here, I like it here.”

“Guess what else?” Matthew asks. “We have cake.”

“You’re having cake later?” Joe asks, and Matthew nods. “What kind?”

“I don’t know,” Matthew says, and Mary whispers in his ear. “Vanilla,” he says after a moment.

“Oh god, Matthew, that’s so yummy,” Joe says, and Rami chuckles. “Will you have a piece for me and Rami?”

“Okay,” Matthew agrees. He starts bouncing in his chair, and looking off at something in the distance.

“Do you need to go play now?” Matthew nods again, and Joe laughs. “Okay, buddy. You go play. I love you.”

“I love you,” Matthew says. He snuggles the toy to his chest, and then looks at Rami. “I love you, Rami.”

Joe reaches out to take Rami’s hand, squeezing it gently.

“I love you, too, Matthew,” Rami says. “Bye-bye.”

“Say bye now,” Mary says, and Matthew waves eagerly then hops off his chair, shrieking as he runs away. “Thank you both,” she says.

“Have fun!” Joe says. “Kid’s a wild one.”

“Oh, I know,” Mary says. “I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye.”

“Bye!” Joe says, and Rami waves. Mary ends the call, and Joe closes his laptop. He looks over at Rami, and sighs. “God, I want one.”

Rami smiles and nods, leaning in to give Joe a kiss. “I know you do.”

“God, a little you!” Joe says. “It’d be so cute, I’d cry. Literally every time I held them, I’d bawl my eyes out.” In their more serious discussions about having a child, Rami and Joe decided they wanted to try to find a surrogate first, before adopting, and the idea of having a mini version of Rami running around is just about the best thing Joe can think of.

Rami opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it, nodding jerkily. “Uh, yes,” he says after a moment.

Joe narrows his eyes a bit, straightening up. He sets his laptop down on the table and then turns to him. “You okay?” he asks.

“Mm-hmm,” Rami says. “I just…” He shrugs a bit. He leans in and gives Joe a quick kiss, and then pushes himself back up. “I just have to finish up in the kitchen.”

Joe frowns, watching Rami walk back towards the kitchen. Instantly his mind to goes to the worst place: that this is Rami trying not to hurt Joe’s feelings, while admitting that he doesn’t want a child anymore. No, Joe tries to tell himself, no. Rami wouldn’t just hide that. He’d say something. This is Rami! The one who surprisingly made the first move. No. Joe pushes himself up and follows after Rami, leaning against the doorway of the kitchen, watching Rami go back to putting away the food he’d left out.

Rami quickly smiles over at him. “What did you want for supper?” he asks.

“Oh, uh,” Joe says, shrugging. “Whatever you’re making?” he says, and Rami laughs.

“Alright,” Rami says, “well, I want pasta.”

“Okay, never mind,” Joe says, “I will make it.”

“I thought so,” Rami smiles.

Joe walks into the kitchen and sighs, giving Rami a kiss, and then shifting behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist, shifting as Rami’s shifts, moving with him as he unpacks the groceries. “Matthew’s great, isn’t he?”

Rami smiles and nods, reaching up to put a package of biscuits away. “He’s sweet. They all are. I love watching you with him.”

“I love him so much,” Joe says softly. “I just wish I could see him more.”

“I know,” Rami says. “I do. I’m sorry you can’t.” He sighs, turning around in Joe’s arms, wrapping his arms around Joe’s neck. “We can go back more often, if you’d like. I don’t particularly love flying but I don’t mind. For you.”

Joe smiles. “Especially considering at some point there might be a couple years where I don’t get to go home at all,” he says. He’s not really trying to trick Rami, he just wants to see how he’s going to react. “Might be hard to travel with a baby.”

“That’s true,” Rami says, nodding. “I don’t know how people do it. It’s such a long flight.” He smiles. “Whenever you’d like. Until uni starts, I’m free. And there’s always holidays.”

“Okay,” Joe says, giving Rami a quick kiss. And he breathes a quiet sigh of relief. Rami didn’t protest, didn’t seem uncomfortable at the mention of a baby. He smiles, and then buries his face in Rami’s neck, gently nipping at him.

“Joe!” Rami exclaims, starting to laugh, pushing him away.

“Okay, fine,” Joe says, but he settles his weight against Rami, sighing dreamily. “I love you, you know.”

“I love you, too,” Rami says. “You know that.”

Joe smiles, nodding. “I do.” He kisses Rami again. Then he decides to try something else. “Oh! And at work today, I got an email about wedding menus.”

“Oh!” Rami says in surprise. “That’s— is that too early? I don’t know.”

Joe shrugs. “I don’t think so,” he says. “The wedding is in…” He playfully looks at his watch. “Fifteen months.”

“Wow,” Rami says, smiling. “When you say it like that, that’s— that’s exciting.”

“Yeah?” Joe asks, and Rami nods happily. “Well, we can look at menus then. After supper?”

“Alright,” Rami says. “I’d like that.”

Joe smiles and finally detaches himself from Rami, moving around the kitchen to start preparing for supper. He glances over at him a couple times. So, still excited for the wedding. Seems to like Matthew. Still on board for kids. He frowns a bit, thinking.

Suddenly, it’s like all Joe can see are the kids around them. He and Rami get on the tube to go see a film, and a man with a baby strapped to his chest sits down next to them. Joe gasps and excitedly looks at Rami, who just smiles.

“I see,” Rami says, and Joe reaches out to take his hand.

A few days later, when Rami and Gwil are in Perth for a therapist appointment, Ben and Joe go out to lunch and see a couple with a newborn, and Joe can’t help but shift so that he can get a better look at it. “Look, Ben,” he says, “he’s so little!”

Ben smiles and pats Joe on the back. “He is.”

“It’s weird,” the mother says, looking up at them, “because he’s actually five years old.” She grins at them and Joe smiles, his cheeks hurting. He wants that.

He sees mums holding their children in the bookstore, dads pushing a pram outside the IIS. One of his co-workers has a picture of her children on her desk that he stares at whenever he has to go talk to her.

The peak is when Joe is coming home from work one night. He walks past a group of tourists, and he sees a little boy, maybe two years old, wearing a Yankees hat, holding onto his father’s hand. Joe just about loses his mind.

“Is it possible for a man to have baby fever?” Joe announces as he walks into the flat. “Is that a thing?” He glances into the dining room, then walks into the living room, seeing Rami on the sofa. “Babe, I saw a kid, in a Yankees hat, I was two seconds away from straight-up stealing it—”

Rami quickly sits up, glancing around. “Did you?” he asks worriedly, and then he smiles.

“No, I did not,” Joe says, dropping down next to him. “It was close though. Ugh, can we put our baby in Yankees stuff?”

Rami shrugs, settling against him. “I don’t mind,” he says.

“Even though we live in England?” Joe asks.

“Sure,” Rami says.

“Amazing,” Joe says softly. “God, I can’t wait.”

“Well, you do have to,” Rami says. “At least until after I’m done uni.”

“I know,” Joe says. He sighs. “But I mean, we’re not— like, us having a baby requires planning. It’s not just going to happen. I can’t just knock you up.”

Rami smiles. “Are we going to pretend that you can, though?” he teases.

Joe chuckles. “Baby, I’d do anything you want,” he says, voice low, and Rami gives him a kiss. “No, but I mean, seriously like…we have to start looking. You start school soon. And we’re wedding planning. You graduate. We get married. What— if we wait until then to even start, we’ll be really far behind, won’t we?”

Rami looks down at that, nodding. “And sometimes I already feel so far behind,” he says softly.

“I don’t want to be like, 45 with a newborn,” Joe says. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he says, “I just…”

Rami nods, settling against him. “Okay,” he says. “So…how do we plan?” he asks.

“Well, finding a surrogate is a good place to start,” Joe says.

Rami nods. “I…well, I sort of had an idea,” he says, shifting in his seat.

“Yeah?” Joe asks.

Rami nods. “I don’t know if you’ll like it or not, though.”

“Well, lay it on me, babe,” Joe says.

“I thought maybe we could ask Adriana,” Rami says. “Or Maria. I know it’s a big favour to ask them, and it’d be alright if they said no, but I also thought it might be nice that they’re— they’re family.”

Joe frowns at that. “Uh…really?” he asks.

“What’s wrong with them?” Rami asks. “I know Maria’s quite busy but— well, like I said, it’s alright if they say no, but—”

“Won’t the baby be like all…” Joe trails off, waving his hand between them. “Uh. Weird?”

“Joe!” Rami exclaims. “There’s nothing wrong with them!”

“No!” Joe says. “I know that, I don’t mean them, I mean like…ugh, you can’t have kids with your nieces! I know it’s like, I know there’s a few years between you, but no. No! You can’t have kids with your nieces.”

“I wasn’t…” Rami trails off, “planning on it?”

Joe frowns. “Wait, what?” he asks.

“I thought you would,” Rami says.

Joe scoffs. “What? Me? Why? Babe, we talked about this—”

“No, we haven’t,” Rami says. “You said you want me to be the father, but you didn’t actually ask.”

“So, wait, what?” Joe asks. “I— I thought you wanted to.”

“Well, I don’t,” Rami says. “Besides, you love children, don’t you?” he asks.

Joe shrugs. “Well, yeah, but—”

“Then it should be yours,” Rami says. “Really Joe, I don’t mind. I want it to be yours.”

Joe can’t believe his ears. Sure, of course, before he met Rami and thought that he might end up with a woman, having a baby that was a little copy of him sounded great! It’s not like he’s opposed to the idea. But ever since he figured out that Rami was the one he was going to be spending his life with, he’s always wanted a little Rami. This…this is a surprise, to say the least. And he thought that Rami was on board.

“Why?” Joe asks. “I mean, have you seen me?” He scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Don’t,” Rami says, straightening up a bit. “I don’t like that. You’re beautiful. The idea that— that you think you’re ugly, I can’t—I can’t live with that. That makes me so sad.”

“Hey, hey,” Joe says. “No being sad. Okay? No. That’s…I’ll stop. I promise. I…besides, I mean, I know I’m not ugly. The Mazzellos have strong genes, for sure; I mean, Mary and I basically have the same exact face.” Rami laughs a bit at that. “And she’s not ugly.”

“No,” Rami says, “and neither are you. You’re so handsome.” He smiles. “Our baby could have your hair,” he says, reaching up to gently push his fingers through Joe’s hair. “I love your hair.”

“You mean my receding hairline,” Joe mutters, reaching up to brush his fingers through his hair, trying to fix it.

“I mean the colour,” Rami says. “It’s such a pretty colour. I love auburn.” He sighs and shifts next to Joe, reaching up to drag his finger on the bridge of Joe’s nose. “And your nose. It’s so distinguished.”

“That means big,” Joe says, trying to turn his head away from Rami.

“That means it was one of the first things I noticed about you,” Rami says, “and I’ve always quite liked it. It fits you perfectly.” He smiles. “And your eyes.”

“Oh, come on now,” Joe says. “You’ve got the prettiest eyes, we all know that. It goes you, Ben, Gwil, then me.”

Rami rolls his eyes. “You’ve ranked us by our eyes?” he asks.

Joe shrugs. “Well, no, I mean, I just did it then, but that’s how it would go.”

“I think you’re biased,” Rami says. “I’m not sure I’m at the top of that list. Besides, I love your eyes. I love the colour, and the shape, and the way they look when you smile.” He smiles at him, and then leans in, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth.

Joe shifts on the sofa, tightening his arm around Rami. “I’m starting to think you might really like me,” he murmurs, and kisses Rami again. “I just…I don’t know, babe.” He shakes his head a bit. “That’s just not how I imagined it.”

Rami looks down. “I’m sorry,” he says. “But…that’s how I want it. I—”

Joe sighs a bit. “Well, at least it’s out in the open, I guess.”

“Are you angry with me?” Rami asks quietly.

Joe shakes his head. “No, no, not at all. Babe, no. That’s…I just wish I knew. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“Okay,” Rami says, and he shifts, turning away from Joe a bit, and Joe’s heart aches.

But now, Joe wants to know what it is. Why Rami is so set on Joe being the father. He can’t figure it out, but he doesn’t want to bother Rami about it again either. He doesn’t know how to bring it back up. He knows he can be a lot; he doesn’t think he can bug Rami into just giving up and not wanting a kid with him at all, but there’s still a part of him that doesn’t want to risk it.

But bothering Gwil and Ben? That’s fine.

He waits until they’re all out to eat one night, at a pub in Shoreditch. Rami slips out of the booth to join the long line for the bathroom, and Joe immediately turns to Gwil and Ben.

“So Gwil,” Joe says quickly. “Has Rami ever said he…didn’t want kids?”

Gwil looks up from his food, frowning. “No, of course not.”

“Did he say something to you?” Ben asks.

Joe shakes his head. “No. Just wondering.”

“Rami’s made it very clear how much he wants children with you, Joe,” Gwil says. “To all of us. Don’t worry.”

Joe sighs. “Okay, and like, I hear you, but…are you lying?”

Ben starts to laugh, rolling his eyes. “Yes, that’s what Gwil does. Terrible liar. All the time with it. What are you saying?”

“I don’t know!” Joe says. “Gwil’s made it pretty clear he likes Rami more than me—”

“Well, yes,” Gwil murmurs, and Ben laughs again.

“So maybe, I don’t know,” Joe says. “Maybe he’d lie to protect him.”

“I don’t want to get involved in your relationship,” Gwil says, “but if I thought that Rami was lying to you about something as important as that, I would certainly…say something.”

“Really?” Joe asks. “Oh. Thank you, Gwil.”

“Of course, Joe,” Gwil says.

“Hmm,” Joe murmurs, thinking to himself. “So, would you say your official job is biologist?” he asks suddenly.

Ben coughs on his drink, starting to laugh again, and Gwil just sighs. “I don’t even know why I try,” Gwil mutters to himself. “I’m, well, no,” he says to Joe. “Well, yes, but—”

“Okay, I’m confused,” Joe says.

“Yes, botany is a branch of biology,” Gwil says, “so…yes. I am a biologist. But unless your question is related to plants, I probably can’t help.”

“Who do you think would be a better dad?” Joe asks. “Me or Rami?”

Gwil makes a face and looks over at Ben, who’s completely given up on trying to stifle his laughter “I…is that related to plants?” he asks helplessly.

Joe shrugs. “In a way, aren’t we all pl—"

“No,” Gwil says flatly, and Ben snorts.

“Okay, fine,” Joe says. “But in your professional opinion, again, who do you think would make a better dad?”

Gwil sighs. “In what way? Experience with children, or—or disciplinary, or—”

“No, like biologically,” Joe says. “Like, whose DNA do you think is less fucked up.”

“Rami’s, for sure,” Ben says. “Mate, you’re a disaster.” He smirks and takes another drink.

“Oh, come on,” Joe says. “I mean, seriously. Like, as far we know, did spending between one to one hundred years in space like, mutate him?”

Gwil shakes his head. “Not that we know of, no. They ran blood tests when we got back. Higher levels of radiation, perhaps, but no, we—nothing long lasting.”

“Right,” Joe says. “What about like, genetic predisposition to things? His dad died young, and so did mine, so. Like.”

“I, you’d have to have some tests run, Joe, for me to know that,” Gwil says. “I’m sorry. But any doctor could help you.”

“Right,” Joe says softly. “Yeah. Nelly had a heart attack, though.”

“Right, but Nelly’s younger than him,” Ben says. “In a weird way. Right? Like…” He trails off, wondering if he’s a bit out of his depth in a conversation about biology with his biologist boyfriend. “Her heart issues could’ve come from someone else, a different side of the family, right? It’s not like Rami’s inheriting anything from her. Or her from him, necessarily.”

“Exactly,” Gwil says, nodding. “If you’re concerned about his heart health, Rami should have bloodwork done, to test his cholesterol, things like that.”

Joe nods slowly, tapping his fingers on the table.

“So, can you please explain what is happening right now?” Ben asks.

“I don’t know,” Joe says. He sighs. “I was talking to Rami the other day and it turns out that he wants me to be the father of our baby. I mean, we’re the father. Fathers. You know what I mean. He wants it to be my DNA. I’m just trying to figure out why. I thought maybe he’d mentioned something to you, that he was worried he’d like…pass something along. I don’t know.”

“Did you ask him?” Ben asks.

Joe shakes his head. “No, I don’t wanna bug him.”

“But bug us, that’s fine,” Gwil murmurs.

Joe grins. “Exactly! You get it.” He drops the grin though, biting his lip. “I just…I mean, it’s a baby. It’s going to be my baby. I want…I want it to be perfect.”

Ben smiles. “And you think it’ll only be perfect if it’s Rami’s?” he asks.

“Well, yeah,” Joe says, “‘cause he’s perfect.”

Ben and Gwil both grin. “So, tell him that,” Gwil says. “Unless your plan is to just…what?”

“I was kind of thinking that we just like, jerk into a cup together and not know who the father is?” Joe says.

Ben’s eyebrows shoot up and Gwil just slowly looks over at him in disbelief. Ben shrugs and Gwil shakes his head.

“Uh, hate to tell you this, mate,” Ben says, “but I think you…might figure it out.”

“What do you mean?” Joe asks, cocking his head to the side a bit.

Gwil closes his eyes, trying to calm himself and not laugh. “He means, politely, that you and Rami look nothing alike.”

Ben starts to laugh again. “Seriously, Joe, you—” he raises his hand up to his mouth, shoulders shaking. “You would know. You’re like…translucent compared to him.”

“Hey!” Joe exclaims. “That’s rude. We’re like, you know…that’s not nice. Just because I burn easily.”

“He has black hair and you have red,” Gwil says. “Brown eyes and blue eyes. Wha—how—you would know.”

“Ugh, fine,” Joe says. “I know, we’d know.” He frowns. “Well, in happier news, as everything falls apart around me, we picked the menu for the wedding.”

“That’s lovely,” Gwil says, nodding. “I’m sure it’ll be delicious.”

“Joe,” Ben says, “you two are meant to be together. Just…have the conversation. It’s not that hard.”

Joe looks at Ben, and then snorts. “Oh, right. This coming from you?”

“Hey!” Gwil says, at the same time Ben rolls his eyes.

“I’m just trying to help,” Ben says. “You two are planning your wedding. You want to have a baby. At some point you’re going to have to talk about it. At least ask him why. We can’t help you.”

Joe bites down on the inside of his lip, sighing. “Just nervous is all.”

“About what?” Gwil asks.

Joe shrugs. “That…I don’t know. I’ll mess up.”

Ben reaches out, putting his hand on Joe’s. “He wants it to be yours, Joe. That’s not— that’s a good sign. Even if you disagree on that, it means he loves you. He wants to have your child.”

“I guess so,” Joe says. “But what if he wants it to be mine so that like, if we get divorced, he can just be like, peace! And then we never see him again.”

“No,” Gwil says. “No.” He shakes his head. “I— I refuse— Joe. Come on. Rami. Leaving you, and his child? It’s not gonna happen.”

“Please talk to him,” Ben says. “He’s your fiancé. You have to be able to talk to him.”

“Ugh, but I don’t wanna!” Joe exclaims.

“Don’t want to what?” Rami asks, appearing back at the booth.

The three of them all jump, turning to look at him.

“Uh,” Joe’s eyes widen, and Ben gives him an encouraging nod. “Don’t wanna…” He groans out an awkward noise and then sighs. “Uh.”

“Oh my god,” Gwil mutters.

“Well, when you’re done coming up with a lie,” Rami says, sitting back down next to Joe, “let me know.” He smiles and leans in to give Joe a kiss as Gwil and Ben start to laugh again.

“Just wedding stuff,” Joe says. “Don’t want to…” He looks over at Gwil and Ben, slowly shaking his head. “Holy fuck,” he murmurs, “I’m terrible at this. Uh, uh, suits! Their suits?” he asks.

“Right,” Rami says, shaking his head, twirling his straw around his drink. “That’s what you two are going to let him come up with?” he asks.

“I’m not helping him lie,” Gwil says, raising his hands. “Joe’s an adult, he can fail all on his own.”

“And boy is he,” Ben says.

“I’m sure it had something to do with flowers,” Joe says. “Um, yeah. Those. Flowers. Uh, corsages?”

“Those are usually worn by women,” Rami says. "We don't need them."

“That’s what I’m saying,” Joe says. “I don’t want a corsage!”

“Right,” Rami says, nodding. “Alright. Keep your secrets, that’s fine.” He takes a sip of his drink, and then picks up his fork.

“Hey, we don’t have secrets,” Joe says. Ben and Gwil both pointedly look at Joe, and Joe bites down on his lip. “Uh…it’s uh. I’ll tell you later.” He groans.

“That was bloody pathetic,” Ben murmurs, reaching over to pat Joe on the shoulder.

“I know,” Joe mutters, hanging his head in shame.

Gwil looks up at the IIS building, take a deep breath before nervously walking up the stairs, shifting the tray of drinks in his hand as he opens the door. He keeps his head down, as he always does when he goes to the IIS, hoping that no one there will recognize him. He does go to the reception area though, knowing that he has to sign in and get a key card to move around the building. As always, he notices a look pass over their face when he says his name, but they don’t comment otherwise.

Gwil takes the stairs, walking up towards Joe’s office. The door is half open, and Gwil knocks a couple times.

“Yup!” Joe calls, and Gwil pushes the door open the rest of the way, walking in. “Oh, hi!” Joe says, obviously surprised to see him, standing up from behind his desk.

“Hi,” Gwil says, smiling. He walks over to his desk and sits down across from him, picking up one drink from the tray, handing it over to Joe.

“Damn,” Joe says, examining the drink before taking a quick sip. “Visiting me and bringing me gifts? To what do I owe the pleasure, Mister Lee?” He winks, then sits back down, reaching his hand out to Gwil. “Here to confess your love to me?” he asks, voice low.

“Of course,” Gwil says, shifting in his seat. “Do you want to run away with me?”

“Sure,” Joe says. He sighs, glancing at his watch. “Can we be back by 6, though?” he asks.

Gwil grins, nodding. “Sure.” He brings his cup up, taking a drink.

“Okay, great,” Joe says. “Now, from what I understand, you are a top. Are you willing to switch that up a bit?”

Gwil snorts, choking a bit on his drink, laughing loudly. He coughs, clearing his throat. “For you, Joe? Anything.”

“I’m sold,” Joe says. “Now, what’s up? For real.”

Gwil swallows, shifting a bit in his seat again. “Can’t I just visit a mate at work?” he asks.

“I mean, you can,” Joe says, “and I very much appreciate some boys time. I just, without Rami or Ben here, I’m kind of thinking that something’s up. So…is something up? I assume if something was wrong, this— you wouldn’t be bringing me coffee.”

“No,” Gwil says softly. “And no, nothing’s wrong. I— wanted to talk to you. About Rami.”

Joe’s eyebrows shoot up a bit, and he straightens up in his seat. “What’s wrong?” he asks quickly.

“Joe,” Gwil says, “I just said nothing’s wrong.”

“I know,” Joe says, “but—”

“Joe,” Gwil says sternly, and Joe sighs, nodding.

“Alright,” he says, sitting back. “Okay.”

Gwil takes another sip and then swallows hard, sighing. “It’s about what we were talking about, the other day. Your— you and Rami, and your child.”

“Oh,” Joe says. “What— Rami said something, didn’t he. He— he doesn't want a baby anymore, does he.”

“It’s not that,” Gwil says. “Joe, it’s not that, I swear.”

“No, it’s—” Joe shakes his head. “He— of course not. He— why would he, I mean, he could be with anyone, and I’m— huh, I’m me, so—”

“Joe,” Gwil says gently, reaching out to take his hand, “stop, please. It’s not that, I promise it’s not that. He loves you, I swear. You know that.”

Joe just takes a drink of coffee, sighing heavily. “I— I get…worried, sometimes,” he says softly. “That’s dumb, right?”

“It’s not dumb,” Gwil says, “it’s just…not true. I know how much he loves you.”

Joe smiles faintly. “Okay,” he says softly. “So— so what’s going on? What’s— what’s wrong?” he asks again, voice going flat.

“You asked why Rami might not want to be the father,” Gwil says. “And I was thinking about it, and…I think I know.”

“You do?” Joe asks eagerly, sitting forward again.

“I don't know for sure,” Gwil says, “but…yes.” He sighs, shifting again in his seat, starting to feel uncomfortable. “Joe, Rami’s…well. You know, his family’s not from here.”

“Yeah, I know,” Joe says. “His parents are from Cairo.”

“Right,” Gwil says. He looks at Joe, expecting him to get it, but it’s obvious that Joe still doesn’t understand. He tilts his head a bit, waiting for Joe to clue in. “Joe,” he says. “He’s— Egyptian. In England.” Joe just blinks a couple times, and Gwil sighs. He knows that England has changed in the last hundred years, and Rami certainly hasn’t faced any prejudice since they’ve gotten back (at least not that he’s seen or that Rami’s mentioned), but he finds it hard to believe that Joe doesn’t understand what it used to be like for him. He frowns a bit. In some way, he supposes that that’s a good thing: if Joe can’t comprehend it, then Gwil guesses things are different for more than just gay people now. He taps his fingers a couple times on Joe’s desk. “There was a family that lived in the same building as Sami and Rami,” he says, trying a different tactic. “They had a few children, three lads and a couple of girls, I think.”

“Dang, that’s too many,” Joe murmurs.

“The boys would yell at them,” Gwil says. “I heard them a few times.”

Joe frowns. “Yell what?” he asks.

Gwil shakes his head. “I don’t want to repeat it,” he says. “I…” He sighs. “Rog and I had a neighbour who would look at us whenever Sami and Rami came over. Shut their doors. Or shopkeepers. They’d watch them.” He studies Joe, seeing the realization start to come over his face. “The boys, in their building, they had an older…cousin, I think. He spit at them once.”

Joe looks down at the desk, then pushes his coffee cup away from him, having suddenly lost his appetite for it. “He— I…didn’t know,” he says after a few moments.

“I know,” Gwil says.

“I mean,” Joe groans, “I knew. Fuck, I knew. When I took him home for Christmas he was scared my family would be, like, upset that he’s Egyptian. It didn’t make any sense, why would they care, but—”

“They cared then,” Gwil says. “In 1939, people cared.”

Joe just shakes his head. “Just, fuck, why, though? I don’t—” He groans. “I’m not saying I’m an idiot, like, yeah, I guess, I knew, like the world’s not perfect, I just…” He shakes his head again. “He doesn’t want a baby that looks like him.”

“I’m not saying that,” Gwil says. “I’m saying that I think he’s…nervous. And that he knows what he went through. Rami is so proud of his family’s heritage, you know that as much as I do, but it’s…hard for him, at times, still, I think. He just wants to give his child the best chance in life, and I think I’m right in saying that he might think that means…” He sighs, gesturing towards Joe. “Looking like you. Having a name like you.”

Joe bites down on the inside of his lip, looking back down at his desk. “I’m a terrible fiancé,” he says to himself, and Gwil shakes his head.

“That’s not true,” Gwil says. “Joe, you know that’s not true.”

“I mean, I’m a fucking idiot,” Joe says, looking back up. “He—” He groans. “Well, first of all, can I build a time machine and go back and kill his fucking neighbours?”

Gwil smiles. “I— if that’s all you plan on doing with your time machine, I might be a bit upset, but I won’t stop you, no.”

Joe just shakes his head. “It— it honestly never even crossed my mind, Gwil.”

“I know,” Gwil says.

“He—” Joe sighs. “Gwil, I— oh my god I’m so mad at myself.”

“Don’t be,” Gwil says. “But talk to him, okay?” Joe nods. “Joe, Rami wants to marry you. And he wants to have a child with you. But just…just talk.”

Joe nods again. “Yeah,” he says softly. He sighs heavily, then picks his drink back up, taking a sip. “I just really want a little Rami running around, you know?”

Gwil smiles. “So do I,” he says. “It sounds a lot safer than a wee Joe terrorizing England. Cuter too.”

Joe grins. “I’d take offence, but I know it’s true.” He sighs. “So, you didn’t actually come here to hit on me. You came to help.”

“I did,” Gwil says, nodding.

“Because I’m your friend?” Joe asks hopefully, and Gwil smiles again.

“Of course you are,” Gwil says. “And I know how important this is to you. To both of you. And I don’t want you to think that Rami doesn’t want a baby, Joe. Or that he doesn’t love you. Because I know he does.”

Joe bites on his lip, and then nods a couple times. “Thank you,” he says. He sighs. “Okay, time for a serious conversation with Rami, I guess. Again.”

Gwil nods. “I think so.” He picks up his coffee, taking a drink.

“What about you?” Joe asks suddenly, tapping his fingers on the desk a couple times.

“What about me?” Gwil asks.

Joe shrugs. “You and, you know. Kids.” He gives him a quick smile. “I don’t know what your deal is. I mean, I know it wasn’t like, a possibility then. Not really, but…are you, is it enough to be Uncle Gwil?” Gwil looks down for a moment, and Joe straightens up a bit. “I mean, sorry, not my business. You know. But also, FYI, you and Ben should not be having kids right now.”

Gwil has to smile at that. “Well, you’re not wrong,” he murmurs. “And uh, I don’t know, really. I…was chuffed to be Uncle Gwil. I love my nieces and nephews, and I knew that having children wasn’t going to happen for me and Rog. And I was fine with that.”

“But now?” Joe asks softly.

Gwil shrugs. “Now, I— don’t know. Ben and I haven’t had that conversation. I don’t even know if he wants them or not.”

Joe nods slowly. “Uh, this may not be the best time to say it, but, once again, I’m…sorry. For what happened.”

Gwil nods. “Thank you,” he says softly.

Joe opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it again, shaking his head. He smiles faintly. “I know we’re still in the process of finding your nieces and nephews, but would you consider also being Uncle Gwil to my… future, hypothetical, non-existent kid that may never come into this world?” he asks. “You and Ben both, obviously. I— would that be okay?

Gwil chuckles, and then nods. “Yes, of course,” he says. “I’d love that. Of course, you’re going to have to speak to Rami first, you know.”

Joe groans loudly. “Yes, I know. I know.” He sighs, and Gwil pushes his chair back a bit, and Joe frowns. “Wait, where are you going?” he asks.

“Home?” Gwil says, sounding unsure.

“Oh,” Joe says, “you sure you don’t…want to stay?”

Gwil smiles. “And…watch you work?” he asks.

“Well, no,” Joe says. “Would you—” He glances down at his watch. “Could we get something to eat?” he asks hopefully. “I get kind of lonely in my office,” he admits quietly.

Gwil nods. “Absolutely,” he says. “My pleasure.”

“Really?” Joe asks, standing up quickly.

Gwil nods. “Sure,” he says. “Where do you want to go?” he asks.

Joe just grins at him. “I— anywhere!” he says. “Awesome. Okay.” Gwil stands up, and the two of them walk out of the office together. “You really do like me, don’t you?” he asks.

Gwil grins and rolls his eyes. “I think so, yes! Finally worn me down.”

“Only took over a year,” Joe says, playfully bumping against Gwil.

Gwil chuckles. “And every second of it has been an absolute joy.”

Joe smiles, then looks down at his feet as they walk.

“You alright?” Gwil asks, reaching out to rest his hand on Joe’s shoulder.

Joe looks up, and nods. “Yeah, it’s just— me. Being dumb. I— I don’t know. I really thought that I’d— messed up, or something. And I did, I just didn’t know about what.”

“You didn’t mess up,” Gwil says. “Joe.”

Joe shrugs. “Why didn’t he tell me?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” Gwil says. “He didn’t want you to worry about— about things that happened a hundred years ago and that you can’t control.”

Joe nods, then scoffs, shaking his head. “Now I’ve somehow made people being assholes to him all about me! I—” His voice breaks and he shakes his head, the two of them stopping on the staircase.

Gwil immediately pulls Joe into a hug, holding him close.

“I’m a big baby,” Joe mutters in Gwil’s shirt, and Gwil chuckles softly.

“You’re a man in love,” Gwil says, “who wants nothing but the best for the man he loves. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Joe nods, sniffling, pulling back a bit to wipe his eyes. “You probably weren’t expecting to get cried on when you showed up here,” he says, and Gwil chuckles.

“No, not really,” Gwil admits. “But I’ve seen worse.” He smiles. “This is a real conversation, Joe. It’s not just jokes and teasing, it’s talking to your fiancé about having a child and real adult things.”

Joe snorts, wiping at his face again. “I’m not used to those,” he mutters.

“I know,” Gwil says. He smiles. “Come on,” he says, “wherever you want to eat, whatever you want, my treat.”

“Really?” Joe asks.

Gwil nods. “I think you need it,” he says, and Joe laughs.

“Yeah, I think I do, too,” he mutters, and follows Gwil outside.

“Babe?” Joe calls as he walks into the flat, toeing off his shoes.

Rami ducks his head out of the kitchen, smiling at him. “Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Joe says, walking over to him, giving him a kiss. “Good day?” he asks.

Rami nods, walking back into the kitchen. “Yes, lovely,” he says. “You?”

“Yeah, it was great,” Joe murmurs, wondering if Gwil told him that he’d been to visit Joe or not. “You making me supper?” he asks.

Rami nods. “I’m trying to make a pie,” he says.

“Ooh, damn, fancy,” Joe says. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be delicious.”

Rami smiles. “I hope so,” he says. “I know I’m not as good a chef as you or Gwil, but I thought I’d try.”

“You’re amazing,” Joe says. “At anything and everything.”

Rami smiles at him. “Well…thank you,” he says. “I don’t quite think that’s true, but I appreciate it.”

Joe nods. “Uh, you know, if you know any old Malek family recipes, I’d love to try them. I love Egyptian food.”

“Oh, uh, alright,” Rami says. “I still remember a few. I— my mum always helped when I made that sort of thing, but I can try. For you.”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Joe says. He thinks for a moment. “Uh, babe, why— why haven’t we ever gone to Egypt?” he asks.

Rami snorts. “Uh, I don’t know,” he says. “It’s— well, I don’t know anyone there anymore,” he says. “Why, do you want to go?”

Joe shrugs. “I like pyramids,” he says, realizing a moment too late that that's probably not a great thing to say. There's more to Egypt than the pyramids.

Rami smiles. “Sure,” he says. “We can go to Egypt sometime.” He shakes his head a bit, going back to the oven.

“We can take our kid,” Joe says. “Show them where they’re from.”

Rami nods absentmindedly, walking back over to the refrigerator. “If you’d like.”

“Because, I mean,” Joe says, “we should do more than just take them to New York, you know. Being Egyptian, that’s— that’s a huge part of who you are. That’s— we should embrace that! More. Uh, do you want to?”

Rami glances over at him. “Uh, sorry?” he asks. “Want to…embrace being Egyptian?” he asks. Joe nods eagerly. “I thought I already did,” he says.

“Oh,” Joe says softly. “Yeah, no, of course. I just mean like, well, it’s really important to me, when we have our kid, that they know they’re Egyptian and they know all the different sorts of things like…food and culture and uh, language.”

“You want me to speak Arabic to our child?” Rami asks.

“Yeah, why not?” Joe asks.

Rami frowns a little. “I…don’t think people will like that very much, Joe.”

“Who?” Joe asks. “Who cares what other people think? Not me. I— come on. I’ll teach them Italian, you teach them Arabic. Our kid is going to be a genius.”

Rami blinks a couple times, and then just shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he says softly.

Joe taps his foot a couple time and then decides fuck it, he’s just going to ask. “Why do you not want to be the father?” he asks.

Rami looks at him in confusion. “What?” he asks.

“Just why,” Joe says. “I— whatever the reason is, I just want to hear it.”

“Joe,” Rami says.

“Please,” Joe says. “Let’s talk about it!”

“Talk about what?” Rami asks.

“People being racist,” Joe says. “Is that it? Because your— your neighbour spat—”

“Did Gwil tell you that?” Rami asks. “Why? I didn’t ask him to. That’s not fair, you two shouldn’t be talking about me like that when I’m not around.”

“Babe,” Joe says, “is that it?” he asks. “Like, are you scared?”

“I told why I want you to be the father,” Rami says. “That’s all.”

Joe sighs. “Rami, if you— if it’s really it’s important to you that our kid be related to me, then that’s one thing.” He swallows. “But this, if it’s because of— that…I want to look at my little baby version of you, with your hair and your eyes, and it’s going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Rami doesn’t say anything, just shifts away from him, looking down at his feet.

“Your heritage is important to you,” Joe says. “Where you come from. I mean, that’s a huge part of you. Your history, and the fact that your parents moved here and—and I don’t know. Being Egyptian is a huge part of who you are, and I want it to be part of who our kid is too. Not just…not just like we raise them that way, I want them to be Egyptian.”

“Why is this so important to you?” Rami asks softly.

“Because I love you,” Joe says. “Come on, the world doesn’t need anymore Mazzellos. John’s got kids, Mary’s got kids. The world needs more you.” Rami swallows and looks down at that. Joe takes a deep breath and then decides to go for the last resort, the thing that he doesn’t want to say because he thinks it might make Rami cry, but it’s the thing he thinks is going to change his mind. “And what about Sami?” Joe asks.

Rami looks back up. “What about him?” he asks.

“I mean, he never got the chance to have kids,” Joe says. “And you’re identical. Any kid you have is kind of like, Sami’s going to be passed along too, you know? If they look like you, then you can be happy that they look like Sami. I want that for you. I don’t want you to lose him any more than you already have.”

Rami bites down on his lip, blinking quickly to try to fight back tears.

“And babe, I—” Joe reaches out to him, taking his hand. “I want to hold a baby, our baby, and see you in it. I can’t really think of anything that’s going to make me happier.” He leans in and gives Rami a kiss on the cheek. “Because I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Rami says. He sniffles, wiping at his face. He sighs, shaking his head. “When did Gwil talk to you?” he asks.

“We went out for lunch today,” Joe says. “He’s my best friend.”

Rami has to smile at that, shaking his head. “He’s not.”

Joe nods. “He is, it’s true. He also made me cry, if that makes you feel any better.”

Rami swallows hard, sighing. “I…don’t know,” he says softly.

“Okay,” Joe says. “Okay. And I know that I might be bugging you, I know that maybe you don’t want to talk about this, but it’s— it’s out there now, right? Just— whatever you decide, I’m okay with. I just wanted to tell you how I feel about it.”

Rami nods. “Okay,” he says. “I…I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Joe says. He lets out a breath, hoping that he hasn’t hurt Rami or offended him. “Are…do you need help with supper?” he asks.

Rami shakes his head. “No, I’m fine,” he replies.

“Do you want help with supper?” Joe asks.

Rami shrugs. “Is a pie enough or should we have something else?” he asks.

Joe leans in, kissing Rami’s temple. “Let me see what we can whip up as a side,” he says.

“Okay,” Rami says softly, leaning against the counter, nervously picking at the skin around his nails. “It wasn’t always easy,” he says, and Joe looks up at him. “It— people said things.”

Joe nods. “I know,” he says.

“And people might still say things,” Rami says.

Joe nods again. “Yeah, I know.”

Rami swallows hard, shaking his head a bit. “It— is that worth it, to you? To have a child come home crying, saying that— that people at school made fun of them? Or worse?”

Joe looks down. “I don’t know,” he says. “I— don’t want to live our lives scared of that, though. It’s— it’s better now.”

“Better’s not perfect, Joe,” Rami says. “There are still arseholes, there always are.”

“I know that,” Joe says. “I— yeah, people suck. On like, a global level. And I haven’t— it’s your life. You lived it, you know what people said, and did, and you know what they’re capable of. And you know how it hurts. It’s up to you, okay? I don’t want to pressure you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Rami brings his hand up to his mouth, starting to bite down around one of his nails. “What— what about your family?” he asks.

“What about them?” Joe asks.

Rami shrugs. “Wh— wouldn’t they be upset?” he asks.

Joe slowly smiles, shaking his head. “Not even a little,” he says. “No way. They’re all think you’re as pretty as I do.”

“Stop it,” Rami murmurs.

“Okay,” Joe says. He sighs. “Okay. I’m— I’m done. Let’s just get supper ready, okay?”

Rami nods, watching Joe walk to the refrigerator. They’re quiet for a few minutes, Rami checking on the pies and going out to feed Augie, Joe peeling vegetables. Rami comes back in and watches Joe for a moment. “Will you still love it?” he asks.

“Love what?” Joe asks, glancing over at him.

“Can you love a baby you’re not…what I mean is, will you love it the same?” Rami asks.

“Are you serious?” Joe asks. “That’s how little you think of me?”

“I don’t know,” Rami says. “I— I’m worried. I know how much being a father means to you, and I would hate to be the one to take that from you.”

“Babe, I am going to be a father,” Joe says. “And you are too. You're not taking anything away from me, it’s going to be our kid.”

“I know that,” Rami says. “I was just worried that you didn’t know that.” He swallows hard. “There are ceremonies, you know, for Egyptian children.”

“Yeah?” Joe asks. Rami nods. “Like what?”

“You’d probably think they’re odd,” Rami says.

Joe shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so,” he says. “I’m sure I’d think they’re awesome.”

Rami bites down on his lip. “I’m not saying yes,” he says.

“Okay,” Joe says.

“But I’m not saying no,” Rami says.

Joe nods. “Okay, sounds good.”

“I just need time to think about it,” Rami continues.

“However much time you need, babe,” Joe says.

“Really?” Rami asks.

Joe smiles over at him. “Babe, I’m not going anywhere. Not until you tell me to leave.” Rami smiles. “But I will remind you, I will fight you for custody of Augie. And we’ve already put down deposits for the wedding. But, you know, up to you.”

Rami rolls his eyes. “You’re terrible,” he says.

“I’ve been called worse,” Joe says.

Rami sighs, biting down on his lip. “So have I,” he says softly, and Joe immediately turns, pulling Rami into his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” Joe says, tightening his hold on him. “God, Rami, I—”

“It’s not your fault,” Rami says.

Joe shakes his head. “I don’t care,” he says. “I— I wish I could change it. I wish I could take it all back somehow and fix it. You don’t deserve it. Any of it.”

Rami sighs, burying his face in Joe’s neck, closing his eyes. “Being here with you makes it easier,” he says. “Makes me forget sometimes.”

Joe smiles faintly, rubbing Rami’s back. “I love you so much,” he says softly. He reaches up, gently playing with Rami’s curls. “I can’t wait to marry you,” he says, and Rami nods. “I’m gonna marry you so hard.”

“What does that mean?” Rami asks, pulling back a bit.

Joe shrugs. “I don’t know, Mister Malek-Mazzello, you tell me.”

Rami smiles at that. “That— is that going to be our name?” he asks. Joe nods. “It’s a lot.”

Joe shrugs. “Yeah, who cares. I’m a lot.” He bites down on his lip, thinking for a moment. “We— if you don’t like it, I…I don’t mind, you know.”

“Mind what?” Rami asks.

Joe shrugs. “I— I think I’d be okay with…Malek.”

“Oh, Joe,” Rami says, “no, that’s— your father. You— no, Mazzello is important. To you, and to me, your family, I can’t ask you to change that.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asks. “Because I will. For you.”

Rami shakes his head. “No, Malek-Mazzello. It’s…odd, but I like it.”

Joe chuckles softly. “Okay. Odd but you like it. That’s me, baby!”

Rami laughs at that. “It is, yes. Absolutely.”

“And I’m sorry Gwil told me about all that,” Joe says. “Please don’t be angry with him. I…the other night, at the pub, when I lied to you, that’s what we were talking about. I asked if they— if you had told them something, about maybe not wanting kids with me. I’m sorry.”

Rami nods. “I forgive you,” he says. “I just— I never wanted you to think that I don’t want a baby, I should have been more honest with you about it. It just sounded foolish. And honestly, I thought you’d be easier to convince.” Joe grins at that. “You’re tenacious.”

“Nothing ever sounds dumb coming out of your mouth,” Joe says, “I promise you that.”

Rami nods and then walks over to the oven, checking on the pies. “I was thinking about names, though,” he says casually, and Joe dramatically turns around.

“You were?” Joe asks. “Babe, spill, come on.”

Rami smiles and shrugs. “It’s not that big a deal. I just— it just made me realize there are so many people we have to honour. It’s going to be hard to pick.” His eyes widen, and then he looks at Joe. “Erm, sorry, no, of course,” he says. “You would want Joseph Francis Mazzello IV, wouldn’t you?”

Joe smiles, shaking his head. “Uh, no,” he says. “No way, babe. I mean, I like my name, but…no. That’s all me, there’s no you in that name. That’s, I am perfectly happy being the last one in that line.”

“Really?” Rami asks. “You’re sure?”

Joe nods. “Trust me, I— no, we’ll come up with something better than that. We’ve got time. We still don’t know how this baby is coming into existence so I think the names can wait.”

Rami smiles. “Alright,” he says softly.

“Besides, we’re going to name it Gwilym Benjamin and that’s that,” Joe says, and Rami laughs loudly.

“No, we’re not,” Rami says, shaking his head.

“Benjamin Gwilym?” Joe asks, cocking his head to the side.

Rami shakes his head again. “No.”

“Hmm,” Joe thinks for a moment. “Well, I don’t know what it’s gonna be then, I’m all out of ideas. I literally only know those two people.”

“Yes, maybe we’d do well to get out more,” Rami says.

“Ugh, gross!” Joe says. “I don’t need more friends. I am a grown man, three friends is plenty, thanks. Ugh.” He shakes his head.

They finish making supper, sitting down to eat as Augie plays around their feet before wandering off to eat the rest of his supper as well. They settle on the sofa together, not talking anymore about the baby. Or about much of anything, really. Every time Joe looks at Rami, he looks deep in thought.

They get ready for bed, and Joe climbs in alongside Rami, rolling on his side to look at him. “Rami?” he asks.

“Hmm?” Rami murmurs.

Joe sighs a bit. “I…will always love you.”

“I know,” Rami says, shifting on the mattress. “I’ll always love you, too. Why did you say that?”

Joe shrugs. “I don’t know. I just felt like…maybe you need to hear it sometimes.”

Rami smiles, pulling Joe in, giving him a kiss. “I think you need to hear it, too,” he says. “How handsome I think you are.”

“Not this again,” Joe murmurs.

“Always this again,” Rami says. “I love you, and you’re beautiful.” He looks at Joe. “I think you’re the most beautiful person on the planet,” he says.

“Oh, so there was someone more beautiful than me on Luyten?” Joe asks. “Was it Gwil? It was Gwil, wasn’t it.”

“Joe, stop it,” Rami says, “I’m trying to be serious.”

“Okay, sorry,” Joe says, nodding. “Gwil said I would need to have an adult conversation without jokes.”

Rami nods. "You do. I…we’re going to have a baby. Not right now, but someday, and…and well, what I’m trying to say is that…I want a baby that looks like you.”

“Oh,” Joe says. “Okay,” he nods. “If that’s— if that’s what you want.”

“It is,” Rami says, smiling. “So…I know it would be a big favour to ask, and it’s alright if she says no, but I was thinking, maybe it’d be alright if…we ask Mary?”

Joe’s eyes widen. “You— wait, what?” he asks.

Rami laughs softly. “Well, you said it yourself, you two do look quite a lot alike,” he says. “And really, we’re not having children together, so that might be as close as we can get. Then it could be…Malek-Mazzello, really.” He looks at Joe. “Is that stupid? It’s stupid, isn’t it.”

Joe shakes his head. “No! No, not at all. I— uh. No. We should ask her. I mean, she’s a bit older than I think…they usually are, but hey, science has come a long way. It— no, it wouldn’t hurt to ask. If that’s what you want, then we’ll ask.”

Rami smiles. “Uh, I wouldn’t— well, there’s no sex, right?” he asks.

Joe laughs loudly. “Uh yeah, no, you’re not fucking my sister. Good try, though.” He smiles at Rami. “That’s…yeah. Let’s ask my sister. And hey, if she says no, I’ve got a couple cousins, they’re a bit younger. I’ll go all the way through the Mazzello family tree for you.”

“Okay,” Rami says. “Let’s ask.”

“So,” Joe says, “that means you…you want a baby. You want to have a baby.”

Rami nods. “Of course I do,” he says.

“Yeah, but,” Joe says, “you want to have a baby.”

Rami nods again. “I— I think so, yeah.”

“What changed your mind?” Joe asks.

Rami shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says. “Just thinking…really, all the people back then who hated me, who would hate me even more if they knew I was gay. This…would really bother them.”

Joe laughs. “Okay! Petty Rami. I can deal with that.”

“And,” Rami says, “I…well, I really liked the bit you said about Sami,” he says, and Joe smiles. “It might— maybe they would remind me of him.”

“I’m sure they will,” Joe says. “Of course they will. And hey, nobody is going to say shit about my kid. I will straight up punch a child if I have do, I don’t care.”

Rami smiles. “You’re going to be a good father,” he says softly.

“Why, because I’ll punch a child?” Joe asks.

Rami shakes his head. “No,” he says, “because you’re a good person. You were a good boyfriend, and you’re a good fiancé, and you’re going to be a good husband.”

Joe smiles. “Well, thank you for giving me the chance.” He gives Rami a kiss. “I still can’t believe you said yes.”

Rami laughs, kissing Joe again. “I can’t imagine ever saying no,” he says softly, reaching down to briefly touch his engagement ring. He sighs, resting against Joe.

“Come on,” Joe says, “let’s see if Mary’s free for a chat.”

“Now?” Rami asks. "We're in bed."

Joe shrugs. “No time like the present, right?”

They sit back up, grabbing Joe's laptop, while Rami checks and double-checks the time difference, worried that they're calling too late.

"It's not too late," Joe groans, shaking his head. "She's not a nun, she's still up and partying."

“This is a bad idea,” Rami says, and Joe shakes his head.

“It’s not,” he says. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She says no,” Rami says.

Joe shrugs. “Meh, I’ve heard it from her before, she thinks she’s hot shit because she’s the o— hey, Mary!”

“Hi!” Mary says, smiling at the two of them. “What’s up?” she asks.

“You got a sec?” Joe asks.

“Sure,” Mary says, and then she briefly closes her eyes when she hears shrieking from somewhere else in the house.

“Are we sure we want one of these?” Joe asks quietly, leaning in towards Rami.

Rami smiles and nods. “Yes,” he says.

“Okay, just checking,” Joe says.

A couple weeks later, Ben and Gwil let themselves into Joe and Rami’s flat, calling out as they open the door.

“Kitchen!” Joe says.

“Dining room,” Rami says, sticking his head out into the hallway. “Hi,” he says, smiling.

“Hello,” Gwil says. After taking off their shoes, Ben and Gwil walk into the dining room, looking down at the spread of food on the table.

“What’s all this?” Ben asks. “Special occasion?”

“Sit, sit,” Joe says, crossing the hallway, patting Ben on the back a couple of times.

Gwil and Ben take their seats, and then after grabbing drinks, Rami and Joe sit down with them.

“So what is happening?” Ben asks, looking around.

“Can’t we just have our friends over for dinner?” Joe asks.

“No,” Ben says, shaking his head.

“Ugh, fine,” Joe says. “Rami?” he asks. “You want to do the honours?”

“What’s happening?” Gwil asks, leaning forward. “Is— what’s going on?”

“Just wait, Gwil, geez,” Joe says.

Rami smiles and takes out his phone, going to his photos, then handing it over to Ben and Gwil.

“Who’s this?” Ben asks.

“Oh, she’s pretty,” Gwil says.

“Hey!” Ben says, and Gwil looks up at him, smiling.

“Her name is Poppy,” Rami says, “she’s friends with my niece, Adriana, they went to uni together.”

“Oh,” Ben says, nodding.

Joe and Rami glance at each other, and then Rami continues. “She’s…going to carry our baby.”

“What?” Gwil asks loudly.

“Bloody hell, you’re pregnant?” Ben asks.

Rami and Joe both laugh. “No, no,” Rami says, “not yet. Not— not yet. Not for awhile yet.”

“She’s going to be the mum?” Gwil asks, and when Joe shakes his head, Gwil frowns. “No?” he asks.

“No,” Joe says. “She’s going to carry the baby, though.”

“So who’s the mum?” Ben asks. “Or…biologically, anyway.”

“Well, we asked Mary,” Joe says. “But then we realized that if it was going to be her, either our baby would have to be born in New York, and we’d be stuck there waiting for a passport to bring them back, or basically my entire family would have to come to England while Mary waited to deliver.”

“That’s true,” Gwil says. “So…”

Joe smiles. “So, she’s…gonna donate her eggs instead.”

“Holy shit,” Ben says. “That’s— really?”

Joe nods. “Yeah,” he says. “Uh, she’s…well, biologically, her womb is like, ancient or something, I don’t know—”

“Joe!” Rami says, hitting his arm.

Joe laughs. “But she went to the doctors and they…think it might work. The magic of science, I guess. They ran tests, and she’s— she’s good.”

“And Poppy was a surrogate for another girl she knew,” Rami says. “So, Adriana thought we might ask.”

“What— I—” Ben just shakes his head. “Bloody hell, I feel like I’ve missed a— you’re having a baby.”

“Not yet,” Joe says. “We’re going to start trying in…about a year, about. So that way the baby won’t be born until after Rami’s done school and after the wedding.”

“Wow,” Ben says, smiling.

Gwil drums his fingers on the table a couple times, looking back and forth between them. “So, it’s yours then,” he says, looking at Rami. “Joe’s not having a baby with his sister.”

Rami smiles, and shakes his head. “No, he’s not.”

“God, you are,” Ben says. “It’s— you and Joe are going to have a baby. That’s— that’s related to both of you.”

Rami nods. “We are, yeah.”

“Wow,” Ben says. “That’s…that’s gonna be a beautiful baby.”

“Thank you,” Rami says.

“I’m hoping Rami’s hair, Rami’s eyes, Rami’s face,” Joe says.

Rami rolls his eyes. “I’m hoping Joe stops saying things like that. But…yes,” he says. “I…hope they look like Sami.”

“Oh,” Gwil says softly, glancing at Ben. “That’s— that’s lovely, Rami.” Rami nods. “Well,” Gwil says, “this is cause for celebration. I— I feel like we need gifts!”

“There’s no reason for gifts yet,” Rami says. “Not yet. We just— we wanted to tell you. Even as early as it is.”

“Of course,” Gwil says, nodding. “Thank you. I— I can’t believe it.”

“Also,” Joe says, “we need a favour.”

“What now?” Ben asks. “I’m not carrying a baby for you, so let’s get that out of the way.”

“Can you watch Augie for us?” Joe asks.

“Where are you going?” Ben asks, frowning.

“I want to go see my family again,” Joe says. “One last time before Rami starts school. So, we’ll be gone a little over a week, if that’s okay? We leave in a couple days.”

Ben nods, then glances over at Gwil. “Your flat or mine?” he asks.

“I say we just move in here!” Gwil says. “Much more room.”

“Perfect,” Ben says, smiling.

“Do not under any circumstances have sex in my bed,” Joe says.

Ben shrugs, picking up his drink. “Can’t make any promises.”

“You can and you will,” Joe says, “right now.”

“Hmm, nope,” Ben says, taking a drink.

“Gwil?” Joe asks. “Control him.”

“I would, but,” Gwil shakes his head, “I can’t. He’s his own man.”

“Rami,” Joe whines, bouncing his foot, “they’re gonna have sex in our bed.”

Rami shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says. “It might be fair, after what we did on Ben’s sofa.”

“I will burn this flat down if I find out you had sex in my bed,” Joe says. “Know that.”

Ben shrugs. “That sounds like a you problem,” he says. “Gwil and I will still have our flats. Where will you live? Two men, a cat, and a baby.”

“I’ll move back in with you,” Joe says. “One bedroom flat, three men, a cat, and a baby. Sounds fun.”

Ben smirks. “We’ll see,” he says. “Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. You’ll never know. That’s the fun of it.”

“Oh my god,” Joe says, “evil.”

“We won’t,” Gwil says, and Ben hits his arm.

“Gwil!” he exclaims.

“Oh, right,” Gwil says, “or maybe we will,” he says dramatically.

Rami snorts, shaking his head. “Can we please just eat first, before we kill each other and burn our flat down?”

“To the baby,” Gwil says, lifting his drink, and the other three follow. He cocks his head to the side a bit. “Any ideas for names?” he asks.

“Malek-Mazzello,” Joe says, smiling at Rami. “That’s all we’ve got so far.”

Gwil smiles at the two of them. “I think that’s perfect.”