Archive of Our Own ^beta

“I don’t know if I got it,” Joe announces as they walk out of the cinema into the night.

Ben glances over at him and snorts, trying not to laugh.

“What?” Joe asks, reaching out to take Rami’s hand as they walk past the casino in the square. “It doesn’t make sense. Babe, did you get it?”

Rami shrugs, squeezing Joe’s hand. “I…think so. Yes. Yes, I got it.”

“Which part did you struggle with, Joe?” Gwil asks, looking over at him as he slings his arm over Ben’s shoulders, tugging him in.

“Just,” Joe sighs, gesturing wildly with his free hand, “it doesn’t make sense. Time travel never makes sense in movies. It can’t make sense.” He looks over at Rami and Gwil, and then makes a face. “I mean, uh, going back in time. Not…you know.”

“Did you like it?” Rami asks Gwil and Ben, swinging his and Joe’s hands together between them.

Ben shrugs. “Yeah, it was alright, wasn’t it? I liked it.” He looks up at Gwil. “It was your choice, what’d you think?”

Gwil nods. “I liked it,” he agrees. “Joe, I apologize if you didn’t like it. You can pick next.”

“There’s a shark movie coming out this weekend that I want to see,” Joe says eagerly.

“Ugh, no,” Ben says. “Let’s not.”

“Oh come on,” Joe whines, “Gwil just said I can pick. Ben, don’t do this to me.”

“Are you scared of sharks?” Rami asks, looking over at Ben.

Ben rolls his eyes a bit, snuggling closer to Gwil. “No, not scared,” he says softly, and the other three chuckle.

“Oh, let your boyfriend take care of you,” Joe says. “Gwil, cover his eyes for him.” He opens his mouth to say something else and then slowly smiles, looking over at them. “I’m not gonna say what I was gonna say, but just know, it was funny.”

Ben and Gwil look at each other, and then back at Joe. “It was a sex thing,” Gwil says, and Ben nods in agreement.

“Definitely,” he says.

“Yeah, obviously,” Joe says, and Rami laughs. “Have we tried that restaurant yet?” he asks, pointing at a noodle bar as they cross the street.

“Not that one yet, no,” Rami says.

“I’m hungry,” Joe says, rubbing his stomach.

Rami smiles, and rolls his eyes. “Joe, we just ate,” he says. “You had the largest popcorn they sell.”

“That barely counts,” Joe says.

“What about all the sweets you had?” Ben asks.

Joe scoffs. “Merely an appetizer.”

Rami laughs. “Joe, if you want supper at,” he glances down at his watch, “almost ten o’clock on a Sunday, you are more than welcome to, but I’m not taking care of you when you get a stomachache.”

“Uh-oh,” Ben says, “Rami’s making threats.”

“It’s serious then,” Gwil says.

The four of them turn onto Joe and Rami’s street, heading towards their flat, and Joe glances back at the restaurant, pouting. “Okay, fine,” he agrees, “I don’t need supper right now.” He sighs, then groans. “How is it fair that I have to go to work tomorrow?” he asks.

“Well, you have a job,” Rami says.

“Don’t give me that!” Joe says, and Ben and Gwil both laugh. “Why am I the only one with a job? I don’t want to get up tomorrow. I want to sleep in and snuggle with my baby,” he says, wrapping his arms around Rami, picking him up a bit, making Rami shriek with laughter.

“Put me down!” Rami protests, and Joe laughs. “Joe, people can see us!”

“Ugh, fine,” Joe says, putting Rami back on his feet, making sure he’s steady before letting him go. “I’m just saying, do you know how hard it is to go to work when you three get to stay home and do whatever you want?”

“That’s not why I quit,” Ben murmurs.

“I know, love,” Gwil says softly, kissing Ben on the temple.

“I’m just saying,” Joe says, “try to not have too much fun without me. Can we at least do something awesome this weekend then?” he asks. “Damn, when's the next holiday here? I should retire. How’s it working out for you, Gwil?”

Gwil smiles. “It’s lovely, Joe.”

“I goddamn knew it,” Joe mutters. He sighs as they come to their flat. He raises an eyebrow as Ben steps up to the door. “Excuse me?” he asks, holding his hand up.

“Uh,” Ben glances over at Gwil, then back at Joe. “Yes?” he asks.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Joe asks.

Rami takes out his keys, eyes narrowed a bit in confusion as he looks at Joe and Ben.

“I…nothing,” Ben says. “I thought I’d come up.”

“Oh, did you now?” Joe asks.

“Joe,” Rami says.

“It’s invite only,” Joe says, leaning towards Ben.

“And I’m not invited?” Ben asks. “Your best mate?”

“Nope,” Joe says. Then he playfully kicks at Ben once, then twice. “Get, get gone.”

“Are you kicking me?” Ben asks, taking a couple steps back.

“Go home,” Joe says, kicking at him again.

“Joe!” Rami exclaims from the doorway. “Don’t be rude.”

Ben looks up at Gwil, shaking his head in disbelief. “You see the way he treats me?” he asks. He smiles slowly. “You’d invite me up, wouldn’t you?” he asks, reaching up to rest his hand on Gwil’s chest.

“Flirting will get you nowhere, Ben,” Joe says.

“I’m not flirting,” Ben says.

“You are sort of,” Gwil says. “And, well, I would, but…if Joe says no. And he is my landlord.”

“Oh my god,” Ben mutters, shaking his head. “I see, the three flatmates are ganging up on me. That’s how it’s going to be now? You’re siding with him?” he asks, glancing at Joe.

Gwil smiles. “Terrible, isn’t it.”

“It is,” Ben says, narrowing his eyes at Joe. “But fine! That’s fine. I’ll go home. Alone.” He steps back from the three of them. “To my bed,” he says pointedly, looking at Gwil.

Gwil’s eyes widen a little bit and Rami grins as Joe snorts with laughter. “I, uh, sure! You can come up,” Gwil says quickly.

“I don’t think so,” Ben says, shaking his head, taking another step back. “Your landlord and all, he doesn’t seem to like me very much.” He sighs, thinking. “Maybe you should get a new one."

Gwil smiles. “I know,” he says, “I know. And I’m working on that.”

“What?” Rami asks, quickly looking at him. “No, you’re not.”

“Well, I will be,” Gwil says. “Soon. Very soon.”

“Oh,” Rami says softly, looking down.

Gwil frowns a bit, then turns back to Ben. “Are you sure you can get home?” he asks. “Don’t…need anyone?”

“I’m sure I’ll manage!” Ben says. “Alone. Just fine. Since clearly I’m not wanted.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Gwil murmurs.

Ben smiles and then steps towards him, leaning up to kiss him goodnight. “I’ll talk to you later,” he says softly.

“Goodnight,” Gwil says, smiling against Ben’s mouth, kissing him again. He kisses him once more, reaching up to cup Ben’s face, and then Joe reaches up to tug Gwil away from him, making Gwil laugh loudly in shock.

“Goodnight!” Joe says.

Ben sighs, shaking his head. “Goodnight.”

“Let me know when you’re home safe,” Gwil says, waving at him as he follows Rami and Joe into the building.

Ben smiles and nods, watching the door close behind them before he turns, starting to walk back to his flat.

Gwil follows Rami and Joe up the stairs, thinking. He knows that he needs to find his own flat; he’s been putting it off long enough. He stayed with the two of them in crew quarters, and has been living with them off-and-on, except for the nights he stays with Ben or Nelly, for over two months now. Rami insists that Gwil is welcome to stay there for as long as possible, and Gwil thinks Rami would be content to have him live there forever. He’s a little less sure about Joe. Not that Joe has ever said anything, has never suggested that Gwil pick up the pace in finding a flat, or pushed him to start looking. But still, he can’t imagine that Joe is happy about Gwil still being there.

“You’re absolutely terrible,” Rami murmurs to Joe as he lets them into the flat, smiling over at him.

“I know,” Joe says. “But he had it coming. He quit and left me alone.”

“He doesn’t have it coming, Joe,” Rami says. “He’s so kind.”

Joe snorts dramatically. “Ben? Ugh, he’s the worst.”

Rami smiles, rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe he’s your mate. Couldn’t he find someone better than you?” he asks.

“Better than me?” Joe echoes. “Doesn’t exist.”

Gwil snorts, trying not to laugh as he takes off his shoes, leaving them by the door. “Well, chaps,” he says, shrugging off his jacket, “I think I’ll be off.”

“Goodnight,” Joe says, waving at Gwil as he kicks off his trainers.

“Wait,” Rami says, following after Gwil. “Gwil,” he says, walking along with him. “You’re not really planning on finding a flat, are you?” he asks.

Gwil smiles. “Of course I am,” he says. “Rami, I can’t live with you forever.”

“Well, you can,” Rami says. “A little longer at least, won’t you?” They start walking up the stairs together, Rami staying close to Gwil’s side.

“Rami,” Gwil says, speaking softly, “are you scared to live alone with Joe?”

“What?” Rami asks. “No, of course not.”

“Then what is it?” Gwil asks. They come to the top of the staircase, hovering outside the door to the spare bedroom.

“I don’t want— I just want you to stay,” Rami says. “With me. That’s all. Why— what’s the point in you living somewhere else if you’re just going to be here all the time?”

“I know,” Gwil says. “But I don’t know how far away you think I’m going to go.” He gives Rami a comforting smile. “I promised, remember?”

Rami frowns, but doesn’t push it any further. “Are you going to bed?” he asks instead.

Gwil nods. “I think so,” he says. “I might be up reading for a bit,” he says. “If you need me.”

“Alright,” Rami says. He leans up, pulling Gwil into a hug. “Goodnight, Gwil,” he says.

“Goodnight,” Gwil says. He turns and heads into the bathroom, seeing Rami head back downstairs towards Joe before he shuts the door. He brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed, heading into the spare bedroom, getting undressed. He climbs into bed, reaching over to grab his phone when it lights up. He smiles, seeing Ben’s name.

Safely home, only thing hurt are my feelings

Gwil shifts on the mattress, sitting up a bit against his pillows. He smiles, biting down on his lip as he types out a reply. If you came back I could make you feel better. He grins, imagining the look on Ben’s face when he reads that. He can see him typing for a moment, and then:

Are you flirting with me, Mr Lee??

Gwil chuckles softly. Maybe I am, is that alright?

If you are, then maybe you should have been on my side tonight instead of Joe’s.

Gwil laughs again, rolling his eyes. Can’t upset the man who pays my rent.

Maybe it would have been fun to try to be quiet. But guess we’ll never know.

Gwil bites down on his lip, trying not to grin so hard his face hurts. Maybe I should start looking for my own flat in the morning.

yeah, maybe you should.

Gwil chuckles. So is that it for tonight? He doesn’t really expect anything else; Joe’s explained the concept of phone sex and sexy messages to him, but he doesn’t think Ben’s the type.

Unless you plan on sneaking past Mum and Dad, I think so.

Alright, Gwil types out, goodnight. I love you.

I love you too.

Then,

What ever am I going to do all alone in this big bed??

Gwil smiles at that. Well, that’s more than he thought he was going to get. For Ben, that’s pretty risqué. He sighs, settling back into the bed. He lies there, staring up at the ceiling, and can’t even help his thoughts drifting to Ben in bed. He’s sure he’s bundled up under a pile of blankets against the January chill, and is no doubt wearing a t-shirt, but still. Gwil sighs and shifts, wondering if he should address the ache that’s started between his legs. He bites down on his lip, glancing towards the bedroom door. He’s not under any illusion that Rami and Joe aren’t having sex when he’s around, but still, he feels sort guilty knowing that it’s not his flat, it’s not his bed. At some point, this is going to be a nursery, he shouldn’t be doing that sort of thing in here. He sets his phone back down on the nightstand, rolling onto his side. He yawns, blinking a couple times, shifting his pillows. He closes his eyes, trying to get settled, hoping to fall asleep.

After a minute or two, his eyes shoot back open. He sighs, then reaches down, past the waistband of his boxers. When he bites down on his lip to stifle the groan in his throat, the idea that Rami or Joe might hear him makes him flush with shame. He doesn’t stop, but the thought that he needs to get his own flat crosses his mind again.

Gwil walks downstairs in the morning, yawning as he goes. He's dressed in a jumper and trousers; he has no plans to go anywhere, but getting dressed helps him feel better on days when maybe he doesn't feel that well. He checks his watch; he knows it’s late enough that Joe has already left for work, and their bedroom door was open when he walked by so he knows that Rami is also up. He’s not in the living room, so he keeps walking, heading into the dining room, where Rami is sat with a cup of tea, Augie on his lap. “Good morning,” he says softly, reaching out to playfully ruffle Rami’s hair, already a mess of curls.

“Good morning,” Rami says cheerfully, looking up at him. “Do you want a cup of tea?” he asks.

Gwil shakes his head, stretching his arms above his head. “No, I might make a coffee later,” he says. He smiles, looking over at Augie. “How is Augie?” he asks.

Rami grins, petting his head, leaning down to kiss Augie’s nose when he looks up at him. “He’s lovely.”

“Good,” Gwil says. He reaches out, gently stroking his fingers over Augie’s head. “What a good boy.”

“Don’t tell Joe I let him sit at the table,” Rami says, and Gwil looks up, laughing softly.

“Never,” Gwil says, winking at him.

Rami smiles. “Alright.” He sighs, picking up his tea, taking a sip. “What are you doing today?” he asks.

Gwil shrugs. “Not sure, really. I thought I’d, I don’t know, start looking for a place to live.”

“Oh,” Rami says softly.

“Unless you have something you wanted to do?” Gwil asks.

“Yes!” Rami says eagerly, nodding. “Uh, yes. I do.” Gwil nods, looking at Rami expectantly, and Rami’s eyes dart around, trying to think of something. “Uh, we could get brunch,” he says.

“Sure, lovely,” Gwil says.

“Okay!” Rami says, setting Augie down, pushing his chair back. “I’m going to go get changed then.”

“Alright,” Gwil says, watching Rami hurry out of the kitchen. He sighs, then looks down at Augie, who’s clawing at the chair leg. “What do you think?” he asks softly. Augie, unfortunately, does not reply. “Okay,” Gwil says. “How are you?” he asks softly. He leans down, petting Augie. “Are you alright?” he asks.

Augie looks up at him and meows, then bumps his nose against Gwil’s hand.

Gwil chuckles, then picks Augie up, holding him to his chest. “Un gath fach yn y fasged, yn cysgu’n drwm, yn cysgu’n drwm,” he starts to sing softly. “Un gath fach yn y fasged, yn gynnes gyda Mam.” He hums softly to himself, then starts on the second verse. His Welsh is more than a bit rusty, he never really even spoke it as a child, but he remembers this. He’s still singing softly, petting Augie, looking down at him, when Rami comes back downstairs.

“What’s that?” Rami asks.

Gwil looks up, smiling over at him. “One little cat in the basket, sleeping heavily, sleeping heavily.”

“That’s sweet,” Rami says. He reaches out to pet Augie. “Do you want to come on a walk, Augie?” he asks.

Gwil laughs. “I won’t tell Joe about letting Augie sit at the table, but I think I’d have to mention it if you took him to brunch."

“He’ll be so lonely without me,” Rami says.

“He’ll be fine,” Gwil says. He stands up and then carefully sets Augie down on the floor, where he immediately rolls onto his back and stretches out. “Where did you want to go?” he asks.

Rami leads Gwil to a restaurant Gwil’s never heard of, saying that he’d read about it online and that it’s apparently the best brunch in London. Gwil’s not entirely sure it’s as good as all that, but he enjoys it well enough.

When they walk back outside, zipping up their jackets, looking around, Rami asks, “What— what are you going to do now?”

Gwil shrugs. “Don’t know. Do you want to back to the flat?”

Rami immediately shakes his head. “No,” he says, reaching out to grab Gwil’s hand, leading him back to the tube. “Let’s uh, let’s go see Joe.”

Which is how they end up at the IIS in meal hall with Joe, watching him eat his lunch.

“So what’s the occasion?” Joe asks, taking a bite of his pizza.

Rami shrugs, and smiles over at him. “I just know you didn’t want to go to work today, and Gwil and I weren’t doing anything else, so I thought we’d come. That’s alright, isn’t it?”

Joe swallows hard, nodding. “Yeah, of course, babe. Gwil. How’s life? Since I saw you, last night?”

Gwil shrugs. “Fine, I think.”

“You and Ben got any plans today?” Joe asks, reaching out to grab his bottle of water.

“I don’t think so, no,” Gwil says. “We haven’t talked yet. But I—”

“We should have him over though, right?” Rami says. “For supper?”

Gwil looks over at him, and nods. “Yes, yes, of course,” he says. “That is, if Joe will let him in this time.”

Joe grins. “It was a joke. I mean, Ben’s welcome to come over whenever. But I could see the look in his eye.”

“What look?” Rami asks.

“The look,” Joe says, winking at Rami.

“Oh,” Rami says.

“And I don’t trust this guy,” Joe says, jerking his head towards Gwil. “You know, Gwil, when you’re looking at apartments, make sure you think about how many rooms there are.”

“Why?” Gwil asks.

“Because you’re going to have to christen them,” Joe says, “all of them. More rooms, more fun!”

Gwil blushes a bit and Rami coughs loudly. “We don’t need to talk about that,” Rami says, shaking his head.

Joe smiles. “I’m just teasing, babe. Well, I mean, I’m not, you know, that’s why we got such a big apartment, but—”

“Joe,” Rami says sharply, and Joe drops the smile.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Joe says softly, picking up pizza.

Rami looks at Gwil, then at Joe, reaching out to him. “No, I’m sorry,” he says, “that’s not what I meant,” he says, “I just— oh, I’m sorry. I— I didn’t mean it like that.” He sighs, and folds his hands on his lap, looking down at them.

Gwil swallows hard, suddenly feeling like he’s intruding on something, which is odd, because he can’t really even pinpoint what it is, or what Rami meant. He looks away, wondering if he should get up and leave them to speak to each other. But when he shifts and looks back at them, Joe and Rami are looking at each other, hands clasped over the table, seemingly having had an entire conversation in silence. He has to smile at that.

“What do you want for supper tonight then?” Joe asks. “Oh my god, can we order from that noodle bar?” he asks.

Rami nods. “Yes, I’d like that.”

“Yes,” Joe says softly. “Oh yes, this is going to be a good day.” He smiles happily over at Gwil. “Gwil, noodles?” he asks.

“Sure,” Gwil says, nodding. “I’ll message Ben.”

And just like that, all thoughts of starting the search for a flat slip his mind.

The four of them are sat on the floor around the coffee table, watching a film as they eat dumplings, fried rice, barbecue and, of course, noodles. Rami, Gwil, and Ben at least seem to be paying attention to their food, and trying not to make a mess, but Joe keeps his eyes on the television, and keeps regularly missing his mouth as he tries to eat.

“Joe, do you need me to pause it?” Rami asks, looking over at him.

Joe shakes his head, rice falling off his fork onto his lap. “No, I’m good, babe, thanks.”

Gwil and Ben look at each other smiling, and Ben shifts a bit, settling against Gwil’s side.

Joe glances over at them, and his eyes narrow. “Okay, no,” he says.

“Hmm?” Ben murmurs, looking over at him.

“You’ve got the look again,” Joe says.

“Oh god,” Ben mutters, shaking his head. “What’s he on about now?” he asks, looking up at Gwil.

“Ignore him,” Gwil says softly, ducking his head down to give Ben a quick kiss. “He’s been on about it all day.”

Ben rolls his eyes and leans down towards the table, carefully picking up a piece of chicken. He smiles when Gwil reaches out, resting his hand on his back, gently playing with the hair at the top of his neck.

They all keep eating and watching the film, Augie waking up from his nap and walking over to them at some point, getting pulled onto Rami’s lap. Gwil smiles as he watches Rami with Augie, and then thinks of himself and Roger with Tiger Lily. He sighs, losing his smile a bit. He shifts on the floor, and then immediately feels guilty for thinking about Roger when Ben’s sitting right there next to him. Sometimes he feels like he can’t win.

Gwil carefully pushes himself up, picking up his dishes off the table.

“Do you need me to pause it?” Rami asks, but Gwil just shakes his head.

“No, it’s alright, thank you,” Gwil says, glancing behind him as he walks towards the kitchen. He sets his dishes in the sink then turns, leaning against the counter, bringing his thumb up to start biting at the skin around his nail. Then he stops, smiling, realizing that he’s picked up one of Ben’s bad habits. He sighs, then starts drumming his fingers against the counter.

Sometimes he thinks he wants his own flat so that he can give Joe and Rami their own space. Sometimes he thinks it’s because he’s 35, and should probably be living on his own.

And sometimes he thinks it’s because it can be hard to watch Rami and Joe together, happily living a life that Gwil once had.

In Cardiff, he usually made it back to the flat first, since his schedule was a lot more flexible, and he could do things like grading and lesson plans at home. Roger would get off work and Gwil would almost always at least have supper started. They’d settle in and talk about their day and eat, and curl up on the sofa with Tiger Lily and listen to the radio, or read. He swallows hard, and looks down. He knows Ben doesn’t want him to forget about Roger, knows that Ben accepts that part of Gwil’s life, but he still doesn’t think that’s something Ben really wants to hear about: how much Gwil misses Rog, and how much he still can’t believe that he’ll never see him again.

Gwil groans softly. It’s not as if he’s not happy! God, his bloody boyfriend is sitting in there with him. He shakes his head. No, he tells himself, no. He needs his own flat because he’s an adult and he can’t be living with flatmates for the rest of his life. Joe and Rami are engaged, and they don’t need him hanging around. It’s got nothing to do with Roger or Tiger Lily or any of that.

He’ll start looking in the morning.

In the morning though, when he’s sat on the sofa, laptop open, Rami comes downstairs in his pyjamas and hurries over, sitting next to him, and closing the laptop. Gwil looks over at him in surprise, and Rami smiles.

“Uh, would you like to…see a matinee today?” Rami asks.

“A play, or a film?” Gwil asks.

Rami shrugs. “Either! We should be spending more time outside, don’t you think?” he asks.

“Outside?” Gwil echoes. “But—”

“Or, I mean, out of the flat,” Rami says. “You know. Erm, we have so much free time, we really should be making the most of it.”

“Yes, I suppose,” Gwil says slowly, lifting his laptop up, setting it on the table in front of him.

Rami watches that, and then grins at Gwil. “Good! Should we ask Ben?” he asks.

“If you’d like,” Gwil says, nodding.

“Of course,” Rami says. “He’s always welcome. I’ll speak to him.” He pushes himself up and runs back upstairs to grab his phone.

Gwil frowns a bit, watching Rami bound up the stairs, and then he glances back over at his laptop. He sighs, reaching up to scratch his fingers through his beard. That’s alright, he thinks. He can just…search later on.

Ben’s still eating his bag of popcorn as they walk into Rami’s flat.

“Can I have some?” Gwil asks, reaching out, and Ben playfully twists away.

“You shouldn’t’ve eaten all yours,” Ben says, laughing. He kicks off his trainers and then holds the bag up to Gwil. “Of course,” he says.

“Thank you,” Gwil says, grabbing a couple pieces, then giving Ben a quick kiss.

“What should we do now?” Rami asks, taking off his shoes and jacket, walking into the kitchen to get a drink.

“Be lazy and unemployed,” Ben says, walking towards the living room alongside Gwil.

“When are you meeting your counsellor?” Rami asks, following behind them with a glass of water in his hands.

Ben looks up at Gwil and shrugs. “Uh, soon,” he says softly. “Soon.”

“Yes,” Gwil says softly, reaching out to gently squeeze Ben’s hand, getting a smile from him. “We’re letting Ben enjoy a bit of a holiday first.” The three of them drop down on the sofa, Ben bringing his feet up and resting against Gwil, still eating his popcorn.

Rami turns on the television and starts going through the channels, and after a moment to get comfortable, Gwil reaches forward to grab his laptop, still on the coffee table from earlier in the day. Rami turns to watch him, biting down on his lip as he watches Gwil open his computer. “Uh, but what sorts of things would you like to do?” Rami asks suddenly.

“I’m really not sure,” Ben says quietly, and Gwil looks over at him, smiling.

“Ben’s going to be brilliant at anything,” Gwil says, “so it’s just a matter of who pays the most, right?” he asks, winking at him.

Ben smiles bashfully, and nods. “Yes, of course,” he says. “That’s it, that’s all I care about. Have to be able to afford my lavish lifestyle.” He pops a couple more pieces of popcorn in his mouth.

Gwil chuckles softly and turns back to his laptop, and Rami shifts quickly.

“Uh, what about school?” Rami asks. “Would you go back to uni?”

Ben shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says, “if I had to. I liked uni.” He thinks for a moment. “Well, the learning part of it, anyway,” he says softly.

“Gwil,” Rami says, “let’s search for Ben. Can I see your laptop?” he asks, reaching out his hands.

“Uh, sure,” Gwil says, letting Rami pick his computer up.

“Oh, no, please,” Ben says, “I don’t— it’s fine. Let’s just watch something on the tele.”

“Oh,” Rami says, “alright then.” He closes Gwil’s laptop and reaches out to put it back on the coffee table, instead of handing it back over to Gwil. “Can I get either of you anything to drink?” he asks.

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” Gwil says. “I’m going to go put on something a bit more comfortable.” He pushes himself up off the sofa, and Rami looks over at Ben.

“No, thank you,” Ben replies. He smiles over at him, then frowns a bit. “You alright?” he asks.

“Hmm? Oh yes,” Rami nods. “Lovely.”

“Okay,” Ben says softly. “I— I’m sorry about— I just don’t want to spend my time today on thinking about work.”

“No!” Rami says quickly. “No, it’s not that at all. Don’t apologize. That’s…” He briefly glances over at Gwil’s laptop, and shakes his head. “No, don’t ever feel bad for that, Ben.”

Ben frowns a bit more and then pushes himself over towards Rami. “Then what’s wrong? Because you seem a bit…off? Or something?”

Rami shakes his head. “Oh, I’m not,” he says. “I’m fine. Just…miss Joe, is all.”

Ben snorts at that. “You miss Joe?” he asks. “You— oh— uh, alright. He’ll— well, he’ll be home in a couple hours,” he says. He swallows hard and then glances up towards the stairs, where they can hear Gwil singing to himself, then looks back at Rami. “You’re a terrible liar, just so you know.”

Rami blushes a bit and looks down. “I know,” he says softly.

“Okay,” Ben says. “So do you want to tell the truth?” he asks.

Rami just shakes his head. “No, I’m fine,” he says.

“Okay,” Ben says again, briefly leaning in to give Rami a kiss on the temple. “You can always talk to me,” he says.

Rami nods. “I know,” he says. “And you can always talk to me.”

Ben grins. “Good. I plan on it. Forever and ever.” He settles against Rami’s side, sighing, offering him some popcorn.

“Thank you,” Rami says, taking a couple of pieces.

When Gwil comes back downstairs, he doesn’t comment on the fact that Ben’s moved over, he just sits down beside him, and gives them both a smile. Ben smiles back, and offers up his bag of popcorn. “Thank you, love,” Gwil says.

Ben hums softly to himself, slowly pushing the trolley towards the meat section of the grocery store. He usually doesn’t buy much, he ends up eating at Joe and Rami’s more often than not, but he has to at least pretend that he’s an adult every once in awhile.

And Gwil told him that he’d cook something for him.

“What type of meat do you want?” Ben asks, stopping in front of the display.

“What do you want to eat?” Gwil asks, looking over the selection.

Ben shrugs. “Whatever you want to make, I suppose, I’m not fussy.”

Gwil thinks for a moment, and then reaches out, grabbing a couple steaks.

“Ooh, fancy,” Ben says, looking up at him. “This is going to be quite the meal.”

Gwil smiles down at him, and then moves down a bit, grabbing a package of bacon, adding it to the other things he’s already picked up, like lettuce, potatoes, and avocados.

“What’s that for, then?” Ben asks. “Breakfast in bed?”

Gwil laughs at that. “If you’re lucky,” he says, and then he starts to walk again.

“Oh, I think I am,” Ben says. He smiles and sticks the tip of his tongue out, and Gwil grins at him. “What’s the occasion, anyway?” he asks.

“No occasion,” Gwil says. “Just…spending a lot of time with Rami and Joe, wanted to spend time with you.” He reaches out, briefly squeezing Ben’s hand where he’s holding onto the handle of the trolley.

“Oh, I suppose that’s alright,” Ben says, laughing softly. “You’re not such bad company.” He keeps slowly walking; he thinks they’ve got everything on Gwil’s list, but he’s happy to just keep following Gwil around. “What’s for dessert?” he asks.

“Is there anything you want?” Gwil asks, glancing over. Ben gives him a cheeky grin and Gwil rolls his eyes. “God, Joe’s a terrible influence on you,” he says, and Ben laughs.

“That is true,” Ben says, “but to be fair, he’s the only mate I had for years. I’m only just now learning how to behave around other people.” Gwil laughs loudly at that. “Soon enough, it’ll be you too. Just wait.”

“Hopefully not,” Gwil says. “I plan on moving out before that happens.”

“Oh, have you looked at any flats then?” Ben asks.

“Well, no,” Gwil says. “I know I meant to, but I’ve just—”

“Been busy?” Ben asks. “Retired, with all your spare time?

“Rami’s been…” Gwil trails off, thinking.

“Been what?” Ben asks.

Gwil shrugs. “Uh, nothing. He’s just been wanting to do a lot lately. Haven’t had the time.”

Ben smiles. “Well, I’d tell you we could look tonight,” he says, “but I think we’re going to be very preoccupied.”

“Oh, I like the sounds of that,” Gwil says, voice low.

“Yes, I can’t wait for supper,” Ben says, “this all looks delicious.” He winks over at Gwil and then leans up on his tiptoes to give him a kiss.

“Terrible,” Gwil groans. He kisses him again, though, smiling against his mouth.

Ben was right, they were much too busy that night for even the thought of finding a flat to cross Gwil’s mind. Not while they were eating supper, not when Ben pushed Gwil down onto the sofa and straddled him (his shyness forgotten for a few minutes), not when they showered together, and certainly not when Gwil gently pressed Ben down into the mattress, mindful of the fact that twice in one night after so many days without might be a bit too much for him, but Ben didn’t seem to mind.

In the morning, Gwil slips out of Ben’s bed and gets dressed, quiet even though he knows that Ben is dead to the world, going into the kitchen to fry up the rest of the bacon he’d bought, reheating some of the potatoes.

He slips back into Ben’s room, sitting down on the edge of his mattress, leaning down to kiss Ben’s tattoo where his arm has stretched out. “Ben,” he says softly, kissing the black ink again.

“Mm,” Ben murmurs.

“Ben,” Gwil says, and he shifts on the mattress, leaning over him.

“Yeah?” Ben breathes, but he still doesn’t open his eyes.

“It’s morning,” Gwil says, and Ben doesn’t respond. Gwil’s honestly not even sure he’s awake yet. “I’ve made you breakfast.”

“Hmm?” Ben murmurs, and his eyes flutter open, taking a second to focus on him.

Gwil smiles and leans down, giving him a kiss. “Do you want it in here?” he asks.

Ben smiles back at him. “You’re the best boyfriend,” he says softly.

Gwil chuckles softly. “I’m alright,” he says.

“Best one I’ve got,” Ben says, reaching up to sling his arm around Gwil’s shoulders.

“Better than Joe?” Gwil asks.

Ben nods. “Can you imagine, all the time we lived together, he never made me breakfast in bed?”

“I hate Joe,” Gwil says, and he leans down to give him another kiss.

Ben smiles, pulling back to yawn, stretching out underneath Gwil. “Do you want to eat it in here?” he asks.

“It’s probably a bit easier out there,” Gwil says, “but I won’t judge you either way.”

Ben laughs. “That sounds nice,” he says. He yawns and slowly pushes himself up, reaching up to rub at his face.

“Feel alright?” Gwil asks.

Ben nods, briefly resting his forehead against Gwil’s shoulder. “I’m tired,” he murmurs.

“I’m sorry,” Gwil says, “I should’ve waited a bit longer to wake you up.”

Ben looks up at him, shaking his head. “No, it’s alright,” he says, “can’t waste the day away in bed.” He yawns again, and then pushes at his blankets. “I’ll be out in a sec,” he says. Gwil nods, but doesn’t get up. Ben stands up, glancing over at Gwil. “Going to watch me get dressed?” he asks.

Gwil nods again, smiling. “It’s my favourite thing.”

Ben snorts at that. “Alright,” he says, “whatever, weirdo.” Gwil laughs at that, and watches Ben reach down to grab his shirt and boxers off the floor, tugging them on. Ben walks over to Gwil and reaches his hand out to him. Gwil takes it and stands up, walking back out into the flat with Ben. Ben smiles when he sees the breakfast out on the table, bacon and cheese omelettes with potatoes on the side, and a glass of orange juice beside it. He stops where he is, looking at the table.

“Is it alright?” Gwil asks, and Ben nods happily.

“Yeah, it’s lovely,” Ben says, and Gwil squeezes his hand.

“Come on then, before it’s too cold,” Gwil says, leading Ben to the table.

Ben sits down, taking in the meal laid out before him, and smiles. “God, if this what I can expect, maybe you should move in with me instead,” he says, reaching out for his fork.

Gwil’s mouth falls open a bit and then a second later Ben realizes what he’s said and then looks up at Gwil, eyes wide.

“Uh, oh,” Ben says, “uh.” He reaches out to grab his glass of juice, taking a couple big gulps to give himself time to think.

“Is that…” Gwil trails off. “Uh, I mean, should— do you want me to move in with you?” he asks.

Ben swallows hard, setting his glass back down. “Uh, do you want to move in with me?” he asks.

“Should we talk about it?” Gwil asks. “I mean, since I am…looking, after all.”

“Are you?” Ben asks. “I mean, you said you haven’t actually—”

“Not yet, no,” Gwil says, “but I plan on it. I just—”

Ben takes another drink of orange juice, then sighs. He drops his hands onto his lap, and then starts picking at one his nails. “I…” He looks up at Gwil, then guiltily looks down. “I don’t want to say no,” he says softly.

Gwil nods. “I know,” he says. “Neither do I.”

Ben lifts his head, smiling sadly. “It’s not that I don’t—”

“I know, me too,” Gwil says.

“It’s just that,” Ben sighs, shoulders slumping, “I…don’t know that we should.”

Gwil nods. “I know,” he says again. “I— I don’t think so either.”

“Really?” Ben asks.

Gwil nods. “Really,” he says. “I mean, I— I would love to, maybe…someday. In the future.”

“Right,” Ben breathes.

“But right now,” Gwil says. “I…I think it’s still too soon. For us. Just— I feel like we’re still getting to know each other, really.” Ben nods. “And I just…” He swallows hard. “Ben, I need to tell you something.” He doesn't want to though, but he knows they should be honest with each other.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asks.

Gwil takes a deep breath. “I…sometimes still, well, I— I think of Roger. Not when we’re together or anything like that, I just mean, I— part of me doesn’t want to find a flat because I— miss him. And then part of me wants to find a flat because I look at Rami and Joe and that makes me miss him." He frowns a bit. "I’m— I’m sorry, is all. It's not you.”

Ben shakes his head. “No, don’t apologize. I— I don’t mind, or— it doesn’t bother me." Not anymore is the part they both know is left unsaid. "I understand. You lived with him for so long, of course you’re thinking about him now. I— no, don’t apologize, I won’t hear it.” He reaches out to take Gwil’s hand. “I know it’s hard.”

Gwil swallows hard, nodding. He sniffles a bit, then sighs. “So, I— I like staying over with you,” Gwil says, and Ben smiles a bit at that. “And when I have my own flat, I’d love for you to come stay over with me.”

“I’d like that too,” Ben says, nodding. “Especially if the breakfast is this good.”

Gwil laughs at that. “I can’t always promise that,” he says.

Ben shrugs. “That’s alright,” he says. “The company is nice enough.” He smiles down at the table, then reaches up to rub at his eyes. “I just…like having my own space right now.” Gwil nods. “I don’t think I’d make a— a very good flatmate.”

“Well, I think Joe would beg to disagree,” Gwil says, and Ben chuckles, “but I know. I understand. I’m not entirely sure I make a very good one either, but…”

“I think Rami begs to disagree,” Ben says.

“True,” Gwil says. He sighs, drumming his fingers on the table. “I’m not saying never.”

“No, neither am I,” Ben says.

“Just not right now,” Gwil says.

“Right,” Ben says, nodding. “It’s still too soon.”

“Right,” Gwil says softly. He lets out a deep breath, and then picks up his juice, taking a drink.

“So then,” Ben says, picking up his fork, “uh, let’s dig in, and we can start looking, right?”

Gwil waits for a moment and then nods. “Uh, yes,” he says. “That— that sounds lovely.”

“This looks delicious,” Ben says, cutting into the omelette. As he takes a bite, he smiles and groans softly, reaching out to playfully kick Gwil’s foot under the table. “It’s good,” he says, mouth still full, and Gwil laughs.

“Yeah?” he asks, and Ben nods. “Good. It was my pleasure.”

“So,” Joe says, stretching out on the sofa, taking up the entire thing, leaving the other three to either sit by the fireplace or on the floor, “it is now my weekend, and I am the only one of us who worked all week, so I would like to be waited on. Hand and foot.”

“Oh my god,” Ben mutters. “Bugger this, I’ll be spending the weekend at my flat if this is how you’re going to behave.”

“That’s fine,” Joe says. “We can hang out at your flat instead, if you’d like.”

Ben rolls his eyes, but smiles. “That’s not what I meant,” he says.

“Well, it’s what I heard,” Joe says. “What are we doing tonight?” he asks.

“Let’s do something new,” Rami says. “Something fun!”

“Well, fun, sure,” Joe says. “But new? What’s new in London?”

“Is there, I don’t know, an art exhibit on?” Ben asks. “Like a temporary show?”

“Or we could go listen to music,” Gwil suggests. “I’m sure there’s a band at some pub, somewhere.”

“We could do the Ripper walking tour,” Rami says, and the other three all turn to look at him. “What? I think it’d be interesting.”

Joe thinks for a moment, then opens his mouth to speak. “Were the two of you al—”

“No, Joe,” Gwil says, shaking his head, “that was before even our time.”

Joe shrugs. “Alright,” he says. “Uh, I don’t know. Kind of chilly for a walking tour, isn’t it?” he asks.

“We’d dress appropriately,” Rami says. “But, no, that’s fine, it’s— it’s probably too late to buy tickets anyway.”

Joe bites down on his lip, then glances over at Gwil, and then Ben. “Uh, I mean, I’m not against it,” he says. “It might be easier to buy tickets for tomorrow, though.”

“Uh, what time would it be?” Gwil asks.

“Why, you two got a hot date tomorrow?” Joe asks. “On my weekend? You guys have all week to hook up, don’t do this to me.”

“Uh, no,” Gwil says. “It’s uh, well, no, I have an appointment tomorrow. To look at a flat.”

“You what?” Rami asks loudly.

“And I thought you two would come with us,” Gwil says. “I’d like your opinions.”

“Yeah, cool,” Joe says. “Uh, the Ripper tours are usually after dark, so I’m sure we’ll be done at your place early enough. Babe?”

“I—” Rami sighs, looking around at the other three. “No, that’s fine,” he says. “It was a stupid idea.”

Joe frowns, immediately sitting up. “Nobody said that,” he says. “I just think they might be sold out tonight, but we can check online now if you want.”

“No,” Rami says, shaking his head. “I’m fine. We can do whatever.” He sighs, running his hands over the carpet a couple times, before pushing himself up. “I’m going to have a shower,” he says. “Let’s just order takeaway and watch a film.” He heads towards the stairs, footsteps heavy as he walks up. All three of them wince a bit when they hear the door slam.

“Did I do something wrong?” Joe asks. “I— I mean, if he really wants to go learn about Jack the Ripper, we can go fucking learn about Jack the Ripper. Like, damn.”

“No, I don’t know what that was,” Ben says, shaking his head.

Gwil draws a breath, and then pushes himself up. “I think I do,” he says. “I’m going to see if I can catch him before he hops in.” He hurries up the stairs, using his long legs to skip a few of them.

“What the hell is going on?” Joe asks, and Ben just shrugs.

Gwil knocks on Rami and Joe’s bedroom door, pressing his ear to it. He doesn’t think he can hear the water running from the en suite yet, but he’s not sure. “Rami?” he calls.

“I’m busy!” Rami calls back.

Gwil rolls his eyes. “Are you naked?” he asks.

“Hey!” Joe hollers from downstairs.

“Uh, yes,” Rami says, and Gwil pushes open the door, holding one hand above his eyes as he walks into the room.

“Are you really?” Gwil asks.

Rami sighs. “No,” he says, and Gwil drops his hand to see Rami sitting on the bed, holding Augie on his lap.

“What’s going on?” Gwil asks. “And, just know, before you try lying, which you are terrible at, I think I’ve already guessed it.”

Rami shrugs, looking down at Augie, scratching his head. “There’s nothing wrong,” he says, and Gwil sighs, walking into the room, closing the door behind him.

“So why are you upset then?” Gwil asks.

Rami shakes his head. “I’m not. You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” Gwil asks, sitting down beside Rami.

“Yes,” Rami says, and he reaches up to rub at his face. He swallows hard, then turns to Gwil. “Gwil, you don’t have to go,” he says quickly. “Joe and I want you here, it’s alright. We love you.”

“I know,” Gwil says. “And I love you, too. That’s not it at all, Rami.”

“So stay then,” Rami says. “Why would you need to leave?”

Gwil sighs. He can’t really say that he wants to move out because he wants to have Ben over so they can be as loud as they want. He doesn’t want to say that he wants Rami and Joe to be able to be as loud as they want. That’s part of it, sure, but he wants Rami and Joe to finally just have their own space. Together. Rami went from living with Gwil to living in crew quarters to living with Joe with Gwil hanging around. Rami and Joe are engaged, and they deserve to be on their own. But he can tell that Rami thinks that means Gwil wants to leave him. Again.

“Because,” Gwil starts, shifting on the mattress, “you’re engaged. This is your flat. Your home. I’m— I’m just a guest.”

“You’re my—”

“I know,” Gwil says. “You’re mine too. But…I can’t live with you and Joe forever. It’s…time, I think.” He smiles, reaching out to pet Augie softly. “Besides, I’ve stolen your son’s room.” He chuckles softly, looking up at Rami. “Augie’s and— your future baby’s.”

“Oh, we’re not—” Rami scoffs, shaking his head. “That’s years away,” he says. “And Augie doesn’t mind. Augie loves his Uncle Gwil!”

“Rami,” Gwil says. “Are you— I don’t know, worried? That I’m going to leave you?”

“No, not really,” Rami says. “I just…” He frowns, blinking a couple times. “It’s not like that,” he says softly.

“Then what’s it like?” Gwil asks, reaching out to take Rami’s hand. “You can tell me.”

Rami bites down on his lip. “I can’t,” he says quietly, barely audible.

“Why not?” Gwil asks.

Rami just shakes his head. “It’s…hard.” He sighs, kissing Augie on the top of the head. Gwil doesn’t say anything, he just watches Rami, waiting for him to continue. Rami takes a deep breath, and then sniffles, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. Gwil swallows hard, watching Rami, trying not to let his eyes fill with tears as well. “It’s just,” Rami’s voice breaks a bit and he sighs, sniffling again. “We lived together,” he says.

Gwil smiles, nodding. “We did. We were flatmates.”

Rami shakes his head. “B— before that. On the Mercury.” He briefly squeezes his eyes shut, trying to to keep tears from spilling over. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not,” Gwil says, shaking his head. “Not at all.”

Rami takes a deep shaky breath, kissing Augie again. “Sometimes, it’s…” He blows out another breath. “The Mercury, we— Sami and Roger were still alive. And— sometimes I— we were happy. And sometimes I just…like to pretend that it’s still— that we’re on the Mercury. That we’re— that they’re still alive, and it’s still 1939 and—” His tears spill over and he shakes his head. “That’s not fair, though.”

Gwil sniffles, wiping at his face. “Not fair to who?” he asks.

“Joe,” Rami says. “And Ben.” He sniffles, wiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. “It’s not that I don’t love them,” he says, “but it’s— hard sometimes.”

“I know,” Gwil says, nodding. He wraps his arm around Rami’s shoulder, pulling him in. “It’s always going to be hard.” Rami nods. “I— I’m so sorry, Rami.”

Gwil holds Rami in his arms for minutes on end, until Rami’s cries stop, and he finally pulls back, sniffling, reaching up to wipe at his face. “Thank you,” Rami says.

“Of course,” Gwil says.

Rami tries to give Gwil a weak smile, but it doesn’t work, and he just sniffles again. “I— of course I want you to have your own flat, Gwil. You deserve it. I just…I’m worried that if— when you leave, I…I don’t know what that will be like.” He clears his throat. “Terribly selfish,” he says to himself.

“Not at all,” Gwil says. “I— you’re the least selfish person I know.” He sighs, reaching out take Rami’s hand. “What can I do?” he asks.

Rami just shakes his head, laughing sadly. “Not a thing,” he says. “It’s— it’s foolish of me to think that you’ll just live with me forever, so that I can— can pretend that everything’s alright.”

“Everything is alright,” Gwil says. “It’s just…different now.”

Rami smiles. “I thought that was my job,” he says, “telling you that everything’s fine.”

Gwil smiles back. “I have to do something,” he says. “Can’t let you be the only one trying to help.”

Rami sniffles, then clears his throat gently. “I just—” he sighs. “I wanted to help.”

“With what?” Gwil asks.

“Finding you a flat,” Rami says. “I— where’s this one you’ve found? How far away is it?” he asks.

“Uh,” Gwil clears his throat, “about twenty minutes. Walking.”

Rami’s eyes widen. “Twenty minutes?” he echoes. “That’s— Gwil!”

Gwil chuckles softly. “You say it like it’s in Ireland,” he says. “I— it’s just twenty minutes.”

Rami frowns a bit, petting Augie. “I— that’s so far.”

“Where do you want me?” Gwil asks.

“Well, across the hall,” Rami says, and Gwil grins. “But if not, I don’t know, around the block?”

“I’d feel bad cancelling,” Gwil says. “I’ve already made the appointment. Will you come?”

“What if I don’t like it?” Rami asks.

“Uh, well,” Gwil says, “what if I do?”

Rami shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says.

“Let’s at least look at it,” Gwil says. “Please?”

“Do you have photos?” Rami asks.

Gwil smiles and takes his phone out of his pocket, handing it over to Rami, who unlocks it with Gwil’s passcode.

Rami goes to the photos and starts scrolling through. “Is it furnished like this?” he asks.

Gwil nods. “Yes, it is,” he says.

Rami sighs. “I like the living room,” he murmurs, “high ceilings. But not much of a kitchen.” Then he tsks. “The bedroom is so small!”

“Rami,” Gwil says, chuckling softly. “Are you being fair?”

“It just doesn’t look very big,” Rami says, looking at the picture of the floorplan.

“I live alone,” Gwil says.

Rami lifts his head. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yes,” Gwil says. “Ben and I talked about it.”

“Really?” Rami asks. “And— and you don’t want to?” he asks.

Gwil shakes his head. “Not right now. Not yet.”

Rami sighs, then hands the phone back over to Gwil. He runs his finger gently over Augie’s nose, smiling when he meows at him. “What do you think about your uncles, Augie?” he asks softly.

“He doesn’t think anything,” Gwil says.

“Augie is very smart for his age,” Rami says, “I’m sure he thinks all sorts of things. How much he’d like a cousin. And how much he’d like to visit them, and his uncles. At the same time.”

“Oh my god,” Gwil mutters, taking a deep breath.

Rami laughs loudly. “I’m only teasing, Gwil.”

“I’m not entirely sure you are,” Gwil says.

Rami’s eyes seem to sparkle when he smiles and shrugs. “I don’t know, am I?” he asks.

“Joe’s a terrible influence on you,” Gwil says, “I’d like you to know that.”

“I don’t know,” Rami says. “I think he’s made me more fun.”

Gwil smiles and rolls his eyes. “That’s one word for it, I suppose.” He sighs. “So you’ll come tomorrow?” he asks.

Rami shrugs. “If you’d like.”

“I would, very much,” Gwil says.

“Fine,” Rami says. “Since you asked so nicely. Just— just don’t keep it from me anymore,” he says. “Please?”

Gwil nods. “You’re right, you’re right. I should have told you about it as soon as I made the appointment. I’m sorry.”

Rami nods. “If we go, Joe and I…can we do the Ripper walking tour?”

Gwil laughs loudly at that. “Yes, absolutely,” he says. “Tonight or tomorrow?” he asks.

“I’d like to go tonight,” Rami says, “if we can find one.”

Gwil sighs, then pushes himself up. “Alright, come on, let’s go check.”

Rami smiles up at him, then takes Gwil’s hand, pulling himself up. “Alright!” he says happily. They walk out of the bedroom, and as they head down the stairs, Rami calls out, “Joe! We’re going to learn about Jack the Ripper tonight!”

Joe looks over wildly at Ben, who starts to laugh. “What the fuck?” he asks.

Ben just shakes his head. “I don’t know,” he says, “but I’m going to have to borrow a jumper or two so I don’t freeze my arse off.”

“Joe, will you help me find tickets that are still on sale?” Rami asks.

Joe sighs, then smiles up at him. “Of course, babe, my pleasure.”

Rami smiles back. “Good! Also, we have to go look at Gwil’s flat tomorrow, if that’s alright.”

Joe just nods. “Uh, yeah,” he says, “sounds good.” His eyes narrow a bit, and he looks over at Ben. “Is it Ben’s flat?” he asks.

“No,” Ben says, “it’s his own.”

“Good,” Joe says, “that was a test. You guys should not be living together, no offence, but no.”

“Joe, please,” Rami says, glancing down at his watch, “the tours might be sold out soon.”

“Well, what are you doing?” Joe asks. “You know how to buy things online, I’ve seen you do it.”

“Yes, and I’m going to check one website, but I need you to check another,” Rami says. “Just in case. Please?”

Joe sighs. “Fine! Fine. Yes, of course,” he says, taking out his phone. “This better be the best walking tour of my life. Also, this apartment better be amazing. And please— if you two exchanged some sort of sexual favour up there to come to this deal, don’t tell me, ignorance is bliss.” He sighs. “Dragging my ass to Whitechapel on a Friday night, my weekend—” He cuts himself off, then looks back up. “Shark movie. Tomorrow. After the apartment.”

Ben groans a bit at that, making a face.

“Ben, whatever Rami and Gwil did upstairs, we can do it too, I promise,” Joe says. “But I need to see this movie.”

Ben rolls his eyes, sighing. “Fine,” he murmurs.

“Ooh, so you do want to have sex with me,” Joe says. “Duly noted.” He looks at his screen for a bit, typing, then drops his phone on his lap. “Four tickets, 7:00, done.” He looks at his watch.

“Thank you,” Rami says.

“You’re welcome,” Joe says, “but I’m starving, so can we please fit supper in before we go?”

“Yes,” Rami says. “Let’s all get dressed and then we can go.” Rami and Joe push themselves up and head upstairs, and Ben just looks over at Gwil.

“What happened?” he asks, and Gwil shrugs.

“He doesn’t want me to move,” Gwil says. “Had to promise him Jack the Ripper so that he’d come tomorrow.”

Ben nods. “Did you suck him off?” he asks, and Gwil grins.

“Yeah, that too,” Gwil nods.

“Nice and quick,” Ben murmurs. He looks outside, then shivers a bit. “This flat better be amazing.”

“I think if it’s anything less than, Rami’s going to forbid me from taking it, so I hope so too,” Gwil says. Ben just smiles.

“So,” Rami says, not looking up from his phone as the four of them walk to meet the estate agent, “I just want you to know that there is a flat available just down the street from Joe and I.”

Joe and Ben look at each other, grinning.

“Oh god,” Gwil mutters. “Rami, I don’t need to be on the same street.”

“You haven’t even let me tell you about it yet,” Rami says.

“Yeah, Gwil,” Ben says, “you haven’t even let him tell you about it yet.”

“Not you too,” Gwil says, and Ben laughs, reaching out to take Gwil’s hand as Rami reads off his phone.

“It’s one bedroom,” Rami says, walking alongside Joe. “It says ‘the flat located on the second floor benefits from a large open plan living room with a bespoke modern kitchen, a sizeable bedroom boasting fitted wardrobes and a modern bathroom. The apartment has been well maintained and boasts plenty of natural light.’” He looks over at Gwil. “Doesn’t that sound lovely?”

“I think the one we’re going to see will be lovely,” Gwil says.

“Oh, it has a lovely kitchen, Gwil,” Rami continues. "And I like the flooring. Hmm.” He stops walking.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asks.

“It only has a shower,” Rami says. “No bath.”

Gwil starts to laugh. “Okay, good. It’s off the list. Let’s go to look at this one then, yeah?”

“There’s another near us, and oh, it’s above a Subway!”

“Brilliant,” Gwil murmurs.

Ben smiles up at him, squeezing Gwil’s hand. “Let him be,” he says softly, “he wants to help.”

“I know,” Gwil says. But Rami's helping isn't really helping.

“This one is a two bedroom,” Rami says, looking over at Gwil pointedly.

“Okay, nope,” Gwil says, reaching out to take Rami’s phone from him.

“No!” Rami exclaims, turning to protect his phone. “Gwil, I’m just trying to help.”

Gwil sighs. “Fine, fine. Tell me about this one.”

“Oh, it’s got a lovely bath,” Rami says, mostly to himself. “I don’t really care for the layout, though. It doesn’t have very many windows,” he says, “oh, but it has a private terrace. Oh, I quite like that. We could sit outside.” He gasps softly. “There’s a door to it from the kitchen and the bedroom. You could go outside as soon as you wake up!”

“Brilliant,” Gwil says, just a hint of sarcasm, “is there a bath?”

“Be nice,” Joe says.

“There is!” Rami says. “But it’s not furnished. You’d have to buy so much.” He thinks for a moment, smiling. “I’d get to help you buy so much!” He stops walking, then gasps again.

“Oh god,” Gwil says. “What now?”

“That one’s lovely and all,” Rami says, “but right across the street from it there’s a penthouse.”

“I’m certain I don’t need a penthouse,” Gwil says.

Rami quickly scans over the description of the flat. “Oh gosh, Gwil, we have to look at it. Listen to this: ‘featuring one of the largest open plan living kitchen areas on the market which offers enough space to relax, dine and entertain and a kitchen which has been fitted with all the latest modern appliances.’” He raises his eyebrows, looking over at Gwil. “Well?”

Gwil shrugs. “It…sounds alright, sure.”

“And a large private terrace!” Rami says. He starts walking again. “Floor to ceiling glass doors!” he exclaims. He goes through the photos, and his mouth drops open. “Look at this bathroom!” he says, handing his phone to Joe.

“Holy shit,” Joe says. “That’s too fancy for me,” he says, “I wouldn’t be allowed in.” He hands Rami’s phone over to Gwil, and Gwil’s eyes widen a bit.

Gwil starts going through the other photos of the flat. “I— I certainly wouldn’t need all this,” he says. “I— I just need a room, really.”

Rami looks at Gwil, and rolls his eyes. “You’ve got a room already,” he says. “At my flat.”

Ben grins. “He’s got you there, mate.”

“Well, yes,” Gwil says, “that’s not— I just meant, I— what have I got? Some clothes? A few books? What do I need all this space for?” he asks.

“To live,” Rami says. “You— you buy things. Have a home. That sort of thing.”

Ben takes Rami’s phone from Gwil, looking at the photos. “It’s above a McDonald’s,” he says, smiling. “Joe, I’m surprised you didn’t scoop this one up.”

“Dang, maybe I will take it,” Joe says, taking Rami’s phone back. “I could use a spare apartment for all my various lovers.”

“Are we there yet?” Rami asks. “Gwil, you know this is too far.”

“Rami, please,” Gwil says. “This is— it’s important to me.”

“Why?” Rami asks.

Gwil sighs. “Well, think about it. The IIS assigned my flat in Cologne. Ben found our flat in Perth. Before that, we lived on a spaceship for a year. Our old flats in Perth, the IIS assigned us. And our old flats in London. I haven’t had to look for a flat since Rog and I lived together in Cardiff, and that was ages ago.” He shrugs. “I— I picked this one. That’s all.”

“Oh,” Rami says. He swallows hard. “Right. That— that makes sense. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Gwil says. “I just— can we just at least look at it. Just to see. If I don’t like it, if we all hate it, I’ll look at your penthouse. Swear.”

“Okay,” Rami says, nodding.

Joe smiles and leans in, kissing Rami’s cheek. “I know it’s hard, babe,” he says softly. “But it’s okay.”

Ben squeezes Gwil’s hand, and then after a couple more minutes, Gwil comes to a stop. “This is it,” he says, looking up.

Ben looks around. “Forget the penthouse, this neighbourhood’s a bit posh, I’m not sure Joe’s classy enough for—”

“Hey!” Joe says, and Ben grins at him.

Gwil walks up to the door and then hits the buzzer, like the estate agent told him to. The door unlocks and he leads them in, walking up a flight of stairs. “It’s this one,” he says, glancing back at them, and then knocks.

The door opens, and a smiling open greets them. “Hi!” she says happily. “You must be Gwilym Lee, yes?”

Gwil nods, extending his hand to her. “Just Gwil is fine,” he says, and the four of them walk in. He follows after her, letting her show him around and explain the features of the flat to him, while Ben, Rami, and Joe slowly make their way around on their own. After a few minutes, her phone rings, and she excuses herself into the hallway, and Gwil walks up behind Ben, who’s looking out the living room windows out onto the street below. He rests his hand on Ben’s lower back, and Ben turns, looking up at him. “What do you think?” Gwil asks softly, leaning down a bit.

Ben smiles. “I like it,” he says, nodding.

“Really?” Gwil asks. Ben nods again. “It’s not too far away?” he asks.

Ben laughs at that. “It’s a twenty minute walk, if that,” he says. “I’ll be alright.” He glances back towards the bedroom, where he can hear Rami and Joe speaking. “I think Rami’s still a bit upset, though.”

“I know,” Gwil says. “And trust me, I— I feel terribly guilty about it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to pick a flat just because he likes it, but if he’s angry with me for picking this one, I’d— I don’t know.”

“I think if you tell him how much you like it, he’ll come around,” Ben says. “This place is nice, it suits you. What do you think?” he asks.

Gwil nods. He looks up at the high ceilings, not ever really having realized how much he liked the idea of them. It’s not a big flat (Rami and Joe’s is about three times bigger, though it’s certainly big enough for just him) but just the ceilings make it feel less cramped than anywhere else he’s ever lived. “I like it,” he says softly.

“Yeah?” Ben asks.

Gwil looks back down at him, nodding. “I— I think so, yes.”

“If you don’t, it’s alright to keep looking,” Ben says. “You know Rami won’t evict you anytime soon.”

Gwil chuckles softly. “No, it’s— I like it, I do.” He looks out the window. “Besides, we spend all our time at their flat anyway.”

Ben laughs, slipping his hand into Gwil’s. “Still, you don’t have to decide right now,” Ben says, breaking Gwil from his thoughts. “You can take the day, or tomorrow? I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

“Right,” Gwil says, clearing his throat. He turns, and Rami and Joe come walking out of the bedroom, holding hands.

“Though, if they were shagging in there, you might need to take it now,” Ben murmurs, and Gwil grins.

“What do you think?” he asks, stepping towards them. “And be honest,” he says, “I want you to like it.”

Rami and Joe glance at each other, and Joe gives him an encouraging nod. “I like it,” Rami says finally, and Gwil smiles.

“Me too,” Joe says. “It’s nice. Great neighbourhood. Good size. Tall ceilings for your giant ass.”

Gwil chuckles softly.

“I think if you like it, you should take it,” Rami says, nodding. “I’d like that for you.”

“Really?” Gwil asks. “What about your penthouse?”

Rami shrugs. “You— you don’t need all that,” he says. “Though it is lovely. It’s…a lot.”

Gwil nods. “And you’re alright if I don’t live on the same street as you?” he asks.

Rami sighs, nodding. “Yes,” he says. “Joe and I talked about it. It— it’s fine. You spend all your time at our flat anyway. And you are still welcome to! Any night you want to sleep over, or if it’s too late, or too cold, the— the bed is still yours.”

Gwil smiles. “Thank you.”

“Though the bed in there is only a queen,” Rami says, “and you need a king.”

Gwil glances at Ben, then back at Rami and Joe. “So did you shag in there?” he asks.

“I told you, Gwil,” Joe says, “you gotta christen every room.”

“Not of my flat,” Gwil says, and Rami shakes his head.

“No, we most certainly did not,” he says, playfully pushing at Joe. “We would never.”

“Oh, so you’ll shag in every room of my flat but not Gwil’s,” Ben says. “I see how it is.”

“That’s a good point,” Joe says. “Maybe we should—”

The door to the flat opens, and the estate agent walks back in, smiling at them.

Gwil glances back at Ben, who gives him a gentle push towards her, and an encouraging nod. Gwil takes a deep breath, smiling back at her.

Joe and Ben unpack the groceries they just bought, filling Gwil’s fridge. Rami and Gwil are in his bedroom, unpacking his clothes and his few items. Even after almost a year back, Gwil still hasn’t amassed nearly as many things as Rami has. With the flat already furnished, there really isn’t much for Gwil to put out.

After finishing with the groceries, Joe and Ben take what little art Gwil does have, and find places to hang it in the living room. Ben adjusts the curtains, and looks out the window, smiling at the neighbourhood.

“You like it here?” Joe asks, and Ben nods.

“Yeah, it’s lovely,” he says. “I think it suits him.”

Joe nods. “You gonna move in with him?” he asks, and Ben laughs.

“Wasn’t it you who just told us that we shouldn’t live together?” Ben asks.

“Yeah, but no one listens to me,” Joe says. “So I was just wondering.”

Ben shakes his head. “Not right now,” he says. “This is his flat.”

“Okay,” Joe says. “But are you gonna spend the night tonight?” he asks, and Ben playfully pushes him away. “What about tomorrow?” Joe asks, and Ben laughs.

“Stop it,” he says.

“Stop what?” Gwil asks as he and Rami walk back out into the flat.

“Nothing,” Ben says, “Joe’s being an arse.”

“Guilty,” Joe says. “Now!” He rubs his hands together. “Normally, my policy is to not cook on days where I have also done shit like this, but since you cooked for us, I will cook for you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Gwil says. “Takeaway is fine.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asks. “I’m offering. And I’m good! I can whip something up.”

“No, no,” Gwil says. “I promise. This is all been enough. Let’s just order in, yeah? Try something from the new neighbourhood?”

“Okay,” Joe says. He smiles, then glances at Ben, then at Rami.

“What?” Gwil asks.

“Presents, duh,” Joe says.

Ben smiles, walking over to the door where he’d left his bag, picking it up.

“I don’t need gifts,” Gwil says.

“Dude, like, how were you raised?” Joe asks, sitting down on the sofa, followed by Rami. “You don’t want food, you don’t want presents, like, learn to accept it, man.”

Ben sits on the ottoman in front of the sofa, and then opens his bag, taking out two presents, handing one to Joe and the other to Rami.

“Sit, sit!” Rami says, patting the spot on the sofa next to him.

Gwil groans and sighs, but listens anyway. “Alright,” he says. “I really hope it’s nothing much, we just had Christmas.”

Joe hands his present over to Gwil. “Don’t worry,” he says.

Gwil pats the package a couple times, frowning, and then unwraps it. It’s a large dark blue quilt, embroidered with constellations. He smiles as he unfolds it, holding it up. “Thank you, Joe,” he says, “it’s lovely.”

Joe smiles at him. “Good,” he says. “Now give it here, I’m cold.”

Gwil laughs loudly and hands the quilt over to Joe, who wraps himself up in it.

“Here,” Rami says, handing a smaller package over to him. “It’s not much because I know you wouldn’t take much.”

Gwil smiles gratefully at him, and then unwraps the box, looking it over.

“It’s so you can grow your own herbs,” Rami says. “Inside, without soil. I don’t know, thought that would be nice.”

“Yes!” Gwil says, looking up at him. “Thank you, I love it. Absolutely.”

Rami smiles at him, and then watches as Ben reaches into his bag, handing the smallest package over to Gwil.

“More Smarties?” Gwil asks.

Ben smiles. “No, but I can run out to the shop and get you some if you’d like.”

“Joking, love, I’m sure this is lovely,” Gwil says, unwrapping the package. Clear coasters, with bright pressed flowers in them. He holds them up to the light, looking at each of them, smiling. “These are beautiful,” he says.

“Yeah?” Ben asks, and Gwil nods. “Alright,” he says, smiling. “I— thought you might like them.”

“I love them,” Gwil says, leaning forward to give Ben a kiss.

“Should we have dessert now?” Joe asks.

“Dessert?” Gwil asks, pulling back.

“Yeah,” Joe nods. “You know, dessert first. That’s a thing. We could eat it while we’re waiting for whatever we order.”

“Joe just wants to show you the cake he picked out,” Ben murmurs.

“Cake?” Gwil asks. “I— when did you get a cake?” he asks.

Joe shrugs. “Snuck it in. Magic. Wanna see?”

“Joe, you’ll ruin the surprise,” Rami says. “Let’s eat supper first, yeah?”

“Okay,” Joe says. He smiles at Gwil. “It’s pretty though.”

Gwil smiles back. “Can’t wait.”

“What is there to eat around here that doesn’t cost thousands of pounds?” Ben asks, taking out his phone. “Oh, there’s a pub just down the street.”

“We could call them and run down to pick it up,” Joe says.

Gwil and Rami look at each other, and Gwil nods. “That sounds perfect to me,” he says.

They order more food than the four of them need for one night, because everything on the menu sounds delicious. Mushroom wings, and steak and kidney puddings, and bacon mac and cheese, and nachos, and a halloumi platter. Joe and Ben happily offer to run down the street to pick it up, leaving Gwil and Rami alone in the flat.

“Do you think you’ll like it here?” Rami asks, wrapping himself up in the constellation blanket, and Gwil nods, looking around.

“I think so,” he says. “I know it’s not very big, but— I don’t know. Yes. I like it already.”

“Yes?” Rami asks. “Alright.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t go for the penthouse,” Gwil says, and Rami shakes his head.

“No, that’s—” he sighs. “I didn’t really want you to live there. I just wanted…I just wanted to help. I didn’t realize how much picking your own place meant to you.”

Gwil smiles. “If it’s any consolation, now that I’ve got it out of my system, you can pick the next one.”

Rami grins at that. “Not Ben?” he asks.

Gwil thinks for a moment. “Alright, well, you and Ben,” he says.

Rami chuckles. “I think someday you two will live together and it will be lovely,” he says.

Gwil nods, then sighs. “I just miss him,” he says after a moment.

“I know,” Rami says. “I miss living with Sami. But Joe knows that.”

Gwil nods. “And I— I’ve talked to Ben.”

Rami smiles. “Really? You two talked?”

“Oh, shut up,” Gwil murmurs, but he’s smiling as he says it.

“I think I’ve died and gone to food heaven,” Joe murmurs, rubbing his stomach. He groans and shifts, resting his forehead against Rami’s shoulder. “The world hates me.”

“Did you take your pill before all this?” Rami asks.

“Yes, Mom,” Joe says.

“Is that your kink?” Ben asks, taking a sip of beer, and Gwil snorts.

“No, we play naughty student and sexy professor,” Joe says. “I wear Gwil’s glasses while we do it.”

“Oh god,” Ben mutters.

“Don’t say that,” Rami says, “that’s not true. That’s not true,” he says, looking at Gwil.

“Should I trust them?” Gwil asks, and Ben shakes his head.

“About as far as you can throw them,” he says.

Joe pushes himself up, and picks up his plate, walking over to the sink. He yawns loudly, and then gets down four plates, and grabs a knife and four clean forks. “It’s dessert time!” he announces.

“How are you not stuffed?” Ben asks.

Joe shrugs. “Dessert stomach.”

“He also has a snack stomach,” Rami says.

“Gwil, close your eyes,” Joe says, walking to the refrigerator.

“Must I?” Gwil asks.

“Yes, you must,” Joe replies, mocking an English accent.

“For him,” Ben says, “let him have this.”

“Alright,” Gwil says, closing his eyes. “But it’s not my birthday, we didn’t need anything like this,” he says.

Rami picks up the other empty dishes and walks over to the sink, setting them down. “Do you need help?” he asks.

“Yeah, take those over, please," Joe says, and Rami picks up the cutlery and the plates, walking them back to the table.

Joe carefully plates the cake, and then walks it over to the table, setting in down in front of Gwil. He sits down, and then smiles. “Alright, big guy,” he says. “Welcome home.”

Gwil opens his eyes, and immediately smiles. The cake is covered with a light pink buttercream, and the top is decorated with a ring of fresh berries and bright edible flowers.

“Do you like it?” Rami asks, and Gwil nods.

“Yes, it’s beautiful,” Gwil says.

“What sorts of flowers are they?” Ben asks, shifting in his seat.

“Those are pansies,” Gwil says, pointing to yellow and purple petals. “That’s a nasturtium. Violet.” He smiles. “And primrose,” he says, picking up off the cake, handing it to Ben.

“Oh god,” Joe mutters.

“What’s primrose mean?” Ben asks, looking down at the flower.

Gwil smiles, looking over at Rami and Joe, and then back at Ben. “I’m not sure I should say.”

“Oh, come on,” Joe says. “Is it sex? There’s a sex flower?”

Gwil laughs, shaking his head. “Eternal love,” he says softly, and Ben blushes. “Here, Joe,” he says, picking up another flower off the cake. “This is for you. Hibiscus.”

“What’s that mean?” Joe asks. “Disgust?”

“Rare and delicate beauty,” Gwil says, and Joe smiles immediately.

“Well, that’s for you then, babe,” he says, handing it over to Rami, and Rami smiles.

“Thank you,” Rami says softly, twirling the flower in his fingers.

“Well, should we dig in?” Joe asks, picking up the knife.

“Yes, let’s,” Rami says, holding the flower tightly to his chest.

Ben hovers back awkwardly, watching Rami and Joe get dressed in their jackets and boots.

“Are you sure you’re alright to walk?” Gwil asks.

Joe nods. “Google Maps says it’ll take the same amount of time to walk as it will to catch the bus, I’m not worried.”

“You could call a taxi, though,” Gwil says.

“You want one, babe?” Joe asks, glancing at him.

Rami shrugs. “I’m alright,” he says. “It’s not far.”

“Oh, it’s not?” Gwil asks teasingly, and Rami smiles.

“No, it’s not,” he says, playfully hitting at Gwil’s arm. Rami leans up, giving him a hug. “Have a lovely night,” he says.

“I already have,” Gwil murmurs. “Text me when you’re home safely,” he says, and Rami nods as he pulls back.

“I will,” he says. He looks over, waving at Ben. “Goodnight,” he says.

“Bye,” Ben says, waving back. “Bye, Joe.”

“Peace!” Joe says, throwing open the door.

“Thank you for everything,” Gwil says, and Joe and Rami both smile and nod at him.

“See you tomorrow?” Rami asks hopefully, and Gwil nods.

“Of course,” he says.

“Alright,” Rami says. “B— bye.”

“Bye,” Gwil says softly, and he closes the door behind them, locking it. He smiles, turning back to Ben. “Well,” he says, walking over to him.

Ben grins at him. “Well,” he says. “First night in your own flat.”

“It is,” Gwil says, nodding slowly. He sits down on the sofa, looking up at Ben.

“Should I leave you to it then?” Ben asks, gesturing towards the door, and Gwil pulls Ben down onto the sofa with him. Ben laughs loudly as Gwil pins him against the cushions.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Gwil says, leaning down to kiss him.

“Wouldn’t I?” Ben asks. “I heard a free room just opened up at Rami and Joe’s. They’ve got a cat. And a fireplace. What’ve you got?” he asks.

Gwil smirks and kisses him again, until Ben’s moaning softly beneath him. He pulls back, raising an eyebrow expectantly.

Ben bites down on his lip, pretending to think for a moment. “Yeah, that’ll do, I suppose,” he says, and he laughs loudly when Gwil quickly moves, pushing himself off Ben to start tugging at his shirt. “Right here on the sofa?” Ben asks, laughing again.

Gwil shrugs. “Joe said it’s got to be in every room,” he says seriously, nodding.

Ben smiles. “Well, then,” he says. “If Joe says it, I guess it must be true.”