Work Text:
I feel myself
Sinking down
Slowing down
Winding down
I feel myself
Sinking to
The back-
Ground
I will myself
Deeper
And darker
And farther
Away from
The ones who would
Know me
And I
Never felt so sure
That anything would happen
But this will happen
This will happen
Alright, you wanna play like this?
Sing like this?
Spew shit like this?
Alright, you wanna use my voice?
Like I have a choice
Pretending to be poignant
Go ahead step up and step in
You act like you’re my kin
But you’re a fucking has-been
You know that
Your life ain’t fucking forfeit
Don’t act like you don’t know it
Here’s the fucking lesson so start taking notes on it
Hey--
I feel myself
Breaking down
Draining now
Fading now
I feel myself
Becoming
One with it all now
I will myself
Higher
And brighter
And tighter
It fits so
Snug and I’m
Lighter
Don’t interrupt
You rude little fuck
Didn’t anyone teach you manners?
God this fucking sucks
I’m still
Caught in between
Reality and a dream
Even my rap’s gone wack
I can’t explain a thing
Just listen
Life isn’t pointless
You know this
You feel this
It’s real this isn’t
Fucking candy or meat
It’s a combination characters like me can’t see
So fucking
Take a pause with self flagellation
What you need is elation
At your prime situation
You got
Friends and lovers
Taking care of eachother
Let go of the narrative
These thoughts aren’t fucking imperative
Just--
And if I had
One last day
What would I say
What would I change
And if I had
Some more time
Would you look
And like what
You find
I feel myself
Separating
No hesitating
No complicating
I hope you
Won’t find it
Devastating
See, look at that bull shit!
That ideation
Looking at my story
For some confirmation
That you’re
Not quite right but not quite wrong
Writing the most fucked up things in your songs
I can’t
Believe I’m even saying this
But you can’t take my words as an excuse to keep playing this
It’s messed up
Overdone
You’re giving up
Pretending I would ever act like you--it’s just fucked up
Go on take a breather
Don’t be so fucking eager
To walk in my footsteps
Listen I don’t like this either
So sit back, relax
Take a load of, Jax
Strip away this dialogue and take your life back
I feel myself
Questioning
Contemplating
Reevaluating
I feel myself
Wondering why
I feel like
Life should be
Suffocating
I take a breath
Then one more
No need for gore
I don’t feel torn
I hope you will
See life’s not
Keeping score