Archive of Our Own

Hua Cheng enters his home late friday evening to the sounds of loud yelling and the tangy smell of cheap potato chips. It’s enough of a common occurrence to make him simply pause, count to thirty in his head and then make his way to the living room, with the anticipation of a headache forming in the back of his skull.

Sitting attently on his couch is Shi Qingxuan, leaving potato crumbs all over the white leather while Say Yes To The Dress is blaring from the TV. Two middle-aged women are fuming at each other, a ripped dress fallen between them as the melodramatic soundtrack enhances the tragic scene of a bride’s dream destroyed. It’s quite the work, really.

“You’re trying to steal my spotlight as the mother!” One of the women says, brandishing the cloth like a weapon, “I wanted to pay for her dress, it’s my right!”

“Yeah, you tell her!” Shi Qingxuan says and stuffs his mouth full of snacks, sipping directly from a wine bottle, eyes not leaving the TV.

“Admit it,” The other drawls, “You’re bitter because I represented her father in the divorce against you!”

Shi Qingxuan exaggeratedly gasps, “No!”

It seems like counting to thirty was not enough. This time, Hua Cheng counts to one hundred and fifty and clears his throat loudly. After at least four harrumphs, Shi Qingxuan finally notices he’s not the only one present anymore and turns to the door.

No matter how many hundreds of times Hua Cheng changes his apartment’s lock password, Shi Qingxuan always manages to wrangle the current combination out of Xie Lian, one way or another. It's, putting it mildly, infuriating, but what can he do? Not tell his boyfriend the password? That is most definitely not an option.

“Oh, Hua Cheng!” He beams and stands, waving him over, “Hi! I hope you don’t mind me crashing your place for a bit!”

“Not at all.” Hua Cheng gives him a pure, angelic smile, “Gege’s friends are my friends, after all.”

Shi Qingxuan just chuckles and taps a hand on his shoulder playfully, “You know, that phrase would be more effective if you didn’t have that utterly homicidal look on your face!”

Hua Cheng walks in front of the couch, pointedly pushing the crumbs to the floor and closes his eye, a perfect rendition of innocence while he sits (and he sits, because he knows Shi Qingxuan will not leave before he gets whatever it is he wants).

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sure. But anyway, I have something extremely important to ask! Code red level of importance and, honestly, I’m hurt that I had to hear what I did from someone else!”

Oh no. Hua Cheng freezes, smile slowly dropping. He has the feeling this is not going to be the usual celebrity scandal Qingxuan ropes him into listening every once in awhile.

“Spill already.”

“Well,” He drags the syllable in a way that fills Hua Cheng with dread, “I heard from a little fishie that you were looking at a proposal ring catalogue the other day for a certain mutual friend of ours whom you happen to be dating for five years.”

“Really?” Hua Cheng raises an eyebrow, trying to pull the situation in his favor, “You heard from a little fishie? Or did you blackmail said little fishie with food until he told you some gossip?”

Shi Qingxuan waves a hand, “Details! Don’t try to change the subject, mister!”

Hua Cheng sighs, “Shi Qingxuan…”

“No!” The other whines and shakes his arm, “I absolutely can not forgive you for this! How was I not involved in the process? Me?! Wedding connoisseur and extraordinaire!”

“And yet you and He Xuan are still dancing around each other?”

“Wow.” Qingxuan pouts, “You hit low, Hua Cheng, you bastard.”

He opens his mouth to say something along the lines of ‘is that really a surprise?’ when a crashing noise and a small curse coming from the balcony interrupts him. His headache pulses in response. Just what he needed, another pest to deal with.

“One second.” He mutters, dragging himself to the balcony.

The wide doors open to reveal a man, crouching quite obviously behind one of the plant vases, path of destruction left in the way. When it becomes clear that Hua Cheng noticed him and is, in fact, staring straight at him, the man jumps out of his hiding place and points a finger at Hua Cheng accusingly.

“Aha!” Qi Rong smirks, pointy and wide, “So this is what you’ve been planning, you sick, twisted, dog fucker!”

Hua Cheng pinches the bridge of his nose. If there’s one thing worse than Shi Qingxuan deciding to mess with his netflix’s ‘watch next’ playlist while he’s gone, is his piece of shit neighbor who just so happens to be his lovely Xie Lian’s annoying cousin, barging into his balcony to spy on him.

A small voice whispers to him that if everything goes according to plan, soon he and Xie Lian will be living together and all of these disturbances will be background noise to waking up to his Gege’s morning routine. The sweet thought is almost enough to make Hua Cheng forget the gremlin man in front of him. Almost.

“You nasty rat.” Qi Rong breathes heavily, “I better warn my shitty cousin so he can run away as soon as possible!”

Hua Cheng steps forward, letting his shadow loom over him and twirling a lock of his hair with disinterest.

“If you dare do that,” He smiles, “I’ll murder you so extensively you’ll be kicked from the cycle of reincarnation. And I’ll get away with it scot-free, because no one cares about your pathetic existence.”

“Kekeke,” Qi Rong laughs that obnoxious cackling of his, “Try me, bitch.”

He calmly raises a hand, ready to slap the other’s ear into the next dimension. Unfortunately, Qi Rong seems to realize what he attempts to do and jumps back to his own apartment, tail between his legs while screaming profanities at Hua Cheng. God, he can’t wait to move out of this wretched place.

Lucky for him, he knows with good certainty that Xie Lian has Qi Rong’s number blocked and the doorman at Xie Lian’s place already knows not to let this guy anywhere near the premises, so Hua Cheng doesn’t have to worry about something slipping out from this front.

“Hua Cheng?” Shi Qingxuan calls from inside, “Are you trying to escape the conversation?”

That front, on the other hand…

Hua Cheng steps back inside, dusting off invisible dirt from his clothes. Shi Qingxuan continues to stare at him with excited, pleading eyes.

“Fine.” Hua Cheng sighs, the hundredth since he got home, “But you have to promise on your Chanel boots to not let a single word about it reach Gege’s perfect, cute, little ears, do you understand?”

“Yes!”

“I don’t think you do.” Hua Cheng says, “This means no innuendos, no wiggling your eyebrows at the most random moments, no indirect jokes on twitter about engagements… Not the slightest peep that could be misinterpreted by Gege. Are you sure you can handle that?”

Shi Qingxuan pouts, “Hua Cheng, you’re not giving me enough credit! I promise I won’t utter a word in his direction!”

He studies the other man for a few more seconds and then sits at the couch again, pulling the infamous ring magazine from below the couch cushions.

“Oh.” Qingxuan stares, “It was right there under my butt.”

Hua Cheng shows him everything and tells in much more detail than intended what he plans to do. As the first words pour out of his mouth, something warm and soft curls inside his chest, making it difficult to stop talking. Only now that he’s sharing it with someone else did he realize just how excited he is.

From the knowing glances Shi Qingxuan throws his way, it’s definitely noticeable. By the end of it, Shi Qingxuan has tears in his eyes and he holds Hua Cheng’s hand tightly.

“I’m so happy for you both! Don’t worry, I’m sure everything will go wonderfully!”

Hua Cheng smiles and nods. His proposal will be perfect.

Everything does not go wonderfully.

Hua Cheng should have known. Those words are a curse, a harbinger of disaster and he should hold Shi Qingxuan accountable for this catastrophe on principle alone, for daring to utter that damned phrase.

To be fair, it was not all terrible from the very beginning.

He was taking his lovely boyfriend to the restaurant where they had their first date, a romantic, elegant, sophisticated restaurant on the outskirts of the city. He made a reservation weeks earlier for the table near the window that overlooks the view of the mountain side and he even bribed the cooks to prepare that obscure, kind of disgusting dessert of chocolate cake, lemon peels and spicy mustard Xie Lian found somewhere in one of his trips around the world and adores.

Dessert during which Hua Cheng will kneel beside the table, open the ring box and pop the question he’s been fantasizing about ever since he drastically fell at first sight for his Xie Lian.

Everything is going according to the plan.

They reach the restaurant, Hua Cheng pulling the chair for Xie Lian to sit like the true gentleman he is, while his boyfriend chuckles embarrassedly from behind one hand. He sits on the opposite side and breathes deeply, taking in the beauty of his love with a trembling heart.

Of course Hua Cheng does not mind anything about Xie Lian’s appearance normally. He knows his boyfriend prefers to be low-key and wear baggy clothes that engulf his figure, grandma sweaters and thrift store jackets. He looks breathtaking anyway, because he is Xie Lian and Xie Lian is the most beautiful man that exists.

That said, when Xie Lian decides to alternate his looks to something more formal, the cut of his dress shirt, the line of his suit coat, showing off the curve of his waist. The rolled up sleeves and the hidden strength of those arms… His boyfriend looks simply regal. Like a king who commands Hua Cheng’s devotion with just a motion of a finger. He is gorgeous and Hua Cheng needs to spare a few seconds solely to breathe.

“San Lang,” His boyfriend calls, looking up from the menu, “Aren’t you going to order?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Hua Cheng clears his throat and lays the napkin on his lap, “I got a little distracted by the view…”

Xie Lian swats at him, cheeks flushed. Hua Cheng had not taken his eyes from him since he sat down.

They order the main course and interlace their fingers on top of the table, Hua Cheng squeezing tightly. The waitress brings the wine he ordered in the meantime and serves two glasses full.

“So, how’s work going? We haven’t talked much since you started that new project.” Hua Cheng asks, taking just a small sip from the wine. He has to drive, after all.

Xie Lian sighs, slumping slightly on the chair, “It’s going. I’ve been having some difficulty getting the kids to trust me. They’ve been through a lot already, I just wish the process of moving them to their new families would go smoothly.”

“Tsk," He scoffs, "Those feral kids have no idea how lucky they are to have your organization helping out.”

Xie Lian raises an eyebrow at him, something shining in his eyes at those words.

“Feral…” He teases, smiling like the sun and Hua Cheng’s heart burns in turn, “I guess you could call them that. They’re just like this certain someone back when we met as teens…”

Hua Cheng hums, brushing a finger in Xie Lian’s palm deliberately, “If you say they’re like that someone, then I have no doubts your project will work out. After all, Gege can save a million people with just his smile.”

That has the desired effect. A pretty blush stains Xie Lian’s cute cheeks, even darker than before and his boyfriend curls his fingers in Hua Cheng’s hand.

“San Lang exaggerates too much.” Xie Lian says bashfully.

“Of course not.” Hua Cheng places a hand on his chest with mock offense, “For Gege, I speak only the truth.”

He’s about to smile even wider when a sudden sensation chills his spine and glues him to the chair. He knows this feeling all too well; they're being watched.

Hua Cheng casts a discreet look around the restaurant, finding all patrons immersed in their own little bubbles, nothing out of ordinary. Maybe they just got the attention of a person's daydream for a moment, maybe it's nothing serious, but Hua Cheng still keeps it in mind in case something happens.

They’re interrupted by the waitress, who puts the food on the table and their hands finally separate so they can eat. Hua Cheng waits just a few seconds before he mischievously pushes his foot against Xie Lian's ankle.

If this was early in their relationship, Xie Lian would have shied away from contact, shifting his eyes to the side embarrassed, notwithstanding his desire to reciprocate. Now, however, he meets Hua Cheng's gaze head on and smirks a stunning smile, rubbing his own foot up his leg, making sparks run up his body from that point of contact. It's a very welcome progression.

Dinner passes normally, with flirting and small talk in between and his chest begins to tighten with anxiety the closer they get to his awaited moment. He wants this to be perfect.

He is signalling the waitress to bring the dessert when he feels it again. That sensation of being watched. Hua Cheng immediately spins around and tries to find where it's coming from and Xie Lian takes his hand, leaning forward.

"San Lang, maybe I'm being silly, but I could swear we are being watched?"

Hua Cheng frowns, "Intuition is never silly, Gege."

He flags the waitress again and asks to change to one of the private tables hidden behind a partition, meant to give the patrons some peace and quiet. The feeling disappears, but that does not relieve Hua Cheng in the slightest. However, soon after that, their desserts come and his focus shifts to something much more important.

The culinary atrocity is placed in front of Xie Lian and he beams.

"Oh!" He claps quietly, "I didn't know they served this here!"

Hua Cheng inhales a deep breath in preparation for the biggest step he will ever take in his life. He pats his pocket where the box is patiently waiting for the main event.

This is it. It's time.

"Gege--"

"Stop!"

Their heads snap to the two men walking hurriedly to their table.

It's Feng Xin and Mu Qing.

Hua Cheng grinds his teeth together so hard they almost turn into dust. Just what are these idiots doing here, ruining his perfect moment?

They fix Hua Cheng with a cautious look and he smiles, murderous intent naturally pulling the corner of his mouth.

Of course. That shithead Qi Rong would not be able to reach Xie Lian, but he could still reach his bothersome childhood friends. The snitch could have been Shi Qingxuan as well, but Hua Cheng will choose to trust him this time. He is Xie Lian's best friend and despite his whimsical nature, he is anything but honest and sincere.

No, this has Qi Rong's repulsive, sweaty smell all over it.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing continue to stand awkwardly by their table, slightly panting and being an all around nuisance.

"Oh?" Xie Lian says, surprised, "I didn't know you two were dating?"

"We're not!" They yell in unison.

His boyfriend raises an eyebrow, confused, "Then why are you two in a couples’ restaurant?"

Feng Xin huffs loudly and looks away while Mu Qing looks like he swallowed an entire lemon.

"Ah, we are… dating. Yes." He amends pathetically, "It's a recent thing, we're not used to it yet."

"Congratulations." Hua Cheng says through clenched teeth, grin still in place, "You can go back to your lovely date now."

"Should I join two tables?" The waitress who came to see what all the commotion was about asks disinterested.

"No!"

"Yes!"

They glare at him and he glares at them.

"Since we're here, why don't we make this a double date? To celebrate our…" Feng Xin closes his eyes with disgust then continues, "relationship."

"That sounds great!" Xie Lian smiles.

The lady sighs, exasperated. Hua Cheng doesn’t blame her. He would have absolutely nothing against her spitting on Feng Xin and Mu Qing’s plates.

Finally everyone is sitting and back to eating their desserts again, but there is quite obviously a thick tension in the air.

"So." Xie Lian tilts his head, "How did you two get together?"

He almost snorts. His boyfriend definitely knows the other two are full of shit. How they think they can fool him is mind-boggling and also not to his interest at all. He just wants them to scram already before his patience reserves run out.

"It was recent." Mu Qing repeats in lieu of an actual answer.

"Yeah, uh, today is our first date after becoming a couple."

"We were… both in the park near my house the other day."

"Yeah, in the... park."

Xie Lian continues smiling sweetly through it all, "I also didn't know you were in the habit of visiting the park."

"That-- is also a recent development." Mu Qing states with a miserably resigned look.

He internally facepalms. This is just sad at this point. He'd pity them, if they hadn't ruined what was supposed to be the best night of his life.

"So we were in the park and we bumped into each other…" It's fairly clear to everyone that he has no idea where to go from there, so Mu Qing simply waves a hand, "I can't remember what happened exactly! There were too many emotions! The fact is, Feng Xin confessed to me very passionately and I accepted."

Feng Xin, who was until that point nodding unconvincingly, snaps his head at him with an incredulous look.

"Wait, what?! Come again?"

"Oh yes." Mu Qing gives a tiny smirk, "Feng Xin was so full of love for me. I can tolerate him enough, so I thought, 'why not?'."

The other bangs a fist on his thigh, face going from white to red interchangeably.

"You little--er I mean." He smiles maniacally, "Darling. Was it not you who fell to your knees in front of me, begging for a chance?"

Mu Qing scoffs and shoves a finger on Feng Xin's chest, "Only in your dreams would I ever get on my knees for you!"

After that, they just give up all pretense and start arguing wholeheartedly. Xie Lian shoots Hua Cheng an apologetic smile and he pinches the bridge of his nose with annoyance.

They sneak away from the table, unnoticed by the two passionate rivals bickering over who would confess best. The two definitely did not realize he and Xie Lian excusing themselves for the bill, so busy they were fucking with their eyes. It’s hard to see anything occurring around you when you’re so entangled in your own sexual Tension (with capital T. That is one hell of a tension).

He takes Xie Lian back to his apartment building, accompanying him to the door. Before going inside, Xie Lian turns, disappointment twisting his mouth.

"San Lang," He sighs, "I'm sorry for that."

"Gege should not have to apologize for others’ trash." Hua Cheng replies, cradling Xie Lian's cheek and giving him a chaste kiss, "Do not worry."

Sitting back in his car, he waves until Xie Lian goes inside and then slumps against the steering wheel. Well. The date was terrible.

It doesn't matter. Hua Cheng is anything if not prepared. The proposal might have failed today, but he has a perfectly acceptable plan B and nothing will stop him next time.

Admittedly, it was his own mistake this time around. To his credit, this date was supposed to be the one celebrating their engagement.

The next weekend, he drives Xie Lian to the next town over, where the local museum is hosting an exhibition on ancient historical weapons. There is no concern over whether Xie Lian will enjoy it. In fact, what frustrates his plans is the exact opposite; Xie Lian enjoys it too much.

His boyfriend gasps as soon as the big sign advertising the exhibition comes into view, eyes shining like a kid's in a toy shop. Hua Cheng can't help but smile softly at Xie Lian's enthusiasm.

He plans on strolling through all the pieces with him and then proposing when they reach the main object being exhibited tonight, an obsidian sword that has an extensive background Hua Cheng knows nothing of. Although he also has an interest in this kind of stuff, he would never get even close to Xie Lian's deep pool of martial arts knowledge. All he knows is that the sword shines a crimson hue in the entire room that leaves the place breathtaking. Perfect setting to hear Xie Lian’s ‘yes’.

In the midst of his musings, Hua Cheng doesn’t notice his boyfriend running ahead to examine closer a golden fan, pulling his phone out to take dozens of pictures from three different angles. He hurries along, trying to fall into the same pace as his enraptured companion.

“San Lang, this is amazing! Did you know this fan is part of a dynasty from a thousand years ago? It was used as an instrument of self-defense by an agent that served as a spy. The scratches it received during one of his attacks can still be seen along the golden structure!” Xie Lian does not takes his eyes off, hand itching to touch the glass despite the very big warning against it in the museum walls.

“It is very nice, Gege.” Hua Cheng smiles.

He inches forward, his hand ready to take Xie Lian’s in a firm grasp when his boyfriend exclaims sharply and turns, running to the next object and leaving Hua Cheng in the dust. He quickly changes his hand’s direction up to his mouth, clearing his throat behind his fist and then walks along with his boyfriend.

Xie Lian’s eyes and mouth are forming a perfect O, his breath almost fogging the clear glass over a dark silver saber. Hua Cheng raises an eyebrow at the intricate engravings depicting two swans embraced along the blade

“Ah, this sabre has such a tragic story!” Xie Lian explains, not even looking away from it to check if Hua Cheng is there (though Hua Cheng figures it's not really needed. He will always be right by Xie Lian and Xie Lian knows that very well. Such certainty ingrained in his love's actions makes his heart soar), “It was forged over a long period of time as a gift to the woman courted by the King, but after a night of passion, with the King fallen asleep, she stabbed him in the back with the very present she received. The blade of this sabre is much more curved than its contemporaries of the time! I wonder what difference would it make in a battle.”

“No one stabs another for no reason.” Hua Cheng manages to input in the small period Xie Lian takes to breathe, “I bet there is more to the story than that.”

“Oh, of course!” Xie Lian nods, “But those are the records from the era. We will never know what truly happened. This sabre remains as the only witness. How magnificent.”

Hua Cheng smiles at Xie Lian’s thoughtful expression and takes a step next to him, bringing his arm around Xie Lian’s shoulder, ready to pull him close and kiss his hair.

“Oh! Oh, dear!”

There’s nothing to break the momentum of his leaning when his boyfriend runs away and Hua Cheng stumbles sideways, stomping hard so he can regain balance. People stare at him and he tries to recover by raising his stretched out arm to his neck and scratching his nape.

He clears his throat again, straightening his shoulders to follow Xie Lian with as much dignity as he can muster.

Much of the date occurs like that. Xie Lian enthusiastically zipping from one corner to another, talking his ears off while Hua Cheng attempts to keep up, head spinning from how fast they jump from one subject to the next. Still, his chest is warm with affection, watching Xie Lian indulge in his passions the way he so rarely lets himself. He would gladly follow after Xie Lian for an eternity, simply watching his big, bright smile.

When they get to the final room of the exhibition, mostly empty except for the museum staff, Hua Cheng’s brain, so busy it was cramming all the information being thrown at him, realizes The Time has come and his stomach immediately cramps with a twinge of nervousness. Xie Lian grabs his wrist and shakes his arm, not minding his own strength and Hua Cheng is swayed back and forth with the force of his hold.

“San Lang!! San Lang!!” He whisper-shouts, practically vibrating from happiness.

“I see it, Gege, I see it.”

They get closer to the sword, the red reflection the blade exudes shining ominously.

“Rumor says this red glare came to be because of how much blood this sword has drawn, seeping into the fissures of the rock to never be pure again." Xie Lian whispers with wonder, “This sword has gone through more than a hundred masters, fought in a thousand battles, slayed a million enemies. It’s one of the oldest artifacts in existence this well-preserved.”

“That’s amazing, Gege.” He gives literally zero fucks about the sword, preferring to look at his beautiful, gorgeous boyfriend as the crimson light shifts the shadows of his face in soft caresses.

“San Lang! Look at the carefully crafted hilt! Look at the chips on the blade! You can even see how old each of them are by examining the damage around the cut! You can tell how the sword was blocked or parried by looking at the angle of the shaving!”

“Gege...”

Suddenly, Xie Lian turns to him, a light sheen of emotion over his determined eyes.

“San Lang, thank you.” He says with deep gratitude, “I can’t believe I’m seeing this, thank you so much for bringing me here!”

Hua Cheng’s breath catches, unexpectedly hit with the force of his love for Xie Lian and his hand automatically tightens around the ring box over his pocket.

It’s time. This is the perfect moment. What he’s been waiting for.

His chance.

“Gege…” He repeats.

“Hello!” They’re interrupted by a loud voice.

Hua Cheng snaps his head to the man, glaring at the newcomer with such ferocity even a starved, ravenous tiger would back away. The man who approached flinches, raising his hands placatingly.

“Oh, hello. Can we help you?” Xie Lian, sweet, innocent Xie Lian asks.

“W-well,” The guy presses his hands on his vest, museum badge swaying around his neck, “I couldn’t help but notice your very detailed account of the sword’s state. You, sir, are very knowledgeable in these matters.”

“Ah.” Xie Lian tucks a lock of hair behind his ear, embarrassed, “My apologies. I can get a bit too into it when the subject is weapons.”

“So I noticed!” The man gestures towards a glass door behind him, a big sign screaming ‘Gift Shop’ with bold letters above, “Why don’t you take a look at our printed catalogue? I’m sure it will make a fine read for when you’re back home!”

Hua Cheng sighs. One of his boyfriend’s many talents is being able to discern a scam faster than an attendant can think of swindling him. Not only that, but he is extremely frugal and avoids gift shops like a plague. But that is usually. Usually when they’re not inside a building surrounded by Xie Lian’s biggest fascionations, a miniature figurine of the main attraction enticingly calling for them.

Of course, that just means he will have to find a way to swipe his card at the register before Xie Lian can notice and chastise him for it.

Xie Lian walks to the gift shop in a trance while Hua Cheng helplessly trails behind.

Later that night, when they're finally back at Xie Lian’s apartment, Hua Cheng leans on his hand while Xie Lian recounts everything they saw and goes through all the photos he took, mumbling an enamored ‘mhm’ every once in a while.

He didn’t manage to propose, but it’s okay. Seeing the excited gleam in Xie Lian’s eyes makes this date a success in Hua Cheng’s books.

His next plan is to drive Xie Lian to the beach. Two weeks after the initial proposal attempt was thwarted, they’re blessed with a sunny, hot day.

Shi Qingxuan is starting to fill his phone with notifications, pestering him over why he hasn’t heard the big news from his best friend yet. Hua Cheng almost wants to scream. If Shi Qingxuan is frustrated with the wait, imagine Hua Cheng himself.

They arrive at the beach with the morning sun flaring high in the sky, many families already enjoying the peak of the season, paragliders flying over the ocean, kids setting up their kites. Hua Cheng squints, annoyed.

His boyfriend loves the beach. He has confided in Hua Cheng before about the summers spent here with his parents, filled with wonderful, irreplaceable yet bittersweet memories of when everything was okay and the difficulties of the world had not tainted the simplicity of childhood. The beach has become somewhat of a fond, timeless place where he can reminisce and relax, listening to the gentle sound of the waves, the fun laughter of kids and calmly feeling the salty air on his lips.

Hua Cheng respects that, because he is terribly, devastatingly in love with Xie Lian... But he really can’t understand the appeal of fish stink and sticky sand.

It doesn’t help that the sun seems to have a personal vendetta against him in the first place. Instead of tanning the smooth, enticing light brown of Xie Lian’s skin, he burns bright red and hot like a lobster and his good eye stings at the reflection of the light in the water, even behind sunglasses.

But this is Xie Lian’s precious childhood place and he’s ready to make one more good memory here, no matter what.

After spreading a very generous layer of sunscreen and setting up the cheap rent parasol, Hua Cheng finally turns to his boyfriend, to ask if he wants anything. That’s what he intended to do, until Xie Lian decided to just grab the back of his shirt and pull it off like a model in a perfume commercial as if Hua Cheng’s human need of breathing is something he can just discard like that.

His skin glistens with a thin sheen of sweat and Hua Cheng needs to swallow dry, watching the 8-pack in all its glory, usually hidden under the cover of a lean figure.

Soon his brain screams at him that he doesn’t have to only look, he can touch as well. This is his boyfriend. His gorgeous, strong, hot as fuck boyfriend and if he wants to flirt until he drops dead, by all means he can.

He walks closer and hooks a finger on Xie Lian’s pinkie, leaning down to speak near his ear.

“Ah, I never would have thought Gege could be so cruel.” He mutters, “He likes torturing me like this and watching me squirm.”

Then he places a small kiss on the back of his earlobe.

He expects Xie Lian to shrink away, raise a shoulder and blush cutely, but instead he looks at Hua Cheng with a mischievous shine to his eye.

No, he doesn’t shy away, doesn’t pull back as he would when they were both new to affection, to wanting and being wanted. What he does is hook his arms around Hua Cheng’s thighs and lift him up like a sack of potatoes, running to the sea with an entire 6’3 man thrown over his shoulder.

Hua Cheng will not admit to letting out a surprised, slightly horny squeak.

He’s thrown down in the water and hugged from behind, Xie Lian’s laughter ringing like music and Hua Cheng feels full and whole and warm, despite the gelid sea chilling his shoulders.

They play in the ocean and rest under the shade for the rest of the day, talking and hugging. Xie Lian enjoys it, Hua Cheng tries to ignore the sand sticking to unspeakable places and all goes well. It’s around 4pm, everyone in the beach at the height of the fun, when he searches the sky for what will happen next.

Soon, a banner plane with the words ‘Will you marry me, Xie Lian’ is scheduled to fly over the unaware spectators and Hua Cheng taps his foot impatiently. The company he hired is probably setting up beyond the small hill that circles this part of the ocean.

After another ten minutes of waiting, he finally sees the plane coming from behind the peak, the beginning of the banner already visible.

‘Will--’

“Look.” He nudges Xie Lian, “What’s happening there?”

His boyfriend turns to look, curiously, and Hua Cheng feels his hands becoming sweaty, tries to wipe them in his swim trunks to no success. All he manages is to make them dirty with sand.

‘Will you marr--’

But he barely notices the disgusting mixture of dirt and sweat, as focused he is on watching the plane go smoothly.

‘Will you marry m--’

It’s almost there, Xie Lian’s name almost appearing.

Hua Cheng’s heart thumps so fast it almost jumps out his throat.

‘Will you marry me, X--’

“Oh no!” His boyfriend gasps.

They both watch with an impending sense of horror as a paraglider is hit with an unfortunately timed gust of wind and crashes right against the end of the banner, ripping the sheet apart in his struggle to get free. They both watch as the paraglider falls slowly to the ocean, white pieces of cloth miserably destroyed by the water.

Hua Cheng watches as the banner’s remains spell,

‘Will you marry me, X’

“Oh my god, I hope he’s okay.” Xie Lian says, worried.

It’s just too incredible to believe in. His brain does an emergency shutdown for a few minutes in order to avoid the complete catastrophic failure it’s threatening to commit. By the time he comes back to himself, the lifeguards are attending to the fallen man and an ambulance is right behind, Xie Lian talking and nodding to one of the paramedics.

“It seems like the man is okay and wasn’t hurt too badly by the fall!” His boyfriend explains when he returns to his side, relieved.

“What a shame.” Hua Cheng says.

“Eh?”

“Nothing.” He tries to smile at Xie Lian with as much sincerity he has. It’s not much, but he tries, “Let’s go?”

He nods and they both walk back to the car. Hua Cheng still feels in a trance, like at any point he’s going to either wake up or Xie Lian will turn to him and shout this is all a hidden camera prank. It’s the only reasonable explanation.

But they reach the car and no one comes to bring Hua Cheng out of his misery.

“I wonder…” His boyfriend mutters.

“Hm?”

“No, I’m just thinking.” Xie Lian says and smiles, “At least something good came out of that almost tragedy! Someone at the beach right now was proposed!”

Hua Cheng internally screams all the way home.

Fine.

Fine!

It doesn’t matter! He has an infinite reserve of places and activities he'd love to do with Xie Lian and, Gods help him, he will propose in one of them even if it's the last thing he does!

Hua Cheng comes to a conclusion. A serious, terrifying conclusion. The conclusion that the God of Misfortune itself must be hanging around his neck like dead weight and refusing to fucking let go.

In a moment of unhinged weakness, he begs for this sadistic imaginary being to please, please, leave him alone!

Every date he has gone with Xie Lian in the past month went horribly. He tried taking his boyfriend to a picnic in a secluded part of the park which he personally decorated with fairy lights and flowers and all other sorts of cheesy stuff, but they couldn’t even spend twenty minutes there before a ridiculous amount of locusts, enough to rival the plague of Egypt clouded their night. It was only later they found out through a local guard that the park was temporarily closed due to an infestation.

Not one to give up, he then tried to take Xie Lian to a movie theater, nothing extraordinary, so they could at least chill before he brought out the big question. This time, the problem was an emergency at work that had Xie Lian stay at his phone through most of their night, solving whatever dumbassery his coworkers were too useless to figure out by themselves.

One day, he even tried to propose without warning. They were just walking to the coffee shop to buy some pastries when he kneeled in the middle of the streets, desperate to make this work. However, the second his knee hit the ground, a random dog appeared out of nowhere and raised a leg to happily mark Hua Cheng as his territory.

At least, his murderous aura was enough to scare the dog away, whining and crying.

Nothing worked, nothing went the way he wanted or expected to. Hua Cheng is starting to believe he might be the target of some divine calamity. He used to be an atheist, used to snort at the notion of higher beings pulling the strings under the curtains, but from now on, he is certain that gods exist, and they’re up there in the heavens laughing their shit off at his expense.

No matter how absurd his mind tries to tell him that notion is, he still finds himself thinking that, jokes aside, maybe this is not it. Maybe he shouldn’t keep trying, maybe all of these bizarre occurrences are a sign it’s not the right moment to take this step.

It would be best for him to store the ring deep into his closet and forget all about it until this wave of bad luck lets him be. This is the only rational choice to make after everything that went wrong.

It’s what he should do.

But… The thing is…

He really wants to marry Xie Lian. It’s been so long since he’s been contemplating and daydreaming of it, it almost feels like an integral part of himself. He wants to call Xie Lian his husband, wants to wake up everyday to him by his side, soft and vulnerable because he trusts Hua Cheng enough to let go completely and Hua Cheng trusts him just as much.

He wants people to see the ring on his finger and know he belongs to someone else and that special, noble someone chose to belong to him as well. He wants to have the confirmation of their commitment to spend the rest of their lives falling in love over and over again, every day until they’re old and gray.

He thinks if he wastes any more time without Xie Lian as his husband, as his fiancé, without being able to show how vast this wondrous yearning consuming all parts of his being is, he will seriously die.

Hua Cheng is not selfless. He is not kind, honorable or altruistic. He has demanded for things before, he has cursed the world before and he has been abandoned by fate many times. But in each and every one of those moments, he triumphed and conquered destiny with teeth and nails, pure spite the only fuel that kept him going.

Hua Cheng is not any of those virtuous qualities, but he is stubborn. And most important of all, when it comes to Xie Lian, he refuses to yield to anyone’s wants besides his love’s. Happiness, pure unadulterated happiness made him greedy and whoever wants to take this from him will have to pry it off his cold, dead hands.

And if God really does exist and is fucking with him, well… Hua Cheng will just have to challenge God.

The festival is bustling with interest by the time they arrive.

The main street of the neighborhood around the lake is lined with colorful stalls, lanterns bright and inviting. Their town is celebrating some anniversary or another and what better excuse to waste people’s tax money than with a big tourist event? Lampposts and historical buildings are decorated with red ribbons and golden adornments and many activities are available to the public’s entertainment.

It’s not Hua Cheng’s favorite occasion, but it will have to do.

“Gege, put this on.”

Xie Lian stares at him with confusion for a second before reluctantly slipping on the cap and face mask Hua Cheng hands him and Hua Cheng does the same himself, ensuring they won’t be recognized by a certain malicious goblin or a certain pair of idiots.

This is the best chance he will get for a nice, fun date for awhile now and he made sure to come completely prepared for whatever trial the god of misfortune decides to throw at him next (and no, he will not dignify the bastard with capitalized titles). Inside his bag he brought a counter to all the possible hassles that might occur during this date, including a first-aid kit, potent bug spray and a taser.

They follow the stream of people, stopping by the booths to check their wares and the games prepared for recreation. Hua Cheng guides Xie Lian with a hand on back, but also keeps a careful watch over his shoulder.

“San Lang, look! Let’s play this one!”

He hums absent-minded, squinting his eye to see if the shadow around the corner could be any one of their acquaintances.

“San Lang?” Xie Lian calls, trying to peer over what he’s looking at, but there’s no way he can see above the crowd with his height like Hua Cheng can.

“Sorry, Gege. What did you want me to look at?”

His boyfriend smiles and picks up the wooden gun, a wall with balloons set in the opposite side of the booth.

“Which prize do you want? I’ll get it for you.”

Hua Cheng feels the burst of affection rise in his chest, but he tamps it down in order to pick the gun from Xie Lian’s hands and give it a good inspection. He moves it this and that way, making sure nothing is wrong that could potentially hurt his boyfriend. The attendant of the booth watches his actions with frowned eyebrows.

“I can guarantee you, good sir, that our game is a hundred percent safe and tested.” He grumbles.

“Haha, of course.” Hua Cheng looks at it some more before giving it back to Xie Lian, who is staring at him weirdly, before focusing back on the game.

“So… The prize?” He asks.

“Oh, whatever.” Hua Cheng replies, going back to his vigilance.

There’s an almost disappointed sag to Xie Lian’s shoulders when he hands him a white stuffed ferret toy, but he has no idea what exactly put it there.

They continue strolling through the festival, stopping a couple of times along the way, Hua Cheng carefully examining their surroundings without rest. At one point, Xie Lian asks to buy something to eat and they make their way to the scallion pancake stall.

The lady has a couple of ready-made pancakes in order to keep traffic from overwhelming her booth and is passing one of those to Xie Lian when Hua Cheng places his arm in front of him, protectively. Xie Lian glances at him with that same weird look again.

“We would prefer if you made the pancake in front of us.”

He can practically feel the way Xie Lian’s jaw drops behind him. Yes, his boyfriend has eaten many stranger and more disgusting dishes in his life, amazingly without consequences so far. But with his current string of bad luck, Hua Cheng will not risk ending their night together in a hospital with food poisoning.

The woman huffs exasperatedly, but she can’t really deny his request, so they leave her stall with a fresh set of pancakes. Set of pancakes he makes sure to check thoroughly for hair or another unexpected ingredient.

“San Lang, it’s fine. It’s just pancakes.”

But he barely pays attention to what is said, already steering his boyfriend away from the direction of an innocent dog, sitting near the ring toss game. No toilet duty today, hell no.

An hour later, after walking through the festival, they settle down in a hill farther away where many couples chose to watch the fireworks show, disguises abandoned due to the stuffy air of the crowd. It’s so close to the perfect moment Hua Cheng planned to propose that he can’t help but feel even more paranoid, looking over his shoulder to the tree line behind them every couple of seconds.

The first firework blooms in the sky, lighting up the night with its beautiful colors over the ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s of the viewers below. Xie Lian stares in wonder, soft smile crossing over his face.

“Wow, everything is so beautiful.” He says and then looks at Hua Cheng expectantly.

Hua Cheng barely looks away from the railing around the small cliff they’re standing. It looks worn down with age and he doesn’t want to risk them falling.

With a couple of step backwards, pulling Xie Lian along, he replies, “Yeah, sure.”

From the corner of his eye, he notices Xie Lian’s face falling and his eyebrows frowning with displeasure. Immediately he turns, focusing solely on his boyfriend and what could possibly have made him upset. The loud rumble of the fireworks echoes in his ears.

“Funny.” Xie Lian says, “You usually say ‘not as beautiful as you’ or something else to that extent.”

Hua Cheng blinks. He… admittedly did not pay enough attention to what Xie Lian said in order to give him his signature response. As if realizing how silly and indulgent it sounds, Xie Lian’s face reddens and he shakes his arms in front of him.

“A-ah!” He yelps, “N-not that I want you to compliment me, I just noticed that you usually do that, but today you didn’t! And you’ve already been acting strangely, so this stood out even more, but forget what I said, just pretend I didn’t mention it--”

Hua Cheng takes his hand and Xie Lian shuts his mouth with an audible click.

“Gege.” He smiles, “I thought it was already so obvious it didn’t even merit saying. In my eye, you’ll always be the most beautiful view.”

The sweet blush in Xie Lian’s cheeks darkens and he leans on Hua Cheng’s shoulder, hiding on the collar of his jacket.

The firework show ends, but they stay tucked against each other anyway. Xie Lian nuzzles his neck gently, tender kisses on the line of his collarbone warming Hua Cheng’s skin in a way the hottest sun could never accomplish. They’re alone in that little patch of grass, and even if they weren’t, nothing else could hope to interfere this moment.

It’s perfect. What he’s been preparing for all night. For months, even. Maybe for years. Maybe he’s been preparing for this his whole life.

Hua Cheng parts from Xie Lian, hands tight around the other’s.

“Gege…”

This is it.

Finally.

“San Lang?” Xie Lian asks, “Is everything alright? You didn’t… seem all here this entire day.”

He opens his mouth to answer, to ask, but finds that his voice dies inside his throat. Looking at Xie Lian’s worried expression, he realizes just how much of an idiot he is.

To say this date was lackluster would be polite at best. He never wanted things to go this way. What he decided in the very first day the idea of proposing seriously popped in his mind, was that Xie Lian deserves to have the best proposal in history. Xie Lian, his amazing, kind, endearing Xie Lian deserves the world.

Certainly…

He even deserves better than Hua Cheng.

This is the truth of what Hua Cheng has been avoiding all these nights. That, after the failure of all his proposals until now, there was frustration and annoyance, yes, but… there was also relief. The relief that something other than his insecurities is ruining things. The relief that he does not have to find out he isn’t enough.

This is the truth: he will not be able to withstand if Xie Lian says no.

His chest is clenching painfully, panic gripping him around the neck, choking the words inside his mouth before they can attempt to change what he and Xie Lian have forever. Because despite dating for five years, despite knowing each other for even longer, despite marriage being the natural next step for their relationship, that little voice in the back of his mind that says ‘you’ve fooled him, you’ve fooled him into thinking you are good, into thinking you are worthy’ is still there.

That voice will always exist, however small, as long as Hua Cheng lives.

This is not what Xie Lian deserves.

His hand squeezes the ring box over his pocket.

“San Lang?” Xie Lian tilts his head.

“Ah…” He says pitifully, “No… It’s nothing.”

They walk back to the car in silence. Hua Cheng drives Xie Lian to his apartment and accompanies him to the door like he always does. Xie Lian leans on the doorframe and looks at him from under his eyelashes.

“Do you want to spend the night? I don’t have work tomorrow.”

If this was any other night, he would have probably made some sort of witty innuendo to see Xie Lian’s flush, but now he has no desire to do so. He simply mumbles, “Sure, Gege.”

His boyfriend pulls him by the hand, up the elevator, inside his apartment without any conscious notice of Hua Cheng's. His mood is lower than the gutters, the ring box weighing heavily inside his pants, pulling his leg like a shackle.

When they reach his living room, Xie Lian turns, cradling Hua Cheng’s face between his hands.

“Are you alright?” He asks, seriously.

He never wants his love to worry about him, so Hua Cheng forces himself to smile.

“Of course, Gege. How can I not be when I’m with you?”

He leans in to kiss Xie Lian’s cheek and his heart lifts itself up from the ground by the slightest bit when his boyfriend giggles.

“San Lang!” He bemoans playfully and then pulls Hua Cheng back to make eye contact, soft smile in place, “But you would tell me if you weren't?”

Hua Cheng is strong enough not to gulp, not to show anything on his face besides another small blink. So many years spent together yet he still forgets how much his boyfriend knows him, how deeply he delves every nook and cranny of his being.

“I’ll always be here for you.” Xie Lian says gently, pure adoration exhaling from his words and kisses his jaw soft and slow.

His heart feels like jumping out his chest if he doesn’t do anything right this instant, so Hua Cheng smartly decides to fall forward and catch Xie Lian’s mouth with his own.

They kiss like it’s the first time, just emotion and no technique. Those are the best kisses, Hua Cheng would say, and hearing Xie Lian’s gasp as he licks his way into his lips confirms it perfectly. Their tongues slide on each other, hot and slow, lightning bolts running down Hua Cheng’s spine.

He kisses that curved mouth once, twice, three times and many more, losing count of the movement of their lips. Only after much struggle, he chooses to slide down Xie Lian’s chin, neck, pulse. He presses biting kisses at every spot he deems necessary, and there are a lot of those.

“San Lang,” Xie Lian gasps, “I love you.”

That only serves to fuel him further, pulling Xie Lian closer by the waist, so close they can become one like this.

I’ll always be here for you.

How hard it is to believe these words fall so easily from the alluring, perfect lips of his love, how hard it is to believe there used to be a time he longed to hear words like these, certain that it would always be a silly, intangible wish.

I’ll always be here for you.

How unimaginable it is to realize they’ve reached this level of easy companionship, where every movement of Hua Cheng’s is matched flawlessly by Xie Lian, so synchronized they are in where their love takes them.

San Lang, I love you.

Xie Lian throws his head back, high-pitched moan sparkling the electric current between them, pulling Hua Cheng’s hair and calling him closer, louder.

He can’t take it. His heart is beating like crazy.

Xie Lian leans back down and whines softly in his ear and it’s the most beautiful sound he has ever heard until he decides to moan again and raise the bar that was set before. Until they make love, again and again, until they have spent their own little eternities together.

Without noticing, a tear wells in his good eye and when Hua Cheng inhales to breathe, after what feels like years without air, in the exhale, a gentle phrase slips past his mouth.

“Marry me.”

Xie Lian freezes.

Xie Lian freezes and Hua Cheng feels his stomach plummet to the floor at his sheer imbecility.

“What?” Xie Lian’s eyes are wide with shock.

“No…” He mutters, voice trembling with alarm, “No!”

Xie Lian swallows, “No?”

“No!” Hua Cheng exclaims, before backtracking on what he’s saying, “I mean yes! I mean, fuck!”

It was not supposed to be like this! Why, out of all times, did his dumb mouth chose to betray him now?! The urge to knock himself into a coma so he won’t have to be in this situation anymore is so strong it leaves him dizzy.

“What’s going on?!” Xie Lian asks, distraught.

Hua Cheng takes a deep breath that may or may not get stuck in its way down and pulls Xie Lian closer by his hands, firmly grasping them to pretend he isn’t shaking.

“Hahaha,” Xie Lian laughs nervously, “San Lang, I think I must be going crazy, because I swear I heard you say--”

“You heard it right.” Hua Cheng interrupts before he loses his courage and bolts himself from the sixth floor, “Gege, I…”

With a frantic heart, he pulls the ring box from his pocket. That tiny, simple ring box that has been waiting patiently for months now. Xie Lian’s eyes get impossibly wider.

Hua Cheng has never felt this nervous in his entire life. His confident, arrogant mask is all he has, but in front of Xie Lian’s questioning look, it crumbles to dust by his feet, leaving the small boy that never grew up from his insecurities exposed and vulnerable.

“Gege--, no. Xie Lian.” He tries to swallow around his dry throat in vain, “You make me the happiest person in the world. Even before we got together, basking in your presence was already the highlight of my days, but then… Then you asked me to be with you and every day since then has been unbelievable. If I can spend the rest of our lives making you feel at least half of what I feel for you, I know that will be enough.”

Raising his head right now is one of the hardest things he has ever done, but he does it anyway. He meets Xie Lian’s gaze, wet with unfallen tears and deep with emotion and continues,

“You once told me… to be able to go on in life, one needs to find their dream and work towards it. Xie Lian, the truth is, you are my dream. My heart will always belongs to you, whether you want it or not. So I ask, do you want it? Will you marry me?”

There’s a long stretch of silence. He does not dare to keep looking at Xie Lian after his speech is done, face falling down, eye glued to the floor.

No matter how many riches he accumulates, no matter what beauty routines he does to maintain his looks, no matter whatever social status he acquires, in the end of the day, the only thing he can offer that Xie Lian might accept is his heart. And that’s the most terrifying fact to Hua Cheng.

He hears a small intake of breath and prepares himself for the rejection.

Strong warms wrap around his torso.

Hua Cheng gasps, looking down to see Xie Lian hugging him tight, a wet patch forming in his shirt.

“Yes.” Xie Lian whispers, “Yes!”

Yes. Yes, he will marry Hua Cheng. Yes, he accepts. His sight becomes blurry and Hua Cheng’s entire form slumps forward, falling into Xie Lian as easy as it is to breathe.

He pulls Xie Lian’s face towards his. His fiancé’s cheeks are blotchy red, tears tracking paths down to his neck, nose running still. But before any of that, he has the happiest smile of all, and it’s directed towards Hua Cheng.

It’s because of Hua Cheng.

As pretty as it is, as much as Hua Cheng would love to look at it forever, he prefers to lean down and capture that smile with his own.

He will have the rest of their lives to see it again, after all.