Chapter Text
richie is bi. this is a known fact.
stan is straight. this is known, but not a fact.
stan is actually very into boys. he first discovered this when he was 15 and sleeping in the same bed as bill denbrough, and ever since then, his life has been hell. he’s managed to hide it well but with richies recent outing, he keeps wondering if maybe people wouldn’t hate him if he came out now.
“you can’t deny that ronald reagan would be hot in a one-piece.”
“richie shut the fuck up.” eddie sipped on the straw connected to his cup.
“ye-yeah richie. we all k-know reagan would look b-buh...better in a two-piece.” bill winked at eddie and reached across the table to steal one of richies fries.
the losers gang, minus ben, were all seated around a park bench table for lunch. richie, stan and beverly on one side, and bill, mike and eddie on the other.
“see it’s times like these when i wonder who you truly think of when you’re jerkin your gherkin.” richie picked up a fry, pointed it at bill and then shoved it in his mouth.
“isn’t it o-obvious? i th-thuh...think of you.” bill snickered and richie threw his head back with laughter.
“i knew it!” richie yelled before he swallowed the rest of the fry. “i knew you were in love with me!” eddie smacked his palm on the table.
“don’t encourage him big bill!” eddie couldn’t help but smirk at the two boys. he looked to bev and mike for a little help on the subject but they were deep in their own conversation.
“even without bills help, richie would still find a way to talk about masturbating to people with disabilities.” stan perked up with a straight face.
“st-suh-s...stuttering is not a disability!” bill glared at stan and then grinned.
“but being a jew is.” richie slung an arm around stans shoulder. “he can’t get it up without think of mother marys virgin tits.” stan rolled his eyes and sunk under richies arm. his cheeks turned a light pink and he coughed to cover up the fact that richies lingering arm made his stomach feel fuzzy.
“i wasn’t talking about your stutter- i was talking about the fact that richies an idiot.” stan hissed and richie gasped.
“being an idiot isn’t a disability either! it’s a gift.” richie looked around the campus at the other students. “i finally fit in with the common language.” eddie laughed sipped his drink again.
“you’re almost as stupid as amanda hunty.” bev said, splitting from her own conversation for a moment.
“ay don’t bring that name up around stan.” richie peered over stan to send a playful glare at beverly.
“ya-yeah. he muh-might piss his pants again.” bill giggled and stan shuffled richies arm off of him.
“i didn’t piss my pants you assholes. i just-“
“oh so that wasn’t piss? damn uris- and we thought you hated her.” richie licked his lips and ate another fry.
stan hated these jokes. these jokes about how he was bad at talking to girls. this week the subject was amanda hunty. she wasn’t the brightest but she sure was pretty. stan could see that.
it had been a week since she came up to stan after math and confessed her love. stan just smiled, nodded, and ran off. he couldn’t deal with that shit right now. so he ran to the bathroom, that’s what stimulated the rumors. that he had pissed himself- or jizzed himself- at the thought of a girl liking him.
“i just needed to cool down. jeez. i didn’t like her and i didn’t know how to tell her that.” stan crossed his arms and looked at his plate.
“it’s fine stan. we get it.” eddie smiled sympathetically.
“you were p-pr...probably nervous.” bill chipped in. richie nodded.
“it’s fine if you wanna keep your hymen intact.” richie said with no trace of a smile on his lips. stan punched his arm hard and turned his back towards richie. “ow- just kidding stanley.”
“s-ss...sometimes you’re not f-fucking funny, richie.” bill snapped and went back to stealing richies fries. stan suddenly got up and grabbed his bag from under the table.
“stan wait i’m sorry!” richie reached for stans hand but he was already gone. “god... fuck.” he groaned as he put his head in his hands.
“it’s fine richie. i think he’s just overly sensitive this week for some reason.” eddie said as the bell rang, alerting people that lunch was over.
“i know but it’s not even this week! it’s the subject. i mean whenever i mention a girl like this to him- he gets...” richie trailed off and slowly looked to stans’ figure walking away. why do you get like this?
“richie- rich. earth to moron.” mike snapped his fingers next to richies ear.
“what if he’s-“ not into girls . richie jerked back to face them. he hadn’t even realized he had started a sentence again until beverly spoke. everytime richie had ever made fun of stan on this subject ran through his head right now.
“what if he’s what?” bev asked.
“u-uh um.” richie swallowed thickly and smirked. “on his period.” they all groaned and richie got up quickly. “sorry- had to.” he grabbed his bag and flipped a peace sign at the table as he rushed off.
stan couldn’t be gay. could he?