Chapter Text
"Shit...shit....shit.", Ellie grits her teeth looking at her pale, sickly reflection in the bathroom mirror. She tries to keep her panicky tone of voice down, afraid of waking her sleeping boyfriend. Perhaps if she wasn't freaking out, Ellie might've giggled at how ridiculously this whole situation is. Alec stuck in after Tom went to bed, being Alec and Ellie was still so new to them both. They didn't want to tell the kids yet, not until Ellie and Alec were certain. Ellie nor Alec thought their children would response well to heartache if this doesn't end well.
Ellie loses the battle against the sudden waves of nausea and grips the counter top as she vomits. Her whole body lurches with the force of the retching. She feels so bloody cold as her limbs shiver and her eyes water with tears. Ellie isn't aware of her quiet sobs until she hears Alec's concerned voice calling out for her. He has the courtesy to knock, and despite his desire to knock down the door, Hardy doesn't.
"Can I come in, love?", Hardy asks softly.
Ellie sniffles and tries to collect her a moment as she wipes at her teary red eyes. She can hear Alec nervously shifting from foot to foot like he's got too much energy thrumming through his body to stand still.
"Yeah, come in."
The door opens softly, Alec has a frown on his lips and his eyebrows are knitted together in concern. His grip is steady and reassuring as Hardy encourages her to rinse her mouth out. They both gently move to lean against the bathtub and settle themselves. Alec is holding her, arms wrapped around her and Ellie lays her head against his chest. She closes her eyes, listening to his pacemaker loudly tick. It brings her comfortable, how she can hear his heart beating even from across the room. Ellie sits her with her ear pressed to his chest, she lets the tension bled out of her.
"What is wrong, El?',Alec asks with such tenderness she wasn't aware he was capable of.
"My period is ten days late, Alec. I feel like shit, nauseated, and vomiting."
"H-have you taken a test?"
"Not yet. Been slightly feeling off for about a week. The nausea is new though."
"Anything I can do?"
"Yeah, get out of here the hell out of here before my kids notice you are here."
"I don't want to leave you.", Alec pouts.
"We don't want to arouse suspicion."
"Daze doesn't know I'm gone either."
"Real fucking mess we got ourselves in.", Ellie groans.
"How about I pick a test from Tesco? You get your kids off to school. I'll get Daze to school. We'll meet at the office, take this bloody test and deal with things from there."
"Fine. But I'm gonna kill ya if you managed to get me pregnant, you knob."
"Aye."
"Give me a second, alright?"
"Sure.", Alec kisses her forehead, trying to be reassuring as he hesitantly exited the bathroom and let her pull her disheveled appearance together.
Alec leaves to get her a glass of water and some soda crackers from the kitchen discreetly. With a quick look at the oven clock, Hardy knows it's much too early for any of the children to be up. He takes his time and gives Ellie a moment to collect herself while Hardy changes the sheets in the master bedroom. It's hard to believe last night, they were feeling carefree and love stick when they made love for the fourth time this week.
By the time, he's gotten the bed remade, a garbage bin beside the bed, and items from the kitchen on the night stand, Ellie has reemerged in the bedroom. She looks exhausted, and gently climbs into bed. Alec doesn't know what to do, it's been nearly seventeen years since he's dealt with pregnancy and relationships. Daisy was very much wanted and planned, a potentially unplanned pregnancy feels out of his expertise.
His relationship with Ellie is still new, unexplored. Alec is learning her cues, it dawns on him how much he still doesn't know about her. He can't place that look on her face, and Hardy thought he knew her so well. He tries to follow her lead, struggling hopeless and standing there awkwardly like an idiot. Her entire body language suggests 'Fuck off, I don't want to be smothered.' It goes against every instinct in his body, Alec does not want to leave her, not like this.
The last few months with Ellie has been satisfying than his entire marriage and the stints of failed relationships Alec has lived through. He feels different when he is with her. Like the part of his soul that was missing has been found and woven together as apart of him. It's stupid maybe, but Alex Hardy thinks he might've found his match in Ellie Miller. His heart beats erratically, and he almost forgets to breath until she speaks to him.
"Don't be a fucking knob and pass out on my floor.", Ellie teased, with no malice in her voice.
"Right."
"Get it together, Hardy."
He sighs, and quickly tries to find his scattered about clothing. Alec once dressed in his clothes from last night, says goodbye from across the room, and turns to leave about the time Ellie throws a pillow at him.
"I'm going, I'm going.", Alec raises his hands as a sign of peace. He's quiet as he slips out the front door, careful not the wake Fred and Tom.
Alec makes the short walk home in the pissing rain, and tries to get a grip on himself. He can feel the tendrils of panic wrap around his entire chest, compressing his ability to breath. Hardly looks at the rising sun and decides he does not have time for a panic when he has to get Daze off to school. He slips around the sliding glass door and disappears into his own bedroom.
Steadying himself, Alex decides to quickly shower and dress himself in clean clothes. The mindless routine of his morning helps him calm his busy mind, he can't help but worry about Ellie, their relationship and their children. They haven't been dating long, their children don't know, their co-workers don't know. They are alone in this, no one to confide in expect each other. They might be having a baby. Alec thinks to himself, "I'm too fucking old for this."
It takes a herculean effort to shove down his emotions and pretend to have his shit together. Good thing, he's an expert in emotional repression and secret keeping after almost dying last year. Around six thirty am, Hardy hears Daisy down the hall getting ready for school. She appears before too long in her school uniform and they quietly eat breakfast at the table. Daisy is staring at him, her Father's silence, and occasional grunts are nothing new but she thinks he looks awful tired for someone who just started his day.
Daisy doesn't say a word though, not yet. She makes idle conversation, and appreciates his occasional signs that reassure her he is listening. Her father has always been quite strange, but he seems more strange than usual. He actually hugs her before they get into the car, it makes her wonder what is wrong. Alec Hardy is not often cuddly and affectionate. It throws her off, but Daisy hugs her father tightly giving him whatever reassure he needed in that moment.
The drive to school is better than the endless abyss of silence over breakfast. He inquires about her schedule for the day, having perked up a bit. It finally drives Daisy to stop him and find out what the hell is going on.
She interrupts him, "Are you dying or something?"
"No, I'm not dying, darlin'."
"You are acting strange, Da."
"Didn't get much sleep last night."
"Oh, nightmare?"
"Just an restlessness night, I suppose."
"Take care of yourself, alright?"
"I promise, Daze.", Alec kisses her forehead before she leaves for school. Daisy, with a concerned look in her eyes climbs out of the car and heads towards school. She looks back at him, a sinking feeling in her gut.
Alec drives to work in silence, gripping the wheel tightly, and chewing on the bottom on his lip. He makes a stop at Tesco, and purchases several pregnancy tests. His hands shake unsteady as he nears the self-check out and quietly slips some pounds into the machine. His items are quickly shoved into a bag and Alec leaves as discreet as possible.
By the time he's arrived at work, Hardy finds Miller at her desk. She looks about as awful as he does. They look at each other, she sees the Tesco bag in his hand. Hardy picks up a new case file, and writes Miller-Hardy on the dry erase board to note their new assignment. They end up in his office pretending to discuss the basis of their new case, trying to be discreet.
"I've got the tests, lass."
"Thank fuck."
"Anything I can do?"
"Oh, you're doing swimmingly dear."
Alec closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her. They share a brief kiss, and she melts into him. she sniffles needing the moment of reassurance. Ellie is surprised when she hears him voice a thought, breaking the silence.
"I'm so sorry, El.", Alec's voice breaks. He is uncertainty whether this potential pregnancy is a good thing or not.
"Oh, sweetheart. It takes two."
"Still, I might've put a baby there.", his hands go to her middle. Tears shine in his eyes, he is as nervous as she is.
"Oh, hush, we'll figure it out."
"Wanna take the tests?"
"Yeah, I bloody well do."
"Here, love.", Alec hands her a plastic Tesco bag which she puts into her purse. She squeezes his hand, trying to be grounding for the both of them.
"I'll just be a mo."
"Right behind you."
The station has a long hallway of gender neutral, individual toilets. Ellie quietly opens the packages and reads the instructions. It's been four years since she last took a pregnancy test. It's familiar, the sense of panic and uncertainty, yet Fred ended up being one of the best joys of her life.
Ellie unzips her trousers, pulling down her pants and sits on the toilet seat. She urinates and wets each of the four pregnancy tests before sitting them on the sink. Miller resettles her clothing, flushes the toilet and washes her hands. She lets Alec into the tiny cramped space of the restroom and he sits a timer as they wait for results. It is the longest five minuets of their life.
When the timer goes off, Alec sits up and voices a thought, "Do you want to look or shall I?"
"I'll look.", Ellie decides.
She flips over each test, and takes in the information quietly. Two lines means positive, and she finds two strong pink lines on each of the tests, it sinks in slowly, Ellie is pregnant. Alec is watching her trying to gauge her emotions, so unsure of himself and his role in this unexpected situation.
"Are we having a baby, lass?"
"We're having a baby."
They both cling to each other desperately. Alec is still teary-eyed at this point and Ellie is trying to process what this might mean for their relationship. They hadn't talked through the implications of having this baby, telling their children, and blending their shared life together in ways they haven't done before. It is a lot of information to deal with all at once, Ellie thinks. But if anyone can do it is Alec and Ellie, Ellie and Alec. They make quite the team, that much she is sure of.