Work Text:
Ferdinand took a deep breath as he split apart from his dancing classmates and just ran a gloved hand through his hair as he watched Dorothea grab Bernadetta by the hand before whisking her away like a princess from fairy tales. There was a bit of a faint smile upon his lips as he watched Bernie, with a beat red flushed face, practically scream as Dorothea spun her around. He'd enjoyed his time dancing, first dancing with Hubert (To prove that he was the better dancer, not Edelgard) and then lastly with Petra before deciding to stop for the mean time. However, there was one person he had his sights on to dance with before the night was over: His Professor, Byleth.
In the back of his head, Ferdinand knew it was scandalous but his heart couldn't help itself as he slowly find himself finding more and more interest in his Professor. When he thinks about it, he usually comes to the conclusion that this little crush started the moment she'd so easily dispatched those demonic beasts he struggled against; Her knowledge on weapons was close to being on par with his, by the goddess they were most likely better, and he found himself staring just a bit too long as she stretched her muscles to ready herself to use said weapons. How she held her body with a lance, the most perfect stance he'd ever seen, and the strength she used to swing an axe. By Serios, he thought his heart might sprout legs and confess to her himself. But he couldn't tell her, not right now at least, they had more important things to discuss than his infatuation.
He quietly sipped as his drink, watching as Claude danced with Byleth with this goofy smile upon his gentle face. Perhaps he should tell her how he felt, they were more or less the same age, the worst she could do was reject him and they could continue on with their night. She was the same age...right? He'd heard different rumors around the Black Eagle house and one he felt he couldn't believe due to the absurd nature of them. Linhardt had theorized that she was, in fact, a being from many years ago due to her forgotten crest. Caspar guessed she was around 20 making her about the same age as Hubert, making her four years older than him and three years older than Ferdinand. Others, like Dorothea and Edelgard, had agreed with Caspar due to the young looks of their Professor but was quickly jabbed by Linhardt after his comment about Professor Manuela.
"So deep in thought. Are we, Ferdinand?" Dorothea's silky voice pulled him away to which he shot her a small glare. "No need to glare like a hawk upon it's prey. I was just curious but if that's going to get me lanced th-"
"My apologizes, Dorothea." Ferdinand sighed.
"The apology is taken, little worker bee." The songstress just giggled as she walked to his side, her long beautiful dress dragging behind her as her heels made audible clicks. "I'm still curious, however, what has you so deep in thought?"
He took an audible gulp as he adjusted his cravat, avoiding her piercing green gaze. He wanted to change the subject, he wanted the attention off of him, but yet his mouth and words fought against him. "Truth is, I'm debating on dancing with our professor would be a good or a bad idea." It wasn't the truth but it wasn't a lie either, he was just hoping Dorothea wouldn't pry further or just let the ulterior motives slide. Ferdinand could feel her gaze squint as she took a more relaxed stance in her posture, hands holding in front of her delicately before she just turned on a dime to face the dance floor.
"I suppose you could get away with it, bee." Dorothea smiled. He could see her bright red lips curl up as she pointed to the dance floor, almost lazily, but that glimmer in her eyes told him more than her words. "Oh my, it appears our dear professor has fled the dance floor." That definitely caught his attention; Just as her turned to follow Dorothea's hand, he felt his heart sink as he caught the tail end of her dress sliding across the ground along with the fluttering of her heavy coat. With disappointment in his gaze, he looked up to see Claude panting from exerting himself on the dance floor while Hilda and Lorenz just watched him with a frown. That's when Dorothea kicked up her hints up to eleven by rising her delicate and finely manicured hand up to her chin, "I wonder where our dear professor as run off too." She smirked when she felt Ferdinand's gaze fall on the back of her head, "Hm. Perhaps I could find her at the goddess tower?" Goddess, she really couldn't make it more obvious that she was so desperately trying to make it obvious to other people that she was helping the great Ferdinand von aegir.
With his head hung slightly, Ferdinand chased after their Professor only taking an alternate route to make it seem he wasn't going out of his way to follow her. When he made it outside however, a chill wind bit at him and even caused goosebumps to arrive from under his dance wear; Hurrying along, the young lord had finally made it to the Goddess Tower which sat high above them like the Goddess herself. That's when the fear started to settle back in in the form of shaking hands but he chalked it up to the cold bitter air that nipped at his exposed skin, turning his cheeks a soft shade of pink. If he was cold, he could only imagine that his Professor was freezing. Or, perhaps, maybe not due to her coat. He just shook his head to clear his thoughts before slowly earning the courage to make his way near where his wish had a chance of coming true.
Standing there, her dark hair blowing gently in the wind, was his Professor as she stared off at nothing while taking a deep breath. From how she moved her head, nodding like she was acknowledging something, struck a small amount of fear in Ferdinand's heart as he took a now shaky step near her. He couldn't back out now, "Hello Professor, I didn't expect to see you here. Perhaps our meeting here is fate?" When she turned around, her skin wasn't even flushed from the cold and those familiar empty eyes just stared at him as he approached her.
"I believe it is just a coincidence." Her voice did something to him in that moment. He wasn't sure if it was her words or her tone, but Ferdinand found himself slightly paralyzed from her words. Yes...just a coincidence. "But what are you doing out here yourself, Ferdinand?" Her voice made his heart skip a beat.
"I wished to get away from the ball for a moment." he just laughed off the uncomfortable feeling that built up in his stomach. When Byleth chuckled at his words, agreeing with him before offering him a seat next to her, he couldn't help but let the feeling of fear sink it's claws into his chest. Ferdinand felt strange, he knew some of it was his affection but the other half of it, that part that made his hands shake and his stomach churn? That was the feeling of rejection. If only he were as charming as Claude or perhaps Dorothea, to be able to laugh off fear of love like a joke told by jesters, but alas he was not. No matter how much he wished to speak of himself so highly, to be better than Edelgard, he hated that he was most like inferior to her in this field. "So, Professor-" Her dark eyes moved as she glanced at him and he instantly felt flushed, thankfully the cold was doing a good job at hiding it, "Do you believe in the rumor regarding the Goddess Tower?"
She paused for a moment, as if she were waiting for something, before tilting her head. "The rumor is exactly? I've heard different stories from different people."
That only made him more anxious, "If two people are to meet within the Goddess tower then they are destined to keep their fates intertwined forever or for as long as they both shall live." He was proud of himself for keeping his voice strong. "Perhaps the goddess has decided we are in a shared future together." The moment those words left his mouth, he regretted it with his whole being. Yet Byleth just stared at him, her emotionless face betraying nothing as she turned her head to look away from him as her gaze settled on something off in the distance. Ferdinand didn't want to follow her gaze but yet he didn't want to look at her, he didn't want to hear her words if she spoke, he just wanted to revel in his own embarrassment.
Byleth just hummed before standing up, offering her hand to help him to his feet. Her answer wasn't one of acceptance or rejection and all it did was make his heart drum against his ribcage. Ferdinand had taken her hand and slowly stood to join her, "I hope you have a good night, Ferdinand." Once again, her voice was that familiar kind tone but held no smile or a hint of emotion on her face. His professor was truly a mystery and his mind hated trying to figure it out. "I expect you bright eyed and ready for the mission in the coming week." She'd just waved to him as she walked away, "Goodnight." with that her black dress and coat disappeared from sight.
Staring at his gloved hand, Ferdinand just frowned. "Goodnight, Professor."
When those long five years had finally come to an end and he reunited with his fellow black eagles at Garreg Mach, it would be a lie if he said his heart hand't jumped when he saw Byleth standing once more. After returning to the monastery, he'd planned to invite her to tea, to speak and catch up, but the words wouldn't leave his throat after he saw her speaking with Seteth. Ferdinand had lowered his hand, closing his mouth, as his heart sunk into his stomach as he heard her laughter bust out from the garden as Seteth sat with flushed cheeks while embarrassingly sipping his tea. He wasn't sure why he was so devastated to see her smiling and laughing but he thought about it as he walked away, not caring as his long hair dipped over his shoulders.
Over those five years, he began to loose hope that maybe that they had not been destined together, that maybe he shared a fate with someone else and even began to carry on with his life. Yet, after seeing her mint green hair and he gentle smile after being reunited with her kids (outside of Hubert and Edelgard), he felt that familiar beat in his chest that told him that while he might of accepted fate, his heart never did. Ferdinand had come to terms with himself that what he felt for Byleth was love and that all those years ago, when Dorothea dropped those hints at the dance, she was highly aware of it too before he even fully accepted it himself. But now? Seeing her drink tea with Seteth made something in him...sad. Of course, Byleth could share tea with whoever she wanted and maybe they were having just a friendly conversation.
Maybe he was just getting too into his own head.
There was always time for tea as he would just ask her tomorrow. He would ask her.
Yet, every time he approached her he found himself hesitating as the sound of her laughter popped into his head followed by the flush on Seteth's cheeks.
Today's tea was too bitter, he thought as he gently sipped it. Today wasn't a good day, he wouldn't bother Byleth today. Perhaps...tomorrow.