Chapter Text
The sun was setting on the rural city, leaving the streets emptying rapidly as everyone was heading back to their homes after a day working in the fields. A tall figure was sticking out from the rest of the crowd, walking slowly, lost in his thoughts. Dressed in modest black robes and a wooden flute stuck in his red belt, he was heading into the inn where he had become a regular customer ever since he stepped foot in the small town. He was seldom seen by the other villagers, leaving early in the morning to head to the forest at the edge of the mountain and reappearing only when it got dark to drink himself into oblivion. Words got around that he came here to clear the area of any moving corps or ghost that were still roaming around. These rumours seemed to be supported by the fact that if one were to listen closely, he could hear the distant sound of his flute, a sad and melancholic melody that was carried by the wind for hours every day. However, no one dared to ask him any questions, since many believed that he was the Yiling Patriarch himself. Just the name was enough to scare the villagers, so much that no one even dared to mention it unless it was whispered in someone else’s ear.
This night again, without fail, the young man sat at one of the tables and raised two of his fingers without even looking up to see if the innkeeper was paying attention. Just moments after, two jars of liquor were hastily delivered in front of him. Without bothering for a cup, he grabbed one and emptied half its content in one gulp, spilling some on his chin and clothes but not bothering to wipe any of it away. The silence that had fallen upon the room as he first entered was slowly being filled up with noise again as everyone started to chat away but in hushed tones and glancing to the lone figure from time to time.
It would’ve amused Wei Wuxian in the old days, to know that rumours about him being the Yiling Patriarch frightened everyone he crossed paths with. But he didn’t find a lot of things amusing these days. Had it been three years? Four? He had stopped counting once he realized that what he was waiting for was never going to happen. Still he came here, at least every 4 cycles of a full moon, to play a familiar yet name-less melody with his flute on the mountain top. He was calling out like a fool hoping that this time, just this time, someone would answer. He would answer.
He sighted deeply, lost in thought as he raised the jar once again and emptied its content. He was angry at himself for being still hopeful after all this time. After all, it was Lan Zhan who decided to part ways. Why would he come to look for him again? He scoffed bitterly, lowering his head towards the floor. He fought back frustrated tears. He wouldn’t allow himself to cry, even when he felt the remains of his shattered heart still hurting like the first day when he last saw him.
Still, didn’t he miss him? After everything they went through, after sticking by each other's side even during the worst times, going against their own clans. Shouldn’t he miss him, even if it’s only a fraction of the yearning he himself felt for him?
No, he thought bitterly. No because he doesn’t feel for you what you feel for him. You don’t miss something you don’t want.
Deciding he had enough for the day and preparing himself to spend yet another sleepless night in his small room, he grabbed the remaining jar and was about to stand up as the gossip of a group of villagers sat at the nearest table caught his attention.
“… arranged marriage … at the end of the month … Cloud Recesses …”
He froze mid-motion as he felt his chest tighten and the jar almost slipped through his fingers. Quickly, his brain processed the information and shock made his limbs tremble. An arranged wedding meant that it involved two prestigious families. If the word had been spread out all the way to a small village that was as far as 3 weeks of travels from Gusu, it must be about one of the heirs of the Lan Clan.
As he rose slowly to his feet, seconds seemed to stretch out as he made his way to the table were the group of men was still immersed in their conversation. He grabbed one by the shoulder, making him jump. Everyone went quiet again, having no idea what would happen next.
“Which … which one?”
His voice was wavering as he couldn’t help but stutter while asking the only question that mattered to him. The men first looked at him in shock then at each other as to ask among themselves what he could be talking about.
“Which one of the Two Jades of Lan is getting married?”
He tried to keep his voice calm, but it just came out cold and emotionless. He gritted his teeth, willing to regulate his breathing that was steadily becoming irregular and shallow.
“Ha … Hang … Hanguang-Jun …”
The grip against the man’s shoulder tightened, making him whimper in pain. He let go and stormed out of the inn before he could injure anyone. He ran as fast as he could, until he reached a field outside of the village and let himself fall to his knees. His head was filled with white noise as he let out a gut-wrenching scream directed to the night sky. There’s nothing he could do to stop the tears now, bottom lip trembling as he bawled his hands into fists, drawing blood from his palms were his nails were digging into his skin.
“You fool! You stupid empty-headed fool! You really thought he would come back?! Look at you! Only hurting alone for years when he doesn’t even care about you anymore!”
He screamed his heart out, the moon for only witness. It seemed forever before he seemed to calm down, tears beginning to dry on his skin. He felt empty. He had no idea of what to do. Night-hunting seemed meaningless. Going back to the mountain top seemed even more meaningless and down right stupid. He couldn’t even find a reason for him to get of the ground. So he stayed there, until he could feel the warmth of the rising sun on his face. He took a deep breath, slowly getting back on his feet, knees hurting.
He had a decision to make. He could leave this town and never come back since he had no reason to do so anymore, continuing his hunts elsewhere without ever looking back. With enough time, maybe he could manage to forget all about Hanguang-Jun living a happy married-life. After all he seemed to have moved on the minute he left him on the mountain, so why couldn’t he do the same? He knew the answer to that but dismissed it entirely, the mere thought of his feelings made him want to throw up. He couldn’t believe how delusional he had been for years, hoping that the man felt something for him in return and would come back to him once he realized he couldn’t live without him. He had often dreamed about them reuniting and confessing their love for each other. Now he couldn’t believe how wrong he was.
Yes he could do that, leave and never come back. But another idea seemed to bloom in his mind, like weeds watered by his bitterness intertwining around his aching heart.
Reaching a decision, he turned around and headed back to the inn. As it was still early morning, no one was around to witness him entering his room and getting out again with his meagre possessions, having left a couple of coins on his bed to pay for his stay. Without wasting any time, he started his journey, heading straight for Gusu.