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English
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Published:
2019-09-09
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781
Chapters:
1/1
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59
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Not Like Him

Summary:

Snake is depressed about his own existence, but Otacon can put a smile in his frown.

Notes:

Originally I wrote it in portuguese, then translated. Since english is not my native idiom I apologize for any mistakes here.

Work Text:

Family problems were the basis of any person, shaped from the inevitable flaws of unprepared parents. Perhaps Otacon's family was not so bad when looking at Snake's situation. Being a clone of a super soldier, with a megalomaniac twin brother and an inevitable constant identity crisis. Born with an expiration date, Snake's life would never be preserved by any modern world magic; all he could do was accept his cruel fate.
At least he was still young, he didn't know how long his life would be, which allowed him to live without fear.

Always spending hours in front of a computer, Hal's life was an amounted to a constant loneliness and monotony, but everything changed when he met his dear Dave.

They were living together in a too small an office, they had to keep Philantropy moving, the dirty work was in Snake's hands, while the bureaucratic part fell on Otacon.

It was on one of those rainy days when leaving the house was not an option, that David found himself thinking too much. He was sitting on the floor, away from Hal who continued his work on the computer, looking at the ceiling fan, spinning.

His eyes are hypnotized in that circular movement of the propeller, reminding him of a troubled and strange childhood, he still remembered the sensation he had when he learned that he was a clone, not a son or a brother, but a copy. The inferior copy of a man who sold the world, he didn't know how to feel about it.

He touched his own face, feeling his thin beard against his rough fingers, scratching. His face was identical to that of Big Boss, wondering if his personalities and spirits were also replicas.
Was he who he believed he was? Was he a hero? He felt that he was only an imitation.

In the last months that existential question was hammering his mind like a hurried construction, it was confusing and painful his difficulty to accept himself, at least he had not remained like Liquid, he had not lost consciousness.

- Get out of this! - Hal exclaimed, his voice so familiar, subtle and friendly that made Snake snap out of his sorrow for a moment.

Breaking Snake's trance, the eager eyes behind the thick lenses of a pair of glasses, observed cautiously. Snake had never shown weakness around Otacon, had never shed a tear or looked sad, but now it was different.

His frown was evident, responding negatively to Hal's closeness. He didn't want to open up on that painful subject. He knew Dr. Emmerich for a decade or more, long enough to be read as a book by him, and it had been the method developed to understand what his inexpressive being meant.

- I'm fine. - Snake said, always sounding harsh and cold, it was a typical lie, but refuted by the only tear that flowed from his left eye.

Otacon nodded his head negatively, passing his slender fingers through Snake's dark, messy hair, placing the highlights behind his ear and making his face visible.

- Dave, we need to talk. You can't avoid the subject forever. - Whispered Otacon, always gentle and exaggeratedly withdrawn, with hesitation and apparent fear in his glass eyes.

In response, Snake broke eye contact. For a moment, the sound of rain falling on the roof, infiltrating the alleys and bathing the city in heavenly crying, was all that could be audible.

- Who am I? - It was Solid's question, more for himself than for Otacon, a terrible rhetoric.

Emmerich did not know how to react, it took him bitter seconds to formulate a way to respond.

- A brave man and a hero.

Those words were sincere, true and full of tenderness, but to Snake's ears they didn't seem anything, they were like a cold breeze passing through his mind and giving him chills.

- The same can be said of my father.

The mood became heavier, the word "father" was said with regret and disgust. Silence reigned again. It wasn't the first time Hal had seen that kind of attitude coming from Snake, no matter how hard he tried, it never seemed enough.

Otacon sat down next to Solid, enveloping him in a warm and comforting embrace. His hands caressed the tense muscles in Snake's back. To Hal's surprise, he was reciprocated with an exaggerated squeeze around his thin silhouette, the kind of thing David had needed for a long time.

Snake hid his face on Otacon's shoulder, remaining in that hug for what seemed like an eternity, until he heard what he needed most in his entire life, words from the most docile lips he had ever found;

- You are not your father.