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You placed your bag in the back seat of your car and shut the door. When you glanced up you saw Buffy heading in your direction. She gave you a tight smile and glanced around as she got to your car. “Hey, Buff. Did you want to ride with me to Giles’ place?”
“No, I’m good but I did want to talk to you about that. I just wanted to let you know that you didn’t need to come tonight.”
You shifted your weight on your feet. “Oh, did you guys figure out what it was that ate those kids already?” You’d gone to Sunnydale High along with the rest of the Scooby gang. Unlike the rest of your classmates you chose not to ignore the vampires and everything else that ran rampant in your town. And as it turned out you had a knack for research so they’d kept you around.
Realizing Buffy hadn’t responded and wasn’t looking at you, you tilted your head trying to catch her eye. “Buffy?”
“The thing is, we’ve discussed it and we really don’t need you to help out at all anymore.”
Your stomach dropped. “I’m sorry?”
“Come on, Y/N. You have to admit that you don’t do much. I mean if anything, you get in the way. The only reason we let you stay involved is because you were in the know so to speak. Now that we’re not in high school anymore, it’s time to move on, you know?” She rested a hand on your upper arm and gave it a squeeze before she turned and walked away.
You stared after her, too stunned to stop her or follow her. You had thought…Well, you had thought they were your friends. And you had thought you were helping save people. But if Buffy said you were in the way, apparently you’d been wrong.
You just wished someone had said something sooner. Maybe you could have been less of a bother or just stayed out of the way. Maybe they would have wanted you to stick around.
Maybe you’d still have your friends.
***
Spike leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. The Scoobies were all talking to one another as they waited for Buffy and Y/N to show up. Spike normally didn’t get involved until it was time for the fight, but he’d found himself hanging around more and more lately. Usually he’d end up helping Y/N. At first it was because she seemed to be the only one that could tolerate him. Then it was because he found her fascinating. Truth be told, he had it rather bad for his little bookworm.
Everyone looked up when Buffy stepped into the house but there was no sign of you.
“Hello, Buffy,” Giles greeted. He furrowed his brow when he saw that she was alone. “Where is Y/N?”
She shrugged and pursed her lips. “How should I know?”
Spike pushed himself away from the wall and glowered at the blonde. “What did you do?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she insisted.
“Buffy.” The word was little more than a growl and the others in the room looked between the two of them.
“Seriously, Spike, just drop it. It’s better if she’s not here anyway. She just gets in the way.”
Willow frowned. “That’s not true at all. She’s almost a better researcher than Giles.”
The Englishman in question looked at her over the top of his glasses.
“I said almost,” Willow protested sheepishly.
“Well, we can do that without her.” Everyone turned to look at the Slayer but she wouldn’t meet anyone’s eye.
Spike clenched his fists at his sides. “You petty, spiteful bitch.”
Shouts of “Spike” went up from around the room along with one “Whoa, back off there, buddy” from Xander.
He ignored them all. “What did you say to her? What did you do?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Spike,” Giles said getting his attention. “Explain please.”
“The Slayer here made me an offer I found rather easy to refuse.”
When no one commented, Spike rolled his eyes. “She came onto me and I told her in no uncertain terms that my affections lie elsewhere. Namely with one little bookworm.”
Xander laughed. “You and Y/N? Ha!”
“I mean, Buffy would n-never…” Willow trailed off. “Yeah, never mind.”
Giles sighed and took off his glasses. He pinched the bridge of his nose before slipping them back on. “I suppose someone should um—go find Y/N so we can sort this out.”
Xander hopped up from his spot. “I’ll go.”
Spike turned with a glare. Xander held his hands up and took a step back. “Or Spike. Spike could go.”
***
Someone knocked on the door to your apartment. You thought about ignoring it but you rarely had visitors. The knock came again. You sniffed and wiped the moisture from your cheeks. “Just a minute,” you called. Your head throbbed as you got to your feet.
Why did crying have to give you a headache? As if you weren’t already miserable enough. You opened your door and sucked in a breath as you were greeted by your favorite head of white-blond hair. Spike glanced up as you opened the door and ran his gaze over your face. “You’ve been crying.”
“Thanks for pointing that out, Spike.” You crossed your arms over your chest and looked down at your feet. When he didn’t say anything, you cleared your throat. “What can I do for you?”
“When you didn’t show up tonight, I thought perhaps I better come check on you. You’re the only one I can tolerate. You know that.”
You stepped away from the door, leaving it open behind you so he could follow you in. “I guess you weren’t included in the vote then?”
“Vote?”
You reclaimed your previous seat on the couch and pulled your blanket over your lap. “Yeah. The one where they decided to finally tell me I was only in the way and I wasn’t needed anymore.”
“I swear I’m going to kill that blonde bitch.” Spike’s voice was little more than a snarl and you turned wide eyes in his direction.
“Spike?” you prompted when he didn’t explain on his own.
He sat on the edge of the chair next to you and leaned forward, keeping his gaze on yours as he spoke. “Listen, love, whatever Buffy told you was strictly her opinion. The rest of us didn’t know anything about it.”
“But…” Your brow furrowed. It didn’t make any sense. Buffy had been the one that encouraged you to help out when you’d discovered the truth. And now Spike was saying she was the only one that didn’t want you around?
“I would have come on my own anyway, but you should know that Giles asked me to come get you.”
You considered for a moment then shook your head. “Buffy has an important job. If she feels like I’m in the way, maybe I should just forget the whole thing. If I make things harder on her, I shouldn’t be involved.” As much as it killed you to say it, you meant it. Buffy had to have a reason to not want you around anymore.
“Don’t you dare listen to her, Y/N. She’s pissed she didn’t get what she wanted and she’s taking it out on you. Simple as that. Now, why don’t you get freshened up and I’ll escort you to Giles’ myself.”
Your brow was still furrowed but you nodded your head as you got to your feet. Spike followed you down the hall to your bedroom and leaned in the doorway. His eyes trailed you as you dug through your closet to find a different shirt. Finding something satisfactory, you started to pull off the old shirt only to realize Spike was still watching you.
“Do you mind?”
He grinned. “No. Not at all.”
When you simply continued to stare at him, he chuckled and turned his back toward you.
You switched shirts quickly and ducked into the bathroom to clean your face. Your mind kept running over your conversation with Spike. Once you felt refreshed, you sat the rag to the side, you met Spike’s eyes in the mirror. He’d come over to the bathroom door to watch you while you scrubbed away the remnants of your tears.
“What did she want?”
Spike frowned. “Come again, love?”
“You said Buffy was pissed because she didn’t get what she wanted. What did she want?” It was important to you to know what was so damned important, Buffy would toss you aside in her ire. Not only that, but she was willing to let you think none of your friends wanted you around anymore. The more you thought about it, the angrier you became.
Spike came to stand behind you. He rested his chin on your shoulder and placed his hands on the counter to either side of you. The two of you kept your gazes locked in the mirror. Finally, he smiled, but it didn’t mask the hint of worry you could see shining in his eyes. “Me.”
Your brows shot up. “You?” Your surprise came not only from the fact that Buffy would admit to her feelings but from the fact that she was the only one you’d admitted your feelings for the vampire to. You’d thought her your friend, but if she was coming onto the guy you told her you liked she really wasn’t. The thought didn’t hurt as badly as you’d expected it to.
“Don’t sound so surprised, love. I’m near impossible to resist.”
You chuckled and placed your hands on top of his. Your gaze shifted to watch your fingers intertwine and your heart started to race. “I’m just surprised you didn’t take her up on it.”
“It’s not her I’m interested in.” He said the words softly. His fingers remained intertwined with yours as he moved his arms so they crossed over your stomach. He turned his face into your neck and pressed a soft kiss to your skin.
You sucked in a breath and your gaze darted up to meet his again. You swallowed past the lump in your throat. “It’s not?”
He pulled you gently against him and shook his head. “I’ve found bookworms more my type than slayers it seems.”
Your lips twitched but you managed to keep the smile off your face. You nodded. “That’s probably for the best. Safer that way.”
He flattened one hand against your stomach and moved the other up to rest gently across the front of your neck. His teeth scraped the skin at the side of your throat. “Safe is not necessarily the word I would use.”
You hummed in contentment as your eyes slipped closed and you leaned your head to the side to expose more of your throat to him. His answering moan finally had you allowing yourself to smile. “Have I mentioned I’m crazy about you?”
He stilled behind you. “Since when?”
“Since way before I should have been. You were still firmly in evil villain territory.”
Your eyes flew open as he turned you to face him. His hands framed your face and his eyes searched yours. After a moment, he tilted his head. “You’re serious.”
You slid your hands around his waist to pull him closer to you and pressed your lips to his. His lips slid along yours making you smile again. You leaned back and looked up at him. “Us bookworms have to stick together, William.”
The pure shock on his face pulled a giggle from you.
“How did you—”
You cut him off with another kiss. If his enthusiastic response was any indication, he didn’t mind in the least.