Chapter Text
Lan Wangji was the prime example of a descendant of Gusu Lan. With a strict upbringing and over three-thousands rules ingrained into every single movement of his limbs and extended to his sleeves and robes, stoic poise and pure-white headband perfectly aligned on his forehead, no one would doubt the Light Bearer could be anything but the perfection every Lan generation sought intently after.
But little they knew the raging volcano that hid under those impeccable robes, impossibly void of any spec of dirt or dust; emotions clashing like a rampaging storm inside the cage made of the most carefully carved jade. No Lan was free of the curse that ran through their veins; romance being that unremovable blotch of ink that ruined the immaculate canvas their rules attempted to protect it uselessly against.
The pain he felt every time Wei Wuxian had dismissed him with cold glares and lips that no longer smiled was well deserved. Lan Wangji reaped what he sow, having rejected the countless chances Wei Wuxian had given him to extend his hand and accept the offered friendship during their youth, when his heartfelt laughter and the mischievous call of his given name weren’t as scarce yet.
It was the foolishness and ignorance that years of only knowing and reciting rules day and night that had him deny the confusing feelings that surged within the deepest parts of his being every time that precious voice had reached his ears; an unbeatable force that drew Lan Wangji’s attention towards the source of it all no matter when or where, like a frozen flower seeking the sun that taught it there was more to life than only numbness and ice.
Twice was more than enough for Lan Wangji to know that he’d never be able to convince Wei Wuxian to come back to Gusu with him. No matter what he said, the ever growing mass of resentful energy that gathered inside the man would deem Wei Wuxian deaf to the genuine worry in his voice and blind to the heartache in his eyes each time he warned the other of the damage that such path would inflict should Wei Wuxian insist walking onto it.
“Lan Zhan, you asked me if I intended on staying like this from now on. To be honest, I’d like to ask something as well. What can I do apart from this?”
The other had told him the day a young child had crashed into him, crying his lungs out until the promise of new toys and a sweet meal turned fear into attachment, and the day the expression on the man he loved was the closest to the semblance of his younger, carefree self; the one that with a wide grin and eyes shining with mirth, who offered him a jar of Emperor’s Smile in exchange for his compliance towards the rules broken that night.
“Give up the demonic path? Then what about the people on this mountain? Give them up? I won’t be able to do it. I believe that if you were I, you wouldn’t be able to do it either.”
The words had been free of any distemper. Wei Wuxian spoke stating the truth he believed as a matter of fact, allowing Lan Wangji to have a glimpse on his real thoughts. It had been a stark improvement compared to their bitter exchanges the last few times they had encountered each other, perhaps a reward for his assistance in subduing the frenzied Wen Ning to proper consciousness earlier that day, but the words also served as the acknowledgement of the wall that stood tall between them; one that Lan Wangji himself had helped on building without being fully aware of it until it was too late.
“Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.”
In Wei Wuxian’s ‘nobody’, it had been clear that Lan Wangji was included in it as well. Wei Wuxian didn’t need his help, nor wished for it, much less any advice on the way he chose to live.
The possibility had never been there in the first place.
The revelation inflicted grievous wounds to his whole being, heart shattered into infinite pieces, but it also brought an epiphany to Lan Wangji’s mind as well.
The fondness in Wei Wuxian’s eyes as he bullied the young Wen child had been sincere. The almost filial bickering that went back and forth between the Wen siblings and the former inside his cave, named as ludicrously as Wei Wuxian had named his spiritual sword once in the past, made Lan Wangji aware that there was no place for him in that small world they had built for themselves through enormous hardships and companionship.
Wei Wuxian wanted to protect the Wen remnants, not because it was the right thing to do (even if that had been his initial motivation), but because they had become precious to him. Precious enough that’d he’d continue cultivating the dark path if it meant that he could keep harm away from those he cared for at the disregard of his own life. He had already done so in the past, assisting the Jiang Sect’s current leader as a weapon of mass destruction for vengeance soon fulfilled; a sacrifice that Jiang Wanyin had turned a blind eye to as soon as Wei Wuxian chose to side with the people that were related to the demise of his clan in the first place, no matter if they took no direct part in it.
Lan Wangji concluded, after many sleepless nights and gaze lost between the infinite mantle of mist that surrounded the Cloud Recesses and its neighboring peaks, that there was only one way that would secure the Wen remnants safety without worrying about retaliation from other sects for the foreseeable future as they’d be too busy questioning his sanity instead; one that wouldn’t give Wei Wuxian enough proof to accuse Lan Wangji of meddling with his business. Regardless of the initial apprehension it might probably cause, neither his uncle nor his brother would have a say in his decision; not when even the most obnoxious elder that participated in the clan’s council was growing desperate, as the lack of an heir to the Lan bloodline started to become a constant, apparent worry in their minds. It would take some convincing, but he was sure that he’d win the battle at the end of the day.
Lans only loved once, he knew that very well. But Lan Wangji wouldn’t be like his father, who had selfishly chained his mother into a life of solitude in the confines of that miserable cottage surrounded with gentians, even if he could understand what possibly had pushed his father on doing so back then.
For love, Lan Wangji could do anything. For love, Lan Wangji would be willing to sacrifice his own happiness, if the bleeding in his heart could bring even the slightest bit of solace to the person that claimed ownership of his everything; body and soul, even if it meant to be never reciprocated.
Wei Wuxian wouldn’t be coming back to Gusu with him, nor would he ever know about the excruciating feelings that haunted Lan Wangji each passing second in his existence. But, at the very least, he’d have one burden lifted from his exhausted shoulders; it would push him one step towards what would be his happy ending, or so Lan Wangji hoped. It didn’t matter if Lan Wangji wouldn’t take part in it ultimately; not anymore, as time ran short and it was time to make a decision.
So, the brush in his hands moved with resolution. This would be for Wei Wuxian, but not only for him. This would be also for the elderly and the young that were treated unjustly and looked down into due to their past leader’s mistakes and sins; for that young child that clung to his legs and called him ‘father’ by out of confusion, who held no guilt to the accusations the world was so adamant at throwing towards him and his family.
This, Lan Wangji convinced himself, was the right thing to do.
Days passed, and the cultivation world was once again shaken into utter stupor and agitation at the sudden, shocking news. It was a deafening roar that took several weeks to calm down into ushered murmurs that spewed disbelief no matter how many times they read the official announcement that was, without a doubt, released from the Gusu Lan Sect itself.
Some whispered about forbidden love and pity. Others, about the possible political gain. There were even those who dared to accuse the second young master Lan of promiscuity outside wedlock, claiming there was a child already in tow, only to be shushed by those who knew of the irrefutable righteousness of the man.
The respected Hanguang-jun, one of the Twin Jades that Gusu prided after and one of Lan An’s direct descendants, was to contract marriage with the head of the outcasted fugitives of the ruined Wen sect, Wen Qing, in five month’s time.