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Cas walked slowly into the panic room, rolling up his sleeve.
Touching a human soul was weird even after all of these eons, but he had to be sure Sam’s soul was there.
He stopped dead in his tracks with a worried frown tainting his usual serious expression. Sam was laying there, unconscious. He could perceive a small hint of light coming from him. If what Dean told him about what Death did to Sam was right, then that wall around those dreadful memories won’t hold his demons for too long, because he had seen firsthand what Michael and Lucifer did to Sam inside that cage.
Hell… What an awful place… and he’s been there twice, for both brothers.
He closed his eyes and remembered the first time… when he flew all over the hot flames and the warm blood that flowed like a river under his wings. He recalled his first and most important mission there: Saving Dean Winchester. The brightness of that soul… astonishing. Even already turned into a demonic soul it was so illuminated, he had to torture human souls while fighting jealous demons all around him. And he did it flawlessly, with a grin and those huge black eyes, almost proud. Even then, he thought the human was fascinating.
He took him hard and so fast he never seen him coming. He embraced him from behind and as they flew through the tortured souls around them, through Cas’ dying brothers and sisters fighting alongside with him, and as they rose from the ashes Dean stopped fighting him, stopped trying to free himself from his strong arms. He was so undone. His soul, so weak and corrupted.
And even then it was fascinating how it kept shining like the sun.
And pouring his soul inside his new hand-made rebuilted body was impressive. He felt the need to contact him right away.
And even when Dean was messed up after that experience... He was in way better shape than Sam in that bed.
He remembered that night when he decided to end with Dean’s grief and take advantage of his new powered up grace to take “a trip downstairs” as Dean would say.
He flew for almost 32 days to get to the cage… yeah, time passes completely different in hell. Five days on Earth are nothing like five days down there. Luckily he knew the right path.. Just where he found Dean but deeper. By the time he found Sam he was more like a gooey puddle of skin and melted meat than the man who saved the world.
He had to plan a whole strategy for Lucifer and Michael to distract themselves and retrieve what was left of Sam. It was difficult and he did it all by himself… but he just wanted to see Dean smiling again…
Something went wrong… did he forgot the soul or was it everything so... destroyed , it just slipped away from his hands?
And now it was this dangerous thing supposedly inside of him… how will Sam wake up from that nightmare?
How will Dean deal with this broken version of his brother?
He shook his head and walked the few steps that separated him from Sam who was completely gone, barely breathing.
“Sorry, Sam... if you can hear me… this might hurt” He apologized in advance with a low voice.
Sam’s heartbeat fluttered, almost imperceptible, but Cas could hear it. His breathing fastened... Was that a sign he was listening?
Castiel sighed and placed his hand over the hunter’s stomach… and pushed deep.
Sam suddenly opened his eyes in terror and screamed roughly at the ceiling as Cas dilated with his hand the big hole in his gut.
The Angel dug deeper, meticulously, and felt it… the electricity and the sudden power that only a human soul could give him, but it wasn’t the usual intensity… it was dim and almost imperceptible. He suddenly felt the urge to retrieve his hand, and Sam fell back again in the same position, unconscious and afflicted.
The question was “is Sam’s soul inside of him?” apparently the answer was Yes ... but sticking his hand in there… it felt like swimming in broken glass… or drinking a jar full of lava. At what hi could sense… so much suffering.
That soul was thin and the wall was flexible. The bad memories were trying to escape, squirming intensely.
How is gonna explain Dean the nature of his brother’s soul? When will he ever confess he was the one who brought him back?
Maybe it will be even harder than he thought, but at least this could distract Dean from digging too much into his business with heaven and hell. The civil war he started to protect all of this . All of Sam’s sacrifice for this world, all of Dean’s lost and pain.
Lying…. It ache. But it was necessary. He will do anything to protect humanity from Raphael and his new Apocalyptic plan... now, the destiny of the world was on his hands.
Dean and Sam already sacrificed too much.
He straightened and cracked his neck from side to side, observing for a last second Sam’s weak figure. He felt upset. Why would Dean insist on keeping that broken soul? It was useless and it’ll bring nothing but hurt for the younger hunter.
He sighed, annoyed at Sam’s wounded expression and decided to leave the room.
Cas walked out of the panic room, rolling down his sleeve, and he caught sight of Dean’s stiff arms, crossed around his chest.
“Well?” Dean asked, watching as Castiel walked past him.
“His soul is in place” He said, finally buttoning up his shirt’s sleeve, distracted with a small dry drop of blood on the basement’s floor.
“Is he ever gonna wake up?” Dean hastened to ask, taking a step foward in his direction.
Cas sighed and ventured his eyes to meet Dean’s, but they weren’t looking back at his, they were looking a little bit lower. His lips.
“I’m not a human doctor, Dean” Cas replied with a gulp.
Dean rolled his eyes “Could you take a guess?!”
Castiel huffed, still looking straight into his eyes who still watched his lips “Okay… Probably not” He said, raising an eyebrow.
Dean smiled without a hint of amusement “Oh well, don’t sugarcoat it”
Castiel took a step foward, challenging him “I told you not to put that thing inside of him!”
Dean moved his head back, frowning “That thing ? That’s his soul, Cas! And I couldn’t let Termi-friking-nator to walk around freely and killing innocent people!”
Castiel growled and his eyes pierced on his one more time “Let me tell you what I felt when I touched his soul , Dean… like it was skinned alive ” He said, inches from his face, even more annoyed at the fact that Dean still didn’t look at his eyes, he was still glancing a little bit down “Can you please explain to me why are you looking at my mouth all the time?!” He snapped.
Dean stuttered and licked his lips “I- I… sorry”
Castiel frowned and pushed him against the wall in an animalistic impulse “Is this what you want?” He exclaimed, and without giving the hunter a second to breathe, he pressed his lips hard against Dean’s own, for what it seemed to be an eternity.
When he pulled back, he saw Dean shocked expression, eyes and mouth opened wide in surprise... Was he enjoying it?
They looked at each other for a second and both moved foward again, lips crashing hard, quivering, biting… their heartbeats off the charts… wandering hands inside Castiel’s trenchcoat and Dean’s wrinkled flannel. They moved their tongues in almost perfect synchronicity and all of sudden they were head to toe pressed together. Dean grinding his hips and Cas pressing him against the wall in an impressive display of angelic power.
Why did Meg reacted differently to their kiss in Crowley’s warehouse?
Cas suddenly remembered: Crowley….. the lies, omissions from his side… all of what Dean didn’t know about his plan to defeat Raphael… Purgatory’s souls…
Cas pulled back and observed Dean’s face for the last time. His lips reddened and slightly bleeding from the force of the kiss, Dean’s fingers still digging and lingering on his lower back… the passion in his eyes.
“This is… inappropriate” He whispered by his lips “Sorry Dean” He said, keeping Dean’s pleasured expression on the back of his mind for later.
He took a step backwards and put his wings to work, leaving Dean alone in a roller coaster of feelings, and bleeding lips.