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It was Friday night and the sun was already hanging low in the sky, dragging the reds and oranges and yellows down with it. The evening air was full of cigarette smoke and the bustling sounds of people heading out to their favourite bars. Boys on skateboards whizzed through the streets, music blasting from a boombox, hollering at passing cars. But in the middle of town, in a cozy one-bedroom flat, a very different scene was taking place.
For the Wyld Stallyns, Friday night meant sleepover night. It had been a tradition as long as Bill and Ted could remember, and with the arrival of the princesses, it was obvious to the two boys that they should get to join in the fun too. Every Friday, after a long week of working dead-end jobs and playing killer music, they would gather in the apartment that Bill and Ted shared to just kick back and chill.
The four of them were sprawled across the boys’ bedroom; Bill lying on his bed reading a comic; Ted sitting on the floor leaning up against his bed; Joanna sitting behind him putting his hair in scrunchies; Elizabeth eating warm, buttery popcorn in handfuls. A silence had fallen over the group, a kind of comfortable silence that you can really only achieve if you’ve traveled through time together.
Abruptly, Elizabeth spoke up. “I heard of a fascinating new game last week! We simply must try it out,” she enthused, mouth full of popcorn. Elizabeth had taken to modern culture eagerly, always looking for new, exciting things to try. Joanna shared her enthusiasm, but was content to just sit back and absorb the sudden tidal wave of culture that had smacked the two of them in the face the moment they set foot in their first mall.
“Yeah?” Ted turned his head to look over at her, earning himself a slap on the neck from Joanna for disturbing her work. “What’s this totally magnificent game, then, Liza?”
“It’s called ‘Truth or Dare’. You have to ask each other questions or dare each other to do things, and you have to do them! Isn’t that brilliant?”
Bill snorted from his place on the bed. “Of course it’s brilliant, it’s Truth or Dare! It’s like, the most totally bodacious of party games. We’ve gotta play it, right, Ted?”
“Hell yeah!” yelled Ted, air guitaring as best he could from his position on the floor. (Bill returned it eagerly, his comic flapping in the air). “Jo, are you done with my hair? Obviously I want it to look as savoury as possible, but you gotta be in a circle for Truth or Dare.”
Joanna rolled her eyes, reluctantly putting in one last scrunchie and jumping off the bed to join her sister and Ted on the floor. Bill threw his comic to the side and slid off his bed to complete the circle.
“Okay,” said Elizabeth excitedly. “Who’s going to go first?”
Ted nudged her with his elbow. “Why don’t you, Liz?”
“Fantastic!” The other three couldn’t help but smile at Elizabeth’s enthusiasm. “Hmm, who should I ask? How about… Joanna!”
Slightly apprehensively, Joanna turned towards her. “Don’t make it too hard, Elizabeth.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine! Now… truth or dare, sister?”
“Truth.”
“Excellent! Here’s a question: who do you have a crush on?” The princesses had learned this term recently and were using it at every opportunity.
At the question, Joanna turned a sudden strawberry red. “Wellllll…”
“Jo, our most fantastic bandmate, you can tell us anything,” Ted encouraged.
“You boys are both going to hate me, but… it’s Missy...” She buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.
“WHAT? BOGUS!” yelled Bill and Ted simultaneously.
“No fucking way!” Bill muttered. “First my dad, then Ted’s dad, now you??? What is going on?”
Joanna blushed harder. “I’m sorry! I can’t help it!”
“No, let’s just change the subject!” Ted interjected. “Joanna, it’s your turn to ask.”
“Okay, okay. Ted. Truth or dare.”
“Dare.”
“I dare you to… sing a children’s song as loud as you possibly can!”
And so the game began. It started off tame enough, with your average ‘truth’ questions and pretty relaxed dares. The neighbours had only banged on the wall angrily once, so the group saw that as a success. However, it was when Bill dared Joanna to drink an entire bottle of beer while doing a handstand that things got serious. She only managed half of the bottle before, not being used to the frankly disgusting taste of beer, she had to run to the bathroom and throw all of it up.
Soon, though, Joanna returned, with revenge sparkling in her eyes. Bill’s breath almost caught in his throat at the sight.
“So. Bill. Truth or dare?” asked Joanna as she sat down heavily.
Bill swallowed. “Dare.”
“Ooh, are you sure you want to do that?” teased Joanna. Next to her, Elizabeth giggled.
Bill set his jaw and nodded.
“Okay, Bill. I dare you to make out with Ted.”
Ted choked on his beer. Bill would have fallen over, had he not been sitting down already. Instead, he just swayed slightly on the floor. This was, as the kids say, Not Good.
The reason that this turn of events was Not Good was that Bill S. Preston, Esquire had been having a bit of a crisis recently involving none other than his good friend Ted ‘Theodore’ Logan, the crisis being that he was pretty sure he was hopelessly in love with his best friend. He hadn’t realised it at first, but after he thought that Ted had died and couldn’t even begin to comprehend life without him… well, let’s just say that it became pretty obvious. Bill was surprised that Ted hadn’t noticed anything yet. It’s not like the two boys are famed for their intelligence, but still, the number of times that Bill has had to stop himself gazing longingly at Ted was getting ridiculous now.
So no. He didn’t want to kiss him. Because he was worried about how Ted might react. What if he was totally grossed out and never wanted to see Bill again? Bill doubted that would happen, but what if Ted just wasn’t interested and things became awkward between them? Bill knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that either. So he was content - more or less - to just pine from afar and never have to confront his feelings head-on.
Kissing Ted for the first time during a game of Truth or Dare definitely did not fall into the “pining from afar” category.
“I’m sorry. What?” exclaimed Ted, eyes wide.
“And it has to be properly as well. Not just a few seconds,” Elizabeth added.
Bill’s eyes widened. Had the girls been planning this or something? He glanced toward Ted nervously and realised that the other boy was staring at him openly. Oh fuck. This was happening. He knew that the princesses would never let him get away with not doing it. He decided he would make the most of the situation because it would probably be the only opportunity he would get to do anything like this with Ted.
“I mean…” Bill mumbled. “A dare’s a dare. And it would be non-non-heinous of me to chicken out after what Joanna just did.”
“I suppose you’re right, Bill, my most astute friend,” Ted replied. He shuffled towards Bill slightly, a stray hair that the scrunchies hadn’t been able to capture falling in his face. Bill moved slowly, closing the gap between him and his best friend, and he reached up to brush the hair out of the way.
“Well.”
“Well.”
“Here goes, I suppose,” whispered Bill. He quickly pressed his mouth to Ted’s so as not to lose his nerve.
And he suddenly couldn’t breathe.
Kissing Ted was excellent. It was triumphant. It was unrivaled. His lips were full and chapped, his hand tight on Bill’s waist, his hair soft in Bill’s fingers. Ted moved impossibly closer, pressing his chest against Bill and wrapping an arm around his neck. Bill ran his fingers through Ted’s hair again and again, accidentally pulling out half of the scrunchies but really not giving a single fuck. Although his mind had been buzzing with thoughts in the seconds leading up to the kiss, as soon as he touched Ted, all of them flew out the window. His mind was full of Ted and he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, think about anything else. He wanted to keep kissing Ted until the end of time, and briefly considered talking Rufus into sorting something out.
Then Ted stuck his tongue into Bill’s mouth and he decided that thinking about Rufus at a time like this was definitely not the done thing.
All of a sudden, Ted pulled back and Bill was left gasping for breath. Blinking, he looked up at Ted’s tousled hair and bit back a grin.
Ted was the first to speak. “Where did the princesses go?”
“Huh,” Bill glanced around the room; not a princess in sight. He had been so, uh, preoccupied, that he hadn’t even noticed them leave. “Guess we took longer than they expected.”
Ted giggled at that but fell quickly silent. Bill felt the awkwardness rush through the room like waves and spoke loudly to try and hide it. “Hey, Ted. Truth or dare?”
Ted blinked in surprise at Bill’s words. Bill was mentally crossing all of his fingers that Ted wouldn’t run screaming. “Truth.”
“What… what did you think? About the kiss?” He could barely get the words out.
“Bill, my musical companion, I thought that was absolutely bodacious,” Ted breathed, his face still so close to Bill’s. Bill let out a tiny sigh of relief and he couldn’t stop the smile that grew on his face when Ted said, “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” answered Bill, almost unintelligibly.
Ted leaned in and cupped Bill’s face gently, and Bill melted into the carpet of the bedroom he shared with his best friend. “Kiss me again?”