Work Text:
Makoto has his secrets. At the beginning he felt guilty to not share some things with Haru. He thought that his friend would noticed them but he didn’t, in the same way that he didn’t noticed some things in their childhood.
The sound of the waves was so clear at those moments. He shivered when he felt a wave under his back. He felt a hand grabbing his waist. “Wanna go?” Whispered in his ear. Makoto smiled a little bit before to say he was fine there, in the middle of the nowhere.
Makoto thought in all the secrets that he had kept only for himself until now “Are you here with me or I need go to rescue somewhere?” murmured as long his lips skimmed against his back.
“I’m here with you, Yamazaki-kun” Makoto said with a warm smiled.
“So…what’s wrong then?”
“I was thinking.”
Sosuke didn’t said anything at the begging “Are you regretting?”
“No” Said quickly “I just thought that now I have another secret for Haru.” Makoto looked the way that Sosuke reacted when he listened the name of Haru.
“You don’t have to tell everything to Nanase, Makoto. Especially when you are not sure what are doing.”
“But I know what I’m doing with you” Said with security “But if we are going to include the sexual life I guess in that point I’m not so sure of everything yet, but I’m learning.”
Sosuke laughed hard. Makoto likes the way he smile or laugh even when he didn’t so frequently but he had noticed that Sosuke smiled and laughed more when he was with him and that makes him happy.
“And I’m happy to teach you. You are really good student, actually. I guess I’m not praise you the times you need but I can reward you.”
Makoto kissed him slowly. He loves the way that Sosuke rewards him. At that moment for example they were miles away from iwatobi, where nobody know them and Makoto started to realized he didn’t know him himself but now was starting to understand who he was and what he wanted from the future and what he wanted from the guy who was kissing him.
But even at that moment Makoto has his secrets. Makoto hadn’t told to Haru that maybe the free mantra wasn’t for him and that maybe he wants to leave Iwatobi and be not so free in a big city with other people, with other customs.
He hadn’t told to his family that maybe the Tachibana’s name will survive thanks to the descendent of his little brother and not his own because he was attracted to guys, specially this one who was passing his hand over his chest.
He had a secrets for Gou who was in shock when he had rejected her friend, Chigusa, when she asked him for a date, only because he was so into Sosuke right now and had to lie Chigusa and Gou telling them that he was so focus in the exams and for the future that he didn’t wanted a relationship.
Makoto even had secrets for Nagisa and Rei who were covering him with his parents and Haru, without questions of what he was planning to do that weekend. He wasn’t being capable of tell them about Sosuke.
People often told him that he looked like an honest, sincere and transparent guy for him he wasn’t like that. He has his secrets even when he didn’t want it.
The best example was the secrets he has for Sosuke. Everytime he asked him with he didn't call him just by his name Makoto always made a elaborate lie instead of just telling him that he continue called him Yamazaki-kun because he thought that if he said “Sosuke” loudly will not be return. He didn’t want to tell him that for him that maybe is friendship wasn’t enough for him right now and maybe he feels more than just attrack to him. Maybe an “I like you” was more realist. He didn’t want to tell Sosuke that in his ideal dream of become an adult include him as essential part of the plan.
Makoto continue keep just for himself the thought that what most liked about Sosuke were his eyes because they weren’t just blue or green and that fucking precious smile that makes him feel like an idiot. Also he hadn’t told to Yamazaki of the night that he had found him in the beach that night he was remembering about those dark days of his childhood and that in that moment he wished for someone capable to make him back to reality.
He wasn’t brave enough to tell him that his life had improved since he was in his life and everything at those moments was so bright and he never felt so free and he just continue telling him that it was nice have another friend besides Haru and the others. Maybe if he have the courage of telling him that right now…
“You…need to stop thinking right now, Makoto” Murmured Sosuke against his lips. “It’s distracting me.”
“Maybe I would need some help in that too.”
“It’s always my pleasure helping you.” Said before his hand went straight down.
Makoto just moaned before put aside all those thoughts. Maybe Sosuke was right and the best was continue keeping those secrets until the moment he were prepared to affront all those emotions. For that moment the emotions that Sosuke gave him were enough.