Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Marinette was not only on time for once, but actually early. She allowed herself the luxury of a slow pace as she nibbled at a buttery croissant, still warm from the oven, savoring each flakey bite. Croissants never got old – even when you lived in a bakery. Despite arriving on time, she was still one of the last ones to make it to the classroom. Only Adrien and Ivan had yet to show up.

“Hey Marinette!” Nino greeted from his normal seat.

“Morning Nino! What is Alya doing?” she asked, eyeing her best friend who was on the other side of the room talking to Max and Kim with her nose buried in her notebook as she took notes of whatever they were saying.

“A superhero survey,” Nino explained.

“A what now?” She asked, taking her usual seat.

“She’s asking everyone who their favorite hero is for the Ladyblog.”

Marinette pushed the last piece of pastry into her mouth, wishing she had thought to grab another one. Two had seemed like plenty at the time, but the truth was however many she had, she always wanted just one more.

Alya came down from the back of the room and slid into her seat beside Marinette.

“What’s the verdict of the class, babe?” Nino asked, leaning forward to glance at her tally.

“Five for Ladybug, three for Chat Noir, two votes for Queen Bee and one for Rena Rouge!”

“Let me guess. Chloe and Sabrina for Queen Bee?” Marinette interjected dryly.

“I keep survey responses confidential,” Alya quipped, as she scribbled out her totals in the margin.

“Actually, Chloe voted for Ladybug,” Nino shared.

“Nino!” Alya objected. “I keep survey responses confidential!” Nino and Marinette both ignored her.

“Huh. I guess that makes sense,” Marinette agreed. She really wondered if Chloe would feel the same way if she knew who her heroine was under the mask. “Who’d you vote for, Nino?”

“Rena Rouge,” his eyes darted towards his girlfriend for just a second. He was not subtle.

Marinette’s lips pulled up into a smirk. “I’m sensing a celebrity crush!” she teased.

“Yeah. So what?” he shrugged, but the red in his ears gave him away.

“Careful! Your actual girlfriend might get jealous.” Alya teased, her eyes dancing in merriment. over a smug smirk.

If anything, Nino’s blush deepened.

Alya spared him, and turned her attention to Marinette. “So… Marinette, who do you think is Paris’s best superhero and why?”

Marinette stared up at the ceiling. “I…”

Adrien’s bag thumped onto the table and both girls’ gaze snapped upwards at the sudden noise.

“Adrien! Who’s the best superhero?” Alya asked without greeting.

“Ladybug,” the blond responded immediately, like he didn’t have to think about it at all.

Marinette rolled her eyes, even as she blushed. “So cliché,” she mumbled.

“You have a different opinion, Marinette?” Alya’s hazel eyes swiveled towards her, wide with expectation.

“Yeah, Ladybug would be nothing without Chat Noir,” she asserted.

Adrien snorted. “Oh please! Half the time he gets turned against her!”

His dismissal of her partner in crime irritated her more than she expected.

“Because she’s clumsy!” she countered. “And he has to take hits for her.”

“Ladybug is not clumsy!”

“She most certainly is!” Marinette snapped back, not remotely intimidated by his heated glare.

“You guys need to chill!” Alya interjected, eyeing them both in surprise. Her lips turned down in a slight disapproving frown.

That was objectively good advice. Marinette knew it. She could even picture Tikki, eyes wide from the bottom of her purse, her lower lip trembling, begging her to listen. She should stop now while she was ahead. Her teeth clamped down on her fingernails. She shouldn’t say anything.

But her kitty’s honor was as stake.

She whipped out her phone and immediately pulled up the Ladyblog. From the archive, she loaded a video and shoved it in Adrien’s face.

“Watch! See here! Ladybug is going to trip over air, and when she stumbles, Chat’s right there preventing disaster!”

“This doesn’t count!” Adrien shoved the phone back to her before the video had even gotten to the relevant point. “This was so long ago. She’s improved a lot since then.”

“But so have the villains! I’m telling you, without Chat Noir, Hawkmoth would have won ages ago!”

“Absolutely no way!” the normally polite blond shouted. “Ladybug always finds a way to succeed even when backed into a corner.”

The debate became less calm and civil with every word exchanged. She didn’t consciously remember jumping out of her seat. But now she and Adrien were both standing close enough to share spit droplets that impassioned arguments sent flying. Her body was shaking in agitation as she stared down her opponent.

“It’s Ladybug that does all the saving! She’s the one that finds creative solutions, that cleanses the akuma, that repairs the damage! Chat Noir is a sidekick at best!” Adrien shouted.

“Sidekick?!” she repeated in rage. Marinette clenched her fists to prevent herself from attacking him. She wanted to strangle him in that moment, crush or no crush! Sidekick?! He didn’t understand anything! “Chat Noir protects Ladybug so that she can do those things, he figures out her plans with only two words of explanation. Hell, he’s died to make sure Paris is healed!” Marinette countered hotly.

A bomb of silence exploded across the classroom with that pronouncement. A moment before she had been too absorbed in the fight to notice anyone other than Adrien, but now she could feel all the eyes on her. Her skin was crawling, but she jutted her chin out stubbornly, refusing to give any ground.

“What are you talking about, dude?” Nino broke the silence. “Chat Noir is fine. Someone saw him on Patrol last night. It was on the Ladyblog.”

Horror bubbled from the pit of her stomach as she realized her mistake. She wanted to throw up.

“Y-Yeah! Chat Noir is totally fine! Always has been!” she broke off into nervous laughter. “He certainly did not die in Ladybug’s arms during Timebreaker.”

What was she doing?

“He didn’t sacrifice himself to the Gamer or take a fatal wound from Miraculer!”

She needed to stop talking. Right now.

“Yup!” she finished, popping the p. “Chat Noir’s definitely totally and completely fine! Fine as in healthy. Mentally and physically! Not fine as in handsome. Though he definitely is that too! Objectively attractive, that is.”

She dropped her face into her hands in hopes that no one could see her flaming face.

Alya was already patting her back. “It’s okay girl. We get it. Why don’t you come back to your seat and just calm down?”

Marinette peeked through her fingers and glanced across the classroom. Alya looked patiently amused. Chloe wasn’t looking at her at all – her attention on her nails. Nino, Alix, and Mylene all gave her sweet affectionate and reassuring smiles.

She let her hands fall to her sides. It was okay. It was fine. Alya, Nino, nor Chloe seemed to react to the comment on Miraculer even though they had all been there! She tried not to be irritated. This was good! Her rambling comments were just dismissed. This was just Marinette being… well, Marinette!

Her eyes landed on Adrien who stood before her as still as his wax model – his emerald-green eyes were overblown and his mouth hung wide open.

“Are you okay, Adrien?” she asked him.

His jaw snapped shut and he managed to nod dumbly, before Madam Bustier entered and they all scrambled to their seats. Class progressed as normal. Well, almost normal. Adrien kept twisting around in his seat to look at her. Heat pooled in her cheeks at the unexpected attention. She tried to hide behind her notebook, but each time she risked pulling her cover down, swirling green eyes over puzzled eyebrows froze her in place all over again.

“Adrien, the lesson is up here,” Ms. Bustier gently reminded him.

“Uh… Yes, Ms. Bustier. Sorry, for getting distracted.” His hand rubbed at the back of his neck nervously.

He didn’t turn around again and Marinette rediscovered what it felt like to be able to breathe easily. Her relief was short-lived. At the end of class, Adrien whirled around to face her almost the instant before the bell rang.

“Uh… Marinette?”

She attempted to make eye contact, but she couldn’t hold it. Not the way he was looking at her just now. She didn’t know what it meant or what he was feeling, but it was too much. “Y-Yeah?” She cursed the return of her stammer.

He glanced around the room as if to see if anyone was paying attention. But everyone was focused on stowing away their belongings and leaving for their next class.. He leaned in really close – their noses were only centimeters apart.

She forgot how to breathe again.

“Chat Noir didn’t die for Paris,” he whispered.

Marinette pulled away with gritted teeth, her hands balling into fists once again. She couldn’t let herself back into the debate less she slip again. And she really didn’t want to be mad at him. Adrien was allowed to like Ladybug! Hell, she should be flattered that he liked Ladybug, but he was wrong about Chat Noir!

“Chat Noir died for Ladybug,” he added. His words were so calm, so serious.

All the fight within her evaporated, as she stared at him with her eyes blown wide. How would he know that?

Unless… unless…

“Chat Noir would sacrifice anything for Ladybug. She’s the most important person in his life. The moments spent with her are his favorite.”

Now she really couldn’t breathe. Her brain had turned to mush, her thoughts and feelings were total entropy, chaos – spinning too fast to grasp onto anything. But something big had just happened. She had all the pieces. They just needed to…

…Snap together.

No way!

“Just like moments spent with you are some of my favorite,” he finished. Only his voice seemed so far away, and the world was collapsing in on her chest.

Was he smiling? How had he gotten so far away?

“Earth to Marinette!” Alya called from her left. “Why aren’t you packing up your stuff?”

Marinette couldn’t respond - she couldn’t even turn her head away from the blond boy in front of her.

“Adrien! What did you do to my girl?! I think she’s broken.”

He laughed. Like genuinely laughed. Not the polite sweet laugh she associated with Adrien. It was a full belly roll. It was Chat’s laugh. He looked at her again with a small smile.

She wanted to return the gesture. But her mind was catching up to her and she still couldn’t breathe! She had pushed Adrien off a building. She had refused Adrien’s confessions. She had kissed Adrien!

His smile evaporated, and just like that he was at her side again.

“Are you disappointed?”

She shook her head rapidly.

“Are you panicking?” he guessed.

And then she nodded.

He offered his hand. She clung to it like it was a life line.

“It’s okay my lady,” he whispered. “I’m right here.”

She focused on his voice, suddenly more familiar than she had ever realized. Her eyes drank in the curve of his jawline and the upturn of his lips. The feel of his hand in her own – his ungloved bare hand – his smooth flawless model skin against her calluses caused by years of poking herself with needles. This was Chat Noir without his gloves on. His overshirt was white. She giggled hysterically. Chat Noir was wearing white! She pressed her nose to his shirt and breathed in, only to be greeted with the faint scent of camembert. That was for Plagg, she realized. This was her partner. The man she trusted with her life.

She could breathe again. She felt more grounded in that moment than she had in years.

“It’s you,” she whispered.

His smile rivaled the sun in its brightness. “At your service, princess.”

Tears sprang from her eyes like water released from a dam. She launched her arms around him. “Oh my god!” she exclaimed through delighted giggles. “It’s you!”

“You already said that,” he commented softly.

She flicked him at the throat where his bell would have been before seizing him in another hug, delighting in how well his form fit against her own despite their differences in height.

“So, you understand now?” she finally asked, pulling back so she could better see his face. Their hands remained joined. When had they started holding hands?

“Understand what?” Adrien repeated, his green eyes glowing like star light as he drank in the sight of her.

“That Ladybug is nothing without Chat Noir,” she finished in a whisper.

“Not a chance!” Adrien exclaimed, barking out another genuine laugh - a Chat Noir laugh. That was his true laugh.

“I stand by everything that I said more than ever, Nette!” he said, his thumb caressed the back of hers.

She blushed at the new nickname, recognizing it as an abbreviation of Buginette and Marinette both.

“But!” she tried to interject.

He pulled her into another hug. “But I’m sure Chat Noir appreciates that he is needed.”

“He had better!” Marinette growled, even as she let herself melt into his arms.

“What is happening right now?” Alya interjected from behind her phone. She was clearly taking pictures, or maybe, recording a video. “Explain. Now.”

Adrien and Marinette both glanced at Alya, then shared a look with each other, before turning back to Alya.

“No,” they both said simultaneously. Marinette let Adrien lead her gently from the classroom hand in hand.

“Nino! What just happened?” Alya exclaimed behind them.

“No idea babe, but I think your ship might be sailing?”

“Maybe both of them,” Marinette whispered, letting her head fall onto her partner’s arm, no longer feeling remotely nervous around him.

…

Chapter Text

Adrien could not stay focused. His skin itched in agitation and he kept fidgeting in his seat, glancing backwards forlornly at the vacant desk behind him. He tried again and again to find a comfortable position or at least force himself to follow the text Ms. Bustier was reading aloud, but it was a lost cause.

Marinette was still absent. This was the third day. 

He missed her. Class wasn’t the same without her soft whispers to Alya behind him or her tendency to make word salad whenever he looked in her direction. Her presence made him smile. Made him feel warm. Made him feel safe. 

And clearly he couldn’t function properly while filled up to the brim with anxious worry. 

He had asked Alya about Marinette twice in the last two days. The first day she had shrugged, as mystified as him. On the second day, she had smirked, her honey brown eyes twinkling in amusement. 

“If you’re so worried, Sunshine, you should text her yourself.”

He had blushed and turned back around, determined to get his chemistry work done. He fought with his brain for an hour and then his worry overcame his embarrassment, and he had texted.

She had never responded. 

He had planned to ask Alya again before class, but she had arrived uncharacteristically late. He hoped that meant she had checked in on Marinette. 

He turned to Alya the second the bell signaled the end of class. “Have you heard from Marinette yet?”

Alya winced. “She’s really sick apparently. She caught the flu that’s been going around. She can’t get out of bed without hurling. Sabine warned me to stay away for my own protection.”

Adrien sighed. First, Ladybug had asked him to take over her patrols because she was ill, and now, Marinette hadn’t made it to class the whole week! This flu was beyond cruel in its choice of victims. Adrien could not think of two people less deserving of the sickness’s wrath. 

He knew he had no way of visiting Ladybug, but perhaps he could swing by Marinette’s. 

He shook his head at himself. Sabine was probably right. It was better to stay away. With Ladybug out of commission, he couldn’t afford to get sick himself. Hawkmoth might have been quiet the last few days, but he couldn’t count on that to last. And he had to be prepared to fight alone.

That conclusion was easy to reach. It was rational and pragmatic. It’s what Ladybug would have advised him to do, but when his normal patrol route brought him just two rooftops away from Marinette’s balcony, he could not resist peeking in on her. 

Her form lay curled up in the fetal position surrounded by a nest of pillows and blankets. She was asleep, but even unconscious her looked pale and waxy. He pulled back from the little round window feeling guilty for invading her privacy and witnessing her in this moment of weakness. He wished he could do something to help her feel better. 

He was about to vault away when his eyes landed on the terrace garden filled with potted plants. The normally vibrant green leaves were drooping down as if they, too, were mourning the lack of Marinette's presence in their daily life. Upon closer inspection, Chat Noir discovered crumbly and dry soil in each pot. He knew almost nothing about taking care of plants. Gardening was something his father would hire someone for. But the heir to the Agreste fortune did at least know they needed water.

He clapped his hands together with a grin. This was something he could do. 

It didn’t take long to find her watering can and fill it up at the nozzle located on the lowest part of the wall in the balcony’s corner. He added small amounts of water to each clay pot, only then noticing that each home was carefully hand painted with flowers and vines or little hearts and stars. His favorite pot showed off little black kittens chasing flying ladybugs. 

Marinette really was amazingly talented.

She also tended to a huge variety of plant life. She had herbs, vines, grass-like stalks, and he knew from experience that there should have been flowering buds, but they were sealed tightly closed refusing to flaunt their bright colors for all the birds and bugs to see. He knew that gardening was difficult and that each plant probably needed something slightly different.

He glanced back through Marinette’s round window, to her very still form on the bed. He had never seen her so still. Who knew when she would be able to make it out here again. 

After he was finished watering, he cut his patrol short and headed straight home. Chat Noir had research to do. 

It turned out that potted plants needed fertilizer or some kind of plant food to reintroduce nutrients into their soil. But different varieties needed it with varying amounts and frequencies. He didn’t know all the plants Marinette had, but he supposed the next day he would have to take pictures of each one and come home to identify them so he would be able to find more specific care instructions.

It did seem that most plants did well with water in the morning and/or evening because in the middle of the day the wet leaves could fry in the hottest part of the day. And apparently, over watering was a danger as well. 

And some plants needed regular pruning. 

He glanced through his schedule. If he got up an hour earlier than Nathalie’s scheduled wake up call, he would have time to take pictures of and water all of Marinette’s plants and be back in his room with ten minutes to spare.

Then, he could spend all of his free period with the pictures identifying what they were and put specific care instructions for each one in a document that he could send to his staff and refer to whenever he needed to. 

Quickly stopping by Marinette’s as Chat Noir in the morning and evening had quickly become part of his routine. His secret gardening consoled some restless part of his soul. He was able to peek in on her and feel like he was helping in some small way. 

He could even focus in class again. In fact, he had to be insanely efficient with his time in order to complete his homework, fill his modeling obligations, go on a daily patrol, and stop by his favorite balcony. Somehow, he pulled it all off smoothly each and every day, and the twice daily stops were quickly becoming his favorite parts of his routine.

It was peaceful and colorful now that the flowers were willing to show their petals again. He had long since stopped feeling self conscious amongst the plants. He talked and sang to them. His research had said that also would help them. 

Really he shouldn’t have been surprised when she caught him on the fourth day. 

“Kitty? What are you doing out there?” 

Startled at her sudden presence, he dropped the cap full of miracle grow onto the ground with a curse. The green liquid spread out across the deck, seeping into the panels of stained wood. He looked around rapidly for some kind of towel to soak it up. He knew the stuff was toxic to many birds and he wouldn’t want them to get sick because of his carelessness.

“Uh, hey there, princess!” He greeted distractedly as he mopped up his spill. “Are you feeling better?”

He glanced up at her then and smiled. Her eyes shined with their usual vibrant blue, and she had just a hint of color in her cheeks. In short, she looked healthy again, and he could not be more relieved. 

“Loads,” she answered with a friendly smile. “I might even be able to make it back to school on Monday. Were you watering my plants?”

His gloved hand flew unconsciously to the back of his neck. “Uh yeah. Watering.” He pointed to the plant he had just given the plant food. “And the Internet said that this one needed fertilizer every other day and yesterday, I pruned this one because it was looking crowded. I hope you don’t mind. I heard you were sick and when I was passing by on patrol I noticed the plants were looking a little dry. And I thought it would be such a shame if your garden took a hit just because you were ill. I know you love it up here.”

He eyed her warily trying to gauge her reaction. She wouldn’t feel irritated at him invading her space, would she? His form loosened in relief when she only smiled again.

“That was really thoughtful Chat Noir,” she said, as she took a seat on one of the balcony’s chairs. “Thank you. I didn’t realIze you gardened.”

Heat rose to his face. “I don’t really. Never done it before this week actually.” 

“But then, how did you know about the pruning and the fertilizer?” 

“I… uh. I kinda looked it up?” he admitted, jumping into the seat behind her to hide his embarrassment. “I really just looked up how much water to give, but then it gave different directions for different plants, so I had to come back and take pictures of each one, so I could look up directions for each one.”

“Y-you t-took the time to identify each plant?!” she repeated, her eyes blown wide, staring at him in surprise. 

“Well, I didn’t want to do it wrong and then ruin the garden I was trying to save for you,” he said.

“Th-that’s… you… that was so yind of kew. I mean! Kind! I meant kind of y-you. Y-you definitely didn’t h-have t-to do that.” 

The teenaged hero frowned at her stutter. She only stuttered around Adrien.

“You okay princess? Maybe you should go lie back down.”

“Y-yeah, you’re nice… I mean, right. You’re right. I should back lie… I mean lie back down.”

Chat hovered behind her ready to catch her should she stumble or fall. Watching her go down the ladder was the worst, but she made it without the slightest sway and cooperatively climbed back into her bed. He brought up the blankets to cover her and she gathered them in a cocoon around her. 

“W-will you come back tomorrow?” she asked with pleading eyes. “J-just time one… one time.”

“Anything for you, princess.” He winked as he leapt agilely up the ladder and back into the balcony. 

He bounded away towards home, trying to puzzle out her new behavior. Had he done something to offend her? Perhaps she thought it was creepy that he was right outside her bedroom window every day, twice a day. He really hadn’t thought this through at all. 

He tried to ease the anxious mental spiral. He was probably overthinking this. She was sick after all. That was probably why she was stuttering.

He came back the next morning, and she had croissants fresh from the oven and steaming tea ready for him. She had already taken care of the plants. He tried not to be disappointed by this fact. He had enjoyed tending to the delicate life forms. It was nice to work at creating something for a change.

“These are amazing,” he gushed, after taking his first bite. Really the buttery confections never got old, especially when he was hardly allowed simple carbs. “My compliments to the baker! You really didn’t have to feed me though you know.”

“I w-wanted to say thank you,” she stammered, her face blushing in red.

“You look so much better with color in your cheeks,” he told her thoughtlessly. But he really had been worried about her. 

Her eyes turned away as her cheeks somehow became even redder. “I r-really meel fuch better!” She managed. “Much better!! Gah!” her face fell into her hands in embarrassment. 

This was way too familiar. This was how she acted around Adrien all the time. His mind spiraled into the worst possible explanation and he felt the blood drain from his face. He dropped the croissant, that was now forgotten in his lap.

“How did you figure it out?” he made himself ask. 

“F-figure what?”

He leaned forward and took her hands in his own. “You can’t tell anyone,” he beseeched. “Please, Marinette.” He pulled back again, and dragged his hands through his hair. “God, Ladybug’s going to kill me.”

“Chat calm down,” Marinette urged, her delicate fingers rested hesitantly on his shoulder trying to reassure him. “It’s okay. I would never tell anyone anything if you don’t want me to.”

His eyes flew back to hers and he felt a bit calmer in her gentle blue gaze. Marinette was trustworthy. He knew that better than anyone. “I hope you’re not mad at me.”

“W-why would I be mad?”

“Sometimes it just seemed so two faced to come here as Chat because you treated me so differently as Adrien.”

She stumbled backwards and fell over the chair. He rushed over to her and helped her up. 

“W-what?!” Her scream was shrill. “You’re Adrien?!” 

Once they were both standing steadily she hit his arm. Hard. 

“You stupid cat! Why would you tell me that?!” Her stutter had vanished, he noted. And she was angry. Very angry.

The air rushed out of his lungs and he blinked at her as her words registered. “I thought you knew?”

Now, Ladybug was really going to kill him. It was bad enough when he thought that Marinette had him figured out, but she hadn’t. He had just blurted it out like an idiot. 

“Based on what?” she demanded. 

“You’ve always been awkward around me as Adrien. But you’re so sassy and confident around everyone else. Even Chat Noir! Maybe especially Chat Noir. But when you started mixing up your words around Chat the same way you do sometimes around Adrien, I figured that you had me pegged.”

She looked like she had been hit by a train. She just stared at him.

“You literally only treat Adrien that way,” he added, mostly to break the silence.

“That’s not... I don’t...” she spluttered.

“If you hadn’t figured it out, why did you start treating Chat Noir differently?” he asked. “You don’t like him either? Has he done something wrong?”

“You think that I don’t like you?” she whispered. Her voice sounded so small, so far away.

He winced. “I mean, not exactly! You just seem so nervous a lot of the time. Am I that frightening or intimidating?” He was started to panic down another spiral. That he realized it didn’t help him at all.

… 

Marinette could see that he was freaking out. Adrien was standing there in front of her, only he was Chat Noir. And she wanted to process that. She needed to. But she couldn’t. He was hurt. And she had put that hurt there. 

Before anything else, she had to fix that. 

Marinette took a breath, stepped forward, and gently enclosed his clawed hand into her own, trying to communicate what she’d never been able to put into words. 

His green eyes swivelled back to her, swimming in confusion, begging her to explain. Because he still didn’t understand. 

“I... I...” she stammered. She inwardly cursed her inability to communicate with him. 

This time, he squeezed her hand. And she drew courage from that. This wasn’t just Adrien. This was Chat Noir, and yes, she had just figured out that she loved him as his superhero self and that made her nervous. But he was her partner. She trusted him more than anyone else on the whole planet. He had proven time again that he would protect her life. Maybe it was time to let him protect her heart as well.

And however this is going to go, he would be gentle with her.

“Adrien has made me nervous for a long time,” she admitted staring down into their clasped hands. Somehow it was easier talking about him in third person even though she knew she was talking to him. “It’s not because he’s scary or famous or that I don’t like him... quite the opposite in fact...”

She glanced up, the green sclera opened beseechingly. He waited with so much patience. 

“I’ve always stuttered or mixed up my words around Adrien because... I was...” she licked her lips, fidgeted from one foot to the other, and glanced up at his face again. “...in love with him.” She rushed the words out. Part of her felt more anxious than ever. But she also felt lighter, freer.

“I always behave that way around boys that I like...” she admitted, and looked down again as heat bloomed in her face and neck. 

She glanced up again. Chat... no, Adrien looked like he had swallowed a melon whole. His eyes were wide, his grip on her hands tightened, and she was no longer certain he was even breathing.

“Please say something,” she begged, wringing her hand even though he still held it.

“You... you love Adrien?” He whispered.

“That’s what I said.”

“And-and you started mixing up your words around Chat because... you like him too?”

She nodded, her cheeks burned hotter than before.

“You fell for both of me?” It was like he couldn’t believe it.

And then, his eyes watered.

“Please don’t cry kitty,” she begged, wiping a fallen tear from his black mask. She had never seen him cry before in either persona. She didn’t know what to do.

He pulled her into a hard hug, his arms swept around her and he pressed her form into the hard leather of his catsuit. Soon, he was balling into her shoulder. 

Marinette let herself melt into his embrace, tracing soothing patterns onto his back. She was still unsure how he felt about her confession, but she was determined to be there for him.

He finally quieted, and with one last comforting squeeze, he pulled away. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I’m crying. I’m so embarrassed.”

“It’s okay,” she soothed. 

“You’re just so amazing, Marinette. I don’t know that I could ever deserve you. I don’t know what someone like you could ever see in someone like me. And that you do see something in both sides of me, that means a lot to me. You are so kind. You have no idea how much I admire you!”

Marinette felt like she might break from the growing tension - like a violin string pulled too tight - ready to snap. Listening to him gush was amazing, but she still couldn’t tell if he was letting her down easy or preparing for their wedding.

The silence grew and Marinette couldn’t take it.

“So... does that mean?” she prompted.

“Would you like to go on a date?” he blurted.

And just like that, the tension eased as if it had never been. And she started giggling.

“I would love that kitty. What did you have in mind?”

“Umm... is it okay if it’s a surprise?”

She rolled her eyes. “Sure, but don’t go too crazy A-Adrien.”

“You called me Adrien,” he said gleefully.

“I-I did.”

“Plagg, claws in.”

And there he was standing in front of her, his white overshirt over his usual black t-shirt. His face bare and without a mask was as familiar as her partner’s. Her nerves exploded again, and she couldn’t speak. 

“You still okay?” He asked with a small smile that spoke with the gentleness of a butterfly’s wing.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. He glanced at her lips. “M-may I kiss you?”

She nodded and just before their lips touched, her eyes landed on Plagg. Who floated ominously over Adrien’s shoulder with a cold glower directed right at her. And she understood. This was unfair.

She stopped him with a hand to the chest. “No wait!”

“Something wrong princess?”

She closed her eyes, and drew in a deep breath. Apparently, the call for bravery was not over. 

“Before you kiss me,” she began, drawing comfort from the hand that remained on his chest. “Before you agree to date me or be my b-boyfriend.” Could it be any hotter up here?! “I h-have to tell you something.”

He pulled back and waited. But she didn’t speak. “Whatever it is, I’m sure that...”

“Please, let me say this,” she begged. “You need to know! Plus, Plagg may cataclysm me in my sleep if I don’t come clean.”

“Plagg?” Adrien repeated in confusion, turning towards the floating Kwami of destruction. “How do you know Plagg?”

She sighed. “We’ve met. A few times actually. He uh... he helped me defeat Style Queen when you lost…” she trailed off. Adrien had been Style Queen’s first victim. Of course, Chat Noir hadn’t been so irresponsible as to lose his miraculous. “No, when you had turned into a statue. And during Sandboy we collaborated a plan together.”

“Plagg helped... you.” He repeated slowly. He licked his lips. “He helped you... defeat Style Queen.”

He was staring at her in shock and for once she held his gaze. She had to.

“M’Lady?”

She nodded.

“Really?!” He was grinning like a cat who had fallen into a vat of cream. He picked her up by the waist and twirled her around. “This is perfect!” He laughed, his mirth spilling over into the very air around them.

“It is?” she asked, not quite sharing in his joy. “You’re not mad at all those times I rejected you for... well, you?”

“Marinette, I did the same thing to you when you confessed to me as Chat Noir.”

“I mean, it’s not the same thing! I confessed under false pretenses. You’re not mad about that either?”

“Wait! False pretenses?” He froze and considered her for a moment. She tried not to fidget in his green eyed gaze as he put the pieces together. “I almost stumbled onto your identity that day… you didn’t love me.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t admit it, no.” 

“You did it to distract me.”

“Yeah…”

He looked away, lost in the memory. “I was so excited that day. That was the first time I had received a genuine confession.” 

“A-are you mad?” she asked, anxiously pulling at her sleeve’s hem. 

He just grinned and shook his head. “I might have been at some point. Now, it seems kinda funny.” 

He broke into giggles and she did too. 

“Too bad you didn’t figure it out,” she managed between giggles. “Maybe we could have saved ourselves months of chasing each other’s tails.” 

“Goodness, we are so stupid,” he drawled out.

“Blind,” she corrected with a soft smile. 

“What?” 

“You were never stupid. Tikki says love is blind.”

TIkki flew out at that exact moment. “Hello Adrien, it’s nice to see you again under better circumstances.” 

He smiled at the red kwami. “Likewise,” he agreed, with a small nod. Then he turned back to Marinette. 

“So... can I kiss you now? We have Kwami approval?” Tikki looked pleased and Plagg shrugged as if to say “if you must”.

“M’lady?”

She nodded.

His lips pressed into hers. And it wasn’t how kisses were in stories. There were no fireworks. She didn’t feel like her feet left the floor. If anything, it was awkward because neither of them could stop smiling long enough to really let their lips melt into the other.

But that was okay. They now had all the time in the world to practice. 

Marinette jerked away. “You shouldn’t be kissing me actually.” 

“What?” He went rigid in her arms, clearly worried he had done something wrong. 

“I don’t want you to get sick,” she observed worriedly. 

He relaxed his forehead against hers and smiled again. “I don’t care about that.”

“You say that now. This bug knocked me out for a solid week and I’m still shaky.”

Adrien did get sick two days later. Ladybug brought him broth. She knew from experience that he wouldn’t be able to hold anything else down and even the broth was a toss-up. 

“I feel awful,” he complained to her.

“I told you,” the heroine quipped without sympathy even as she nestled down next to him in bed.

He just leaned into her presence, his eyes remained closed. “It was worth it,” he told her. “I have no regrets. If I die from this, I will die happy.”

“No!” She barked in objection. “You have to live forever!”

He laughed weakly and then started coughing instead. When the coughing finally subsided, he threaded his fingers through hers. “I promise I will, Buginette. That, or I will die trying.” 

She nuzzled against him, and released her transformation. She couldn’t ask for better than that.

“See that you do, kitty. See that you do.”

He started purring, and they both promptly fell asleep. Marinette still hadn’t entirely recovered from her own illness afterall and the worst had yet to hit Adrien. But they would weather it together.

…

Chapter Text

Marinette stared unhappily at the photo on her computer screen. Part of her thought she should be overjoyed at the revelation before her, but in the moment she only felt frustrated. What was that stupid cat thinking?! Could he be any more obvious? If she didn’t know better, she’d think he did it on purpose. 

“Marinette?” Tikki’s familiar voice called. “What’s wrong?” 

The dark haired girl sighed, and then gestured halfheartedly to the picture on her instagram feed. “Do you think I should be more mad at Adrien for uploading this picture? Or at Plagg for being difficult in the first place?” 

Tikki looked at the picture of Adrien sitting at his desk leaning forward to the camera with light from tall panes of glass windows lighting up his hair in a golden glow. As someone who collected all things Adrien, the picture honestly wasn’t the best Marinette had ever seen. His face looked washed out, and he had bags under his eyes. He just looked tired, and she couldn’t help but worry about him. Especially now that she understood that his plate of responsibilities was larger than she had ever imagined. The image was further spoiled by a random plain white sock floating upright in the air behind him. It was so stiff it could have been hanging from a clothesline.

Marinette observed Tikki carefully as the kwami considered the picture, watching for any reaction. At times, her kwami was amazingly expressive, but Marinette had come to learn the embodiment of creation could pull off quite the poker face when the need arose. 

“I don’t see Plagg,” the red sprite finally concluded, her eyes furrowed together in seeming confusion.

“Really?!” Marinette scoffed. “That’s what you’re going with? I already know that kwamis don’t show up on camera, Tikki. What else could that be?”

“Photoshop?” TIkki suggested lightly. 

Marinette rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe Adrien threw the sock backwards when he took the picture,” her kwami said. 

Marinette crossed her arms over her chest, not remotely convinced by Tikki’s attempts to dissuade her. “It’d be blurry, Tikki.”

“Not if it was at the height of its arc.”

“It wouldn’t be at this angle,” Marinette argued, pointing at the artifact. She didn’t like physics, but she couldn’t help pick up on some things being a superhero fighting akumas over the rooftops of Paris. “This is like it’s hanging upright. If it was flying through the air it would be bent and floppy.”

Tikki sighed, her mouth opening in search of another argument, but no words left her lips. 

“You know who else might know that kwamis can’t be photographed?” Marinette asked rhetorically, and then answered the question herself. “Papillion .” 

“Yeah, Adrien needs to delete that photo,” Tikki agreed.

Marinette laughed at Tikki’s sudden change in tune. “Oh, you think so?”

Tikki didn’t bother to respond to the “I told you so,” and Marinette found herself looking at the picture. His eyes were actually green. After her stint as Lady Noire, Marinette hadn’t been certain that her partner’s eyes were that vibrant shade of fresh spring grass. But they were, and for whatever reason that little detail made her feel like she knew him. 

And of course, she did know him. He was Adrien. But now… She couldn’t help the giddy little smile that burst over her face as the reality of Chat Noir’s identity really sunk in, and she loved him even more. 

“I’m glad that you’re happy,” Tikki observed softly. “That it’s him.” 

Marinette twirled around in her chair towards her kwami. “Yeah, me too,” she admitted with a blush. “But goodness, he makes things so difficult sometimes! Why doesn’t he think things through?!”

“Let’s go yell at him!” Tikki encouraged, executing an excited dance in the air.

Marinette laughed. “Alright, then! Tikki, Spots On!”

…

Adrien lay back on his bed, one arm behind his neck supporting his head, and the other hand holding his phone up in front of his face, watching the likes and comments come in from his latest instagram post. He didn’t really know why he always watched the reactions come in live. The constant notifications and attention from people he had never met had lost its joy and appeal ages ago, and yet, he still couldn’t help but check the recent post every few seconds anyway. 

And this post was special. He had an ulterior motive. 

“Do you think she’ll figure it out, Plagg?” Adrien asked, daydreaming of a certain Ladybug darting through his window.

“I’d say that’s a pretty good bet!” the mischievous cat like kwami said, snapping the t before phasing out of sight. 

Adrien dropped the phone and looked up. “What makes you say…” 

Ladybug stood in his window frame. Her blue eyes narrowed as they landed on him, and he wanted to hide from her obvious displeasure.  

“...that?” he trailed off. He leapt from his prone position on the bed, and slid forward, allowing his legs to hang over the mattress as he sat smiling at his mostly unexpected guest. 

“Hi, Ladybug! What brings you here?” Adrien greeted brightly as if it was totally and completely normal to have a superhero standing in his open window. Which, if he counted himself, it kinda was…? 

Her glare turned frostier, even as she jumped gracefully from the window sill to the marble floor. “Don’t play dumb, Chaton. It doesn’t suit you. Delete it now!” 

“Delete what?” Despite her command, he figured it was in the interest of his survival to pretend he had no idea what she was talking about.

“The photo that you just posted to Instagram!” she growled. 

He grinned. Ladybug had arrived within thirty minutes of him posting the photo. “So, you follow my Instagram?” 

To his shock, pink flushed across her face. “That’s s-so not the point!” she spluttered. 

His grin widened. “I always told you, you’d find my unmasked face irresistible.” 

Her eyes hardened. “You need to delete that photo now, Adrien!” she barked harshly. “If I could figure it out, Papillion and Mayura can too!” 

His grin evaporated in an instant. Shit! He hadn’t thought about that. He darted back to his phone that lay abandoned on his bed, rapidly unlocked it, and then swiped and tapped his way through the app. “It’s done,” he reported, all his bravado gone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”

His partner’s form slumped in relief and she let out a frustrated sigh. Her resigned exasperation with just that dash of disappointment cut deeper than anything she had actually said. He had been needlessly reckless and for selfish reasons. It seemed so obvious now.

“It’s probably not gone, though,” he admitted softly. “I have crazy fans that screen cap everything. And repost stuff. I can’t control any of that.”

“It was only up for like half an hour. I can’t imagine it got too far or that most people will understand its significance. And it’s not the most flattering photo of you honestly, so hopefully less people felt the need to save it.” She flicked a piece of lint off her shoulder, not making eye contact. “How many likes did it have?”

“Around five thousand,” he reported.

“Five thousand?” she repeated in disbelief, her bright blue eyes as wide as the Seine. “I don’t think I could get that many likes in a year! God damn celebrities!” 

“Ladybug could,” he told her confidently. “If she had an Instagram.” 

“I’m not getting an Instagram as Ladybug!” she countered hotly.

“Why not?” he asked with genuine curiosity. “I imagine you could post some beautiful pictures of the city.”

“Because of stuff like floating socks!” she snapped back. She started pacing in front of his window in agitation. “I might not catch something in the background, and then I would give away my whole identity! I’m not willing to put my friends and family in danger for likes!” she lashed out at him.

His shoulders wilted. She was right. His father had a lot of resources and could probably protect himself even from a supervillain. Maybe Kagami too. But what about Nino, Alya, and Marinette? 

“I-it wasn’t for likes,” he whispered, but the objection felt weak even to his own ears. He had only wanted one person to see it. Her. He just wanted her in his life. His actual life. Was that so bad? But his plan had worked better than he thought possible. She had figured out his identity. And that meant… 

Knots formed in Adrien’s stomach as the implications sunk in. “You’re right. I didn’t think. Are-are you going to take my miraculous, now?” He wasn’t brave enough to look at her face. He hadn’t thought about the consequences at all. He hadn’t thought about the fact that other people, including his enemies, might recognize the properties of a kwami. Didn’t think about the fact that he didn’t know how to survive without the freedom of Chat Noir. No, he had only been thinking that Ladybug would understand the significance of the photo and if she “accidentally” figured out his identity, then she couldn’t be mad at him for telling her. He had only wanted her to see him and understand him. She was his partner. His other half.

He risked a glance up at her continued silence. She looked like she had been hit by a bus at the question. Her eyes were blown wide and her mouth hung open, and she still didn’t say anything. 

“That’s the consequence, right?” he prompted when she didn’t respond. “Someone figures out my identity, I have to give up my miraculous?” He shrugged, trying to hold up a strong front. “That’s what Plagg said a few weeks back anyway.”

He slipped off the ring and held it out to her, his eyes burning with threatened tears. 

Her gloved hands reached out, and he clamped his teeth down on the sob that wanted to tear out of his throat. Her gloved hands, which felt strange touching his bare skin, carefully closed his fingers around the cold metal circle and pushed it back towards him. He looked up at her in surprise. Her eyes glistened with her own unshed tears.

“Maybe I should take it. That was Master Fu’s rule, but Chaton…” she whispered, and then rapidly shook her head with her teeth pressed down into her lower lip. “I can’t do this without a partner.” 

“You could find a new partner. One who is more worthy of your trust.” 

She scoffed. “I can’t just find another partner! They don’t fall from the sky. And yes! I’m not going to lie! You drive me absolutely crazy sometimes! With the flirting and your stupid puns while I’m trying to figure out how to use a lucky charm! When you wouldn’t take no for an answer after asking me out for like the third time. When you fell for fake Ladybug just because you wanted me to love you even though it was so obvious she wasn’t real. And oh my god, you accepted Sass when you were already Chat Noir! Ugh!” 

His shoulders slumped, and his eyes burned with unshed tears. When she laid it all out like that… maybe she needed to find a new partner. Someone who understood the responsibilities his power brought him, and would respect her boundaries, hopefully better than he had.

She dropped to her knees in front of him, and her red gloved hands gently took his own, and squeezed reassurance. She tilted her head down to catch his fallen gaze. And she smiled softly at him. 

“But Chaton, you’re also the person who can figure out my crazy plans with almost no explanation, the person who has taken hit after hit for me. I’ve literally watched you die in my arms, more times than I prefer to think about. I have the nightmares to prove it. You talk me up and encourage me when it feels impossible to succeed.” 

She gripped his hands harder. “Hell! I would have quit being Ladybug on the first day, if it wasn't for you. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I need you. No one else can even come close to replacing you. Not even if I trained them to fight because you do more than watch my back. You just know how to lift me up when my world has fallen apart.”

Hot tears slipped past his defenses as her words settled into his being, planting soft seeds of warmth. 

“Please don’t cry,” she begged.

He wiped his tears away furiously. “Thank you, LB. it feels really good to hear you say all that. Sometimes, I’m not sure where I stand with you. Some days I feel like your best friend, and other days, that annoying weird kid you wish you never had met.”

“Chaton,” she crooned. “I care about you so much. I promise I have never once wished that I hadn’t met you. You have become a huge part of my life!”

“You too, LB! You’re the best thing in mine.” 

She blushed and fidgeted. It was actually weird to see her as anything other than confident and focused. Her nervousness relaxed him, made him remember she was just a teenager like him. 

“I love you,” he blurted into the growing silence. “You make me feel like I have value and a purpose. Like I’ve done something good, and that I’ve done it well. I don’t feel like that very often. And I know I’ve said it before, and I’m not expecting anything, but I just… I wanted to say it just once… as myself.”

“You love me,” she repeated, her form rigid as she stared at him with wide eyes as if she couldn’t believe it.

He laughed. “Yes! Why do you sound so surprised? I’ve only told you three times before!”

“But that was Chat Noir. Adrien told his friends he was in love with someone but he didn’t give a name. I’m the person Adrien is in love with.”

He placed a hand absently to his neck. “It’s not like I could tell my friends your name. It’d be dismissed as a celebrity crush.” 

Then her comment registered and his green eyes shot up to her masked ones. “Wait! How do you know that I told my friends that?”

She glanced toward the window, and took a step back. “Uh… well, you see…” she stuttered. And that was weird. He’d never seen Ladybug so nervous, and yet, her body language tickled his memory with its familiarity. 

“Do I… do I know you in my civilian life?” 

Ladybug bolted to her feet. “Well, this has been fun,” she said rapidly, a nervous smile stretching across her face. “I need to get going now. Remember to be more careful with your social media accounts. See you at patrol tomorrow, Chaton!”

He darted in front of her before she could launch her yo-yo out his window, his mind awhirl. He had only told three people that he was in love with someone. Nino, Marinette, and Kagami. 

None of them seemed likely to share that information with anyone else. 

And Ladybug definitely wasn’t Nino. 

He had seen Ladybug with both Marinette and Kagami. But… his lady was clever. She might have tricked him. And of those two, only one of them made sense.

“Marinette?”

Her face fell into her hands. “Tikki’s going to kill me.”

Warmth burst in his chest like a firework going off. Adrien felt like he was floating above the ground. He was just that elated. He knew Ladybug’s identity. And the girl behind the mask? She was amazing! And she was already his friend. 

He stepped forward and seized her in a hug. “It’s you!” he laughed, giddiness spilling from every fiber of his being. 

She didn’t reciprocate. Instead, she remained frozen in his embrace - awkwardly patting his shoulder. He immediately let her go and backed away with an arm to the back of his neck as his nerves caught up with him. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, heat blooming in his face. “I am so excited to know that you are Marinette, I… I got carried away.” 

“H-how can you be s-sure that I’m Marinette?” she asked, pink spreading from her mask to her ears.

He smiled fondly at the suddenly very familiar stutter. “You know I can see the resemblance now, right? It’s really obvious. Plus, who else could live up to Ladybug, but Marinette?”

She fidgeted and turned away from his gaze. “Y-you can’t tell anyone.” 

He rolled his eyes and took another step towards her. “I know how the superhero schtick goes.” 

She crossed her arms across her chest and glared at him. “Really? Have you already forgotten why I came to visit you today?” And here she was all Ladybug righteous fury. 

He blushed. “I only did that because I wanted you to know who I was. No one else. And trust me to guard your secret better than my own. I know you have a family to protect.” 

“You say that like you don’t,” she observed with a frown. 

He shrugged. “I mean, I guess I have my father. But I hardly ever see him. So does it count?” 

Adrien immediately regretted saying that as an awkward silence descended upon them. A silence that he had no clue how to fill. 

“I’m sorry, Adrien,” she finally whispered, and then she took a step forward and her spotted arms encircled around him. 

“What for?” he asked in surprise. He stood frozen uncertain and amazed at this turn of events, before he let his arms wrap around her petite form and his chin rest on her shoulder.

“I just… I don’t think I ever understood why having a connection with me as Ladybug was so important to you,” she whispered in his ear. “I didn’t realize that it would be just as difficult to make friends in your civilian form as it would be as Chat Noir.”

He pulled back a little, but just enough to take her hand and bring it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles as he always did. But unlike usual, she didn’t pull away or rebuff him. In fact, her cheeks blazed red the way Marinette’s often did in Adrien’s presence.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“F-fine,” she stammered, snatching her hand out of his hold like she had been burned.

“You just... usually pull away sooner. And your face is all red,” he pointed out, gesturing to her cheeks with his free hand. 

She punched him in the shoulder. And it hurt more than he was willing to admit. He wasn’t transformed at the moment, but he tried to play it off. 

“You don’t have to be a jerk about it!” she admonished him.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion.

“You’re making fun of me,” she whined.

“I swear that I’m not.” 

“Then why do you keep teasing me about being embarrassed?” she shot back. 

“I… you’re embarrassed?” he asked. “What on earth would you have to be embarrassed about? You’re amazing! ” 

“You know who I am! You can remember every time I’ve put my foot in my mouth or embarrassed myself horribly in front of you with every attempted confession,” she spoke rapidly, her hands waving around wildly. And he found himself smiling softly. This behavior was all Marinette. And he loved it. 

Then her words registered. His eyes widened, and time froze and he felt as alert as he did facing an akuma. He could see her hands fidgeting nervously, her heaving chest as she struggled to replace the air she had just used, the faint pink still staining her cheeks, and her blue eyes darting away in self consciousness.

“Confession?” He tried to keep the hope out of his voice, but he failed.

Her eyes widened before her face fell into her hands again, as she mumbled incoherently into her palms. And god, this blending of Marinette and Ladybug right in front of him was making him dizzy. He stepped forwards again and gently pulled her hands from her face, revealing swirling orbs of blue that peeked out from under her dark eyelashes.

“I’m the boy? Me? ” He asked. Her blush darkened, but she gave a slight nod. He laughed in absolute delight. “I’m the boy,” he repeated, but this time it was a revelation and not a question. If he felt like he was floating before, he was flying now. And he was never going to come back down to earth again. 

“Me. Adrien. I’m the boy you love,” he rambled, a grin as wide as the Seine stretched across his face. “You rejected Chat Noir-me for Adrien-me.” He was never going to stop smiling. 

“Adrien,” she whined, over enunciating all three syllables of his name. “Stop looking so pleased with yourself!” 

He shook his head. “But you love me. Ladybug loves me.”

She blushed yet again, and offered him a gentle smile. “Yeah… I guess she does.”

He caressed her cheek and leaned into her space. “May I kiss you?”

She nodded.

His right hand cupped her while his left slipped his fingers between hers. His lips pressed into hers. Just a touch, lingered there for a moment relishing in the gentle contact. She felt soft, warm, and tasted sweet like fruit-flavored candy. 

It wasn’t his first kiss.

But it was the first kiss he could remember. 

He pulled away to see her face still lost in the contact. Her eyes were closed with her head angled up, and she had the smallest smile. Warmth bloomed in his chest at her expression.

Posting that picture had been the best idea he had ever had. 

Unless of course, Papillion figured him out. That would lead him straight to Marinette whether or not the villain had cause to suspect she was Ladybug. 

His stomach turned to ice. 

No… he wouldn’t let that happen. He would protect her. He was Chat Noir, and Chat Noir always protected his partner. He always did whatever needed to be done, whether he had to sacrifice himself or just simply created a distraction. 

His eyebrows shot into his forehead. That was exactly what he needed to do! 

“I have an idea!” he exclaimed.

...

Ladybug refused to open her eyes. She wouldn’t recover if she opened them only to discover that the last two minutes had only been a dream.

This wasn’t her first kiss, and it wasn’t even her first kiss with Adrien. But the first one had been in the middle of a battle with no time to savor the moment. This is the kiss she would choose to cherish in her memory. 

He pulled back, and she tried not to chase him, but she wasn’t ready for him to go. 

“I have an idea!” 

Her eyes finally blinked open at the excitement in his voice. “An idea?” she asked. “F-for what?” Why was she still stuttering?! 

His meadow-green eyes were vibrant, and he still held her hand. The contact was grounding her even if the gloves of her suit remained between them. “To solve my floating sock problem. We need a distraction. Can you detransform?”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What? Why?”

“Please?” he begged and somehow his eyes got wider and softer, and his lower lip trembled in an over-exaggerated pout. She was going to have to work on her resistance to that look. “We could do this as Ladybug and Adrien. It might even work better at solving the sock identity vulnerability, but it would do that by putting your identity more at risk if we show any public affection in our civilian identities. It’s better to do this as Adrien and Marinette.”

“Spots off,” she whispered. Chat Noir was the person she trusted most in the world. 

The familiar buzz tingled down her form, and Adrien was staring at her like he’d never seen her before all over again.

Her face and neck blazed in sudden embarrassment. “What?” she asked, looking down at her fingers.

“I just… it really is you,” he whispered, his voice filled with awe. “I mean, I knew that, but but now, it’s real.” 

Tikki took that moment to flutter up between them. “Marinette, what are you…?”

Marinette waved her off. “Not now, Tikki! It’s too late. I’m sorry!” She turned back to Adrien. “What did you have in mind?”

He grinned so brightly. Seriously, she was going to get sunburned from his smiles, and reached a hand out to her. “Come here,” he directed as he pulled her into his arms. It was terrifying how good it felt to be held in his arms. She felt hot and cold, vulnerable and safe, nervous and loved. And she felt it all at once. It was quite the heady experience.

Then he touched their foreheads together and she got lost in his eyes, which beamed with absolute adoration all directed at her. Heat pooled into her cheeks at the intimacy of their unwavering eye contact.

She chided herself. They had been in far more intimate and compromising positions in their suits. But right now they were without their masks. And she felt so much more vulnerable. 

But also giddy with joy. 

After only seconds had passed, Adrien pulled out his phone, and snapped a few pictures of them, but his eyes never left her face until after he finished. Only then did he glance down at the screen to view their results. 

“What do you think?” He asked, swiping through the burst of shots as he turned the screen to show her. 

Looking at the pictures, Marinette couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. The only thing more powerful than seeing Adrien’s love sick eyes focused intently and unerringly on hers was seeing her own expression mirroring his own. She brushed his hand away and went through the pictures herself more slowly, tears threatening to drop from the corner of her eyes when she landed on her favorite. In the image, Adrien was smiling like a child tasting sugar for the first time in its life, while Marinette looked dazed like the world had just been turned upside down, which it had, but in the best possible way. 

She had to clear her throat before she could speak. “This one,” she said, handing the device back to him.

“I like this one too,” he agreed as his fingers flew across the small touch screen, setting up a new Instagram post. He turned the final result towards her, so she could read the caption.

Spending the afternoon with my new girlfriend.

“What do you say? Are you ready to become social-media-official with me?” he asked with a smirk. But his free hand was rubbing the back of his neck. 

The nervous tick threw her, and she realized he wasn’t just creating a distraction. He was also asking her out, and he was nervous. Somehow that calmed her. 

She bit her lip and nodded again. And suddenly he was kissing her again, and she hoped that she never got used to the sensation. It was perfect. Even though she disapproved of his recklessness, part of her was really glad that he had posted that picture if it meant she could have a dozen more moments like this. 

When he pulled away, he buried his head into his phone once again. She frowned at how quickly he was distracted, and looked over his arm to see what he was adding to his post. 

When I kiss her, I feel so dizzy I see spots.

“Adrien!” she scolded, slapping his arm. Was he seriously going to risk her identity for a stupid pun!  

He laughed, and immediately deleted the sentence. “Okay! Okay! How about… the princess of my heart?”

“Totally over the top cheesy!” she screeched, trying harder to wrestle away his phone. 

Before she succeeded, he hit the “share” button. Then, he immediately surrendered the device to her, and pulled her back against his chest, his chin resting on her shoulder as they stood cheek to cheek, looking at his phone, which was already lighting up and buzzing with dozens of notifications. Marinette watched in abject fascination. This was almost unfair.

Within two minutes, Marinette’s cell had started ringing, and over the next five minutes, Alya had called fourteen times and left four voicemails. Exasperated, Marinette texted her back. 

I’m trying to make out with my boyfriend. Quit interrupting! 

That ought to get her to shut up.

Sure enough, Alya sent her a squealing emoji in response and then there was silence. 

Within ten minutes, the new photo had exceeded the five thousand likes of the deleted picture. Congratulatory and heartbroken comments poured in almost faster than Adrien or Marinette could read. 

Another five minutes passed, and the newly formed couple jumped apart at the sudden pounding on Adrien’s bedroom door. 

“Adrien, would you please open this door right now and explain how Ms. Dupain-Cheng came to be in your room without going through the front door,” Nathalie called from the other side of the wooden barrier. 

“I guess that’s my cue to leave,” Marinette whispered, stepping away from her new boyfriend - she had an actual boyfriend - and towards the window.

Adrien immediately grabbed her hand. “Actually, it might be better if you stayed?” he said nervously. “I may not have thought this entirely through either… as this photo is obviously in my room. It’s easier to explain sneaking you in here than is explaining where you disappeared to.”

“Adrien! ” She hissed. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Hopefully love me forever?” He suggested with an exaggerated grin. 

“Adrien!” Nathalie yelled through the door. 

Marinette laughed. “You might want to open the door before your father's assistant gets akumatized.” 

“You’ll stay?” he whispered, his trembling eyes the only sign that he was scared to face the dragon on the other side of his bedroom door alone.

She nodded, and threaded her hand through his. “You and me against the world right?” 

“The world plus Nathalie. She’s scarier than the rest of the world,” he said cheekily even as he unlocked and opened the door.

God, Marinette was completely in love with this dork. And she was going to have to put up with him, his ill-thought-out-over-th-top schemes to impress her, and his stupid smug smirk for who knew how long. 

Maybe forever. 

But then again, maybe none of those things were so bad.

Chapter Text

“Wait, but the person who locked you in was…”

Marinette barely registered Adrien’s words as she leapt forward at the closing door, but her Ladybug reflexes failed her and the door snapped shut, followed by the definitive click of the lock engaging.

“Alya!” she hollered, banging on the door with a closed fist. “Let us out!”

"You're Ladybug," the small voice whispered behind her.

Marinette’s eyes flew around to his, wide with panic. "Adrien! You can't tell anyone!" she begged. She took a step forward, needing to pace to work out her panic. But the closet was too small, so she plopped down onto a rusty stool, and tugged at her pigtails in frustration. "Oh my god! I'm going to kill her! She promised she would do everything to help me keep this secret. Not broadcast it to all our friends."

Adrien sank down slowly beside her, using a deteriorating box as his makeshift seat. "But... I don't understand," and his voice was full of confusion. "You're Multimouse. Everyone saw."

Marinette sighed. "That was the point. If everyone saw me exposed as Multimouse, no one would suspect me of being Ladybug." She glanced over his shoulder unable to look at his face, and pressed her teeth into her lower lip. "It wasn't even the first time I've used that trick," she muttered softly, her eyes burning with threatened tears.

"Hey, you okay?" Adrien asked, his hand on her knee.

The dam burst at his gentle concern. Tears flowed freely even as her throat closed off. "I... I just... I wanted him to be the first to know.

"Who?" he asked.

She kept talking as if he hadn't spoken. "And then Alya told me she had me figured out months ago, and now you know, too. And it's just... not fair." She shoved her fists into her eyes.

"Who did you want to know?"

Her eyes peaked through her fingers to stare at him. "Chat Noir," she admitted. "He's always wanted to know. And I always wanted to tell him."

"You did?" his voice incredulous. "But then, why didn't you?"

"Well, at first it was because of the rules. My kwami said no one could know, not even my partner."

"But you wanted to tell him?"

She nodded. "I never wanted to be a hero. I hate lying! And I just thought maybe he was the one person who would understand.

"And he wants it so badly," she said again.

Adrien frowned. "Him wanting to know doesn't make him entitled to your confidences, Marinette."

"I've told him as much. But it's more complicated than that," her fingernails dug into her knees. "He's died for me. I mean, for Ladybug. More than once. He loves her. But yesterday, yesterday he stood up for me - Marinette me - to Ladybug. God, he was so angry. I've never seen him that angry. Not even when I was keeping secrets from him about the Guardian. And it felt good. He cares about me. Marinette me."

"You love him?"

Startled blue eyes flew up and started crying again. "I do," she admitted. "But I can't!"

"Why not?"

"I saw the future. It wasn't pretty. Everything was gone. Chat Noir was akumatized. He told me our love destroyed the world. It's not fair. Why do I always have to give up everything?"

His hands wrapped carefully around hers. "Maybe you don't."

And he sounded so sure. She wanted to believe him. She did. But she was so scared. Was he saying that she should be with him instead? Marinette from two weeks ago would have leapt at the chance. Now, she didn't see how she could even try to be with him, having admitted her feelings for Chat Noir.

"I'm sorry, Adrien," she whispered.

He golden eyebrows furrowed together adorably. "For?"

"I just... I had a crush on you for the longest time." Why was it so easy to say that now? Her life really wasn't fair. "That's why Alya threw us in here together. She's hoping that we'll talk and then get together. But I've spent the whole time talking to you about my feelings for another boy."

One of his hands slipped from hers to the back of his neck. "Uh... about that."

This time, it was her forehead that wrinkled in confusion.

He looked right into her eyes. "I'm Chat Noir."

Her eyes widened to the size of canyons.

And then she hit him. "You stupid cat! How could you?"

"Ow!" he squealed, as he twisted out of her reach so she couldn't do it again. "What was that for?"

"You used your civilian identity to figure out how I felt about you as Chat!" she shrieked.

"Well, excuse me for not revealing myself immediately to Miss Identities-must-remain-secret-at-all-costs," he countered. "I wouldn't want the Guardian to have reason to confiscate my miraculous."

She wilted. "Yeah..."

His form turned rigid. "You're not going to take my miraculous, are you?"

She scoffed. "It would be rather hypocritical if I did. Alya apparently figured me out the day I locked her and Nino in a cage together!"

"She figured me out about five minutes before she threw us both in here," he admitted. "I was upset and got careless when talking to Plagg."

She frowned in concern. "What were you upset about?"

His cheeks turned pink. "Uh... it seems silly now."

"Please tell me."

"I was upset because of what you said earlier. I was finally moving on from Ladybug. There was this girl in my class who absolutely kicks ass with a miraculous. And I thought there was something between us, or that there could be. But then she told me to my face that she didn't find me cute or attractive, and that she never thought about kissing me."

Marinette felt the heat explode in her face. "I... I only s-said that because I was trying to fight it. Alya saw right through me. She knew I was just in denial. You're very attractive, Chaton. And I've thought about kissing you on both sides of your mask so many times I'm embarrassed to admit it."

His eyes lit up, and a grin bloomed across his face. It was a gorgeous sight. "Really?"

"Really really."

"May I kiss you now?"

She grinned too this time, metaphorical butterflies fluttered in her stomach. "I thought you'd never ask."

She had always assumed Chat Noir would throw himself at her the second he had permission. But he didn't. He was sweet. One hand gently traced the side of her face, his eyes studying every curve of her face as if he was trying to memorize every detail. His other hand interlaced with hers, and he used the new leverage to invite her into his space.

His lips felt soft, smooth and warm. He lingered for just a moment, and then pulled away. She opened her eyes first. His remained closed with a soft little smile like he was filing away the memory for another day.

She could not love him more.

His eyes finally opened. "D-does this mean we're dating now?" he asked. And she could hear the hope in his voice that he was so carefully trying to disguise.

She smirked. "Who do you mean? Adrien and Marinette? Or Chat Noir and Ladybug?"

He grinned - the expression was all Chat. "I think I like MariChat the best," he teased.

She blushed. She supposed it was Multimouse and Chat Noir that got the ball rolling. "Regardless, I think Alya will be happy."

He laughed. "How are we ever going to repay her?"

She shrugged. "Meh. An exclusive interview or two should do it. We'll figure it out later. Can we go back to kissing?"

He grinned. "As my lady wishes."

Chapter Text

Adrien slipped into the silver limo and the door thudded closed behind him with a finality that made Marinette flinch. A moment later, the car pulled out onto the road. Watching the vehicle fade away into the grey haze of drizzly rain, two things were suddenly very clear to her. 

She didn’t want Adrien to go. He was precious to her in a way that she could not define. He possessed an unending patience, he had the sweetest and softest smiles for her even when she was babbling or stuttering incoherently, and he was kind. She just didn’t know a lot of boys who were just so genuinely compassionate. She clearly had never really gotten over her crush on him despite her best efforts.

But in that moment as the car turned around a corner and completely out of sight, it was surprisingly easy to imagine her life without him. If Adrien disappeared she would grieve, but she would heal, and she would be okay.

No, the gaping hole in her chest had an entirely different source. 

It was Chat Noir that she did not know how to live without. 

Because it was Chat Noir who had her back every time hers was against a wall, Chat Noir who made her laugh when life seemed impossible to face, Chat Noir who offered her advice and insight whenever she asked even when it was about her feelings for someone else, and Chat Noir who built her up and encouraged her in her lowest moments. 

And she was never going to see him again.

Marinette fell to her knees, barely noticing the unforgiving impact of the cement below or the cold water seeping up her pant legs from the ground. Hot tears slipped down her cheeks in contrast with the sky’s frigid rain drops. Her whole form trembled like a leaf in an autumn storm as her tears finally caught up to her.

She gripped his ring in her fist, its edges biting into her palm. It was wrong that she had it. It was his. But she couldn’t return it to him. She didn’t know his name. She didn’t know anything about him.

And now he was gone.  

It wasn’t fair. Hadn’t she done everything right? She tried to be responsible, she always followed the rules, and she sacrificed so much of her normal life to make sure she could be the heroine that Paris needed. Why had everything blown up in her face so colossally?

Chat Noir was gone.

He had supported her through her worst mistakes. Had he not trusted her to do the same for him? 

A warmth cuddled at her neck in contrast to the cold damp air around them. “Marinette?” 

“I-I’m sorry, Tikki,” Marinette choked out, as she turned away from the red kwami on her shoulder. “I can’t do this anymore. Not… not without him.” 

A black streak flew in front of her face. “Then why’d you yell at him?” Plagg demanded. 

Her vision was too blurry with tears to make the kwami of destruction come into focus. “Because I was angry! I didn’t think he’d leave!” she countered sharply. “I had every right to be mad at him, Plagg. He promised me that he’d protect Paris in my absence. And then he didn’t.”

To her shock, the kwami wilted like a plant without water. “That… might have been my fault.” 

“Plagg?” Tikki asked, a disapproval to her voice that Marinette rarely heard. “What did you do?!” 

The miniature cat whirled to face his opposite. “You don’t understand! He never gets to have any fun! He’s always locked up! Every moment of almost every day is planned and scheduled. He’s not allowed to spend time on his hobbies if they are not pre-approved. He doesn’t get to just hang out with his friends! It’s amazing he manages to sneak away to become Chat Noir when he needs to!” He rose and fell in the damp air with a deep sigh. 

“He’s my chosen, Tikki,” Plagg continued, his voice more subdued. “He deserves to have freedom.” He said it like a wish. 

Salty tears flooded Marinette’s eyes all over again. Her partner didn’t have any freedom in his life? She hadn’t realized. He had always seemed so carefree. He seemed like such a goofball. But she had never asked.

How could she not have known? She should have known. 

But they weren’t supposed to know anything about each other. 

Another sob threatened to erupt from her throat. She fought it down. 

Plagg continued. “A chance for a vacation popped up and he wasn’t going to go! He was all disgusting like, ‘I promised Ladybug I’d be here.’ I may have convinced him that the risk was really small, that he could watch the news constantly on the trip, and hurry back if anything happened.”

Tikki’s antennae vibrated back and forth in agitation.

“And it would have worked if there hadn’t also been villains here. How was I supposed to know that New York was infested with a cesspool of villains and subpar heroes?!” Plagg demanded with all the self righteousness of a wounded animal. 

Marinette absorbed this new information stoically. The drizzling rain was starting to soak through her clothes and hair, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. 

“He deserved the chance to go, too!” Plagg insisted childishly. “Why did your chosen get to go, and mine didn’t? And it’s not like you didn’t know he was here, Tikki! You’re so quick to point fingers after the fact.”

Tikki opened her mouth to argue, but Marinette put a hand up. “It doesn’t matter. He made his choice.” She honestly didn’t know if she was referring to his choice to go to New York, or to his choice to give up his miraculous. “And now, I have no way of finding him.”

And she dissolved into shaking sobs again. “It’s not fair,” she cried. “W-why did I have to realize that I loved him now? When it’s too late.”

She leaned back against a brick wall, the rain still falling down around her. Her pigtails were weeping with excess water. Her lined jacket faired a little better. The cold wet at least hadn’t seeped down to her skin yet. 

Plagg zipped up to her face, his eyes searching her face. “You love him?” he whispered. “Chat Noir, him?”

Marinette just dissolved into a new round of wracking sobs. 

The tiny catlike kwami patted her cheek. “It’s not too late!” he insisted. “I can help you find him. We’ll give him back the miraculous together.”

Marinette tried to stamp out the hope that sprouted in her chest at those words. 

“She can’t know who he is!” Tikki objected. 

Plagg whirled to face his counterpart. “Why not?” he asked seriously. “The old man’s gone. She’s the Guardian now.”

Marinette buried her head into her sopping wet knees. Her throat closed off again, making words impossible.

Tikki had no trouble forming words, however. “It’s still a risk. She’s been akumatized, Plagg! She almost handed her earrings right over. And if Chat Noir were akumatized she would be the only defense against unlimited destruction!”

Plagg hissed in displeasure. “Did it ever occur to you that they might be less vulnerable to akumas if they knew each other?!”

“Please stop arguing,” Marinette begged. 

Both kwamis instantly stilled. 

“I don’t know if I should know who he is yet. But I do know that I can’t be Ladybug without him.” 

“But Marinette!” Tikki objected. 

Marinette held up her hand. “I don’t want to stop being Ladybug, Tikki. So we need to get Chat back somehow.”

Plagg spun in a happy circle. “I always knew I liked you, Pigtails.” 

“Do you have any ideas, Plagg?” Marinette asked, finally letting the sapling of hope in her chest grow unfettered. “Do you know where he’s headed? Is he close enough that you could go directly to him?” 

“I don’t think I could get to the airport before he gets on a plane. But it doesn’t matter because I don’t think he’ll take me back. Even if I bring the ring with me. As long as he thinks you’re still mad at him he’s going to reject me.” 

“Oh! I am furious with him!” she growled. “But I don’t want him to quit!” And then her face lit up. “That’s it!” 

“What’s your plan?” Tikki asked excitedly, spinning around in anticipation.

She turned to her friend and confidant. “You know where he’s going, too, right?” 

“The airport. But Marinette, Plagg is right. I likely can’t get to him before the plane takes off, and what if the earrings fell into the wrong hands along the way?!”

“So, you’re saying that I can only go to him once we get home?” Marinette asked, her voice heavy with disappointment. “But…”

“Ladybug?” A warm synthetic voice chimed in. “I need your help.”

Marinette started, whirling toward the mechanical voice behind her. “Uncanny Valley?” 

“The akuma is back and it’s gotten worse. I need your help,” the other hero told her without preamble. 

Marinette’s chest tightened in panic. She couldn’t face an akuma. Not right now. 

Not without her partner. 

“I… I want to help,” Marinette confided. “But… I can’t… Not without him.” 

Uncanny Valley smiled. “I can help with that.” 

… 

Adrien leaned forward in the padded seat on his father’s private chartered plane, his head tucked between his knees as he silently berated himself for every decision he had made over the last three days.

What had he been thinking? He had known Ladybug was out of town and that Paris was undefended. And he had gone anyway. 

And Paris had paid the price. 

Just so he could have a few days in New York with his friends. How ridiculously irresponsible and childish of him. 

The resulting damage to Paris could not be undone.

He buried his fists into his hair, tugging at the golden strands in self-loathing frustration.

And then, once in New York, he had almost failed in the worst way possible. He had almost killed Ladybug. His partner!

The woman he still loved despite trying to move on.

And if he had, he’s not sure how he ever would have recovered. If it hadn’t been for Uncanny Valley absorbing his cataclysm, everything would have been lost. 

Everything. 

And that was on him. 

Uncanny Valley had died to save everyone. 

He had killed her. He hadn’t meant to. But he had still taken a life with his own power. Even if it was an accident. He had killed someone. Chat Noir was supposed to be a good guy, a hero, and he had killed someone. And not just anyone.

Aeon.

The bright and precious girl that had been following Jess around the whole trip. Ladybug’s charm may have brought the girl back, but it could never erase the moment when the dark haired girl had lain in her mother’s arms, unmoving, from his mind’s eye.

Frustrated tears leaked from his eyes, and his form shook silently.

He knew he wasn’t worthy of being Chat Noir. 

Not anymore. His selfish choice to go on a school field trip had ruined everything.

His father was right about him. 

Dear god, he didn’t want to face his father. 

He dreaded arriving home. He knew that his life was different now. He had no way to escape his hollow and empty room at any time of day or night, no Plagg to keep him company, and he would no longer be able to hang out with or help his lady. 

He knew would see her. It would be impossible not to. She still lived in Paris, and Hawkmoth was still at large. But it would be from a distance, and even if they happened to be in the same place at the same time, she wouldn’t know that it was him.

But he couldn’t bring himself to grieve those pieces yet. Because that was only being selfish. And being selfish is what caused the whole disaster in the first place. 

A loud pop interrupted his internal self loathing. The air around him was suddenly roaring with the change in pressure. It lasted only for a moment, before everything went still again. 

He turned around. Uncanny Valley stood before him with a bright metallic smile. 

He smiled back, tears burning at the edges of his green eyes at seeing her unharmed once again. 

She stared at him for a moment without saying anything before holding out a familiar octagonal black box. 

“Your services are needed, Chat Noir.” 

He stiffened at the address. She knew. Knew that he was the one that had killed her and she had come to him anyway.

Adrien held up his hands defensively and took a step back. “No, I am not worthy of the ring.” 

She should know that better than anyone. 

Her silver smile never faltered. “Good thing I didn’t bring a ring, then.”

She held out the miraculous box again.

His curiosity got the better of him, and he opened the box despite his reservations, only to drop it to the ground immediately at sight of the spotted earrings.

Adrien was already shaking his head when the swirl of pink sparkles diminished revealing the red kwami he had met only once before.

“She can’t give me her miraculous!” he screamed. “Tikki! What is she thinking?! She knows that I’m irresponsible and can’t be trusted! I proved that today!” 

“Adrien,” Tikki soothed, holding her tiny hands out in a placating gesture. “I need you to calm down.” 

“You want me to be calm?!” He was shaking like a jet engine. “Tikki, I almost killed her today. Me,” he stabbed his own thumb into his chest. “I did that. It was only because of her,” he gestured wildly toward Uncanny Valley, “that I didn’t.” 

“It was an accident, and it turned out okay,” Tikki reassured. 

“It almost didn’t,” he repeated stubbornly, letting himself fall back into his seat with his hands clenched into fists.

“Who are you talking to?” Uncanny Valley asked him, her head cocked to the side in confusion. 

His green eyes darted towards the other hero for a second, and then back to the red kwami. “Tikkis is the kwami that is bonded with the creation miraculous?” 

“What is a kwami? I’m unfamiliar with this classification.” 

“She can’t perceive me because we are invisible to cameras,” Tikki explained impatiently. 

“Kwamis are like spirits or gods of an idea. Every miraculous has one. They embody the jewelry with their powers,” Adrien explained.

“Fascinating,” Uncanny commented. “What does this creature look like?”

“We don’t have time for this,” Tikki interjected. “Can you please tell her to just playback Ladybug’s message?” 

“Ladybug left me a message?” he prompted.

“Yes, of course!” Uncanny held her mouth open, but it was Ladybug’s voice that filled up the room. 

“Chaton, I…” her voice trembled, and he knew she was barely holding back tears. “I don’t know what to say to you. I just… I need you to come back. I don’t know how to do this without you…” she trailed off, breaking into a sob. 

His throat dropped painfully into his chest. He had made his lady cry. Even after everything, it was her voice that could break him. 

She managed to recover, and continued, her voice harder. “I was angry with you for leaving Paris when you said you would be there,” she paused for a second. He could picture her glaring holes through his mask too easily. “But I am more angry that you left me today. How could you do that?” she raged. “When things get hard, when we make mistakes, I need you more! I need you to step up! Not run away.”

“I can’t do this without you,” and here her tone had shifted once again. Now, she was all business, all confident Ladybug with a convoluted plan that would bring everything together. He couldn’t suppress the fond smile that sprouted across his face. “So, I’ve decided that I’m not going to.

“I quit,” she said firmly and decisively. 

Wait! What?! But she couldn’t do that! Paris needed her! No one could replace Ladybug.

“Now there’s no one to protect Paris or New York except you. Good luck!” 

Uncanny Valley closed her mouth, the recording finished, and looked at him expectantly. 

He knew Ladybug was manipulating him, but god damn it, he was never not going to do what she wanted.

He wiped tears from his face that he hadn’t realized he had cried. “She can’t give up, Tikki,” he sobbed. “I’ll go today if she needs me. I will go and return her earrings, but she needs to find a new partner. I definitely don’t deserve any miraculous.”

Tikki shot up to his face. “Adrien! This isn’t about what you deserve or don’t! This is about what she needs! And she needs you! You are her opposite and her partner. You cannot just be replaced. That’s not how this works!”

“She deserves better,” he insisted again, like a broken record.

“Do you not want to be Chat Noir anymore?” the tiny bug asked softly.

He sighed. “Of course I want to be Chat Noir, but there’s a difference between what I want and what is best for everyone! I proved over the last few days that I can’t be trusted not to make selfish choices!”

“That right there is proof you can be trusted!”

Adrien’s eyebrows furrowed together in genuine confusion. “What do you mean?” 

“You’re willing to step down and pass on your position to another, even though you don’t really want to because you think that’s what’s best. That’s the opposite of selfish, Adrien.” 

“But how can she trust me anymore? I let her down,” he whispered.

Tikki spiraled in the air in clear agitation. “Do you think you’re the first miraculous holder to make a huge mistake? Ladybug screwed up just last month and Master Fu’s identity and safety was compromised! And as a result, every temporary hero’s identity was revealed!”

“But that was an accident!” he growled back.

The kwami whipped up to his face. 

“Exactly! It was an accident!” 

He felt like she had just punched him. 

“And Master Fu responded to her mistake by making her the Guardian!”

The kwami pulled herself back with a sigh, her tone once again soft and patient. “Because he was wise enough to know that the biggest mistakes often result in the greatest learning! And that Ladybug is not defined by her mistakes.

“And you aren’t either, Adrien. Ladybug can trust you more after you’ve made this mistake and learned from it, than she could before you ever made it.” 

She paused for a moment as if searching for words. Then she darted right back into his personal space. “Never making mistakes does not make you worthy of your miraculous. Learning from your inevitable mistakes and taking responsibility for them is what makes you the perfect holder of the black cat.”

He hung his head. He wanted to believe Tikki. He did. Then everything could go back to normal.

“Do you believe in her or not?” Tikki asked into the silence. 

“More than anything on this earth.” The words left him in a whisper. 

“Well then!” Tikki continued passionately. “Believe that she’s right when she says that you are needed.” 

Adrien wanted to argue. He feared Ladybug was wrong about him, and he was positively terrified of disappointing her all over again. 

But if her message was to be believed it was his leaving that disappointed her the most. 

He sighed, feeling emotionally exhausted and battered, but he couldn’t argue anymore. Tikki has definitely given him a lot more to think about.  “And here I was thinking you would be nicer than Plagg.”

“What?!” Tikki screeched indignantly, shooting up another foot into the air. “I’m definitely the nice one!” 

He shook his head in disagreement even as he smiled, enjoying the rare chance to rib a kwami even if it wasn’t the one who gave him a hard time constantly. 

“So, how do I find her?” he asked. 

“It won’t be hard,” Uncanny Valley interjected. “You just need to go where the akuma is.” 

He launched himself to his feet. “There’s an akuma?! Why didn’t either of you lead with that?!” he demanded even as he rapidly thrust the earring posts into his ears. 

“Tikki! Spots on!” The creative energies crackled over his form, feeling somehow warm and soft, so unlike his normal destructive power. He stuffed down all his doubts and self-loathing. That could all wait.

There was an akuma to fight. 

And his lady needed him. 

…

“Watch out!” 

Lady Noire dropped to the concrete, cursing the non specificity of the warning. Chat would have told her left or right, up or down in the same number of words. The blast of power rushed over her head and missed her, if only just, so she supposed she couldn’t complain. At least she had an ally in Sparrow. It was better than facing this akuma alone. 

Because this akuma - she was blanking on his name. Techno something? But didn’t it also have something to do with the Miraculous? It didn’t matter! Lady Noire couldn’t keep it all straight! That’s what Chat and his love of comics and manga was for! The point was, whatever his name, this akuma sucked!

She vaulted upwards, launching herself from the ground to a street lamp, to one of the lower buildings in the forest of skyscrapers. 

Remaining at street level was dangerous. There were too many alleyways and blocked sight lines. But leaping from rooftop to rooftop was almost as bad because it left no places to hide, no options for cover even if she could see all her adversaries coming. And she had to fend off Majestia, Knight Owl, and the akuma on miraculous steroids simultaneously.

At least she was in the clear for the moment. There was no sign of any of them. A distant crash thundered. Lady Noire sighed. Majestia was probably destroying more buildings trying to flush them out.

“Hey, Lady Cat!” Sparrow called. “Follow me!” Then she ducked through an open window a dozens of stories off the ground into a conference room of some sort. 

And with another sigh, Lady Noire did just that. She and Sparrow huddled with their heads together out of sight, crafting a new strategy. And again, with Chat, the conversation would have been unnecessary. He could glean her plans from a gesture or three words of explanation. 

But she and Sparrow didn’t have that level of intuitive communication. Lady Noire liked Sparrow. The Parisian hero related to the other girl’s desire to prove herself, and she knew the other girl's heart was in the right place. But they didn’t have any experience with each other.

So it took thirty seconds of rapidly exchanged words before they were on the same page and back in the air fighting. It had only been thirty seconds, but how many buildings had Majestia managed to demolish in that time? 

Lady Noire honestly didn’t have time to count, as she ducked under yet another projectile - this one launched at her by Knight Owl. 

The time delay had been worth it though. She and Sparrow were tag teaming better, grabbing the brainwashed heroes’ attention before they could take out their compromised morals on the city too badly, and covering each other’s back when their three adversaries converged on one of them. 

But every move was defensive. They had no plan for an offensive strike. It was all they could do to not get hit by the akuma’s beam. 

She wished Chat Noir was there. 

She was certain he would come back. He would never leave her hanging. She had absolutely no doubt. 

But would he make it back in time? Before her luck ran out completely?

She pounced out of the way of another strike, only to dodge into the blow of another. She had time to curse her mistake, but no time to course correct. 

Just when she thought it was over, a flash of red body-slammed her into a third direction. 

Relief flooded through her at the familiar sensation of his form pressed against her own. They both readily rolled to their feet, and slid into fighting stances side by side.

“You okay?” he called. 

She flashed him a huge grin. “Never better, bugaboy!” Now that he was here. 

And unlike the first time they had swapped kwamis, they were perfectly in sync. Even for them, it was impressive. It felt like she could read his mind and he hers. 

Or maybe, it was just the contrast of working with Sparrow. Or was her name Eagle now?

Whatever the case, she could feel the difference. Chat Noir was her partner, her other half. He had stolen her heart somewhere along the way, and she couldn’t wait to tell him, even if she would never hear the end of it.

He called for a lucky charm, and she jutted her chin towards a parked taxi cab. He flashed her a grin, and dove into action. And that’s what she meant. He just understood.

“Sorry, Miraclonizer,” Mr. Bug called to the akuma an instant before Lady Noire shot out of the cab and cataclysmed his object. “Third time was not your charm.”

Majestia and Knight Owl cornered the healed villain within seconds of Mr. Bug purifying the butterfly and healing the city.

But Lady Noire paid none of them any mind. She launched herself into her partner’s arms the second it was safe to do so. He caught her as if she weighed nothing, absorbing her momentum with a twirl before pulling her against him. 

She had never felt safer.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” she told him, her voice hard. It was the only defense she had against immediately dissolving into a puddle of tears at his feet. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it m’lady,” he breathed into her braid. “Shall we go somewhere to talk?”

She nodded into his shoulder. “Go, recharge Tikki. And then we’ll meet up on the Statue of Liberty?” 

She bounded away without a word to the American heroes, before ducking into a secluded alleyway three blocks away and letting her transformation shimmer away. 

“I don’t have any cheese,” she reported solemnly as she offered one of Tikki’s cookies to the limp kwami that had just fallen into her hands. 

“I’ll live,” he replied gruffly, eying the proffered pink macaron suspiciously as if she were offering him poison. He took it, flipped it over and inspected it, before taking the smallest of nibbles. 

She sighed. “I’ve seen you inhale cheese, Plagg. I don’t suppose I could bribe you with a promise of a wheel of Camembert later to just hold your nose and inhale that, now?”

“What’s your rush, Pigtails?” he asked, taking another infinitesimally small bite. “The akuma has been defeated already. Your job is done.”

“I just…” she looked away. “I don’t want him to spook.”

Which was a lie. She knew he’d be there. But she… she had lost him today. He walked away once. He might do it again. She wouldn’t feel secure until she had seen him, until he had promised with more than words that he wasn’t going anywhere.

He eyed her. “You can trust him, you know. He’ll wait for you.”

“Like I could trust him to protect Paris in my absence?” she bit back. 

Plagg said nothing. Just took another tiny bite if one could call it that.

She sighed, idly running her fingernail along the alley brick wall. “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to be angry. I don’t want him to run again.”

“You don’t have to be what others expect you to be, you know.” 

Her eyes whipped to the kwami floating in the dim light of a flickering street lamp. “What do you mean?” 

He darted around in an animated circle. “You don’t have to be the bigger person. You can be angry. He can take it. He has lots of practice.”

She hissed at those words, hating that any piece of them could be true, and that she still didn’t know enough about his civilian life to refute or understand them.

“But this isn’t about him, or your feelings for him,” Plagg continued. “This has nothing to do with him at all. This has to do with you being the Guardian.” 

She frowned. “I’m not following.”

“You don’t have to be what Paris expects you to be. Or what Chat Noir expects you to be. You don’t have to be what Master Fu expected you to be either.” 

Her eyes watered unexpectedly at the mention of her old mentor. 

“You just have to be you,” Plagg concluded.

Her knuckles buried themselves into her eyes, as she tried to fight back tears. “But I keep messing up.”

“That’s because you’re trying to follow the rules instead of following your instincts!” 

“A hero thinks with her brain, not her heart!” she countered hotly. 

“No! You need to think with your gut! Your brain is not what helps you decipher Tikki’s charms. I love her, but that girl can be obtuse! No, you have to follow your intuition, and trust that even if you don’t know what the final piece is when you’re halfway through some convoluted plan, you’ll recognize it when you see it.”

She bit her lip, considering his words. His description of unraveling the mystery of a lucky charm wasn’t wrong. 

“Like, why didn’t you bring the horse miraculous on this trip? I know you thought about it!” 

Her eyes narrowed at his tone.“Because Master Fu said that having too many miraculouses out and active was too risky!” she began defensively.

“You already proved that your determination, creativity, and your faith in your partner was more effective than that old man’s paranoia when you defeated Feast.”

The miniature floating cat took another crumb off Tikki’s cookie. “The old man is gone! You need to figure out your own way of doing things. His ways won’t work for you because you’re not him.”

“But… I’m just a teenager. I don’t know what I’m doing. He had so much more experience. He kept you all safe for centuries. Who am I to say that his methods were wrong?” 

“Who are you?” Plagg repeated indignantly. “You are Ladybug! You have never lost. You are now the Guardian. You are Marienette Dupain-Cheng who is quite accomplished in her own right!”

Her eyes burned at the praise. And coming from Plagg who pretended he didn’t care about anything? Well, that meant a lot to her. Especially today when she was feeling so raw and like she had screwed up just for coming on this trip at all. 

“And just so you know, Master Fu took on the role of the Guardian when he was twelve. He didn’t know what he was doing either. He made tons of mistakes. You will too, but they don’t have to be the same ones.”

Marinette leaned up against the wall behind her, carefully considering every word. “Why are you telling me all this?” she whispered. 

He flipped the cookie over on its end and nibbled into the untouched end. Really, the whole cookie looked unmarred. They were going to be here all night. 

“You brought my kid back. You didn’t let him go. I figure I owe you a favor.”

She smiled softly. “You seem to care about him a lot.” 

He frowned. “He gives me only the finest of camembert!” he gushed. “Not every holder can pull that off, you know.” 

Marinette reached out and scratched the little cat behind his ear, and to her delight he leaned into the caress and purred. She suspected Chat Noir meant far more to the kwami than cheese, but she wasn’t going to call him out on it. 

“Tikki says you can’t ever take anything seriously.” 

He looked affronted. “I can be serious!” he argued. “When it’s important!” 

She giggled. “I can see that,” she conceded. “Thanks, Plagg! I think I needed to hear this.” 

“Like I said, I owed you a favor. It’s nothing more than that.”

“Oh, of course,” she agreed readily, an amused smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

He popped the rest of the cookie in his mouth, and gulped it down in one swallow. 

“So are we going to go meet my kid or what?” Plagg asked. “We shouldn’t keep him waiting all night! He’s going to think you’re still mad at him or something.” 

“Are you serious right now?” she screeched, staring at the stoic kwami in complete disbelief. “You were just pretending you had to eat that cookie so slowly?” 

He did the kwami equivalent of a shrug. “You asked me to hurry it up. And I did! Don’t know what you’re complaining about.”

“Oh my god! You’re impossible!” 

“Still waiting on you, Pigtails,” he countered smugly.

“Plagg, claws out!” she growled out, his laughter echoing in the humid frigid air around her even after he was sucked into the ring. 

Dark crackling energy enveloped her body from head to toe, thrumming with raw power and energy. Her normal transformation felt warm and comforting. And the black cat wasn’t cold - it was more like lightning. And once her transformation was complete she just needed to move, to run, to pounce, to be free. 

She vaulted from the ground, shooting off towards the monument of liberty that she could see clearly now that it had stopped raining, eager and excited to speak with her partner. 

As she approached, she could see he was already there - a spot of red that stood out against the green of the statue’s oxidized copper. He was sitting under that railing of Lady Liberty’s torch, his legs dangling playfully over the edge.

She vaulted up and landed next to him in a feline crouch. 

“M’lady!” he greeted brightly as if they hadn’t planned on meeting not twenty minutes prior. “I was starting to get worried. What happened?” 

“Plagg happened,” she growled. “Apparently, he eats cookies really really really slowly.” 

He laughed. And god, it was a gorgeous sound. One that she would never take for granted again. “Yeah, he’s pretty annoying when it comes to food.”

She sat down next to him, closer than she normally would have, wanting to have him close. She crossed her legs at the ankles and they stayed relatively calm compared to his active swinging. Neither of them spoke for a minute, they were just staring over the city of lights. The city that was not their own, but they had just saved. 

“Thank you,” she whispered into the silence. 

His spring-green eyes snapped to her in surprise. “For?”

“For coming back,” she told him simply, still not daring to look at him. If she looked at him she was fairly certain she would cry. And while tears were likely inevitable this evening, she didn’t want to start off with them.  

“I’m sorry for ever leaving,” he told her solemnly. 

“It’s…” she broke off. She was going to say that it was okay, but it wasn’t. “Thank you for saying that,” she said instead. “Can you promise me something?”

“Anything,” he said immediately. Her eyes jumped towards his face, surprised at his total lack of hesitation. He gazed back at her, his face calm and serene as the breeze that swept across their cheeks. 

“You don’t want to know what it is first?” she asked. 

He shook his head with a soft smile. The expression almost seemed familiar, but she couldn’t place it. “I already know I would do almost anything for you, M’lady. I thought you would have known that by now. And the one or two things I wouldn’t be able to do, you would never ask.” 

Heat bloomed across her cheeks at his raw faith in her. She was never certain how she had earned it.

“What did you want to ask?” he prompted when she still didn’t explain.

“Just that… next time, if there’s a next time, which I hope there won’t be,” she rambled. “But if there is a next time, can you please talk to me first? Before you make your decision?” 

He stared at her for a second. “Next time for what?” he finally asked. 

She glanced at him, then looked back down to her knees. “A next time you want to quit…” 

“Oh…” 

And then he said nothing. And she couldn’t stand it. Her gloved fingers writhed in her lap. 

“It’s just… you left without letting me say goodbye,” she confessed, her voice softer than the cold breeze. But she knew he could hear her. She looked back at him again, gauging his face for a reaction, but for once she couldn’t read him. “I…” she bit her lower lip in thought, and looked back down. “I don’t want you to be trapped in this. You’re never obligated to continue, but…” 

His hand, gloved in red and black, reached out to hers soothingly. “But?” 

Emerald green eyes blinked at her from behind a spotted mask, and she found herself missing the vertical pupils that came from wearing the black cat miraculous. When had his eyes stopped looking alien and strange to her? When had they become a source of comfort? 

“If you ever want to stop doing this, please… just let me say… goodbye,” she choked out over the massive rock that had just lodged itself in her throat. Hot tears fell from her eyes, over her mask. She hated crying in the mask.

He pulled her against him, she felt safe and warm in his arms. Her body responded by convulsing harder with wracking sobs. He rubbed her back soothingly, and rocked her back and forth. 

“Oh bug, I’m so sorry,” he said softly, and then he kissed the crown of her head. “Of course I promise.”

“The last thing I said to you was out of anger,” she sobbed into his chest. 

“Shhh… it’s okay. I’m right here. And I know you,” and she could hear the smile in his voice. “You were never going to let that be our last conversation. I’m apparently really bad at staying away even when I think it’s for the best.”

She stilled at his words, at the self deprecation in his tone. “Do you…?” she hesitated, carefully keeping her head down and not looking at his face. “Do you still... think it would be best for you to give up the miraculous?” 

He didn’t say anything. 

And suddenly, despite his arm around her shoulders, the night was freezing once again, overcast, dark, and grey. 

“Chaton?” she prompted. She was terrified of what he might say, but she had to know. She had to know if she could rely on him.

His head dropped, his forehead rested against the top of her braid. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “In the moment that I renounced Plagg, I did it because I just didn’t see any path back for me. I just kept making mistake after mistake. I didn’t want to keep letting you down.”

“You didn’t let me down,” she objected automatically.

Her partner laughed, but there was no amusement here. It was not the bright, rich laugh that came from his belly that she coveted and cherished. This laugh was bitter and dark.   

She huffed out a sigh. “Okay! Fine, you let me down, but not in some irreparable sense that you seem to be thinking.” 

His arms tightened around her. “I almost killed you today,” he whispered so softly she almost didn’t hear him. 

She sat up then, and traced the sides of his downturned face in both of her hands. She urged his gaze up to hers and waited until he was looking at her before speaking. “But you didn’t.” Her voice didn’t waiver.

His lower lip trembled and soon his whole body was quaking. She jerked him into her arms, and his head came to rest on her bony shoulder.

“I… I don’t know… w-what I would do… if I lost you,” he gasped out between sobs. 

“You’re the one that was going to leave,” she couldn’t help but point out dryly. 

His nose burrowed deeper into her shoulder. “Only because I am afraid that at some point I will screw up so badly, but instead of me… you’ll be the one to pay the price. I don’t want to be your partner if I am not the best one to protect you. You’re too important to me to let my ego or selfish tendencies get in the way.”

Her arms tightened around him. 

He looked up at her then. His eyes were glassy and as green as new spring grass. “But then Tikki said some things that made me think about it differently. That maybe coming back was more important?” 

He said it like it was a question. That he needed her confirmation more than anything. 

“Kitty, I don’t know how to convince you. I know you won’t be perfect. I won’t be perfect either. I know our mistakes have very real consequences for more than just us. And I would definitely appreciate it in the future, if anything that affects our responsibility changes, you would tell me rather than pretend like everything was taken care of.” 

He nodded in agreement.

“But you are it for me! I cannot do this with anyone else because you are the only person who was here with me through this whole crazy thing, the only person who has believed in me even before I believed in myself! You are the person that I trust the most. The only person that can really understand my life. That’s why today was so hard. I…” She broke off into tears.

She started sobbing uncontrollably, harder than either time before. Her throat was tight, and she felt like there was no air. She couldn’t talk, but she desperately needed him to hear these ones. 

“I… thought I was… n-never going to see you again,” she choked out. 

His hands traced her jaw as his thumbs brushed away her tears. “Do you want to know who I am?” he asked, his eyes serious. 

She laughed hysterically through her tears. Of course she wanted to know; she had always wanted to know. But she was still scared. Plagg’s advice about being in her own kind of Guardian warred with every word of caution Master Fu and Tikki had ever given her. Because learning who he was wasn’t something they could take back. 

She needed to think about this very carefully. But she wanted to just know. And she wanted to tell him.

“I’m serious,” he told her. “I will tell you right now. You don’t even have to reciprocate.” 

She sucked in a breath, trying to calm her racing heart, and smiled brightly at him. She wanted to give into his offer with every fiber of his being. But even if she wasn’t scared to know anymore, it was still probably wise to give it careful consideration before rushing into anything.

“I know who you are,” she told him. 

He started. “Y-you do? What gave me away?” 

Her smile grew, and her fingertips traced the side of his face. “No, that’s not what I mean. I don’t know your identity. But I do know you. You’re my partner. And my best friend. The boy I trust more than anyone else on this planet. And the most important person in my life. I know your heart.” She placed her other hand on his chest. His heart was racing, too. “I know you.”

She leaned forward before she could think about it too much. He met her halfway.

His lips were chapped, and his breath tasted of mint. His fingers found a home in the small of her back while hers became tangled in his golden locks. Everything about their contact was warm, sweet, and soft. 

She didn’t want the moment to end. 

It was perfect.

So when he started to pull away, her hands held him in place. And she could feel him smile against her lips. 

She finally pulled away with a gasp, and only because she had to breathe at some point, and she was rewarded with a dopey grin on his face with his masked eyes still slitted closed. 

She watched him fondly for a few seconds, her giddy smile likely echoing his own. But when he didn’t move, and he didn’t open his eyes, she grew impatient. 

“Chaton? You still there?” she teased lightly. 

“Yes, m’lady!” he answered brightly. But his eyes remained stubbornly closed.

She poked him in the shoulder. “Why are your eyes still closed?”  

He sighed happily. “Because I’m trying to memorize the best moment in my life so I can replay it later when I need it.” 

She snorted. “I can’t believe I fell in love with such a dork.”

His green eyes snapped open. “You love me?” he breathed out as if he could scarcely believe it. 

She curled her hands around his again. “Where the hell have you been?” she demanded. “Did Uncanny Valley not play you my message?” 

“She did, but…” 

“And you were here for that confession and kiss, right? You remember it? You weren’t under some akuma’s control or anything?” 

He shook his head, even as his fingers tightened around hers. “No, but you didn’t say love,” he objected.

She turned towards him again. “Chaton, the boy I told you about, the one I told you I loved?” 

He went rigid, his expression suddenly carefully neutral. “What about him?” he asked casually.

“He came on this trip with me,” she explained. “But today he left. I watched him drive away and it felt like he was leaving me. And it was hard. But it barely registered in comparison to the devastation I felt listening to your echoing footsteps fade away after you left your miraculous behind.”

His gaze dropped to their joined hands. “I’m sorry.” 

She shook her head. “I’m not trying to make you feel more guilty. I just… that’s how I knew.” 

She turned and kneeled before him, still not letting go of his hands. “I had to let go of both of you today,” she told him. “But you were the one where that did not feel possible. I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the lines you snuck into my heart, made it your own, and I don’t want you to leave. 

“Because I love you,” she whispered. 

His eyes turned glassy, but he was smiling. “I love you, too.” 

She couldn’t stand to see him crying even if they were tears of joy. So she leaned forwards and kissed him again. And then again and again until she lost count and they were both giggling like children.

“What does this mean?” he asked her later, when they were giggled out, and her head rested against his shoulder once again.  

She sighed. What she wouldn’t give to just be! Be here and now, and not have to worry about Paris or New York or decisions that she didn’t want to be the one to make! “I don’t know. I want us to be together, I think. But this is dangerous. But… Plagg said I needed to make my own rules.” 

He started. “Plagg said what?” 

She ignored his interjection. “And he was right! I… I’ve been trying to emulate Master Fu because he is the only example I have.”

“Plagg gave you advice…? Like useful advice?” Chat objected again. 

She frowned up at him. “You’re getting distracted, kitty.” 

“Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free arm. “Go on.” 

“I just worry that if Hawkmoth knows we’re in love, he’ll find a way to use it against us. Love makes us strong in so many ways, but it also makes us vulnerable.” 

He threaded his fingers with hers. And she had never thought she would enjoy holding hands with someone as much as she did.

“Do you really think he couldn’t have already done that before when assuming we were just friends?” 

She pursed her lips, considering. She supposed he had a point. She kept her identity a secret so that Hawkmoth couldn’t get at her through her family or friends. But Chat Noir had always been a friend she couldn’t hide.

“It’s just more pronounced, I think,” she concluded.

“Would you want to keep it a secret then?” he asked, his expression betraying nothing about how he felt about that idea. But she knew that was his way of being supportive by letting her take the lead. 

“Keeping our vulnerabilities secret does offer some protection. That’s the way Master Fu did it. He always stayed in the shadows and was secretive and he was able to protect the kwamis and to stay hidden for almost two centuries!”

“But?” he prompted when she stopped. 

And she smiled, pleased that he could read her so well. “But we’re on the front lines. We don’t have the luxury of staying in the shadows. It’s harder to build an impenetrable wall of secrets when you have to be out in public all the time fighting monsters. When you have to balance a double life without anyone noticing. When you struggle with so much, and can’t confide in anyone, or ask anyone for support…” 

And suddenly, now that she was really thinking about it, she was angry. Livid that she had been put in this situation where she was almost alone in keeping an entire city safe, and told that she could share that with no one. How long would it be before she broke? How long before she was akumatized? 

“Are you okay?” he asked softly. 

She shook herself out of her thoughts. “Yeah, I just… I didn’t realize that I was so angry. Master Fu dumped a lot of responsibility on me without leaving any avenues of support,” and she immediately tensed realizing how her words can be misconstrued. Her eyes jerked upwards to his. “I didn’t mean you,” she told him. 

He smiled. “No, I totally understand what you meant,” he assured immediately. And then his smile faded and his gaze turned distant.

“What is it?” she asked. 

“Do you want to give up your miraculous?” He asked softly, clearly afraid of her answer.

She jerked back violently. “What?! No!! I can’t give it up!” Even she was startled at how visceral her reaction was. “No,” she said again, her tone more calm. “It’s hard, yes. And definitely unfair. But it would just as unfair to put this burden on someone else.”

“But do you want to be Ladybug?” he asked again, this time his green eyes were intense and insistent, rather than worried. 

“I love being Ladybug,” she whispered back. “I love knowing that I have helped someone. I love being able to protect the people I care about. And well, even the challenge of figuring out how to defeat an akuma or interpret a lucky charm… It's empowering,” her voice grew louder the more she talked. “Just knowing that when the chips are down, I’m capable of thinking stuff out like that. Most people have to run when an akuma strikes, but not me. I have agency. I can do something. And I’m good at it!”  

“Damn good at it!” he agreed with a huge smile. 

She smirked. “And I suppose flying over the city by yoyo is pretty cool too,” she tacked on. 

“I had to ask,” he told her. “I want you to know you have an out, too.” 

“Thank you kitty. I appreciate that.”

“So if you’re committed to sticking it out, what do you want to do differently than Master Fu as the new Guardian?” he asked. “And whatever you decide, know that I will always support you.” 

Her eyes locked onto his. “I want to trust. I want to trust you completely. Maybe others too, but I want to start with you. I don’t want there to be secrets between us.”

She felt him freeze underneath her.

“So… does that mean…” he fidgeted nervously. “Tell me if I’m jumping the gun again, but may I tell you my name?”  

The question hit her like a lightning bolt, sending both her heart racing and her gut fluttering. Even though he had mentioned it earlier, this time felt different. Now, she felt ready. But she was still nervous. But not in the way that she used to be. She wasn’t worried for her friends and family because this was Chat! Her partner. He would give his life for her, she already knew. The idea even brought a sense of relief. 

No, the butterflies in her stomach were more a giddy nervousness. She tried to calm herself by breathing deeply. Knowing his name wouldn’t change how she felt about him. And she had to believe that his knowing hers wouldn’t change the way he felt either. 

“Only if you want to,” she said. God, she wanted him to tell her so bad, but she didn’t feel she had the right to demand anything after she had already put him off so many times. 

He grinned. “I’ve always wanted to. It works out for you, too, in this case because you’ll always be able to track me down when you need to yell at me for something without having to send a third party or worry that it will be our last conversation.” 

She laughed. “You sure you don’t want to wait like two weeks when we’re not so emotionally raw? When our heads are on straight?” It was the more pragmatic choice. There was no rush. They didn’t really have to burn through all the secrets between them in one evening. 

He barked out a laugh of his own. “Two weeks for you to come up with a million and three reasons about how bad of an idea it is?” He shook his head, even as he chuckled. “No, I don’t really want to wait for that.” 

“I’m not that bad!” she objected.

“Oh, yes, you are,” he grinned, darting in with a quick kiss to her nose, which she scrunched up in response. “It’s one of the many things I love about you.”

“Yeah, well! You’re so impulsive!” she countered, even as she grinned. 

“And you love me anyway,” he countered, cheekily.

Heat flooded her neck and face; even her ears felt hot in the cold air. “Yeah, yeah, I do.”

“I love you, too.” His voice was so soft, like velvet, and his eyes were even softer. Love poured from them. It was so intense it was hard to maintain eye contact. She had never felt more exposed or vulnerable. He had all of her heart. He had stolen it. 

But he didn’t say anything more, and it was driving her mad. 

“So…” she prompted, “What’s your name?”

He started, and then grinned again. “R-right!” He cleared his throat dramatically. “Adrien.” 

She reeled backwards as if burned. “W-what?!” she exclaimed. She thought she had been prepared for anything! She thought his name wouldn’t change anything. 

She had been wrong. 

“My name… it’s Adrien,” he repeated. 

Her eyes were bugged out of her head, and her jaw was on the balcony floor. But she didn’t know what to say. It couldn’t be him, could it? That would be too simple. And too unfair all at once! The universe was clearly laughing at her. It had been laughing at her for years! 

He frowned. “Is that bad?” 

She could hear the tremor in his voice. God, he was freaking out. She had to fix that. 

“N-no…?” she stammered. Crap! She was stammering. He was totally going to see straight through her. 

Would that be so bad? 

“Just… unexpected,” she said lamely. 

“Were you expecting a Louis, or an Antoine?” he asked jokingly, clearly trying to bury his vulnerability in silliness, but she could see through him. He was terrified. “What name did you give me in your head?”

“Chaton,” she whispered, squeezing his head, managing to look right into his anxious eyes.  

His whole form relaxed and his jokester face melted into the softest smile at her admission. And oh god, it was totally him. How had she never seen it before? She was such an idiot.

“Okay seriously,” he laughed. “What is wrong with the name Adrien?”

“Nothing!” she insisted. 

He kissed the knuckles of each of her gloved hands. “Then why are you freaking out?” 

So many panicked thoughts swirled through her brain just like it always did when she was trying to talk to Adrien. But this wasn’t just Adrien anymore, she reminded herself. This was her partner, her best friend, her love, and her Chaton. She had just said she wanted no more secrets between them not five minutes prior. 

She took a deep breath and prayed for courage. “Adrien might be the name of the boy I had a crush on,” she admitted. Somehow, it was easier to be indirect about it even though she already knew that it was him.  

“What were the chances that I have the same name as…?” And then his whole body stilled and his eyes widened. “Unless… No! I cannot be that lucky,” he mumbled more to himself than her. “But… you said…” His eyes searched hers. “You said… your crush walked away from you today. If that was me…” 

And suddenly his eyes watered and he was crying again. Only this time, she had no idea what was wrong. 

He couldn’t be that disappointed it was her, could he? The possibility had never occurred to her. 

“Chaton? What’s wrong?” 

He yanked her to him, his arms wrapped around her petite frame from both sides and he cried onto her shoulder.

“Marinette, I’m so sorry!” he sobbed.

And she shivered at her name on his lips, laden with such emotion. She felt her panic begin to fade. He definitely wasn’t disappointed. 

“For?” she asked.

“I walked away from you twice today.” 

And with those words the last of her fear faded away. She rubbed circles on his back. She hoped he found them soothing. 

“Chaton, it’s okay,” she reassured, feeling remarkably free herself. She had managed to confess to both of the boys she loved in one go!  And she was feeling much better about this whole Guardian business just as a bonus. “This makes things surprisingly simple,” she said, framing both sides of his face in her gloved hands. 

He shook his head and nuzzled his cheek into one of her hands. “I don’t deserve you,” he croaked out.

She shook her head. “I think you deserve the world, Chaton. That’s why I fought so hard for you to be able to come on this trip. I just didn’t realize you were also the person that I needed to stay behind.” 

He laughed through his tears. “You’re so amazing, Buginette. I have thought so this whole trip. Until I screwed up royally, I was thinking about asking you out when we got back to Paris. Marinette you, I mean.” 

“R-really?!” she squeaked. 

“Really!” 

“What changed?” She asked. “If I recall, Chat Noir already rejected Marinette.” 

“I don’t know that anything did. It’s like you said… I think you snuck in a long time ago and I just didn’t realize it because I was so focused on Ladybug.”

“Ladybug is pretty great, I guess,” she grudgingly admitted. 

“Ladybug is definitely amazing! I’ve looked up to her for a long time, but Marinette… she is so much more because she fights for justice without the benefit of a mask. She always stands up when it matters. She goes out of her way to include everyone, she gives people second chances. She gave me a second chance.”

Her eyes watered with his sweet, sweet words. 

“She was the first friend I really made on my own, and I think it’s one of the best things I have ever done, and I save Paris on a weekly basis!” 

A laugh tore through her tears, and he smiled back. 

She tilted her head up and kissed him, trying to convey how much his words meant to her. Because she could not put it into words. 

“I love you,” he finished when they pulled away. 

She grinned even though she was still crying. “I love you!”

She studied his face, his eyes sparkled and his mouth couldn’t stop smiling. Happiness suited him. She realized that she had never seen her partner completely one hundred percent joyful. She had never understood before that half his jokes and tendency to want to play around was one part outlet and another part defense mechanism, but now, he made so much more sense to her. And she loved him more. 

She hadn’t realized that was possible. 

“It makes sense now,” she confided. 

“What does?”

“Your attitude and personality as Chat Noir. You barely ever are allowed anything, so of course you go a little overboard when the opportunity presents itself. Ladybug has always primarily been a duty for me. Chat Noir is freedom for you. And well, if my miraculous was the only way I got to be free, I wouldn’t listen to my kwami either.”

He laughed. “Plagg actively encourages my rebellious moments,” he said, his eyes still gleaming. 

“Really?!” she scoffed. “No fair! Why did you get the fun kwami?” 

“He’s not that fun,” Adrien immediately disagreed. “Quite annoying really. He goes through so much expensive cheese you wouldn’t believe it. Nathalie still asks me questions about how much cheese I buy. And he makes a point of leaving cheese crumbs everywhere, which makes everything smell weird.” 

She ate up every word like a child on Christmas morning. It was so mundane, but they got to do this now! They got to share every bit of how their civilian and hero lives clashed. 

“But he’s definitely the nice one,” her partner concluded.  

“What?!” she screeched in mock outrage. “Blasphemy! Tikki is the sweetest!” 

He grinned. “She is definitely the mean one.”

“Whatever! I guess you should give her back to me then, since you clearly don’t appreciate her!” she bantered back. 

She hadn’t expected the immediate flash of pink light.

Tikki materialized a split second later, but Marinette spared no attention to her constant companion. She was looking at her unmasked partner. He stood before her, unfairly tall. His blond unstyled hair looked more like Chat’s than Adrien’s and she loved it. His cheeks were slightly pink, but his eyes…. It was like she had never seen them before, which was ridiculous because he was Adrien. She had seen them thousands of times before. But she had never seen them knowing he was her partner. They were emerald-green, and they were shining with complete trust and love, and she was lost in their depths. 

She traced the curve of his jawline with a gloved hand, but her eyes never left his even when she started tearing up all over again. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

His golden eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion. “For?”

“For making you wait so long for this moment,” she confessed. She was so mad at herself for costing them so much time when they could have been supporting each other completely in both parts of their lives. 

He smiled. And she could see her kitty in his face and it was amazing! 

He turned his head into the hand on his face and kissed her palm. “You had to be ready. I know I was less patient on some days, but I’m glad that we waited until we both were ready.” 

Maybe he was right. It was better this way because if it had happened sooner she might have combusted realizing it was Adrien and been unable to talk to him. Or she might have been angry if he had shared before she thought it was okay. And this… this was better. 

She dissolved her own transformation in a flash of green. Plagg was there immediately, glanced between them in their civilian forms, and he smirked. 

“Oh thank god!” he exclaimed. That was as far as he got before Tikki swooped in, and wrestled him out of sight. 

Adrien carefully took out his earrings, and they reverted to their red and black form in his hands. He held them up, gesturing to the side of her head. “May I?” he asked. 

A blush bloomed across her face at the question. She nodded, not trusting herself to form words. 

His bare hands gently pushed a few errant strands of her hair behind her ear, before he carefully slipped one earring into her right ear. “Thank you for making me come back and thank you for trusting me with… yourself and everything else.” 

He moved to the other side of her head and slipped in the second earring just as gently. “I promise to do everything I can to live up to your trust in me.” 

Then he kissed her forehead before pulling slightly away, but she captured his hand before he could escape entirely. 

She caressed each finger one by one, and then took off his miraculous, which was a rose gold on her hand, but instantly turned black when it was free of her finger. She watched in fascination as it turned silver when she placed it on his finger. 

“I want to thank you for always supporting me, for being patient,” she started. 

“Mostly patient,” he interjected, his voice light with teasing. She pushed a finger to his lips.

“Hush! It’s your turn to listen." 

He nodded, his eyes sparkling with mischief. It was such a Chat expression on Adrien’s face. And that made her smile. 

“I want to thank you,” she began again. “For always being there when no one else was, for picking me up in my lowest moments, for giving me advice, for being a bright spot in the darkness.” 

“Can I get a do over?” He asked, his voice cracking with emotion. 

“Nope!” She snapped back playfully. She had loved what he had said. “And I promise to be transparent with you as the Guardian the way Fu never was.”

She kissed his hand. Then he pulled her up and his lips met hers again. He was so warm. And he was sending tingles down to her toes. 

Would she ever get used to his kisses? 

She hoped not. 

He pulled away just slightly and her vision was filled with his green eyes. “It feels like we just got married,” he told her. 

Heat rushed from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. “I don’t think I’m ready for that. But… maybe someday?” she suggested with a shy smile. 

He grinned back. “I look forward to that day.” 

She did, too.

…

Chapter Text

Marinette choked back a cry as her eyes landed on the black butterfly that fluttered towards her. She slid down to the ground, and pulled her knees to her chest. How had she sunk this low? Yeah, her day had sucked, but it was the suck of an ordinary bad day where everything seemed to go wrong.

But it shouldn’t have been soul ending. Ladybug’s responsibilities hadn’t interrupted Marinette’s life at all. Chloé hadn’t been picking on or undermining her. Lila hadn’t cornered her in the bathroom, and while her history teacher was probably irritated that she had run out of class, she wasn’t facing a potential expulsion.

It was just an ordinary bad day. 

Surely, not anything worthy of an akuma. Especially not an akuma for Ladybug .

Marinette should have been able to handle it. She always handled it. She just needed to breathe deeply and calm herself down.

And yet, the akuma fluttered ever closer.

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed. “You need to breathe.” 

Marinette choked off a sob, scuttled backwards on her butt away from the sparkling butterfly, and did as her kwami advised. She took long and even breaths, trying to soothe herself, but she was losing the battle. Her tears threatened to claw back up her throat anyway.

It had been an absolutely terrible day.

It had started with the nightmares. She hadn’t been able to fall into slumber without tearing awake an hour later with her pajamas sticking to her sweat soaked form, struggling for air. On a bad night, Marinette didn’t always remember the haunting images that plagued her attempts at rest, but she would tear awake with a pounding heart and crying eyes just the same. 

But this night, the dreams were far too vivid. In some, she faced the concerned faces of her friends and family, but she didn’t know their names. In another, she lived underground, living off rats after Hawkmoth’s dystopian wish came to fruition in the form of iron-clad authoritarian rule. But the worst nightmare featured Chat Blanc’s soulless blue eyes staring straight through her - never seeing his partner and friend. He hunted her through forests covered in winter white, or he threw her off the tallest building in Paris. And in the last one, he hadn’t tried to hurt her at all. 

No, he had tried to turn his cataclysmic power on himself. 

He had been so alone. Died alone in a desolate world. 

She hadn’t been able to save him.

And after that, she had been unwilling to try again for sleep.

It felt like she hadn’t slept at all. Her head existed in a fog with a dull ache between her temples. Her thoughts and motivation were even more sluggish than usual this morning. She wished that she could just sleep through one whole night just once this week. Was that too much to ask? 

When she hadn’t made it out of the bathroom quickly enough, her mother had been kind enough to leave a breakfast tray on her desk. Only, with a towel over her head as she was drying her hair, Marinette hadn’t seen it. She had knocked the whole tray - strewn with eggs, toast, and coffee - over onto the floor when she stumbled past. It wouldn’t have been a big deal except she had a project laid out on the floor. A pattern pinned in place that she hadn’t cut out yet. The coffee alone no doubt ruined the fabric she had spent months saving up to buy. 

Marinette fell to her knees in front of the disaster. 

Her mother found her there still clad in only her towel, staring stoically over the lost project. 

When thin warm arms wrapped around her, Marinette’s started in surprise. 

“Oh Marinette, I’m so sorry,” her mother apologized. “I didn’t mean to risk your project. I was trying to save you some time.” 

Marinette shook her head against her mother’s chest. “It wasn’t your fault,” the teenager responded tonelessly. “I didn’t see it.” 

“I can’t promise anything,” her mother soothed, as her hand rubbed warm circles along her back. “But I will try to save the fabric.” 

Marinette nodded, but she couldn’t bring herself to tear her eyes from the disaster. She didn’t know what she was feeling, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good. And it wasn’t really about the fabric. It was about everything .

If Ladybug hadn’t been needed last night, no doubt Marinette would have finished cutting the pieces out, and had the project tucked away safely. 

If Marinette wasn’t the Guardian, she would have had more time to earn more money to replace the loss, and she would have more time in general to recreate the now soggy patterns. More time to spend on the things that brought her joy.

As it was, Papillon had her up and running frantic at all times of day and night. 

It wasn’t fair.

“Marinette, I will clean this up,” her mother assured her, still rubbing her back. “Do you think you could start getting ready for school again?”

Marinette stumbled to her feet, and began the usual mad dash to collect all her things before heading off to school. 

She was only five minutes late by the time she ran out the door, with a ham and cheese quiche in her bag as a second attempt at sustenance. It wasn’t until she had fallen into her usual seat beside her best friend that she realized she had forgotten her essay. 

The essay that she had actually completed, proofread, edited, and printed out. The assignment was no doubt still laying in her printer’s document tray on her desk in her room. 

She let her head fall to the desk in frustration. Why did it have to be for Mendeliev? Any other teacher would have let her retrieve the paper during lunch and turn it in for full credit. But Mendeliev? While the science teacher was never very sympathetic with anyone, she had lost all patience with Marinette and her scatterbrained tendencies months ago.

Which is why Marinette’s grade was in jeopardy. She could not afford this late penalty. Having to retake the course in summer school was the absolute last thing she needed to add onto her plate.

At the end of class she had asked anyway, but the stern science teacher glared down her nose. “We’ve already had this conversation, Marinette,” she said coldly. “I’ve no interest in repeating it now.” 

Her head hung low, Marinette trudged into the hallway barely noticing the bustle of students around her. Until one of them crashed into her and icy cold swept across her front. 

“Oh my god! Marinette!” Rose’s shrill voice punctuated her shock. “I’m so sorry!” 

“Marinette!” another voice crooned mockingly. “Finally found a fashion statement that suits your personality, I see!” 

“Shut up, Chloé!” Alya barked already at her friend’s side, trying to help wring out the dark liquid from Marinette’s original shirt. 

Marinette crumpled like paper on the spot. Hot tears sprang to her eyes, her throat closed up, and her chest felt tight.  

Rose squeezed her hand, as tears sprang to her blue eyes. “Marinette,” she sobbed. “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. I was just running to meet Juleka. It was an accident. Please forgive me.” 

Marinette squeezed Rose’s hand in return. “I-it’s okay, Rose. I-I know it was an accident. Today… today, has just…” and she choked on the words. 

“Ladies!” Damocles’ voice barked across the courtyard. “Get to class!” 

“But sir!” Alya objected. “Marinette needs to get cleaned up.” 

The principal eyed the three girls. “Marinette is fully capable of cleaning herself up in the restroom. You and Rose need to get to class.” 

Her friends glared daggers at the principal’s disapproving frown, but eventually shouldered their bags, and turned towards class with sympathetic smiles and slumped shoulders

Suddenly, Marinette stood alone in the courtyard in her sopping wet blouse. She blinked her eyes furiously, beating back the tears that threatened to fall. When she could breathe easily again through the lump in her throat she picked up her bag, and made her way slowly to the bathroom. 

But within the privacy of the tiny girl’s bathroom, her emotions caught up with her again, and was soon weeping softly as she tried unsuccessfully to dab the coffee out of her pale pink shirt. 

How much was too much, before a girl couldn’t take it anymore?

She fought against the thought, and forced her breathing to slow until she could dam up the flow of tears. She could do this.

She was Ladybug. 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. 

Alya: Hey girl. I just received a slip to leave for a dentist appointment. I have to go. Are you going to be okay? 

The words blurred for a second, before Marinette stubbornly wiped her eyes, and recentered her breathing all over again. Of course, she would be okay. 

She was Ladybug. 

She typed back a quick response assuring Alya that she would manage.  

After she finished rinsing her shirt the best she could, and using a hand dryer to get it down to damp rather than soaking, she returned to class. 

Marinette ducked under the teacher’s disapproving gaze, and scrambled to her seat. 

History proved to be particularly dreary that day. The teacher was just droning on and on. She would have had difficulty enough paying attention on a normal day. As it was, Marinette’s emotional reserves were shot and with Alya gone for her appointment, and Adrien absent for who knew what, there was nothing there to distract her. Soon, she caught herself nodding off. 

“Marinette!” Her teacher’s sudden unexpected voice tore her from her unsanctioned nap. “If you stay awake in class, you might actually score higher than a D on the next exam.” 

And that was the straw she could not handle. Tears burst from her in uncontrolled torrents. Right in the middle of class. Consoling and judgmental comments alike had poured in around her.

She didn’t wait for the teacher to call the class back to order. Instead, she bolted for the exit.

She had thought she could soothe herself in the privacy of the empty hallway, but instead she had found herself on the ground, backed into a corner on her butt, face to face with an akuma.  

It honestly was almost pretty. Electric violet sparkled across the butterfly’s black fluttering wings. 

Some part of her wanted to reach out and touch it. 

Because Marinette was sick of crying, tired of being the bigger person, and far too aware that her thin shoulders could not bear the weight of protecting an entire city from a terrorist indefinitely. 

She had no fall back position. She was it! A sixteen year old girl. Who thought that was a good idea ?

If she was going to lose someday anyway, why not today? 

Tikki’s bulbous form flew into her face and took up her entire field of vision. 

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed. “You need to breathe,” she added gently. 

Marinette nodded, trying to follow those directions. 

Because she couldn’t be akumatized. No one would know Ladybug was out of commission. No one could bring out extra allies from the miracle box.

But her throat was tight and her chest felt hollow and she just wanted to curl up on herself and cry.

Chat Noir would have to face her alone. 

The butterfly melted into her earrings. She felt them grow hot, but she couldn’t move as the electric violet flooded her vision. 

Hello, Lady Liberty. 

His voice was cold, but booming. It seemed to scream from inside her own head. Her hands clutched either side of her face. 

“Marinette!” Tikki yelled, but Marinette had to strain to hear her. 

You bear a heavy load. Let me ease your burden by allowing you to let it all go. You can be free.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks. Marinette wanted to let go. She wanted to be free. 

But Tikki was still screaming, and Marinette knew her kwami was the one she ought to be listening to. “Don’t fight your feelings! If you fight them, they double down. Try to accept them. Forgive yourself, Marinette. Have patience and compassion for yourself. Please! Can you do that?” 

Marinette nodded, but who was she nodding to? She didn’t know.

I grant you the power to free everyone from the burdens they carry.

Marinette nodded again.

“Think of something that makes you feel safe and loved,” the other voice interrupted urgently. “Something that makes you have hope! Go to that place on your mind, Marinette.”

Her mind instantly flooded with visions of her partner.

Being tangled up with him in the string of her yoyo the first time they met. He hadn’t been upset. He hadn’t doubted her ability. He had been excited and wanted to know her name. 

Him diving in front of her to take a hit only to instantly fade from existence. But he had smiled, just for a moment. Like he had died happy knowing he had protected her. 

His infuriating smirk every time he managed to pull off a stupid joke at a ridiculous time or one up her in some ridiculous competition. 

He gave her advice - patient and heartfelt - even when she was asking for advice about confessing to another boy.

His arms wrapped around her - solid and safe - after her biggest mistake that had cost her a mentor. His faith and trust in her had never waivered.

And suddenly, she was laughing through her tears.

She was in love with Chat Noir.

When had that even happened?  

It didn’t matter, but the revelation made one thing crystal clear: She couldn’t be akumatized. 

That would leave her partner alone.

And she would never do that to him.

Marinette gasped for air as the butterfly broke away. The akuma couldn’t hold her. Not like this, not with the joy that flooded her form at the realization that she could be happy - that she could make her kitty happy.

The winged creature flapped away, and Marinette sagged to her knees. Her bones felt like jelly, but she was giggling hysterically. 

The black butterfly flew away. Only once it was out of sight did it occur to her that she should have transformed and purified it. 

But she hadn’t been thinking at all, and now Ladybug was going to have to deal with an akuma.

She supposed that was better than Ladybug being the akuma.

Muffled screams pierced the silence, followed by the sound of a classroom door slamming open.

Marinette didn’t move immediately. She remained huddled up on the floor unmotivated to get to her feet. Students evacuated from their rooms - some more orderly than others. Despite the chaos around her, Marinette remained unaffected by it. 

Even an explosion rocking the ground beneath her legs still folded underneath her form, was not enough to bring her out of her funk. Paris could wait for five minutes. 

“Well, look at you!” Chat Noir’s booming voice echoed from the courtyard. “Aren’t you a regular class act?”

Marinette was running for a safe spot to transform before she had made the conscious decision. While she was willing to make Paris wait, she couldn’t leave her partner fighting for a second longer than necessary.

Not ever. 

No matter how done she wanted to be with this day. 

“M’lady!” He greeted happily when she landed beside him.

“What’ve we got?” 

“Apparently a pop quiz burst this kid’s bubble !” Her partner reported, his green vertical pupils never leaving their adversary. “Apparently he was angling for an A in Geometry.”

She sighed. How mundane. “His teacher is the target?”

“Monsier Fontaine,” he clarified.

She nodded. “Let’s get this over with, kitty.” 

The akuma wasn’t particularly dangerous, which wasn’t surprising since she knew he hadn’t been Hawkmoth’s first choice.

But Ladybug was having trouble keeping her head in the game - she was still raw and shaky from too close a call. She stumbled through an easy dodge more than once. But Chat was always there hauling her to her feet or blocking the attack.

Once he had her upright and centered for the fourth time, she wasted no more time waiting for an opening and immediately called for her lucky charm.

A spotted frying pan fell into her hands. She blinked at the pan, her mind remaining stubbornly blank. She had no clue what to do with this!

“What amazing plan will you cook up next?” Chat grinned at her, his baton spinning in his hands blocking another blow.

She looked into his smiling eyes, and everything instantly fell into place. God, he always was exactly what she needed. Of course she had fallen in love with him.

The battle lasted another twenty-two seconds.

But when Chat Noir offered her a fist for their traditional victory fist bump, she knocked it aside and seized him in a hug instead.

He stiffened for a second, but then his tension fell away and his arms encircled protectively around her. “LB? Are you okay? I didn’t think that battle was that hard. I certainly don’t remember dying that time.”

“Shut up!” she whispered into his chest as she clung to him.

His arms tightened around her. “As you wish, M’lady.” His head leaned against her own and she stood there feeling the comfort of his solid warm frame holding her upright. They just stood there for several seconds. Everything was quiet. Then his chest was vibrating. Was he purring? 

She hadn’t known he could do that. 

She nuzzled her cheek into his chest, closer to the soothing vibration. 

“LB, are you okay?” he asked again. 

She shook her head. “I just had a really bad day.” 

Her earrings beeped in warning, but she remained within his embrace.

He sighed and melted against her. “Who do I need to beat up?” he mumbled.

She giggled. “I’ll text you my list.”

“I’ll take care of it by end of day tomorrow,” he joked, his voice tickling her inner ear.

She knew he was joking, but she grinned anyway. He was always on her side, no questions asked. 

“I need to talk to you somewhere private. Where do you think would be safe from prying eyes?”

He pulled away just an inch and searched her face intently. She had no idea what he saw, and she quickly found her gaze falling into her hands, a heated blush creeping out from under her mask.

“Do you remember that café we went to after patrol last week?”

She nodded.

“There’s a deep balcony in the alleyway about three stories up. The building is closed for renovations, but the balcony is untouched.

“Perfect. Go recharge, and meet me there?” She requested.

“See you in ten, M’lady!”

Ladybug launched herself up out of the school’s courtyard and onto Paris’s rooftops. Her earrings beeped again. She ducked behind a chimney, and let the transformation fall. Tikki fell into her hands. 

Tikki didn’t take her offered cookie. Instead, the kwami flew up to Marinette’s face and nuzzled her head into Marinette’s cheek. “Are you okay, Marinette?” 

Marinette leaned into the affectionate gesture. “I’m exhausted, Tikki. I feel raw and numb. But not as upset. Thank you, by the way. I would not have survived that without you.” 

“I’m always happy to support you. I am sad that it was necessary today.”

Marinette stroked the top of her kwami’s head. “I’m going to tell him who I am.”

To her relief, Tikki didn’t object. Instead, the kwami nodded. “I understand. But if you’re emotionally done for today, just know you don’t have to talk to Chat Noir right this second. It can wait until tomorrow or next patrol.”

Marinette shook her head. “Today proved that not telling him is a potentially huge risk. I am not going to sleep again until I fix it. And plus, he deserves to know. He’s wanted to know for so long.” She trailed off for a moment as her feelings caught up with her all over again. “He’s going to be so happy,” she whispered, a tear slipped down her cheek even as she giggled. 

“You love him?” Tikki asked with a soft smile. 

“I don’t even know when it happened!” Marinette exclaimed. “And that stupid cat is never going to let me live it down,” she grumbled. 

Tikki did a happy little dance in the air. “I’m happy for you, Marinette. You deserve to be happy.” 

“Thank you, Tikki. Now, let’s go.” 

Tikki inhaled the cookie in two gulps. Marientte called for her transformation and launched herself into the skyline once again, her heart light even if butterflies fluttered in her stomach with nervous energy. 

She arrived at their meeting place. He was already there sitting in a lotus position frowning into space. His expression brightened when he caught sight of her. 

“Are you okay?” he asked for the third time, his eyes shining with concern. 

And she found herself lost in his gaze - sincere and yet, incredibly open. How had she ever turned this boy down? 

“I…” she trailed off, unable to find words. She just needed to say it. Why was she hesitating? This was going to make everything easier and he would be thrilled, wouldn’t he? He had always wanted to know. 

But he hadn’t asked in a long time. Maybe he had moved on. Like she had asked him to.

She shook her head at herself. It didn’t matter. She had been akumatized. This wasn’t about what either of them felt. Not telling him was putting millions in danger every single day. 

She found herself smiling.

“M’lady?”

She dropped down next to him, deep into the private balcony with walls on three sides. The balcony wasn’t designed to have a view. She suspected its function was just to allow the inhabitants to be outside. 

“Tikki, spots off,” she whispered. 

“Woah! What are you doing?” he demanded, turning his head away. 

That wouldn’t do. She took his face gently between her hands. He didn’t resist as her skin tight suit peeled away in a ripple of pink light. 

He just stared at her, his eyes wide in shock. “M-Marinette? But… I saw you… and L-ladybug.”

“Fox miraculous,” she explained. 

“Ah,” was all he managed to say, his beautiful green eyes wide with shock. 

“I-is this okay?” she asked. 

He blinked at her dumbly. “Uh, y-yes, of course it is, m’lady! More than okay! Just completely unexpected.”

“You don’t have to reciprocate,” she told him. 

He blanched. “Are you kidding me?! Plagg, cla-” 

She pinched his lips closed with her bare hands. “No! Wait! Let’s talk first. You can reveal yourself after if you still want to.”

“But I…” he objected, his body tense and unmoving. 

She covered his mouth again. “Please?”

He sagged against her hold. She didn’t remove her hand until he nodded. “Whatever you need, M’lady Princess.”

Every muscle in her body loosened at the new combined affectionate nickname. Princess. She was his princess. And his lady. 

“Tikki?” Marinette called. 

The kwami nodded. 

“Spots on.” And she let her magical energies wrap her once again in its protective warmth.

Chat’s eyes were as wide as canyons as he watched her display. “Wow! That was… amazing. Your transformation is like a dance. You’re so graceful. I mean… I knew that, but this is just like the epitome of...”

She covered her face with her gloved hands, trying to cover the heat she felt growing from the bottom of her mask. “Please, stop,” she begged. How was she ever going to tell this boy what she needed to when he kept sending her thoughts and feelings scrambling in a million different directions with gushing praise? 

He grinned. “I can’t help it,” he objected. “You’re so amazing. I mean... I already knew that, but now…” he trailed off and really looked at her. “I’ve suspected you more than once. I just…  But after kwami buster, I assumed it was just wishful thinking.”

Her jaw dropped. “You wanted me to be her?” 

He barked a laugh. “You have no idea.”

Her blush bloomed from her cheeks to the very tips of her ears. But she didn’t know what to say, and the silence stretched between them. 

“So… uh…” his hand rubbed the back of his neck. “What changed your mind?”

She wrapped her arms around her stomach in an attempt to soothe herself - to assure herself that she hadn’t truly become an akuma. She hadn’t betrayed her duty or her partner in that low moment. “I just... I need you to know.” It was all she managed to say before her throat seemed to snap closed, choking off everything else she needed to say. 

“It must’ve been some bad day to convince you to go against the prime directive of superheroing,” he offered, his voice gentle and soft. 

And she laughed, but within seconds her mirth transformed into tears and she was finally crying, the sobs tearing through her. 

His arms instantly wrapped around her. And she fell into his embrace and just let herself cry. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m right here,” he soothed, his hands rubbing comforting circles on her back. 

And she cried herself out. It was a good cry. A release of not just the day, but also of all the tension and stress she had carried for weeks, or maybe years, with no place to unburden herself.

Until today. 

“What happened?” he asked when her cries had finally faded. 

The question was thrilling. Amazing even because it occurred to her that for the first time since taking up the mantle of Ladybug, for the first time in years , she didn’t have to filter anything .

“It’s stupid really. Just a bunch of little things that all added up.” And she told him all of it. About the nightmares, and she’d tell him about the reality of Chat Blanc soon. But for now, she stayed focused on the day. She spoke of her ruined fabric, her feelings that mishap had triggered about being Ladybug and the Guardian, about her blouse getting ruined, about her friends not being there in class, and her stupid stupid teachers wo just didn’t understand that homework could never be her top priority. “And I could have handled all of it, I swear! It’s just so hard on top of all of this. The akuma was the last straw.”

“Akumas do have the worst timing,” he commented. 

She sighed. He didn’t realize that she didn’t mean the monster they just fought, but the raw little black butterfly. 

“It was meant for me,” she admitted softly. “It actually succeeded in melding with my earrings.”

He turned rigid underneath her, suddenly as frozen as an ice sculpture. 

Her grip around him tightened. “And you know what I was most angry about, Chaton?” she continued, determined to get all of it out. “I wasn’t angry at Papillion. Not really. I was just upset that I couldn’t let myself be akumatized. I’m the only person in Paris who isn’t allowed to just say “fuck it” and let the butterfly take me. The only person who isn’t allowed to have a bad day. I want to be able to have a bad day!”

“I want to be able to let myself be akumatized, and just be able to trust that Ladybug and Chat Noir will take care of it. Why don’t I get that?”

She pulled back just enough to see his face, and she was horrified to see the tear tracks down his cheeks. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!”

His eyes landed on hers. “Whatever for?” he demanded.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” she admitted, brushing his tears away with her thumb. “I’m sorry that I’m so pathetic. That I wasn’t strong enough.”

He pulled back, and turned her so they were looking right at one another eye to eye. He had a hand on either one of her shoulders. She felt like he was staring directly into her soul, but she couldn’t look away. She had never once seen him so serious. 

“Buginette, I need you to hear me right now,” he paused as if expecting her to object. When she didn’t, he continued. “You are the strongest person I know. From what you said, I gather that you were able to throw off an akuma after it had gotten you.” 

She nodded confirmation. 

“I’ve never known anyone to do that. I didn’t know it was possible. Maybe someone has done it before. I guess I wouldn’t have a way of knowing, but… I guess what I’m saying is that you’re not pathetic. Not even close. You’re so strong, and incredibly resilient. And I don’t know how you’ve done everything you do as Ladybug and as Marinette for so long.”

His eyes bored into hers, never once did he look away. 

“And you’re allowed to be human, Buginette. And this feels weird to say, but I want you to be able to have a bad day, too.”

She laughed. And he smiled in response, touching his forehead to hers. His compelling green eyes filled up her whole vision.

“I’m sorry that you’ve felt so alone in holding the mantle of Ladybug. I’m sorry that I haven’t been here in the way that you needed.” 

She shook her head. “That’s not true! You’ve always been here. You’ve always given me what I needed even when I didn’t realize. And me feeling alone was more my fault than yours,” she insisted. “I’m the one that insisted on keeping our identities secret. I thought it was too dangerous to share our identities.”

She pressed her lips together in thought. 

“But when I was facing that akuma, I realized that not sharing is dangerous, too. That I’ve been keeping all my secrets in one basket. And while that makes them harder to lose, it also makes me more vulnerable. If I hadn't been able to fight off that akuma, you wouldn’t have had any back up and you wouldn’t have known that Ladybug wasn’t coming.” 

“You’d likely be an absolutely terrible akuma,” he commented. “I mean, you kick ass without anything boosting your skills. I’m going to have nightmares about akumanette now.” His tone was light.

She stuck her tongue out at his teasing. He smirked. 

She allowed the moment of silliness before growing solemn and serious once again. “Master Fu kept all his secrets in one basket and kept himself hidden for over a century. He told one person - me . And less than two years went by, and all it took was one stupid thoughtless mistake on my part and it all came toppling down!” 

Chat squeezed her shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s also easier for him to stay hidden and keep secrets when there aren’t akumas out terrorizing the street every other day!”

“And I don’t even know how to do this as well as him,” she continued to rant as if he hadn’t spoken. “And I am falling apart, Chaton,” she broke into soft sobs again.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed. “I’m right here. And now that I know who you are, I’m going to be so present and so supportive you’re going to wish that you had never revealed your identity!” 

She traced the curve of his jawline with two fingers. “In this moment, I really don’t think I’m going to regret any of this.” 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “For?” 

“For trusting me. I promise I will do everything in my power to protect you, your secret, and by extension, your loved ones.” 

She nuzzled further into him, her head resting on his collar bone. She didn’t want to be caught crying again. 

“I don’t know if I’m worth your devotion, Chaton,” she whispered. 

His arms tightened around her waist. “Shhh! Don’t say that. It’s not true.” 

The tears flowed before she could stop them. “I-I don’t know how… to be the Guardian,” she confessed.

He only smiled. “You didn’t know how to be Ladybug at first either. You rose to that challenge beautifully.”

Her lips twisted into a displeased frown. “Only because I had such an amazing partner,” she said emphatically. 

“I only have ever followed your example,” he told her. “You taught me to be a hero.”

She laughed. This boy. He never stopped. “God, I love you.”

Chat Noir looked like she had clubbed him with a two by four. His eyes were overblown, and his mouth open in a little ‘o’ of surprise.

She bit her lip, trying to assess his reaction because for once in his life he was being infuriatingly silent. “I meant it. It wasn’t just a slip. I actually love you.” 

He blinked at her, unmoving.

“P-please say something,” she begged. 

“I… uh…” 

She wilted at his hesitation. “I thought you’d be happy…” 

He pulled her against his form, tucking her head under his chin. “Trust me, Bugaboo, I am over the moon! I’m not sure that this day could get any better honestly. I’m just also in shock and more than a bit confused.”

She relaxed into his embrace, melting at how natural it felt to be held in his arms.

“Since when do you love me?” he asked, his voice barely louder than a gentle breeze.

“I think it’s been a while now, but I realized it just today,” she confided into his chest. 

“How?” 

“When we saw the akuma, Tikki told me to go to my happy place and I thought of you,” she sat up and looked up at him then. “You’re the only place anymore I feel safe and completely understood. And I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner.” 

“What about your friends?” he whispered, his eyes swirling with an emotion she could not label. 

“They’re great. But they can’t understand... and it’s not like I can explain it to them.” 

“What about the boy you love?” 

“I had to let him go.” 

“Why?” 

She leaned up against him once again, her gaze falling to their feet. “I couldn’t share all myself with him. And he doesn’t need all my baggage. Plus, I think I already missed my chance. He’s in love with someone else.” 

She could hear his frown. “How do you know?” 

“He told me.” 

“He told you he was in love with someone else,” he repeated, the disbelief clear in his voice. 

“You don’t believe me?” 

“I find it hard to believe that he could love anyone else when he knows you.”

She rolled her eyes. “He told me that the girl he loved didn’t like his jokes, and since I was sitting right next to him in his fancy limo car when he said it, I knew he wasn’t talking about me.”

He went rigid underneath her. She jerked up, and searched his face. “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing!” he said, turning his gaze away. 

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

He gaze swung back to her, his cheeks burning in the most beautiful pink. “I just find it impossible that he wasn’t talking about you.” 

She gave him a flat look. “He definitely wasn’t talking about me.”

Chat’s gloved hands cupped both sides of her face. “He was actually.” 

She was lost in his intense gaze. 

“He just didn’t know it was you,” he whispered. 

She stared at him for several seconds, but she shook herself and pulled away. “How would you know? You weren’t there!” she objected.

His claws scratched at the back of his neck. Her eyes zeroed in on the action. It was familiar. 

“I know you don’t believe me, but It’s true. He was talking about you,” he insisted, looking right over at her. “You never have liked my jokes.” 

“That’s not true! It’s not the jokes that suck!” she objected. “Though they are a bit lame,” she tacked on softly. “But it’s the timing! Your timing sucks!”

And then her expression faded. Her eyebrows scrunched towards each other under the pressure of the mask. “Wait, a second. I have never liked your jokes?”

“Well, you definitely didn’t like it when I pretended to be a wax model.”

She felt her face go slack, her eyes overblown and gaping. “A-Adrien?” she whispered. 

“Hi?” He gave her a self conscious little smile. 

“H-hi,” she managed back, her voice too high.

His whole face lit up in understanding. “Oh my god! You always stuttered around me because you liked me?”

Her cheeks burned hot.

“I was convinced forever that you didn’t like me at all, or that I was intimidating somehow for being a fashion icon,” he rambled.

“You were intimidating,” she broke in. “You were so kind and genuine. And just… incredibly patient. I liked you so much. I was terrified of messing things up. Which I did constantly, because I am such a spaz.” 

His whole form softened, and he offered her the smallest most sincere smile and she gasped. Seriously, how had she never recognized him before this. 

His hand slowly moved towards hers and he wove their fingers together, before touching his forehead to hers ever so gently. “Nothing has ever been messed up. You have always amazed me on both sides of the mask. I fell in love with Ladybug when she stood up to Hawkmoth on our first day on the job. I love the way her brain works and how her creative genius can find victory when she has almost nothing to work with.” 

“And I’ve always admired Marinette for the way she goes out of the way to make everyone feel welcome - even stray cats that land on her balcony, the way she expects others to do the right thing, and the way she stands up when someone else doesn’t live up to those ideals. I love when her eyes get so big when she’s nervous and I positively love the moments when she trips over her own feet.” 

She smacked him playfully, heat blazing from her neck to her ears. “Shut up! You do not!” 

He laughed. “I do though! It gives me an excuse to touch her.”

She went still, her brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Every time you trip, I get to catch you or offer you a hand to get back up. I love those moments, Marinette. I’ve always cherished them.” 

“Really?” She asked, her voice small, her eyes filling with emotion she could not define.

“Really,” he assured. 

She moved before she thought about it. She literally threw herself at him, and he barely caught her; he was so startled. But he did catch her. Because he always caught her. And that made it really easy to kiss him. 

Her lips pressed against his. And she took satisfaction from the fact that he took him a second to react, that she had managed to catch him off guard.

But then he did respond and she didn’t have the space for thought. 

His hands cupped the base of her skull, cradling her whole head. His claws gently kneaded into her hair, sending tingles shooting down her neck and all the way down her spine. And his lips - they were so soft. As soft as a baby’s newborn skin. He gently sucked in on her lower lip causing her to gasp. They were sharing the same breath. His tongue tentatively brushed past her lips and she met it with her own.

Unfortunately, she eventually needed to breathe again. 

“I love you,” she gasped against his mouth as she pulled away.

He smirked. “I told you that you’d fall for me eventually.” 

She shoved him playfully away when he cackled happily. But she was laughing too. 

“What am I going to do with you?” she demanded. 

He pulled her against him again, and kissed her chastely. “Love me forever, I hope.” And then his expression grew serious. “Because I love you, Mari. I have since the day I met you.”

She grinned and traced the side of his face with a knuckle. “Forever doesn’t sound so bad,” she admitted before kissing him again. 

And it really didn’t. 

Even if he never let her hear the end of the fact that she had finally fallen for him despite her denials. Even if she had to put up with puns at the worst possible times. Even if he insisted on taking blow after blow for her. 

If she was being honest, she didn’t want to hear the end of it. She wanted him to tease her for forever and a day. She wanted to hear his stupid jokes. And she wanted to fight with him at her side. 

Because that was who he was. And she loved him. 

…

Chapter Text

“I understand needing to tell someone. I do!” Chat Noir insisted for the third time that night. “I just don’t understand why it can’t be you!”

Ladybug wouldn’t look at him.

“Do you not want to know?” he asked, his heart had fallen into his gut. 

She wilted. “I want to know more than anything.” 

“Then what’s stopping you?” 

“I can’t explain it,” she admitted. She looked at him with glassy eyes. “Can you trust me on this?” 

He met her gaze, but he didn’t have words. She was almost crying and he didn’t know if it was because of the thing she couldn’t share or if he had upset her with his pushing.

“I understand if you can’t. I understand if you’re mad,” she said. 

He looked away. “I’m not mad,” he insisted. “I just don’t understand.”

They fell into an unhappy silence. 

“I can respect it, LB. You know that I can. I just don’t want to tell anyone else. I want you to be the first to know.” 

And then to his horror she started crying. 

“LB?” 

“I don’t deserve you,” she sobbed. 

“You deserve everything,” he countered. He held her then. And they didn’t say anything. Just sat together overlooking the city that they fought to protect. 

“What if we used the snake?” he interjected into the silence. 

She turned to him. “Huh?” 

“I will use the snake, and tell you who I am. Then if you still think you shouldn’t know, I will reset it and you won’t remember. Then in some weird way you’ll still have been the first to know, and if you still insist I can then tell someone else. ”

She considered it for a second. “Okay,” she finally relented. She immediately opened her yoyo and pulled out the Snake miraculous. She handed it to him with a smile.

Chat Noir’s hands started shaking. Whether it was with nerves or excitement, he couldn’t say. He was going to tell Ladybug who he was. And yeah, she wasn’t going to remember unless he could convince her, but still. She’d know his name, if only for a few minutes. 

He slipped on the bracelet. “Plagg, Sass, unify.” And then he turned back to his partner, and she’s fidgeting from one foot to the other. He was relieved that he wasn’t the only one feeling the nerves. 

But somehow, her anxiety made his own vanish, and he smiled gently. And she mirrored his expression. “Second Chance,” he whispered. 

“Okay kitty, what’s your name?” she asked with a playful grin.

“Adrien. Adrien Agreste.” He couldn't spit the words out fast enough. 

He didn’t know what he was expecting. He knew she would recognize the name. She had protected him as a civilian on more than one occasion, and she had recruited him as a temporary hero. So she knew him - at least a little bit. 

But whatever he had expected, he hadn’t expected her to start crying. And then she threw herself at him, and his arms automatically wrapped around her. 

“Buginette?” he prompted.

“W-why… Why did you have to be him ?” she sobbed into his chest. And he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t understand why this has hit her so hard. 

“This makes a lot of things make sense,” she said. Her voice was so soft, he wasn’t sure if she meant for him to hear her. 

“Are you disappointed?” he finally managed to ask. 

She jerked back so hard he worried she might have given herself whiplash. But her blue eyes gazed at him, searching for what, he did not know. 

“No!” she said. “Never.” And she said it with such conviction he couldn’t doubt it. Tension he hadn’t realized he was feeling dissipated. “This might actually be the best possible answer, but I can’t know who you are. You being Adrien makes that more true. Not less. I’m so sorry,” and she choked back another sob. 

And he realized that she wasn’t crying because of who he was, she was crying because she had to forget. He squeezed her tighter. 

“Why does my being Adrien mean you can’t know?”

She shook her head, wiping her tears from her eyes. And her demeanor shifted into battle mode. “We’re running out of time. You’re going to have to reset. When you do, ask me about Chat Blanc.” 

“Chat Blanc?” 

“I’ll explain! But you have to reset!” She was shouting at him now.

He nodded. And he flicked the bracelet. 

She was standing before him, no longer in his arms, but she was smiling. Fidgeting again, but smiling in eager anticipation. 

“Okay kitty, what’s your name?”

He offered her a small smile in return, but his eyes burned, threatening tears.

“Are you okay, Chaton?” 

“Will you tell me about Chat Blanc?” he asked. 

The blood drained from her face. “You’ve already been through a loop?” 

“You didn’t have enough time. You told me to ask you about Chat Blanc.”

She turned away from him, and toward the cityscape. “I hoped you would never learn about Chat Blanc. I’ve been trying to protect you from Chat Blanc.” 

“Please,” he begged. 

She drew in a shuddering breath. “Okay,” she agreed, but she didn’t say anything more. She continued to stare at the skyline. 

“We don’t have a lot of time,” he reminded her. 

“Chat Blanc was your akumatized form.”

His form went rigid. “Why don’t I remember?” 

“It hasn’t happened yet,” she whispered. Her jaw was quivering, her shoulders shaking. “I hope it never happens.”

He couldn't stand it, and he yanked her against him. She remained limp in his embrace. 

“Did I hurt you?” 

She shook her head. “You could have killed me.” His eyes squeezed shut at those words. “But instead, you helped me figure out where your akuma was.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” he joked, but he already knew it had to have been awful for her to be simultaneously trembling before him and monotone in her retelling. 

“The moon was in pieces.” 

“What?” 

“Hawkmoth had granted you the infinite power of destruction,” she told him. “And you destroyed… everything.”

He buried his head onto her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. Her hands rubbed at the back of his neck soothingly. 

“No, don’t say that,” she told him. “It wasn’t your fault, and it hasn’t even happened.” 

“But you remember it,” he countered. And he understood how hard it was to remember something traumatic that no one else even knew had happened. 

She nodded. “The worst part was you were so clearly alone. I don’t know how long you had existed as an akuma when Bunnyx brought me there.”

He didn’t really care how long he had suffered alone. If he had destroyed everything, he felt he deserved it. He had to atone for his actions in some way, if only for falling victim to the akuma in the first place. He didn’t say any of this out loud because he knew it would upset his partner. 

“The best part was you had killed Hawkmoth.” There was just a bit of warmth in her voice now, and he smiled.  

“At least I took him down with me.” His bracelet beeped in warning. He only had a minute left, though he supposed he hadn’t said anything yet that he needed to be erased. He just hated that he had made her cry. 

She looked up at him again, her eyes clear and serious. “Chat Blanc is why we can’t know each other’s identities,” she said.

“I don’t understand.” 

“I don’t either. Not completely.” She glanced down at their hands, which were completely entwined together. “But when I cleansed the akuma, you knew who I was. Bunnyx explained that it was our knowing each other’s identities that led to your akumatization. That we couldn’t know yet.”

His eyes watered and there was a rock lodged in his throat, but he managed to keep the tears mostly at bay, and nodded once. 

She leaned forward, touching her forehead to his. “It was never that I didn’t want to know. It was never that I didn’t trust you.” 

He nodded again.

“What’s your name, Chaton?” 

“Adrien Agreste.”

Her sobs were immediate. “This is not fair,” she cried. “I want to tell you my name.” 

He kissed her forehead, and then her hands that he was still holding. “Don’t tempt me,” he said lightly. 

Then he flicked his bracelet before she could let anything slip.

He drank in the sight of her smiling face once again. The smile that reached her eyes, even as her hands writhed in front of her - the only evidence of her nerves. He knew now that she was willing to trust Chat Noir with everything, that she was almost willing to damn the whole world for him and he was almost willing to let her, and he also knew that Adrien was somehow incredibly special to her. Somehow, in the space of ten minutes he had fallen more in love with this woman.

“Okay kitty, what’s your name?” 

“You told me not to tell you,” he said, his voice barely louder than the breeze. 

She wilted on the spot. “I’m sorry.”

He swept her into a hug. “It’s not your fault, Buginette. You’re just trying to protect the world.” 

She tensed in his arms. “I told you about…”

“Chat Blanc?” he filled in. “Yeah, you did.” 

She started crying, and god damn it! He was hoping to make it through one loop without making her cry.  “I’m sorry,” she sobbed. He rubbed soothing circles into her back. “I never wanted you to know. I want you to know who I am more than I want anything.” 

“I know,” he breathed into her ear. “I understand now. I’m sorry for putting so much pressure on you. You have the weight of the whole world, and I regret that I ever added to it.” 

She shook her head rapidly. “No! You didn’t! You’ve always supported me!”

“And I hope I can bear more of that weight with you now?”

She grinned. “You say that like that wasn’t what you were already doing. You need to give yourself more credit.”

He smiled. “I will try.” 

“Sass, scales rest.” The snake kwami manifested in front of him. “What do you like to eat, Sass?” 

“I’m partial to eggs.”

Adrien groaned. “Why do I always get the difficult to feed kwamis?”

Ladybug laughed. “Hey, you only have to feed two of them. You should try dealing with seventeen of them all at the same time!”

Her phrasing struck him. “Do you… do you want me to keep the snake?”

She glanced away, a pink rising to her cheeks. “I was just thinking about what you said. That you wanted to reveal yourself to me. With the snake, you can do that whenever you want. I don’t know if it’s fair. I still think you should tell someone who will remember, but… I am okay with you using the snake so that I can be one of your confidants.”

He couldn’t breathe. He had already established this evening that she actually did trust him, but this… this was a whole new level. He felt dizzy. 

“Chaton? You okay?” 

“You… You’re not worried about me taking advantage?” 

“To do what?” she asked. 

“I don’t know. Kiss you or something?” 

Was he imagining the blush across her cheeks? 

“Would you do that?” she asked. 

“Not without your permission.” 

“So what’s the problem?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed in complete confusion.

His tears crashed straight through the dam of his usually tightly maintained composure.

This time, she hugged him. And he let himself cling to her. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“What for?” she asked. 

He smiled into her shoulder. “For…” and he had no idea how to put what he was feeling into words. “For being you.” 

“You’re so important to me, kitty. You know that right?”

He did now. He pulled away and offered her his most charming smile, and kissed her hand one more time. She definitely blushed that time. “You mean the world to me, too.” 

They just stood there for a minute, smiling at one another. “I guess, I should get home,” she said. 

He nodded. “Yeah, me too.” 

He watched her go, but despite his words he wasn’t ready to go back to his gilded prison. 

Instead, he took off through the city, running. And he didn’t know if he was running from something or towards something.

…

Chapter Text

It had seemed like an ordinary day. Except that Marinette had been on time for school. That, like, almost never happened. But here she was in her seat ten minutes before class was to begin, snacking on a croissant her father had handed her on the way out the door and chatting idly with Alya about nothing remotely important. 

Her classmates filed in slowly in clumps until finally everyone except Adrien was in their seats. She watched his empty seat with a hint of worry. She always hated when he wasn’t there - knowing he was either trapped in a photoshoot he cared nothing about, or was home in bed with illness. 

But before her anxiety could spiral too deep, he slipped casually through the doorway. But he paused, facing the whole class. He smiled softly as his gaze swept the room, but there was something sad and wistful about his expression. 

“Are you okay?” she asked him. 

His spring-green eyes whipped back to her, and his smile grew. “Yes, of course. I just… I have some changes coming up, and I just wanted to savor this normal morning.” 

“What changes?” Nino asked. 

“Oh… ummm…” Adrien’s hand flew to the back of his neck. “I’m going to go back to home schooling in a week.” 

Marinette’s eyes shot open, and her gut twisted painfully.

“What?!” Alya exploded. 

“That’s so uncool, dude!” Nino was shouting. “What toe did you step out of line this time?” 

Marinette couldn’t speak through the lump in her throat or the churning in her stomach. 

Adrien shook his head. “I agreed to it, actually,” he admitted.

“What?! Why?!” Nino demanded, his face looked exactly how Marinette felt. What would life be like without Adrien’s kind and patient smile offering her warmth and comfort? What would his life be like when he was being shuffled between photoshoots and tutors without anyone who wasn’t being paid a salary to remain in his presence? 

“He needs my help,” Adrien said. “Nathalie is sick, and he’s under a lot of pressure and apparently he wants to start training me in the… family business. He said I can still have you all over once a week.”

She and Nino exchanged a glance. Of course, Gabriel would buy Adrien’s compliance by offering the one thing Adrien always strived for - his father’s high opinion and attention. 

“You’re even allowed to all visit at the same time, so we could have, like parties, and movie nights!” Adrien exclaimed, his face lighting in genuine delight, and Marinette couldn’t help reciprocate the expression. “That was our compromise,” he added softly before his eyes fell into his lap and he trailed off into silence. “I know it won’t be the same,” he whispered.

“It’s okay, dude,” Nino reassured with a huge smile. Marinette was completely confident Nino was burying his own feelings to put on a brave face for Adrien. “We understand. This is a chance to spend time with your old man.” 

Adrien nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’ll be nice,” Adrien agreed, but his expression didn’t match his tone, and Marinette grew more worried. 

Her hand reached for his shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked. 

His smile stretched fondly across his face as his green eyes turned to her. Heat bloomed in her cheeks and she glanced down into her hands. 

“Yes, Marinette. I’m okay with it. I think it’ll work out well for a lot of people.” 

She made herself smile back at him. If he was excited, she wouldn’t poison it with her worries. At least she was still going to get to see him every now and again. 

“Actually, Marinette?”

“Yeah?” 

“Can I talk to you after class? Alone?” 

The blush in her cheeks burned hotter. “Uh… y-yes, absolutely.” 

She didn’t need to look at Alya to feel the heat of her friend’s teasing gaze. Marinette kicked her from under the table. 

But then class was starting, Adrien had turned back around to face the front, and Marinette had to pretend that she wasn’t going out of her mind about whatever it was that Adrien wanted to talk to her about. 

The morning went by agonizingly slow. Like the clocks had clearly been spelled to go backwards when they weren’t being directly observed or something . 

When their morning classes finally concluded, Alya departed rapidly, hooking Nino’s arm through her elbow and dragging him away on her way out. Adrien watched them leave arm in arm with a sad smile before he turned back to her. 

“Shall we?” he asked. 

And she nodded, not trusting her tongue to form a coherent response, before following him out. 

It didn’t take long for them to find some privacy in a private alcove. She knew it was a good spot to not be seen. She had transformed here more than once. 

“So, I have a confession to make,” he said into the silence, his eyes gazing directly into her eyes. 

She nodded rapidly urging him to continue, trying to ignore her heart, which was currently threatening to beat out of her chest. 

“I lied earlier. I don’t have another week. Today is my last day.” 

Whatever she had been expecting or hoping he would say, that was not it. “I… What? Why?” 

“I just… I didn’t want everyone to make a big deal out of it today. I just… wanted one last normal day,” his gaze had shifted past her, and his sadness struck her in the chest. 

“I understand,” she said. “I won’t tell anyone.” 

He smiled again. “Thank you, Marinette. You’ve always been so good with secrets.” 

“Is this what you wanted to talk about?” she asked. 

He shook his head. “Actually, no.” And he reached into his bag and pulled out a small wrapped package. “I have something for you.” He handed it to her.

“For me? What about the others?” 

“This could only be for you, Marinette.” His tone was so certain and yet so gentle. How was she ever going to get over this boy? 

She started to open it, but his hands covered her. 

“Open it when you get home,” he said. 

Her eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t want to see what I think of it?” 

He shook his head. “I’m quite confident you’d give me an earful, but…”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “How much did you spend on me?” 

He held his hands up in surrender. “None, actually… Not that you’re not completely worth it! This just isn’t that kind of gift!” he told her. “Just… promise me that you’ll open it as soon as possible.” 

“You sure you don’t want me to open it now?” 

“I’m certain! It’s… private… and embarrassing! I don’t want anyone else to see it. It’s only for you, okay?” 

Her eyebrows furrowed together. It was like he was trying to tell her something, but wasn’t allowed to say it out loud. “Okay,” she agreed. 

He smiled. “Thank you, Marinette.” And he pulled her into a hug. She let herself linger for a second, but then tried to pull away. He just squeezed her harder, and she let herself melt against him, her arms wrapping around his back. 

A second later, she realized his whole form was shaking. 

He was crying. 

She had no idea what to do. 

“Adrien? Is… everything okay?” 

He pulled away, and wiped his eyes. He was shaking his head. “No,” he said, but then he smiled through his tears at her. “But it will be. I promise you that.” 

And then he was leaving, and she didn’t know what to say to bring him back. She just clutched the small package to her chest, wondering what might be inside. 

… 

The second Marinette was through the bakery doors of her family home, she bolted upstairs without so much as a “Hey, how was your day?” to either of her parents.

She pulled the wrapped parcel from her bag as she was climbing the slanted ladder to her room, and the second the trap door was closed, she dropped her bag unceremoniously to the floor, and Tikki buzzed excitedly in the air beside the present. 

“What’d he get you?” Tikki asked. 

“I don’t know,” Marinette said, even as she was tearing through the paper wrapper. 

She finally revealed a little black box and a letter that had been folded up eight times to fit under the box.

She opened the box and her giddy excitement vanished like a puff of smoke. In its place, she felt raw dread twisting in her gut. 

Before she could even ask Tikki for confirmation, a sparkling green light confirmed her fears. This was Chat Noir’s ring. 

Plagg manifested right in front of her. He whirled around, taking in her room. 

“Damnit kid! I told you to not be rash,” he grumbled. “Hiya pigtails! How’re things?” he asked casually as if it was completely normal to see her every afternoon. 

“Plagg?!” Marinette screeched. “What are you doing here? What happened to Chat?”

“Well, obviously he must have given me to you,” Plagg said. 

And Marinette felt dizzy. If that was true, Adrien was Chat Noir. But she couldn’t scream about that now. Something was wrong. 

“But why?” she demanded. Something was very wrong.

“Did you read his letter?” Plagg asked. 

She tore open the letter, ripping it once in her haste, but it was fine. She could still read it.

Her eyes scanned through his words rapidly. 

Please forgive me, princess, for putting this on your shoulders. 

My partner and I have been chasing the same guy pretty much since the day you and I met. And yesterday, I found out who he is. 

He’s my father. 

That last line was blurred with obvious tear stains. 

I am entrusting you with this keepsake that was gifted to me because it is no longer safe with me. I couldn’t even risk using it one more time to contact my partner as I’m more closely protected than before. It’s far safer with you. 

And I’m asking that you do more than keep it safe. I’m hoping you will use it and take on the role that I once did in protecting my partner. 

And I know that is a lot to ask. But I’ve watched you handle all the tools in the box simultaneously, and you’re an absolute natural, princess. I have no doubt that you could fill my role seamlessly. 

My father’s assistant has fallen ill. He used to rely on her for everything, but now that she’s sick he has entrusted her role to me. 

But I can’t. I can’t betray my partner. I love her. 

Please entrust everything I’ve said to my partner whether or not you decide to fill my shoes. I hope together, the two of you can come up with a plan to deal with my father. 

And make it fast. 

I don’t know how long I can pull off pretending. 

~Your Black Knight

She was barely aware of the tears pouring down her face. She was too angry. 

“Plagg! Is he okay? Tell me he’s okay!” He hasn’t seemed okay during lunch. He had seemed sad all day, but at lunch, when they had been alone he had broken down for a moment. 

“I mean… he’s physically fine. The bastard didn’t hit him or anything. And on some level the man is trusting his son for the first time since his wife disappeared.” 

His wife! Adrien’s mother! That was why he was doing this, wasn’t it? 

Marinette could almost understand. Almost. She thought she might be capable of anything to protect her loved ones. 

But she liked to think that she would have stopped once she realized how much she was hurting others. She wasn’t sure though.

“But my kid’s heart is breaking that he has to betray him in the end,” Plagg continued. 

Then she shook her head at herself. Her partner was so good and so pure, that he was willing to stand against his own father. Willing to throw a wrench into a plan to bring back his own mother . Because it was the right thing to do. 

Marinette would follow his example. Her hand tightened around Chat Noir’s - around Adrien’s - ring. 

Gabriel didn’t deserve her understanding anyway. 

Because Gabriel hadn’t just hurt Chat Noir with his akumas. Adrien himself had been a victim of them on several occasions, he had been the target more than once. 

What kind of father did that to his own son? 

She slipped on the ring. 

“Marinette!” Tikki shrieked. “You cannot unify myself and Plagg,” she warned. “Not without risking reality itself.” 

Marinette nodded. “I understand, Tikki. Don’t worry. I have a plan.” 

As Chat Noir had pointed out, Marinette could use every miraculous in the box. And she wasn’t going to wait.

Because she had a partner to save, a friend to hold in a never ending hug until he was well and truly cried out, and a love to fight for. 

Hawkmoth wouldn’t know what hit him. 

…

Chapter Text

When Marinette left her house this morning, she had no intention of confessing her love to Adrien. None at all. She had given that up months ago. 

Not her feelings! Never those! Adrien’s mere presence could still twist her into a blushing bag of mixed up words when he caught her off guard. 

But she had given up on the idea of confessing because she couldn’t act on any feelings she had. Her whole fiasco with Luka had more than proved she couldn’t actually date anyone - at least, not while she had to keep half her life a secret.

But Adrien had looked so sad, and completely dejected when she found him. His words alone would have broken her heart. She had to do something.

And confessing definitely had not been her first idea, but like, her brain and her mouth weren’t connected. Not when she was within a two meter radius of Adrien Agreste. 

She had found him slumped on a park bench next to what had obviously been a photo shoot that was in the process of being torn down.

“Adrien, are you okay?” she asked, taking a seat beside him. 

He started, jumped a good ten centimeters off the bench before his wide green eyes landed on her. His whole form relaxed when he recognized her. 

“Hi Marinette,” he said, flashing her a smile as bright as the sun. 

And she realized in that moment that he was really good at faking smiles. Which made sense with him being a model and all. She just hadn’t ever thought about it in those terms before. 

How many bad days had she missed? 

“Did you enjoy the shoot?” he asked. 

“You don’t have to pretend with me, you know,” she said softly, ignoring his question. 

“What do you mean?” He sounded like he was completely confused. Even his eyebrows were furrowed together in thought. 

She would have bought it too, if she hadn’t seen him before he knew she was there, if he hadn’t glanced away from her before he responded. 

“Adrien, you don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. Not with me.”

He stared at her in shock, letting the smile fall off his face. “I don’t?” he asked.

“No, of course not! I’m your friend. I want to know when you’re having a bad day. I want to try and cheer you up, listen to your problems, or whatever you think would help.”

“I don’t want to be a burden,” he admitted. 

“You aren’t a burden for having a bad day,” she insisted. 

“What if it’s not just a bad day?” he asked, glancing away again, out toward the park. “What if I’ve been feeling like this for a long time?”

Her heart twisted painfully in her chest. She had missed a lot then. But that wasn’t important. The important thing was that he was hurting, and now that she knew, maybe she could do something. 

“Then, I think it’s even more important that you have support.”

The silence hung between them, and she agonized over what to say to fill it.

“And you don’t have to tell me anything either, but you can talk to me about anything. I’m happy to listen if you want,” she offered.

“Thank you, Marinette,” he said, smiling softly in that way that made her stomach flip. “You’re very kind.” 

And then he didn’t say anything else, and Marinette willed herself not to be disappointed. This wasn’t about her. He didn’t have to confide in her if he didn’t want to. It was about him.

So she just sat with him, hoping her presence brought some comfort. 

“I hate modeling,” he said into the empty space between them. “I only originally agreed to do it because I was hoping I would get to spend more time with my father.”

She hadn’t known that. She had always thought being a model would be interesting, but well, she was super into fashion. She supposed it wouldn’t necessarily be the same for Adrien. 

“Did it not work out that way?” 

“Oh, no, it kind of did work. Only now, the times I see him, he’s just criticizing every shot that I didn’t do perfectly.” 

“That doesn’t seem fair.” She knew how hard Adrien worked. 

“And today, I just didn’t have the right headspace because I already messed something else up earlier. So, I’m kinda dreading going home.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“I just don’t seem to be able to do anything right anymore,” he said. 

“I take it this is about more than the photoshoot just now?” And she felt silly the second the question was out of her mouth because hadn’t he already said he had been feeling this way for awhile?

“I… yeah… I have this… friend. She and I do… uh… community service together. We worked really well, and have managed to accomplish a lot I think. I loved spending time with her and the work we were doing was meaningful. I thought… I don’t know… maybe that I could do it forever. Especially if I was doing it with her.” And he got this wistful smile on his face for a second, but then it faded, and she couldn’t help but echo his crestfallen expression.

“What happened?” she asked. 

He shrugged. “I don’t know. She got promoted and didn’t have as much time for me. The team also got bigger, and suddenly there were half a dozen others that could do the things I used to do. And I don’t know… I don’t feel needed anymore. I feel like I could just not show up and no one would notice.”

“And I don’t need to be the best or anything. I don’t even really need to be needed. I just… I don’t want to be forgotten,” he whispered. 

“No one could forget you,” Marinette insisted. 

He grew silent again. 

She drummed her fingers on the bench silently, feeling like she had said the wrong thing, but not knowing what else to say to fix it.

She risked a glance at him, and his gaze was locked on the park in front of them.

“Marinette, do you think anyone could ever love me?” 

She almost laughed at the question.

“Adrien, I know someone could love you.” 

He turned towards her, his face open and vulnerable. “You do? How?” 

She didn’t even think about it. “Because I love you.”

“Y-you love me?” he repeated, his green eyes suddenly so wide she could fall into them. 

“Yeah…” she confirmed softly, glancing down into her lap as her cheeks suddenly warmed. “I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.” The words left her mouth - smooth like water - like it was the easiest thing in the world to say - like she hadn’t been struggling to string this one sentence together for months upon months. 

“What?”

“Since you gave me your umbrella,” she whispered. 

… 

Since he had given her his umbrella? But… that was ages ago. That was the day they had met! He remembered that moment because it was the first time he felt he had made a friend on his own. 

How on earth had he won Marinette’s affections? And so quickly, too? It felt too good to be true. 

He stared at her in disbelief. Her cheeks were the color of pink rosebuds, and her eyes were positively shining in the afternoon sunlight. She was looking down into her hands, but her lips curled into a small smile, and he found himself mirroring her expression. 

She loved him. 

Something within him burst in warmth - like a flower exposed to the sunlight first thing in the morning.

He really liked the idea of being Marinette’s special someone. Of being her boyfriend and her partner. 

He never thought he’d be ready to move on from Ladybug. He had tried that with Kagami and that hadn’t exactly gone well, but with Marinette? Maybe… just maybe, it was possible! Marinette who was self-righteous, clever, and just so good and so caring. Marinette who seemed to see something worthwhile in him. 

And in Chat Noir, too. 

It would be too easy to throw himself into a relationship with her. He would hold nothing back.

He reached out and took her hand. Startled blue eyes flew to his. 

“W-would you like to go on a date?” he asked, his throat had fallen into his gut with every rapid beat of his heart.

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but her eyes flooding with tears and pulling out of his grasp, was not it. 

“Marinette?” he asked when she started shaking with silent tears. 

“I want to!” she sobbed. “But I can’t!” 

“You can’t… go on a date?” 

She nodded rapidly. “I can’t be your girlfriend,” she told him, the tears still falling down her face. 

He didn’t understand. Hadn’t she just confessed to him? 

He looked away. 

Or maybe she just didn’t want the spotlight being Adrien Agreste’s girlfriend would thrust her in. Maybe that wasn’t something she was willing to put up with. Maybe she didn’t want to jeopardize her future career. 

Or maybe, she didn’t love him at all. 

Maybe she had just said it to make him feel better. 

He felt his body crumpling in on itself. He tried to focus on his breathing. He had to keep it together. He couldn’t let her see his hurt. He swallowed convulsively, trying to push down every bit of the pain he was feeling. 

She grabbed his hand. “Please don’t cry,” she begged, her voice cracking with emotion. 

Shit . Was he crying? 

He touched his free hand to his face. 

He was. Fuck.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he managed, squeezing his eyes against the tears.

“No! I’m sorry!” she cried. “I didn’t mean to give you false hope. I just… I have a secret. And well… it destroyed my last relationship. And… I don’t think I could bear it if we were together and then my secret destroyed us, too. I’ve loved you for so long, and I love you so much.”

He knew all about secrets destroying relationships. She was probably right. He thought it would be harder to get over losing Marinette than it had been losing Kagami. 

But some ugly corner of his mind also threw a tantrum. What was it about him that was so untrustworthy that no one would share their secrets with him?

What had he done wrong? 

“I’m Ladybug!” she blurted out.

His eyes grew to the size of craters. “W-What?” But even with the question out of his mouth his brain refused to process her words.

If he did, he’d have to admit that she had chosen to trust a civilian , a failed temp hero, over her superhero partner who had been by her side and backing her up since the very beginning.

And he couldn’t handle that.

But when he looked up at her, her eyes were as wide as his own, her hands clamped over her mouth. 

“No!” she shrieked. “Please tell me that I didn’t just say that!”

“You’re Ladybug?” he repeated. 

“No!” Her hands now clamped over her ears. “This can’t be happening! What is wrong with me?”

Normally, her self recriminations would have grounded him, but today, he was only angry. So angry the world blurred around him. He wanted to tear away, to run, to scream. 

To destroy something. 

But he didn’t. He just sat there with his fists curled into tight angry balls, his heartbeat roaring in his head. He had no idea what to say.

How could she do this to him? 

“I just… You probably hate me now,” she sobbed. 

And that was it, wasn’t it? He didn’t hate her. He couldn’t hate her. 

Sometimes, and maybe in this moment in particular, he wished that he could. 

But he wasn’t capable of it.

He had seen Ladybug in her lowest moments. He knew the burden she carried. And he had seen her rise above it again and again. 

He had seen Marinette in some of her best moments, where she was a beacon of light and warmth in his cold and grey world. 

“I don’t hate you,” he whispered. “I could never hate you. I just… I don’t understand why you would tell me …. does Chat Noir know?” he made himself ask. 

“No!” she cried, and her eyes flooded with tears all over again. “Please don’t tell him! He can’t know! It would hurt him so badly.”

Well, she wasn’t wrong there. 

“What makes me more trustworthy than him?” he asked. He was terrified of her answer, but he needed to know. What was so wrong with Chat Noir? What had he done wrong to lose her trust?

She bit her lip. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not. Not even close.”

“But you just told me…” 

“I know! I know!” she shouted, tugging angrily at her pigtails. Very familiar pigtails. “He should have been the first to know! He has been there since the beginning and always followed my lead and backed me up, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

And then to his horror she was shaking, trembling like an earthquake as she rocked herself back and forth. 

“Marinette?” he prompted, unsure of how to comfort her. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried, frantically erasing the tear tracks across her face with the back of her hand.

“No, it’s my fault. I didn’t mean to pressure you.” 

She turned to him, his blue eyes glassy and compelling. “Actually, now that you know, can I talk to you about it?” 

He hesitated. She wanted to talk to him about Chat Noir.

He should say something. Tell her who he was so that she knew. But… he also just wanted to know. 

What had he done wrong? 

“You can talk to me about anything, Marinette,” he promised softly.

“I trust you implicitly, Adrien. And it’s because I’ve seen who you are. You are so kind. And you are so patient.”

“I trust you, too, Marinette.”

She offered him a watery smile, and then looked away, her eyes momentarily lost in the sky. 

“With Chat, it’s different. It’s visceral. We didn’t choose each other. We were thrown into this together. We trusted each other because we had no other choice.”

He isn’t sure if that’s better or worse than why she trusted Adrien.

“He’s died for me. So many times. I get so angry with him because sometimes he almost seems eager to sacrifice himself. Like he has something to prove to me.”

“Is that why you never told him your identity?”

“No,” she breathed. “I haven’t told Chat who I am because when I did… the world ended.” 

“ What? ” He wasn’t sure how many more times he could handle his world being knocked out of orbit, but she was really testing his limits today. 

“I trust Chat Noir more than anyone else on this earth,” she was saying. “I can’t even put it into words. The right ones don’t exist. I just… I just know he will always be there when I need him to be. I know that he will pick me up when I’m shattered beyond repair. I literally cannot imagine my life without him. Ladybug would have failed or surrendered ages ago without him.” 

He felt floored.

“It’s not fair that I can’t tell him who I am. It’s not fair that he wasn’t the first one to know. I hate that I can’t introduce him to my friends and that I don’t know where he lives! It’s not fair that I can’t tell him how much he means to me!”

And she broke off into inconsolable tears. 

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into his side, her hands covering her eyes and face as she cried. 

“What happened?” he asked softly.

She shook her head against him. “Please don’t ask… I can’t .”

“Will you ever tell him?” 

“I… think it would break his heart.”

“Maybe it would be better to know.”

“I… maybe… I’m not sure. I wish I could forget.” 

“Marinette, do you love him?”

Her eyes squeezed shut, but that didn’t stop the tears from spilling over onto her cheeks. 

“I can’t,” she sobbed.

“Why can’t you?” he prodded, like he was poking an old bruise just to feel the pain underneath. 

“Because the world ends!” she snapped.

And he softened. She loved him. Both sides of him, apparently. “That’s not how love works,” he said softly. 

She cried harder once again, and his arm tightened around her.

“Thank you,” he said once her tears had ebbed. 

“For what?” she asked, her voice still thick from crying. 

“For being truly honest with me. I… I don’t get a lot of that in my life.”

“I feel like all I did was put us both in danger and then ruin my chances with you.” 

He frowned. “What do you mean?” 

She laughed darkly. “Do you not remember? I just confessed to you! But somehow, I spent most of the time talking about Chat Noir.”

He picked at a piece of chipped paint on the bench in the tiny gap between their legs. “I don’t think you’ve ruined anything.” He didn’t look at her. 

“You don’t? You still want to go out with me? After all that?” 

Yeah, he might have questioned his own sanity too if he didn’t have the full context here. 

He nodded. “Marinette, I’ve been saying it since the day I met you. You’re amazing . And one of the only people in my life who has really ever seen beyond the glamour of all things Adrien Agreste. And I would love to go out with you, but I can’t,” he told her, watching her carefully. 

Her eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement. “I understand,” she said. 

He knew that she didn’t. 

Not yet.

“I imagine your father doesn’t approve and I imagine my… uh… extracurriculars complicate things.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s nothing like that,” he said gently. “You see, I have a secret and I wouldn’t want it to destroy our relationship the way it did my last one.” 

Her eyes widened. “Adrien?” And he could hear the tremble in her voice, but he couldn’t stop. 

“I’m Chat Noir,” he finished.

…

Horror bubbled up in her gut, sour like a pot of fermented greasy soup. 

She had just screwed up. Colossally. She wasn’t sure how this conversation could have gone any worse. How had she messed this up so completely? She had worried before that he would hate her for breaking down and revealing her secret, for being so torn with her feelings. 

But he was her partner! 

And she had betrayed him in everyway to his face. 

He was going to hate her forever if he somehow didn’t already.

She didn’t know if she would survive his scorn.

Chat Noir was literally the most important person in her life and she had hurt him. Over and over and far more deeply than she thought she was capable of.

Her stomach writhed like it was home to a mass of worms. 

Because it was even worse than she thought, as she mentally reviewed their whole conversation with this new context. 

She was his community service partner. Ha! Community service! He felt unneeded and forgotten. And then she had just told her secret - blurted it out like it was nothing to someone that she didn’t even think was on the team. 

Her chest tightened and the tears sprung forth before she could get a handle on them. 

She buried her face in hands.

“Oh god, you must hate me.” 

And she couldn’t even blame him for it. 

His arms wrapped around her gently. And she cried into his shoulder. And she didn’t understand how he could try to comfort her after she had betrayed his trust like that.

“M’lady, as I already said once today, I could never hate you. Believe me, I have tried.”

One thing was clear in her mind. She did not deserve him. 

“I’m so sorry!” 

“I’m sorry, too,” he whispered. 

“Whatever for?” 

“For taking advantage of the situation to learn what you thought of Chat Noir.” 

She shook her head. She couldn’t be angry with him for that. Not after… she had so thoughtlessly broken her own rules for the second time , no less.

“You wouldn’t have had to if I had just been honest with you. You’ve tried to be there for me, and I wanted to lean on you. I did . I was just so scared of what could happen… if we got any closer. And I didn’t realize you were hurting. Didn’t realize I had hurt you.” 

“It sounds like you had a reason.” 

Her whole body was shaking in agitation. “That doesn’t make it right.” 

“It’s okay,” he assured. 

She glared at him, the righteous anger she usually reserved for Hawkmoth and school bullies, bubbling to the surface. 

“It’s not!” she insisted. “How can you be so forgiving?” 

He shrugged. “It’s not like I don’t get having to keep secrets that destroy relationships.”

“You and Kagami?”

He nodded. “Among others. Things are strained even between Nino and me.”

And she wanted to start crying all over again as if she hadn’t cried a lifetime’s worth already. Because he had kept his identity a secret because she had asked him to, while she had broken her own rule in order to keep Alya as her best friend. 

She had the kwamis and she had Alya, and she even had Chat Noir. 

But who did Adrien have? Who could he turn to?

Ladybug chided him everytime he shared something personal, his father was cold, distant, and unfairly demanding, and Adrien couldn’t confide in his friends without breaking his promise to Ladybug. 

“Apparently he finds Chat Noir annoying and threatening,” Adrien was saying. 

Her indignation flared bright and hot. 

“Chaton! You know that’s not true.” 

“He thought Alya was cheating on him with me,” he continued. “Apparently, she keeps secrets from him, too, and that was the only explanation he could think of.” 

And she squeezed her eyes shut. “This is all my fault. I’m so so sorry.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

“I mean, Alya was keeping secrets from Nino only because I asked her to! And then, he thought something was going on! And then in his hurt, he damaged his relationship with you by ranting about Chat Noir without knowing who he was talking to.” 

He grabbed her by both shoulders the way Chat Noir always did when Ladybug was going down a panic spiral. “M’lady, it’s okay. Breathe.” 

She took in a panicked breath. “I… just… I’m sorry that all my secrets hurt you, and that they came out in the worst way to make sure I hurt you all over again.” 

He pulled her into a hug. “Just the fact that you feel bad for hurting me, makes me feel better. I promise you, I’m okay.” 

She peered at him, not trusting his words at all. He had already proved to her today that he was better at pretending than she had ever given him credit for in either of his personas. 

“Are you really?” she asked. 

He smiled, and opened his mouth to speak. “I…” 

She poked him hard in the chest. “And you’d better not feed me a line! Just be honest, Chaton. How are you really?”

He sighed, and shook his head. “I mean, I don’t think I’ve been okay for a long time,” he admitted. “But I don’t know when it started. Things were so good! I was in school, I had friends, and I loved being Chat Noir, and then, it somehow all gradually changed, and it seemed like everything was broken. Honestly, Marinette, it felt like you were the only person in my life that I still had a completely solid relationship with.”

“Then I had to go and ruin that,” she threw in, her voice dripping with self-deprecation.

He barked a laugh. “Marinette, you haven’t ruined anything. I feel better right now than I have in a long time.”

“I’m sorry you’ve been so alone,” she whispered. “What do you want to do?” she asked.

He considered her seriously. “That depends. You seem to know of another reality. How screwed do you think we are right now, knowing who one another is and that we love each other?” 

Marinette grew somber again. “I don’t know.”

“Will you tell me what happened?”

“Are you sure you want to know?” Her words were so soft, she could barely hear them, but she knew he could hear better than most even untransformed.

“Not really, but I don’t want you to have to bear it alone.” 

She nodded. And then stared at her hands for several seconds gathering up the pieces of her courage that she hadn’t already cashed in today. “All of Paris was flooded,” she told him. “Everything was destroyed. Only skeletons of buildings and dust statues that dissolved at the slightest touch, remained. The moon… it was shattered. There was no sign of life. No plant life. No animal life. 

“Except for Chat Blanc.” 

…

He already couldn’t breathe. His whole body was shaking.

Her hands were on either side of his neck, and she brought his gaze up to hers. “Kitty, listen to me,” she whispered urgently as he fought for air. “It wasn’t you.”

“But isn’t that what you’re saying?” he yelled. “That I got akumatized and destroyed the whole fucking world?” 

She pressed her forehead to his. He clamped his hands around her wrists, hoping she could ground him before he completely panicked. 

“You also recognized me when I arrived,” she told him, her blue eyes filling up his whole vision. She never looked away. “You didn’t kill me though you definitely could have, you helped me find your akuma, and when I cleansed it, you were the gentlest , softest version of yourself that I have ever known. And so I repeat. It wasn’t you. It was the akuma.” 

He couldn’t hold the torrent of tears back, they poured down of their own accord as he trembled in his partner’s protective hold. 

He understood now why she hadn’t told him. Why she had been terrified it would break him. Part of him wished that she hadn’t, but a larger part knew that it was better that he knew. Now, he could understand the weight that she had been holding on her shoulders. 

He thought he had already known. He knew what it felt like to have to protect the whole city when you were just a teenager. 

But the whole world? He knew the wish could bend reality, knew that the akumas left lasting psychological damage on both the akuma victims as well as those caught up in attacks. He had never realized that an akuma could lead to the end of everything. 

He had never realized the stakes were so high. 

He fell into Marinette’s concerned gaze, her eyes still focused solely on him. She stared at him with such faith. 

She had known. That the stakes were this huge. How long? He had no idea, but it had to have been for awhile.

And she had been holding it all alone .

He cupped both sides of her face in his hands. “You are so strong,” he whispered. If there was one good thing about knowing, it was that hopefully he could hold this burden with her. That they could lean on each other in a way they had never been able to before with so many secrets between them. 

“I’m sorry I was weak enough to be akumatized,” he sobbed, his voice cracking. 

“Don’t even say that!” she hissed. “I’ve been akumatized, too. You’re allowed to feel things, Chaton.” 

He shook his head. “Not if it leads to the end of everything.”

“You know, the worst part of that future for me wasn’t that everything was destroyed.” 

“It wasn’t?”

“No, it was almost peaceful,” She smiled at him then. It felt so out of place given what they were talking about, but it gave him hope anyway. “The hard part was that you were there. You were alone . And you were hurting. And I had no idea how long you had been trapped in that hellscape. You thought I was a hallucination when I first arrived.

“I never told you any of this. But I wasn’t keeping it a secret to save the world. Not really. If I’m honest with myself, I was only trying to protect you. To save you from that future.”

Somehow, his tears came harder, but for far better reasons. How had he ever been lucky enough to meet this girl? She was his everything. 

“And that’s how I felt just now, seeing you here on the bench looking so forlorn and dejected. That I had to protect you. I’m sorry that in my efforts to protect you from being completely alone, I made you feel exactly that. I didn’t realize that you were hurting so much. I’m sorry that I didn’t notice on either side of your mask.” 

“Mari?”

“Yeah?” 

“I really want to kiss you right now.” 

Her smile was so dazzling he was blinded by its brightness. And she bridged the gap between them. He let his eyes fall closed, her lips parted just enough for their breaths to mingle. 

It left him dizzy. 

“I love you,” she whispered just a centimeter away from his face. “So much.” 

He wanted to cry. He did cry. 

“Chaton?” she asked, pulling away just enough so he could see her whole face. Their fingers interlaced so tightly it hurt, but he wasn’t letting go. 

“I love you, too,” he managed. “Just feeling beyond lucky. Like impossibly so.

She squeezed his hand tighter.

“I should have told Ladybug awhile ago how I felt,” he said, and then he grinned. “Lucky me that I have this awesome and amazing friend, Marinette, who could see through me and make sure that I knew I could lean on her.” 

She brought their joined hand to her mouth, and kissed his knuckles the way he had done to her when they were suited up so many times. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks at the gesture.

She smirked.

“Why didn’t you talk to Ladybug?” she asked.

He shrugged. “It’s like I told you. I don’t want to be annoying. I don’t want to be a burden.” 

She considered him. “It’s your human right to be a burden Chat Noir. And I hope that you will always let me hold it with you, just as you’ve always helped me with mine.”

“As long as you remember that you can share every one of your burdens with me, too.” 

“No more secrets?” she offered with a beaming smile. 

He kissed her again. 

“No more secrets,” he agreed.

Chapter Text

Nino pressed the play button for what had to be the twelfth time just in the past hour. His stomach had long ago turned to lead, so he felt almost nothing when the short clip began again. 

Chat Noir dropped to the ground, and then twisted impossibly to the right in an acrobatic move that would have been impossible without a miraculous. Every time, Chat Noir managed to stay just out the path of each explosive blue tear that shot past. 

Chat Noir was shouting something at the akuma, and Nino wished for the hundredth time that the security footage had audio. But whatever Chat Noir said had pissed the akuma off.

Which was just par for the course with Chat Noir. Get the akuma blinded with rage and it was just that much easier to goad them into a mistake. 

But the next frame was not in the regular Chat Noir playbook. No, in his next move Chat Noir collapsed his baton, held it in front of himself in surrender, dropped it to the ground, and then just stood there! 

Nino didn’t let himself look away as the next two tears struck Chat Noir in the chest, sending the hero flying into a parked van. The force of impact was so great, the van caved inward and almost tipped over. Chat Noir fell face first to the ground, and then didn’t move. 

Tears fell from Nino’s eyes. 

He didn’t understand. Why hadn’t Chat Noir fought him? Why had he dropped his weapon and just surrendered like that?! 

Nino had witnessed Chat Noir take dozens and dozens of hits in footage Alya had collected over the years. And Carapace had seen Chat Noir take hits first hand before. But in all of that, Nino had never seen anything like this.

Because Chat Noir’s sacrifices always served some purpose! He was protecting the team, or Ladybug! Or at very least, providing a distraction or stalling for time.

But here, he had just taken the beating. 

Nino’s fist slammed into his desk.

It didn’t make any sense!

“Nino?” His mother’s voice called. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, ma. I’m fine!” he called back, forcing himself to take a deep breath, tracing the protective charm Ladybug had gifted him with after his most recent akumatization. He had already gotten himself worked up enough watching this video to know for a fact that the charm worked.

The butterfly hadn’t been able to reach him, but man, it had tried.

But Nino knew that even with the protection he couldn’t continue like this. He had to do something. He had to fix it somehow.

He pulled out his phone, and immediately dialed his girlfriend.

“Hey Al?” he winced when his voice cracked.

“Nino? You okay?”

“Yeah, totally fine, babe. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”

“Anything I can do, you know I will!” she sing-songed back.

His lips stretched into a genuine smile. It was amazing that she could make him feel better in so few words without even knowing he needed it.

But then, maybe she did know. 

“Do you think you could get a message to Chat Noir for me?”

“I don’t know. I could try.” 

“What about Ladybug?”

“I could pull that off more easily. Why?”

“I just… can you tell her that I would like to talk to Chat Noir?”

“Yeah sure. Do you want her to tell him what it’s about?”

“I just… I want to say sorry,” and his voice cracked again.

“Nino,” she scolded. “I told you not to obsess over that clip.”

“Yeah, well. I didn’t listen.”

She sighed. “I knew I shouldn’t have posted it.” 

“If it had been anyone else, you wouldn’t have even hesitated,” he countered. 

“But you promised not to obsess over it!”

“That was before I had seen it!” he countered. “If it was you, you know you’d be just as obsessed.” 

She sighed. “Yeah, I get it. I’ll send your message, but I don’t know how long it will be before Chat Noir hears it.”

“Thanks, Babe. You’re the best! I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

… 

Chat Noir sat on the top of the Eiffel Tower, gazing into the distance without actually looking at anything. 

“Chaton? Did you hear me?”

He shook himself from his thoughts, and turned towards his partner with what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“Yes, yes of course. Nino Lahiffe. I know of him.”

“He gave me his address, and was hoping you would stop by when you have the chance? I think he feels bad about Rocketear.”

He took the slip of paper from her. Despite the fact that his father had never once let him stay over at Nino’s, Adrien didn’t need the address. He knew exactly where Nino lived.

“I… umm… I’ll think about it.”

“He’s a really nice guy, just so you know,” Ladybug told him. And he smiled softly at her warm tone. She clearly thought highly of his best friend. Which made sense, as she had apparently selected Nino to be a temporary hero.

And after watching Nino face Anansi without any powers at all, it was no wonder that Nino had stood out to her. And despite some initial reservations at having yet a new person on the team, Chat Noir had always gotten along fairly well with Carapace. 

It was too bad Nino clearly didn’t feel the same way.

“And between us, he’s Carapace, so it’d be nice if the two of you could clear the air so we can all continue working as a team.”

Normally, he’d be thrilled that Ladybug had trusted that detail to him even though he already knew. But he was very distracted these days.

“Thanks, LB,” he said, distantly. “For passing along the message,” he said.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her face full of concern.

He shrugged. “Yes, of course. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

He shook his head. “You don’t have to, though I fear I’m not the best conversationalist tonight.”

He hadn’t been a very good conversationalist for about a week now.

Since Rocketear.

“Okay, well, let me know if you need to talk about anything.”

He nodded, and smiled. Despite his promise to himself to be more open and vulnerable with her, that just sounded impossibly exhausting at the moment. “Thank you.”

“Good night, Chaton!” she said with a cheerful wave.

He made himself wave back with another smile of his own. Once she was gone, he found himself taking the familiar route to Nino’s apartment building.

It wasn’t the first time he had perched on this particular building’s rooftop. It wasn’t even the first time he had done so since Rocketear.

But just like all the other nights he had been here, he didn’t even try to go inside.

He wanted to clear the air. He did. And now with Nino’s invitation, it wouldn’t even be weird for Chat Noir to show up at Nino’s bedroom window.

But he was terrified that he couldn’t actually explain anything, and that if he tried everything would get worse, and he would feel even weirder around his best friend than he already did.

And Adrien didn’t want to lose what little he had left with Nino the same way he didn’t want to lose what little he had left with Ladybug.

And so, he didn’t jump down two stories below, and he didn’t tap on Nino’s window. He just remained on the rooftop rehearsing all the things he wasn’t allowed to say.

…

Adrien and Nino sat next to each other in the courtyard during a break between classes. Alya walked by and pecked Nino on the cheek. “Just wanted you to know that the cat got your message.” 

“Oh, awesome! Thanks, babe!” Nino said, his face lighting up in a huge smile. 

She smiled back. “Anytime, babe.” And then she was running to catch up with Marinette. 

“The cat?” Adrien repeated, purposely scrunching his eyebrows together to imply confusion. 

“Chat Noir,” Nino explained easily.

“Why?”

Nino sighed. “Uh… Because I beat the crap out of him,” he said, looking away under the guise of straightening his hat. “He didn’t deserve that.” 

“You were an akuma,” Adrien said. That fact should excuse all of Rocketear’s actions.

Of course, it was Nino’s words before he had been akumatized that still haunted Adrien.

“Did you watch the footage?” Nino asked.

“No.”

That was an akuma battle that Adrien definitely did not want to relive.

“It wasn’t a normal akuma.”

And now Adrien was actually confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I had a personal vendetta specifically against Chat Noir. I wasn’t just trying to take his miraculous. I wanted to hurt him. And I did hurt him,” Nino said, turning away, his expression tight.

Adrien put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m sure the ladybugs healed him. He’s okay.” 

Nino shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

Adrien nodded. “You’re right. I don’t. Explain it to me?”

“You know all that stuff I told you in the boiler room?”

“That Chat Noir is obnoxious and flirts too much?”

Adrien couldn’t forget. 

“None of that is true! I was just afraid,” Nino said, burying his head in his hands. 

“Afraid of what?” Adrien asked. 

“That I was going to lose the most important person in my life.” 

And god, Adrien could definitely relate to that.

“Anyway, I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I just… I dunno. I want a chance to make it right.” 

“Chat Noir doesn’t know you said all those things about him, though.”

Nino stared at him for a moment, before finally shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter, dude. I know I said those things.”

Well, apparently Nino was just as haunted by that conversation as Adrien. And while Adrien was still terrified to risk what friendship they had, he was more willing to risk it for Nino’s potential peace of mind than his own.

…

Nino opened his window the second he arrived home from school, and just sat on his bed waiting. Well, hoping, really. He only had confirmation that Chat Noir had heard his message, but none that the hero would actually pay him a visit.

Who was a random akumatized civilian to Chat Noir, anyway? 

There were probably dozens of others who wanted to talk to Chat Noir after being akumatized. Why would he pay any attention to Nino?

Sure, he was Carapace, but Nino was unclear on whether Chat Noir even knew that. 

Nino sighed. He was fooling himself, wasn’t he? There was almost no chance that Chat Noir would pay him a visit. 

He left his window open anyway.

He wandered to his desk and flipped open his laptop, only to be confronted with the frozen frame of Rocketear pummeling Chat Noir into that white van.

His forehead dropped to the desk. Nino wished he had never seen the footage, wished he had never caught sight of Chat Noir on Alya’s balcony, wished that he had just talked to Alya when things seemed off instead of letting his fears take over. 

A throat cleared behind him.

Nino jumped a meter out of his chair, and whirled around. Chat Noir stood silently, looking completely out of place in the dead center of Nino’s small room. 

“Rumor has it that you wanted to talk to me,” he said. 

“My dude! Don’t sneak up on a guy like that!” Nino exclaimed, clutching his chest.

“Sorry,” Chat Noir said brusquely. “I was under the impression I was invited?”

The hero didn’t so much as crack a smile. 

Nino shuffled awkwardly to his feet, pulling on his own shoulder. “Y-yeah, thanks for coming. I really appreciate it. Do you wanna take a seat?”

Chat Noir glanced around the room, his eyes lingering for a second on the chair Nino had just been sitting in, and then the bed before coming back to Nino’s face. “I’m okay where I am. Thank you,” he said, as stiff and cold as Adrien’s old man.

Nino’s pulse boomed in his throat, his nerves deciding to turn the volume up to eleven. He searched for something to say. He had known five minutes ago what he wanted to say. He had blurted half of it to Adrien earlier in the day, and now he suddenly didn’t know where to begin.

Not with those strange green eyes staring straight at him. 

Not when Chat Noir’s face, twisted into agony as Rocketear relentlessly tossed him around, flashed easily through his mind’s eye ten times every hour.

Chat Noir seemed to relax. He even offered a small smile. “You don’t have to apologize for what your akuma did, you know. It’s not your fault.”

Nino was already shaking his head, though he was grateful for the jumping off point. “Normally, I’d agree with you, but this is different.”

“It isn’t,” Chat said firmly.

“It is!” 

Chat Noir frowned in clear disapproval. “Akumas are victims, Nino. They are not responsible for their actions. Hawkmoth is responsible.” 

Nino clutched his head, pressing down on his hat firmly. “It’s my fault for jumping to conclusions so quickly and letting myself get akumatized over it in the first place. You didn’t deserve anything that I thought or said about you.”

Chat Noir shrugged. “Maybe not, but it’s still understandable.”

“How?!”

“You were afraid.” 

“Afraid of what?!” 

“Of losing one of the most important people in your life,” Chat Noir said. Nino couldn’t argue with that exactly. Hadn’t he said exactly this to Adrien earlier? But it didn’t mean he didn’t want to. He didn’t want Chat Noir to be understanding and kind. He wanted the hero to be angry.

It’s what Nino deserved.

But the way Chat Noir said it, Nino knew he was speaking from experience.

Who was Chat Noir afraid to lose?

Or had he already lost someone?

“I’m still sorry.”

Chat Noir smiled. “Thank you for saying that. It really means a lot to me. Most akuma victims don’t even think to worry about Ladybug or myself.” 

That didn’t make Nino feel any better. 

Chat Noir nodded and turned, as if to leave. 

But it was too soon. He couldn’t leave yet! Nino wasn’t done! 

“I watched the footage,” Nino blurted rapidly before Chat Noir could reach the window.

Chat turned back and nodded. “Okay.”

“You didn’t fight me.”

Chat Noir winced.

“In the beginning, you dodged everything that I threw at you, but you never fought back. And then you just threw down your weapon, and you… just took the hits.” And Nino was trying to stay calm, to keep his voice even, but his whole body was trembling, and he wasn’t sure if he was pulling it off.

“Why?” Nino demanded when the hero still said nothing.

“You were hurting,” Chat said softly.

“So is every other akumatized victim! You still fight them! ” Nino snapped, pointing dramatically to his computer screen that was still on the frozen image of Chat Noir slamming into the van.

Chat Noir glanced at the screen. His expression remained stoic. 

Nino couldn’t imagine not fighting against an akuma.

Maybe if it was Alya, or even Adrien or Noël, and evening then, Nino couldn’t picture it unless he had been the one to hurt them somehow. 

His brain stuttered on that thought. Chat Noir hadn’t been able to bring himself to fight Rocketear. Hadn’t wanted to fight him.

Nino’s eyes shot open wide, and locked onto the hero standing in front of him.

Chat Noir cared about him. 

More than he should.

“Who am I to you?” Nino asked.

Chat Noir stumbled half a step back, as if Nino had physically pushed him. “Wh-what?”

“Who am I to you?” Nino repeated, more confident that he was onto something.

“You can’t actually expect me to answer that.”

“But I’m someone,” Nino concluded.

Chat Noir’s silence was deafening.

Fuck!

Chat Noir being a friend underneath his mask made the whole situation a million times worse. 

Especially if…

Nino squashed the thought before it could fully form. He couldn’t face that guilt. He felt guilty enough already.

“God! I’m so sorry!” he cried out, beating back the burn in his eyes that threatened tears. “I’m sorry that I was able to think the worst of you! That I blamed you for my relationship problems when you had nothing to do with any of it.”

“You already said all that.” 

“Yeah, well! I’m saying it again!” Nino exclaimed. “Maybe you’ll hear it this time! And I need you to promise me something else!”

“Promise you what?”

“Promise me that you’ll always fight back.”

Chat Noir’s shoulders softened. “Nino…”

“I don’t care if it’s me, or the person you care about most in this world! You fight back!”

And suddenly, Nino was crying. He stumbled backwards onto his bed. He crashed onto the mattress heavily.

“If I'm someone to you, you’re probably someone to me, too,” Nino sobbed. “And I need him to be okay. You got it?”

Chat Noir sat down slowly on the bed beside him, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Got it.”

Nino nodded acknowledgement of the promise even as he suddenly couldn’t meet the hero’s eyes.

“Are you mad at me?” Chat Noir asked.

And god! Chat Noir sounded so meek and uncertain when he asked that question. He didn’t sound like a hero at all.

He sounded a lot like someone else. 

Nino squeezed his eyes shut.

“So are you?” Chat asked again. 

“Yes!” Nino roared.

The vulnerability on Chat Noir’s face transformed instantly into a mask of stoicism.

“I’m pissed, dude! I just… I don’t understand why you would just take those hits like that! Do you have a death wish or something?”

Chat Noir just sat there, looking like a kicked puppy more than anything. And that really pissed Nino off! 

“You’re doing it again!” Nino raged. 

“Doing what again?” 

Nino threw his hands up in frustration. “You’re just taking the heat. You’re not fighting back!”

“But it’s not like you’re wrong.” 

Nino threw his hands up in frustration. “Gah! You’re just like Adrien!”

Chat Noir recoiled violently, like Nino had physically struck him.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

It was him, wasn’t it?

That meant he had heard… everything.

What had he told Adrien about Chat Noir exactly? That he was annoying and an obnoxious slut, and everyone thought so?

Even Ladybug? 

Fuck!

“Is that a bad thing?” Chat Noir asked softly. “I thought… I thought Adrien was your best friend?”

Nino almost started crying at the question. He wanted to be Adrien’s best friend, but he didn’t particularly feel he deserved the title at the moment.

But Chat Noir was looking at him expectantly, his hand fisted into Nino’s comforter, waiting for Nino’s ax to fall. 

And if Nino said the wrong thing, the hero would just take it. He would never say a word. Would just absorb the hurt like he had every time. He’d come into class as Adrien the next day and put on a smile like he was none the wiser. 

So Nino considered his words carefully. If his growing suspicion was right, it might be one of the most important things Nino had ever said to him. And if he was wrong, well, it wouldn’t matter. 

“Adrien is my best friend. I love him so much! Around Adrien, I can just be myself. I’m never too weird or too awkward. The dude is just so earnest and excited to share anything and everything with anyone who is there! And it’s so easy and so fun to hang out with him.”

Nino couldn’t read Chat Noir’s expression. Especially when the hero glanced away. But he prayed that some of what he told Chat Noir about Adrien might heal all the hurt he had caused by telling Adrien about Chat Noir.

That was if they were one and the same. Nino knew better than to ask. 

“Adrien deserves the best this world has to offer, and everyone in his life just keeps falling short. His father is awful. And his friends don’t really get how hard his life is. Even me,” he said, thumping his chest.  “I don’t get it all the time, but I am getting better.”

And maybe he had finally caught the missing puzzle piece. 

Nino grabbed for Chat Noir’s hand. The hero let him take it. 

”The thing about Adrien that’s hard for me is that he’s so good at just taking crap, and somehow even better at hiding it. I am so scared that something’s going to happen to him. That his asshole father will do something truly awful or some girl will blow past what he’s comfortable with. That even I could say something that hurts and not realize it. And I won’t even know how badly he’s hurting and then I won’t be able to help him. I’m terrified I won’t see it and he won’t tell me, and then he’ll keep on hurting when he deserves so much better.”

Nino clutched onto Chat Noir’s hand so hard, he would’ve worried he might break it if the hero hadn’t been transformed.

“Because I want to be there for him. I want to fix things for him. And most of the time I can’t. And it makes me feel so useless!”

“I’m sorry,” Chat whispered.

“Don’t apologize! My point is, you’re like that, too! You’re so good at taking the hits, so good at hiding how much I know it has to affect you that I’m worried for you, too!! And that’s when I barely can keep up with worrying about him!”

“I don’t mean to stress you out.”

Nino laughed, but it had a hysterical edge to it. “Are you serious right now, dude?! You’re apologizing for stressing me out? You like, protect the whole fucking city on a daily basis from an emotional terrorist. The rest of us can fucking deal with some added stress.” 

This time Chat Noir actually grinned - the expression stretched across his face, as bright as the sky on a clear, cloudless day. Some of the tension Nino had been feeling ever since he had watched the Rocketear footage dissipated.

“But even if his problems stress me out sometimes, it’s only because I love the dude. He’s totally and completely worth it. He makes my life better just by being in it. I don’t want you to walk away thinking Adrien’s some kind of burden. He isn’t!”

“But it does frustrate me when he takes everyone else’s bullshit the same way it frustrates me that you would just take the hits from the akuma without fighting back. Does that make any sense?” 

“Y-yeah,” Chat Noir said, his voice cracking on the word. “Th-thanks for explaining all that. I… didn’t understand.” 

Nino searched his face, looking for any reaction to Nino’s words. 

“So, in the future, I would consider it a personal favor if you would fight back against any and all akumas instead of trying to reason with them.”

Chat Noir laughed. “Okay, fair. I’ll try.”

“Try?!” Nino repeated, clearly affronted. “Like, why would you ever try to reason with an akuma?” 

“It worked when Alya did it!” Chat Noir snapped back defensively. “You threw that akuma off yourself! I’ve never seen anyone do that before.” And then Chat Noir grinned. “It was awesomely impressive, dude,” he added softly, giving Nino a gentle shoulder bump.  

Nino was quiet for a moment. “It probably would have worked with Adrien, too,” he added, his voice just as quiet.

Chat Noir snorted. “If that was true you wouldn’t have been akumatized in the first place!”

Nino’s eyes shot over to Chat Noir’s. Nino had suspected, yes. But he knew better than to ask, and he hadn’t actually expected Chat Noir to confirm it. 

Apparently Chat Noir hadn’t either given how rigid he was, with his eyes squeezed shut for a moment, as if he prayed hard enough, he could take back that last sentence.

Nino’s heart twisted painfully in his chest even though he already suspected. 

Adrien was Chat Noir.

“It’s actually you,” Nino said, his eyes welling with tears. Nino tried to wipe them away, but they just kept coming. And then, he was the one crumpling like paper as sobs overtook him.

“Nino?”

Chat Noir grunted as Nino practically body slammed into him sideways, his arms clamping around him like a vice.

Chat Noir managed to steady them both before they crashed to the floor. He wasn’t a superhero for nothing.

“I’m so sorry!” Nino sobbed.

Chat Noir hugged him tighter.

“You didn’t know.”

Nino shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. I still hurt you.”

Chat Noir shook his head. “I hurt you first.”

Nino jerked away. “No, you didn’t! All that stuff I thought! All that stuff I said! None of it happened! None of it was true!”

“But you thought it was. And when I tried to make it better by paying Alya a visit, I made it worse.”

“That doesn’t make you responsible for it. Alya and I were having our own issues and I didn’t understand what was actually happening. And I pinned it on you. I lashed out at you because I didn’t want to be mad at her.”

“I can take it.”

“Would you fucking cut that out?!” Nino snarled. “Didn’t we just talk about this?!” 

Adrien completely caved in on himself under Nino’s censure. “Sorry,” he said meekly.

 “I’m sorry, too,” Nino said. “I don’t mean to yell at you. I know that freaks you out.” Nino grabbed him by the shoulders. “I just need you to stop accepting whatever I say just because I’m angry, and actually hear what I’m saying.”

Chat Noir blinked at him dumbly.

“None of it was true,” Nino said again, his eyes flashing.

“None of it? Even the part about me being such an annoying slut that even Ladybug can’t stand me?”

Nino’s eyes welled with tears all over again. “Especially that.”

Chat Noir wouldn’t look at him. “I knew you were hurting. I knew that you didn’t really mean it, but I couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t a grain of truth in it.”

Nino shook his head. “No, dude! There was no truth! I was just jealous and I felt threatened.” His head fell into his hands. “I wish I had figured you out like a week ago. Then, maybe I wouldn’t have been so stupid.” 

“I wish you hadn’t figured me out at all.”

Nino tried not to feel hurt by that statement. He dropped his gaze, trying to push his pain away. He didn’t have the right to feel hurt that Adrien didn’t want him to know. Adrien had reason not to trust him. 

“Does anyone know?” Nino asked. 

Chat Noir shook his head. “There was one person, but… he doesn’t remember anymore. Since him, no one knew. Not until today.”

Nino’s chest tightened. That… that sounded awful. Adrien had been living up to both his father’s impossible demands while protecting the whole city from a magical terrorist at a moment’s notice. How had he managed all that? And no one knew? Not a single soul? Not even Ladybug? 

What if something had happened? 

Nino wanted to throw up. 

“Did you want anyone to know?”

Chat Noir barked a laugh. It was bitter. Nino hated it. “I have always wanted Ladybug to know. But the Guardian, Ladybug, and my kwami have all made it very clear that if my identity is compromised, I have to give up the miraculous.”

“What?!”

“And I… I can’t, Nino,” Chat Noir broke off into sobs. The fucking hero of Paris crumpled into the fetal position on Nino’s twin sized bed, his body wracking like an earthquake. “I can’t go back to being trapped,” he sobbed. “And I… I don’t… I don’t want to l-lose Ladybug even if… even if… she doesn’t need me anymore.”

“Dude!” Nino objected. But he had no idea what to say or how to fix this. He was in so far over his head Nino was certain he might drown, but it was Adrien who was fucking Chat Noir. Nino was going to try.

He grabbed Chat Noir by the shoulders and yanked him back to a sitting position, but Chat Noir didn’t meet his gaze.

“Dude, look at me.”

Chat Noir squeezed his eyes closed harder, his form still shaking under Nino’s hold. 

“Adrien,” he growled. “Open your eyes and look at me!” 

Chat Noir’s eyes blinked open, though they were flooded with tears, so Nino doubted he could bring anything into focus, but whatever. “You’re going to hear me right now, okay?” 

Chat Noir nodded. 

“You are amazing and worthwhile and good! I know for a fact that we’d all be dead a hundred times if it wasn’t for Chat Noir.”

Chat Noir started to shake his head.  “Lady-”

“No! Shut up! Don’t tell me Ladybug is more important or that she’d figure it out without you. She’s not! And she wouldn’t.” Nino then proceeded to rant about how Chat Noir was vital in taking down like a dozen different akumas, and God, Nino had never been more grateful for having a super-hero obsessed girlfriend than in that moment because how would he have been able to pull all the evidence out of his head without Alya talking his ear off for hours at a time specifically about the working dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir. The roles they played in battle and how they supported each other. 

Chat Noir continued to sit there, his eyes glassy, just taking in every word as Nino berated him about how important he was.

“I’m sorry that no one could see your pain, that no one knew you needed to hear stuff like this. I’m sorry that I missed it,” and now Nino’s throat was trying to close off, but he swallowed convulsively. He couldn’t stop talking. Not yet. “I am so mad at myself for not knowing, for not seeing, for adding to your pain when I didn’t know. I wish I had been a better friend.”

“Nino…” Chat Noir interrupted, finally finding his voice. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” 

Nino barreled forward, ignoring the compliment. “I also want you to know that I’m sure if Ladybug knew that you were hurting or that you felt unneeded, she would feel just as awful as I do right now.” 

“Nino, I don’t want you to feel awful. I don’t want her to feel awful either.” 

“Well, too bad. You don’t get to decide how I feel. And I may be the best friend you’ve ever had, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve better. And I’m going to try to do that.”

Chat Noir pulled him into a hug. “I… don’t know what to say.” 

Nino squeezed him harder. “You don’t have to say anything, dude.”

“Thank you for saying all that. If… if Ladybug takes my miraculous, I think I’m still glad that you figured me out.”

“Dude! Ladybug won’t take it. She wouldn’t ever.” 

“I know she didn’t take yours. But I think the rules are different for me.” 

Nino froze. This was why Adrien had been so upset that he and Alya knew each other’s identities. Nino had never realized that people on the team couldn’t know.

“So we won’t tell anyone,” Nino assured. 

Chat Noir smiled sadly. “Do you think you can keep that secret?” 

“Yes!” 

“Because you kinda spilled your guts to me the other day. Told me a ton of things you shouldn’t have told Adrien.” 

Nino pressed his lips together. “You know that’s only because I trust you, don’t you?” 

“And I’m touched. You have no idea! But I’m also Chat Noir and if there’s a vulnerability, Ladybug needs to know.” 

“But I don’t want you to lose your miraculous either. No one will know about this from me. I will never say it out loud. Promise!” 

“Even from Alya?” 

And Nino knew in that moment, he could keep it a secret from Alya. He could if it was for Adrien. 

Just like he could keep Alya’s secrets from Adrien.

He cared about them both that much. 

“Look dude, Alya and I respect each other’s boundaries. Yes, we tell each other everything about ourselves. But if she realizes I know something, all I would have to say is that it’s someone else’s secret and she would respect it.”

Chat Noir sighed. “I’ll… ummm… think about it.”

“I don’t mean to ask you to lie to Ladybug, dude. I didn’t mean it that way. I just want you to know I’m with you either way.”

“Thank you, Nino.” 

They grew quiet just sitting side by side on the bed, Nino finally feeling at peace with his own guilt. He still worried for Adrien. Obviously. But at least now, maybe Nino could be there for him.

Chat Noir opened his mouth for a second, only to close it again. 

“What is it?” Nino prompted.

“She told someone her identity.” 

“Well then, you should be fine!” 

“I don’t know. Like I said, the rules have always been different for me.” 

“That doesn’t seem right to me, dude.”

“Yeah.” 

And Nino knew that Adrien was always going to struggle with confronting the girl he loved for any reason. 

“Have you tried talking to her about that?” 

Chat Noir’s free hand rubbed the back of his neck. “No? Well, I did tell her that I was afraid that not knowing her identity meant that one day she might just disappear and then, I would never know what happened to her.” 

Nino sucked in a breath, his gut twisting painfully at those words. Ladybug probably had no idea that Chat Noir had already experienced someone just vanishing without a trace. 

“What did she say?”

“That she would never abandon me,” Chat Noir repeated hollowly. 

“That’s what your mom used to say when she was sick?”

“Yeah,” Chat said, and then he was crying again. “I’m so scared, Nino. I don’t know how I would handle it if something happened to her.”

“That’s why you’re so willing to sacrifice yourself for her during akumas?” 

“Yeah… it makes her really mad sometimes.” 

Nino pressed his lips together, silently agreeing with Ladybug.

“But when that fear strikes, nothing else matters. Not how mad she’s going to be. Not my friends or my father. Not even me. All that matters is that she’s okay. As long as that’s true, anything else is worth it. Anything.”

Nino didn’t like it. “Do you think you could become the next Hawkmoth?” 

Chat Noir turned to him, his eyes wide in horror. “What?!” 

Nino shrugged. “You said anything. So if Ladybug was somehow lost to you, do you think you could become the next Hawkmoth to find her again?”

“I…” and then the hero wilted. “No. I couldn’t do what Hawkmoth does.”

Nino smiled in relief. “I bet we could find her without terrorizing the whole city.”

“Huh?”

“If Ladybug is ever lost. Between you and Alya, we could find her.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, dude. I really do! I honestly believe the only reason the two of you haven’t already figured her out is because she doesn’t want you to, and you both respect that.”

“I don’t know. If she disappeared, would she even want me to find her?”

“Ladybug thinks the world of you, dude.”

Chat Noir snorted. “Did I tell you about the time she threw me into a trash can?” 

Nino rolled his eyes. “If any of us say anything that could be interpreted even slightly off, she jumps down our throats.” 

“Really?”

“Dude! I’m not even exaggerating."

“So you said something off about me at some other point?” Chat Noir asked with arched eyebrows.

“Dude! That time I didn’t mean it like that! She just…” 

Chat Noir started laughing.

“...interpreted it that way! And it wasn’t anything bad. You had told a joke. And all I had said was, I’ve heard that one before.”

“Maybe you had heard it before from me.”

Nino snorted in laughter. “Yeah, maybe. But you should have seen her glare. She looked straight at me and said with a tone cold as ice, “Chat Noir’s material is completely original, and absolutely hilarious. You’d best remember that.”

“She actually said that?”

“I swear to god! That’s exactly what happened. I’m sure Alya can tell you a ton of ridiculous stories about Ladybug getting all protective over her partner.”

“Really?”

“Dude! Really! Do you seriously think I’d lie about something like this? Get your hopes all up only to have them dashed later?” 

“That would be rather cruel,” Chat Noir said with a playful grin.

Nino didn’t smile back. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that we care about you?”

Chat Noir shrugged. “Maybe it’s just scarier if you do.”

Nino sucked in a breath. “Fuck, dude.” 

“I’m sor…”

“Nope! Nope! None of that.”

“I was scared to come here,” Chat Noir admitted. 

“Why?”

Chat Noir shrugged. “I just… I already felt weird around you since what you said to me about Chat Noir. And I was scared that talking to you would make things worse. And that I might lose whatever friendship we had left.”

“What changed your mind?” 

“It sounded this morning like you needed something that only Chat Noir could give you. And while I wasn’t willing to risk it for my own well-being, I wanted things to be okay for you again.” 

Nino smiled. “Thanks, dude. I do feel much better now. How are you feeling?”

“I… I’m feeling raw, but… I think I’m glad I came. But ask me again if Ladybug takes my miraculous.” 

“She won’t, dude. She won’t.”

“I’m glad one of us is confident. Say, do you have any cheese?” 

Nino frowned. “Yeah? I think so. Why?” 

“Plagg, claws in.”

There was a flash of green. And now it was Adrien sitting next to him, fidgeting in front of Nino all over again in obvious nerves, this time, sans mask, a floating cat kwami manifesting into his hands.

“This is Plagg,” Adrien introduced.

“Nice to meet you, kwami dude!” Nino said with a grin.

Plagg glared at him. “Did you apologize for all that crap you said to my chosen?”

Nino ducked his head down in shame. “Yes.” 

Plagg’s whole demeanor changed instantly. “Great! Let’s have a party! You got any cheese?”

“I have always wanted to hang out here with you,” Adrien admitted, his eyes glancing around the room with undisguised eagerness.

Nino grinned. “Dude! Yes! We can make a tradition out of it! Let me run downstairs and get some stuff. Cheese you say?”

“For me!” Plagg said. “Camembert if you have it. I will not be sharing, so get some disgusting human food, too.”

Nino laughed. “You got it!” He tossed a controller to Adrien. “Get UMS started up while I’m downstairs.”

“Aren’t you terrible at this game?” Adrien asked. 

“Only when playing against you or Marinette.” 

“And Max.” 

“Just for that, I’m going to beat your ass,” Nino called back as he ran downstairs, determined to show Adrien the time of his life even if that meant losing to him five or ten times in a row at Ultimate Mecha Strike.

For the first time since Nino had been akumatized as Rocketear, Nino was actually grateful that he had misconstrued everything between him and Alya because it had led him to this - a chance to know his best friend that much better, a chance to truly serve in Adrien’s corner.

And maybe, now that he knew that Adrien could abuse his powers to sneak out, they might have more unauthorized hang outs. 

It was going to be awesome.

…

Chapter Text

Adrien exalted in the feeling of vaulting from building to building as Chat Noir. He focused solely on the placement of his baton to guide his movement across Paris’s skyline, and the sensation of the air sliding through his unstyled hair. 

It was freeing.

It reminded him that he was alive. 

He landed in a crouch at his and Ladybug’s usual rendezvous point half an hour early with only a small amount of trepidation. After working with her for nine years, he knew she wasn’t going to be pleased with him. She never was after he had sacrificed himself in the middle of an akuma battle. It never mattered that it was often the only way to keep her in the fight. 

And according to Plagg, this sacrifice had been more terrible than normal. He hadn’t been zapped out of existence or turned into an inanimate object. He had apparently actually died, saved only by Carapace’s endurance and Ladybug’s miraculous cure.

So he settled on the edge of the building half an hour early, prepping himself to reassure that he was totally and completely fine. That he wasn’t affected by this mere setback, that he would always be there at her side. She needed that confidence, even if it was a lie because he knew that she was struggling.

With what, he didn’t exactly know, but she needed something more than she was currently getting, and he promised himself that he would do everything he could to support her. 

He hadn’t been sitting long when he was tackled from behind in a bear hug. 

He laughed and turned around. “Apparently, I’m not the only one who’s early today. Eager to see me, m’lady?” he teased, pulling back just enough to pull her hand to his lips, depositing a kiss on her knuckles, as he searched her face. 

She was not smiling at him, and her eyes watered at the same time.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly, as he released her hand.

“Am I alright?!” she repeated incredulously. “Are you alright?!”

“I’m fine! I swear I’ve survived worse.”

She glanced away, but she wasn’t fast enough. He saw the tear slip down her cheek. “I’m not sure that’s true this time.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward. “I don’t know what to say. I’m fine now.”

And then she smiled brightly, but her tears were still falling. He wanted to wipe them away. He didn’t. 

“I’m glad,” she said. “I was really worried about you. Carapace was too.”

“He was?” Adrien asked, his eyebrows scrunched together in surprise.

“He yelled at me,” she admitted, a blush blooming across her face. 

“I’ll talk to him.”

“No! He was right! I… I sometimes feel like I’m not the best at being Ladybug.” Her shoulders dropped and her face fell.

“What are you talking about? You’ve literally never lost! And you’ve had to decipher some cryptic lucky charms.”

She blushed under his praise, but she wouldn’t look at him.

“Last night, I didn’t do a good job,” she said softly, “I just wanted it to be over, and I tried to rush it. And you were the one that almost paid the price.”

“LB, I’m fine.”

“But you weren’t. You died. You actually died.”

Her breathing quickened, and her eyes went wild.

He put a hand on her shoulder, leaning into her line of sight.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Look at me.”

Her wide blue eyes swiveled to him, but her breaths still came in shallow rapid pulses. She grabbed onto his arms, clinging to him like a baby chimpanzee clung to its mother, trembling like a leaf in an autumn storm.

“Breathe,” he urged, their gazes locked on one another.

She took in a shaky breath, and he smiled his encouragement. She took in another.

And then another.

And then her panic broke, and she threw herself into his embrace and just cried.

He rubbed her back and held her until she calmed.

“Have they been bad?” he whispered when she stopped shaking.

She nodded. “I can’t break them when you’re not here anymore,” she admitted. “I’ve tried everything. They can last for twenty or thirty minutes.”

He squeezed her tighter, his own eyes welling with tears. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I wish I could be there all the time.”

She pulled away, and he reluctantly let her go. She scrubbed the tear tracks from her face. “It’s not your fault,” she said.

His heart fell. He wished that they could reveal to one another, but she had told him years and years ago that it could lead to the end of all things. The hardest part of that revelation for him had been that he couldn’t be there for her when she needed more than he could give her as Chat Noir.

He pulled her slowly into his side. She nestled next to him, with her head on his shoulder and he let himself hold her. She didn’t speak, and he felt no inclination to break the silence between them. Sometimes, words just weren’t needed.

“I wish I could stay here forever,” she whispered. 

“Me too,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “Are you okay?”

“Better now. It’s better to see you, to feel you, and know you’re okay.”

He squeezed her tighter. The close calls were always hard on both of them. And over the years, there had unfortunately been more than a few of them.

“Carapace gave you CPR for like an hour before the ladybugs healed everything,” she said, her voice toneless. “Plagg said that if he hadn’t kept your heart going, the ladybugs wouldn’t have worked.” 

Adrien sucked in a breath. “What?” he exhaled. “But why wouldn’t they have worked?” he asked. Her ladybugs had brought him back before. Granted, his peril had always been of the “turned into a statue” or “blinked out of existence” variety, but he had been no less gone. 

She hunched into a ball, still rolled into his side. “I don’t know,” she sobbed, “but Tikki admitted that he was likely right. She said that the ladybugs would have healed your body, but that your soul would have already been gone. Apparently, it works better when your body is completely destroyed. She said she couldn’t explain it.”

She trembled in his arms, but one glance at her face told him it was due to her tears and not another panic attack, so he just held her and she cried harder. 

He knew there was nothing to be done except to let her cry herself out, so he just rocked her in place. “I’m okay,” he assured. “I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry,” she croaked.

“For?”

“For falling to pieces when you were the one that died.”

“For trying to rush that battle,” she continued. “I don’t know what I would have done if Carapace hadn’t been there. If the Ladybugs hadn’t worked. I wouldn’t have survived it.”

“Please don’t say that.”

She looked at him then. Her blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He could see the bags under her eyes even through the mask.

“I wouldn’t have. And I’m still so mad at myself.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he insisted.

“But it was!” she bit out harshly.

He shook his head. “We agreed long ago that it’s all Hawkmoth’s responsibility.”

“This was different though,” she growled. “I made the wrong decision, not because I thought I was right, but because I was feeling resentful and lazy!” 

“You are not lazy!” he growled. “We all have days when the Akumas are the last thing any of us want to deal with.”

But it was like his words fell on deaf ears.

“My judgment is compromised,” she concluded, her gaze turned towards the city below them, but her eyes were clouded and unfocused. 

“We all have bad days,” he insisted again.

“I only seem to have bad days.”

He frowned. “This is more than last night, isn’t it? What’s this actually about? What’s wrong?”

She sighed, and her shoulders dropped. He had never seen her so worn down, so defeated. “I just… keep having these thoughts. Like why do I have to work so hard, why do I have to sacrifice everything, so everyone else can be safe?”

He squeezed his eyes shut against her words, willing his own tears to stay back. She needed him in this moment. 

“I don’t know, LB,” he whispered. “I don't know. 

“Do you think this will ever be over?” she asked, her voice quiet and hoarse. 

“We haven’t had a lead in awhile, but that doesn’t mean we’ll never have a lead again.” 

“Three years. And Hawkmoth doesn’t seem like the type to give up no matter how many times he fails because he only has to win once. It doesn’t matter how many times he fails. We have to be fucking perfect.”

“Tell me what you need,” he begged, clutching her hand within both of his own. “What can I do? I want to support you, LB. You know that I do. I will do anything.”

The wind was cold and biting, and Ladybug was once again staring into the distance without seeing. 

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she finally whispered. 

The world seemed to shrink around him, pressing down from all sides. He forgot how to breathe even as his heart took off like a herd of wild horses.

“Wh-what are you saying?” he managed, his voice sounding strangled even in his own ears. 

“I’m sure it’s just a phase. I’ll be fine,” she said, pasting on a false smile, and it might have worked if he didn’t know her so well, if he wasn’t an expert at fake smiles himself.

“I am a good Ladybug, or at least I was. But I’ve turned into something I don’t like as the Guardian.”

His heart sank with every word. She wasn’t okay. And he knew from his own experience that she wasn’t going to be. 

Not without something changing drastically.

“I’m paranoid. I don’t trust anyone,” she continued. He wondered when the last time she had truly unburdened herself like this, or if this was the first time. He hoped that wasn’t the case. Surely, she could at least talk to her kwami. 

But would Tikki understand? 

“And I can’t be completely honest with anyone in my life either. My relationships with my friends and family feel hollow. Like I’m just going through the motions. It doesn’t feel real,” she said, staring blankly into the distance.

“And they can tell. They keep reaching out to me, and I love them for that, but they can tell that I’m not reciprocating, and it takes longer for them to try again. I’m so scared that someday they’ll stop trying all together.” She turned back to him then. “I’m amazed that any of them still do! I certainly don’t like the shadow I’ve become, so why would anyone else?!” 

“Can you not be yourself as Ladybug?” he asked.

“I am! And I’m not. I don’t know how to explain it. You’re the only person in my life that I trust anymore, Chaton. And I can’t share everything with you either.”

He wished he had something to say. He wanted to tell her that she could tell him everything. He would listen, he would support her, but he knew she wouldn’t ever risk it. 

“I don’t feel like a good leader. I don’t think long term. I just react to the situation in front of me. I rely on the rules because they’re all I have, but I apply them inconsistently or am constantly taking short cuts. I’m literally risking the lives of my friends and teammates to spare myself an hour of time during an akuma battle? And I hate myself, but I keep making the same choice.

“And I’m not thinking about how to defeat Hawkmoth,” she continued, “or even just how to find him. I’m just trying to survive the next minute, and sometimes, I can’t even face that.”

She stopped talking then. And he waited to be certain that she was finished. But she didn’t continue. 

“You’re being awfully hard on yourself, my lady,” he told her, praying that she would hear him, and more importantly that she would believe him. “This is hard, and you’re only human. You’re allowed to make mistakes.”

“Master Fu managed to keep the miraculous a secret for almost two centuries!” 

“You’re comparing yourself to a man who had more than a century of practice. You don’t know how many times he messed up during all that time. And he wasn’t also fighting battles on the front lines at the same time.”

“Yeah… but I think the problem is I don’t want it. I don’t even want to be Ladybug anymore.”

His eyes watered. He feared his words weren’t going to be enough, but they were all he had. And he had to try. 

“I got a job offer overseas awhile back,” she said. “It was such an opportunity for exactly what I want to do, right after I didn’t get a job in Paris. I didn’t even apply for the job. A firm here in Paris just passed it along to them. No one in my life understood why I didn’t take it. And I wish with every bone in my body that I could’ve gone. And since then, this only feels like a ball and chain weighing me down. I feel like I’ll never really get to live my life.” 

“I’m so tired of fighting. I’m tired of secrets. We are no closer to defeating Hawkmoth than we were when we started. And it’s been almost a decade! When do I get to live my life?!”

He yanked her into his arms, the tears now flowing freely over his mask.

He knew what he needed to say. But he didn’t want to. It was going to rip out his own heart to give this to her.

But he had never been able to deny her anything.

Even when it cost him. 

“You don’t have to, you know,” he said, proud of himself for how steady his words came out. 

“What?”

“I know what it feels like to feel suffocated and trapped. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, m’lady. Least of all you. You don’t have to keep being the Guardian. Or even…” his voice cracked, but he forced himself to keep going. “Or even Ladybug.” 

He didn’t want her to go. He didn’t even want to think about her forgetting him. 

But more than that, he wanted her to be okay. He wanted her to have a chance to breathe, to heal, and to be happy again.

He would make any sacrifice to let her have that. 

“You do realize that if I stop being the guardian, I won’t remember ever being Ladybug, right?” 

He didn’t try to stop his tears. “I’m not going to lie. I don’t want you to go. And I don’t want you to forget me. But you can’t choose based on what’s best for me, m’lady. You have to choose what’s best for you. And if that’s a price you’re willing to pay… then who am I to say no?”

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. He had to look away, unable to face the surprise on her face. Did she think he wouldn’t support her in every way possible? Did she really think that he would prioritize what he wanted over what she needed? 

A second later her arms slammed around his torso and he almost tipped over before he managed to restabilize both of them. “I have no idea what I ever did to deserve you?!”

He let his arms circle around her. His grip tightened each second they held each other, suddenly terrified this might be the last time he held her. 

She squeezed back just as hard. 

Maybe she feared the same thing. 

“Would you want it?” she finally asked. 

“The guardianship?” he asked, still clinging to her. “I will take it if you need me to, but I don’t know if I’d be a good leader.” 

“I think you’d be better at it than me,” she whispered, pulling away. 

He missed her already. 

“I don’t know,” he said. “You talk about only following rules, but you think with your brain. I tend to just react - I think with my heart and my gut. And in the moment, that’s often helpful, but making strategic long term decisions?” he shrugged. “That’s not my strength.”

She didn’t say anything for a minute, considering him with a thoughtful expression. “I will think about it. I haven’t really made up my mind.”

He nodded stoically. But it was clear she craved the freedom. Clear that she needed an escape. He knew what she would choose.

And it had never been him. 

“I promise if I decide to give it up I will come talk to you,” she said, rising to her feet. 

He nodded. “Of course.” His throat felt tight.

“Chaton?”

He cocked his head toward her. His head on his knees. 

“I love you.” 

He closed his eyes against her words.

“I know I’ve never been able to give you what you wanted or what you needed,” she said. 

“You’ve given me more than I ever thought possible,” he confessed. He never wanted to ask for more than she was willing to give. 

“Maybe,” she conceded. “But I want you to have even more. You deserve the absolute best.”

He couldn’t look at her, and a few minutes later the familiar zip of her yoyo announced her departure. 

He remained sitting and unmoving on the top of that tower long after the sun had set. Somehow, his eyes remained dry. 

… 

A week had gone by since he and Ladybug had talked, and it was like nothing had changed. There had been only one akuma that week, and it had been easily dealt with. She had been in rare form during the battle, smiling and joyful, like she was enjoying the role for the first time in years. She seemed tired, but lighter and he was relieved. He found himself hoping that something had shifted for her, and that she would stay.

But they hadn’t talked about it and he was terrified of bringing it up. And then she had asked him for this meeting so they could talk and his fears were rumbling in his gut all over again.

He didn’t want things to change. Not between him and Ladybug. But he promised himself he would support her in whatever decision she made even if didn’t want her to leave. Even if he couldn’t contemplate doing this without her, couldn’t imagine ever filling her role on the team. 

For her, he would try.

He sighed, letting his masked face fall backwards, peering at the darkening sky overhead that was filled with thick gray clouds. He hoped it wouldn’t rain, but that was probably wishful thinking on his part.

As was hoping she wanted to talk to him about anything other than her leaving. 

He heard her arrival before he saw her. The zip of her yo-yo was a sound he associated with her and had somehow become one of the best sounds in the world. 

She landed lightly next to him, and sat down beside him. She sat so close there was almost no space between them.

She didn’t say anything. She just followed his gaze and stared into the overcast sky that was growing darker by the minute. He couldn’t identify her expression. She was smiling slightly, but her eyes were sad. Her fingers curled into his gloved hand and he squeezed back, her silence telling him everything he needed to know. 

He glanced down at their joined hands. 

“You’re leaving.” They were the only words he managed before his throat lodged close and his eyes welled with tears.

And then she was crying, too. He untangled their fingers so he could wrap an arm around her. She found his other hand a second later and clung to it harder than he could ever remember.

He smiled gently. “I’m really going to miss you.” 

She crumpled into a ball again at him. “I'm going to miss you, too,” she sobbed. “So much.” 

He held her tightly. “I appreciate the sentiment, bug. But you won’t.” 

Her cries intensified and he just rocked her for several moments until eventually she calmed. “I’m sure some corner of my heart will remember. And I will definitely miss you,” she said, her voice raw.

He squeezed her tighter. “I’m really proud of you,” he told her. 

Her eyes blew open, and she stared at him like he had grown a third set of ears. “What?! You’re proud of me for quitting?!” 

He nodded. “I’m proud of you for doing what you always do. Looking an impossible situation in the face, and the deciding what needs to be done and just doing it. No matter how much it costs you. You are so brave.”

Her eyes glanced away. “I don’t feel brave.” 

He shrugged. “I just tell it like I see it.” He knew there would be no convincing her, so he didn’t elaborate. “What’s the plan?” he asked instead, knowing she wouldn’t tell him she was leaving until she had all the details worked out. 

“I’ve been training Carapace this week to take on the Guardianship.”

He was so thrown, the sentence didn’t compute for a second. 

“What? Carapace? Why him?” 

And even before she answered he realized he only felt relief. He had been terrified to take on the role himself, and he had been just as terrified he would have an unfamiliar face that he had to train. 

But Nino? He was prepared and experienced with the miraculous. Adrien trusted him through and through already. And Adrien could see Nino slipping into the Guardian role so seamlessly, Adrien wondered how he hadn’t considered the possibility before.

“There’s a lot of sensible reasons why he’s a good fit, but honestly, I chose him for one reason only.” She paused, her eyes looking right up at him. “If I gave it to you, you’d be all alone. So I had to give it to someone else, and he’s the only person I trust to protect you even more than I would.” 

He sucked in a breath, and his heart squeezed in his chest.

She turned back to the cloud-filled sky. 

“He also has a good balance with what you talked about before. He thinks with his head, but he also sees us all as real people.”

Chat Noir nodded, but he didn’t say anything not trusting his ability to form words.

“Thank you,” she said into the silence. 

His eyebrows furrowed together under his mask. “What for?”

“For letting me go? You always were too good to me. And I’ve only been selfish.”

“You are not selfish!”

“This feels selfish.” 

He took her hand again and squeezed it tightly. “LB, you’ve been at this for nine years. Serving the city in secret takes its toll. It bleeds into every part of your life. It’s hard on your relationships, your school work, your career. You’ve done almost a decade of service. If your heart's not in it anymore, you’re allowed to retire… go live your own life for you.”

Her eyes turned glassy. “How did I not fall in love with you right in the beginning?” she asked, her voice trembling. 

“I have no idea,” his voice glib, even as his heart tore into shreds.

She didn’t laugh. “I was an idiot!” 

His eyes squeezed shut. “Please stop,” he begged.

A single tear slipped over her mask before she could wipe it away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes downcast. “I’m being selfish again.” 

“You’re not!” he insisted harshly. “You’re being honest.” He considered her for a moment before he turned his attention back to the swirling clouds. “And maybe you’re right. Maybe if someone who wants to do the job takes up the mantle, we’ll do even better. And this is the most selfless thing you could do. Take your ego out of it.”

She clung to his transformed hand. “You always see me in the best light.”

“You deserve it.”

And for once she didn’t argue. He was grateful for small mercies.

She hugged him fiercely instead. “Thank you for always having my back,” she whispered into his ear. “For teaching me what real love looks like. And for everything! It doesn’t seem like enough to say.”

And she was crying again. He hugged her back, breathing in the scent of her hair and trying to memorize what it felt like to have her form pressed against his own, knowing the memory of their current embrace might have to last him for a lifetime. 

“And thank you for giving me an ideal to live up to,” he murmured into her hair. “For being my dearest friend, for trusting me for all these years, and for trusting me to take care of your city in your stead,” he said. 

She tucked her head under his chin, like he alone could shelter her from the storm that was brewing above.

“I have one last selfish thing to ask of you,” she whispered.

“Anything,” he promised, leaning his cheek into her hair.

“I want to tell you who I am.” 

He tensed for a moment, and pulled away enough that he could see her face. Her bright blue eyes stared back unerringly. And his heart twisted in his chest. 

At least this way he wouldn’t have to wonder if he would ever see her again. 

He nodded. “As long as I can reciprocate?” 

Her eyes clouded and she hesitated. “Are you trying to change my mind?”

He shook his head. “Never! But you’re allowed to if you want.”

“I… don’t…”

“It’s okay, bug. There’s no pressure here.” 

“Thank you for that. I just... I wanted you to know who I am because I want to continue to be in your life. I want you to be able to find me, and I know I won’t remember, but…”

“I understand,” he said, cutting her off. “You can tell me if you want. You don’t have to.”

“I want to!” she exclaimed. Her excitement was so clear he suspected that she had hated the secret as much as he had since the beginning even without threats of the end of the world hanging over their heads.

She peered up at him, biting her lip, fidgeting nervously. 

He grinned. He hadn’t seen this side of her in a long time.

“So… I guess it’s just easier to show you,” she said, leaning back. “Tikki, spots off.”

He closed his eyes. It was an ingrained habit by now. And she laughed, shaking his arm. “You’re supposed to look!”

He took another breath and forced his eyes open, and stared at her familiar face in shock. “Mari…?”

She grinned.

“I’m such an idiot!”

Her smile widened. “I always wondered if you knew more than you were admitting when you started showing up regularly on my balcony.”

He laughed. “You give me too much credit.” 

“I think I didn’t give you enough credit,” she countered softly, her smile falling and her gaze returning to her now bare hands. She shivered, not dressed for the weather. 

He reached forward and took her hand, praying her smile would return.

“I had another reason for feeling comfortable on your balcony, Marinette.” 

She looked up at him with arched eyebrows.

“Plagg, claws in.” 

Her eyes dilated and her mouth dropped open. 

And goodness, he felt so vulnerable in front of her, like he had been stripped naked. 

She seized him in another hug. 

“Adrien!! I’m so glad it’s you.” 

“You are?”

“There’s no way I’m going to stop being a part of Adrien’s life! This honestly explains so much. Why being Chat Noir has always been so important to you,” she rambled. “I’m so sorry. I was so blind.” Tears fell down her face once again.

He brushed them away with the pad of his thumb. “It’s not like I wasn’t just as blind,” he soothed. “I can’t believe you’ve been right here this whole time. I feel like I should have figured it out.”

“Me too,” she whispered.

“It was hard for me to hear about Marinette leaving for New York,” he admitted. “Especially when I knew Ladybug might be leaving, too.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

He shook his head. “Actually, it makes it easier.”

She scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. 

“I understand why Marinette didn’t go before. And why she needs to now. I can be happy for the freedom you’re gaining.” 

“How are you always so sweet?!” she whined. “I’ll have you know I had the biggest crush on you since the day you gave me your umbrella in the rain and that continued all the way through lycee! So big and embarrassing that I kept saying no to my amazing partner even though I knew he was crazy about me.”

“Really?!” he asked, laughing. “I hated that boy! For not seeing you. I guess I only have myself to blame.” 

When he gave her his umbrella? He racked his brain. He had only done that once. But that was the day they met. She’d loved him for that long? They’d loved each other for that long?

“I guess you did fall in love with me right at the beginning after all,” he said softly, wanting to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come.

She smiled sadly. “But we never lined up at the right time. I’m sorry.”

And now they never would. Because she was going to forget so much of their time together.

But… she wouldn’t forget all of it. She would remember Adrien.

He pulled her into another hug. “I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything, m’lady.”

And it was true. He loved her. And loving her had changed him. He had needed her light in his world where he didn’t know what affection looked like.

“Me neither, Chaton,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “Me neither.” 

He pulled back. “Will Marinette remember me?” he asked urgently. 

She frowned. “What do you mean? I should remember Adrien from how I understand it. The memory loss protection has to be subtle - if it’s not, it’s too easy to identify former guardians by anyone who knows how the magic works.” 

He shook his head. “I mean, I know you’re going to forget Ladybug. And all the time you spent with Chat Noir as Ladybug, but will you remember the random times that Chat Noir showed up on your balcony and hung out with Marinette?”

“I…” and she shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know? I hope so.”

“I hope so, too.” He pulled her back into the hug. 

“Are you scared?” he asked. “To forget?” 

“Terrified,” she whispered. “Being Ladybug… it has been such a defining part of me for so long. I wonder if I will change without those memories.”

The both sat back down on the rooftop’s edge with their feet dangling over the edge as they had countless times before. Only this time there were no suits, no masks between them. 

This one time only. 

“Perhaps, we could come up with some work around,” he suggested. “Maybe you don’t have to give up being the Guardian technically. You could just… I don’t know, leave the box with Nino. Show him how to access it.”

She smiled sadly. “It’s a nice idea, but Nino can only be the Guardian if he bonds with the box. That’s what will allow him to summon a miraculous straight to the field. And the box is like a miraculous itself - it gives you the power to be able to see people’s auras.”

“What?” 

“It gives you a sense about people, and it helps you whether they’d be good holders or not. It’s gradual. I didn’t even notice it at first.” 

“We have enough holders already,” he countered. “We don’t need this ability.” 

“He has to choose a new Ladybug,” she said softly. 

“You could choose a new Ladybug before you go,” he insisted. 

A tear slipped down her cheek, and she took his hands. “Chaton, I wish I knew of another way. Or at least a way, where you didn’t have to pay this price. But I won’t go and not make sure that you and Nino have every single advantage and tool I can give you. Do you understand?” 

“It doesn’t seem fair,” he insisted petulantly. It wasn’t fair. Not to her, and not to him either. 

A tear slipped down her cheek. “I know. I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” Her eyes turned glassy. 

His eyes widened, and he reached for her. “There’s nothing to forgive!” he insisted. “Nothing,” he repeated when she remained silent. 

She nodded, and her chin shook. “I love you,” she choked out. 

He yanked her into his arms. Tears sprang to his eyes. “I love you, too.”

“This is good-bye?” she asked. 

His whole body shook like an earthquake, and he held her tighter. “Goodbye m’lady,” he whispered, his voice shaking. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” 

She pulled away, tears streaming freely in thin rivulets down her cheeks. “And I hope you find the love you long for. Someone who can be for you what I never was.”

She leaned forward and kissed him gently. It was soft and it was warm. He breathed in the floral scent of her hair. He tried to stay in that moment forever, but she was already pulling away. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes, savoring the only kiss from his lady that he remembered. The memory would have to last him a lifetime. 

Then she was gone.

And Adrien was alone. His stomach dropped like an avalanche, and his whole body crumpled like tissue paper. The cry that tore past his lips didn’t sound human. He didn’t have words for the maelstrom of grief that overtook him.

He didn’t fight the raw wracking grief. He wanted to feel this pain.

Tomorrow, he would find the strength to stand up once again as he had so many times before. And this time, he would do it for her. He would protect all of Paris in her stead so that she could be free.

Chapter Text

The akuma had been straightforward for once. Except that Ladybug hadn’t been able to keep her head in the game. She was so tired.

Tired of akumas. 

Tired of juggling dual personas, lies, and secrets.

But luckily for her, Chat, Carapace, and Purple Tigress had pulled off her plan seamlessly. So seamlessly it felt like they were on the same wavelength. Ladybug felt like a stumbling toddler in comparison. But both Chat and Carapace had covered for her, and purple Tigress had gone in for the strike, and it all ended well, she supposed. 

After the battle, Chat Noir’s familiar laugh rang through the air. And she found herself turning towards the sound, realizing she couldn’t remember the last time she heard it. He was cackling at something Carapace had just said, who was smirking, obviously pleased with himself. Purple Tigress was staring at the two, shaking her head in clear fond exasperation.

Their bantering didn’t stop there. Chat’s eyes were bright, open, and carefree. The expression on his face had once been familiar to her, but she couldn’t remember the last time he had looked at her like that.

Her heart twisted in her chest.

Chat Noir was her partner.

She tried to push away the thought. She had no right to be jealous. It was good for Chat to work well with others on the team. 

And she wanted him to be happy. That was a good thing. She realized that he hadn’t been for a long time. 

And she hadn’t really noticed. 

She followed Purple Tigress to their rendezvous, collected her miraculous on autopilot before running off to meet with Carapace. He detransformed the moment she arrived, the grin on his face never wavering.

Despite her mixed feelings, she couldn’t help but return the expression. Nino’s smiles were always infectious. 

“You and Chat seemed to be getting on well,” she commented. 

His golden eyes darted towards her and then away. “Yeah,” he said, pinching his own shoulder. “Uh… we were able to hash everything out about a week ago. Now we’re bros.” 

He wasn’t looking at her. He was looking over her shoulder, his shoulders hunched, like he was an actual turtle trying to hide his head in his shell.

She frowned. 

Did she make him that nervous?

Or maybe he was just embarrassed over the whole thing. 

“I’m glad,” she made herself say with a smile. “I was worried about the two of you.” 

He waved away her concerns. “All of that was my fault. If you had needed to keep the turtle from me for the sake of your partnership and the team, I would have understood.” 

And now she was really confused. Had their fight been that bad? She wouldn’t have guessed it based on how chummy they had been just a few minutes ago.

“It feels weird being Carapace without Rena anyway,” he rambled, his eyes shifting to anything and everything that was not her. His foot was tapping on the floor and he continued to fidget in place like a child at a formal dinner. 

“Do you not want the miraculous anymore?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed together. 

His eyes shot up, and his whole form tensed. “That’s not what I’m saying! I… I love getting to do this with Chat Noir!” He exclaimed. Then his eyes widened. “And you, too, of course!” he tacked on rapidly. 

She laughed. 

“I’m just saying, I would’ve understood.” he trailed off, glanced at her for a second before his gaze locked onto the ground once again. “Sorry,” he said, sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to offend-”

She just shook her head. “It’s okay, Nino. Can I tell you a secret?” 

“Uh… sure?”

“Chat Noir is my favorite, too.” 

His form loosened in relief, and his familiar smile stretched across his mouth. 

Until it immediately faded. “Does he know that?”

“What?”

“That he’s your favorite?”

She frowned. “Of course he does.”

Nino’s lips pressed together. He clearly didn’t agree. 

He waved his hands dismissively. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You haven’t really said anything,” she said, except now she was worried. She had just realized Chat had been down, and Nino was now implying that she had something to do with that? “Is he mad at me?”

Nino’s teeth bit into his lower lip. “I don’t know if he’d want me to tell you, but… I… uh… think you need to know?” he trailed off like it was a question. 

And then he didn’t say anything. He just kept fidgeting under his gaze.

“Nino?” she prompted. 

“He’s going to kill me,” he mumbled. Then he looked right at her. “He uh… he’s hurting. Like a lot.” 

She wilted at his assessment, wanting him to be wrong, but knowing he was likely right. How had she not noticed that Chat had stopped laughing sooner? That Carapace had noticed before her was an extra layer of galling.

“And he’ll never say anything,” Nino said. “He’s terrified if he does, you’ll think you can’t depend on him anymore.” 

“He told you that?” 

“Uh…” he tapped his foot. “Not exactly that. Just, during our talk, he might have… uh… look, I can’t explain. He’ll kill me for even saying this much. But… can you talk to him please? While knowing that he is not okay, and that if you call him on it he will try to brush it off?” 

She nodded, her gut writhing with concern and worry. What was wrong? And how could she have missed it? 

She headed home, her mind whirling. 

Yeah, she had been wrapped up in her own things for awhile now. Everything with the Guardianship, then with Luka, and then Alya. Had something happened to her Kitty? What had she missed? Was it her fault? 

She detransformed. 

But she was quiet as the kwamis spiraled around her in greeting, acknowledging them with distant nods and half smiles only. 

Tikki flew up to her face, a half eaten cookie in her hands. 

“Marinette?” she prompted. 

Marinette turned to her. “You know who Chat is, right?” 

“You know that I do. I can’t tell you who he is though.” 

Marinette pressed her lips together. “I know. I’m not asking you to. But… Nino said some things about him.”

“Nino did?” Tikki repeated. 

Marinette nodded. “He said Chat was hurting. And that if I asked him about it, he would try to hide it.” 

Tikki nodded. “Yeah, that sounds right and is in line with what Plagg has said about him.” 

Marinette’s eyes instantly flooded with tears.

“Marinette?”

“Do you know what he would be hurt about?” 

“I don’t know exactly,” Tikki hedged. “I could guess, but I don’t know. And really, if you want to know you should talk to him yourself.” 

The words made Marinette feel worse. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? I hurt him somehow. That’s why he hasn’t told me.”

“It isn’t your fault!” Tikki insisted. “You can’t read his mind. He can’t expect that of you.”

Which only confirmed that she had been the one to hurt him. 

“But why wouldn’t he trust me?” she asked, already feeling her chin trembling. “Why wouldn’t he tell me himself?” 

“Marinette,” she said softly. “Chat Noir is in love with you. He doesn’t want you to see that part of him. He wants to be strong for you. He wants to support you, and he doesn’t want to add anything to your stress.” 

“That’s stupid!”

“And I hesitate to say this, but you haven’t exactly trusted him with all of your struggles either.” 

“But Tikki! I had to-!” 

Tikki waved her little red hands in concession. “I know! I know! But you have to understand that he may have reasons, too. Or he may not know yours, and it’s hard to be vulnerable with someone who is walling themselves off.” 

Marinette started crying openly now. “I need to see him. Are you good to transform?” 

Tikki nodded.

Marinette said the words and launched herself back into the Parisian skyline. She usually would have tried to get further away before calling him, but today she was in a rush.

She called him. But there was no answer. 

She shouldn’t have been surprised. They had just finished battling an akuma. No doubt he had to get back to whatever civilian life he had. 

And she found herself wondering for the first time what that life might be like. He had mentioned school before, so she knew that he was a student like her. She knew he sometimes had trouble getting away for battles. And she knew he was pretty good at science if his stupid science puns were anything to go by. 

And that was all. It felt like precious little, but she clung to the bits. 

His phone went to voicemail. “Hey,” she said softly, and then she was crying. She tried to choke it back knowing that he was going to hear this. “I need to see you,” she said. “Carapace said… Carapace said you weren’t okay. Please call me when you can. Tell me when we can meet up.” 

She hung up the phone and let herself fall to pieces, trying to figure out why she was reacting so strongly to this. It wasn’t like Nino said he was dying or devastated, or anything really. He had been vague. Maybe she was making this out into something way bigger than it was. 

But the tears kept coming. 

She didn’t fight them. She clutched her bugphone to her chest, hoping he would call her back. She sat on that rooftop with her knees pressed into her chest determined to wait, realizing she had kept him waiting too many times recently.

… 

Adrien barely made it back from the akuma in time for his private piano recital with his father. In fact he would have been late if his father had shown up on time himself. He made it through the recital with only one correction, and overall a stiff nod of approval. As soon as his father left the room, he let himself flop onto his bed. He was supposed to study chinese next according to his schedule, but even the thought of interpreting the latest set of hanzi characters sounded exhausting.

Plagg floated into his line of vision. 

“Ladybug left you a message.” 

There was once a time when that news would have had him bolting upright. 

But right now, he just sighed. He didn’t even bother to move before calling for his transformation. He pulled open the baton and listened to the message that Ladybug had left nearly two hours prior. 

When he heard how distraught she was he did bolt upright, wanting to fly out the window and find her, but then her words registered. 

“Carapace said… Carapace said you weren’t okay.” 

“Damn it, Nino,” he growled into the phone, calling off his transformation. He needed more context before going to his partner. 

He called his supposed best friend, who luckily picked up on the second ring. 

“Hey dude. What’s up?” 

“I don’t suppose you can explain why my partner called me two hours ago crying?” 

“She was crying?” Nino echoed. 

“What did you say to her?” 

“Nothing!” 

“Nino!” Adrien growled into the phone. 

“Okay! Okay! I just said that you were hurting. And that she should talk to you.” 

“That’s it?”

“That’s it! I swear!” 

“But why would you even tell her that much?” 

He was greeted with silence. 

“Nino?” 

“Because you need to talk to her, dude.” 

Adrien fell back onto his bed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“I can’t lose her, Nino,” he said, and now his eyes were burning with threatened tears.

“You won’t!” 

Adrien wanted to be that sure. He did. But he was so scared. “Things between us have been really strained and weird lately. What if… what if I tell her everything, and she wants nothing to do with me anymore?” 

“Dude! Need I remind you that two weeks ago you were also scared to talk to me for pretty much exactly the same reason?” 

Adrien didn’t say anything. 

“And look how that turned out!” 

“With you meddling in my other relationships?!” Adrien bit out. 

“Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have asked you first. I just… you said she was crying?” 

Adrien’s anger fled. “Yeah.” 

“Doesn’t that tell you something? That she was that affected by just hearing that you were hurting? She cares about you, dude. Like so much. I wish you would trust that.” 

Adrien swallowed. “Okay. I-I’m gonna go.” 

“Dude?” 

“Yeah?” 

“It’s going to be okay.” 

“I hope so,” Adrien said. 

“If it isn’t, come visit me tonight,” Nino invited. “You know, if you want to. If you’re not even more pissed at me at that point.” 

Adrien couldn’t help the small sideways smile on his lips. “Thanks, Nino. I’ll… umm… I’ll let you know how it goes.” 

“Good luck, mec.” 

“Thanks.” 

… 

Ladybug’s chin rested on her knees that were raised to her chest with her ankles crossed. She just stared blankly into the sky, the buildings and the trees, not really seeing any of it. At least she wasn’t crying anymore. 

She started when the loud thump beside her signaled the arrival of Chat Noir. Relief and anxiety simultaneously flooded her body. 

“Hey,” she greeted. As he took a seat beside her. “You got my message?” 

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. Sorry it took me so long to get away.”

“It’s okay. I understand,” she whispered. “So… is what he said true?”

“What did he say?” Chat asked, his hands gripping the side of the building. 

“Just… that you were hurting and that I should talk to you.”

He smiled brightly at her. “It’s really not that big a deal. I know you have a ton on your plate.” 

“He also said you would try to brush it aside like it was nothing.” 

“God damn it, Nino,” he hissed. 

And she laughed, reaching for his hand. “Please don’t be mad at him. He clearly cares about you a lot. I didn’t know you and he were that close.” 

“We… uh… we weren’t? Sort’ve. And then after Rocketear… well, it’s complicated. I can’t really explain.” 

She barked a laugh. That was almost word for word what Nino had said. “Yeah, I get that.”

They fell into silence, and she considered him carefully. He wasn’t looking at her. 

“So… you’re not okay.” 

He sighed, and he looked so defeated. And her heart broke. She had missed it. She probably hadn’t wanted to know. “No,” he admitted. 

“Can you tell me about any of it?” she asked, biting her lip. She honestly hadn’t meant to back him into a corner. 

He laughed, but it was dark, and it felt so alien coming from her partner’s lips. But as she had already established that day, there was clearly a lot she didn’t know about him. “I don’t know where to begin or what I’m even allowed to say.” 

She tensed, knowing he was hinting once again that he wanted to tell her who he was. And god, she had never felt more tempted than she did in that moment. But there was Chat Blanc, and whatever that had happened when she had tried to use Viperion to give Su Han his identity. 

“Tell me what you can,” she said, knowing he would understand what she meant.

He didn’t speak for a long time. He just sat beside her staring into the skyline blankly. She grew more nervous with every minute of silence. 

“Chaton?” she finally prompted, unable to take it anymore. 

“I’m scared if I tell you, you’ll hate me.” 

The world seemed to spin around her at his words spoken so softly she could barely hear them. She clutched onto his hand. She couldn’t tell if it was to anchor herself or to reassure him. 

“I could never hate you.” 

He glanced even further away.

“Please talk to me,” she begged, tears running down her cheek again. 

He nodded. But he still didn’t speak. 

“I… I guess I’ve been depressed lately.”

“Okay.”

“Like I just don’t see the point in anything. I can’t make my father happy. My relationships in my civilian life are crumbling one after another. And you…”

She froze as stiff as their statues. 

“You don’t need me anymore.” 

She would have laughed if he clearly wasn’t completely serious. 

“Of course I need you,” she countered automatically. 

He shook his head. “You don’t,” he stated firmly, almost sounding angry. 

“Are you mad at me?” she asked softly. 

“No!” he shouted, finally turning to look at her. But then he wilted. “Maybe. I don’t want to be.” 

“What did I do wrong?” 

“Nothing,” he said, all the fight having drained out of him once again. He was so despondent, so unlike the carefree jokester kitty that she had come to rely on that he felt alien. She felt like a boat abandoned without an oar. 

She wondered how well she really knew him. 

“I… just wish things hadn’t changed,” he admitted. 

She nodded. “Yeah, I wish that, too.”

He threw a startled glance at her. “Really?”

“I never wanted to be the Guardian. I love the Kwamis, but I kinda hate everything else about it. It’s… stressful.” She finished lamely. Her words felt so inadequate, but his green eyes watched her patiently. She couldn’t take the genuine concern in his eyes. They were supposed to be talking about him.  

“I get what you said about all your relationships crumbling,” she continued. “That was happening to me, too. I couldn’t be honest with anyone. I had a boyfriend who wanted to know why I left him hanging all the time. My friends could tell that I was struggling with something and they kept getting more and more pushy trying to get me to open up. And I love them for that but they also almost stumbled onto the miracle box and I had to scream at them to back off and they were… so hurt and I couldn’t do anything to fix it.” The words were tumbling from her mouth now like a waterfall after spring melt. She couldn’t have stopped them if she tried. “My room felt like a bunker and a prison, and I had to lie to everyone - to my parents and to my friends all the time. And they all knew that I was doing that. But I couldn’t explain why.”

His fingers thread through hers, and he squeezed reassuringly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly. “You know I would have understood.”

His eyes were so bright, so green and clear. She had to look away. 

“I know you would have,” she mumbled. “I thought about it.”

“So why didn’t you?” 

“Because I was terrified.” 

“Terrified of what?” he prodded. She could feel his urgency suddenly, his desperation. And so she didn’t lie.

“I was terrified of falling in love with you.” 

He recoiled as if burned.

“I see,” he said, his voice controlled, cold and brittle. “How awful,” he intoned without emotion and he was pulling away. God, he was suddenly miles and miles away. 

She should have lied. 

“Chaton, you don’t understand,” she insisted, grabbing his wrist, trying to pull him back to her both physically and metaphorically, but he didn’t come any closer. 

He laughed bitterly. “You’re right. I definitely do not understand, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. No one else in my life can stand me. Of course, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me either.” 

“That’s not true!” 

“What did I do wrong?” he asked, his voice trembling. 

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong.” She hadn’t let go of his wrist even though he remained limp in her hold. 

Tears slipped over his mask and she pulled him to her harder. But he pulled away, completely, even breaking her hold, and rising to his feet. 

“Then why don’t you trust me?!” he demanded, his voice raw and his eyes searching. 

“I do trust you.” 

He shook his head. “No. You trust Rena Rouge and whoever Scarabella is! You don’t trust me. You don’t tell me anything! You don’t confide in me. And you don’t have to, but you also don’t tell me things that I should know. You haven’t told me the identities of the temp heroes even though Shadowmoth knows who they are. You don’t tell me when you’re gone or going to put in a sub. You very specifically and intentionally are keeping me in the dark to the point where I can’t be Chat Noir effectively.” 

She took the verbal beating without flinching. She couldn’t defend herself. He was right. 

“And sure, you trust me to follow your directions, to sacrifice myself. You call me a partner, but I feel like a tool.” 

Every word hit her like a punch in the gut. 

“Trust isn’t something you say, Ladybug,” he bit out. And for once she hated that he used her full name instead of some cute nickname. “It’s something that you show with your actions.” 

He turned away completely then, moving too fast across the roof in angry strides.

He was going to leave, and she was never going to see him again. It felt like there was an entire car on her chest, she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t speak.

But he was already halfway across the roof, his baton ready in one hand. Another second and he would vault away. 

“Please don’t leave me,” she sobbed, as broken as she had been the day she had told Alya everything. She would have told him, too, she realized. She would have given anything for him to stay. 

He froze, she didn’t turn around. He was listening. She searched desperately for words, praying they would be the right ones.

God, she was so bad at words. Why were they so hard?

“I do trust you!” she insisted. “It’s not that I couldn’t love you,” she admitted. “It’s not even that I don’t want to.” 

She stared at his unmoving back. His shoulders hunched and his body tense, ready to bolt away from her. She looked down into her hands. 

“It’s that the world was destroyed.”

She had never said those words to anyone. Not to Alya, not even to Tikki who had at least some idea of what had happened in that alternate timeline. It was insane how much lighter she suddenly felt.

She should have trusted him with this ages ago. 

She circled around him cautiously, slowly like one would approach an injured animal. 

“What do you mean?” he finally croaked. 

She wet her lips. “There was… uh… an alternate timeline. One where you knew who I was, one where… where we were in love, and the world… ended.” His shoulders were visibly trembling now, and she wasn’t sure what to do. She wanted to hold him, but she wasn’t certain if she would be welcomed. 

“And that future… it was…” Chat Blanc standing over the flooded ruins of Paris flashed through her mind’s eye, “terrible,” she said. “Terrible for you, specifically. And I just… I can’t let that happen.”

She bit her lip, and risked a glance up. His green eyes were wide and glassy. “And then, just last week, I think there was another one where I knew who you were, or… at least somebody did, and Sass broke time to reset everything. I don’t… know what happened there. I just figure it had to have been bad because what else would warrant that?” And she was rambling now, but she couldn’t stop.

“How do you know why Sass reset?” he asked. He sounded so small and she hated it. He was supposed to be loud and flashy. 

“I don’t,” she admitted. “Not completely, but my plan that night was to ask you who you were.” 

“Why?” 

And god, she wanted to lie to him. He was going to hate her forever, and she’d have no one to blame except herself.

“Su-Han was threatening to take your miraculous unless he knew your identity.” 

“And you would just give it to him? Were you going to tell me?” He didn’t yell or raise his voice at all. And somehow that was worse. 

“I didn’t want to lose you! I can’t do this without you!” She took a step forward, but he flinched away.

“Someone knows my identity, now.”

And just like that her words dried up again, and she braced herself for the panic, but surprisingly it didn’t come. If his identity being compromised was world endingly awful, it would have already exploded in their faces. 

She reached out for his free hand. He let her take it, he even squeezed back and relief washed over her like a warm shower. 

But he didn’t look at her. 

“Is it someone you wanted to tell?” she asked. 

“You are the only person I have ever wanted to tell,” he said, and god damn it her heart definitely flipped in her chest at that admission. “But… I’m glad this person figured me out. I think… it was a good thing.”

She pulled him towards her, and he came willingly even though his eyes remained downcast. 

“Then I’m happy for you,” and she was , even if she was also jealous. She wished she could know him that way. It wasn’t fair that she was the only one who couldn’t. But she also knew how much easier just one person knowing made this whole thing. She couldn’t begrudge him that. She wouldn’t. 

He looked up then, and his expression broke her heart. “You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” 

“I thought that I had to give up my miraculous if someone knew.” 

She shrugged. There was no way in hell she was going to pick a new Chat Noir. “That was Master Fu’s rule. But I’d be a hypocrite if I took yours for that reason. Plus, I don’t want another partner. You’re the only one who is you.” 

His eyes were wide like her words wouldn’t process. 

“Is that so hard to believe?” she asked, trying not to feel hurt that he didn’t trust her at least that much. 

He didn’t respond, and her throat twisted painfully. She tried to swallow the lump, but she couldn’t. 

“I’m sorry,” she choked out.

His brows under his mask furrowed. “For?”

“For-“ For so many things! For making decisions about him without his input, for not sharing intelligence, for not leaning on or trusting him with her struggles. But none of that was important! “For not making sure you knew how much you matter to me!” 

She lost the battle against her tears in that moment. Chat’s arms were around her a second later, and she would’ve cried at the warmth and security in his embrace if she wasn’t already crying. 

“Thank you for caring about me. You matter to me, too,” he whispered before pulling back enough to look at her. “That’s why all this has hurt so much. I was never actually mad at you.” 

“You weren’t?” 

He shook his head. “I always wanted you to trust me, but I often feel that you’re right not to.” 

“What?”

“I can’t do anything right,” he continued. “And it didn’t feel like it mattered because you clearly don’t need me anyway.” 

She stared at him in shock, horror growing in her gut with every word that left his mouth.

“That’s not true,” she said. He was amazing! He was amazing at fighting akumas and comforting victims after the fact. He knew how to handle the press when her tongue froze in her mouth. And she needed him so much it hurt. She didn’t know how to breathe without him. 

He looked away. “I’ve… been having trouble getting to akumas lately. You always win even when I’m not there.” 

Her grip tightened around him. “Are you kidding me?” she yelled. 

She felt him tense under her hold. God, she had always thought he had an inflated ego, but it was the opposite, wasn’t it? 

She forced herself to take a breath. “Chaton, when you can’t make it, I have to find like ten other heroes to step in! Do you know how crazy that is?! That you are worth ten other heroes during a battle?! And leading them is so hard! Like they never understand what my plan is. I have to explain it with so many words, and you know better than most that I’m terrible at words!” 

And he laughed, though he was obviously also crying. He finally laughed and some of the tension in her released. 

“But more than that,” she said, “none of them have been here since the beginning. None of them understand what it feels like to have the weight of the city on their shoulders. Even if I can get through a single battle without you, I still need you. You are my partner, and I hate that being the Guardian means I can’t tell you everything. I need you to know that when it all feels like too much, that it’s going to crush me the only thought that helps is reminding myself that you believe in me.”

She looked up at his face. “I don’t think I can face any of this without you. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to just give up or even surrender. But whenever I am at that point, you are there! You are my hero. I cannot face any of this without you. I think I would have lost a long time ago if you weren’t here.” 

“And for the record,” she continued. “Even if you were useless and easy to replace, it wouldn’t matter! Because I care about you so much! I want you in my life!” 

His arms tightened around her and he buried his head onto her shoulder. She returned his embrace, feeling secure for the first time since Nino told her he was hurting. 

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, you know,” she said. “Maybe not the same way,” though she was starting to have doubts about that, “but you’re one of the most important people in my life. I’m sorry if I ever gave you cause to doubt that.” 

“It’s okay now. I will try to be better about telling you when I’m not okay,” he promised.

She nodded into his shoulder. “Yes, thank you. I always want to know. I want to be there for you, Chaton. Always.” 

“I want to be there for you, too,” he told her. “If you’ll let me.” 

Her heart squeezed at that. She hadn’t been letting him. 

“I will try,” she promised. 

He pulled away, and she was relieved to see his smile. Though it was different than normal. It wasn’t loud or boisterous. It was soft and sincere. 

Like Adrien’s. 

Oh no. 

“I have likely been away too long. But… thank you.” 

She nodded. And he turned away again. “Wait!” 

He turned to her, one eyebrow arched. “Yes?” 

“Can we… uh… I don’t know meet up sometime?”

“We have patrol tomorrow.” 

She shook her head. “No, not for a patrol. Just to… I don’t know… hang out?”

His grin grew tenfold. “I would like that.”

“Great! Me too! I’ll send you some dates.” And she ignored the heat blooming in her cheeks at the word dates. It didn’t have to be an actual date. It didn’t have to have a label on it at all. She watched him vault away, her heart freer than it had been in a long time. 

… 

Nino lay in his bed trying to distract himself with music, but it wasn’t quite as effective as it usually was. It had been over an hour since Adrien had called him. He hoped that Chat Noir and Ladybug were able to work everything out. He thought that they would. But there was that needling doubt. 

Had Nino been wrong to say anything to Ladybug? Had he breached Adrien’s trust irreparably? 

Adrien had to know that Nino was only trying to help. Only wanted what was best for him, right? 

A tap on his window on his window startled Nino from his thoughts. His heart sank into his gut. Had it gone that bad? 

He reached past the curtain without pushing it aside to unlock the window. 

A second later the window screeched open. 

“Dude! Did it go that badly?” 

“Did what go badly?” 

Nino swirled around, realizing immediately that it was Ladybug at his window and not Chat Noir. Fuck! He needed to get better at this whole tight lipped thing if he was going to keep Adrien’s secret. 

“L-ladybug!” he stuttered. “Is there another akuma?“ he knew that there wasn’t. She was too calm. She wasn’t shoving the miraculous into his fist and rapidly explaining a plan as they jumped out the window.

This was about Chat. 

He writhed his hands and turned away. God, he was so bad at this. Adrien was better off with anyone else knowing his secret. 

Though Nino wouldn’t have volunteered the position to anyone else. 

“No akuma,” she said, smiling brightly. “I just wanted to thank you.” 

“Thank me?” he repeated. 

“For encouraging me to talk to Chat.” 

Relief flooded his form, and he smiled. Their talk must have gone well. 

“I… I don’t know if I would have ever realized… that I had hurt him. I get tunnel vision sometimes, and I don’t always consider other people, but I never wanted to hurt him.” 

“I know that,” Nino said, feeling calmer. “I take it, he does now, too?” 

Her gaze turned distant, but there was a smile blooming on her face. 

Nino grinned. Had she finally caught feelings for his bro? He hoped so. Adrien deserved it. 

“I think so, and if not, I’ll keep reminding him. Like I said, thank you.” 

“No big deal,” he said waving his hand dismissively.

“He’s lucky to have you as a friend,” she said. 

“Not as lucky as I am to have him.” 

She nodded. “Yes! That’s exactly how I feel, too!” Then she didn’t say anything else, and Nino was back to fidgeting on the spot. 

“Yes, well, have a good night, Nino.” 

“You too, Ladydude!” 

The second she left, he threw himself towards his phone. 

Nino:

So?! Don’t leave me hanging, mec!! How did it go?! 

Adrien texted back immediately. 

Adrien:

I’m so happy right now! You have no idea! 

Nino smiled. 

Adrien:

But I’m still pissed at you! It was super dicey for a second. I thought it was over. 

No wait. I’m not mad. It was worth it. I think she asked me out!!! 

Nino:

You think?!! 

Adrien:

She didn’t say it was a date. Just that she wanted to hang out, but she was blushing and she was hesitant to ask, like she was nervous. 

And let me tell you, she doesn’t get nervous!! 

Nino grinned, feeling Adrien’s joy radiating from his phone’s screen. 

Ladybug and Chat Noir were okay again, and that meant Adrien was too.

Nino:

That’s awesome, mec. So excited for you!

Adrien:

Yeah. 

Thanks, man! 

I feel like I owe this all to you. 

Nino:

Anytime. 

Adrien:

But I’m still pissed!

Nino laughed. 

Nino:

If you’re drowning I reserve the right to come save your ass! 

Adrien took a long time to respond. The three bouncing dots came and went for so long Nino was half expecting an essay, but only a single line popped up when the text finally came through. 

Adrien: 

I’m not used to people caring. Thank you.

Nino:

Get used to it! Because we all love you! 

Adrien:

Love you, too. 

…

Chapter Text

Ladybug landed neatly, and took a seat beside him with both their legs dangling over the highest horizontal beam of the Eiffel Tower. 

“Hey. I came as soon as I got your message. What’s up?”

“I need to tell you who I am,” he began without preamble.

She frowned. “Chaton, we’ve talked a-“

He shook his head. “No. You don’t understand. I need to tell you who I am. I can’t…” he broke off, pressing closed fists against his mask in a futile attempt to stave off the burning behind his eyes.

“Chaton?” The concern oozed from her voice. “Are you okay? 

The dam of his emotions broke and the tears flooded forward. Her arms were around him in a second, and he leaned into her warmth, wanting to trust her support. 

But every muscle in his body was locked stiff with tension he didn’t know how to release.

“What happened?” Her voice was soft, barely a whisper above the afternoon breeze. 

“I… I can’t explain,” he told her brokenly. “It’ll make sense if you know who I am. Please, let me tell you.” 

She remained silent.

He pulled away, trying to clamp down on his tears. She had never let him reveal himself before. Why would now be any different? 

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said. He glanced up at her - her eyes were wide. “I need you,” he confessed.

“I’m right here,” she assured, reaching to take his hand. 

He yanked his hand back as if burned. “You’re not!” he snarled. 

Her face froze, crumpling with hurt.

He wilted. “I’m sorry,” he cried. And he meant it. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t bury his own hurt anymore either. “It’s not your fault. I know you want to be here for me, but you can’t be. Not without knowing who I am.”

She bit her lip, staring at him.

And as the silence stretched out, so did Adrien’s hopes. She wouldn’t cave. Identities were so important to her, he reminded himself. 

She told someone else when she needed it. 

He squeezed his eyes closed as if that could ever be enough to exile the nasty thought from his consciousness. 

“You don’t have to reciprocate,” he told her rapidly for what had to be the thirtieth time. “I just… I’m so alone. And I can’t explain it to anyone. Not even you…” 

He fought off another onslaught of tears.

“And you can’t tell someone else?” she asked. 

He laughed brokenly over the rock in his throat. He probably could. Marinette came to mind immediately, but he didn’t think Ladybug would actually want him to go to anyone else under these circumstances. It was too close to the miraculous, too close to the secrets she was always trying to protect over everything else. 

Even her partner. 

Of course, she couldn’t know that without already knowing who he was. 

“I want you to be supported, minou. You know I do!”

That was not something that he knew. 

“It’s just dangerous for you to tell me, specifically,” she said. But he had heard this all before. 

“It’s more dangerous to tell someone else,” he countered. 

“You don’t know that!” she said sharply. 

“I do, actually!” But he didn’t know why he bothered. They had had this conversation so many times. He was never going to convince her. 

He moved to stand.

Her hand on his shoulder immediately stopped him. “Where are you going?”

“There’s clearly no point in continuing this conversation. You’re never going to change your mind.” 

“Kitty,” she crooned. “I’m sorry! I… I can’t.”

It shouldn’t have hurt. But it did. It cut so deeply. 

“I needed you today. I needed you more than I needed anyone. And you weren’t there!” 

She looked at him helplessly, her eyes welling with tears. He looked away. 

“Please, let go,” he said, proud of how even the words came out. If she was going to choose her secrets over him once again, he needed to get far, far away. 

But her grip on his shoulder only tightened. “Please, don’t go,” she begged.

The words, I need you, went unsaid. But he heard them anyway, and damn everything to hell, he still longed to reach for her, take her in his arms and promise that it would be okay as long as they stood together. 

But he couldn’t do it. 

Because they weren’t standing together. 

“You can’t have it both ways,” he told her sadly. “You can’t say you need me, and expect me to be there when I can’t lean on you in return.” 

She sucked in a breath. Her blue eyes watched him, wide with an emotion he could not name. He met her gaze unerringly hoping, begging, praying for her to understand. 

He wasn’t sure how long they remained staring at one another. But she finally nodded. 

And it was like he could breathe again for the first time since Monarch had been revealed. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” she said. Everything about her was small and contrite. 

He bit his tongue before he could tell her it was okay. It wasn’t.

She held out her hand as he had done so many times for her in low moments, and he grabbed hold of her like she was a lifeline. Before he could get any words out, he crumpled in her arms, finally letting the wracking sobs take over completely.

She rocked him back and forth as he cried himself out. 

When he was finally able to pull himself together, he pulled away slightly. She watched him carefully, clearly alarmed and caught completely off guard. 

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I had no idea you were hurting this bad.” 

“I know,” he said, his voice cracking. “You couldn’t know. But I can tell you, now?” Part of him felt it was foolish to ask again. She might change her mind. But he wanted - no, he needed her to choose him.

She squeezed his hand. “Yes.”

He let his transformation fall away in a crackling flash of green light. He didn’t bother to say anything. He already knew no words were necessary. 

Her face went white, her eyes beyond wide. “ Adrien? ” 

And that was all it took for his defenses to come down all over again. But this time, this time she came undone right beside him. Tears poured down her face as she squeezed him so tight. 

“Oh my god! I’m… I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t know.”

He didn’t say anything. Just squeezed her back just as hard. Words didn’t matter. 

She was there. She understood and she cared. 

“ I didn’t know what I was asking of you. I’m sorry,” she said again. 

“It’s okay,” he murmured. And in her hold, with her knowing, it was. 

“How is any of this okay?! We were fighting your father the whole time?! He-he’s hurt you so many times!” 

He didn’t need to say anything. He just buried his face into the crook of her shoulder and clung to her harder. 

“He’s hurt you as Adrien! How could he do that?”

“Thank you,” he murmured into her hair. 

“For what?! Like you said, I… I wasn’t there.” And she broke off into devastated sobs. “I didn’t know what I was asking of you. It was too much.”

He swallowed, wiping tears from her cheek. “You’re here now,” he assured her. “I knew… I knew that you would be as soon as you knew.”

She hugged him again. 

“You are so forgiving. That man does not deserve you. I- I don’t deserve you either.”

“You didn’t know,” he told her softly. 

“I also didn’t listen. And I’m sorry.”

He smiled through his tears. “You’re already forgiven.” 

She scowled unhappily, but thread her fingers through his. He stared at their joined hands. His bare fingers interlaced with her red ones was a strange sight, but he loved it. 

“What happened today?” she asked softly. 

He let his head fall to her shoulder. “My aunt hired a lawyer because I’m under investigation.” 

“For what?!”

“For aiding my father.”

“What?! Even before knowing you were Chat Noir, that’s ridiculous!” 

He turned to her in surprise. She blushed under his gaze, her attention quickly turned to fiddling with their joined hands.

“Why would they suspect you?” she asked quickly as if she needed to change the subject. 

“I don’t have an alibi. Not for a single akuma.”

That wasn’t completely true. There were several akumas where Adrien Agreste had been present. Style Queen was the most notable, but the officer questioning him seemed to think he had likely been complicit in that attack to draw attention away from his father.

The reality was worse. 

His father had done that to him. 

Knowingly. 

The other times his father had literally killed him, Adrien could at least remember Monarch hadn’t known he was hurting his own son. 

Her face paled. “You don’t have an alibi.” 

And then he smiled. “And my aunt was worried you would defame me.” 

“That was never going to be a problem.” And again she was so confident. 

His eyebrows furrowed. “Do we uh… know each other?” 

Pink flooded her cheeks once again. “Yes.” 

“Yes?” he repeated, his brain refusing to process the unexpected answer. 

“Yeah! We’re… uh… friends!” 

His thoughts moved faster than he could hold onto them. He didn’t have that many friends.

She squeezed his hand. “And like I’ve told you before, you can tell me anything. And, I will always be here for you, Adrien.” 

And suddenly, he was as high as he had been low. He thought he had ruled out the possibility ages ago, but there was only one person that had said that to him. 

“Marinette.” The name left his lips in a whisper. 

She nodded once. 

“Oh my god. Marinette!” And he was crying even as he was laughing. This time he was the one to pull her into a hug. 

“And now you know that I care about all parts of you so completely,” she said. “More even than you know. And I’m not going anywhere. I will be here as Marinette and as Ladybug, however you need me. We will figure out everything. You are not alone. You never were.” 

And he was crying into her shoulder again. He knew that they would. 

Because Marinette could do anything.

Chapter Text

Chat Noir swings wildly at the akuma who is his father. Adrien is almost glad Ladybug has yet to show up. He doesn’t have a plan, he almost doesn’t want to fix this one. It just feels good to lash out, to hurt this man and send him crashing to the ground, for every blow to make solid contact against his father who seems bent on stealing every good thing from his life. 

As Chat Noir, he doesn’t have to listen to his father. He can resist, he can fight. He can cataclysm anything that stands in his way as many times as he needs to! 

He can do all the things he can’t do as Adrien. 

Why can’t he fight as Adrien?!

“I feel sorry for your son!” 

“Don’t be. He’s very happy,” Nightormentor replies.  

Adrien is thrown by the statement. Was his father referring to the fact that he’s in love with Marinette, or does he actually think Adrien is happy locked away in some tower with an arranged relationship not of his own choosing a five hundred kilometers away from the most important people in his life? 

The akuma breaks past his defenses, knocking the wind from his chest. He coughs as he inhales the sparkling dust of his father’s power. The magic settles around him, clinging to his eyes and throat. Reality dissolves around him.

Everything is silent like his ears are clogged with cotton. He turns frantically in every direction. Everything is destroyed. The moon split in half, every building a crumbled skeleton of what it once was. Human-sized statues made of ash surround him as far as his eyes can see. 

He looks down, and Marinette is there in his arms, as black as his cataclysmic power. He jerks backwards and her form dissolves into ash and dust in his arms. 

“What happened?!” he demands, trying to push back his rising panic. Where’s the akuma? There had to be an akuma somewhere to have caused all of this. 

“The same thing that always happens when a child can’t control their anger.” It’s the same voice. The deep foreboding voice that Adrien can never block out, can never escape.  

Adrien did this?

“No! It’s not real!” he screams, clutching his head.

Next thing he knows, Kim’s hovering over him. “You okay there, buddy? Because we could really use your help right now.” 

But Adrien isn’t sure how much help he can be. He’s never stood up to his father and won.

He doesn’t include this time as an exception even when Nightormentor’s staff dissolves under his cataclysm because it was The Resistance that defeated this akuma. 

Not Chat Noir. 

He flies to Marinette’s balcony as soon as it’s safe to do so, letting his transformation fall almost the moment he lands. He’s not sure what he wants to say to her, but he needs to see her. Just once if not every day.

He’s about to knock on her skylight when the nightmare strikes a second time. 

He clutches his head and falls onto his knees as the vision sweeps through him again.

“No,” he sobs. “It’s just a nightmare. It’s not real! I would never do this!” he insists.

Plagg’s purring at the crook of his neck brings him back to himself once again. 

“Plagg! I don’t know what to do. I miss Marinette so much even though it hasn’t even been a day. But I can’t disobey him. And I’m also scared I’m putting her in danger. I could—“ he clutches his hand into a fist, imagining the power of cataclysm crackling at his fingertips. “—destroy everything.” 

“Kid, you've just come into your own as the holder of destruction!” Plagg says. “I know you will find a way to break free of your chains. All of them.” 

Adrien shakes his head. How can he do that when he can’t even say the word, “no” to his father, let alone actually defy his orders? 

It all feels so impossible. 

The trapdoor window to Marinette’s room opens. 

He tenses, still uncertain what he wants to say. He shouldn’t have come here. As much as he wants to see her — needs to see her, he can’t protect her, he can’t explain how he’s there without putting her in danger. 

She startles when she sees him, then approaches him slowly. 

“Adrien?”

She’s wearing a flowing white dress with intricate pink flowered embroidery that he’s certain she hand-stitched herself. Her eyes are puffy, red, and underlined with dark streaks of mascara running down her cheeks. 

It kills him that she’s been crying. He knows it’s his fault because he couldn’t say no to his father. It’s just another example of his weakness, of his selfishness that he wants her love anyway even though she deserves someone who can stand up for her.

In spite of himself, he reaches out. She takes his hand, and he pulls her against him, feeling shaky. He buries his head into her shoulder.

“Is it really you?” she asks. 

“Who else would I be?” he asks absently. 

“Felix.” 

He tenses and pulls away, gripping her at the elbows tightly, searching her face for jest and finding none. “What did he do?”

She waves away his concern. “He led me on a wild goose chase through the city. But in the end he only told me a story.”

“A story?” he repeats, confused. “What story? Why?” 

Marinette put a hand on his chest. “Adrien, take a breath.” 

He does as she says, feeling some of the tension within him bleed out. It always does when he’s in her arms. An experience he’s had on precious few occasions. If only he realized his feelings for her sooner. 

“I’m really happy to see you,” he whispers.

“Me too,” she says back, leaning her head onto his chest. “I feel like I’ve been looking for you all night. How are you here?” 

He tenses all over again, unsure of how to answer that question. He knows what he wants to tell her. The truth, and all of it! But the vision of Marinette’s ashen form cradled in his arms flies through his head and he’s terrified.

It’s just a dream, a nightmare sent to him by an akuma. It isn’t real. It isn’t going to happen. He’s careful. He will never hurt her. 

He will never hurt her.

“Are you okay?” she asks when he doesn’t answer her question. 

He shakes his head, tears falling down his face of their own volition. 

She squeezes his hand. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together,” she promises.

And some part of him melts. She really believes that, but he can’t see any way to win. 

Even Chat Noir couldn’t stand up to Nightormentor. Not on his own.  

“My father wants me to stay in London. He wants to control every aspect of my life. And I tried for so long to earn his admiration and approval, but it’s impossible. And what has it ever gotten me? It’s never enough and I can’t do it anymore. I can’t.” 

Her grip tightens around his hand. “Shhh, it’s okay.” 

“But I can’t get away. It’s like, the second he’s in the room, I can’t… I can’t disobey him, Marinette. I don’t know why. I try, I think I’m going to, and then I just do what he wants anyway. I’m sorry that I’m so weak.” 

Tears break past his battered defenses and he drops his head into his knees. He’s shaking so hard, but Marinette never lets go. If anything, she clings to him harder. 

“Adrien, does he… does he have a ring that he always wears?”

He glances up, completely thrown by the random question. “Uh, yes. He has his and my mother’s wedding ring. Nathalie has been wearing the other. Why?” 

“The story. The story Felix told me! He said that the two princesses gave birth to two boys who were as similar as their mothers. You and Felix. Felix – he was controlled by his father all his life through a ring, and he was only able to break free once his father died and he had the ring for himself. It sounds like it’s the same for you.”

Adrien blinks several times, his brain trying to understand what she’s saying. 

Then the tears come back full strength, and he’s trembling like an earthquake. 

“Adrien?”

But he’s crying in relief. He isn’t weak and spineless. He’s literally being controlled like a puppet on strings. 

And then he’s angry. 

He looks up into Marinette’s concerned crystal blue eyes that seem to pierce straight through him. “I don’t understand. How?” 

Her hands tighten around his and his cling to the lifeline that she’s providing. He fears that he’s weighing her down, that he can never give her everything she deserves, especially if he literally can’t go against his father.

“Felix said his mother and yours were infertile. They tried and tried to have babies, and they never could.” 

Adrien stares at her. This was new information. Why had Felix told Marinette all of this? And not him? 

“So your parents found and used the peacock miraculous–” 

He hisses in a breath.

“--and their desire to have a child to create a pregnancy.” 

“So I’m… I’m… some kind of sentimonster?” 

She shakes her head violently. Her hands on either side of his face. “No, you are not a monster. You are the kindest, most beautiful person I have ever met.” 

He presses her hands and wrists against his face, needing to feel her holding him as his stomach dropped. 

“But he can literally control me?” 

She nods. “I think so. Felix asked me for help. He has his ring, and Kagami has hers.” 

“Kagami too?” he whispers.

She nods again. 

Kagami - forceful, ever confident, and never-hesitate-Kagami who he looks up to - can be controlled with a ring.

He can be controlled with a ring, snapped out of existence with the peacock miraculous. 

No wonder Felix had been willing to trade all the other miraculouses for it. 

He can’t breathe. 

The vision of a shattered moon on a red sky, surrounded by destruction and decay flashes through his mind’s eye again. A new dark heavy presence stands behind him, controlling every movement, directing his miraculous powers against everything Chat Noir is supposed to protect, against everything that he loves.

The nightmare suddenly feels all too possible. 

If his father ever learns his identity, he can make Adrien destroy anything his father disapproves of. 

Like Marinette. 

He scuttles backward from her, his back crashing against the railing of her balcony. 

“Adrien! What’s wrong?” Marinette asks, standing over him like an avenging angel. She reaches out to hold him, but he holds a hand out and shakes his head. She stops, but tears are falling silently down her cheeks. Her dress is fluttering around her, and strands of her hair have fallen from her updo, framing her face. Her eyes are like shining lights in his darkness. 

God, she’s so amazing, so strong. 

And he can’t ever be what she deserves. Not when he isn’t his own person.

He buries his eyes under his fists. The rest of him crumples like tissue paper. She wraps around him like a warm blanket on the coldest of nights, and he lets himself fall into warmth and love. This might have to be the last time, so it will have to last him forever.

“I love you,” he says through his devastation. “So much.”

“I love you, too. Talk to me, please.” 

He untangles himself from her embrace and struggles to collect himself. It shouldn’t be that hard. He’s done it so many times before. 

“Marinette,” he starts, slipping his miraculous from his finger with a broken sob. It feels like he’s tearing off a limb, but he would do anything for her. He opens her palm, places the ring in her grasp, and closes her fingers around it.  “You have to take this from me, keep it safe so I can’t ever hurt anyone, so I can never hurt you.”

She looks down into her hand, her eyes frozen on the now-black ring in her hand. Her gaze darts up to his face, and then back down to the ring.

“You’re Chat Noir,” she breathes. 

“I’m Chat Noir,” he confirms. “I was going to use it to come visit you, so we could stay together even if I was exiled to London. I figured I had to come back for akumas anyway, but… but if my father can literally control me, I can’t keep it. He could discover it, take it, and force me to betray Ladybug and everyone I love. I can’t go through that! Will you please keep it safe for me?

“No!” she cries, trying to shove the ring back towards him. “You can’t give this up!” she insists. “You can’t!”

He caresses the side of her tear-streaked face, and smiles softly. “I need you to take this for me, Marinette. There’s no one I love or trust more than you.”

Her fist pounds on his chest. He grabs her arm and pulls her against him. 

“Please?”

She shakes her head. “No, you don’t understand. I need you.” 

“I’m sorry. I wish there was a way for us to be together, but if he ever found out–”

“He won’t!” 

“Marinette, he could literally just order me to reveal all my secrets and it’d be done. He could order me to give him my miraculous. He can’t have it. Not ever.”

Her eyes well with tears. He kisses the top of her head. 

“What about Ladybug?!” she demands. 

“I think I’m only a liability to her right now. I’m a sentimonster. You’ll–” 

“You’re not a monster!” Her voice is shrill. 

He smiles again, feeling strangely at peace. “You’ll be an amazing partner to Ladybug in my stead.” 

“No! I can’t take this from you. It’s yours! It’s your freedom! And I can’t be Ladybug’s partner anyway.”

“Of course you can!” he reassures. “I remember Multimouse. You had every miraculous in the box. You were amazing! You could use any of them.”

She shakes her head, tears pouring from her eyes.  

“Marinette,” he begs. “Please!” 

“I can’t be Ladybug’s partner,” she says again, her voice suddenly clear and firm. She looks up at him, and he can’t breathe at the depth in her swirling blue eyes. “She needs you. I need you.” 

His mind is swirling, on the precipice of something grand, he knows it, but he can’t grasp onto it. 

“Tikki, spots on,” she whispers. And in a sparkling wave of pink light, Marinette is gone, and it’s his partner sitting before him with tears in her eyes. “Please Chaton,” she begs. “I have told you over and over, I can’t do this without you. You are irreplaceable. You are perfect. I will never ever abandon you. Please, please don’t abandon me.” 

He can’t move, he can’t speak. 

She takes up his hand, and holds up the ring, but she pauses, her eyes on his, waiting for his permission. 

“I don’t want to be turned against you,” he says weakly. 

“Whatever he makes you do,” she snarls, “you will never actually be against me. You will fight him, I will fight for you. And neither of us will rest until you are free, truly and completely free. Please, please be my partner again.”

And he’s already in love with her. He fell for Ladybug a long time ago, the day they met for a moment almost exactly like this one. He fell for Marinette more recently, slowly after another thousand instances of her standing her ground against injustice again and again. 

But in this moment, looking at her with determination and love shining from every pore, he falls in love with her all over again.

She can’t conceive of a battle that she can’t win no matter how much the deck is stacked against her. And really, he can’t conceive of a battle she can’t win either. Chat Noir has always had the front row seat to watching her come out on top again and again through creative genius, persistence, and a fierce determination to protect everyone she loves.

Her cause is right, and her sense of justice is stronger than her doubt, and her love is stronger than her fear.

And so he can’t deny her. With his lips stretched into a watery smile, he nods his permission. 

She slips the ring back onto his finger and it feels like coming home after being lost in a blizzard. 

His arms are around her in an instant, and he knows that as long as he has her, as long as she cares and believes in him, he will always fight anyone and everyone that stands against them. 

Even his father.  

And with her by his side, how can they ever lose? 

Chapter Text

I figured out who Monarch is. He’s Gabriel Agreste. Meet me at the Agreste Mansion. 

Chat Noir stares at the text and then glances up once again at the imposing statue erected in his father’s honor. Because his father apparently sacrificed himself to help Ladybug defeat Monarch. 

He shivers in the winter morning air. 

Both of those realities can’t be true. 

Chat Noir falls to the ground, his father’s oversized form blocking out the sun’s glare. He has no idea what he’s feeling, but whatever it is, it isn’t good. He just sits there, gravel from the pavement digging through his suit, barely aware of the passersby chattering about his unexpected presence. He can’t hear what they’re saying with his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest. His stomach is so sour he thinks he might throw up, and his hands shake hard enough he’s not certain he will keep hold of his baton.

His father’s gone. 

He wished for this. Adrien wanted the man who wouldn’t let him make his own choices or live his life gone. And him being Monarch made all of that worse somehow. 

How many times had Adrien wished Monarch dead? 

Well, now he was. 

But Ladybug told him to his face, as Adrien, that his father gave up everything so he could be happy. 

Adrien can’t believe it. His father had never cared about Adrien’s happiness. That had never been more clear than when he shipped Adrien off to London to be the poster child alongside Kagami for the Alliance rings or whatever else his father had in mind. 

It’s far, far easier to believe his father had been Monarch. 

But why did Ladybug lie?

He doesn’t have to contemplate the question long. She lands next to him and he scrambles to his feet, his shoulders tense as he turns to her. She asked to meet him this morning, it’s the first time he’s seen her since he failed to show up to fight Monarch. Is she angry with him? She doesn’t look angry, but she doesn’t look happy either.  

She very noticeably does not look at the monument. 

“Can we talk anywhere but here?” Her voice shakes. And it’s amazing how just that small sign of anxiety from her makes his own turmoil abate. 

For the moment, at least. 

He clears his throat. “Lead the way.” His voice sounds like gravel. 

She takes off, and he launches himself in pursuit, not paying any attention to where they’re going. He just follows the flash of red as he always does.

They eventually settle on an ordinary rooftop away from prying eyes. She doesn’t speak. She stares at the blank brick wall in front of them as if it holds all the answers of the universe. 

Every moment of silence eats at him, bringing back the clammy feeling in his neck and the sour churn in his stomach. He can’t stand it. 

“M’lady?”

She glances at him and visibly swallows. 

“Are you okay?”

Her hands grip the edge of the roof and her gaze drops. She shakes her head and her eyes well with tears.

His hand covers hers immediately. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

She leans into his shoulder and his arm comes around her.

She breaks down into tears immediately, and he just holds her as she cries herself out. 

“I wish you were there,” she whispers, and his chest tightens in guilt. “I don’t know that it would have made any difference, but–” her head nuzzles further into his shoulder, “–I would have felt better with you there.” 

“I’m sorry,” he croaks again. He shouldn’t have given into his nightmare. He could have broken out of his father’s prison. It apparently wouldn’t have even mattered that it would have revealed his identity.

Monarch was dead. 

She shakes her head. “You couldn’t have known. I didn’t know either. I was there for another reason entirely.” 

He wants to ask what that reason was, but now that she’s talking, he’s unwilling to interrupt. 

“Discovering his identity was an accident. The miraculized robots were everywhere. They were tracking my active miraculous somehow. I had to detransform. He had me cornered. Thank god you sent Plagg. The tides shifted then! And I had him.”

Her face falls and she buries her eyes in her closed fists. 

“I was so stupid! I thought I could convince him to give it up for Adrien.” 

His throat tightens. It isn’t surprising that his father wouldn’t. But hearing her say it still somehow hurts. 

Adrien had never been enough, not for his father.

He blinks furiously to fend off the unwanted tears.

“So why is there a statue of Monarch in the middle of Paris?” he croaks. “Why did you lie to Adrien?” 

He doesn’t mean for it to be an accusation. He needs to know. 

But she recoils violently. “It wasn’t a lie!” 

He frowns. “But—“

Her face crumples and her body shakes like an earthquake. She breaks down into wracking sobs all over again. “I lost, Chaton. I trusted him. I wanted to be able to heal their relationship. He took all the miraculouses - including the Ladybug and the Black Cat. He made a wish.”

Adrien sucks in a breath. 

“But something I said must have gotten through because he changed his wish. He didn’t wish for his wife to be revived. He joined her in death instead. Then all the miraculouses minus the butterfly were returned to me. Before he did it, he asked me to make sure Adrien remembered him fondly.”

Adrien tastes bile. Seriously? His father wanted Adrien to think well of him? 

“So I only told Adrien the good parts. But I didn’t lie. Gabriel did sacrifice himself for his son’s happiness in the end. He did help me defeat Monarch.”

Adrien’s claws dig into his knee. His father may have said he did it for Adrien, but that’s what he always said. That’s what he said when he wouldn’t let Adrien have a birthday party, or go play music with his friends, what he said when he had forbidden Adrien from being with Marinette and when he had Adrien shipped off to London. 

But none of it was ever actually for Adrien. It never was. 

His father hadn’t needed to make a wish at all. He didn’t have to leave. If he wanted Adrien to be happy, he could have come back and done things differently.

“But it’s a lie.”

She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter?!” he echoes hotly. “That’s what Gabriel did to his son all the time. Lied to him, made choices for him about what he was allowed to know and do, what Adrien was allowed to feel. He locked him up and sent him away from the people he loved most!”

His heart rises to his throat, his chest heaves up and down. 

Ladybug stares at him, her eyes wide. “How do you know all that?”

He tries to meet her gaze, but he can’t do it. He feels exposed. 

“And now you want Adrien to remember that man fondly?! Want him to think that his pain and frustration and anger are all things he imagined?!”

She cries harder. “But he deserves better than Gabriel,” she sobs. 

Chat Noir took both her shoulders and squeezed them gently. “He deserves the truth. You need to tell him, M’lady.” 

And he’s being ridiculous. He already knows, so what does it matter? 

He just wants her to be the one to tell him.

“But how do I do that?” Her words are barely louder than the wind. Tears slip down her face. 

“He deserves to know,” he says again.

She leans back into Chat’s chest. “You’re right. I just— I wish he didn’t have to go through all this.” 

“He won’t be alone.” 

He has Marinette, Nino, and Plagg.

He has her.

… 

Ladybug doesn’t show up that night. Or the next. Adrien spends each evening pacing back and forth in front of his stupidly large glass window. He purposely kept his evenings clear - sending Marinette home early and begging Nathalie to let him eat alone in his room. 

He was trying to make it easier for Ladybug to approach him. 

But still, she hasn’t come. He doesn’t understand it. What is she waiting for? Does she not trust him as Chat Noir? Does she think Adrien can’t handle the truth? 

Adrien throws himself backwards onto his bed. Each day he proves more irritable than the last, prone to snapping at everyone around him — even Marinette, who’s the absolutely last person who deserves his ire.

Five excruciating days later, she stands before him, wringing her gloved hands and all the tension that had been building up inside him like water against a dam for days, releases. 

She’s here. She’s going to tell him.

He smiles at her. “What can I do for you, Ladybug?” he asks.

She doesn’t meet his gaze. She’s so worked up, he almost feels bad that he pushed her into this. He could have just volunteered as Chat Noir to talk to Adrien himself. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. 

She laughs darkly, and looks at him. “You should not be asking me that. I just… I have some things that I need to tell you, things I should have told you before. C-can we sit down for this?” 

“Of course!” he says, walking her to the couch. “Can I get you anything?” 

“No, no! I’m fine,” she says. “You should sit too.” 

He sits next to her. She’s vibrating in her seat. Her legs are bouncing, her hands are fidgeting, she looks at him only to look away immediately. 

She bolts to her feet and starts pacing in front of him. His eyes follow her. 

“So umm…” Her hands flail around her. “You know how I told the city that your father helped me defeat Monarch?” The words come out of her in a rush, like she’s afraid if she stops she won’t get them out. 

“Yes?” 

“Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Your father—” she looks at him now. “Well, he was Monarch.” 

And there it is. The words are out. He almost wants to laugh. Instead, he lets out a heavy sigh.

“Are you okay?” she asks, kneeling down in front of him, and taking his hands. 

He smiles again, and nods. “I… okay is not the word, but maybe? Thank you for telling me. It’s relieving in a way.”

“Relieving?” she repeats, her eyebrows arching in disbelief.  

“Yeah, thinking of him as a hero after everything he did to me… it didn’t feel right, but being angry with the person who helped Ladybug save all of Paris— well, that didn’t feel right either.” 

“I— I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

He squeezes her hand. 

“Why are you letting the whole city believe he was a hero?” he asks. It’s still the one bit that doesn’t make sense. 

She offers him a pained smile. “Because I didn’t want anyone to know you had any association with the villains.”

He frowns. “You don’t need to do—“ 

She shakes her head sharply, cutting him off. “There’s more to it than that. This next part, Adrien. I…” she bites her lower lip. “I haven’t told anyone. Not even my partner.”

Every muscle in his body locks up. 

“This is too sensitive, too personal. I feel like I shouldn’t even know.” 

Her hands tremble, and he shivers.  What could be so awful that it was worth letting all of Paris believe Monarch was a hero?  

Ladybug’s finger taps the rings on his left hand - and he glances down at his parents’ wedding rings. 

“These aren’t ordinary rings. They’re amoks.”

“Amoks?” he repeats. “Like for a sentimonster?”

“Sentibeings,” she corrects. “These are your amoks.” 

Did his father leave sentimonsters running around? Ones that Adrien is now responsible for? How awful was—

Ladybug watches him carefully. She’s biting her lip again, her eyes wide, clearly bracing herself for his reaction. 

He missed the mark. The rings are suddenly all he can see. These are his amoks. 

He hunches forward, his shoulders feeling like lead. He gasps for air that won’t fill his lungs. It feels like the ground has opened up underneath him and swallowed him whole.

Ladybug’s arms wrap around him, she cradles his head against her chest. She strokes his hair like he’s a small child needing to be soothed.

“I’m a… sentimonster.” 

She shakes her head violently. “Senti- being.” 

He laughs, the sound hysterical and unbelieving even in his own ears. 

“But yes, you were created with the peacock miraculous.” 

He’s a sentimonster. 

His whole life is stored in a pair of rings. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you this,” Ladybug says, tears slipping over her mask. “I wish you didn’t have to know.” 

His eyes fly up to her face. Ladybug almost didn’t tell him. If Chat Noir hadn’t convinced her, would he have ever known?

Suddenly, he’s furious. “You weren’t going to tell me.” 

“Adrien, I swear I returned the rings to you the second I understood what they were.” 

“What if I had taken them off or given them away?!”

Then her words catch up to him. 

“Wait. You didn’t give me these rings. It was… Marinette?” 

Her eyes flood with tears. It’s confirmation enough. 

He scuttles backward so fast the couch tips over. He shoves himself across the floor further, needing to be away from her. 

“Adrien! Please!” she begs, reaching for him on her knees. 

She’s Marinette. 

He sobs brokenly, shaking his head. “I don’t understand! Why would you keep this from me?! I thought Ladybug, at least, had no idea what my father was like. But you? Marinette! You stood against him time and again. And now you cave to him?! To lie to me?!” 

“I didn’t want to hurt you! I wanted you to be as happy as possible given everything that has happened.” 

He caves in on himself - he cradles his neck, and buries his head between his knees, rocking back and forth. 

“Adrien?” she asks, her hand hovering over his shoulder. He flinches from her, and she backs away. 

“I’m sorry!” she cries. 

“You know, when I read your text the first time, I felt relief. My father was Monarch. That sucked, but it also felt like a puzzle piece had snapped into place. Something that made sense.” 

“What text?” 

“Then you showed up to talk to me, and you fed me a completely different story! My father, a hero?“ he laughs bitterly. 

“Adrien—“

“When I told you that you needed to tell me, I didn’t think it mattered because I already knew. I wanted to hear it from you.”

Her eyes blow open wide and her mouth falls open into a horrified “oh”. 

“Chaton?” she asks, her voice cracking.

“If I hadn’t done that, would you have ever told me?” 

Her cries only intensify and she doesn’t answer him, but for once, he’s unmoved by her tears. He can’t ever remember being so angry with her. 

“You’re just like him.”

The look on her face is pure devastation. He can’t bring himself to care. 

“I’m so sorry,” she sobs. 

“Why didn’t you just use the rings?” 

“What do you mean?” Her voice is so quiet he barely hears her. 

“If you wanted me to be happy, couldn’t you have just ordered me to be happy?”

“Adrien! That’s horrible!” 

“Is it?! How is it any different than what you did?! You told me lies to manipulate my feelings! Made me believe in something that you knew wasn’t true. The rings just would have made it easier.” 

“I would never do that to you!”

“But you did!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t understand! I never wanted to hurt you. I love you.” 

“That just makes it worse.”

“Adrien, please.” She reaches for him again.

He pulls away. 

“I can’t do this right now.” 

She stares at him, her eyes glassy. “Adrien–”

“Just go!” he shouts. 

And she does. And he’s not entirely certain that he wants her to come back. 

…

She keeps calling him. She calls him so many times that first night he loses track. She leaves him messages almost every time. He listens to every single one the second it comes in. 

She apologizes profusely again and again. She cries until her voice is sandpaper, and then she cries more. She understands why he’s angry and she knows what she did wrong. 

He wants to forgive her. He does. 

But he doesn’t know how.

Two days go by, and he still doesn’t take any of her calls. But he continues to listen to every message. 

His phone rings again, but it’s Alya. 

“Hey, what’s up?” he answers cautiously. 

“How are you doing?” And it’s definitely Alya talking — not Marinette and he relaxes. 

“That depends.” 

“On?”

“Are you asking because you want to know, or because Marinette does?”

“I won’t tell Marinette anything if you don’t want me to, but whatever happened between the two of you, know that she has always loved you.” 

He squeezes his eyes closed. He doesn’t even doubt that. But his parents had loved him too. He twists his amoks around his finger. That hadn’t stopped either of them from controlling and manipulating him. 

“Sometimes love isn’t enough,” he says. 

Alya’s silent for a moment. “You don’t really believe that, do you?” she asks softly.

“I didn’t used to,” he admits. “But now… now, I don’t know where I stand with anyone.” 

“I can only imagine how hard it must be to process everything about your father.” 

“Yeah, everything about my father,” he echoes dully. Alya doesn’t know even half of it— 

“It’s so messed up,” she commiserates. “Especially given who you all turned out to be.” 

Unless she already knows all of it. Because she’s Ladybug’s best friend! 

“How long have you known?” he asks, trying to keep his tone even, but it probably just comes out cold. 

“Known what?”

“That I’m Chat Noir, she’s Ladybug, and my father was fucking Monarch?!”

“Adrien, listen—“

Adrien’s tired of listening. 

“—she had a total meltdown.” 

“She told you before she told me, didn’t she?” 

“Adrien–” 

He’s shaking his head even though she can’t see him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because I thought it should come from her!” 

“Did she also tell you I’m a sentimonster and she wasn’t going to tell me?!”

“A what?! Adrien!—“

He hangs up. He tries to take solace from the fact that Marinette hadn’t told Alya or Chat Noir about Adrien being a sentimonster. She had some lines she wouldn’t cross at least. 

But it’s not enough. She hadn’t planned on telling him either. 

He twists the rings on his finger. What if he had taken them off? 

It’s the thought he can’t shake.

He calls Nino.

“Hey mec! What’s up?” 

“Tell me you didn’t know.” 

“Know what?” 

“Did Marinette or Alya tell you about me?” 

“Umm… I thought you already knew that Marinette liked you since you guys have been dating.” 

And despite everything Adrien bursts out laughing. Nino definitely didn’t know anything. 

“Dude! What is going on?”

“Can I come over?”

“Anytime, mec!” Nino exclaims enthusiastically! “You never have to ask.”

…

Adrien barely has time to knock before Nino whips the door open and yanks him inside and into a hug. 

Adrien lets himself relax. Nino didn’t know anything. Nino never lied to him. If anything, Nino was stupidly forthcoming about his own secrets. 

He can trust Nino. 

Which gives him an idea. A terrible idea. 

“Dude! How’ve you been holding up?” 

Adrien shrugs. Before he can overthink it, he slips both of his amoks off his finger and presses them into Nino’s hands. 

“Put these on,” he says.

Nino looks at the rings. “Are these wedding rings?” Nino asks. 

“Technically, yes.”

“You proposing, mec? You could at least buy me dinner first.” 

Adrien doesn’t laugh. “Just put them on. I want to try something. I’ll explain after.” 

Nino slips the rings on without any hesitation. “Okay. Now what?” 

Because Nino trusts him. 

“Tell me to do something weird.” 

“Weird like what?”

“I don’t know, something I wouldn’t normally do.” 

Nino pulls out his phone and puts on a dance remix. “Alright dude. Dance like you’ve never danced before.” 

Adrien throws himself into the moves, rolls with the music - Nino’s music, he tells himself. It doesn’t feel like a compulsion. It feels like he wants to do it - almost like it’s his own idea. But he can’t stop either. And he wants to cry. 

How many times had he tried to stand up to his father only to immediately fold once standing before him?

Even his maman! How many times had she sweet talked him into cooperating? She had always said he was an easy child. All he had ever wanted was to make them proud. Was any of it him? 

Nino stops the music.

“Dude! You’re crying.” 

He is, and yet, he’s still dancing. Another sob tears from his throat. 

He’s not human. He’s a sentimonster, a puppet on strings, a plaything for his parents’ amusement.

“Stop it! What’s wrong?” Nino asks, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

Adrien’s limbs still, and he falls to his knees, sobbing.

Nino is on the ground right next to him an instant later. “Talk to me, please.”

Adrien knows with that command, he can technically talk about anything, but he had come here to talk about one thing in particular.

“I’m a sentimonster,” he gasps. “I’ve been a sentimonster my whole life. Those,” he points to the rings on Nino’s pinky and ring finger, “are my amoks.” 

Nino’s expression falls off his face. Then he tears the rings off his hands and slams them up against Adrien’s chest. 

“Why would you ever give these to me?! Why would you give them to anyone?!”

“I just… wanted to know how they worked, what it felt like. I didn’t think you would use them if you knew.”

“Damn right, I wouldn’t!” Nino roared, his chest visibly heaving. “Please don’t put me in that position again!”

Adrien nods. “I’m sorry.”

“What the hell is going on? What do you mean you’re a sentimonster? They haven’t been around that long. Are you some kind of copy of my best friend?” 

Adrien shakes his head. “I’m the original, one and only, Adrien Agreste. My father had the butterfly and the peacock since before I was born, and apparently for some reason —“ that Adrien hadn’t had time to even think about, let alone figure out. “—they raised a sentimonster instead of having a child using more natural methods.” 

“Wait! Your father had the butterfly?! But that means—“

“He was Monarch,” Adrien says before Nino can. 

“But Ladybug said—“

“Yeah well, Ladybug doesn’t have the best relationship with the truth,” he says bitterly. “She’s like my father.” 

Nino looks more shocked by that than anything else Adrien has said. 

“What?” Adrien asks, unable to interpret Nino’s silence. 

“Dude!” Nino exclaims like that explains everything. “You’ve always been Ladybug’s biggest fan!” 

“That was before she tried to lie to me about my father! She wasn’t even going to tell me about being a sentimonster! She gave me back these rings without saying anything! What if I had lost one or taken them off? Or gave her one when I proposed?!”

“When you proposed?” Nino echoes. “To Ladybug?” 

Adrien thunks his head against the wall. He hadn’t lasted twenty-four hours with her identity. She’s going to kill him.

“Can we pretend I didn’t say that?” 

Nino’s head cocks to the side. “Marinette is Ladybug. Huh.” 

“That doesn’t surprise you?” 

“That’s definitely the least surprising thing you’ve said today. Not surprising at all really,” Nino says. “Okay, so we’re pissed at Maribug—“

“Cute.” 

“—because she didn’t tell you about your father being an even worse dick than we already knew. And she didn’t tell you were a sentimonster. But then, how did you find out?” 

“She told me.” 

“But—“

Adrien sighs. He’s already screwed as it is. “She told me as Chat Noir.”

Nino is silent again. “You’re Chat Noir.” 

“Yup.” 

“And your dad was Monarch.” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Mec! That’s so messed up.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

“So Maribug told Adrien the same thing she told the city?”

“Yeah, that he died a hero helping her defeat Monarch.” 

“Gross,” Nino says. “Why would she want you to remember him with rose colored glasses?” 

“I don’t know!” 

“Do you think she killed him?” 

Adrien freezes. The thought had never occurred to him because it’s incomprehensible. “No. There’s no way.” 

“And she told Chat Noir - not knowing that she was talking to you - that you’re a sentimonster?” 

“No, she only told Chat Noir that my father was Monarch.”

Nino hums. 

“Just say it,” Adrien says. 

“Well, I get that you’re pissed. I think I am too on your behalf. But I don’t think Marinette is anything like your father.” 

“Go on.” Adrien wants to forgive her. He just needed a way to get there in his own head. 

“The difference is Marinette did tell you.” 

“She wasn’t going to. I had to talk her into it.” 

Nino nods. “Exactly. She wasn’t going to, and then you explained your perspective and she changed her mind. She recognized that she was wrong, that you were right, and she did what Marinette always does. She tried to fix it. Your dad would have only doubled down.” 

“Or tried to akumatize someone over it,” Adrien adds darkly. 

“Dude! He’s akumatized like every single one of your friends.” 

His father hadn't wanted him to have any friends. Had his father ever seen him as a real person? 

“Nino, do you still care about me knowing that I’m not real?” 

“What the fuck kinda question is that? One, yes! I care about you more than almost anyone on this planet. And two, you are most definitely real.” 

Adrien’s crying again, but Nino quickly seizes him in a hug. Adrien buries himself in Nino’s solid embrace, and he knows he’s going to be okay even if he’s not there yet. 

…

It’s been four days since he shouted at Marinette to get out of his room. 

She’s still calling him, and he covets every message, as a sign that she loves him despite what he is, that she hasn’t given up on him, or on them. He listens to them the second they show up, though he still hasn’t been able to bring himself to respond, though he thinks he might be getting close. He did send a message through Alya that he appreciates Marinette’s messages, he just wants some space and he’ll let her know when he’s ready to talk.

Most of her messages are similar in nature. She apologizes over and over, tells him that she loves him, and that she’ll do anything to make it up to him. She just doesn’t know what that is. 

He thought that he might feel vindicated or something hearing her so small and contrite, but he doesn’t. He feels awful because as much as he was hurt, he doesn’t want her to hurt either. 

He loves her. 

Then her last two messages are drastically different in content. 

“I learned that you were a Senti from Felix.” Her voice is subdued, like she’s narrating from a script. “He and Kagami are both sentis as well. They asked Ladybug for help.” 

Figured that Felix told Ladybug without even telling him.

“I’m not sure they want anyone to know that, but I guess… even if you—“ her voice cracks and his chest clenches at the pain in her voice. “—even if you can’t forgive me, I-I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.”

She’s openly sobbing now. “I love you.” 

The message abruptly ends.

The second message that day comes in hours later. 

“I got Kagami to bully Felix into letting me talk to Dusuu!” Her voice is so different from the previous call. She sounds excited. She sounds like Ladybug with an idea. “The original amoks didn’t have a mind control feature. That was something the Guardians added at the same time they added it to the miraculouses to be able to control the kwamis. If they added it, there’s gotta be a way to take it away, right?” 

“I have a plan to free you all from your amoks. But there’s a hiccup. We’ll need the butterfly so I can give you the power to see your spiritual connection to the ring so you can cataclysm only the part that can control you. I know it’s dangerous. And we don’t have to do it if you’re not comfortable, and we don’t have the butterfly right now anyway—“ 

Adrien smiles as Marinette rambles on. How had he never realized Ladybug and Marinette were the same? They think out loud in the exact same way. 

Even though he asked for space, even though he wasn’t talking to her, even though she wasn’t certain they were going to remain a couple, she was still fighting for him. 

He transforms immediately and lands just outside the bakery. He slips into the alleyway and let’s the suit dissolve. He’s not sure if she’s even home, but he hopes that she is. 

He takes the stairs two at a time. He hesitates before knocking. And before he can bridge the gap, the door flies open of its own accord. 

Marinette drops her purse and stares at him. Her eyes are red and her usually neat pigtails are half falling out and completely uneven. She’s still in her pajamas though she had thrown a coat and a scarf over them. 

She has never looked more beautiful. 

He offers her a wobbly smile. “I’m sorry. You’re on your way out. I can— I can come back.” He starts to turn around. 

She grabs his wrist. “No! Please don’t go.” Her voice is hoarse, and faint, like she’s afraid if she’s too loud he’ll bolt. “Wh-what do you wan— I mean, need? What do you need?” 

He eyes her grip on his wrist, and she instantly lets go, and suddenly can’t meet his eyes. 

“Can we talk?” he asks. 

She nods. Her eyes are downcast, her shoulders are hunched in, and her arms are wrapped around her stomach. She’s been tearing herself up all the days he didn’t speak to her. 

“Hey,” he says softly. “Can you look at me?” 

She does, but her eyes water immediately, and he yanks her into his arms.

“It’s going to be okay,” he assures. 

She crumples in his arms. He rocks her harder, kisses her hair, and continues to hold her. 

“I’m so sorry,” she sobs. 

“It’s… o—“ he cuts himself off before he can say it’s okay. Nino told him that was the one sentence he wasn’t allowed to say. “It’s going to be okay,” he says again. 

She shakes her head. “No, I’m awful. I don’t know what I was thinking! You’re right to be so angry. You’re right to hate me!” 

He laughs, and then cups either side of her face. Her blue eyes fill with tears and he aches for her. “M’lady, I could never ever hate you. I was hurt.” 

“Of course you were!” 

“And I needed some space.” 

She nods against his hands. 

“But I’ve been thinking, and Nino made me realize that I actually should be thanking you.” 

“Thanking me?! For what?!”

“Because you told me.” 

“But I wasn’t going to. Not until you convinced me to.” 

“But then you did. You listened to me, and you trusted me as Chat Noir, and then you told me as Adrien. And I’m glad that I know now. I needed to know. No one else was ever going to tell me. And so, I’m really glad I have you, that you respected me enough to tell me this hard truth about my own life. My parents didn’t tell me. Nathalie never did, though she had to have known. And I don’t think she ever would have. Even Felix, and apparently Kagami, didn’t tell me though you think they’d get it better than anyone.”

“But I should have told you right away. I never should have lied.” 

He shrugs. “Yeah, that’s true, but we all make mistakes. And when you realized you were wrong, you tried to fix it.” He holds up his phone. “And you’re still trying to fix it. Even though it’s hard, even though I didn’t take it well. You still told me the truth when no one else did. And I just— I love you.”

He presses his forehead to hers. “Even when you make mistakes, even when you really piss me off, even when you’re not perfect, I love you. And I don’t think that will ever not be the case. Thank you for telling me, thank you for giving me some space to figure stuff out on my own, and if you’ll have me, may I still be yours?”

“If I’ll have you?” she repeats, aghast. “Shouldn’t it be if you’ll still have me?”

He shrugs again. “I’ve already said I still want to be your partner in every sense of the word, but I’ve had time to think about it while you were sending me message after message that you loved me. Even though I’m not even human.” 

Her face contorts into pure rage. “Adrien Agreste! You are the most beautiful human being I have ever met in my life! You are kind. You give people second chances. You are persistent, and brave, and you have the dorkiest sense of humor. You drive me absolutely insane both with and without a mask, and I am so stupidly in love with you, I will absolutely still have you! And if you think—“

He cuts her off with a kiss. He’s going to spend the rest of his life with this girl if he has anything to say about it.