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“That man!’ Sadie growled with anger as she stormed into your shared tent. yet all you could think about was how cute she was when her tensed her face like that “I swear he gets on my last nerve”
“I don’t know why you let Pearson get to you so much” you laughed reaching forward to take hold of her hands.
“It ain’t funny (y/n)! He gets right under my skin, tellin’ me I should be chopping the vegetables rather than actually hunting for some decent meat” she ranted throwing her hat onto the bed.
You pulled her closer to you, hoping that by leaning in slightly to kiss her soft cheek would make her feel better, but the red mist behind Sadie’s eyes had not yet disappeared and she pulled away to pace around the tent.
“I mean me and my Jakey, we were equals - shared every chore, and he never questioned my ability to do anything just because I’m a woman.”
You nodded sympathetically, understanding her frustration, but inside you felt the familiar bubble of jealousy rise deep within you at the mere mention of her late husband’s name. You knew she would always love him, and you never wanted her stop doing so, as that was one of the reasons that you had fell in love with her yourself. Hell, you didn’t even want her to replace him in her heart with you, but yet a small part of you resented having to share her with a memory.
You cast your mind back to the moment when you first laid eyes on her, all those months ago during the blizzard in Colter; she stood shivering in her nightgown, even though she had a blanket wrapped around her, her eyes darting from each unfamiliar face unsure of where she was & what she had gotten herself into
Your heart broke looking at this newly widowed woman. You also knew what it was to be a woman all alone in this world and was more than grateful when you received the support of the Van der Linde Gang all those years ago. This thought alone had fuelled you make sure Sadie would be well looked after, in the same manner you had been. Just small things such sitting next to her in that small, cold cabin; holding her hand as she openly sobbed, or even lending her some of your clothes to wear until you both had chance to buy some new outfits. As time passed, her tears stopped flowing so freely, but you saw the pain and loneliness in her eyes, and so you made it your mission to always be nearby if she needed company.
When the snow finally melted and the camp could finally travel safely out of the mountains, you rode towards Horseshoe Overlook on the back of a wagon alongside her. Once everybody had helped set up, you realised that there wasn’t a bed set up for Sadie, so you kindly offered to share your tent. It was here you realised that your feelings for Mrs. Adler had developed beyond friendship. You’d lay awake at night watching her finally at peace when she managed to fall asleep, or softly stroking her hair when the nightmares did return.
Even by the time the camp had had to move again, this time to a small enclosure somewhere in the south of Lemoyne known as Clemens Point, you weren’t willing to act on your feelings for Sadie. It had after all only been a few months since her devastating loss and you didn’t want to risk losing your treasured friendship with her.
But one night the gang had found cause to celebrate and you found yourself having one drink too many. Breaking away from the other rabble-rousers scattered around the camp, you found yourself walking down towards the lake where Sadie was sat watching the world pass by.
“You not joining us?” you slurred dropping yourself with a thud on to the ground next to her
“Careful” she laughed helping you to sit up probably “I just needed time to think”
You nodded knocking back the last of your beer before she sighed and turned to face you
“Oh (y/n), you’ve been such a good friend to me these last few months”
“But I don’t want to be just your friend” you pouted before realising what had just spilt out of your mouth “I mean…I…Oh Sadie, if you only knew how much you mean to me”
“I do know” she replied smiling sweetly whilst taking hold of your hand.
“What? You do? But what about Jake?”
“Hush, I’m trying to kiss you” she told you, brushing her lips gently against yours. It was from that moment all your worries melted away and you knew that you could never let her go.
“And another thing….” Sadie continued ranting, pulling you out of your daydream.
You wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her down to sit on your lap.
“(y/n) - what are you doing?”
“Hush” you whispered, placing a finger to her lips, “I’m trying to kiss you”