Chapter Text
The god of festivities, an elegant and extravagant god.
It was the first time that Inosuke knew a god in front of him, so he didn't know how they should be, but from what he could see is that Tengen Uzui was really cool, so probably the gods should be.
He was not going to be left behind, he presented himself as pride.
- I am the king of the mountain, nice to meet you god of festivities!
However Tengen did not recognize his genius as king of the mountain.
- What are you talking about ?, you're just nasty, eww- he replied with a grimace of disgust, so he felt offended, but later he thought that maybe it was that the gods only recognized other gods, then if he wanted Tengen recognize him, he would have to become a god like him.
Inosuke was not sure how to achieve it, but he was not going to give up, that would never become the god of the mountain, stronger than anyone even that the extravagant god of the holidays, everyone would recognize him and praise him.
If that was going to do.
Then after fully recovering from everything that happened with the infiltration mission in the red light neighborhood, the fight with the girdle demon worm and his brother, Inosuke undertook his mission to discover how to become a god as well as the pillar of sound .
The first thing Inosuke had to do was to know what they made Tengen a god, he would probably know more if he watched him closely.
- Hey Tenjou! - I call Inosuke from the door to Tanjirou, who was lying in bed resting his wounds in the patient room, since even if he had claimed that he was perfectly fine, the girls and even Shinobu had told him that he would rest for a longer time, until he healed completely.
- It's Tanjirou, Inosuke- he replied calmly, smiling at him.- does something happen?
Inosuke strode toward him.
- Hey, do you know anything about the Festivities god?
-Who?- He tilted his face, frowning confused.
- You know, the extravagant god who fought with us there in the red light district, the one that was super fast! - He explained shaking his hands with exaggerated gestures, trying to describe him.
Tanjirou rests his hand on his chin, finally locating who Inosuke was naming.
- Oh, you mean Tengen-san?
- Yes!
- I see, is something wrong with him? - The boy can hear how under his mask Inosuke laughs with complicity, probably making a malicious smile.
- I'm going to become a god like him, I have to see how I get to become one, that's why I'm going to see him to force him to tell me his secret!
Tanjirou smiles somewhat confused by Inosuke's words.
- Al right? But, this ... Inosuke I don't think there's a secret
- Do you know where I can find it? - Interrupts anxious to know.
- Ah, well I think he said something that he was going to rest for a few days in an inn near the mountains and ... - Tanjirou responds with slight concern in his words.
- Well, I'm going there! - Inosuke says, leaving hastily from the room, where Tanjirou said, leaving him alone in a blink even with the words in his mouth.
- W-wait, Inosuke! Ah, it's gone ...
Without turning it around, the boy quickly left the butterfly farm, hurrying to find the god.
Already away on the path, Inosuke spent a moment repairing the little he heard and paid attention to the whereabouts of Tengen by Tanjirou. He must be near the forest, that's what his partner said, so maybe if he climbed to the top of the mountain near there, he would have a better panorama and could easily find it, so he quickly climbed the whole mountain to Climb on the tree that was at the top, once on the peak of this, he used his hand to be able to guide himself through the whole landscape and thus locate the inn.
- Inn, inn, where the hell ... - He muttered to himself, turning his neck to look at all his surroundings, until his eyes met what he was looking for a few miles from where he was- ... ah, aha!
It was like the Shinobu pillar butterfly farm, except that it looked a little bigger, as well as more ostentatious, with even an elegant garden complemented by a small pond in the backyard where guests' rooms would surely be.
It was definitely the place where that extravagant would be, Inosuke thought as he approached to enter the inn through the roof without anyone finding out, walking on the roof until he found Tengen.
- I found you extravagant god! - I exclaim with euphoria, jumping on the pillar to kick it, as it was obvious to be a shinobi, elusive I barely notice.
- What the fuck !? What are you doing here? - Tengen shouted in dismay when he saw the boar's head brat in front of him, invading his room as if nothing and interrupting his rest
- Je!, you thought you could hide from the great Inosuke, but I'm always one step ahead! - I declare proudly, showing off his muscles and his great ingenuity, although Tengen looked at him as if he were seeing a madman.
- Could you go away, worm? - Asked gently indicating the exit, since, education above all.
- Not until you tell me your secret
- What secret? What the fuck are you talking about? -Tengen frowned in disgust, raising an eyebrow.
- Do not lie to me! You know which secret I am talking about! -I point to him accusing him with his finger.
The pillar watched him annoyed.
- ... No, the truth is no, could you go to the hell out here? I want to rest and you're fucking a little.
- Tell me how you became a god !! - But Inosuke was not going to give up, even if he had to take his secret by force.
- ... ah, what do you want to know how I became a god? Well, I was born and then I was already an elegant and extravagant god.- Uzui answered honestly with a superb smile, crossing his arms in a cool way.
- UGH- Inosuke made a noise of annoyance when he heard it, that was not what he wanted to know- how can I become a god !?
- Ha?-
did not understand this rare being of nature.
- I also want to be an extravagant and great god! Tell me how I can become one! - Vocifero raising his fists insistently.
Uzui stared at him for a few moments, wrinkling his lips in disgust, this brat was not going to leave him alone until he told him something.
- ... ah, that's fine- I sigh tiredly but after I tell you, you will go away and leave me alone.
Satisfied Inosuke sat on the floor, crossing his knees in front of Tengen.
- Good, Now listen carefully, because I will not repeat it again! - Tenge declared seriously, being listened carefully by the wild boar boy.
- Yes!
- First ... you have to die- That said Inosuke blinked a few times to see if he had heard wrong.
- Then you are reborn in another life as a god, ready so you become a god, now go- Tengen finished, turning around ignoring him completely.
That bastard was playing with him, Inosuke rose up angrily.
- Ha?! Don't make fun of my bastard! Tell me how I become one!
- One does not become a god, one is born being a god or is born as a respectable human being- Tengen spoke without looking at him, as if it were a totally obvious fact that he should already know- there is no more, now go away.
- Are you kidding!? - I bang his foot against the annoying floor, throwing a challenging look at Tengen under his mask-Hm, as I see you don't want to reveal your secret to me, then I'll have to do it on my own, but once it's one, You will have to ask the great Inosuke for mercy so that he does not destroy you with his breath of fire !!
Uzui have selfless eyes around.
- Yes, if anything, come and let me know as soon as you can incinerate me with your breath of fire or shit you call it-
Before he could finish, three girls broke into the room, the same ones they had come to help in the red light neighborhood.
Inosuke didn't remember their names.
-Tengen-samaaa! ~ Makio-san is bothering me!- I hear the black-haired girl scream with a ridiculously similar expression to the one Zenitsu used every time she cried.
Being followed by the blond-haired girl who stared at her in annoyance, holding in her hand a stitch of stones, the girl looked aggressive.
- Dumb!! Don't you see that Tengen sama is resting !? If you don't shut up, I'm going to fill your mouth with stones!
And behind them, came the girl with collected hair
- Gyahh! Tengen-sama! Tengen-sama! Makio-san is mean to me! ~ -The girl was still crying loose mucus while trying to get rid of the blond-haired girl who was holding her tightly, dangerously bringing the stones to her mouth.
- Stop being a crybaby, Suma !!
- Waaah !!
- You two stop fighting!-The other girl wanted to intervene, separating them, but the blond-haired girl had climbed on the other immobilizing her by putting the stones in her hand to the mouth of the girl who was still crying pathetically- Makio stops putting stones at the mouth of Suma! Suma stops crying! They are making a fuss!
The three of them were doing it, Inosuke looked at the scene like an outside spectator, feeling a very familiar sensation of all this, put his hand on his thoughtful chin.
Where had he seen something like this?
While Tengen looked at what they were doing with some disbelief by having in mind that their beautiful wives who were currently doing a show, were female Shinobis of the highest level.
- escuse ... they could- I try to stop them, but their voice was lost among the shouts that were giving the three- ... just stop? ...
None was paying attention to him, so he was completely ignored.
- SUMA, MAKIO, HINA- I raise my voice, calling their names with authority.
Finally the three listening to him, sitting on his knees in front of him directing all his attention, listening carefully to what he had to say, completely forgetting what they were doing.
- Yes? Tengen sama
- He needs something?
- ig Thege agyghing ge gan gelp ygou whigt? (Is there anything we can help you with?) - The weeping girl was still with stones in her mouth.
He look at them, letting out a sigh, massaging their temples in a tired way.
- Just, could they stop fighting every 5 minutes? I want to rest a little and it's hard do it with this scandal.
The girls seemed to realize their mistake, lower their heads grieved by their behavior.
- We are sorry…
- We didn't want to disturb him ...
- Excuse us, Tengen sama ~ ...
He felt bad to see them like that, so he relaxed his frown, giving them a gentle smile.
- They should also relax and rest, after all you have worked very hard, my girls deserve a rest ... - I pat the head of the three with tenderness, speaking softly, leaving a shocked expression on the girls' face for their words .
- Tengen sama, you're right ...
- l-let's relax ...
- Let's go eat mitarashi dango the four!
- Sure, sure - That was his wives, and he loved them just the way they were.
Before going with his wives, Uzui turned his head to see if the pig boy was still there, but he had already left, he didn't care much, at least he wouldn't bother him anymore.
Meanwhile Inosuke already outside the inn, already back to the farm, he devoted himself to thinking all afternoon that it was what made Tengen Uzui a god.
What did he have, that Inosuke didn't have?
Tanjirou, who was passing by, probably heard the sounds of frustration that Inosuke made when he thought so much, so he approached, sitting next to him.
-Inosuke, you came back ... emm, what are you doing? - I ask with interest.
- Silence Kamachiro! I try to think - Inosuke ordered with annoyance, making louder noises again this time, thinking that if he made more noise he would think better.
Tanjirou looked at him intrigued and missed.
- Thinking about?
- In the god of festivities!
- Oh, in Tengen-san? Didn't you go to see him before? - Tanjirou questioned, making Inosuke snap his tongue in annoyance.
- That bastard ... he didn't want to reveal his secret, but it doesn't matter, anyway I'm going to find a way to become a god!
- ... if you say so, how are you going to do it?
- ... That idiot has something that I don't, but I'm going to find out! Tanjirou you are going to help me!
- Well done Inosuke, you finally said my name correctly!
- Heh, heh, don't underestimate my ingenuity Gonpachi!
- Well ... I guess it's a breakthrough and how do you want me to help you?
- Tell me what does that god have that I don't have?
- What do you have ... uhm ... I know, he dress eccentrically!
- I see, so that's it! I have to dress eccentrically!
- Ah, but you're already quite extravagant, Inosuke
- ... then it's not that, what else!
- Ah ... well ... uhm ...
Zenitsu who had already woken up, he see them talking and decided to approach them since, well, he had nothing better to do, he was also curious.
- Good morning guys ... uhm what are you doing? - I ask strangely seeing both with a concentrated expression.
Tanjirou, recognizing his voice, turned to greet him with a cheerful smile on his lips.
- Oh, Zenitsu finally woke up, good morning, we were thinking with Inosuke about Tengen-san
- Tengen? ... ah, about that bastard- Zenitsu clicked his tongue in annoyance at the mention of that individual- ... why are they thinking about him? Surely it is bad luck to do so.
- Are you still spiteful about the red light district, Zen? - question the swordsman of the sun with grace as he remembers them dressed as supposed young ladies.
- ... It was humiliating, degrading, I lost myself and my dignity!
Inosuke who was ignoring them, turned to Zenitsu suddenly, asking incredulously.
- Did you have dignity?
Zenitsu screams in anger, wanting to hit Inosuke.
- Shut up stupid wild boar! You had your face as a pretty girl, you had no problems like me!
- But you must admit, it was a fun thing, I even made friends with a oiran they will in the house where I infiltrated.
Maybe it was that Tanjirou was such a good soul that he didn't realize the damage he did to Zenitsu with everything that came out of his honest mouth, or it was a hard head that enjoyed damaging Zenitsu's (small) ego by boasting of Your adventures with beautiful women.
- I also don't want to hear you talk to you, Tanjirou! Not all of us were blessed with being lucky with all the women who cross us! And speaking of luck- His face darkened sharply- ... what bothered me most about that bastard ... is that ... How is it possible that this damn has three wives?! ... Three ... not one, not two, ¡ if not THREE! Three beautiful women who, besides loving him, protect him !!
He threw himself to the ground to writhe in his pool of envy.
- I'm dying of jealousy !! What I would give to have only one, one wife! I want to marry! I want someone to love and protect me !! I want to love!! I want someone to love me !! - Zenitsu screamed in a panic attack, pulling his hair hard with both hands, in danger of tearing them away.
- Quiet Zenitsu, calm down- Tanjirou approached him, holding his back gently, smiling at him to calm him- ... you don't have to be sad ... Us already love you.
- Tanjirou ... .- Zenitsu was touched.
Tanjirou was so good ...
- Do we do it? - Inosuke asked tilting his head doubtfully.
And Inosuke was a complete stupid.
- Stupid Insensitive! -Chillo Zenitsu, crawling towards his friend to hug his waist- Tanjirou ~ I don't want to die alone! But it probably does! Nobody loves Me!
Tanjirou comforted him by massaging his back with tenderness, giving Inosuke a reproachful look, who didn't seem to care.
- Inosuke! Apologize to Zenitsu, calm Zen, you won't die alone! We really love you.
- You're kind Tanjirou but even if they love me, They can't marry me ... unless ... Tanjirou! - Explained reluctantly, more in a rapid movement Zenitsu took both hands of Tanjirou squeezing them against his chest, dangerously approaching his face, almost putting their noses together, staring at him with incredible seriousness.
- W-what? - Tanjirou asked nervously.
- If you really are my friend ... and you love me ... - He seemed so sure with his words that he made Tanjirou really nervous about what he was going to say, he felt that their faces were very close.
I didn't know what to think, of course he loved Zenitsu but, this was very hasty ... him wouldn't know ...
- Z-zen?
- Give me your blessing to marry Nezuko-chan! I swear I will love her and protect her, in health and sickness
- NO- He denied in a low voice, looking at Zenitsu somberly, leaving him frozen and at the same time destroying his illusions.
Then all that security left, causing Zenitsu to start sobbing again, clinging to Tanjirou's haori while begging him on his knees.
- Tanjirou ~ please, I think she loves me too-
- NO, Zenitsu you are not going to marry with my sister.
First dead.
- You're cruel ~ you said we were friends and you loved me! Where is the solidarity with your words? - He wanted to excuse himself.
- It does not have to do one thing with the other!
And so the afternoon passed, with Zenitsu crying clinging to Tanjirou asking him to let him marry Nezuko, with Tanjirou firmly refusing and Inosuke leaving the garden, thinking that he had not yet discovered the secret to being a god, when an idea illuminated his mind as fast as lightning.
- that's!