Work Text:
The giant, luminant hand hovered right over the two, night-black fingertips bent down to lift the boy up. Connie struggled against the cold, unmoving lock Pearl had between her arms. “No… No…” Her legs, lifted just above the floor, helplessly stretched for some kind of surface to ground her down. There was a ringing in her ears, dulling out White Diamond’s words. If she didn’t know better, it would have sounded like a gentle, teasing coo.
“Let him go!” She cried out, voice cracked with desperation.
Her struggling became more frantic, every second stretching out like a strained yarn, yet there was far from enough time. Those fingernails, bent to shape a wicked talon, edged itself under the fabric of his T-shirt, tracing the line between where his skin ended and when the cool facet of his gem emerged.
Connie kicked against Pearl’s rigid form, but it felt like she was rooted to the floor. Her screams were echoed back to her by the walls, throat ripped raw from desperation. She knew what was coming, she had to make it stop, something, anything, please-
“It’s time to come out, Pink.”
Steven had enough time to send her a remorseful look.
A pink diamond was cleanly pulled out, yet Steven’s anguish was messy, coming out as a piercing shriek. Connie’s veins felt like they turned into ice. Dull, scarlet droplets cascaded from the gaping hole where his gem was removed, staining the floor red. A part of her told her to look away, but she couldn’t remember how to turn her head. She watched as grass and flowers grew from where his blood struck the cool tiles of the room, curled ferns that belonged on a summer field rising through a white landscape. Her sense of smell was invaded by the metallic rancour of gore, her body ached from struggling, and despite her tears she could see everything happening clear as day.
He fell limp between White Diamond’s fingers, and she moved the gem to her other hand, giving the organic form a withering look. Whatever was left of Steven dropped onto the floor with a heavy thud.
“-NO!”
Connie realized she was sitting straight up, fingers digging into the edges of her blanket with a visceral grip. A few locks of her hair draped over her face, obscuring her vision. Unfocused, she lifted a hand to her face, only to feel the cool, fresh moisture at the corner of her eyes.
Another one of those nightmares, huh?
Her chest felt like it was about to burst. She could still smell the blood hanging in the air, and every time she blinked, the images of what she just relived burned into the back of her eyelids. She brought her knees to her front and wrapped her arms around them, tucking her head into her nightdress. A strangled sound escaped from her throat, and her whole body started to shake, willing herself to soothe her racing thoughts.
She listened to the ticking of her bedroom clock, meditated on its rhythm, but she couldn’t tell you how long she had been curled around herself like this. She finally lifted her face back up and sighed.
She squinted at the clock, trying to read the time with the little moonlight that edged through the closed curtains. Its arms were soon to strike 3:00 am. Connie groaned. A Saturday morning was the rare chance to wake up late, with her parents out for work in the earlier hours, but she couldn’t go back to sleep now, not while her stomach was knotted and her cold sweat soaked into the fabric of her sheets.
Her heart felt tugged and heavy, and she longed for something to distract her from this all. She couldn’t wile away time until dawn struck, with her only company being her dark thoughts. She glanced at the dark silhouette of her phone, lying on top of her study desk. She considered dialling Steven’s number to tell him what happened, but quickly scratched the notion off. Calling him at this hour, to tell him about something that happened almost a year ago? She brought a hand and dragged it across her face, trying to mentally shake off the images, but it was of no use. The most she tried to stop thinking about it, the harder the memories came crashing down on her. Maybe she could distract herself with a good book and forget this all happened. Yeah.
A low, growling sound from outside. Breath hitched, she edged herself to the foot of her bed and slowly pushed away the curtains, looking outside for its source. She saw a figure pawing at the walls of the house, blinking up at her knowingly. There was no mistaking the pink, fluffy mane.
-------
Connie rarely, if ever, visited the beach at night, so it was a surprise to feel the freezing ocean winds pushing against her old winter coat. She had picked it out from her closet while hastily finding a way to sneak out the house from her window, along with her sword, tucked into the scabbard slung around her back. She was (mostly) sure that she wouldn’t have to fight anything, but having it with her made her feel safer. It was a seal of honor, of sorts. Something to remind her of how far she’s come.
She scratched behind Lion’s ear, who had warped the two of them right at the staircase leading to the Crystal Gems’ front porch. “Good boy.” She murmured, to which the feline responded with a content, raspy noise. Her gaze lingered on the front door. Was this any better than calling Steven? She wondered. Maybe I should have told him I was coming over beforehand… She pinched the bridge of her nose and chastised herself. Why am I even here? Just because Lion was nearby doesn’t mean sneaking off was the best course of action. I’ll just tell him to take us back and...
“Connie?”
Steven’s voice was almost carried off by the biting winds. Connie craned her neck to look at him, standing behind the two. His face was creased in concern, a look he’s been quite adept at after months of diplomatic practice abroad.
“Steven!” Connie’s arms dropped to her sides, trying to piece together a coherent explanation as to why she was here. Embarrassment burnt away any thoughts she could have formed. “I…”
The boy walked up and pulled her towards him, resting his chin softly on the crook between her shoulder and neck. The girl returned the embrace more fiercely, burying her face into the dark curls of his hair. His warmth was all the more reassuring in the unforgiving coldness of the early morning, and her arms still rested on his shoulders when they broke the hug.
“Are you okay?” His worrying tone held the hint of a plea behind it.
“Yeah. Just a bad dream.” Connie’s voice was hoarse, both from exhaustion and mental fatigue.
“Let’s go inside. Tell me everything.” He brought a hand up hold her wrist, leading them up the front porch. Lion stayed at the foot of the staircase, his side splayed across the sand. He gave a silent yawn and looked out to sea.
-------
The scabbard and coat were left on the coffee table, lit under a dull orange light that was already on when the two walked in. Even though the temple household has grown to be a second home for her, Steven was as courteous as any host, a trait credited to Pearl. He insisted on getting some water, for her sore voice, and a blanket, for the cold weather. As Connie recounted her dream, both of them sat by the side of the couch, the bedcover thrown across the teenagers.
“-And she just…” Her hands tightened around the glass of water. “She just took it out. I couldn’t get out in time. There was blood and plants started growing everywhere and threw- she just threw you away like that. I couldn’t even get myself to move, like- like some kind of deer in headlights-” She could feel the bile rise in her mouth from nausea.
“Connie…”
She dug a hand into her hair. “I hate that feeling, you know? Where you can’t do anything, just sit and watch as everything crumbles around you.” Her fervour made her tremble slightly, and Steven lifted a palm to her lap in reassurance.
“I wanted to look away but I- I couldn’t.” The world felt like a blur as she spiralled into her own mind, barely registering his touch. “I felt so scared. I couldn’t stop calling out your name. I felt like I was going to throw up. It was like an earthquake, when she dropped you to the-”
“Connie!”
Steven’s yelp jolted her back to reality. She snapped her head up and saw tears trailing down the boy’s face, which was now a blotchy red from emotion. She quickly placed the glass on the table and reached out to him. “No, no, Steven…”
“I’m sorry!” He shook his head and held onto her. They were wrapped around each other for a while, stewing in their own thoughts as Steven tried to find his voice again, his sobs turning into small hiccups.
“I-I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that.” He started. “I’m sorry about what the diamonds- what the diamonds did, and I’m sorry that you have to live with these nightmares.” His words fumbled over each other, but she could hear the grief behind them in volumes, and something inside her broke. Her grasp on the back of his pajamas firmed, which made him stiffen.
“You shouldn’t be sorry.” Even as a tear escaped the corner of her eye, she willed her voice to steady. “If anything it's me that has to apologize. White Diamond did all of that to you. It’s not like we could have done anything.” She mumbled something about wishing they could. “I… I just needed someone to talk to about all this. I’m tired of reliving that day. But I don’t want you to feel responsible for anything that happened, got it?”
She fumbled to say something more, but she could feel him relax in her arms, so something she said had to have soothed him. He slowly peeled away from her, wiping his nose with his sleeve. His eyes still looked watery.
“I wish there was something we could've done.” He echoed her thoughts. Steven stretched out his arms, letting out a yawn before sinking back into the cushions. Connie shuffled towards him, perching a foot on the couch and resting an arm on her knee.
There was a pause, neither knowing what to say first. “Sorry for getting snot all over your shoulder.” Steven spoke up.
She suddenly burst out in a chuckle, appreciating the attempt to raise the mood. “Hey, what are jam-buds for?” She smiled, before sighing and resting her head on his shoulder. “I felt so alone in that moment. Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet? They don’t remember what happened. Bismuth, Peridot and Lapis were coming, but they still felt miles away. If you hadn’t- if you didn’t come back, I didn’t know what I would do.”
Steven gave a sympathetic murmur, reaching out to hold her hand and giving a reassuring squeeze. “We’re here now. Things are getting better. Homeworld’s gotten better.”
“I know. I want to move on, but these dreams- they won’t stop coming back.” She ran her free hand through her hair again, nervous energy building. “I’ve always managed to move on once I thought about the problem for long enough, but this isn’t a problem. It’s a memory, and the more I think about the worse it gets.”
"That's how they all feel. But you just have to remind yourself that you're in a better place. We've come so far that these memories- that's all they really are, memories."
Connie sighed, burying herself further into his shoulder as she mulled on his words. She could feel him turn to look out the window, humming a soft tune under his breath. Ear pressed against his neck, she could hear its melody resonating within his throat, and she closed her eyes. It was chipper, hopeful, with a kind of warmth that made her heart flutter.
She slowly leaned away to look at him. “Thanks, Steven. And sorry for barging into your house like that. Especially at this time of morning.”
“Don’t be. What are jam-buds for?” She chuckled lightly, lifting her other leg up so she sat slightly cross-legged. “What were you doing up so late, anyways?” She asked.
“Oh, you know…” His eyes darted away, looking sheepish. “I couldn’t sleep well either, so I went to get some fresh air.”
Connie sighed, easily recognising the unease that came whenever he was hiding something. “Steven, I want you to tell me when something’s troubling you.” A hand moved to cup his cheek, gently coaxing him to look back at her. “We’re a team, remember?”
The boy leaned into her touch. “Sorry. Force of habit, I guess.” He smiled sadly and took in a breath, throat suddenly feeling dry. “It...I was dream-walking again.”
Connie frowned slightly, both from concern and from something that just clicked in her head.
“And you walked into my dream, didn’t you?” She felt her stomach drop. “Does that mean-”
“It wasn’t that bad!” He protested. “I could feel my gem still there, so it wasn’t like Dream-White-Diamond actually, y’know. I tried to wake up as soon as possible so I could get to you on Lion, but he warped away without me when I told him you were in trouble.”
“I…” She lifted a hand to cover her mouth. “Gosh. That’s still really messed up.”
Steven shrugged. “I can’t really help it. Dream-walking is still a power I’m getting the hang of.”
“Tough night for the both of us, then?”
“Yeah.”
Silence followed. Connie flexed her shoulders a little, feeling like something heavy had been lifted off them. Sneaking over wasn’t the worst idea after all. Even if this didn’t mean the end of her nightmares, it still felt better knowing she had someone who shared a lot of her own memories. Their experiences had shaped them as people. The future looked bright for now.
They looked up at each other again. Steven brought their attention to the bedsheet haphazardly thrown around them with a tilt of the head, mutely asking a question. Connie smiled in silent agreement. He flung it across their laps and lifted it upwards, the white encasing the two. The hours would only ever get colder until dawn came, and they were happy to curl up in each other’s warmth. The conversation moved on, leaning to lighter topics, talking about everything and nothing.
-------
“...I don’t really want to go home yet. Can I just stay here for a bit?”
“Of course. What about your mom and dad?”
She shrugged. “I’ll tell them I sneaked out. They’re used to the impromptu missions anyways, so it’s no use trying to cover up.”
Steven giggled. “You should sneak out more often then.”
“Hmm,” She smiled at the invitation, resting her forehead on his. She was going to make a further comment, but was distracted by the way his eyes twinkled under the dim lights, or that their noses just brushed against each other. His breath was warm, heavy from sleepiness, and smelled faintly of mint toothpaste. Her mind raced for something to say, feeling her face grow hot.
He mumbled something about closing his eyes for a second, curling further into her. She couldn't really tell where her limbs ended and his began, tangled up in each other. Her arms felt too heavy to move, anyways.
She probably wouldn't be coming back home until later in the morning. She wondered what would make her parents more upset- sneaking out to fight a gem monster, or sneaking out to talk with a boy.
Despite herself, she snickered.
A small voice in the back of her head wondered where the rest of the Crystal Gems were. They were running their own project, Little Homeworld, on the outskirts of Beach City. Who's to say when a group of immortal beings would return to the house, when they didn't require rest or food? Could be weeks, could be an hour from now. Would they say anything about this?
Connie shut out the voice. She could worry about the questions, by family or gem, later.
Her vision grew drowsy, feeling his back rise and fall rhythmically. He must've fallen asleep by now. She blinked down at him. He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. All those days of dealing with intergalactic tribulations must have taken their toll on him- she couldn't remember the last time he looked so... unguarded. Something inside her swelled, a rush of protectiveness mingled with a kind of tranquility.
She hesitated, braving herself for a moment before brushing away a few locks of hair from his forehead, gently planting a small kiss right above his nose. She nestled her cheek back on his head, letting her eyelids flutter close.
"'Night, Steven."
The last thing she saw before oblivion was the scabbard and the old winter coat lying on the table, the last thing she felt was a shift before enveloped in a pair of arms. The rest of the night was dreamless.