Chapter Text
Mina is PISSED. Stupid Tetsutetsu Testsutestsu. (And stupid fucking name… yikes).
What the hell does a girl got to do to get the dense iron babe from class 1B to ask her out?? They’ve been talking and flirting for months and Mina is just really getting impatient. Sure, Mina could grab ‘im by the balls and do it herself… but they are TOO far into the flirting game for her to give in and lose.
And Mina is going to win this.
She currently sits in her room, at her desk, with the promises of ‘yeah I’ll do my homework’ and ‘raise my grades’ and ‘not be the class idiot’ hanging above her head as she ‘attempts’ math homework.
But screw that, her love life is too irritating and way up on the list of priorities. Besides, she’ll probably always be competing with Kaminari for 20th place in the class, so why bother trying to be ‘smart’ about it? The pencil in her hand now becomes useless anyway, as she unknowingly releases her acid quirk in annoyance and melts away.
Instead of grabbing a new pencil from her stash (because melting pencils is a daily occurrence), she decides to do some research that could actually benefit her. She types in to her phone “how do I get a stupid idiot to ask me out when obvious flirting doesn’t work?” Yeah, a bit wordy and specific, but apparently it’s not an uncommon predicament for many fed up girls to search.
To both her surprise (and lack thereof, to be honest), a word-for-word article pops up on a “Prime Dating Advice” website. Sounds promising.
Mina clicks on the article and begins skimming for useful information. Immediately ‘make him JEALOUS’ catches her eye. Jealous of what? Looks?? Abilities?
Mina shakes her head, Ok FOCUS Mina, and continues.
The ‘jealous’ portion of the article reads: ‘One of the easiest ways to get a guy to realize he likes you is to make him think he can’t have you. AKA. The Holy Grail: FAKE DATING! Pitting a guy against another guy ignites ‘man instincts’ and he’ll immediately want to fight to get you. Before long, the power of jealousy will make him yours. 10/10 success!”
Mina’s read enough and finds it a little too easy… too suspicious. Her ‘woman instincts’ tell her this sounds fake… but ok. Sounds sexist too, for both men and women. She puts her phone on her desk and throws herself on her bed face down, screaming into her pillow for a few long seconds. Too frustrating. Too complicated. But... Mina decides to indulge herself in the ‘what ifs’ anyways.
Who the hell would she even fake date and be convincing? Kaminari? Nah, he would just continue to flirt with everyone he sees, people would see right through it. Sero? Eh, nobody really cares about Sero, won’t make anyone jealous… Should she try a girl? Maybe Hagakare would play along, but Tetsutetsu is kind of dumb and wouldn’t notice. Would be funny to play with Tetsutetsu himself and ‘fake date’. One of those romantic tropes of ‘oh no they fake dated but really liked each other and dated in the end, happily ever after’… Fake dating TECHNICALLY wouldn’t count as Mina ‘losing’ the flirting game and caving first? It’s a fine line and she doesn’t know if it’ll work.
The whole ‘faking’ dating now sounds pretty stupid. No one she can think of would take her seriously enough to make Tetsutetsu jealous. That really was a dud article.
Mina sighs and rolls back over. Maybe she’ll go hangout with him. Tetsutetsu is probably done with his ‘I eat an embarrassing amount of spinach… and you don’t have to watch me eat it every day’. True. It did throw Mina for a loop the first few times, but Tetsutetsu is weirdly focused on eating and *just* engaged enough in conversation at the time for Mina to be as embarrassingly flirty as she wants.
*Over the top, teasing, flirty Mina “Is your fridge running?”
*Barely paying attention Tetsu “It’s broken?”
“Cause you been running through my mind all day”
“…Where am I going?”*
Yup, stupid and Mina loves it.
Just as Mina makes her way to sitting, deciding homework will be for homeroom tomorrow, she hears two rushed knocks, ‘I’m coming in’, and the door opening, revealing a flustered Kirishima.
“Hey Mina, ugh I need to tell you something important.” Kirishima doesn’t explain further and sits down on her bed.
“Hey, what is it?”
Kirishima doesn’t look at her and chews on his bottom lip. His brows furrow and he starts looking like he might retreat.
Mina continues, “Stop biting your lip, I swear one day you’ll bite it right off and will be another embarrassing scar story!” She grins and tries to joke to lighten the mood, but it kind of back fired as Kirishima starts to look more upset.
Oh. This really is serious.
“This is ‘red nail polish’ important conversation?” Kirishima just nods and Mina gets up to grab the polish and nail file.
Kirishima sometimes would go to Mina when he begins to feel insecure. She is the only one here who knows him from middle school. She never thought of him the way he saw himself back then, as a coward or that he wasn’t good enough to go to UA. But sometimes even now, he’ll start feeling the anxiety and it helps to talk it through before he begins to spiral. Mina will always listen, as many times as he needs to do this.
Bakugou knows of Kirishima’s struggle with doubting his abilities, and no matter how many times he tries to convince him otherwise, it still lingers. There’s an embarrassment, a weakness that Kirishima feels and doesn’t want to constantly remind Bakugou how insecure he can be.
Mina doesn’t believe that Bakugou would think any less of Kirishima for his fears.
Painting Kirishima’s nails helps both of them to focus on something else, making it easier for him to speak. Plus, at the end of it, he has kickass nails and it reminds him how far he’s come. It’s the bold choice he made to live life without regrets. Red is manly, just like his hair.
Mina sits down and picks up one of Kirishima’s hands, beginning to file them down. Before she even starts though, Kirishima takes a deep breath and blurts out,
“I think I’m in love.”
Oh. That is unexpected for their usual nail painting sessions, but Mina isn’t surprised that he is. It’s about time he brought it up.
She does her best to contain her excitement that they can finally talk about it and just simply finishes the sentence for him, “With Bakugou.”
Kirishima’s eyes snap to hers and his jaw drops, “HOW DID YOU KNOW??”
Omg he really can’t be serious? Those two are practically inseparable. Mina catches them all the time stealing glances at each other in class and checking each other out in training. They are so obvious about it too, as if they can’t help themselves. It’s cute and annoying at the same time.
Honestly? Everyone knows Kirishima is head over heels for the gremlin, who’s an exploding nightmare half the time. Well, everyone knows except Bakugou apparently. And as it currently seems, Kirishima didn’t know his own feelings either. Mina is pretty damn sure that Bakugou is also in love with Kirishima… but that ‘emotional wreck’ probably doesn’t even know himself. Boys are so dumb. Mina needs to get them together, that’s her new number one priority.
“Kirishima, you talk about him all the time and throw love eyes to him 24/7. How can I NOT know?”
“Shit. Am I that obvious?? Fuck, do you think he knows and is just ignoring it?” Kirishima has this really awful look of distress all over his face and Mina can’t stand it.
“NO! Of course he’s not just ignoring it! You KNOW he’s difficult with feelings Kirishima and probably wouldn’t even realize his own.” Mina can’t find it in her to just tell him that he’s so obvious that even Aizawa clearly knows.
So she softens the blow for now, “I only see it because I’m one of both yours and Bakugous best friends!”
Kirishima accepts the answer, “Oh. That makes sense. Pretty manly of you to watch out for your friends!”
Mina needs to know more details of their ‘manly friendship’ though.
She questions, “What were you two doing that has you so worked up right now?”
“We were just doing homework and…” Kirishima buries his face in his free hand and groans, “I don’t know! All he did was fucking SMILE at me and I thought I was going to die with how much my chest started hurting. All I wanted to do was kiss him.” Kirishima gives a big sigh and looks up at Mina, “That’s when all I could think of is ‘I love him’.”
Omg he’s such a dork. She takes the nail polish and begins painting.
Mina snorts a laugh, “And what? You just up and left to come here?”
“Ahh I mean yeah?”
Oh god, he’s so stupidly up in these feelings.
Mina needs to keep this going, this is as close as she’s gotten to maybe getting these two to finally get together. She’s been low key invested for months and watching them makes HER heart ache.
Mina starts, “Y’know, I really think he likes you too.”
Kirishima grimaces, “Please don’t say that—“
“I’m serious!! You know I wouldn’t just be toying with you.”
“I can’t get my hopes up, Mina. He’s my best friend and I don’t want these feelings if it means I ruin everything. I know that it’s manly to feel and accept your feelings… but I just want to bury these forever. Bakugou is so manly and only has one goal in mind: to be the number one hero and I don’t want to get in his way. I couldn’t handle him pushing me away.” Tears begin to surface in his eyes.
Mina says sternly, needing Kirishima to believe her, “Bakugou would never push you away. He wants you to be there with him by his side.” Kirishima should know that much, right?
Kirishima uses his arm to remove the beginnings of tears. He looks like he finally relaxes a bit and gives a small half smile, “I know. But you get what I’m saying?”
Mina just gives a small nod and inspects her work on his nails.
Mina would just tell him to just confess and get it over with… but it reminds her that she’d be such a hypocrite, considering her Tetsutetsu crush. Kirishima probably wants Bakugou to confess first. Might validate his feelings.
A light bulb goes off in Mina’s head. Jealously.
“KIRISHIMA!” Mina shouts too loud in excitement. “FAKE DATING!”
Kirishima jumps a little and looks at her completely confused. “I want to date him for real though? Bakugou would hate—“
“No! Listen, hear me out!” Ok, maybe trying out the article advice could work. “I read this really serious scientific article about how jealously can make people realize their feelings! That’s a feeling Bakugou could understand and recognize, right?”
“Uhhh I guess, but how—“
“Simple logic! Fake date someone else and they’ll realize they’ll want you when they ‘suddenly’ can’t have you!”
Kirishima just laughs, “Dude there’s no way that’ll work! No one would believe it”.
“They don’t really have to believe it for long, they just need to know their feelings!!”
“Sounds stupid.”
“Maybe? But it could finally get things moving!!! I know that Bakugou will confess when he gets totally jealous!”
Kirishima says quietly, almost as if he didn’t want even himself to hear it, “And if he does nothing? Nothing changes?”
The look of apprehension on Kirishima’s face makes Mina swear to all the forces in the universe that she is right about this; both the fake dating and Bakugou loving Kirishima.
“Well…” Mina sighs and looks away, “You know I can’t promise anything… I don’t know Bakugou nearly as much as you do. But if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be here, yeah?” She looks over and tries to be as encouraging as possible.
“Oh…” He looks as if he really just now considered it not working out… he’s such an idiot.
Mina continues. “You two can definitely still be best friends!” Ugh, what a stupid thing to say. But it looks like Kirishima needs to hear it, considering their friendship is what he treasures above all else.
Kirishima looks up with a light frown, “Maybe worth a shot then? What do I have to lose, I guess?”
“That’s the spirit!”
“Who the hell would I fake date though?? Kaminari?? He would just flirt with everyone and Bakugou wouldn’t even notice.”
Funny how they both said ‘Kaminari’ first… “That’s the worst choice. Fake date me!!!”
“Really?? Why—” Kirishima connects the dots and has the nerve to roll his eyes, “Is this about Tetsu? Mina seriously? I already told you that I think he likes you! He won’t shut up about you.”
“Yeah well, he hasn’t made a move yet! So how do you KNOW??
“He’s my bro…”
“But how to you really know?”
“I guess I could ask? It wouldn’t be manly to date you if he likes you”
“Nah, he’ll totally forgive you and find it hilarious! We can blame everything on Bakugou. And it would mean it’d be so easy for this to work!”
Kirishima raises an eyebrow and is clearly skeptical.
Ok, Mina needs to explain, “I want to make Tetsutetsu jealous and ask me out first, IF he really DOES like me!” He does, but Mina needs to convince Kirishima. This is all for his own sake really…
“So this fake dating would be a win-win for both of us?” Good, Kirishima is warming up to the idea.
“EXACTLY!” Mina can’t help but begin shaking with anticipation, “and with Bakugou knowing we knew each other before and you being Tetsutetsu’s friend, it’ll ‘seem’ plausible right?”
Mina caps the bottle of nail polish before she spills it and Kirishima looks down at her handiwork. Confidence, Kirishima.
Kirishima looks up with an excited smile, “Ok! Let’s try it then!”
He gets up off the bed and shakes his hands to try and dry the polish faster.
“Thanks Mina.” And he blinds her with a smile.
Mina lights up too, getting way too excited that this might work, “Of course! Anytime! AND tomorrow we’ll both have our boyfriends!”
Kirishima is getting up in the hype, “Hell yeah! Plus Ultra, right?”
Mina throws a fist in the air, “PLUS ULTRA!”
“Ok! Well I’m going to find Bakugou! He’s making me katsudon tonight!” Kirishima waves and steps out.
Bakugou making dinner just for the two of them? Kirishima is so dumb.
Oh well. By this time tomorrow, there would be no ‘fake’ in dating. Kirishima and Bakugou finally get together and end Mina’s suffering of seeing them pine. And Mina will get her man of steel.
Mina jumps off her bed, texts Tetsutetsu if he’s ready to hang out, and makes her way down to the common room to wait.
This is an absolute genius plan. Fool proof.
What could go wrong?