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The low, constant chatter of the men was surprisingly soothing to Steve Rogers as he walked through the makeshift camp. Every few feet he was stopped, either by someone needing medical attention or someone wanting to thank him. Because of this, it took over two hours to get to the other side of camp and the one person Steve wanted to make absolutely certain was okay.
To be honest, Steve hadn’t gone into that HYDRA base looking for the huge group of Allied POWs he’d come out with. He’d gone in to find and bring home his best friend, the one guy he could count on to have his back.
And now, Steve thought, glancing down at himself. I can always have his back too.
By the time he reached the tent Bucky had claimed for himself (not that the other men were complaining – Bucky was the only one who’d come out of whatever horror show HYDRA had killed other men with), the chatter was starting to die down as men ducked into their tents to get some rest. Bucky had set himself up on the very edge of camp, as far away from the big fire and huge cluster of tents as possible, while still being within the limits of the patrol. Steve felt a slight twinge of worry at that – Bucky had always been the more social of the two of them, so it seemed unusual that his friend wouldn’t want to be in the middle of everything. But to be fair, his friend had been through a lot, so maybe it wasn’t too surprising that he wanted a little peace and quiet.
When Steve reached the solitary tent, he hesitated outside. Bucky had been silent for nearly the entire march so far, only answering direct questions from anyone who wasn’t his friend. And even with Steve, he’d hardly carried on a conversation, just asked a few questions about the serum and such and then nodded curtly and fallen silent again. Maybe he wouldn’t want to talk? Maybe Steve should just leave him alone? The super soldier was about to turn and walk away when a familiar voice rang out from inside the tent.
“You gonna stand out there for the rest of the night, or are you comin’ in?” Steve let a smile tug up the sides of his mouth as he ducked through the flap and into the tent. Bucky was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, simply watching as Steve entered. Steve was pleased to note a small smile on his friend’s mouth, and let his own smile widen in return.
“Wasn’t sure you wanted company,” Steve admitted. Bucky snorted and rolled his eyes.
“Like I was gonna make you leave,” he replied. Steve let his eyes flick over his friend. While he looked okay, Steve could see something dark flickering behind his eyes, a shadow of something horrible.
“How’re you feeling Buck?” he asked gently. Bucky rolled his eyes again and turned to unroll the blankets he had apparently commandeered for a bed.
“Just peachy,” he replied, his voice dripping sarcasm. It was Steve’s turn to roll his eyes.
“I’m serious Bucky, do you need any medical help? Some of the other guys said that where you went, no one came back from, so…” Steve just trailed off, unsure where he was going with that train of thought. Bucky glanced at him over his shoulder.
“So you’re wondering if it was physical or mental torture that they used?” he asked flatly. Steve winced at the tone as Bucky turned back to his blankets.
“It’s fine Steve. I’m fine. They’ll poke and prod me to hell and back when we get back to camp, so I may as well save myself for that.” Bucky sounded angry, bitter even, and Steve felt compelled to gently rest a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“Hey, if you don’t want it to happen, I’ll kick up enough of a fuss that it won’t,” Steve said firmly. Bucky snorted again.
“Who the hell would be stupid enough to listen to you?” he teased looking up at Steve with a slight grin. Steve grinned back.
“Well I am Captain America,” Steve pointed out, taking his hand off Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky stood up, frowning slightly as his eyes raked over Steve’s body.
“Yeah, about that,” Bucky said slowly. “Why exactly did you agree to an experimental drug treatment that could have killed you? Or turned into tall, red, and scary from back there?”
“I just wanted to be able to help,” Steve said honestly. Bucky huffed in annoyance.
“Yeah I get that Steve, but risking your damn life on something that might work doesn’t seem like the best plan to me. Just like risking your life to save a few men is just a flat-out shitty plan,” Bucky practically growled, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing around the tent as his jaw clenched and unclenched repeatedly. Steve knew Bucky better than anyone, and knew that he was refusing to meet his best friend’s eyes because he was genuinely upset about this. So Steve waited until Bucky had locked eyes with him again before speaking.
“I didn’t go in there to rescue a few men, that was just a bonus. I went in there to rescue one.”
For a minute, Bucky just gaped at him. Then, much to Steve’s surprise, he suddenly lunged forward and punched the super soldier in the face.
“You idiot!” Bucky nearly roared, only just managing to keep his voice down. “You stupid, stupid son of a bitch, you could have fucking died Steve! Did you consider that when you concocted this grand plan of yours? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, you can’t just run headfirst into fights out here Steve. This isn’t a back alley in Brooklyn, this is a goddamn war, and I’ll be dammed if you die on my watch or on my account.”
By the end of his little rant, Bucky’s eyes were blazing. Steve cradled his aching jaw as Bucky shook out his knuckles, wincing slightly as he glanced down to examine them for injuries. When he glanced back up at his friend, he looked guilty, like he really did feel bad for the punch. He stepped closer and tugged Steve’s hands away to look for himself. Steve couldn’t help but notice that Bucky’s eyes looked unusually wet, as if he were about to cry.
“Sorry about the punch,” Bucky mumbled. “Now your face is all swollen.” Steve shrugged nonchalantly, eyes flicking over Bucky’s face.
“It’s fine, any bruises or swelling should be gone by morning,” he replied quietly. “And I’m sorry too. Running in there was stupid, and I’m sorry I made you worry.” Bucky leaned back just enough for Steve to see his grin.
“Not sorry you did though?” Steve smirked back.
“Not at all. I got you back, didn’t I?” That seemed to sober Bucky up immediately, and he locked eyes with Steve for a moment before stepping back into his space and wrapping his arms around his friend. Steve was momentarily startled at the display of affection so soon after an enraged outburst, but he figured now was a bad time to confront Bucky, and instead just closed his arms around the other man and gently rested his chin on Bucky’s head.
“Thank you,” Bucky mumbled into Steve’s neck. “For getting me out of there and for not getting your fool self killed while doing it.”
“We both know I’d walk to China and back if it meant I could save you Buck,” Steve said in a quiet, serious tone. “You’re my best friend and all the family I have left. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Steve was slightly alarmed to notice Bucky was trembling in his arms. He gently rubbed his palms up and down his friend’s back, trying to soothe him. He heard a sniffle, and realized Bucky was crying. Terrifying as it was to see his normally cocksure friend trembling and sobbing from terror, exhaustion, gratitude, or some combination thereof, Steve did his best to stay clam and try to remind Bucky he was safe without actually saying anything. He had no idea how long they stood there, wrapped around each other, and he honestly didn’t care. Bucky needed this, and Steve was just happy he was there to offer comfort.
Eventually, Bucky let out a final sniffle and pulled back. His face and neck were pink with embarrassment, and he was staring fixedly at his shoes. Steve felt a flash of affection and concern at Bucky’s sudden shyness.
“You okay?” Steve asked kindly. Bucky nodded, still not looking up.
“Yeah. Thanks,” Bucky muttered back, the pink blush spreading over to his ears. Steve nodded, shifting his weight and considering leaving for the night, but the way Bucky continued to stare at the floor and was nervously fiddling with his hands stopped him. Bucky was usually relaxed about everything, including affection between the two of them. They’d been friends forever, so they were usually completely comfortable around each other. But tonight, Bucky seemed anxious and unsure, as if he wasn’t comfortable in his own skin.
“Do you want me to stay?” Steve blurted out before he thought better of it. When Bucky glanced up at him in surprise, Steve hastily tried to backtrack.
“I mean, I thought you might want something familiar around, but if you don’t, that’s totally fine, I’ll just go. Now. Right now. Yep. Goodnight,” Steve stuttered out, stepping back so quickly he actually tripped on his own feet a little. Bucky instinctively reached out to steady him, but quickly retracted his hand when he saw Steve hand regained his balance just fine on his own.
“Um, well, if you wanted to stay, I certainly wouldn’t mind,” Bucky admitted, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck as the pink blush deepened. Steve blinked in surprise.
“Yeah okay. More space in here anyway,” he tossed out, trying to sound casual. Bucky looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. Steve shrugged rather sheepishly.
“I’ll just go find a blanket and pillow for myself,” the super soldier said, though he made no motion to leave, hesitant to leave while Bucky was still such a mess. Bucky glanced back at the pile of blankets on the ground.
“Well I do actually have some, if you don’t mind sharing,” he said, looking over at Steve. The blond nodded.
“I don’t care as long as you don’t,” Steve said honestly.
“Would I have offered if I cared?” Bucky pointed out as he began stripping out of unnecessary layers. Steve turned his back and began to do the same.
“Good point,” he said as he finished folding up the outer parts of his frankly ridiculous costume and turned back to find Bucky slipping under the blankets. He stepped over and slid under the fairly scratchy blanket beside his best friend. After a great deal of shifting around and trying to stay on top of the folded up ‘bed’ of blankets beneath them while sharing a blanket draped across the two of them, Bucky finally huffed in irritation.
“Steve, don’t freak out okay?” he said in a warning voice.
“What would I freak – oh,” Steve replied, confused until Bucky moved right up next to him, pressing their sides together.
“Sorry,” Bucky said. “I just figured it was the best way to share the blanket. Plus you’re warm as hell.” Steve laughed at the comment Bucky threw in at the end, shaking his head as he stared up towards the ceiling of the tent.
“It’s fine Buck. Like I said before, I don’t care.” There was a long pause before Bucky sighed.
“Goodnight Steve.”
“Night Buck.”
And if, when they woke up the next morning, Steve’s arms were wrapped around Bucky, and Steve nuzzled his nose into Bucky’s hair and gently tickled his sides until the other man woke up and rolled over to rest his forehead on Steve’s and gently bump their noses together, well that’s nobody’s business but their own.