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The truth is this: Runner Five has feelings for Sam Yao. They don’t dare call it love, but only because they're lying to themselves.
Five's realization emerged over the long, arduous hours during which Sam was their only connection back to humanity. The mission that forced Five to consider the possibility of dying… was the same one when Sam forced himself to stay up all night, hoping beyond hope that he’d see the runner’s face again. Spilling his guts over the comm, Sam had, perhaps without realizing, given Five some serious insight into his character. For one, of course, he struggled- with sanity, and normalcy, and simply being alive- just as everyone who survived the outbreak did. But despite everything, he still had the strength to crack his stupid jokes, and the optimism he radiated was just so… refreshing to be around. Five remembers the deep-rooted feeling of admiration that had bubbled up from within them; bringing to the surface other, more confusing emotions. They had always appreciated Sam as much as anyone else at Abel, but then. Somehow, at some point- he had become their lifeline.
Following their safe return back to Abel, Runner Five didn't know what to do with their newfound feelings for Sam. Frankly, Five rejected the idea of telling him the truth almost immediately. Considering the state of the world, the circumstances were… strenuous, to say the least. They simply couldn't afford to have emotional setbacks, and when the thought of getting rejected was enough to make Five wince… it just wasn't worth the risk. Besides, Five’s current dynamic with Sam was light-hearted and endlessly playful. Having him as a friend allowed Five to loosen up once in a while, which sometimes felt impossible in a Township that was so reliant on runners for their continued survival. Nearly everything in Five’s life came with high stakes, but when it came to Sam… they could let go, if only momentarily. Five was desperate not to complicate their relationship, so they firmly pushed their feelings to the back of their mind. Without question, a bit of internal struggle was more than worth Sam's continued friendship.
For a while, Five's plan worked out fine. They hung out with Sam as often as they were able; meeting up for meals, finding him up in the comms shack to have late-night conversations, or simply spending time with him to unwind after a stressful day. There’s one particular instance Five remembers fondly: Sam had come up with a ridiculous plan for pranking Jack and Eugene, and insisted Five play the accomplice. Childish and stupid as it was, it was also the most fun Five had had in a while, and the belly-aching laughter that followed left the runner sore until the next day.
And, well. If Runner Five took special care to commit Sam's laugh to memory, that was neither here nor there.
~~~
Maxine Myers has had it up to here with her hospital assistants. As one of the only certified doctors at Abel Township, she understood that the untrained civilians of the base would struggle working under such a specialized field. However, it was important work, and it needed to get done. Unfortunately sometimes at the risk of human error.
At the moment, a late-night pharmacy volunteer stood in front of her, a nervous and apologetic look on his face. Due to a mix-up in inventory, the hospital was running dangerously low on their stock of antidepressants, and the Township was completely blindsided.
Rubbing her temples in an attempt to quell the headache forming behind her eyes, Maxine sighs. "We have to address this immediately. Please get me Runner Five, tell them it's urgent."
"O-of course, doctor." The man looks like he couldn't be more relieved to escape from under Maxine's reproachful gaze.
Twelve minutes later Runner Five is standing at attention in front of the doctor, getting a rundown on the situation.
"This is an urgent issue, Five. Missing even one dose can have immediate effects for someone reliant on antidepressants. I can't take any chances by allowing our stock to run out."
Five gives a decisive nod. "Of course. Whenever you need me to go, just make the call."
"Can you be ready in an hour?"
“Consider it done.”
~~~
Five swiftly prepares a small pack for the mission, making sure to include only the most crucial items: A few water bottles, a couple of ration bars, a map, and a minimal first aid kit. Before heading out, they make sure to grab what might be their most vital piece of equipment- their loyal machete. They grip the weapon in their hand, just feeling the reassuring weight of it and taking note of the slight weathering on the hilt’s leather padding. Luckily Five hasn't had to use the weapon many times in the past, but it gives the runner a much appreciated sense of security to carry it nonetheless.
Bag slung over their shoulder and weapon tucked away at their hip, Five begins the walk towards Abel’s gates. Just as they start to pull their headset over their ears, they spot Sam approaching from the nearby comms shack. He looks a bit apprehensive as he approaches, and Five can't help the concern that runs through them at his expression. Setting the headset around their neck, Five turns to face Sam head-on.
Once he's close enough to speak, Sam rubs the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "Hey, Five... you sure you're up for this mission?"
Ah, so that’s it. Five gives him a reassuring smile. "I'm just retrieving some supplies. It shouldn't be too hard to pull off."
"Yeah, well. We try to avoid the abandoned pharmacy for a reason. Between the level of zombie activity over there, and the fact that you won't have any backup… I don't know, it seems kinda crazy that Janine would even approve this." Sam looks genuinely exasperated.
Five hums in understanding. "I get that, but... it doesn’t seem like we have much of a choice here. Yeah, it's bad timing with the other runners currently out on other missions, but this is really important."
Sam’s brows furrow in apparent frustration. "You're important too, Five."
This gives Five pause, a thoughtful look taking over their features. "...I know. I'll be careful. And besides, nothing can touch me when I’ve got you chattering in my ear."
Sam relents with a small grin. “Yeah, you’re probably right. No zombie would want to get within a hundred foot radius of my nagging.”
Five chuckles and pulls Sam into a warm hug that lingers for a short moment. They pull away a bit reluctantly, and try to cover it up by giving Sam a quick smile and a two-fingered salute. “See you on the field.”
Oblivious to Five's struggle, Sam watches as they jog away, wishing he was as confident in his own abilities as Five seemed to be.
~~~
Sam was pretty well settled into what he called his "designated driver's" seat up in the comms shack, and despite his previous hangups, he was actually starting to feel a bit better about this run. The mission had been going smoothly thus far, with still no sign of the undead (Sam impulsively has to touch wood for that thought), and he and Five had been exchanging banter for the better part of an hour. That alone tended to work wonders on Sam’s mood, and now was no exception.
"You know, Five, maybe I just don't get it because I'm British, but… I get the distinct impression that the only people who would enjoy butter pecan ice cream are senior citizens."
“Hey now, don’t go disrespecting my favorite flavor.”
“Who said anything about disrespect? I just think you have bad taste.”
Five barks a laugh over the comm, indulging in an inside joke only they were aware of. Sam notes that the runner is getting close to the abandoned pharmacy- it should only be a minute or two now.
“Alright Sam, what's your favorite ice cream, then?”
“Rocky road, obviously.” He doesn't scoff, but it's a close thing.
“... I wanted to be antagonistic, but that’s a good flavor, actually.”
Sam grins widely and holds back from rubbing his childish sense of victory in Five’s face. Focusing his attention back to the field cameras, he spots them approaching the target building.
“This is it, right Sam?”
“Yep. Looks like the windows have been boarded up. What about the front door?”
Footsteps, the clanging of metal against metal, and a short sigh. “It’s padlocked. I’d need a gun to get through this thing.”
“Or, you know. The key.”
“You see a welcome mat I can check under?” Sam’s lips twitch in a smile.
The camera feed shows a grainy image of Five approaching one of the boarded windows for inspection, pushing against the wood experimentally.
“The wood’s pretty weak, and it doesn’t seem like there’s any actual glass behind these, so I think I can smash them in with something.”
“Alright, be careful not to make too much noise, Five.”
“I know, I’ll do what I can.”
A moment later, Five has a large rock in hand and is leading their assault against the compromised barricade. The pounding is louder than Sam would prefer, and it puts him a little on edge, so he keeps extra vigilant as Five finishes breaking through the wood.
~~~
Five huffs out a breath and wipes the sweat clinging to their forehead before climbing through the makeshift entrance, landing inside a musty and frankly depressing looking room. The entire building is honestly a little decrepit, and the lack of proper lighting didn't help its case. Five closes a hand over their mouth to avoid breathing in dust, noting that all of the rooms on this floor are missing their doors.
A subtle static noise relays through the headset as Sam speaks up. “Huh. Been a while since I’ve seen the work of door bandits.”
Five's voice is a bit muffled from behind their hand. “People try to use them as shields, right? It seems totally impractical, though. What kind of a person can carry around an entire door?”
“You're asking me?”
Suddenly remembering the task at hand, Five starts to search every cluttered cabinet and drawer in sight for antidepressants. They make quick work of sweeping the first floor, but with no sign of their prize, they move on. Five climbs the stairs to the second floor. Unlike the first floor, this one has multiple closed off rooms, all of which Runner Five listens by intently before opening and confirming the area as zombie-free. One room down the hall looks to be a storage space, which is definitely promising. Five decides to start there.
Walking in, Five's first observation of the room is that it's small, maybe just a little wider than their wingspan. The place feels especially cramped because of the shelving shoved by the walls and into corners; the whole place cluttered with prescription drugs, medical supplies, and scattered paperwork. Five wastes no time in opening drawers, rifling through boxes, reading labels. They're making an even bigger mess of the place, but eventually, in a nearly-empty drawer close to the floor, Five finds the antidepressants. They’re slipping their backpack to the floor when Sam inhales sharply over the comm.
“Dammit, watch out, Five. There’s a small horde headed towards the pharmacy now- you’ve gotta get out of there.”
Five, now buzzing with tension, forces open the zipper of their pack and starts cramming in as much of the medicine as they can.
"Five!"
The runner snaps, "I'm working on it, Sam!" Five fumbles with the zipper in their rush to close the bag, finally securing its contents and jumping to their feet. Their footsteps land heavily as they sprint back to the staircase, getting halfway down before-
"Shit, they're right at the window!"
Sure enough, the second Five reaches ground level, a zomb is suddenly forcing its rotting face in through the window. Its neck snaps towards Five, and at the sight of a live human, the corpse begins dragging itself through the opening with inspired fervor.
"Fuck-"
Five turns sharply back in the direction they came, taking the stairs two at a time. At this point a couple of the zombs have successfully made their way inside, and Five's nose scrunches up at the scent of rot. There's no clear way to escape from the second floor, so Five's only option is to hide. Running into the nearest room, they slam the door closed and lock it all in one swift motion.
Now with a barrier between them and the zombs, Five leans their back to the door, allowing their body to drag down until their backside hits the floor. They off-handedly note how heavily they're panting, as if they hadn't realized before how much energy they were exerting.
"Christ, Five."
The relative quiet is short-lived as the creatures' haunting moans approach the door. Once the scratching starts, Five tenses up at the grating sound, but they know the zombs won't be able to get in, at least for now.
A few minutes pass. Five is more calm now, but in no less of a predicament then they were before. This room- their temporary residence- was devoid of any furniture, contributing to the abandoned feel of the place. At the very least, it's much larger than the storage room, so Five doesn't have to feel claustrophobic on top of everything else. Letting out a long breath, Five stands to approach the only object of interest in the room; a window, facing outwards towards the front of the building. Unlike those on the first floor, this window was still intact, glass and all. Peeking out, Five can see a small ledge that runs across the outside of the pharmacy building, distinguishing the two stories.
"You might be stuck up there a while, you know."
Five inhales sharply at that. "...I have supplies, but. I don't know if it's smart to try and wait them out, Sam."
"But what other option do you have? I mean, they're bound to get bored and leave eventually, right?"
“I-" A grimace overtakes the runner's features. "I don’t want to get stranded out here overnight, Sam. I really don’t.”
Five's tone is harsh, and Sam doesn't respond for a while. Five almost feels bad, but they know he understands the reason for it.
It's only when Five slides open the window that Sam speaks again.
"This is too reckless, Five."
"I'm not going to jump. There's a ledge out here that's a few inches wide. If I can get onto that, I should be able to lower myself to the next window frame, and-"
"I don't want you to-"
Not waiting for him to finish, Five shuffles to get their legs over the sill, settling into a seated position out the window. They have to duck their head under the upper part of the frame, and once they're relatively settled, Five leans forward as much as they dare to look down at the ground below.
It's not a devastating drop, they suppose. Definitely more height than they're comfortable with, but it could be worse. Focusing their attention back to the ledge, Five shifts their weight from the window, their feet skidding the side of the building as they use their arms to lower themselves over the small distance. Finally, both feet settle onto worn brick, but the surface feels unstable. For a moment, nothing happens. Then a shift, and it all crumbles. The support completely falls away from underneath them, and Five’s stomach drops. They make a last-ditch effort to latch onto the window, but it's an awkward angle, and their grip isn’t strong enough to bear the weight.
Within the space of a blink, reality comes crashing in. They're free falling, the wind rushing up almost as quickly as the ground. Five can barely breathe but they're scrambling in their head nonetheless to figure out how not to completely shatter their legs upon impact and-
It's a little hard to tell what their body is doing when the force finally does come. They try to roll forward, that much they're aware of- shifting the weight from their legs as they make landfall. An arm flies out to protect their face, which is suddenly way too close to the ground and then- everything is black.
~~~
...
...
“Five!”
...
“-up, I swear to-”
“Wake up, Five!”
Five slowly came to the realization that Sam had been yelling himself absolutely hoarse over the comm ...just how long had they been out? The steady ringing in their ears was making it hard to focus, and they make a stilted attempt at standing, just to end up almost immediately back on their ass. Five’s head was pounding aggressively, and they were pretty sure their left arm was broken, but the pain was suddenly overpowered by a sharp sense of danger, a deathly-gray figure making itself known in their peripheral, already much MUCH too close-
Five sucks in a breath through gritted teeth as fight-or-flight instincts take over. Before they can even process the movement, their machete is out of its sheath and mid-swing. The desperate attack catches the zombie in the throat- somehow- and Five has to tug back on the weapon to prevent it from going down with its victim. With that one out of the way, Five can clearly see a small horde of zombies approaching. They're not moving very quickly, but they're still too close for comfort, and Five isn’t keen on taking any more gambles today, so within a second they're on their feet and pounding the pavement back in the direction of Abel Township, injured arm cradled close to their chest.
Once they put about a half mile between themselves and immediate danger, the adrenaline begins to level off, and Five starts to become aware of Sam’s commentary once more.
“...dammit Five, talk to me. Tell me you’re okay.”
Five fumbles with the mic after realizing it must have gotten switched off in the fall. For a moment after turning it on, they could do little more than pant heavily over the comm. “I’m- I’m okay, Sam. I’ll have to get checked over for injuries, but the zombs didn’t touch me.”
Sam’s sigh of relief sounded like one that had been pent up for hours rather than just minutes. “You really scared me back there…” Exhaustion was prevalent in his voice. "It looked way too close on camera, so I couldn’t tell exactly what happened. I see you holding your arm, though. Is it broken?"
"Maybe. Probably.” Sam lets out a groan underlined with stress, and Five is practically tripping over themselves to think of a way to reassure him, but honestly, they knew they were at fault for causing this mess in the first place. “I'm sorry." For being an idiot. "For scaring you. I promise I'll be fine. I'm gonna turn off the mic for a bit, I need to save my breath to get back to Abel as quickly as possible." Without waiting for an answer, Five switches off the mic and sighs heavily. A wry, self-deprecating smile takes over their face. Zombies aren't the only things I run from, huh?
~~~
Within thirty seconds of the gates closing behind them, Runner Five is whisked to the hospital by Dr. Myers for confirmation that they haven't been bitten and to tend to any sustained injuries. And approximately two hours after that, Five is being released with temporary suspension from the mission roster, their left arm in a sling, and a concussion diagnosis. It was a bit of a miracle that Five's legs were relatively uninjured, but the doctor hypothesized that most of the force was transferred to Five's head and arm- a necessary tradeoff in the moment, they supposed. Nevertheless, Dr. Myers insisted that they take it easy for the next few weeks to allow for proper healing, which is completely reasonable, but Five is still annoyed that they had effectively put themselves out of commission for the time being. At the very least, the doctor had seemed exceedingly grateful as Five passed on the mission's vital medicine, so perhaps it wasn't a complete loss.
Finally cleared to return to their living quarters, Five makes their way outside at a leisurely pace. Shoving open the heavy front door, Five steps out into the crisp evening air. The sun was just beginning to set, and the reflective orange-blue hues stretching across the horizon had Five pausing for a moment to soak it all in. A shift to Five's right brings them out of their reverie, and a turn of their head reveals Sam leaning on the side of the hospital building. Five wonders vaguely how long he’s been waiting there. Regardless of the answer, they're relieved to see him.
“Hey, Five. Glad to see you on your feet.” Sam pushes himself from the wall and makes a somewhat aborted attempt to hug Five, holding himself back at the last second after thinking better of it.
“My arm’s not broken, surprisingly. The sling is for… bone bruising, according to Dr. Myers. Apparently that’s not as bad. So, if you’re careful, a hug should be okay.” Five really wanted a hug from Sam right about now, anyway.
Sam exhales, “Oh, good. Then-” He wastes no time in embracing Five, and they can only reciprocate with one arm, but even as banged up as they are, it still feels like a breath of fresh air. “I’m really glad you’re okay… relatively speaking.” Five can feel goosebumps forming on the spot where his breath brushes their neck, so the runner moves to put a bit of distance between them for the sake of keeping themselves in check. They offer Sam a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. I promised you I would be.”
Sam tries to smile at Five’s words, but something is clearly weighing heavily on his mind. "Listen, Five… this may not be the best timing, but I really need to talk to you about something."
Five is dead tired, but knows Sam has something important to say, or else he wouldn’t be pushing to talk about it now.
They give Sam a weary nod. “Comms shack, then?”
There’s a hint of breathlessness to his voice when he responds. “Yeah.”
They take a short walk together to the familiar building. After climbing the stairs, Sam opens the door to let Five in. They both settle on the comfiest piece of furniture in the room; a small cot that Sam likes to crash on during his especially late nights at the radio. Five feels their weight sink into the mattress a bit, and suddenly they’re reminded of the many conversations they’ve had here with Sam before.
The man in question seems restless, his body practically buzzing with apprehension. Five is tempted to break the silence, but they wait.
When Sam finally does speak, it's in a rush, as if he can't get the words out quickly enough. "Look- Five, I- I like you. I mean- of course I like you. But I mean like, like like, you know?”
On any other day, Sam’s fumbling would be endearing. But right now this concussion was not doing Five any favors, and his rapid-fire words were starting to run together in a confusing way. Because Five was pretty sure they had heard that wrong. “Sorry… run that by me again.”
Sam looks visibly frustrated as he tries to pull himself together. He seems to muster up his courage from somewhere, looking Five decidedly in the face. “I- have feelings for you, Five.”
Five blinks. “...Oh.” Their mind is running a blank, but Sam seems to take it upon himself to talk enough for the both of them.
“I'm sorry- it's okay if you don't feel the same way, just- say the word and we can forget I ever said anything. I don't want this to ruin the friendship that we have, I just…” Sam forcibly sucks in a breath. A pained expression pulls at his features. “I just had to tell you the truth. Because I almost lost you out there today. Again.” He rubs a hand over his face and looks off into a distant corner of the room. “...The thought of losing you scares me so much.”
It’s a lot, and Runner Five takes a long moment to soak in his words. Then they nod in understanding, regarding both what has been said and now what needs to be said.
"Sam ...I'm sorry I put myself in danger the way I did. And I promise I’ll try to be more careful in the future, but... I’m a runner. I’m going to be at risk no matter how careful I am.”
Sam looks back towards Five, a resigned little smile on his face. "Yeah. I get that. Someone needs to do it, and you'd do anything to protect Abel. That's part of what makes you… you."
Five gives him what they hope is a reassuring smile. "But. As long as I have you guiding me through my missions, I'll have no choice but to make it through. Because I have something… someone I need to get home to."
Five sees more than hears Sam’s sharp intake of breath.
“I care about you too, Sam. A lot.”
Sam sputters out a shocked laugh, his face reddening. "You… feel the same way?"
Five's expression is soft. “Yeah, I do.”
Sam huffs out a nervous breath, and blurts without a second thought: “Five… will you go out with me?”
They know they shouldn't be, but Runner Five is taken aback. “You… want to date me?”
"Well, that's the point of confessions, isn't it?"
There's a long pause as Five seems to consider something, a distant look in their eyes.
"...Five?"
Runner Five blinks, breaks out into a smile, and… laughs. It wasn't their intention, but it suddenly just forced its way out of them and now they can't stop.
Sam’s embarrassment rises and he starts to stammer something out in his defensiveness, but Five holds out a hand to quiet him, trying to compose themselves enough to speak.
"No-no, I'm sorry Sam, I'm not laughing at you- I do want to go out with you, it's just-"
Inhale, exhale.
"It's just- so fucking stupid. That the world had to end for me to get a damn boyfriend."
Sam looks surprised, then skeptical. "Wait… are you saying you've never dated anyone before?"
“Ahh…” Suddenly Five’s the one shifting in embarrassment, and they divert their eyes. "…No. Never."
There’s a playful smirk on Sam’s face. "I would have thought you a hit with the ladies, Five."
Five can't hold back their cheesy smile and they elbow Sam playfully in the side. "Oh, shut up."
Sam chuckles, his smile impossibly bright. "But really, you're… kind of amazing. You telling me you've never dated kind of blows my mind."
Five visibly tries to fight their blush into submission. “I was never really… interested in dating. Before now.”
“So I'm special, huh.” It doesn’t come out as a question.
Five rolls their eyes, but they can’t conceal the underlying fondness. “Yeah, maybe."
Sam’s lips quirk in a smile. Then an idea crosses his mind, and he raises an eyebrow in inquiry.
“So… does that mean you've never kissed anyone before, either?”
Five jumps, red and indignant. “Now you're just assuming things!”
“Well, have you?”
Silence.
Sam’s teasing lilt fades and he gives Runner Five a more open expression, shifting closer. “May I…?”
As if on cue, Five's brain decides now is the perfect time to soak in every detail. For one, Five doesn't remember when Sam had gotten this close- his knee is bumping theirs, hand resting mere centimeters away and twitching like he wants so badly to reach out. His face… is close enough for Five to count each individual eyelash. Underneath them, Sam's dark eyes are staring intently at Five's face, flickering down to their lips for a split second before returning to their eyes.
Oh. Five's heart was suddenly pounding and, yeah, this was real life right now.
Runner Five gives a shaky nod.
Sam leans in to kiss Five, entirely closed-mouthed, but they still have to physically hold back a start at the initial contact. The first thing Five thinks is that Sam's lips are softer than they have any right to be, given the apocalypse's distinct lack of lip balm. But then said lips start to move, and Five's face burns as they scramble to reciprocate, eyes slipping shut. Without the visual input, all that's left is a distinct feeling of warmth and the slow, smooth drag of their kiss. Distantly, Five can feel Sam's hands rest on either side of their face, gently urging them closer. Finally, Five drains of all tension and leans into Sam completely, allowing themselves to get lost in the moment.
At some point, (how much later Five has no idea), Sam finally pulls back, just enough for there to be an audible smack when their lips separate, and Five swears their face is going to catch fire any second now. Their eyes open slowly and they lick their lips reflexively, wracking their brain for a proper response. "Uhm…." What the hell do you even say after something like this?
Sam's face was flushed, two inches away from theirs, and all Five could think to say was-
"...was that okay?" After letting that question slip, Five could practically hear the gears turning in Sam's head.
After a moment, his face morphs into a grin. “Hmm… I'm not sure, we might have to do that a couple more times before I can properly judge."
“Yeah?" Is all the runner says, but they tongue the inside of their mouth in contained amusement.
"Yeah." Sam's smile is wry and he starts to lean in once more to make good on his promise, but… his heart is too light, and Five’s shoulders are trembling, and suddenly they’re entirely too occupied with laughing themselves breathless to worry about anything else.