Work Text:
He was a strange one. It was as if he wasn't scared at all. Q didn't really understand it, and they couldn't help but be suspicious.
The boy was sunshine incarnate, always smiling brightly, responding to everyone politely. He had so many friends, and so many people who seemed to hold a special sort of respect for him despite his young age, born not out of fear or intimidation, but genuine kindness.
It was quite infuriating, really. They couldn't help but find it unfair. All they ever received from the world was scorn. Suffering. Hatred. Nobody respected them, not enough to give them the courtesy of using their real name, not enough to not look at them with open disdain. People feared them, sure. That could feel good, sometimes, but in the long run – it was dehumanizing.
However, they had grown used to it. They couldn't remember the last time someone treated them with anything else. In a twisted way, it was comforting. That was what they expected and knew how to react to.
Miyazawa Kenji was an outlier. He knew who Q was, he must have. After all, he worked with Dazai, who surely would have warned him, advised him to stay away. And yet, he didn't. He simply smiled and waved his hand. Introduced himself.
How curious. How unexpected. How...foolish.
He was smart enough to know not to touch them, but he still talked to them. They hardly responded until he addressed them directly.
'Whoa, you have really cool eyes!' he exclaimed, looking into their face from way up close. Because of the height difference between them, he had to lean forward quite a bit.
Q blinked. Their face felt slightly warm, God knows why, but they didn't want to let him notice. Instead, they just squinted and smiled up at him in what they hoped was an innocent way. 'Are they?' they asked sweetly. They hadn't had many chances to see their own eyes.
'Uh-huh!' Kenji nodded enthusiastically. 'You have stars in your eyes! Oh,' his face lit up with a sudden realisation, 'do you like stars?'
Q frowned. 'I haven't really looked at them.' It would be hard to look at the sky when one spent the past few years imprisoned in a basement. It was also near impossible to remember their life before then. It was a massive blur.
Kenji opened his mouth. He clearly couldn't believe it. Obviously, he must have realised what that response meant, and Q would be grateful if they didn't have to explain it. The blond boy brought his finger up to his chin, deep in thought.
'Ah!' he said finally, pointing his finger up. 'Would you want to go stargazing with me tonight? I know a place that's really good for that!'
Q consisered the offer. They looked up at the sky, contemplating. Talking about the stars awakened a strange sense of longing in them. As if Kenji managed to tap into the nostalgia they weren't even aware of. Yes, there were stars in their eyes – and those eyes longed for the sight of the real starry sky. After so many years spent in isolation, unable to see the world.
Yes, they wanted to see the stars.
That was why, a few hours after that conversation, as darkness fell and the colour of the sky changed from light blue, to pink during the sunset, and now was slowly becoming navy blue – they waited in the hiding spot they and Kenji agreed on.
They wondered if the boy was going to tell Dazai about their playdate. Presumably, he had to explain why he was going out so late, but Q hoped that he would have enough brains not to mention them. Then again, what if that would get him in trouble? They wouldn't be surprised.
Well, he had it coming for associating with them, a cursed child.
'Sorry I'm late!' his voice suddenly breathed next to them. He must have been running to make it. He clapped his hands cheerfully. 'I'm so glad you came! Are you excited?'
Q nodded. A surprisingly sincere smile appeared on their face. 'Let's have fun, huh?' For once, those words weren't sinister coming from them.
Kenji nodded back. 'It's going to be really dark soon. Would you want to,' he reached out his hand reluctantly, 'hold hands? Just so you don't get lost!'
Q hesitated. They weren't used to physical touch that didn't result in injury. The razors attached to their arms made it near impossible to touch anyone without being hurt. They had taken them off, just for the night, so the danger was gone – and yet, they still weren't sure about it. Finally, they took his hand. They felt him squeeze it gently.
'Let's go,' he said cheeerfully, taking a step forward. Q followed him, trying to keep up with his much bigger steps.
It was quite a long walk. Eventually, they reached the spot he was talking about. It was atop a small hill, which they climbed and finally sat down. Kenji let go of Q's hand – regrettably – and lied back, looking up at the sky. After a moment of hesitation, they joined him, looking right up as well.
The moon was beautiful that night. Clearly visible, it illuminated their faces. The stars were also starting to appear, uninterrupted by the city lights – the spot was luckily far enough from the centre.
Q stared ahead in awe. After being imprisoned for so long, they couldn't process how vast the universe was. Until recently, their world was just a few square feet. It was hard to believe there was so much space - and for once, they were allowed to experience it.
Their hand sought out Kenji's. They squeezed it gently – so gently that even they were surprised.
'Hey, do you know any constellations?' Kenji asked suddenly, glancing at them curiously.
Q shook their head, looking back at him. They never had the opportunity to learn.
'Look over there,' Kenji said, pointing right above their head. 'That's my favourite one.'
He continued talking, pointing at different clusters of stars. Q tried their best to follow both the directions of his finger and the explanations he was giving. They had never expected that learning would be so fun. They had never experienced it before.
Their eyes wandered onto his face while he talked. A wide smile. His soft face lit up by the moonlight.
In his eyes, much like in their own, there were stars – reflections of the vast universe above them.