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pretty darlin'

Summary:

Levi is no stranger to longing, sure, one could even say they're partners of sorts. As a child, Levi had longed for his Mother to open her eyes after they lost their light and remained still; he had then longed for food, just the smallest morsel to fill his aching stomach; under Kenny's care, he had longed for an escape.

Standing in this heated crowd of people, looking at the kindly face of this rodeo cowboy, longing creeps its way into Levi's bloodstream once again. Perhaps, this is the first person he has truly felt interest in for years. Never has he needed to crash his lips against another man's quite like this. For as long as Levi can remember, he's always pushed his desires down, down. It ain't right - he knows that.

In this moment, Levi wonders, how wrong could it possibly be? How wrong is it that this ecstatic stranger is reaching for his heart with those beautiful calloused hands? Levi wants him to take it all, anything he wants.

"Can I get you a drink?"

Notes:

this is my entry for ereri week day five! the prompt is longing

ill be honest with you - i watched brokeback mountain recently and i can't stop thinking about those cowboys. so this fic was born

just a general warning! this fic deals with mentions of homophobia, internalised homophobia, very small mentions of homophobic attacks

a disclaimer as always, i don't support shipping minors and adults - both eren and levi are adults in this fic

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The rodeo has been going as always, Levi standing by with one firm hand grasping at his reins, the second resting against his mare's warm neck. Magnolia's fur always feels so silky, heated and grounding, the anticipation of yet another barrel race to win getting her blood pumping. She paws at the ground as the contestant before them completes their run and Levi snorts at hearing the time - he can do it in half that time, always does.

Being the last to run always feels like such a reward to Levi, he's watched every contestant before him, heard their times called. He knows he will win, the fastest time completed is seconds slower than Levi's own record - there's nothing in it.

It thrills him, his heart thunders in his chest, echoing the screams of the audience packed into the stands. He can almost feel the great wad of cash between his fingers, he and Magnolia will win first place, how can they not?

Magnolia snuffles against the back of Levi's neck, almost knocking the wide brimmed suede stetson right off his head. Grabbing at his hat, Levi turns to his mare and smirks at her, "You ready, gal? We'll show these amateurs how it's done.. They can bet on it."

Hearing his name being called, Levi lays his hand against her auburn flank affectionately, giving her a scratch just how she likes it. Finally, mounting Magnolia, Levi urges her onwards to the gate. It's the same routine as always, he looks out into the crowd of spectators, certain they haven't seen a barrel run like the one they're about to see.

He feels almost calm, the adrenaline underlying and so familiar as it rushes about in his veins, an old friend after all these years of surviving off rodeo to rodeo. Honing his concentration, the screams and cheers fade away, the only remaining sounds are his own heartbeat in his ears and Magnolia's steady breathing. They aren't two separate beings, not at this point, he feels her energy building - and then the gun sounds.

They're off.

Riding has always brought a sense of catharsis for Levi, it's a time where all he can think about is Magnolia and, by extension, himself. Everything just falls away and Levi focuses on feeling her muscles working beneath him, urging her onward with all he has.

Fast, fast! Even faster! That's it! They're through the gate and they gallop at the first barrel where it stands, so unassuming and still.

Dancing around the first barrel, Levi grins to himself, they don't even a stumble. They leave the first obstacle behind, standing upright - of course, when was the last time they suffered a time penalty? Magnolia shoots across the sand, flicking it around with her thundering hooves, possessed by her desire to work alongside Levi.

They take the second barrel as perfectly as the first, the sheer effort of his beautiful mare filling Levi's heart with a sense of giddy triumph before they've even completed the circuit. Where would he be without her?

Finally, they round the third barrel, leaving just enough space to be sure they don't make contact but keep the best time possible. Dipping his whole body close to Magnolia's neck, Levi pushes her onwards and they pelt towards the finish line.

Magnolia is a flash of lightning, her nose passing the gate with plenty of time to spare. As Levi rears her up and they come to a stop, he knows nobody in today's competition has beaten their time - it simply can't be done. A grin plastered across his face, Levi pats her muscled neck from where he sits atop his saddle.

Their time is called and Levi isn't even surprised, they're way in front of the other entrants. They won, the crowd screams and Levi dismounts. Just in a day's work, another day alongside his prized mare. Magnolia looks at Levi with her glossy hazel eyes, sand caught up in her long eyelashes and his heart squeezes in his chest.

"You did so well," he soothes, petting her red forelock with all the love he can muster. "My gal, you're the only one for me, don't forget it!"

[o-O-o]

The pub is crawling with people, they spill out of the doors and sit upon hay bales outside, nursing drinks and rough housing with their friends. It's not Levi's place, never has been.

As he enters, though, he spots Hanji instantly, hanging off Erwin's large frame at the bar. Of course, they're already pissed out of their mind. Catching his eyes across the packed room, Erwin's arm shoots up in a wave, mouth stretching into a smile so smug, Levi can feel the emotion tumbling off the blonde in waves from where he stands.

"Levi!" Hanji calls, their head looks much too heavy as they lift it from Erwin's chest, however, their smile is lopsided and unperturbed. "Here comes my winnin' cowboy! Drinks are on me!"

A smile reaching Levi's lips, he pushes his way through the crowds, his small frame getting all but swallowed in the mass of bodies. He only gets about halfway, however, before a hand catches onto one of his belt loops. Surely this can't mean anything good, instantly, Levi's self defence instinct rears its ugly head.

Fists balling, Levi readies himself for a brawl, the knife in his left boot burns cold against his skin. His trademark gunmetal glare twists his features as Levi whips around to see the perpetrator.

Tugging at his waistband is a young man, long hair falling about his sculpted face in a chestnut curtain - not what Levi expected. Sure, he looks like he could be dangerous if he meant trouble, but the expression on his face speaks otherwise. He looks dopey, shock registering slowly at Levi's murderous look. The fingers hooked on his waistband are quickly removed, held aloft in a surrender. They're big, weathered; his skin a deep healthy tan; surely, he is a ranch hand.

"You won today's barrel race!"

The man's voice is energitic as he talks to Levi, his initial shock melting away into a roguish smile that reveals crooked teeth. A faint scent of alcohol clings to his breath and Levi reluctantly forgives his earlier grabbing - he's clearly far enough gone that social barriers are lost to him. Absolutely harmless, the stranger's eyes shine in the dull bar lighting, a green found so rarely out in the dry Summer.

"I ain't never seen a cowboy like you before!" As he speaks, his face reminds Levi of a child, expressive and transparent, "Now, if I could ride like that I wouldn't be stuck fightin' with those broncos! No, Sir!"

The anger and borderline fear leaves Levi's body, the tension in his shoulders releases and he shakes out his hands, he's fine. This man isn't a threat in the slightest, he's not looking for a fight. His breathing steadying, Levi takes a moment to recover - act normal, you're not in danger.

Forcing a somewhat inviting expression to his face, Levi tries to match the man's energy. He's complimenting Levi, he's extending kindness. It's safe, this stranger is safe. He's a bronc rider? He must have been at the rodeo himself, and Levi can't help but wonder if he won anything..

"You place in your event?" Levi responds, pulling the conversation away from the initial awkward praise.

Sure, Levi's won a lot of competitions, he's aware that he's good. That doesn't mean Levi will ever get used to hearing other people lay it on thick. He does what he needs to make enough cash for food, it's a simple as that. If he wasn't quick, if Magnolia wasn't so precise? Well, surely he would starve. Its survival, not talent.

Laughter, bright and untamed. Shaking his shaggy head, the man's smile only grows wider. His voice is smooth, golden with amusement when he replies, "Place? Never in my life! My sister can stay on longer than me!"

Levi can't help but smile in return, genuine pleasure tugging at his mouth. The easygoing expression on the stranger's face doesn't waver, and Levi feels captivated as the man tucks an escaped strand of hair behind his ear.

"Then why enter?" Levi asks, rising a single eyebrow in question. After being in the rodeo game so long, Levi has seen more than his fair share of men getting trampled by horses, broken bones and bodies flying from saddles. All that pain, to never win? "If you've no chance of placing, what's the point?"

"The point? It's the thrill, cowboy! The energy of a crowd screaming for you - hanging onto that bronco and thinking, 'Damn! Maybe this is the one where I stay on!'" he enthuses, sun darkened arms flailing about as he speaks, big gestures and an even bigger personality. "You ain't never felt that rush of being so close… but not quite! Only thing to do is try and try again, my Mamma never raised a quitter!"

Levi is no stranger to longing, sure, one could even say they're partners of sorts. As a child, Levi had longed for his Mother to open her eyes after they lost their light and remained still; he had then longed for food, just the smallest morsel to fill his aching stomach; under Kenny's care, he had longed for an escape.

Standing in this heated crowd of people, looking at the kindly face of this rodeo cowboy, longing creeps its way into Levi's bloodstream once again. Perhaps, this is the first person he has truly felt interest in for years. Never has he needed to crash his lips against another man's quite like this. For as long as Levi can remember, he's always pushed his desires down, down. It ain't right - he knows that.

In this moment, Levi wonders, how wrong could it possibly be? How wrong is it that this ecstatic stranger is reaching for his heart with those beautiful calloused hands? Levi wants him to take it all, anything he wants.

"Can I get you a drink?"

[o-O-o]

The evening passes by, Hanji and Erwin creeping away without so much as sharing a single drink with Levi. Instead, he perches on a hay bale outside, watching his stranger's eyes reflecting the moonlight and holding onto every word he utters.

Eren is his name, in his late twenties; works his Father's ranch, then rodeos when he has the time. He started getting thrown about in fights as a kid after losing his Mamma, traded fists for hooves when he took up bronco riding a couple years back - admittedly he's only a novice, but he's determined to get better.

The admiration falls off him in balmy waves, his thoughts always tracking back to Levi. Praising him, showering him in compliments. Levi's mind reels, keeps his hands clamped around his pint glass despite his brain telling him to reach across and just touch. Eren's own hands keep up their constant gesturing, and Levi can't help but stare - he wants them on his body like never before.

He's tried it with girls, sure. Trying so hard to be like everyone else his age, Levi had pushed himself into the arms of his childhood sweetheart, Petra. He can still hear her too soft voice some nights, feel the ghost of her delicate skin beneath his palms - there was always something.. just so wrong.

After a while, Levi couldn't bare to look into her sweet eyes, always filled with an indescribable ache - Petra was always so aware of his pain, despite his efforts to mask it. It wasn't much longer before he just couldn't stick around in that town, she always deserved more than someone who couldn't love her in the way she needed.

It had been for the best that Levi left, good things would eventually find him and end his solitary years, he assured himself that his time for happiness would come. For a while Magnolia was his only companion, until his lucky break happened, Levi met Hanji and Erwin at one of his many rodeos.

Two queer companions, married to keep any suspicion away. One too many times did Levi hear the stories, men going missing and found beaten to a pulp. Kenny taught Levi to fight, sure. Certainly, though, those men could fight too - until they were faced with too many, filled to brimming with so much hate. Erwin, Hanji and Levi's kind have never been welcomed, maybe never will be.

Boarding with them was the best decision of Levi's life. They saved him - together they took away all of the fear and despair hollowing out Levi's chest, repairing his disused heart with affection and friendship. Erwin and Hanji understand him, and really, isn't to be truly understood more valuable than romantic love?

Romance is too risky anyway, too much fear involved for anything long term or serious. Erwin and Hanji have always been more than enough, their steady companionship was all Levi needed. Magnolia, too, kept him floating above the waves of loneliness, her whisky gold eyes assuring him that she wouldn't let him drown.

A couple of lucky fucks here and there have gotten Levi through so far - why would he ever go looking for something dangerous and unnecessary like romantic attachments. He was never someone who could make choices to put himself or, more importantly, other people in harm's way.

Now, Eren? He could be something serious. Levi wouldn't care for the risk if he could hold this man through the night, breathing the same air and their bodies sharing warmth. Or maybe that's just the alcohol talking? Fuck, is Eren even interested like that? No, surely not, he's just friendly…

Levi looks to companion and he realises, somehow over the course of the night, Eren has managed to get closer and closer. Their thighs are pressed together as they sit on their hay bale, and Eren's booted foot has found itself tucked behind Levi's closest ankle.

Eren watches the sky, enjoying a moment of quiet for the first time since stopping Levi inside. His cheeks look luminous in the low light, blushed a rosy pink with alcohol. There's a blue tint of a bruise blossoming upon Eren's skin from today's rodeo, and Levi longs to press his lips to the mark. Eyes fixed on the stars, Eren looks as if he's never seen anything as captivating - the moon stares back, her pale light bathing everything with a glowing tenderness. Levi notes how Eren was looking at him in the same way, not only five minutes before.

Okay, maybe Eren is interested like that.. Despite the fact that he feels his usual inhibitions fading with his pleasant alcohol induced buzz, Levi can't help but realise how they must look to outside eyes. He takes a deep breath, what's he to do? Telling Eren to back down is the last thing he wants, but he cannot stay like this much longer - the beginnings of intimacy are so apparent, yet any progression is so unreachable in the public eye.

Eren's brow furrows, as if he's thinking in the same manner as Levi - something is definitely troubling him. A conflict plays upon his open features, eyes still fixed on the clear evening sky.

"I.. Well. I don't mean to be too forward," Eren starts, his voice is hushed, and Levi finds himself surprised Eren's energetic voice could even take that secretive tone. He swallows and Levi watches as his Adam's apple bobs - he desperately wants to touch his lips to that bare skin.

"If I'm wrong, you're welcome to throw that punch you had waiting for me earlier," Eren comments, tearing his gaze away from the stars and finally looking back to Levi.

There's a teasing look mixed up with an edge of uncertainty on Eren's face. He's so easy to read that it's almost comical, it's ever so endearing and Levi's heart reels with fondness. Almost certain that he knows what Eren will say next, Levi listens on with bated breath.

"You're the prettiest darlin' I've ever laid eyes on," Eren continues and instantly Levi's breath is completely knocked from his lungs. "I'm stayin' with a friend. It ain't too far from here… He's safe - Y'know, like us."

Levi stares at Eren, allowing his thoughts to catch up; Eren is interested, Eren said he was pretty. Levi replays that sentence over and over; he would trade anything to hear Eren say those words again. No, not even the whole sentence, just that one delicious word - Darlin'.

Clearing his throat and shaking off his badly masked adoration, Levi says the words he's been waiting to utter since laying eyes on Eren - "Well, lead the way, cowboy."

Eren's face splits in the most unabashed grin he's shown as of yet. Levi's heart skips in his chest, even faster than it pounds before a barrel run. This is so much better, Levi would take this over winning a wad of cash any day - Eren is priceless in this moment, a sparkling treasure Levi refuses to ever let go of.

Eren leaves the pub first, walking slowly in the direction of his temporary residence. Keeping at a safe distance behind, Levi follows the other man, anxious energy building in his body. Away from the bar, the town takes on a sleepy atmosphere. All the lights are off, shutters closed and nobody around. Levi has always been taught that it's never a bad idea to be cautious, no matter how unassuming his surrounds might seem.

The house is small, the porch quaint and housing an old rocking chair, complete with a dust caked blanket. Fishing a key out of his pocket, Eren unlocks the door, holding it open for Levi to enter first.

The two don't touch until they reach Eren's assigned room, but as soon as the door closes behind them the contact begins. It's like the floodgates have been opened, and Levi only wants to feel his skin against Eren's.

Kisses are rained down upon Levi, covering every inch of his face. Eren's hands are so large and gentle as they cup his jawline, holding him in place as he recieves the almost shy pecks. He's endlessly kind and tender in the way he touches, and Levi can't remember the last time he was handled with so much care; the affection is desperate and overflowing.

Eren is warm, unbelievably so. Everywhere he touches, he leaves thawing sunlight. Levi would allow Eren to devour him, burn him up with that ever present fire within his doting eyes.

Clothes are shed at some point, somehow, it all blurs in Levi's mind. Eren's bare body is as expected, his dark skin littered with so many bruises of varying shades. Upon seeing them, Levi just aches to add his own; sucking at the other man's skin, pressing his fingers into yielding flesh. He marks Eren as his own; cherry red reminders that they're together, if only for this night. Levi will linger on Eren's skin, and Eren on his own.

It's just as Levi could have hoped - a quiet affair, so as to not wake Eren's host; all gasps and sighs, drawn out sweetness yet still hungry and filled with longing. The closeness fills Levi's heart to brimming, nothing else could come as close to the thrill of barrel racing but this, nothing but Eren.

After both are satisfied and contented, they simply lay together. Eren rests his head in the crook of Levi's neck, their tired limbs tangle together and their minds sing a continuous a song of "closer... closer."

Kissing at his neck, Eren hums an obscure lullaby as his fingers continue their exploration of Levi's body. Its soothing, and Levi feels himself grow tired. He's completely sated and truly serene, as the minutes pass he only feels more comfortable in this strange bed.

Even as his eyes betray him, closing against his will, Levi forces them open. He hates to think he might be overstaying his welcome, even if he does feel much too contented to even entertain the thought of leaving this peaceful sanctuary. It wouldn't be the first time he's been kicked out before sunrise, and it most likely won't be the last.

He is about to ask if Eren needs him to leave, trying to ignore the way the other man holds him as if he's something precious. Eren beats him to the chase, however, his voice a low mumble against Levi's sweat damp skin, "Darlin', I don't think I've ever had a night as good as this.. You'll stay, won't ya'? Too late for bein' out alone."

Levis chest swells with Eren's question, his breaths getting caught up in his throat. His whole body aches, he doesn't want to go where Eren isn't - not ever. Though, he cannot leech off Eren's kindness, "It ain't a problem, I'm a big boy. Not to worry about it."

Eren shakes is head as he grunts unhappily, his retort is reassuring and firm, "I want you to stay, don't go, hm?"

The strangest feeling possesses Levi, a kind of melancholy weaving its way into his bones. He tries to remember the last time someone other than Erwin or Hanji treated him like this - he's wanted, Eren is asking him to stay. His eyes burn with emotion, although he is aware that it'll be over come morning, right now he feels devastated with fondness.

Levi's emotions mingle and create a storm, opposite ends of the spectrum clashing all because of Eren - affection alongside aching sadness, overwhelming happiness that leaves a bitterness. It's overwhelming to say the least, so Levi says nothing. He doesn't dare, lest his voice cracks and tears truly fall.

Instead, Levi lifts his hand to stroke at Eren's long hair. Burying his fingers in brown hair, Levi admires the Sun bleached highlights in the dark room. He hopes that this gesture will assure Eren that he's going nowhere, pulling his head closer to his heartbeat and holding him with a renewed urgency.

Just because this will be over come sunrise, doesn't mean that Levi can't fill his boots with as much adoration to last him until the next one night stand. It feels foolish to hope that he and Eren might meet again, might spend the night together once more.

Quietly and privately, Levi tends to that flickering flame of hope in his chest, his fingers carding through hair that smells of sweat and promise.

Notes:

yes, im aware that barrel racing is a women's sport but its such a levi sport, so let's pretend in this world guys barrel race too! and levi is very good at it!

the lullaby eren is singing in my head is kind of like little blossom by dolly parton

i hope this was enjoyable! thanks for reading!

you can read my other fic from this event here and my tumblr is here, finally this fic can be reblogged here! thanks!