Chapter Text
When Jayesh broke a string on his guitar with a loud twang, Kari looked up from the picture book she was reading to her toddlers. Jayesh stared at the string, then bent his head over the instrument with a sigh.
It had been a quiet evening in their apartment. Jayesh was home after a long mission in Old China, and Kari had done everything she could to keep things quiet and peaceful. Their children, Connor and Stephanie, 5 and 2, had been overjoyed to have their daddy home at last. They had spent the day following him around like a pair of shadows, showing him toys and drawings, and generally courting every drop of attention he would give them.
Kari was impatiently waiting for bedtime, when she would finally have him to herself. Something was wrong, she could tell. Jayesh thought he was so good at hiding things, but she knew him too well - the way his smile didn't quite reach capacity, the way the blue Light that sparkled in his eyes was barely visible, the way he busied himself with the children to avoid talking to her. She went through the motions of meals and making sure his gear was sent off for cleaning, but something was off. He didn't communicate, and Jayesh always talked to her. After a mission, he was usually so lonely for her, he didn't stop talking for hours.
"What's wrong?" she asked over the book.
Jayesh lifted his head with a quick smile, his teeth bright in his dark-skinned face. "Just wound the string too tight, is all." He began removing the broken string, his movements controlled and too careful.
Kari went on with the story, but her sense that something was wrong with her husband grew stronger.
When she reached the end, she closed it and said, "Bedtime for munchkins!"
Connor and Stephanie protested.
"Daddy will be here the rest of the week," Kari promised them. "You'll get to see him as much as you want. But he's very tired and it's bedtime for everyone."
She caught Jayesh's grateful look as she shepherded the two to bed. Connor went to bed with his ghost, Varan, and Stephanie snuggled up with a plush ghost, since they didn't know if she was a Guardian yet.
Then Kari went into the kitchen to put away the last of the dishes. It was an excuse to compose herself, really. Whatever her husband was hiding would probably wreck her life for a while, the way he'd so often done before.
"Traveler," she thought, leaning against the kitchen counter, "grant me extra Light. I can't do this alone."
The Traveler was a mechanical sphere the size of a small moon that floated above the Last Safe City. It emitted a power called Light that the Guardians drew upon for power to fight the enemies of humanity. It had also created the Ghosts, little robots with healing powers and the ability to resurrect their bonded Guardian.
Jayesh had been teaching Kari to reach out to the Traveler for extra Light. The machine - or entity - or whatever it was - responded to her request every time.
This time, her ghost, Neko, appeared at her shoulder. He wore a royal blue shell with a rampant lion across it - a Titan shell for a warlock's ghost. He swept her with a healing beam. It seemed to reach inside her, strengthening and settling her, giving her the resolve she needed to face the unknown.
"Thanks," she thought to Neko.
"Consider it a gift from the Traveler," he replied in her mind. She had had her ghost for more than a century, and their neural symbiosis was deep and strong. They shared thoughts and feelings, particularly strong feelings. And right now, she sensed his jealousy of Jayesh and concern about what he might be concealing.
"Don't," she thought, poking the jealousy. "You know I hate that."
Neko struggled to hide it from her. "I'm sorry, I know. It's just ... he's going to make you upset."
"Do you know what's up with him?"
"No. His ghost hasn't spoken to me since they got home."
Another bad sign. Jayesh's ghost, Phoenix, always told his brother Neko all the news. If they were both keeping quiet, something was definitely up. Kari tried to imagine what it might be, to prepare herself. Jayesh had been stationed in the outer planets? He'd been shot with a weapon of sorrow and had days to live? He'd accidentally murdered their fireteam?
Kari brushed her dyed purple hair into place and drew a deep breath. Then she went into the living room.
Jayesh was in the middle of adding a new string to his guitar and didn't look at her. Kari sat down on the sofa across from his chair. "So ... what's going on?"
"I'll tell you once we're in our room," he said, attention fixed on the string.
Kari waited, a sense of doom weighing on her. "Is someone dead?"
The corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. "No, nothing like that."
"Did you lose your Light again?"
"No."
"You're keeping quiet about something. I'm just going to assume the worst."
Jayesh finally met her gaze over the neck of his guitar. "Nobody is in danger and I'm fine, lovelight. I just ... have a decision to make."
Kari drew a breath and closed her eyes. "You're seeing another woman?"
"No!" This came with an incredulous laugh. "How could you even think that?"
She opened her eyes and found his attention entirely fixed on her now, earnest and anxious.
"You're acting so weird," Kari said. "And you won't tell me what's wrong."
Jayesh laid the guitar in its case, the string still flopping loose. Then he got up, crossed the living room in two strides, and took her hands. He pulled her to her feet and kissed her, both arms around her waist.
Kari sighed and leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. His kiss was tender, yet upset, conveying so much in just that simple touch. He whispered against her cheek, "I would never do that to you, lovelight. I promised." He tugged her toward their room. "Come on."
Kari allowed him to lead her into the bedroom, turning off the lights as they went. Once they were safely inside with the door shut, Jayesh kissed her again and seemed to drop his reserve. "Ugh, it's been a day. I've been dreading this."
"You've been dreading this?" Kari exclaimed, watching him begin to unbuckle his heavy combat robe. "You've been a wall of ice since you walked in the door. Did the Vex take the Traveler? Just tell me!"
Jayesh faced her and drew a deep breath. "Uh. Okay. First, the Vanguard wants to send our team to Ganymede."
"Ganymede?" Kari said, pressing a hand to her mouth. "What in the world?"
"There's been a lot of Fallen activity there, lately," Jayesh replied. "Especially down in the jungle valleys, where the Golden Age bone yards are. They want us to investigate."
Kari processed this. Not exactly wonderful news, but not terrible news, either. Not enough for him to close himself off the way he had. She scrutinized him as he pulled off his robe and hung it from a hook in the corner.
"That's not all, is it?" she said.
Jayesh stood with his back to her in his thermal undersuit. She saw him sigh. Then he reached into his robe's pocket, pulled out a folded sheet of paper, and held it out. Kari took it and unfolded it.
A hand-written letter. Neat and clear. Her question about another woman flickered uneasily in the back of her mind. Then her gaze settled on the signature at the bottom.
S.
Kari threw the paper on the floor as if it had turned into a poisonous snake. "Light burn him!"
Jayesh turned. "Did you read it?"
"No. Shin Malphur tried to kill you. What's he doing writing you letters?"
"Read it," Jayesh said wearily. He sat on the bed to pull off his boots.
Kari picked up the letter with a thumb and forefinger and shook it out straight.
Shin Malphur was an assassin who hunted Guardians who abandoned the Light and had fallen to the Darkness. But he did this by baiting Guardians with weapons of sorrow: twisted, hungry guns and swords made of sapient bone that whispered to the user and fed upon death. Jayesh had taken this particular test and passed - barely.
The letter said that Shin respected Jayesh after their last encounter, and yet had a favor to ask. The original weapon of sorrow, Thorn, the cursed hand cannon of serial killer Dredgen Yor, was locked up somewhere and had been for years. Shin was offering it to Jayesh - either for Jayesh to purify, or to destroy. But Shin wanted to move on, and he wanted to be rid of the weapon.
"Why does he offer this to you?" Kari said, throwing the letter on the dresser. "I swear, he's trying to corrupt you so he can kill you for good. I saw how you looked when you came back from fighting him. You were almost dead and so was Phoenix."
Jayesh sat on the bed in his undershirt, stroking his ghost at his shoulder with two fingers. Phoenix wore a bright red and yellow shell, and leaned into the caress like a puppy, closing his blue eye.
"That's what I was afraid to talk about," Jayesh replied. "I didn't know how to even bring it up. 'Kari, remember that crazy guy who tried to kill me and my friends? Yeah, he's not really evil, and he needs my help.'"
"He mercy-killed you," Kari murmured.
Jayesh met her gaze steadily. "It turned out all right. I found my Sunsinger power."
"He shot you like you were a horse," Kari exclaimed, rising to her feet, fists clenched. "And he has the nerve to offer you the most evil, Light-eating weapon of all time? He'll show up and kill you again. Only this time it'll take. I can't do it, Jay. Don't make me go through this again."
They gazed at each other a long moment. Kari wanted to punch him, she wanted to cry on his shoulder, she wanted to kiss him frantically. So she did nothing but stand there, controlling herself the way she controlled the Arc Light that crackled through her veins.
Jayesh held out one arm. "Come here."
She sat beside him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. His familiar smell enfolded her, warm and earthy. He was a little too warm, his Solar Light flickering near the surface with his own tension.
"It's been two years," he murmured against her hair. "I haven't threatened to die on you in that long. Don't you trust me, lovelight?"
She buried her face in his neck. "I trust you. But I feel like my heart is all scarred from seeing you hurt. I can't go through it again. He'll murder you. He's a killer, just like Dredgen Yor was."
"Not this time, I don't think," Jayesh replied, stroking her hair. He kissed her temple. "Rumor has it that he's retiring. Passing the torch to the next generation of Guardians. If I were Shin, I'd be looking for a Guardian to dump Thorn on, just to get rid of that particular baggage. I don't think he'd care what I'd do with it."
"What would you do with it?" Kari asked, sitting up and studying his face.
Jayesh's features were all clear, clean lines, speaking of his Indian ancestors. He always brushed his dark hair up into spikes, but tonight it had settled into waves across his forehead. The blue Light had returned to his eyes, not a glow, like the Awoken race had, but a reflected sparkle that had no natural source. He had a strong jaw, but his mouth was sensitive and often gave away his feelings. And right now, he was worried and tired.
"I don't know," he said at last. "Burn it with Light, probably. Scrape the bone off and see if the gun beneath can be salvaged. Bit of a modding project."
"If it didn't feed on you," Kari said.
Jayesh nodded. "There is that." He met her eyes. "Would you come with me when I go find it? I don't want to be alone. And ... I don't want Nell and Grant around any weapons of sorrow. Nell's so susceptible to them."
Kari's heart leaped. He wasn't pushing her away - he was including her, asking for her help, as he had before they were married.
"Of course," she said. "I'll ask Naomi to watch the kids for a day." She kissed him on those expressive lips, seeing the Light in his eyes brighten. "I may be busy at home, Jay, but I'm still a Stormcaller. I've been working out at the Tower gym. I've got your back."
His arm tightened around her and he kissed her hard, his joy and relief conveyed through the contact. "I'm glad," he whispered. "You don't know how glad." He kissed down her cheek and along her neck.
Kari closed her eyes, running her hand through his thick hair. "If Shin is waiting with a sniper rifle somewhere, he's going to have trouble. I owe him a couple of bullets for what he did to you."
"Mm," Jayesh said against her neck. "You're hot when you talk about revenge."
"Avenging you, more like."
"That's what's hot."
She smiled and reached for him.