Work Text:
There’s something wrong with Teru’s head. There has to be. There can’t not be something completely wrong with how he’s been thinking lately. Maybe he got hit too hard in battle. Maybe he’s too stressed. Maybe he needs a vacation. Maybe he needs time away from everyone. It’s not like he isn’t already doing that, though.
Teru has spent the past week skipping school, ignoring friends, and avoiding everything and everyone. Of course people are worried. The few times they’ve caught him wandering outside and stopped him to say something, he didn’t answer. Teru kept on walking. They can’t know. He doesnt know what they can’t know, but they can’t. He doesn’t know why.
What he does know is that his heart’s been feeling funny lately. His head, too. Specifically when thinking back to his time with that man. The man that overpowered him. Attacked him. Hurt him. Defeated him.
Yet there was something unexplainable about him. About what, Teru didn’t know. And what caused it, even less. Maybe it was how he dressed. Or the way he smiled. Or how he stood. Or how he fought. It was something, definitely. But what?
Was it anger? The feeling of defeat is never pleasant. But Teru doesn’t seem to be mad at the man anymore, so likely not.
Was it hatred? Once again, still unlikely. Since he isn’t mad, why would he hate him? If anything he likes the man.
Was it pride? He wouldn’t understand why if that was the case. Teru lost against him, after all, and failed to protect someone. You shouldn’t be prideful about things like that if you’re trying to be a hero.
Was it embarrassment? Well, while he doesn’t like losing, it’s not like he’s embarrassed about it. Teru wouldn’t mind seeing the man again and wouldn’t run away if he did. So, no.
Was it…
Love?
This is a hard one. Teru doesn’t understand love very well. He’s never had a crush, unless you count looking at those cute girls pass by at school and feeling like you should impress them. He suspects that’s not the case, though.
He’s worried that that’s the answer. People would think that he’s a creep, “he” being Teru or the man. People would say the man groomed him, but Teru doesn’t feel groomed. The man would be falsely accused. And Teru is supposed to like people his age, and while it’s not unusual to... like someone older than you, its weird to be together with one. Right?
He’s also worried because the man is a man. You’re not supposed to like boys if you’re a boy. At least that’s what people say to him. Teru doesn’t want to upset them because he’s a boy that likes a boy. Then again, he’s a teenager. He’s at the age where he rebels. Maybe being a boy that likes a boy won’t be a problem, then. Never mind.
He’s also worried that that’s not the answer. Because if it isn’t, then what is? What about that man could be bothering Teru enough to make him skip class? Avoid people? Be this confused? If the emotion is this strong, what else could it be?
He’s also worried that he’ll never see the man again. He wants to talk to him about it. But it’ll be weird because the man barely knows him. And the last time they spoke they fought. But it doesn’t matter. It’s what Teru has to do in order to figure out what’s going on with himself.
Next time they meet...until they meet again. Teru will ask the man why he’s so in love with him.