Work Text:
“It has to be a date”, Clint argues, nearly spilling his overfilled beer mug.
It was your usual night in the Avengers tower. Meaning, everyone was bored and everyone was in the living room, drinking their sorrows or arguing. Well, almost everyone.
“It doesn’t have to be anything”, Nat rolls her eyes. She takes a swig of her bottle, leaning back against the leather couch. “He could just be out for a run”
“At 11 pm?”, Tony grumbles, kicking his feet onto the glass table. “Doubt it”
“This is Steve that we’re talking about”, the archer huffs. “I’ve seen him scarf an entire apple pie at 3 am covered in confetti and glitter”
“Sounds like a normal friday night, if you ask me”, Natasha muses, sipping her foamy beer.
“Well no one was”, Clint hisses, to only be returned with Natasha’s stuck out tongue.
“So, it’s decided, we’re stalking him”, the billionaire clasps his hands together in excitement. “Lovely, I’ll ready my suit”
“It’s not stalking”, the archer objects, scrunching his face in annoyance.
“Oh it’s totally stalking”, the red-headed ex-assassin teases. “Back me up Bruce”
“She’s not wrong”, he agrees.
“We’d just be...following him. Just to make sure he’s okay”
“Cut the bullshit, Barton”, Nat groans. “You’re curious, we all are, but that doesn’t mean we have to stalk him”
“I’m just saying-”
The archer cuts himself off as the star spangled man himself strolled into the living room, dressed in buttoned down shirt and hair slicked back smoothly. He smiled in welcome at his teammates.
“Don’t have too much fun while I’m away”, Steve grins, fiddling with his shirt cuffs.
“How could we, you’re the life of the party”, Nat smirks, tipping her beer to him.
“Where you off to, Rogers?”, Clint asks, ignoring his fellow assassin's glare.
“Meeting up with an old friend”
“What, at the retirement center on 34th? ”, Tony chuckles, raising an eyebrow.
Rolling his eyes, Steve shrugs on his brown, old timey jacket, shoving his hands into the tattered coat pockets.
“Have fun, don’t stay up to late”, he calls over his shoulder, before slamming the door behind him.
For a second, there’s silence, and none moves.
Natasha sighs. “Okay, fine, lets go”
“Yesss!”
…
“Is that...a McDonalds?!”
A flabbergasted Barton gapes as the one and only Steve Rogers politely opens the door for a smiling old lady before entering a neon sign covered McDonalds. And it was indeed their annoyingly helpful friend; that familiar army jacket was recognizable even from meters away.
“We sure aren’t accounting for taste”, a judgemental Tony grumbles. “I mean, there’s a five guys across the street, what is wrong with him”
“Among other things, his fashion sense”, Nat responds sarcastically, eyeing his gray sweatpants.
“C’mon”, Clint gestures the group forward.
The remaining Avengers casually, completely faking their chillness, strolled into the surprisingly crowded fast food restaurant.
Tony glowered at the sorry excuses for burgers, while Banner, being the only functioning adult in the group, politely talked to the cashier and ordered a somewhat appetizing dinner for the whole team.
The bored teen, with heavy bags beneath her eyes, didn’t seem to notice the presence of Earth’s mightiest heroes, more focused on a half opened textbook hidden beneath the counter.
While Bruce placed their order, Clint scouted the busy restaurant, if you could call it that Tony would grumble, for their superhero friend. It was surprisingly easy to find a 6 foot 2 super soldier among the heads of greasy children, if not just for the fact that the place was far from packed.
The living legend sat huddled in a corner booth, a pile of happy meals splayed across the table. Clint could make out a bob of messy black hair across from the soldier.
“Guysssss”
He nods his head towards the odd pair.
“We got ‘em boys”
Nat, eyebrows furrowed, and Bruce, a greased bag cradled in his arms, turn in unison, eyes widening as their eyes fall on Steve.
The super soldier was exuberantly waving his hands about for emphasis, a grin split across his usual grim face. In one hand, he clasped a figurine, and in the other, a deck of cards.
Curiously, the group of totally-inconspicuous super heroes huddled into a nearby booth, ignoring Tony’s grabbing motions for the grease-covered bag.
“A burger’s a burger no matter how bad”, he shrugged.
“Shhhhh”
“Whatever, Katniss”
Clint cocked his head to the side, ears bristled as the remaining Avengers moved in to eavesdrop on their leader.
“-and he just stood there like an idiot, the audacity!”
Steve’s company sighs, shaking his head. “Straight guys, am I right”
“Earth’s greatest mysteries”
“Tell me about it”, the kid groans. “How ‘bout you, finally sucked up your pride and asked out Barnes?”
Tony chokes on his burger all the while Nat starts grinning like a maniac.
“Oh, so you wanna play that game?”, Steve smirks, “How’s operation Solangelo going?”
“Hey, at least I haven’t been pining for 90 years straight”
“At least I can talk to Buck without blushing so hard I shadow-travel to Scotland”
“That was one time!”, the teen retorts. “And for your information, it was Budapest”
“Oh, of course, my mistake”
“And I did it on purpose”
“I’m sure you did”
“Budapest is lovely this time of year”, he rolls his eyes, fiddling with a happy meal toy. “Not that you’d know, having not left the city in gods know how long”
“I’m working,'' Steve says, raising an eyebrow. Nat giggles, mouthing “working” with air quotes.
“On what? Your six pack?”
Tony has to stifle his laughter.
“Some of us have more to do than hang out in the infirmary all day”
“What, back to punching Hitler than”
“Something like that”, Steve sighs, sitting back. “Guessing your up to your old schemes than, raising the dead and all that”
“Solace‘s got me on bed rest”, he rolls his eyes, “Barely let me go out tonight”
“Awwww, how sweet”, the super-soldier teases. “He cares”
“Gods, you’re worse than Jason”, the teen groans, tossing an empty box at his companions. “He’s been trying to set us up all summer”
“Good Man”, Steve takes a bite out of his burger, “doing what you two are too chicken to do”
“The hypocrisy of that statement is just blowing my mind”
“I like this kid”, Tony whispers beneath his breath, nodding in approval. “He’s got spunk”
“So how’s the old camp anyways?”
“Percy blew up the toilets twice in the past week and the entirety of Cabin Ten is out for Leo’s blood”
“Blow up the roof again, did he?”, Steve snickers, stealing a fry from the other’s plate.
“More like dropped 20 pounds of burning Celestial Bronze onto their cabin at 4 in the morning,'' the teen smirks. “They’ve been on a warpath all week”
“Surprised Pipes hasn’t decked him already”
“Oh she has, and don’t worry, I’ll send you the video,'' he grins, “but we all know they’re planning something. Kinda hoping for another Prank war”
“Wasn’t there one last week?”
“...so”
“I thought you all had more to do than annoy each other”, Steve chastices.
“There’s only so many times you can climb the lava wall without getting bored out of your goddamn mind”
“So, this is your guys’ way of ‘sprucing’ things up”
“The world hasn’t ended in awhile, we get bored”
“You guys need to get out more”, the super soldier cocks an eyebrow. “Maybe come out to the city for more than just McDonalds, Di Angelo”
“Hey, I went to a Mythomagic tournament last weekend, I’ll have you know”
Steve raises an eyebrow.
“I’m sure you and Will had a great time”
“I hate you”
“You’re not denying it,'' the hero giggles, dodging the juice pouch hurled out his head.
Clint gives Nat an astonished look. “Did Steve Rogers just giggle”
“My life is a lie,'' Tony muses, half-asleep on the counter.
“And for your information, I dragged him there”
“I’m sure you did Mr. Comatose”
Sticking out his tongue, the teen rests his head against the table, propped up by his elbow.
“Sooooo”, he drags out, “how’s that little club of yours”
Tony perks up and Clint tilts in to listen closer, very obviously may I add.
Sighing, Steve rolls his eyes. “Annoying as always”
“I can see that”, the kid smirks as Tony lets out an offended squawk.
“Mhmm?”, the super-soldier chokes on his burger.
The emo-like child meets Nat’s curious gaze. He raises an eyebrow.
“I know what I said”
In unison, the four snooping avengers freeze as their leader whips around in confusion.
“Uh...hi?”
“What the- why-”, Steve’s gaze flicks from one hero to another, “What are you guys doing here?!”
“Research?”, Clint exclaims as Nat shouts out “Curiosity”
“We thought you were finally going on a date”, Stark pepes up.
“In our defense”, the archer says, “you never leave the compound...like, ever”
“Cough, cough, Hypocrite, cough”, the emo sputters mockingly. “And you say I don’t get out much”.
“Do you guys have nothing better to do than stalk me?”
“Yes”
“Obviously”
“You guys need to get hobbies”, the super soldier sighs.
“Like I said,'' the kid smirks, “Hypocrite.”
“Shut up Di Angelo”
“It’s nice to meet you”, Nico smiles, moving to shake Nat’s extended hand. “Steve talks a lot about you guys.”
“Awe shucks Rogers I’m touched,” Tony snickers, jumping out of Natasha’s slapping range. “So about Rogers and Barnes-”
“Are they f*cking or what?”
Steve chokes, his eyes bugging out comically.
“Oh I wish.”
“NICO!”, Rogers glares.
“They’ve been eyeing each other since we were kids,” the half-blood rolls his eyes, whispering to Nat. “I’ve been trying to hook them up for decades.”
“I hate you.”
“Whatever ya say Stevie,” he says, sticking out his tongue.
“Ok I’m confused”, Tony furrows his eyebrows, “Who are you?”
“The names Nico, Nico di Angelo.”
Sighing, Steve tosses his wrapper into the trash. “Me and Neeks-”
“-don’t call me that!-”
“-we go way back”, he smirks, elbowing his friend. “I had some family in Italy and we used to visit a lot, and di Angelo over here lived next door.”
“This bugger kept getting into fights, someone had to save his ass while Buck was busy”, Nico says, “and long story short, here we are.”
For a moment, there’s silence.
“...so what’s with the toys than?”
“They’re figurines!”