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“Cas?” Dean whispers into his boyfriend’s black curls, hoping that he’s still awake.
“Yes, Dean?” Castiel answers, moving his head from Dean’s chest to his shoulder so they’re face to face.
“I just- I love you,” the blond says, pressing another kiss to Castiel’s hairline, forcing away the tears, “I love you so much it hurts, Cas,” he whispers, voice breaking.
“Dean, now you’re scaring me, what’s going on? Tell me, please?” Castiel says and moves his hand from Dean’s stomach to cup his face, tracing a stubbled jawline with his thumb.
“It’s nothing, really. It’s silly, just ignore me, I’ll be fine,” Dean tries, but now he can’t help the tears that’s blurring his view.
“Dean, look at me. I could never ignore you, I love you. Now, please, tell me what it is,” the smaller man says, tangling his legs with Dean’s as he moves to wrap his arms around Dean, holding him in an iron grip.
“I just don’t want to lose you,” Dean sobs, chest heaving erratically, “just like I lost everything, everyone, else, my mother, my father, Bobby, Sammy is in California” he adds. Castiel looks at his boyfriend, at his beautiful, smart, loving, caring, fantastic boyfriend, and he can’t understand how someone can hurt anyone as unbelievable amazing as Dean.
“You won’t,” Castiel whispers back, pressing kisses everywhere he can reach, “you won’t,” he repeats again and again, between kisses. “You won’t,” clavicle, “you won’t,” neck, “you won’t,” jawline, “you won’t,” behind the ear, “you won’t,” underneath the eyes, kissing away all tears. “You won’t lose me, ever, Dean. I’m yours for all eternity, and longer than that,” he whispers one last time before letting his lips meet Dean’s in a chaste kiss, soothing, loving and gentle.
“I love you too, Dean, and I’m scared too,” Castiel whispers after a while, head once again resting on Dean’s chest, “I’m scared, because it’s not until now that I understand what people mean when they say that they can’t live without someone. I couldn’t, I can’t, live without you, Dean. You are my everything. All I ever needed, and so much more than I deserve.” He can feel Dean’s arms coming up to embrace him, hold him close, as close as they can possibly be. He feels Dean’s stomach against his chest, legs pressed against legs and a hot breath in his hair.
“You know, I remember the first time you spent the night,” Dean says, still not letting his boyfriend go.
“I hope you do, it was a pretty big deal, Dean,” Castiel says jokingly, nudging at Dean’s chest with his nose.
“Hey, I’m trying here, let me finish,” Dean exclaims, tries to look at least a little bit irritated, but he can’t.
“I’m sorry, please go on,” Castiel chuckles.
“I remember that night, every single second of it. But do you know what my favorite part is?” Dean asks, looking down at the mop of black hair. Castiel shakes his head, biting back the snappy reply that’s almost rolling off his tongue.
“The morning after, when I came in from the kitchen with pancakes and you woke up and looked so perfect, the sun shining in from the window, giving you almost a halo. Your hair was a mess, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it so messy as it was that morning, and you had red lines from the creases in the sheets across your face, matching the hickeys on your chest and neck,” Dean smiles at the memory before continuing, “and then you opened your eyes and looked at me as if I was something unbelievable, something amazing. That’s when I knew.”
“Knew what?” Castiel asks, nudging at Dean’s chest once again.
“That every morning that I don’t have you waking up in my bed is a wasted morning. That every night I don’t have you sleeping in my arms is a wasted night. That every day I don’t tell you that I love you is a wasted day, and that if I hadn’t met you, my whole life would’ve seemed like a waste,” Dean says sincerely, placing his fingers underneath Castiel’s chin, turning his head upwards so he can kiss him. His boyfriend is smiling from beneath black curls, this time he’s the one blinking away tears.
“If I didn’t know you better, Winchester, I’d call that a proposal,” Castiel jokes, reaching up to kiss Dean again. Dean smiles before kissing back.
“Perhaps it was,” he murmurs against Castiel’s lips, his boyfriend going still at his words. Castiel moves away slowly, looking at Dean with wide eyes, questioning eyes.
“Castiel James Novak, will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?” Dean asks, still smiling, reaching out to pull Castiel flush against him again.
“Yes, Dean, a thousand times yes,” Castiel snivels, kissing Dean passionately, alternating kisses with “yes, yes, yes,” making Dean laugh.
“Hey, babe, you don’t have to say it a thousand times, I think I get the point,” he teases, earning a glare from his fiancé.
“Oh shut up, and kiss me, would you?”