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the king and queen of askr find him while on a day trip out near the border. they aren't expecting to find anyone out here, in no man's land, but there he is. this scraggly, dirty, scrambled kid, who takes one look at them and just keeps running.
No.
no, fleeing, the askrans discover a moment later. their retinue collides head on with several emblian… emblian spies? emblian thieves? emblian warriors? they never quite figure it out. by the time the fighting is over, all the emblians are dead.
No.
All of them except one.
someone is missing, they note. the king and queen and all their retinue comb through the forest until they find the kid, stuck halfway up a tree. until they find the very clearly emblian kid stuck halfway up a tree. the long white emblian hair. the burning liquid red emblian eyes. he's screeching in court accented emblian language when the lead of the kingsguard clambers up the tree to get the kid down.
he's painfully, obviously emblian. they know it from the start.
They take him in anyway.
it’s a bad idea, of course it is. gustav tries to talk henriette out of it. henriette tries to talk gustav out of it. they’re both equally guilty in bringing this threat into the castle, but. the kid is just a kid. and given who was chasing him (who was chasing him, they ask themselves every now and again), it's likely he’s someone’s inconvenient bastard. some borderlord born with bad luck. poor kid. he’s just a kid.
and he holds on fiercely to the neck of gustav’s horse as they ride along, trying hard not to cry.
he’s just a kid.
compromise is the foundation of every good partnership. he'll stay. the newest of many wards of the castle. the falconer will take him, or the cook, perhaps. nothing dangerous. something secure, but out of the way. enough to give him a home, a start. a chance.
it's a good plan.
too bad it lasts for all of about five minutes.
Alfonse takes to the kid immediately. Sharena too, though she’s hardly old enough to make friends.
oh, how the king and queen know. they shouldn’t let their children hang around with some emblian unknown. there is no sense to it.
and yet...the only time zacharias really talks is around the royal children.
this is how they discover he’s picked up the rudiments of askran language
the kid is smart, the king and queen realize. very smart.
and Alfonse and Sharena do get along with him, so, so well.
compromise, is the foundation of every good relationship. so. they take him aside.
they tell him who he is.
he listens, with wide, revenant red eyes
emblian, they say (not Enemy)
they ask him who he wants to be
askran, they offer (not Emblian)
Is he too young to understand the choice?
Probably.
Likely.
the king and queen both think, likely.
but this is the compromise.
and, what is he going to say? no? ha. embla’s already a memory - and not a good one. a fuzzy one. one they imagine he’s hoping will fade. one they hope will fade. they beg askr for that grace on his behalf.
what is he going to say, no? no. he says yes. of course he says yes. this is home. rather, this is the place where at least someone wants him.
(no, where someone who is alive wants him)
(but they never ask about parents, so he never tells them.)
he gets special tutors to teach him askran language, customs, beliefs. some of his fondest earlier childhood memories become those of the queen helping him learn to dye his hair an askran color. of gustav teaching him lancing and Alfonse swordwork, teaching both of them the askran styles.
another compromise: zacharias, while not technically family, is…
well.
close enough, the king and queen think.
assume.
they raise him askran
and this...
this is their first mistake.
this is their first mistake.
and it just keeps compounding.
compromise is the foundation of any decent fracture. he never learns emblian. embla comes up in geography class. the tutor, away from the oversight of the king and queen, tells them the horror stories. the hell. the death, the dying. the nightmare of what’s been done.
and by who.
Emblians. (enemies)
Enemies. (emblians)
Not like him.
He’s Askran.
hes home.
hes an askran…
…Until he isn’t anymore.
He wakes up. the dark curse ricochets through his nightmares for the first time
and the second time
and the third time and the fourth time and the
the
the dreams of hurting people-
no. no not people. dreams of hurting-
askrans
(enemies)
it’s not even a question
he’s an askran
they raised him like that
the king and queen did
theres no question about what to do, so, he simply tells them.
what else was he supposed to do?
compromise is denial. the king and queen have been denying, deluding themselves, for years. deluding themselves into believing he’s no different than any other kid-
no, that’s not quite true, is it?
they’ve been trying to delude themselves into believing they don’t think he’s different.
it’s ‘raise him an askran’
not ‘raise him a kid’
its raise him an askran because he is an emblian
he’s got the hair, you see
and he watches with those trembling red eyes.
theres no question about what to do. he tells them the truth about how he feels, or really, he tells them how he doesn’t feel, but rather what his nightmares are telling him how to feel. its complicated. they don’t understand. they’ve never understood.
they’ve never understood emblians, that is
(emblians = enemies)
(this is the archetype)
(there is no other)
compromise is the thin threading together of truths. they don’t understand these horrible things he is saying, yet they have to find a way to understand.
they come to a conclusion. they come to the terribly flawed conclusion, that their conclusion is terribly flawed.
they do understand, they think.
an askran would never feel this way.
An Askran would never feel this way.
an emblian, though…
Time to rethink. compromise: to cause the impairment of. they can't have him compromising the children so they separate them right away - though their son and daughter are grown enough to fight back, now. he’s our friend!
no he isn’t, they think
and rethink. compromised: unable to function optimally, especially with regard to immune response
the dreams get worse (it’s the separation. they've taken away the only ones who have truly never thought enemy)
Rethink compromise - to expose or make liable to danger.
he can’t take it
he has to see them
he has to see them, so they sneak out on patrol
they meaning he and the royal children.
they meaning he
-and the voices in his head with the sound of old dark gods telling him to hurt his enemies-
-and the voices in his head with the sound of new kings and queens telling him he isn’t askran anymore-
they meaning he and his voices.
he's compromised and they knew it. broken into too many pieces and he can't take it, those voices that redefine his enemies and those voices telling him to hurt his enemies loud and louder and louder until they combine-
(along with the dread of losing another home, another family, another self)
(another life, so long ago)
(they dont ask about parents and he doesn’t tell them)
zacharias and alfonse and sharena, all together, they go out on patrol and the king and queens’ compromises crystallize into one moment. one moment. one little moment where zacharias is just another moment away from killing the only two people left who really, truly love him
they taught him well
they taught him oh so well, didn't they.
the king and queen’s mistake lead zacharias a hairline fracture distance away from killing alfonse
and by all rights…
he should have
but…
but.
no.
he doesn’t.
You see…
Part one: for all their efforts and for all the doubts they had and will always have, after that night-
he’s still askran
(enough)
he’s askran enough to say this is my family
Part two: for all their efforts and for all the doubts they once suppressed before that night-
he’s still emblian
(enough)
he’s emblian enough to say this isn’t home
(who was chasing him? the queen and king of askr will ask themselves every now and again)
they taught zacharias well but…what they taught him and what he learned are not the same
and they should be so, so proud of him
and they should so, so clearly be able to see why
only-
They aren’t.
And they don’t.
all they’ve ever really seen is an emblian, running from something-
and that’s all they ever will.